She didn't notice his precocious stare at her with each step down the stairs. And here they were at the front door.
"Okay, I guess it's time for me to head home" she said looking at him a bit nervously.
He squeezed her hand lightly "I thought we should go together… to tell your mother."
"Oh. Right. You're probably right."
Tell her mama.
Tell her that he asked her to marry him. And she said yes.
This is happening too fast. All of that. But it would be weird not to, right?
She simply smiled and walked with him to her house. All the way her mind was filled with questions. How would she tell him? When? That kiss… She didn't want to stop. But suddenly it felt a bit weird to keep this secret from him. As soon as they walked in, they were met by Portia Featherington.
"Penelope here you are. You left so abruptly." Was her mama concerned for her indeed? At least it definitely sounded like that.
"Mama" she took deep breath to calm herself down as much as she could. Smile Penelope, don't forget to smile – she thought. "Colin asked me to marry him." she looked at his big white smile. He was so delighted. Why wasn't she then? "And I said yes."
Shock. That was a complete shock on Portia's face that they were witnessing.
"I hope you'll give us our blessing, Mrs. Featherington." Everybody in this room were nervous and it felt like there was no air to take a single breath.
Her mother cleared her throat, then stepped forward and gave Penelope a hug. It was, at first, a hesitant embrace on both of their parts, but then Portia tightened her arms around Penelope, and with a chocked cry, Penelope returned the hug in equal measure.
"I am very pleased for you, Penelope." Portia drew back and whipped a tear from her eye. "I shall be lovely without you, of course, but this is what's best for you. I'm really happy for both of you."
Well, that was… unexpected. And… really warm. Penelope whipped her own tears and squeezed Colin's hand that she was still holding.
And then Portia said it. "We are delighted to welcome you to the family, Colin."
There it was. Blessing. Colin moved his hand to half hug Penelope and smiled his sweet smile at Mrs. Featherington. It really was happening. They are going to get married.
Goodbyes were said and Portia left then alone in hallway of her home.
A small pause and a few smiles after Colin broke the silence.
"I think it went better then it could."
"I guess." And then he hugged her. He hugged her. And it felt like a promise. After a few moments he slowly let go of embrace just enough to look her in the eyes.
"I can't wait to marry you, Penelope." Not even waiting for an answer he leaned down to leave a small light kiss. "Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Midnight after the next day – she thought. A slight terror ran down her whole body.
"My family was planning this ball for a few weeks now. You didn't forget, did you?" he looked calm, content almost. Releasing her hands and taking a half of a step back he continued "We could make an announcement. I'm sure Anthony and Kate will also."
"Right, sure. Sorry, I must have forgotten with everything… I'll see you tomorrow."
She must look normal. But how could it be possible when it felt like her whole world was falling apart already? Midnight after the next day. She shall tell him tomorrow. But now she just must put herself together for another few moments. Would the same trick work again? – she thought. Probably too risky to kiss him now.
And with those thoughts she put the biggest smile she could master and looked deep into his blue eyes.
"Tomorrow." He repeated, looking her up and down, taking in her full beauty. He licked his lips unconsciously the same way he did in the carriage, only this time it caught her eye and she had to take a deep breath. Right that moment she wanted to take that chance only to kiss him one last time.
With those promises to meet again he nodded and left, while she was still standing in her hallway mesmerized by his beauty and terrified of what can happen tomorrow.
Surely there must be some other way. Or maybe he would just … be okay with it? Now she was just delusional. She must be. Colin Bridgerton would be okay with her being Lady Whistledown and hiding this hefty thing from him all this time. Delusional. Naïve. Or maybe… simply in love? Could it be love that was making her behave in the way Colin would expect her to be? Could it be that love mixed with society rules that she was taught from a young age, that she resisted for so long, was in the end making her more pliable? Maybe those lessons stick to her in some way in the end? Not being able to resist him made her hide a part that could make him disappear from her life for good.
She went to bed still thinking a way to tell him her secret. Time from time her mind slipped to a feeling of him kissing her. Longing in his eyes. A feeling he awoke in her during that ride home. It took her a really long time to fall asleep that night.
On the other side of the street Colin was laying in bed reminiscing on a change he witnessed tonight. Sweet Penelope wasn't as sweet in that carriage. Her sighs and moans sending him into oblivion of desperate want to take her right there and then. Who knew he could be so desirous from her simply running her hand though his hair?
The look on her face. Pure. Desirable.
He felt desirable.
It was indeed a first time he ever felt it fully. A need.
But she was so distant after telling his family.
Was her mind clouded in that carriage the same way his was? Could it be she didn't want to get married to him? Lord Debling. She said she made peace with marrying him. Could it be… that she had feeling for this man? She did say it was too soon, but what if her mind was regretting losing Lord Debling? Whatever it was they can talk about it tomorrow. It's been enough events for today.
Colin fell asleep thinking how she kissed him. In Eloise's room. Just hours ago. It felt so good and so sudden. She made a move. She kissed him. That must mean she wants him too. He is going to marry Penelope Featherington. His best friend and a woman he wanted to spend his whole life with.