A/N: To thank you for the enthusiastic response from last chapter (and because I have Anakinsrealmom helping me) here's the next! In a few weeks I won't be able to post for a while, so I'm getting in what I can while I have the opportunity. :)

Jasper

Alice had been really irritated with him. They'd been really quiet as the limo drove them back to the hotel. Years in the military and training told him she was right- that he should've drank more water…but still, he'd felt that he'd been on the defense about the smoking…seemed always to do with the smoking.

They were at the hotel for one more night, then they each were scheduled to have their final interview. The decision was to be given to the experts at that time. Now that she and Bella could spend a little more time together, since they'd become more lax on the filming these last days, Alice had been taking advantage of it and hanging out with her friend.

He guessed that Alice was angry with him, though she'd not done anything but express her concern. The worst thing was that she was right. About it all. Jasper knew he was one flawed human - he'd known it all along. He'd wondered even if his smoking had never been an issue if she could ever get past the fact that not only did he have a son from another woman, but the horrible thing he'd done followed him all the rest of his days. He'd tried not to think about it, and it didn't matter what good he did, it seemed nothing would ever take away the realization of his action- how it affected that poor boy. How could it?

Alice couldn't possibly understand that he was young and stupid and careless at the time. How could she get past that when he couldn't get past it himself?

They'd had drinks with Emmett and Bella that night, but Alice insisted they get to bed early since Jasper had passed out, she'd been treating him with kid gloves.

And that night, she'd insisted he go to sleep and not exert any more effort than needed because his body needed to recover from the incident.

He couldn't have felt like more of a weakling.

Though, he was grateful for two things: 1. This blasted experiment was almost over, and 2. They were out of that mansion. Being among those others made him feel less than he was. Even though he'd been in better shape in his life, had commanded authority over troops, he'd somehow been reduced to a shell of who he used to be. How had that happened? What the hell, he thought now. He'd come into this all confident that he'd deserved happiness, that he was more than good enough for some woman. Someone who could share their life with him. Now, he just felt weak…and tired…and another craving was tugging at him like an anchor.

"Jasper?" Alice said as they lay in bed together. The silence sat like a chasm between them.

He twitched, trying to ignore the craving. "Yeah?"

"I love you," she said.

He chuckled. "Why, Alice?"

She leaned up on her elbow. "Why? That's a stupid question."

"Well, maybe I'm not as smart as you."

"That's ridiculous. What is going on in your head, Jasper Whitlock?"

"I'm just thinking… that maybe this whole thing has been a mistake."

"What?" She flipped on the light, her eyes bugging out at him.

"I've done nothing but drag you down. You deserve better, Alice."

"Jasper, I don't know how you can say that. You are a wonderful, loving man with so much to offer. If anything, you deserve better."

"That's crazy, Alice."

"Well, that won't be the first time anybody's called me that."

"Nah, I'm just saying…there are things about me…and you are so perfect and clean…and you care about people…"

"So do you. You are such a good man. You've served your country. You have scars you will have to deal with for the rest of your life because of it." She pointed to the wavy line on his chest and then to his head. "Here and in here."

He shook his head. "That was a choice I made." With help.

"Still. You'll never be the same person. And besides, you know I'm not perfect. I already told you I can't have children."

"You never had that confirmed."

"I just know, okay? So, then what if I can't have a baby?"

"Then, we'll deal with that then."

"Jas, I can't do this with this kind of uncertainty."

"Are you afraid I'm going to leave you?"

"Maybe."

He laughed, for the first time in hours, feeling it deep in his belly.

"I'm glad you find my insecurity so amusing."

"It's just that…I'm afraid if we stay married, you're going to be the one who does the leaving."

"Why?"

He looked at her, and wondered if after he told her everything if she could still look at him with such love in her eyes. "I've done such bad things. I ruined…"

"Keep going…" she pressed.

"Maria and I were out drinking. I'd stolen some booze from my dad's liquor cabinet. I even stole my dad's car…"

"Oh…well that's not so unusual…"

"I'm not finished. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this now." He took a deep breath, exhaled and waited. The concern in her eyes made him reconsider.

"Jasper, what is it? What did you do that was so bad?"

"I was driving drunk that night…Maria was in the passenger side, we were arguing, about what, I forget now…and I took a turn going too fast, and rain was coming down so hard I could hardly see the windshield…anyhow, I hit the guard rail and spun out, and I slammed into a person on a bike - turned out he was my age, 17 at the time—I didn't know him, but his bike skidded across the road with him on it. We got out to see if he was okay, and Maria was screaming in panic. I couldn't see his face through the road rash, and he wasn't breathing."

"Oh no!"

"That's not the worst part, Alice. He died because of me. And when I looked at his body so mangled up, I couldn't face it. Maria begged for us to leave and get out of there, so that's what I did. I left…and never looked back."

She covered her mouth with her hand, and the shame and regret swelled deep inside his veins.

"What about his family?"

"He lived in a halfway house, so he didn't have a family. He was on his way to his job that night—worked graveyard shift at a warehouse. That boy had a future and I stole it from him. I regretted that night for as long as I could remember."

"So, he didn't even have anyone to mourn him?"

"Had some friends at the orphanage…found out it was him through the newspaper. They'd done a write up about the hit and run. That it was under investigation. That the assailant should be brought to justice. I had intended to turn myself in and showed my dad the newspaper clipping, who was still angry about the dents in his car and because I'd done so much other stuff. He used his influence to get me into the army right away. It took away the shame he would have to face that an officer's son had hit and killed a teenager. As he anticipated, the army straightened me out. My dad and Maria and I were the only ones who knew what really happened. And now you."

"Oh, Jasper…"

"I should have gone to prison, Alice. I think of that poor boy everyday and what I stole from him." She was quiet…and he shook his head. "See? How could you want to stay married to me knowing this?"

She opened her mouth but the words didn't come quickly. "I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. As harsh as this sounds, you turned your life around because of this boy. Then you went into the military and were promoted all the way to a major - no small feat…"

It was true, but it didn't make him feel better. He was born of military blood.

"Now, with that said, what can you do to make it right?"

"What do you mean? I can't bring that boy back."

"No, but we can talk to a lawyer…maybe the sentence wouldn't be so harsh…"

She inferred what he'd been so afraid to consider. Going to prison. He'd avoided it for almost 17 years. Wouldn't the sentence be even heavier? Was there a statute of limitations on a hit and run? Nobody would ever see him the same way again once this got out.

The light was red on the camera in the corner of her bedroom, and he was grateful. He might be able to face it but this was not something he wanted America to find out…at this point.

"I just don't know, Alice. I've come close to turning myself in quite a few times. But I…ran away…just like I did that night."

"We are going to get through this," she said. "It will work out. Believe me."

"The only way it's going to work out is that I'll serve a life sentence, which I deserve and then you will be stuck waiting for me. No. I can't have you do that. It's not fair to ask. If I'm going to turn myself in, I can't drag you into this. It's not fair to you."

"I'm not asking for permission, Jasper. I love you and will stick by you."

"No, Alice. It's not right. You've helped me decide, and I thank you. From now on, I'm going to do what's right. For you and for me. I'm going to insist on the divorce. Then when the show is over, I'm going to turn myself in."

Her eyes clouded with tears. "Wait a minute! Don't I get a say in this?"

He took her hands in his. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I never meant to hurt you. I always thought I could just keep going, pretending it never happened. And now, I see I need to do what I should have done a long time ago. I need you to be strong for me. I'm such an ass for bringing you into this. I was so selfish."

"You came here for a reason, and you're not going to convince me otherwise. We are meant to be together, Jasper."

"But we won't be. I'll be in prison. What are you going to do? Keep visiting me in jail?"

"If I have to." She covered her mouth again with her hand. "I don't want to lose you."

"I have to do what I have to do. I'm going to stop being selfish and I won't hold you back. You deserve all the happiness that life has to offer, Alice. I…have a debt I have to pay, and I'm so, so sorry I brought you into this. I was so selfish to do that. Now, I have to let you go."

"No, Jas, I won't agree."

"It only takes one person to want the divorce. But it takes both to agree to stay married."

"Divorce is the wrong choice. I mean, what if it all works out?"

"Awww Alice, you're so innocent and good. But, that's not the way life really works. Not for me."

"Please, Jasper? Don't decide now. Let's just sleep on it. Please?"

His heart hurt, and the idea of separating from her was like a knife twisting in his gut. Penance… She threw her arms around him, and he braced his around her back. She was too good. Maybe she was the angel he needed to finally convince him to do the right thing. "Okay, Alice. Okay."

Alice

It was after 2am when he'd told her about that tragic night. She couldn't suppress the horror mixed with sorrow at the tragedy that befell that young boy. She didn't love Jasper any less, and she saw very well that he'd learned from it… he had made the wrong choice at the time, but he'd been young. Who hadn't made stupid mistakes in their youth? But then again, most mistakes didn't include the taking of another person's life. Could she forgive him for this? Could he forgive himself? She believed she could. That he'd lived with the heaviness of what he'd done for almost two decades. That he'd regretted it…that the remorse of robbing that boy of his future and not paying for it had eaten him up inside.

The brightness of the sun stole her from sleep, and when she opened her eyes she found it was after 8am and that he was not there in bed with her. A sinking feeling tugged at her as though she was being dragged into a black hole.

She hopped out of bed and called out his name, searching every room and even the backyard. He was gone. No camera man was there that morning, which she imagined was probably a good thing. Their appointment with the experts was at noon, and she'd hoped they would at least have time to talk before then. But as the limo showed up at 11:30, he still hadn't come home. What had happened to him?

Did he change his mind and turn himself in sooner? Why wasn't he here with her? How could he do this without discussing it? Though, just hours before he'd sounded very sure of his answer.

He wanted the divorce, and she wanted to cry just thinking about it. Was it possible he was going to skip this meeting?

She had her answer as she sat before the experts, assuring them he would be here. She'd had a flash that he would be seated beside her. He had tears in his eyes. Pastor Ray looked upon her with too much compassion, and a deep furrow sat between Dr. Saltz's brows.

"We'll just wait."

"This is unusual. Usually they show up together," said Dr. Muncher.

Great. Now it was going to be on her to explain…everything. Everything? How could she do that? The simple fact that he was not here was reason enough to conclude he did not want to stay married.

"We'll just give him a couple more minutes," Dr. Saltz said. "And if he's not here then we'll have to assume he doesn't want to stay married."

"But why?" Pastor Ray asked. "Maybe something held him up."

A knock sounded at the door, and everyone, including their camera men turned their attention to Jasper as he entered.

"Hi. I'm sorry I'm late." His eyes met Alice's, sorrow shone in them.

"Shall we get started?" Dr. Saltz began.

Alice nodded, even though she would've loved to run from this room. Yes, she'd had the insight he would be there, but she didn't know if he was sticking to his decision. She cried out in her head to her guides, "why did I have to go through this if it wasn't going to work out?"

She hadn't received a reply, but she was a bundle of knots anyway.

"Now, you two have had quite a relationship."

Dr. Muncher smiled. "You were the only couple who didn't require my help," she said with a wink.

"Yet, even with such a connection, you two still had your difficulties like any other couple," Pastor Ray added.

Well, not like any other couple, Alice thought. Most couples didn't come to a relationship with a child from their past. Or with such a dark history. Of course, to them, Jasper was the epitome of the American man, patriotic, compassionate, ambitious, hopeful…she was determined to continue letting them believe that.

"Yeah, that was my fault," Alice said.

Jasper turned to her. "What? No. Nothing is your fault. Not a single damn thing."

"I pushed you and pushed you to quit smoking. I think I pushed you over the edge."

She was determined not to let on that there were any other issues besides that. It was none of their business.

"No. It was my fault. I promised her I would quit. And I failed."

Pastor Ray leaned in. "I thought we reached an agreement. What happened with that?"

Jasper darted his gaze to hers. "I can't do it. I don't want to quit smoking."

"Not even to save what could be years of happiness with Alice?" Dr. Saltz asked.

"I've thought about this a lot. And I'm sorry, Alice. Maybe this wasn't our fault, you know…you expressed that you refused to be with a smoker…"

"Now, now," Pastor Ray said. "As true as that may be, it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. Besides, Alice, if she chose to, could've ended it at the reception if it was a deal breaker. She did not. She chose to stick by you."

"Yeah…under the condition that I quit."

Alice smelled it on him, and she shrunk back in her chair. She couldn't figure out whether he was doing it for show or just trying to make it look like this was the real reason he wanted the divorce.

There was no doubt about how she felt about it. She couldn't make herself like it if she wanted. The smoke, the smell, the addiction was a sore spot that had never healed. Too much loss…too much suffering…she couldn't do it again. She wouldn't.

"Pastor Ray, even when you came to talk to us, she didn't back down."

Alice's cheeks became hot. "So now you are saying this is my fault?"

"No, Alice. I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying that I can't change who I am."

"This isn't who you are, Jasper. It's a habit that dominates you physically. But it doesn't have to be this way."

He looked away. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Please, Jas? I thought you loved me."

"I thought you loved me. But, it's okay. I don't care if everybody thinks I'm a jerk. I'm going to be who I am."

"I want you, though. All of you."

"It sounds like this is an argument you've had before," Dr. Muncher said. "What can we do to help?"

"I'm beyond help," Jasper told her, his gaze fixed on the ground.

Pastor Ray spoke up. "With all due respect, nobody is beyond help if they so choose."

"I disagree."

Alice wanted to say something—anything…but she was at a loss. It looked like he had his mind made up. And she refused to out him about the hit and run in front of them. But her lips remained clamped shut. She didn't know how to fix this, or if it was something that could be fixed.

"It's my fault too," Alice said. "I didn't tell him or you that I didn't think I could have children."

All three sets of brows rose high on the experts' faces. "Have you had this confirmed?" Dr. Muncher asked.

Jasper shook his head at her, as if to tell her not to speak of this. Not in front of them.

"No," Alice said. "I just kept it to myself. But I don't see kids in my future. I thought you know, there's in vitro, or adoption, or something…"

"We could see that you're tested, Alice, if that would ease your mind. We wish you would've disclosed this to us, but…"

"That doesn't matter," Jasper said. "My decision, how I feel isn't about whether she can have kids or not. What matters is that we can't see eye to eye. She wants me to stop smoking. And I can't."

Dr. Saltz spoke, "Or you won't?"

"No. Neither."

It was silent for a moment in the room, and the experts' eyes darted to one another until Dr. Saltz tipped her head and looked from Jasper to Alice. "Sounds like we're at an impasse…and you know why we're here after this 6 week experiment. We have to ask both of you: Do you want to stay married or get a divorce?

"Divorce," Jasper answered quickly. "I'm sorry, Alice. I never meant to hurt you."

Tears stung her eyes, and a sob broke out from her lips. He was really going through with this, and whatever she said wouldn't matter…like he'd said.

"Alice, same question," Pastor Ray said. "Do you want to stay married or get a divorce?"

She didn't even know why they asked. "I want to stay married…" She turned to Jasper. "I just want you, Jasper, and everything that goes with it. So, if you have to keep smoking, I'll accept it. I won't like it. But, I don't want to lose you."

Alice felt the weight and the silence upon her as all eyes fixed on her face. She'd agreed to the one thing she'd been resistant to all along.

Then all eyes were on Jasper, and his own filled with tears. "Dammit, Alice," he said. "That's not what you want."

"I want you."

"Damn it, Alice. Damn it!" He took her hands in his and gazed into her eyes as tears trickled down his cheeks. He leaned into her and their lips met, their arms bracing each other for dear life. "I love you so much. I love you…"

Dr. Saltz and Dr. Muncher wiped their eyes, looking at each other. "Wow. I didn't see that coming," said Dr. Muncher.

After a moment, Pastor Ray spoke, "Jasper? I'm going to ask you the question again. Although, I think we have our answer."

Their fingers stayed entwined, and Alice looked at him with all the hope in the world, her eyes pleading. "Please?" she said.

"More than anything in this world, I want to stay married to you, Alice, but…"

"There's no but," she said.

Dr. Saltz spoke this time. "Once again, Jasper, do you want to stay married…or…?"

Alice smiled because Dr. Saltz hadn't even offered divorce as an option. "Yes, I want to stay married," Alice said. "Say it, Jas."

His lips trembled, and he shook his head. It came out in a whisper. "I want to stay married."

Applause rang out from the experts, and even from the producer at the back of the room.

"Congratulations, you two! We're so very happy for you, and we wish you all the best."

As they exited, the producer caught up with them. "That was really close," she said. "I'm so pleased, as are all of us, that you changed your mind, Jasper."

"Me too!" Alice said.

"I don't deserve her, you know."

"You're wrong, Jas, we deserve each other. For better or for worse."

With that, the producer reminded them of their obligation to appear on the after show a few weeks later, as the premiere of the first episode was to be the following week. Jasper and Alice removed their mikes, shook hands with the producer, and received hugs from the experts and staff. And their final limo ride home, in spite of no camera watching, was in complete silence, their hands still locked together.

A/N: Am really looking forward to your thoughts on this one! As always thanks for reading and for your support.