Chris stands in front of the Gilded Chris Awards Ceremony for the recap. "Last time on Total Drama Action! He was a boy.." An image of Trent slides into frame. "..She was a girl." And now Gwen.
"And last week on Total Drama Action, they went head-to-head in our first team based challenge!" The recap footage casts on screen. "The Gaffers and the Grips were established. Trent went psycho on Gwen and everyone else on his team, especially when Izzy- I mean.. E-Scope.. Messed up in the acting challenge. Tyler fell, a lot, ahahaha.. And Duncan gave an Oscar worthy performance, earning invincibility for his team. That meant we had to say goodbye to E-Scope after she bit Trent and paid the price for it, leaving Owen all alone."
"Will Duncan shatter Gwen and Trent's barely there relationship? How will Beth win Justin's heart? Will my vanilla bean soy latte EVER get here?" He checks his watch impatiently before looking back up at the camera. "All of these answers… answered, right now! On…
Total!
Drama!
Action!"
A clapper slams shut over the camera.
The catchy theme song begins playing over an intro sequence.
The first shot depicts a bag of popcorn on the floor being eaten by a raccoon, followed by a close-up of a camera perched up in a bird's nest over a stage light, and lastly Chef Hatchet trying on a beautiful, see-through pink dress in a velvet room, just before he realizes he's being filmed and Chris appears, slamming a clacker down that forces the camera to fall down into a pool of water.
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine.
You guys are on my mind.
Harold, in his street clothes balancing on a surfboard, dodges seagulls being fired at him through a baseball launcher, one of which hitting him in the nose and causing him to fall into the pool below.
You asked me what I wanted to be
And now I think the answer is plain to see.
Duncan laughs, revealing himself as the one who was firing the shots. To his right, Tyler jumps to regain control of the gun, only for Duncan to use it on him, causing him to run out the door as the delinquent continues to laugh.
I wanna be famous.
We zoom out of that set to the beach, where Beth is suntanning with Cody, the latter reading a doujin with a lewd anime girl on the cover while Beth has her hands behind her head and a pair of sunglasses over her eyes, her braceless teeth shining.
I wanna live close to the sun
So pack your bags 'cause I already won.
We pan toward two pillars, featuring Heather and LeShawna standing on one each, battling each other with foam batons. They each get some decent hits in, but LeShawna is able to get a better one that knocks Heather's wig off of her head, revealing her baldness.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day.
The brunette wig falls into a pot of food on a stove, which DJ peppers with a pink shaker, a heart as the label. He grabs a spoon and takes a sip of the broth, which he finds delicious.
'Cause I wanna be famous.
Lindsay, nervous as she watches the monitors, clicks a button that detonates a bomb, destroying a random building with Owen and Izzy inside, the couple still making out on a couch despite the blast around them. This appears to be an accident, if her terrified face of regret is anything to go off.
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na!
Justin walks in front of Owen and Izzy, posing, showing off his muscles and kissing the camera before Izzy jumps on his back and bites his neck, scaring him into running away with her still on his back. Owen chases after them, right in front of a limousine.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
The limousine passenger seat opens, revealing Trent and Gwen. Trent stares at Gwen romantically, his arm wrapped around her shoulder, while Gwen forces a smile his way, hugging herself awkwardly. Trent motions his hand, and the camera follows the new pathway he's created.
I wanna be, I wanna be
I wanna be famous!
The camera soars past paparazzi into a talk show set, where the peanut gallery as well as the contestants from this season, whistle the instrumentals of the theme song while Geoff and Bridgette prepare to lock lips, only to realize they're being filmed and stop before their lips can meet, a blush on both of their faces.
Total Drama Action: The Creeps Cut
Written by voicefromunderthecovers
In the craft services tent, Owen sighs, poking at a piece of bacon with his fork, one arm holding his head up. His eyes are half closed and his appetite seems dangerously small. The Grips, excluding Beth and Lindsay who are still getting breakfast, all notice.
"Hey, you alright, buddy?" Tyler asks from next to him.
"I'll be alright… I just miss E-Scope."
"Ha, please, dude, she's insane. You're not missing much." Trent states insensitively. Owen looks up at him, wanting to say something, but can't bear to argue with his friend.
"Look, Owen, there are plenty of fish in the sea," Justin starts, smiling with those perfect teeth of his while flexing his muscles. "Izzy- I mean, E-Scope, would have wanted you to move on."
"No, I'm pretty sure she said that if she died while we were still together, she'd kill any 'floozie who steals her man away with ghostly precision.' Besides, we're not broken up.. Just separated by an entire televised reality show." The big man sighs again, pushing his plate away. "I'm sorry, does anybody want my bacon? I don't have much of an appetite."
The group stare at each other in shock, a little frightened for their friend.
(Confessional: Trent)
"Owen? Rejecting food? That's just mental! Poor guy.. I wish I could help. But I have to stay vigilant. Duncan and Gwen could sneak off at any point if I don't keep my eyes on them. Yup! We're still together because of my watchful eye."
(Confessional end)
On the Gaffers table, Duncan and Gwen are chatting, with Gwen facing Trent. She looks incredibly uneasy with how intense his staring is. He waves at her, smiling like a kid in a candy store. She awkwardly smiles back and waves. Lindsay and Beth walk past them with two full plates of breakfast, sitting down on either side of Justin across from Owen.
"It'll be alright, buddy.." Tyler comforts, touching Owen's back.
"Justin, look! I brought you bacon." Lindsay says. Tyler growls.
"I brought you facon. Tofu's good for your heart.." Beth says, pushing her fake bacon into his view. Lindsay glares at her.
"Pig's good for his hair!"
"Holy crap I love his hair!" Beth jumps up, hugging Justin's face while massaging his hair. Cody cringes from across the room.
(Confessional: Cody)
"I dodged quite the metal bullet not speeding into a relationship with Beth, huh? Anyway, operation Save Gwen From Trent is a go, starting today! I would have started it yesterday, but that homework is important stuff, you know?"
(Confessional end)
"Ladies, ladies, please. I enjoy both your offerings. Join me for breakfast?" Justin offers, picking Beth off of his shoulder and back onto her seat. Both girls dreamily look up at him before digging in. Tyler slams his hands on the table to get their attention.
"Hey! Lindsay, why are you offering some other guy breakfast? What's the big idea?! Are you… not into me anymore?"
"I'm sorry, Tyler.. Justin just has this way of getting me all worked up.. But I'm not gonna leave you! I love you!" She blows him a kiss that's interrupted by Justin's hand over her lips. She gives him an 'eyes half closed' bedtime look, which makes Tyler so mad he starts shivering.
"I'm gonna kick your ass, bro! I swear!" The jock yells, pointing at the model. Justin laughs.
"Oh yeah? You and what army? Face it Tyler: you put your hands on me, and you get eliminated."
Tyler looks around. Everyone on his team is against him, glaring at him, whether they're hypnotized by lady killing looks or not. He tries to reply, but truly, he has nothing.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"Everyone is into that guy! I'd get voted off instantly if I tried something. Owen likes him, Beth is all over him, even Lindsay finds him too attractive to resist, and Trent's his friend! I'm the ONLY Grip who has a problem with him. Well… I guess Izzy did too, right? But she's gone now… damnit! We should have formed some kind of Anti Justin club. That woulda showed him!"
(Confessional: Beth)
"Tensions are REALLY high on the team right now, with Owen depressed since Izzy's gone and Trent fuming over Duncan and Gwen's friendship, so in honor OF friendship, I decided to make everyone friendship bracelets! See?" She shows off a red bracelet around her wrist. "They're so easy to make thanks to the resources we have in the make-up room. I love this confessional, hehe!"
(Confessional end)
Cody sits down next to Duncan. "Duncaaaan, buddy! Mind if I steal this seat? I need to talk to Gwen."
"Ha! Sure, if you like having a hole burned into the back of your skill by Mr. Schizophrenic back there." Duncan responds.
Gwen shoots him a look. "He has OCD, Duncan. Don't poke fun at that. He can't control it."
Duncan shrugs, standing up with his empty tray. "Whatever. You're probably right."
"I am right. Trent means well, he's just.. Missing his meds."
"It's true. I haven't seen him this bad since he lost his meds last season." LeShawna adds.
"No comment." Heather replies.
(Confessional: Heather)
"Do I feel guilty about hurting Gwen and Trent so much? No way. That was all their own faults. No communication, two unstable individuals, it's a recipe for disaster. Besides, Trent is the one who cheated. I had no commitment to either of those people."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"Lemme tell ya something about controlling individuals: people like Trent lose in the game of love. Not that I've ever loved anyone.. But you know what I mean. He's driving Gwen away day by day, and her stress levels are running through the roof. It sucks, man."
(Confessional end)
"Have you tried contacting his pharmacy?" DJ questions.
"We called them the other day, but we can't pick up his medication or have it delivered because disclosing the location of the set will get us both eliminated."
"Damn… maybe uh, maybe Trent should just go home then? So he can be treated." Cody cuts in, scratching the back of his neck.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Gwen questions, crossing her arms defensively.
"I'm just saying! Gwen, I uh.. He's violent, okay? He's been.. Aggressive towards you lately, and, well… Honestly? I"m starting to fear for your safety-"
Trent sits himself down next to Cody. "Hey, Gwen! Cody.. mind if I take your seat?"
Cody shifts uncomfortably, Trent's glare settled down on the short guy. "Uh…"
Duncan shrugs, standing a few feet away. "Oh by all means, go right ahead. Come on, Cody, you can do my homework for me." Trent and Cody stare at him, Trent's glare evident.
"Uh…. But I-"
Trent pulls Cody off of the bench. "She's my girlfriend, dude. You had your chance. You flopped. Buzz off."
Cody glares at Trent, then turns his head to Gwen and nods at her. Everyone on the Gaffers' table stays quiet. Gwen gives him an apologetic look. "S-See you around, guys." Duncan and Cody walk away, while Trent sits across from his girl, hopping his knee. The Gaffers table becomes insanely quiet.
"So… they your friends now, babe?" Trent's tone is thick in sarcasm, his hands forming air quotes.
Gwen chuckles awkwardly, shifting in her seat. "Uh.. yeah! Yeah Cody's been a great friend ever since the first season. I mean, he set us up, you know?"
"Right, right. He was pretty into you back then."
Gwen plays with her hair nervously. "Mm.. he was."
Trent leans into his girlfriend. "You're uh.. You're not gonna kiss him, are you?"
Gwen goes wide eyed. Trent chuckles. "What? It's a joke." The rest of his team looks at him, all of them weirded out or concerned. He shakes his head. "What, so Duncan can get away with making sexist jokes and flirting with fans, but I'm the weirdo for making light of my situation? Okay, sure." He sits down with a huff, crossing his arms, his leg bobbing up and down.
Still freaked out and now scooting away from Trent toward LeShawna, Gwen slowly nods. "...Okay."
"Ahem.. uh, this cuisine is pretty grody, am I right, guys?" Cody awkwardly changes the subject, picking up a spoonful of stiff, chunky bacon with his fork.
"I wish Chef would let me in the kitchen. I have mad culinary arts skills. I'm sure I could turn this slop around into something nutritious AND tasty." Harold says, stroking a piece of his bacon while squinting at it.
"Trust me, you do NOT want to work with Chef Hatchet. Or with his ingredients for that matter." DJ says.
"Aside from the obvious laundry list of reasons, why?" Duncan questions.
"Chef's whole ideology about food is messed up. The producers won't give him a stable food budget, so he relies on using old, mostly stale and moldy ingredients to, in his words, 'fix' a meal."
Heather immediately spits out her bacon, wiping her tongue. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!"
Chris walks in just then, carrying a surfboard while wearing a pineapple themed t-shirt and shorts. "Hang onto your coconuts, players! We're going BACK to the BEACH!" He slides a pair of shades over his face, winking at them. Now he has their attention. "Ever seen one of those 1950s surfer movies where the kids get up to neato fun before the big bonfire twistathon, and the bully gets the sandcastle in the nerdy guy's face?"
Silence. Nobody gets it, aside from Harold, who nods solemnly. Heather continues wiping her tongue while muttering "Gross, gross, gross, gross!"
"No, Grandpa, we haven't." Duncan replies.
"Well, you're about to be in one, Junior! For the first part of a potentially three part challenge, meet me in lot 1 for your challenge. Oh, and be sure to change into your swimsuits. It's gonna be a scorcher." Chris walks out, leaving all the contestants to stand up and begin leaving. As DJ tries to walk away, Chef appears from the kitchen and yanks his arm back, whispering in his ear.
"If the thing with the sandcastles goes down, make sure you're the kicker, not the kickee." He releases the brickhouse, who walks away while rubbing his arms apprehensively.
(Confessional: DJ)
"Chef's been making me help out in the kitchen every day, which means I always have to get up earlier than everyone else. I'm doing this for Momma, but would Momma really respect me cheating like I did last challenge? I guess it wasn't me who did it specifically.. It was Chef. But still."
(Confessional: Trent)
"What am I doing wrong? How come Gwen is so freaked out lately? I said I was sorry about the whole 'boyfriend' crack and now I'm joking with her at my expense. Am I really that creepy?" He grabs at the blender necklace hanging on his neck and shakes it nine times. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine."
(Confessional end)
The contestants walk together in their swimsuits to stage one, the summer sun indeed beaming down on them. The leaves are slowly but surely falling from trees, despite the raging heat.
LeShawna walks with Harold and Cody. "So about page six-"
"Yup. We did that one too. I can totally give you all of my notes if you want." Harold offers, smiling.
"Straight up? I'd really appreciate that, Harold." LeShawna replies, smiling back.
Cody watches Gwen in front of him, solemnly walking by herself. "What about you, Cody? How's chapter two going for you?" Harold asks.
"Mind if I get back to you guys on that? I think Gwen needs somebody to talk to, and, well.." The dork scratches the back of his neck.
LeShawna puts her hands on her hips and smirks. "Go for it, string bean."
"Have faith in yourself, and she will too." Harold guides.
"Thanks, Harold. But that's not what I'm exactly going for here. Wish me luck." Cody speed walks toward Gwen, meeting side-by-side with her. She looks down at him. "Hey, got a minute to talk?"
"Don't we all?" Gwen asks.
"Where's Duncan?" Cody asks, walking alongside her.
"Keeping his distance, since he doesn't want Trent to harp on me any harder than he already is." She points at Duncan, who is walking with DJ.
"Yowch. Guess that means you and I are uh.. talking alone then." Cody raises his eyebrows suggestively, smirking.
"I'd make it quick. His eyes usually don't divert from me this long." Gwen reminds him. Cody spots Trent, his head down to the floor as he walks ahead of them.
"Alright. Look, Gwen, I'll be honest… I made a mistake." Cody starts, rubbing the back of his neck.
"You did?" Gwen questions.
"I helped Trent and you get back together during the finale of season one because I knew he made you happy. I never expected the relationship to be so… rickety afterwards."
"Trust me, nobody did."
"And I know that what you did made him justifiably angry, but he's been showing bizarre signs of a toxic boyfriend all the way back when he went on that weed bender last season." He continues.
"Or when he had sex with Heather while we were still together." Gwen groans.
"See, even you see it!"
"But imagine if I was the one who dumped him, Cody. Imagine how hard he'd break, or what people would say." Gwen replies.
"Since when have you cared about what other people had to say?"
Gwen has no response. She hangs her head and sighs.
"He's been verbally abusive, he's targeted your friends, and he even threatened to beat the tar out of me just a few days ago." Cody says.
Gwen looks surprised, tilting her chin up. "For real? That actually happened?"
"Yes! Just before I got shot by alien Chef." Cody answers.
Gwen collects her face in her hands."...God, what is wrong with him?"
"Did something happen? Aside from the whole Geoff thing?" Cody asks.
Gwen rubs her arm. "Well.. he's off his meds."
"And he has OCD, yeah? That would explain the obsession.." Cody taps his chin.
"But I can't do anything about that. They won't let him have his meds, and even if they did, he's already been a complete asshole to me and my friends. How much longer can I excuse this kind of behavior?"
"He's looking this way." Cody points out, pointing at a glaring Trent from in front of them. Gwen sighs, shooting Trent a look of 'please stop.' "I gotta go. Please heed by your own warning and dump him." He then slows down to catch up to Harold. Gwen looks away from Trent's gaze.
"Where's LeShawna?" Cody asks Harold.
"She went to go talk to Trent after he gave you the evil eye." Harold answers.
Up ahead, LeShawna tugs on Trent's shirt collar, surprising him. "LeShawna? Oh hey. What's going on?"
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm worried more about you, dude." LeShawna greets, poking him in the arm. He rolls his eyes.
"Oh, not you too."
"Look, Trent, everybody's worried. It ain't just me."
"That so?"
"It is."
Trent sighs. "Well, my relationship with Gwen is nobody's business. It's my decision to stay with her after she cheated on me. If people wanna see me as a loser for that or whatever, that's their business. We're both cheaters, okay? No harm done. No foul. I'm not mad."
LeShawna looks creeped out. "That's… not really what I'm talking about here. Nobody's bothered by you taking Gwen back or forgiving her, 'cause you'd be a hypocrite if you didn't. I, and everyone else here really, sees this nasty change in behavior you're exhibiting and we're frankly kinda freaked out."
"Well yeah, I'm off my meds." Trent explains.
"Gwen told me. But is that really an excuse for assaulting folk?" LeShawna grills him. Trent has no response, but eventually takes a breath in.
"What's your point?"
"My point is that you're not here to fight alone. I'm your friend, Gwen's your friend-"
"She kissed another man, though. Of course I'm gonna be scared and possessive." Trent raises his voice, but not his volume.
LeShawna stops him, as some of the other campers are beginning to stare. "Well don't be. That girl loves you. I mean that."
"I've never heard those words come out of her mouth." Trent mumbles, looking toward the floor to avoid eye contact.
"Then tell her. Today. But don't make things any worse for yourself before you do." LeShawna advises. Trent smiles softly.
"...Okay. Okay, I will. Thank you, LeShawna." Trent wraps his arms around his friend's back, hugging her tightly. LeShawna doesn't reply, but does lock eyes with Gwen. LeShawna gives her a thumbs up. Justin passes by them with a hum.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Trent talking with the enemy team.. I've got my eyes on that handsome scoundrel. Here's hoping he doesn't realize his full potential anytime soon. I'm hoping to work with him after the show, and hey, maybe even during it if he ends up becoming useful."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"LeShawna is such a good friend. I hope from now on, whatever was said between her and Trent, things are back to the way they were before last week."
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"I've done my part. Now it's up to Trent. Don't fuck this up."
(Confessional end)
Beth walks with Lindsay, forming a multicolored friendship bracelet as her bestie and Tyler watch her. "Ooh, this one's so pretty!" Lindsay compliments, pointing to a pink, green and blue bracelet on Beth's wrist. Beth flexes it in front of her friends.
"I know, right?"
Justin walks past Beth, catching her so off guard she gasps before biting her bottom lip. Lindsay clasps her hands together, fawning over him as well. Tyler, frustrated, opens his mouth to speak, but Justin manages to get his words out first. "Wow, that really is pretty, Beth. Almost as pretty as its creator." He winks at her, pointing at her suggestively before walking ahead. Beth sighs dreamily. Lindsay doesn't look as pleased, yanking Tyler by the hand to whisper in his ear.
"Ugh, what's wrong with her? She's totally cramping my style in front of Justin!"
"I'm literally your boyfriend! Why do you care?!" Tyler yells.
"Oh, right.. Well it's just that, if Justin finds me attractive, that would make me like, objectionally the sexiest woman alive, don't you think so?" Lindsay asks.
"I already think you are, though!" Tyler growls.
"Yeah, yeah, cool!" Lindsay chirps. Tyler practically foams at the mouth in anger before completely deflating with a groan. Beth's hand offers him a wristband.
"Friendship bracelet?"
"Hey, Beth?" Justin calls. Before Tyler can accept his bracelet, Beth speeds toward Justin.
"Y-y-y-yes, Justin?"
Justin has a sensitive look on his face. "I'm worried about Owen. He seems really sad after Captain Crazy got booted off last episode."
"Y-yeah, no kidding. If you went home, I'd be devastated!" Beth pulls on his arm, her palms sweaty and wet. He pushes her off gently.
"Same, same.. Would you mind making an extra special friendship bracelet for Owen? Tell him it's from me." Justin leans in closer to her ear, whispering, "I'll even bless it with a kiss."
Beth gets so hot that she has to fan herself off. "O-okay! E-extra special, blessed with a kiss… got it!"
(Confessional: Beth)
"Brady, it's nothing personal, you just have to fight WAY harder for me now. We're not off, just… you may have to fight Justin to the death for me. Ooh, ahaha, two hot and sexy boys fighting over me? It really IS hot in here."
(Confessional end)
Heather passes Harold as they arrive at stage one, a big, black building with a rectangular shape and a massive garage door. That door is closed, there's a door to the side that's open. Harold checks out Heather, specifically her rear end. "You look gorgeous in your swimsuit, Heather…"
"Really? That's so… obvious! Like I didn't know that already, freak." She walks away fast, hiding her blushing face with one arm blocking Harold's view of it. He frowns, but doesn't seem to pity himself at all.
Inside of Stage One, the contestants are shivering while the projection of a beachside view displays behind them. Chris is wearing a fur coat, mittens and a pair of massive boots. The temperature in this room is so cold that there are icicles hanging from the lights and cameras set up. Also behind the campers is a massive above ground swimming pool, complete with a ladder and diving board, which also sports spiky icicles and a hatch door at its base. On top of the pool is a surfboard, the same one Chris was carrying around earlier. There are massive fans pointed at the contestants, spinning at full blast, while Chef, also bundled up in a scarf and beanie, stands by a console.
Lindsay tries to apply sunscreen, her teeth chattering. "S-since when did they move the beach to Antarctica?"
"As some of you can see, we're actually in a shooting studio." Chris answers.
"I thought you said it was gonna be a scorcher!" Owen points out.
"I did. Scorcher doesn't HAVE to mean hot. It's anything extreme or remarkable. And it's remarkably chilly in here." The host says.
"And the A/C is cranked up because…?" Duncan questions, equally as uncomfortable as the rest of his castmates.
"All the cameras and lights get so hot, they could melt Chef's heart." Chris explains.
Chef waves with a big, sappy smile on his face.
"Plus, the network told my agents that 'sweaty' wasn't a good look for me," The host adds. "Now, onto your challenge: hang ten on this deck over the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup."
"What did you just say to me?!" LeShawna defensively questions.
"It's surfer lingo. He means that we have to hang over the pool on the surfboard without falling off." Tyler explains.
"Thank you, Tyler." Chris says.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"I may not be very smart, or gifted, or pretty, but I know a thing or two about sports. I'm gonna rule this challenge!"
(Confessional end)
"As an added challenge, because let's face it, surfing movies are dead for a reason.. You'll be balancing your boogie board over shark infested waters."
"What is your fascination with sharks?" Heather asks.
"They're toothy, scary, deadly, I dunno. What do you have against them?" Chris quizzes.
"Living, clearly." Heather replies, rolling her eyes.
"Relax, they're well trained. They won't actually kill you." Chris says.
As soon as he says that, a shark jumps up and licks its lips at the cast before kissing at them. Harold, terrified, jumps into Heather's arms. She drops him on the spot, folding her arms.
"All you have to do to earn a point for your team is to stay on the board for exactly twenty seconds. It's that easy. Whichever team has the most amount of points, will gain an advantage in the second part of the challenge, AND will potentially be winning a reward today: a party by the beach, with full catering courtesy of Bed'N'Breakfast Catering Company, and a one night stay in a lofty cabin." Chris explains.
The teams mutter amongst themselves, more confident in winning the challenge for the sake of that reward now.
"So today isn't an elimination challenge?"
"Nope!"
"Woo.." Heather sighs, wiping sweat from her forehead.
"That's too bad." LeShawna tells Gwen, who chuckles at her joke.
"Killer Grips, because you lost the last challenge, you're up first."
"Don't worry, guys, I got this." Trent says, holding his hand up.
(Confessional: Trent)
"I've been a real piece of shit the last few days. I gotta make it up to everyone, especially my team. Then after this, I'll tell Gwen how I feel and squish this crazy beef between us." He grabs his necklace. "One, two, three-"
(Confessional end)
His team watches as he approaches the ladder and climbs up it before jumping on the board. Chris runs to stand with Chef, taking out his phone while holding his hand up to it. "On your mark.. Get set.. Action!"
Beep!
The timer on Chris' phone starts. Chef grabs a lever and pulls it, the surfboard begins to rock back and forth. Trent grins, pulling off a few snazzy poses while winking at his team. The sharks hungrily watch him as his team cheers him on. Trent finger-guns Gwen, and she smiles and waves back. With all the confidence in the world, Trent focuses intensely on his balance.
"Go, Trent! Knock 'em dead!" Justin cheers.
"Woohoo! That's my buddy! Kill it, Trent!" Owen parrots.
Beep, beep, beep!
Trent jumps off the board, fist bumping Owen before receiving a hug from him.
"And that's one point for the Grips!" Chris exclaims.
"That was amazing! Me next, me next!" Tyler yells, high fiving Trent.
"Go for it, dude." Trent says.
"This should be good." Justin whispers to Lindsay. She nods absentmindedly.
"Tyler's so good at sports! He tells me all the time." She replies.
Tyler climbs the ladder and jumps on the board, rocking it immediately. "Woah, haha.. Extreme! Turn it on, Chef!" Tyler pumps his fist in the air with a smile. Chris presses his timer and Chef yanks the lever.
Tyler tries to keep his balance, but seems to be rocked just as hard as the surfboard. "Woah.. ah- woah! H-hey, not too rough! Trent, h-how did you control this thing?!"
"You don't! Match the board, bro!" Trent yells.
Tyler tries to match the board's movement just as it shifts from left to right, and in response he's rocked off of the board into the pool. Lindsay gasps. "Oh my gosh! Tyler!"
He climbs out of the pool as fast as he can, falling on his stomach as a shark bites the side of the pool and covers him in water, growling at him from the new hole formed. Tyler shifts and crawls away into Beth's leg, hugging her while heavily breathing.
"Holy crap!" Beth shouts.
"See? Told you they wouldn't try to kill ya." Chris chuckles, wiping a tear from his eye. "Who's next?"
Surfing music plays as Lindsay stands on the board, showing off her curves and body before Chef has started the board.
"You can do this, Lindsay! You're incredible, baby!"
"Yeah, Lindsay, take it from Tyler! He's been watching other people be great at sports for his entire life!"
"I'll kill you!" Tyler shouts, running toward Justin. The model shrieks, running away from him. Lindsay watches as Chef yanks the lever.
"Ooh, they're fighting over- ah- ah!" Without paying attention to the board's movement, Lindsay plants herself directly in the water. Tyler stops, turning after hearing her screams.
"LINDSAY!" He reaches out for her, only to receive a kick in the nuts from Justin, sending him to the floor with his hands over his privates. Justin sprints to the pool, grabs a lifesaver on the way and throws it into the water tied to a rope, yanking Lindsay out of a shark's mouth before it could chew down on her. She lands directly on Justin, blushing furiously.
"Oh, Justin! You're my hero!" She wraps her arms around Justin's neck and buries her head in his shoulder.
"Oh, please, Lindsay.. Saving you is my pleasure." He sensually whispers. The sharks behind Lindsay whimper, hearts in their eyes. Tyler stands up, dusts himself off and freezes as he watches the two hug and shiver.
"It's so over…" Tyler mutters. Heather notices Lindsay and Justin, however.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"I failed to win a point for my team. I failed to save my girlfriend. I fail at everything I do. Why am I even still here? Lord.. I mean, I'm the biggest loser in the game. Justin… he deserves Lindsay."
(Confessional: Justin)
"Well.. that opportunity fell into my lap. First he becomes less attractive by chasing me down like some kind of maniac, then I become more attractive to her by saving her life? If Lindsay wasn't head over heels for me before, she sure is now."
(Confessional: Heather)
"Last season, Justin was easily my biggest adversary. My smartest move was to squash him out early. Thankfully, we're not on the same team this time, so as long as he doesn't make merge, I think I'll be safe. Then again, the likelihood of me making merge is also kinda low.."
(Confessional end)
"That's still only one point, Grips. Who's next?" Chris questions from the sidelines.
"I'll go!" Beth says, raising her hand.
(Confessional: Beth)
"It's worth getting eaten by hungry, bloodthirsty sharks if it means I get to be in Justin's arms like Lindsay did.. Besides, Owen would have totally broken the board."
(Confessional: Owen)
"I'm glad Beth went over me. I would have totally broken the board."
(Confessional end)
Beth stands on the surfboard, her face tough as she stands like a real surfer. Lindsay, clinging to Justin, gets a mean glare from her supposed best friend. Justin finger-bangs her, smirking.
Beep!
The board rocks. Beth becomes distracted immediately, her balance put off. She swats the air, desperately trying to remain on the board as one of her legs lifts up. Her team gasps. A shark jumps up and nearly bites her leg off, but she jumps away just in time and staggers herself back to an upright position, planting both of her feet on the board to hold out for the rest of her time on the board.
Beep, beep, beep!
The board stops, with Beth still standing. She jumps up and down excitedly, while the rest of her team cheers her on. "And Beth scores point number two for her team. Nice!" Chris announces.
"Wow, Beth.. where did you learn to do that?" Owen asks.
Beth smiles at the question. "Back at the barn, I ride horsies all the time! My horse, Mrs. Butterscotch, and her husband, Larry, taught me everything I needed to know about riding powerful things."
"Is that so?~" Justin flirts, his arms stretching behind his head. Beth faints, falling directly into the pool of water. The sharks throw her out, hissing at her.
We cut to Justin standing on the board majestically, his muscles exposed to the frigid air, his brown nipples erect gloriously. Lindsay and Beth gasp, fawning over him. Owen seems a bit too depressed to care. Justin seems to notice, but keeps his cool.
"Yay! Go Justin!" Lindsay cheers. Justin waves at her.
"Y-Yeah, go!" Beth parrots. Lindsay huffs.
"Copy-cat."
"Tanorexic."
They both gasp for different reasons.
"I'm so sorry! Friendship bracelet?" Beth offers her a bracelet clearly designed for Lindsay, but the sound of the board beginning to rock distracts them both from resolution. Justin flips his hair, easily balancing on the board. The sharks have hearts in their eyes and make no effort to throw him off balance. Even Chris is entranced.
"So beautiful… almost makes me feel the inherent goodness of the human race…" Then he snaps out of his trance and drags a gatling gun filled with seagulls in front of him, grabbing the trigger. The cast go wide eyed, aside from Justin, who hasn't noticed.
"Justin!" Beth yells.
(Confessional: Beth)
"I wanted to tell him that he looked like an angel. But instead I said-"
(Confessional end)
"Your face! Protect your gorgeous face!" She finishes.
Justin spots the seagull too late, it flies at him, and then another one, and another one, and another one. He shields himself with his arms, and the sharks even jump up to eat some seagulls as they come, but his legs are walking further and further back to the edge of the surfboard. He teeters at the backside of the board, about to fall.
"Almost there…" Chris mutters, looking at his phone.
Beep, beep, beep!
A seagull hits him in the stomach, sending him into the water. "Justin makes it! But is he even alive to celebrate?" Chris wonders. Then Justin, as well as the two sharks inside the pool, come out to the surface, where they perform CPR on him until he coughs up the water in his lungs and blinks awake. Lindsay and Beth run up to him.
"Ohmygosh, Justin, are you ok-!"
The sharks push Beth and Lindsay back as Beth tries to talk, hugging Justin amorously. He looks somewhat scared.
"Love's a beautiful thing." Chris says with a nod.
Finally, we cut to Owen, who is about to climb up the pool ladder. He looks nervous. Trent puts a hand over his back. "Hey, look, if you're scared of falling in, big guy, it's no issue. Nobody's gonna judge you."
"You mean that?" Owen asks.
"Well, look at the other team. You really think Duncan or Cody are gonna last long on this thing? We can afford to lose a few points. We already have three."
"Oh.. thanks, man. But I've made my decision.. I will climb the surfboard and score an additional point for my team!" Owen shoots a finger in the air before climbing up the ladder. He stares at the surfboard, swallowing nervously. Trent looks even more apprehensive now, as well as the rest of his team.
(Confessional: Owen)
"Trent believes in me. He's really going through it right now, and I decided I couldn't let him down."
(Confessional end)
Owen stands up on the diving board. Even the sharks are watching in anticipation now. He takes a deep breath in, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath out and opens his eyes before finally making a jump onto the surfboard. It rocks, and shakes… but it does not break. Owen chuckles. "It.. it didn't break. It didn't break! Yes!" He punches his stomach, his folds shaking in response. Chris looks at Chef and nods, so the cook pulls the lever.
Beep!
Nothing. The surfboard fails to move due to Owen's size. "Ha! I'm big, but not TOO big! Could this be because I haven't been eating much these past few days?"
"Oh my god.. That must be it! The smallest change in Owen's diet made him LOSE weight." Beth exclaims.
"That's all it took? Seriously?" Gwen questions.
"Well, I guess Owen's not going anywhere.. The Killer Grips score another point." Chris announces. The team cheers, now at four points. Owen bows to them like a showman when the curtain falls. Chris walks up to the Gaffers.
"Screaming Gaffers, time to show me if you have what it takes to beat that score." The team looks between each other. Suddenly, a whistle blows, startling them. "Break time! Union rules."
"Finally." Heather groans.
"Not for you." Chris objects, glaring at her.
The sharks from earlier sit on lawn chairs with face masks on while sipping tea. Harold stands on the surfboard with a confident smirk. "No sharks, no problem! Time to boogie down!" He strikes a surfers pose while Chris stands behind the seagull machine gun.
"No problem? Really? " Chris laughs as the gatling gun begins to spin.
Beep!
Chef pulls the lever and the board begins to shake. In a matter of seconds, Harold is pelted with seagulls as he screams as high pitched as possible, his body falling into the water immediately.
(Confessional: Harold)
"Anymore of a harsher impact and my butt would have been thoroughly bruised, or worse, scratched. I couldn't have risked that. Imagine what LeShawna and Heather would think! These cheeks are my biggest ASSets. Haha! That's pretty good."
(Confessional end)
Harold skitters away from the pool, rubbing his rear in pain. "My booty and I are out.."
"Your BOOTY has an opinion?" LeShawna questions.
"That's a big job for such a saggy, sad little thing." Heather insults.
"I'll have you know that this was a selfless defeat. My lady fans would mourn it if I damaged it trying to balance any harder." Harold explains.
"And by lady fans, he means his mother." Heather argues.
We cut to the next surfer, Heather.
Beep!
She starts by doing a decently good job at remaining on the rickety board while dodging the occasional seagull. Harold claps for her while the rest of her team seems less than enthused. "Go, Heather, crush it in style!" Harold yells.
"I'm working on it!" Heather shouts back.
"Try your best!" DJ cheers.
"Yes, indeed. Interns? It's time to earn your letters of recommendation!" Chris snaps his fingers. Out come two skinny girls dashing toward one of the giant fans. They turn it on to a much higher level, the wind pushing Heather. She tries to fight the current of gust, but she's not strong enough and ends up careening into the pool. She emerges, shivering, holding herself.
"I… Hate… this… f-freaking show."
Up next is DJ. He starts off decent, though a bit nervous hovering over a body of water. Then the wind starts slapping his face, hard. He manages to stay in place, due to his incredibly strong and heavy body.
"Come on, brickhouse, make us proud!" Duncan yells.
"You can do this, DJ!" Gwen adds.
"We need this point, DJ!" LeShawna shouts.
"I'm… trying…!" DJ struggles, fighting the wind, until finally…
Beep, beep, beep!
RIIIIPP!
DJ's swim trunks are ripped off before the contestants' eyes, much to the drop of their jaws. He looks down and shrieks before jumping off the board and running away hiding his junk. Chef leans past the console. "Your body's a beautiful thing, you don't need a suit!" But it falls on deaf ears, as DJ just runs away.
"And DJ scores the first point for his team, and the first point for DJ's lady fans." Chris states. "Next!"
(Confessional: Cody)
"Look, I've played enough motion control games to be pretty excellent at this kinda thing. I knew I had this challenge in the bag."
(Confessional end)
Despite the harsh winds and barrage of seagulls, Cody is able to maintain his cool, stay low to dodge the gulls and keep his balance all the way to the triple beep. His team cheers, while the Grips are starting to look more concerned.
"That's a three pointer! The Gaffers only need two more points to overthrow the Grips. Can they manage it?" Chris questions. Gwen steps up to bat to answer that question, standing in uncertainty on the board.
"You can do it, babe!" Trent yells, his voice shaky. Gwen smiles at him.
Beep.
The goth girl nearly trips off her board, but remains on it, one foot hovering as she attempts to stay balanced. Chris grabs the seagull machine gun and chuckles. "Time for the fun part!"
"Gwen, duck!" Cody yells. Gwen does as warned and avoids the gulls.
"Oh, interns!" Chris sing-songs. The two girls run back out and flip the switches once more, the fans erupting in powerful whirlwinds. Gwen stomps her foot down, dodging a few seagulls while her entire body is forced into one direction.
"Keep your footing, Gwen! Don't give up!"
"Don't forget to duck!"
"But don't lock your knees!"
"But make sure to avoid getting hit! Oh, and-"
"AND push against the wind, not with it!"
"Both of you shut up. Just ignore them and focus, dude." Duncan cuts in, yelling at Gwen louder than both of them.
"Yeah, whose team are you on?" Beth questions.
"Sorry." Trent replies, smiling as he scratches the back of his neck.
Beep, beep, beep!
After quite the struggle, Gwen stops, crashing onto her knees with a sharp inhale of air. "Ah… ah… I did it."
"That's another point for the Gaffers! All they need now is one more point to conquer the Grips!" Chris declares. Gwen jumps off of the board and walks up to Duncan.
"Thanks for the assist."
"Well, I didn't want us to lose."
They fist bump, then hug. Trent twitches, but makes sure to slap himself so he remains impartial, grabbing his necklace before shaking it nine times. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine!"
Owen watches, concerned. "Um… You okay, dude?"
"Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Trent stammers.
"What's with the counting?" Owen asks.
"Nine's my lucky number. I just need a break. I'm gonna take a leak, cool?"
"Sure.." Owen mutters, narrowing his eyes as his friends awkwardly leaves, still playing with the necklace.
LeShawna walks up to her team. "Alright, we only need one more point. I was thinking I could go next."
"I think that's a good idea, considering when Owen went, his weigh-…" LeShawna gives Cody a death glare. "...G-go ahead, hehe!" He smiles innocently. LeShawna rolls her eyes, heading for the ladder.
As she stands on the surfboard, arms spread out and legs firmly on the board's length, she gains a determined look on her face, furrowing her eyebrows at the cast. The fan turns on, the green screen turning from beachside view to tornado storm in Kansas. Dazzled, she struggles to maintain her balance. Chris nods at Chef, who pulls the letter.
Beep!
"Woah- woah!" She struggles, flailing her arms to keep herself centered.
"You can do this, my luscious LeShawna!" Harold calls out. "Focus your energy, try to imagine someone you really hate wants you to lose."
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"I don't hate him, but that asshole who texted me over the weekend was so damn shallow, boring and shitty. You know, in hindsight, I was kinda stupid letting such a good looking guy walk out on me. At the same time, he had it coming with what a dry jerk he was. That's who I imagined flying at me."
(Confessional end)
Chris fires the seagulls at LeShawna. She grits her teeth and howls like a bloody warrior as she swats, punches and headbutts every seagull coming her way, all while staying on the struggling board.
Beep, beep, beep!
Harold fawns over her as she jumps down with a bow, her entire team cheering her on as Chris claps for her. "LeShawna takes it for the Gaffers! They've earned a point, and an advantage in the second challenge!"
"That was amazing, my bodacious, bootylicious beauty." Harold muses.
"Relax with all that, Harold. And thank you. You really helped me out." LeShawna praises, patting him on the shoulder. He flutters his eyelashes at her like a schoolgirl, giggling behind his mouth.
Now fully clothed, the thirteen remaining campers all stand outside the film lot while Chris stands in front of them, wearing the Hawaiian shirt/shorts combo he wore at breakfast. "After everything I've said, you people are still coming to the beach in your street clothes, eh?"
"Like we believe you're gonna take us to an actual beach." LeShawna replies.
"Yeah, if anything you're taking us to a green room with a kiddie pool next door to it." Trent says.
"Suit yourselves." Chris shrugs. The sound of a loud engine chugging towards the group alerts the host and his contestants. "Here comes the bus!" Said bus is yellow, rusty, and looks abandoned. "Special thanks to Greener Pastures Elementary for lending us this bus after it crashed into the local hippo exhibit."
The doors slide open, revealing Chef as the driver. DJ walks up to the front, turning to Chris. "No hippos were harmed with this vehicle though, right?"
"Oh no, not at all. If anything, the hippos harmed this baby. It's real easy breaking into this thing. Or.. so I hear." Chris looks away suspiciously.
Beth runs in front of the crowd, putting a hand in front of DJ. "Wait! Before you guys get on, I made you all friendship bracelets."
"For real?" LeShawna questions, surprised.
"Aw boy.." Cody mumbles, sighing.
"Aww, thanks, bestie! I totally forgive you for the tanorexic crack now!" Lindsay chirps, running up behind DJ as he accepts his bracelet. Beth smiles from ear-to-ear.
(Confessional: Beth)
"I really didn't mean to go off on Lindsay like that. Justin just makes me feel so much… in so many ways..~"
(Confessional end)
"...A green bracelet for Duncan's green mohawk," Beth hands Duncan a bracelet, which he reluctantly puts on over his wrist before entering the bus. "A red one for Tyler's fiery red determination," Tyler snatches the bracelet and puts it in his pocket as he heads inside. "And a black one for Heather to represent her evil heart!" Heather rolls her eyes while everyone but Harold inside the bus cackles at her. She shoves past Beth and sits in the very back, next to her biggest fan. Harold smiles at her, but she simply turns away from him.
Owen approaches next, so Beth pulls out the orange bracelet she made especially for him. "And a super special one for Owen, f-from Justin!"
Owen takes it, eyeing it. "Justin asked you to make this for me?"
Beth swings her arms in front of her face. "No, no! He made it. I'm just the distributor!"
Owen turns around to see Justin smiling back at him. "Wow… you must really care about our relationship to go through the trouble of knowing my favorite color is orange!"
Justin's eyebrows shoot up. "Orange? Oh, right, of course. We should talk later, man. I'm always gonna be here for you." He wraps an arm around Owen's shoulders, his big body melting into the model's weight.
"Mm… Okay.." Owen giggles, prancing onto the bus merrily.
As Justin approaches the bus, the final person to get on, Beth gets flustered, cheeks red and skin pale. "Whatcha got there, Beth?" He points at her arms, which both reflexively curve into her chest to avoid his sight.
"Uh- uh… a whole lotta car sickness! I'll blow chunks if I don't get a window seat! Barf, barf, barf!" She pretends to puke as she nervously backs into the bus, perplexing Justin. He slowly walks into the bus behind her while she forces herself into a seat next to Lindsay. He sits next to Owen, winking at him as he does. The doors close and the bus begins to run.
"All passengers remain seated, because like any good bus transporting minors, we don't have working seat belts." Chris declares, looking back at them from his front row seat. He then turns to Chef. "You think I'd make a good teacher in another life?"
Chef growls, ignoring him and keeping his eyes on the road.
Trent sits next to Tyler, tapping his foot against the floor as Duncan and Gwen, who are both sitting next to each other, laugh together. He can't help but let out a miserable sigh. "Tyler?"
"Huh? Yeah?" Tyler asks, looking miserably up at Trent.
"Woah! You okay, man?" Trent asks.
"Not really. My girl thinks I'm a loser, and I nearly got her killed. But I've already resolved that issue. Don't worry about it." Tyler scratches the back of his head.
"Oh… okay. Well, can I vent to you real quick?" Trent asks.
"We're sitting right next to each other, and there aren't any vents here."
"I mean can I talk to you?"
"Weren't we already doing that?"
"Nevermind. Just listen, okay?"
"I'm listening."
Trent starts. "Even after realizing that I was crashing out way too hard against Gwen's guy friends after the whole kissing Geoff incident, I still can't help but feel nothing but jealousy and contempt for her and Duncan whenever they interact positively. I hate this feeling, I just wanna tear my stomach open, rip it out and stomp this feeling out. What can I do?"
Tyler slides toward his emo friend. "Look, Trent, between you and me, if you want Gwen to respect you and dig you, you gotta become a winner. Chicks just don't fall for losers like they do in the movies."
"What do you mean? Are you calling me a loser?" Trent gets in his face, eyebrows furrowed, fist slamming into palm. Tyler doesn't flinch.
"Yes. You didn't make final four like Duncan did last season, and your team lost last episode. Face it dude, the both of us," He points his finger at himself and his friend, "we're losing to winners."
Trent backs off. "...Huh. You really think that's why her and Duncan get along that well?"
"I mean hey, you cheated with a winner, too. Heather made final three last season and won the last challenge. Winners win. I don't make the rules, bruh." The jock falls back in his seat, arms crossed.
Trent smiles determinedly. "You know what Tyler, that might just be the smartest thing you've said all season."
Tyler blinks at him, unsure. "...Thanks?"
(Confessional: Tyler)
"Was that good advice? Trent's a smart guy, he probably knows best. You think I should have ended all of my sentences with 'but that's just my opinion' just in case?"
(Confessional: Trent)
"Oh my god, of course! Think about it: Geoff made the final six, and I barely made it to merge. If Gwen sees those guys as driven and successful and that's what she finds attractive about them, then I don't have to punch down to their level, I have to rise above them and show her that I'm a winner!"
(Confessional end)
Chris walks on screen, his sandals clapping against the sand. "Welcome back to your old stomping grounds… Total!
Drama!
Island!"
We're back on Wawanakwa. The Action contestants stand behind Chris before he turns around to look at them. "Thanks to your old pal The Boat of Losers, we were able to transport the bus all the way to the island. You're welcome, by the way."
"Genuinely, what was the point?" Gwen asks.
Chef leans over the goth, eyebrows furrowed seriously. "Didn't you hear Chris?! The bus could get hijacked! I ain't risking that. I stole it first, so it belongs to me. Understand?" He steps back. Gwen looks at Trent with worried confusion. He shares the expression.
Chris claps his hands together. "Now, before I explain your challenge, would anybody like to take a second to reminisce on the good times you had on the island?"
A long pause follows. Then laughter. From everyone . Including Owen, Beth and Lindsay. Chris frowns, folding his arms. "Fine, I'll skip the happy memories montage. For your challenge, Grips and Gaffers, you'll be constructing prop sandcastles."
"A sandcastle building contest? Nice." Justin says, nodding his head.
"My skin gets really crispy in the sun, so when I'm at the beach, sandcastles are my game!" Harold points at himself proudly. Duncan grins and kicks sand at his calves. Harold grimaces and gets in his face. "What's your problem?"
"You make it too easy sometimes." Duncan says with a shrug and gritted teeth..
(Confessional: Duncan)
"You wanna know what my problem is? Let me give you a hint: she's about yay tall, has beautiful brown hair, and can tear you limb from limb. No, it's not a bear. It's Courtney. Harold got her unfairly booted last season, and as a result, she spiraled out of control. It's his fault we're all broken up. Maybe if she stayed on the show longer we could have come to a better understanding.. But no. That dork still has a LOT more to pay off, knife breaking aside."
(Confessional end)
Chris clears his throat, getting Duncan and Harold's glaring attention off of each other. "Ahem… I'll be the judge of this competit', seeing how I once starred in a beach babe movie."
"You starred in a movie?" Lindsay asks, confused.
"Yes, Lindsay. Yes I have. Ever heard of Bay-Side?"
"That crappy movie about talking sharks with the eye melting special effects? That was you? You were Terrance?" Cody questions, pointing at him with a grin on his face. Chris blushes, shaking his head.
"What would YOU know about good filmmaking?!"
"I have a film review channel. I have objectively better opinions than anyone else who watches films." He turns to Harold. "Get this, the main character's dad in the movie was hired by a homeless guy off the street. His acting was STILL better than the love interest and the talking shark."
The giggling returns. Chris stomps his foot in the sand. "You know what, Screaming Gaffers? If you don't want an advantage in the challenge, that's fine by me.'' The laughing quickly stops. "I was going to let you guys have a ten minute head start over the Grips, but since you think my leading role is SO funny, you can both start at the same time."
The Grips quickly begin cheering. Cody looks up at his angry team, twiddling his thumbs. "Ahaha.. Uh- whoops?"
"Idiot!" Heather screeches, shoving him to the ground with little effort.
Chris lifts his arm up with an airhorn in hand. "Whoever builds the best sandcastle after an hour of building wins the challenge. If the Grips win, we'll go to round three. If the Gaffers win, they win the reward and their humility back. Ready? Go!"
Hoooonk!
Trent hits his open palm. "Alright, game plan: As team leader, I'll take over as architect for this job. Does anyone have a pen and pad?"
Beth raises her hand, jumping up and down. "Ooh, me! I got a new one for my sweet sixteen from Birtha!"
"Your… pig?" Lindsay asks.
Beth nods. "Isn't she the sweetest?"
Trent starts, "Alright, right down everything I say: we're building a nine inch exterior, nine inch interior, with nine motes, nine rooms, nine flags and-"
"Nine windows?" Beth guesses worriedly.
Trent nods, his smile eerie. The team looks between each other suspiciously as Beth slowly writes out his plan. "Um… Trent, doesn't that all sound kinda unstable? Nine is way too big of a number for how small you want this thing to be."
"Nine is this team's lucky number." Trent explains.
"Why?" Owen asks.
"Don't question it, dude. Just follow my lead. I know what I'm doing." Trent says, determination in his eyes.
Beth worriedly begins to object. "But-"
Tyler puts his hand over her mouth. "Trent's the QB. Trust his word. If we don't have faith in our leader, can we even consider ourselves a team?"
"Thank you, Tyler. Now everybody get to work." Trent demands.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Wow, look at little man Trent, stepping up, even I had goosebumps. And there wasn't a mirror for miles.."
(Confessional end)
Harold gets down on one knee and examines the plot they have to deal with. DJ gathers water in a bucket while Cody uses a ruler to measure the diameter of the build. Heather watches with uncertainty and LeShawna begins forming a mound of sand. "DJ, get us more water! LeShawna, pack it firmer."
LeShawna glares at him. "Who died and made you the boss?"
"I'm a bit of a Gehry buff." Harold replies. LeShawna raises a brow. "Frank Gehry? Greatest architect of our time?"
"And I care about this because…?"
Harold scoffs. "Because I studied his work? Gosh! Gwen doesn't know anything about architecture. That's why I'm headlining this thing. Have some faith, LeGorgeous."
DJ enters the conversation, pouring his bucket of water in the designated free space. "Speaking of Gwen.. where is she?"
"Ugh. And where is Duncan?!" Heather questions. The group all look around for any sight of the odd pair, to no avail.
Duncan and Gwen hide behind a tree, crouching low to avoid detection from two interns guarding the surrounding wooded area of the production trailer from season one, first discovered by the final four in 'Camp Castaways.' Gwen can't help but giggle behind her hand as Duncan scopes out the scene from his tree post. He turns back to face her, their bodies only a foot away from each other.
"Alright, the big dude's smoke break is up. He's heading back to guard the front. Should be able to get into the back through the window now." Duncan explains.
Gwen grins. "I can't believe we're actually doing this. You don't think the Gaffers are gonna be mad at us, right?"
"Who cares? It's a reward challenge. Nobody's going home even if we lose. Come on, before somebody sees." He gestures for her to follow him as he sneaks toward the back of the trailer. The two interns, one a tall Dominican guy, the other a skinny blonde white girl, talk to each other in hushed tones just as Duncan and Gwen do. She follows him.
Duncan stands up, pushing the window. Nothing. He pushes slightly harder, getting on his tippy toes to do so. Still nothing. Gwen can't help but chuckle. He turns to her with an amused smile. "What's so funny?"
Gwen takes a deep breath to stop herself laughing. "Uh, Mr. Tough Delinquent isn't tall enough OR strong enough to open a window."
Duncan smirks. "It's clearly locked. And I wasn't exactly born to play basketball."
"Well if it's locked, can you unlock it?"
"Gimme a stick and another twenty minutes."
"I'll do you one better. Boost me."
(Confessional: Gwen)
"Okay, I know it was screwed up for us to abandon the challenge, but come on, Duncan's right. It was a reward challenge. Nothing of consequence happened."
(Confessional: Duncan)
"Gwen is pretty cool. Can't do pranks with DJ unless there's a 'good reason to do them', LeShawna's the same way, Heather's a complete loser, Harold's a complete dork, Cody's a pansy and the other team has Owen on lockdown. She doesn't give a crap about the rules. I respect that."
(Confessional end)
Gwen hangs on Duncan's shoulder, her legs swinging over his arms as she uses a hairpin on the lock of the window. "Almost got it…" Gwen mutters.
"Where did you even get a hairclip?" Duncan asks, whispering.
"I keep one on me in case mom forgets her keys. But I brought it to the show in case anybody decided to lock me out of our cabins." Gwen answers, the clip sliding against the barely there lock.
"Smart. You about done up there? I can feel your ass on my shoulder." He asks, looking up. Gwen hums.
"If you were Cody, that would be a blessing."
"Ha!"
Shink!
Gwen pushes the window open, climbing inside. The interior is like an RV: a sink, counters next to it, a fridge, a stove, the door right in front of it all, a lounge area to the left and a dining area to the right, adjacent to a bathroom. Gwen hops onto the floor, triggering an alarm instantly. It beams loudly, a screeching noise greeting the ex campers. Duncan jumps up and climbs in, falling onto the floor in a panic. "Shit! Lock the door!"
Gwen reaches for the door and immediately locks it as the interns press themselves against it. "Gotcha!"
"Hey! Open up! Who's there?" The male asks frantically.
"We'll tell Mr. McLean on you!" The blonde yells, her voice squeaky and nasally.
"Quick, grab the good stuff!" Duncan orders, getting up to run to the fridge. Gwen runs in after him, opening her shirt to quickly file a tub of ice cream under it. Duncan does the same with a peanut butter jar, only to take another glance at the label.
"Enjoy a peanut butter-less life."
"Thanks. Enjoy prison."
"I will."
"Duncan! Come on, grab something!" Gwen waves her hand in front of his eyes. He blinks awake, shaking his head before stealing a box of pastries, unsure of what they are but not eager to hang around and find out.
"Go, go, out the window!" Duncan stammers, waiting for Gwen to hop through the window before doing the same with a pep in his step. The interns finally bust the door down, looking around for any sign of the no-gooders. Nothing.
Duncan and Gwen return to the challenge spot by the sea with their shirts now empty of food, hidden away somewhere else. Luckily, Chris is too busy tanning on his lawn chair to notice that they've only just returned. Heather, however, does notice, as she pats down the side of a large, government-esque sandcastle.
"Where the hell have you two been?!" Heather demands to know, standing up with her hands on her hips. The rest of the Gaffers look over at the pair with equal levels of skepticism. Cody raises a brow. Before Gwen can respond though…
"My bad. I took her to go and find my knife, since I didn't wanna get mauled by a bear. You saw how Cody got last season." Duncan interrupts. Gwen smiles at him.
Heather creases her eyes at him. "That's fishy. I don't trust that you'd forget your knife."
Gwen steps between them defiantly. "Well, he did, baldy. Don't you have better things to worry about?"
The baldy in question grins. "Actually, I sleep just fine, New Heather." Heather bitterly spits, walking away. Gwen glares at her, but her expression softens to one of shame as she looks away. LeShawna approaches Heather with an attitude.
"Now hold on just a second-"
"Everyone, bear witness to the Taj Ma-Harold!" Harold gestures to the sandcastle, a towering, completed beast of a castle, stacked with giant pillars and a full lawn.
(Confessional: Harold)
"Gwen can't be team captain for long. She's too unstable. Besides, I'm the one really leading this team. If I can just prove myself as a worthy leader, the team will totally agree. I don't dislike Gwen. Honestly, she's kind of attractive. Don't tell LeShawna, or Heather, OR GWEN!"
(Confessional: LeShawna)
"Heather using New Heather as a diss toward Gwen just rubs me the wrong way. How can you be so shameless in how awful you are that you're calling somebody else your given name? Lord have mercy.."
(Confessional end)
"Nine doors! Nine windows! Nine wicked jam rooms!" Trent shouts, laughing awkwardly. The Gaffers turn their heads to see what's going on. Trent, with bugged out eyes, watches as Beth, Lindsay, Owen and Tyler frantically try to keep up with his demands. The sandcastle they're building is shaggy, unstable and absolutely cluttered. Justin yanks on his shirt, tearing him away from the castle.
"Dude, stop at three, stop at five, j-just stop!"
"It can't support so much weight!" Owen agrees.
"Hahahaha! J-just one more..!" Trent reaches for a flag on the ground made of a hermit crab's shell with a Grip logo painted on it. He adds it to the top of the castle, making it sink and die practically instantly. The team groans, but Trent doesn't seem all that bothered. "Alright! Let's do it all over again!"
"Uh… how about we try something else?" Owen asks, twiddling with his thumbs.
"No! We need nine of everything!"
"What's this random obsession with the number nine?" Gwen questions.
"It's not random, actually. Dude does everything nine times when he's stressed out. I reckon it's because he's got OCD." Harold answers.
"Oh my god.. You're right! He used to pace nine steps, Owen even told me once that he had this count to nine tick to calm down.. It makes so much sense!" Gwen sits down on the sand and sighs. Duncan strokes his chin before gasping.
"Wait a minute… four letters in your name, five letters in Trent's, put 'em together and you get-"
Gwen gasps too. "Nine!? H-he can't be doing everything nine times JUST for me!"
"Honk, honk, honk!" A flock of seagulls appear out of nowhere, terrorizing the sandcastle. DJ runs up to the castle and tries swatting them away gently.
"My taj!" Harold screams, also running toward the castle.
"My reward!" LeShawna does the same. The rest of the team try in vain to get the birds off of the sandcastle, only for them to tear it completely apart. It falls to the floor, nothing but sand in water.
"Dang! They busted my buttresses." Harold laments, hanging his shoulders.
"Ten minutes left, campers! Don'tcha just miss TDI?"
"I'm still living it." Gwen replies behind gritted teeth.
"Yeah, but it's just not the SAME, Gwen!" Chris cheerily replies, finger banging her. She rolls her eyes.
The Grips notice the scuffle. Tyler laughs. "We can still win. We can still win! Okay, any ideas aside from nine of everything? Sorry, bro, it just wasn't stable."
Trent swallows, nodding nervously. "I-I guess it wasn't, uh.. Well, go on then, anyone?"
After a few seconds of thinking, Beth finally pops up. "Ooh, ooh, what if we use paper mache in magazine paper? I have some from the bus ride over, and tons of art supplies in my purse!"
"We can use some old magazines I don't read anymore too!" Lindsay exclaims.
"It's a sandcastle building contest, ladies." Justin says.
Beth chuckles. "No, silly.. It's a prop sandcastle building contest! Anything goes. Now, who's with me?" She puts her hand in the middle of her team.
"I'm in! Let's do it!" Owen yells, his hand slapped over hers. Lindsay, Tyler and Justin also agree, putting their hands in. Trent is the only one left.
"Fine. But only if you all say 'Killer Grips' nine times for good luck."
They sigh. "Killer Grips, Killer Grips, Killer Grips…"
(Confessional: Trent)
"I'm not doing this for the team, or for myself here. I'm doing this for Gwen! I've been focusing so hard on this challenge that I haven't had any time for thinking about Cody or Geoff or Duncan or DJ or whoever she's sleeping with, ya know? It can only be a good thing!"
(Confessional end)
A few minutes later, the Gaffers' have begun building a smaller, less impressive 24 Sussex replica. But the Grips have built an entire sandcastle out of paper mache, beads and magazine covers. It looks bigger and is way more creative. Chris walks in front of both teams.
"Time's up! Pencils down, junior artists." He orders. The teams stand up from their castles and step away. Chris leans down and inspects the Gaffers castle. "Yeah, this looks uh.. Half built?"
"We had to improvise.. My beautiful creation was destroyed by those blasted seagulls." Harold mutters, disappointed in himself.
"That's what we call Karma. Thank you, Cody." Chris states. Cody lowers his head and groans.
"Sorry, guys." He apologizes. Chris walks over to the Grips' sandcastle with a grin.
"Wow, look at that! It looks sandy, but not bland-y. Paper mache was a good choice." He gives a thumbs up. "And it doesn't look like a gasp of air will knock it down. Point, Killer Grips!"
The Grips celebrate, high fiving and cheering. Justin winks at Beth, who seems absolutely flustered.
"Looks like the tiebreaker will commence after all. Everyone go and get some firewood, and meet me back here within an hour. Sundown's soon." The host announces. The contestants begin to scatter into their own groups.
Walking in the woods all by himself is Owen. As he bends down to pick up a thick twig, he hears a whistle from behind. It's Duncan and DJ approaching him. "Crack is whack, buddy." Duncan yells.
"Owen, man! It's been forever since we've hung out!" DJ exclaims, happily holding out his hand for a dap. Owen reciprocates excitedly.
"Hey, guys! Oh I missed you so much! I wish Trent had put us all on the same team."
"Same here, dude.. Well, maybe not WITH Trent, but you get the idea." Duncan responds.
"We missed you too, dude. How goes it? Why are you alone?" DJ questions.
"Oh, uh.. Honestly I needed some alone time. But you guys can come with me and we can be alone together if you want!" Owen replies.
"Sure, that sounds good." DJ accepts, walking alongside Owen with Duncan.
"So.. if I may ask.. Why do you need alone time? You're like the most social guy I know." Duncan asks.
"Oh, well.. Ever since E-Scope got eliminated from the game without even saying a proper goodbye, I've just felt kinda.. Empty. Like I dunno how to feel. And now Justin keeps trying to make me feel better, and my feelings about him conflict with my feelings with Izz- E-Scope. And it's just so confusing." Owen explains, slowing his pace to a stop.
"Dude, just stay loyal to Izzy- I mean Kaleidoscope until you see her again. Nobody fucks with cheaters, you feel me?" DJ says.
"I'd never cheat on her! But it's just so hard to resist Justin, you know?" Owen says.
Duncan smirks. "Well then, let's talk about Izzy."
"E-Scope." Owen corrects him.
Duncan rolls his eyes. "Whatever. How was the rack?"
DJ slaps his shoulder. "Duncan!"
"What? Dudes frustrated. Let it out, big boy." Duncan staggers, regaining his balance to put an arm around Owen's shoulders.
"Oh, it's incredible, Duncan. Perky, and perfectly highlighted by the color of translucent maple syrup." Owen purrs.
Somewhat disturbed, DJ sucks in his teeth. Duncan laughs. "'Atta boy! What was your favorite part about being in bed with her?"
Blushing, Owen replies. "Oh, we never really got that far. The most we ever did was show each other our junks. But I did kiss her. I don't think I did a good job, though."
"Why's that?" DJ asks.
"She said I eat her face like a starving hyena, and she would know because she once lived with a pact." The big guy answers. Duncan can't help but laugh. DJ shakes his head.
"Dude, your girlfriend is crazy with a capital K. No offense." The gentle giant says.
"None taken! E-Scope's craziness is my favorite thing about her. One moment she can be scarfing down hotdogs without a problem, and the next she's hijacking some dude's car. She's crazy unpredictable. I've never met anybody like her before in my life." Owen explains, looking up at the dusk orange sky.
Duncan folds his arms. "You've met Courtney before. And Trent. They're crazy."
"Yeah, but Trent's diagnosed. E-Scope refuses to seek help 'cause she's perfect the way she is. I said that's a-okay with me." Owen replies, nudging his punk friend. Duncan laughs, while DJ chuckles. "How about you guys? Or- sorry, DJ-"
"No problem, dude. I don't really wanna talk about relationships anyways. You know, Chef and Momma and all." DJ says, scraping his sandal against the dirt.
"Yeah, sorry about that man. I hope they get divorced soon." Owen states innocently.
"Psht, you're not the only one…" DJ mutters.
"What about you, D-man?" Owen asks.
Duncan exhales. "Ah, well.. No babes over here, really."
"Your eye hasn't been wandering.. At all?" DJ questions, suspicion clearly in his voice.
"What are you talking about?" Duncan asks.
"You and Gwen. Duh." DJ replies.
Owen gasps. "But Gwen is dating Trent! You guys can't be together!"
Duncan defensively closes up. "Which is why we're just friends. That's how I see it anyways, and Gwen too if the Geoff incident has taught her anything. Sure, she's hot, but.. Come on, man, she's taken. I'm not like that."
"Awww, look at you, all monogamous." DJ teases, squeezing his cheek like a granny at a reunion. Duncan slaps his arm.
"Don't 'aww' me, big guy."
DJ releases, awkwardly stepping back now. "Actually, uh, Duncan.. About Courtney."
Duncan sighs. "Not you too. Bridgette probably already told her I'm a dickbag for defending Gwen about the whole Geoff thing, totally ignoring when Courtney tripped them up for some money."
"Well, we don't know about all that. But I just wanted you to know that I don't think she hates you. And I don't think you hate her."
Duncan takes a step back and turns around. "Well I don't. And I hope she doesn't either. But we'd never work out. She knows it, I know it, her student parents know it.. It was just puppy love."
DJ strokes his chin. "Hm.. that's not what I saw, man. All I'm saying."
"Yeah, you guys were all over each other! It was adorable." Owen agrees.
Duncan blushes, beginning to walk forward. "Can we change the subject, please?" And with that, the subject changes.
Gwen looks around through the woods.
"LeShawna?" She calls out.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"So I'm walking with LeShawna for this stupid firewood and sit down to shake some pebbles out of my boots. The next thing I know, she's gone. Ridiculous. I hate this freaking island."
(Confessional end)
"LeShawna..?" She calls out once more. Nothing. She jumps over a thornbush from a large rock and staggers against a tree. "LeShawna?"
"Gwen?" Trent's voice picks up, hitting her ears like a train. She feels her skin run cold as she turns to see him standing there in the middle of two trees with twigs in his arms. "You alright?"
(Confessional: Gwen)
"And then it happens: I'm stuck out here, alone in the woods with Trent. I hate stigmatizing mental disorders, it happens all the time in the media, and I do trust Trent, I think. So then why was I thinking, 'oh shit, he's going to have an episode and kill me in a rage'? What the fuck is this relationship?!"
(Confessional end)
"Are you all alone out here? Is that why you're calling for LeShawna?" Trent questions, walking closer. Gwen puts her arms up hastily.
"N-no, not alone! LeShawna's elsewhere, but Cody's totally following me like a p-puppy, you know? Weirdo, haha.." She looks around all shifty-eyed.
"You don't want him to follow you? I figured you'd enjoy the attention." Trent says.
"I don't!" Gwen frustratedly yells, catching both of them off guard. She takes in a deep breath as Trent drops nine sticks to the ground. She takes a few steps back, hitting a tree with her back. "I don't."
"Well then, where the fuck is he? He's fucking with the wrong woman." He cups his mouth with his hands, looking around the forest. "Cody! Get out here, you pervert. I'm gonna kick your ass!" He yells, his voice echoing.
"Wow, okay, um… guess he must have left.." Gwen awkwardly mutters, looking around for an escape.
"Yeah? Huh. Weird." Trent lowers his guard and walks closer to her. "So, uh.. Doesn't this remind you of anything?"
Gwen swallows. "Uh… what?"
"Like that time we had sex in the woods. It was magical. Like, really." He puts a hand on his hip, a few more steps closing the gap between them.
"Yeah… Um.. hey, you're not-"
"Mad? No, baby, I love you. I actually wanted to tell you, I.. I love you so much, Gwen. You're everything to me. If anybody ever took you from me.." His hand softly presses against her cheek, his face tilting down at her.
"I… See…"
"Aren't you going to say it back?"
"...I'm sorry." Gwen shifts, pulling away from him with a horrified look in her eyes.
"Wait, where are you going?" Trent asks, sorrow in his voice. "I won the challenge. Aren't you impressed?"
"Sorry Trent, I really gotta go!" Gwen sprints away, leaving him in the dust.
"Come back! Gwen! What- what is it? What am I doing wrong?!" He drops to his knees, closing his eyes as he grips the dirt beneath him. "Shit… D-did I fuck it up that time? Seriously, what more do I need to do? Win the reward? Hey, yeah.. If I beat the Gaffers again, and offer Gwen to join me in our party, she'll like me again! Yeah, she'll say she loves me, and we'll be okay again. That's all I need, I need her to say.. I love you too."
Fire sparks upward into the starry night sky at a bonfire back at the challenge location. Tiki dolls, tables full of food and a boombox decorate the background decor. The contestants have all returned, standing behind Chris as he adjusts his shirt collar.
"What did you need all this firewood for if you already had something set up?" Heather questions, annoyed.
"I needed some alone time." Chris responds. "Also, there was a bit of a dispute. Apparently, somebody broke into my trailer and stole some food. Not cool, dudes." He shakes his head. Duncan looks at Gwen with a small grin, but notices just how exhausted she looks. Instead, now he's worried. Cody notices it too, tugging on her arm.
"Hey, you alright, Gwen? I don't usually say this, but you look horrible." Cody asks.
"I… Yes. I'm fine." Gwen whispers back, softly smacking herself awake. Trent tightens his fist as he sees the two whispering to each other. Tyler pats him on the back.
"Be a winner." He whispers. Trent nods.
"Your final challenge consists of a good old fashioned dance off. These are always done to win the heart of the hippy chick with sweet boobs the main protagonist guy is trying to win over. Eh, Tyler?"
"Huh? I'm not a chick." Tyler replies, confused.
Chris sighs. "Nevermind. Justin?"
"Oh, I'm with you one hundred percent, Chris." The model replies, winking at Lindsay. She giggles at his gesture. Beth looks down, disheartened. Tyler just looks away, grimacing.
"Choose one contender for your dance off. Whoever has the best moves wins the reward, and the loser gets served. You have thirty seconds. Go!" The host steps away. Justin opens his mouth to volunteer himself for the Grips, but Trent's voice cuts in.
"I'll do it. I'm a singer. I have rhythm."
"Sure, but Justin is in a band too! He can dance!" Beth says.
"Was in a band, Beth, was. The Bottles of Love are all smashed. Or, was it 'we all smash?' Anyways, let Trent do it. He's musically gifted, after all." Justin replies.
"Knock 'em dead, buddy!" Owen exclaims. Trent cracks his knuckles, all nine of them, before walking forward.
"The Grips have decided on Trent!" Chris announces.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Truth is, if I lost against whoever the Gaffers chose, the heat would be on me, and I'd lose some rep with the ladies, and Owen's, of my team. I can't risk that. Even though, let's face it, the uggos on the Gaffers don't stand a chance against a beauty like me."
(Confessional end)
LeShawna raises her hand. "Ooh, let me do it! Back home they call me 'LeShaking it!'"
"Uh… is that such a good idea?" DJ questions.
"Why wouldn't it be?" LeShawna asks.
Heather sarcastically replies, "Oh, this should be a treat. Can't Harold do it or something?"
"Aw, come on, Heather, give LeShawna a chance! Or should I say a… dance? Ahaha! I crack myself up." Harold says with a smile.
"Any other objections?" LeShawna asks. Nobody replies. "Good. I'm going in." She walks forward, meeting Trent by the other side of the bonfire. Chris walks in front of the two.
"And the Gaffers choose LeShawna. Not sure why after last season but okay. Dancers, you ready?"
"Always." Trent states coldly.
"Prepare for a world of pain, son." LeShawna replies, challenging him as she leans forward.. Chris turns on the boombox, Miserlou by Dick Dales coming on at full blast.
Trent swings his arms front and backwards, bumping his shoulders, bobbing his neck, and shaking his head up and down to the music, appearing like a real rockstar. LeShawna… swings her arm in the air, shuffles in place and shakes her backside as she pumps the air with her fists. Duncan looks disgusted, Gwen looks horrified, Cody looks shocked, DJ holds back laughter, Heather doesn't, and Harold dances along.
(Confessional: DJ)
"Psht, yeah, I bet I know LeShawna's real nickname back home. LeBOMBa!"
(Confessional: Heather)
"Prima Balleri-no."
(Confessional: Harold)
"Two words! Fun-ky! What? I loved it!"
(Confessional end)
"Okay, okay, you can stop! We have a clear winner here." Chris turns the boombox off, stopping both dancers. "Trent has wiped the floor with the Gaffers, and served LeShawna, winning his team the party of a lifetime." He gestures proudly towards the Grips, who all begin cheering for Trent, lifting him up as if he's in a mosh pit. He barely celebrates himself, simply grinning while watching Gwen's reaction. She gives him a nervous smile, then rubs her arm awkwardly as she looks away.
"Let me down, guys?"
The Grips let Trent down. He walks toward the Gaffers and grabs Gwen by the chin, lifting her face up to look into his emerald eyes. She looks away. "Hey. Wanna spend some time partying tonight? It feels like years since we last got some alone time."
"Not so fast, Grohl," Chris intercepts, getting between the two sternly, glaring mainly at Gwen. "This one isn't going to ANY parties tonight."
"Wait, why?" Gwen asks.
"You think the interns whisper about their little love stories and how much they hate their jobs because they're respectful of mother nature? No, they whisper because we have cameras EVERYWHERE! Everywhere, Gwen. And you and Duncan were caught sneaking into MY production trailer together, stealing Chef's mom's chocolate chip cookies and my coffee ice cream. Again: Not. Cool." Chef walks up next to Chris as he finishes his explanation.
"My momma's cookies are delicious, you hear?! And you nearly violated them! Now, where did you hide them?"
"The cooler in the back of the bus." Gwen shamefully admits.
"Ah, man.." Duncan mutters, facepalming.
"Wait… Gwen and Duncan were alone together? What else did you catch?" Trent questions.
"Oh my fucking god." Gwen groans.
"Chef here has a very special punishment for you two, don't you, Chef?" Chris asks. Chef nods his head menacingly.
In the boathouse, Duncan and Gwen mop up different areas while looking down at the sorry state of the floor. "This sucks." Duncan says with a deep breath.
"Yeah, no kidding." Gwen responds.
"I'm sorry I got you caught up in this mess." He laments.
"Don't apologize! It was a lot of fun. Besides, I needed an escape."
He tilts his head at her. "From what?"
"Better question, what am I not trying to escape from? I'm back on the most humiliating TV show ever made, we have school due practically daily despite being miles away from a classroom, I think my boyfriend is dangerous and I'm not even sure if I want to be with him anymore, and worst of all I destroyed two friendships over a heat of the moment kiss. You're the only person here that I not only gel with really well, but who I also have zero baggage with. Even LeShawna is still friends with Trent. I just… I just have to thank you. I know it's cheesy and you're not the touchy-feely kinda guy, but it's been really refreshing hanging out with y-"
Shlap!
A greasy, floppy bass flops from Gwen's cheek to the floor, dancing around looking for water to breathe, marked by the symbol of last season's big losers - the Killer Bass. She touches her now cold cheek, slowly looking up from the Killer Bass branded fish to the green haired teen who threw it. He smirks, leaning against the wall. "Your move, Gwen."
"Pfft.. it is SO on!" Gwen grabs the fish by the tail, kicking her mop to the floor to run at him. He tries to get a running start, tripping over his mop with an 'oh shit!' as she closes the gap and launches at him, the fish jumps out of her hand into a hole in the floor that leads to the ocean. Now laying on top of Duncan, Gwen laughs, but slowly realizes where she is. Duncan does the same. The two of them quickly part.
"Ahem… ah.. Well, that was fun. Better clean the rest of this before Chef does another inspection." Duncan says, clearing his throat. Gwen stands up and fixes her hair.
"Oh for sure, for sure.. Yeah, I uh.. You owe me though, you totally greased up my cheek." Gwen teases.
"Psht, sure, pasty. Whatever you want." Duncan says with a roll of his eyes, picking up his mom to take it to the sink.
"Whatever I want…" Gwen mumbles, looking off into space.
Owen picks up his team's sandcastle as loud music plays. "What's a party without cake?!" He takes a massive bite of the paper mache produced prop, the rest of his team sitting around the bonfire with him.
"How is it, Omar?" Lindsay asks curiously.
"As good as a dirt-encrusted magazine can be." He leans over and hurls all over Tyler's lap.
"Duuude! Weak!" He whips the vomit off of his legs desperately.
Sitting by herself by the shore is Beth, looking down at the fiery red and orange bracelet she made Justin. She sighs, caressing it. Justin suddenly walks up behind her, sitting next to her on the tire-seat she occupies. "Thanks for winning us the sandcastle building contest, Beth. You really saved our bacon. Or should I say, facon? Heh."
She giggles. "Oh, Justin.. You were great too!"
"I was just wondering.. Before we left the film lot, you gave everybody a friendship bracelet on the way out. Everybody except me, aren't we friends, Beth?"
"Oh, of course! H-here, I made this one for you! Sorry, it's a little sweaty!" Beth takes the bracelet off of her wrist and hands it to Justin as it drips with sweat. He slides it over his wrist and pats it down dry.
"Wow, orange and red, eh? Like fiery passion.. It looks gorgeous, just like me.. And just like you~" He leans into her, his chin on her shoulder. She gasps and wraps an arm around his neck.
"T-this is nice, right?" Beth questions, sweating profusely.
"Your… boyfriend won't care, right?" Justin questions gently.
"Boyfriend? We're not even dating! We went on ONE date. Brady and I aren't exclusive. I-I can break things off if you want me too!" Beth frantically says. Justin pulls back, standing up.
"Relax, Beth. I was just wondering. Hey, I'm gonna get some soda. You in?"
"Sure!" Beth hops up and follows Justin like a loyal puppy back to the party.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Hah. Let's just say I'll do anything to win. Anything . 'Ooh, Beth, a bracelet? I love it. I was thinking, Beth, it would be really good for us.. If you and me were in an alliance.'" Justin grins at the screen from ear to ear. The camera pans to Chris' view of Justin in the control room, watching everything.
"Man, that dude is as crafty as he is good looking. Maybe we're related… Nah, he wishes!" The host cackles.
"Uh.. No, Chris," Justin replies, confused. "No, I don't."
Chris quickly turns off the confessional cam. "Poor delusional guy could never swim in my gene pool. More importantly, tune in next time to watch more me! And maybe a few minutes of Justin… on Total!
Drama!
Action!"
Chris stands up and walks off screen, yelling, "Hey, which one of you geniuses turned the two-way mic on?"