his story is a work of fanfiction. As such, it owes a great debt to the creators of the characters used herein: Rumiko Takahashi, Matt Bozon, Erin Bell Bozon and the creative teams of Kity Films and WayForward.
( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)
Chapter 9
Ambush
The time was approaching the noon. The displaced girls began gathering on the beach. Ranma and Nabiki were already there. Then a slightly roughed up Xian Pu came, her scuffs and bruises contrasting against her immaculate dress: "Have you seen the hundred thousand dogs swarming this town? I was, likewise, unaware of them. But they are there!"
Then Akane and Shantae came. Ukyou was the last, lost in thought.
They went killing time again, roaming the town all together. To not miss the opening.
The closer it was, the more Shantae was growing restless. Her paranoia awakening, she had a sudden thought that Risky could have a backup plan, with a whole army hidden through the town, to jump out to pillage and burn if they succeed in capturing the queen of pirates.
They couldn't find objections, even: such a plan was realistic for a treacherous villain Shantae was painting the opponent as.
There was no way of checking that without making their abilities known. Xian Pu couldn't help either: she spent most of her "scouting" fleeing from various canine cat-haters.
So they kept walking the streets while struggling to prevent Shantae from chewing all her nails off.
While walking yet another time along the wharf, pretending to be tourists waiting for the expo opening, they met a blonde girl of about twenty, a bit taller than Nabiki, dressed in a hood and a bikini with a sarong skirt flapping in the wind. Ranma, hot and stuffy again in her two-layered, long-sleeved shirt, was beginning to envy the local girls.
"Here is Sora!" Shantae exclaimed in joy, turning to face the blonde, which made the Nerimans pay close attention to the girl. She was lean and toned, her eyes brown, unruly locks sticking from under a blue head-wrap under a violet hood clasped around her neck with something akin to a standing collar over bare skin. Her simple light-blue top with a pink edge was hanging loosely at the bottom — no elastic fabrics and such. Her sarong was violet and blue, baring her left leg, she wore short pink boots with blue tops... and a massive leather glove of a falconer. Onto which glove a huge, pink and blue parrot landed suddenly with a warning squawk to glare at the approaching girls.
The girl made a step back eyeing the six of them suspiciously.
"Sora, wait!" Shantae whispered hastily. "It's me! Me! Just disguised!"
"I don't know who you are," the blond replied in a neutral tone, "but you are clearly mistaken. My name is Sky, not Sora."
"But, but, but..." Shantae mumbled, crestfallen. "You're... We're... I remember..."
"What happened?" Akane asked, alarmed. "She doesn't recognize you? Are you sure it's her?"
"This is, without any doubt, my friend Sora," Shantae continued with determination, shaking her stupor off. "And her loyal war bird Wrench. We are life-long friends. But why won't she recognize me? Is there something wrong with my voice...? Or... Or did we..." Her voice wavered. "Did we land in an alien reality where everything is different and we are strangers to each other...?"
"Listen," the parrot-toting blonde injected with exasperation. "I can hear all your whispering. Yes, this is Wrench. And no, I would remember if there was a chestnut head with a bun in the oven among my friends. Shantae is there. Rotty is. Even one Bolo. You, aren't."
"Phew." Shantae let out a sigh of immense relief. "But that's me," she whisprered pulling a ring-laden long ear from under her turban while trying to cover it with her elbow so that no one else saw it.
The blonde did not react for about three seconds, staring at the disguised half-Genie's belly.
Then she cried out loudly, attracting attention: "Shantae...?！ Pregnant...?‼ When did you...?"
"Caw," the bird added flatly.
"Quieeeet!" Shantae hissed in panic, glancing around frantically. "I disguised myself to ambush Risky: we will catch her as soon as she crashes the expo."
"And she is not pregnant," Nabiki added prudently. "It's an egg."
"Ah..." Understanding flashed in the life-long friend's eyes. "That one? You are so caring..."
"Don't praise me." Shantae averted her eyes, epitome of awkwardness. "I'm not worthy— I'll tell you later. I only hope that this— That it is all right."
"Can your parr— warbird," Xian Pu corrected herself. "Can he check the rooftops without drawing attention?"
"To look if there are, howdem, tinkah..batto hiding up there," the redhead added.
"Shantae?" The blonde cast a questioning look at the pseudo-pregnant one, who looked out of it.
"I'm sorry, Sora!" She exclaimed, becoming aware again. "I— we should keep the ruse, but..."
"Why do you keep calling me that name? I am Sky. S-k-y!"
"But I say exactly that: Sora," Shantae replied, puzzled.
Both stared at each other in mutual bewilderment.
"It's simple, really," Nabiki solved the mystery. "Learning Japanese in one minute wasn't without consequences. Bot these names mean "sky", only `skai` is English while `sora` is Japanese. For example, what language are you thinking in?"
"Eeeeh..." Shantae was taken aback, stumped by the question.
"Sun order language...? In one minute...?" Sky asked, puzzled.
"Let's step aside to somewhere we won't be attracting attention," Ranma suggested casting a look down the wharf. There were lots of people gathered around, including individuals so wrapped up their eyes were barely visible. That's not counting a huge stone gorilla loitering at the far end of the wharf holding a sign of a crossed circle in its huge paw. "Into a side street, for example."
"Not a good idea," Sky disagreed quietly as she took a unconspicious look around. "If Risky and her men are already in town, they could sit in any barrel, at any corner. Let us better... check the wares." She pointed with her eyes at a the fish merchant who put his stand in the beginning of one of the piers.
They walked to the stand to pretend they were interested in the merchandise. Ukyou, for one, wasn't pretending.
"I, umm..." Shantae began in a hushed voice. "What should I begin with..."
"With us knowing Risky's plan," Nabiki cued her quietly. "Everything else can wait."
"Yes, you are right," Shantae agreed as she absent-mindedly pressed her finger into one of the fish carcasses. "Risky is aiming for the today's relic hunter expo. It's... complicated but I'm sure they are already in the town. We will surprise her, sure, but what if she has a—"
"Are you going to buy or what?" the fat fisherman inquired scratching his impressive belly not covered by his abbreviated vest.
Shantae sighed pulling her pouch of copper coins out of thin air — pretending that from her pocket — to begin haggling with gusto. She got so carried away that she lost track of the conversation and then Ranma had to drag around a huge horse mackerel half as long as she was tall because they couldn't put it in the subspace pocket out of conspiration.
"So what we were talking about...?" Shantae tried to remember.
"What would we do with his jumbo," Ranma grumbled as they were walking along the wharf again. "It'd spoil in this heat."
"If you can spare it, we can feed it to some seagulls I know around here," Sky suggested. "Later, not with so many people around."
"Right!" Shantae snapped her fingers. "We are travelers from afar. We saw the town, we've been on the beach - but do you have a lighthouse around here? I'm curious."
"I'm not a local myself," Sky played along as she headed to the eastern end of the wharf. "But they do have a lighthouse here. It's not working, though. Come, I shall show you!"
They walked after her through half the wharf, then across the stone bridge. There were much less people around here. But what if? Shantae was growing a bit nervous: the time they had til the opening was running out while she haven't warned them about so many things yet! They passed by the beach to go deep into the park until finally stopping on a small cliff above the sea, with no any bushes close by.
"Can you talk now?" Sky inquired with sarcasm.
"You just don't know how treacherous she could be." Shantae sighed. "I'm weary of this masquerade, you know. It's so hot and stuffy. Only the egg feels good." She rubbed at her fake belly. "Go on, call your seagulls. Soon we won't have time for this."
"Well, if you can spare it..." Sky pulled out a... key ring full of carved whistles. Selecting the right one she whistled a curious melody and soon huge seagulls came to circle in front of the girls.
Whole four birds.
"Throw it." Sky commanded Ranma. "Up in the air."
"Wouldn't this be too much for them?" the redheaded girl asked doubtfully.
"Go on, throw it! You'll see!"
Ranma shrugged and threw the large fish up. The seagulls accelerated instantly, turning into a gray-and-white wheel that hit the fish with a sound akin to a buzzsaw. What splashed down in the water was a perfectly clean fish skeleton.
"Whoa!" Akane boggled.
"Serious birdies," agreed Xian Pu.
"Cool!" Shantae exclaimed, amazed.
The seagulls slowed down, circling lazily.
"I'm more amazed," Ranma said, "how ten kilograms of fish fit into just four birds. And not only fit, they haven't even lost their flight!"
After circling for a bit, the seagulls landed on the water and were bobbing on the waves now, cleaning their feathers smugly.
"I wonder about that myself," Sky admitted. "But that wasn't their limit."
"Them seagulls," Ukyou said like it was self-explanatory.
"The lunch was free," Sky addressed the birds. "I don't have any work for you, guys, today." She made a gesture with crossed forearms.
The seagulls squawked something in return and swam away, burping satedly.
"All right," Shantae began. "While we aren't distracted with anything else, here's the disproportion: I have returned from the future— Sora, don't interrupt me, I know it's impossible. During that... year..? half a year..? I learned to fulfill wishes and it turned to be terribly dangerous and laden with epic surprises. By the way, meet my new friend Akane, she is from a totally different world. Akane's fiance Ranma. He is not always a girl, long story. Akane's sister Nabiki. Ranma's other fiancees, Akane's rivals: Xianpuu and Ukyou. There was also Ryouga, but he is worse than Bolo, swam away in an unknown direction and got lost together with his magic piglet. I got back to our world while fulfilling the wish of Xianpuu's great-grandmother to release her childhood friend's soul from a cursed pendant. I even managed to return her to life but I overdid it a little so we all landed here, in my past, and overstrained myself so I won't be able to transform for a week and our world is now in danger because of that. Have I missed anything?"
"Uhhhh..." It took the blonde a minute and a half to come out of stupor.
"Sora...? Are you all right...?" Shantae asked her worriedly when she didn't get any answer.
"I... My head is swimming. Wait, are you saying the world is in danger?"
"Caw," the parrot added with scepticism.
"It's a... long story." Shantae sighed. "Really long. But Risky won't wait. We have to check over the rooftops across the town if she got an army sitting in reserve. We know that she is going to grab and run. But what if she has a contingency plan to smash the town if she is caught...?"
"You don't have to ask!" Sky replied. "Wrench, go, quietly." She threw him up into the air.
"Caw," the parrot confirmed as he began gaining attitude lazily, like he was really flying to stretch his wings.
They got smart critters around here, Ranma thought. By the way... "You haven't told us about the attack itself," he reminded Shantae. "And what should we expect from her, in general."
Shantae gasped and started babbling: "As soon as Uncle picks the lamp clean, Risky crashes through the ceiling riding an anchor. Keep in mind that that is an inside view. Back then I... In short, the past me grew so lazy in practicing my dances I could barely manage the monkey, not to mention the harpy. Because of that, when the tinkerbats wound the anchor chain back up with the, howzit, winch, Risky gave me the slip and let me catch up to her only at the bridge. There she showed off her surprise boat, played with me like a cat with a mouse for a while, then knocked me out before sailing away. To my rotten luck it was when the mayor found me. He blew a gasket and fired me. For `sleeping on my job`. But I wasn't sleeping, I was bruised with a cannonball."
"Like a cat with a mouse?" Sky asked worriedly. "Is she that strong?"
"Mmm..." Shantae sounded deep in thought. "When I beat her for the first time... She either did not have all the pirate items on her, or was so distraught — I just totaled her giant robot, after all — that she simply forgot to use all her tricks. The pirate items are powerful! When I— mmm... I'll tell you later. These things may not be stronger than my transformations, but they are surely quicker. She only has to pull one out of— By the way. She does have a ki-pocket like mine. Or not exactly like mine... But you can't use the cannon without it."
"But I hope in these... How long, by the way? You haven't changed at all. I hope fulfilling wishes was not all that you learned in that time?" Sky inquired, tentatively hopeful.
"Half a year..." Shantae frowned. "Or a full year...? My memory is somewhat spotty."
"She couldn't remember how did she end up in our world," Akane complained.
"Mm, true," Shantae agreed. "I learned many things. Adding to my basic five transformations—"
"But you only have three!" Sky corrected her. "Oh! You forgot when exactly you learned them, didn't you?"
"To be honest, I learned the spider dance back in the Golem Mines," Shantae admitted. "But... imperfectly. I just never used it since then. But later I've corrected my mistake, making my spider form much more human-like. After that... Oh, right. I should only get the mermaid in a week from now, while chasing Risky...! That's five. On top of that, I have four more transformations, not as powerful but very useful, three very powerful special dances and one very powerful spell. These are all mana hogs, though. Blink, and you are out."
"And the martial arts training," Akane reminded her.
"And training my melee fighting," Shantae agreed. "With my hair, without my hair, with a whip... But even after all that, if today's Risky decides to take on me seriously it would be one risky battle...! But that if I wasn't out of shape...! I'm sorry, girls." She turned to the Nerimans. "You have to fight her. Not only am I unable to transform, I cannot manage powerful spells either. Even the Mirror. What a pity, she doesn't know about it."
"Ah," Sky only managed to say.
"Let's hear about the pirate items in more detail," Xian Pu said, her voice forcefully calm. Ranma didn't pay attention — or pretended not to — while Nabiki got the impression that the amazon was... intimidated?
To think of it, what does she know about Shantae? That she stomped Shampoo with her magic, then stomped Happousai. And Happousai was a force to be reckoned with. Then add a very real resurrection. So if Shantae is nervous now... Shampoo doesn't know that the pointy-eared girl feared the old pervert greatly and beat him more on less because he startled her...
"The pistol, the hat, the scimitar, the boots, the cannon," Shantae listed. "By the way! Don't mind the cannonball that is arching onto you from high up. Mind the one that zips at your head point-blank! Just sharing my experience."
"A cannonball?" Ranma drawled skeptically.
"They are magic," Shantae explained. "Not iron. If it was iron I'd lose my head right away. Both the cannon and the pistol work on magic. Not as deadly, but they could be fired endlessly... What was I going about...? Oh, right, the pistol... Well, it's a pistol. It shoots magic bullets powerful enough, I think, to bring me down in one hit. There may be some tricks to it because I don't know everything about it. I definitely remember Risky shooting—"
She was interrupted by a distant crash followed by a shout of "Ranma, it's all your fault!"
"Has it started?" the half-Genie perked up.
"Worse." Ranma made a face. "It was Ryouga bakusaing in!" She dashed towards the square with the pond. "Hurry, while he haven't leveled half the town!"
"Don't blow it, Ranma-kun!" Nabiki shouted making the redhead reluctantly slow down.
"Akane, go!" Shantae pushed her forward waddling at her best speed. "Ranma, pull back!"
"Why!" The pig-tailed girl flared with indignation as she slowed down even more. Akane overtook her.
"He would fight you, but she would shame him!" Shantae showed sudden perceptiveness as she caught up with her. "And more, she... I feel like she is the best choice to convince the guards between all of you. Well... it's her personality."
"But she's!" The redhead deflated. "Is she the only one of us who trusts cops for real?" she asked already knowing the answer.
Ukyou coughed sheepishly. Nabiki huffed skeptically. Shampoo raised her head, full of herself.
"She is really only one of her kind." Ranma sighed admitting defeat.
Dissipating clouds of dust weren't coming from the gate, but to the right of it, from the part of the town wall that bordered the park. In the past this place had been a part of the town, there was even a chunk of foundation with porch steps sticking out of the grass. But overall this place was shady, cool and green, the bushes were more or less clipped. Amidst this tranquil shade there was a big hole in the wall, blazing brightly with sun-scorched fields, surrounded with settling dust. There were rumpled town guards rising from the ground and Akane laying into Ryouga with the grip of a professional mother-in-law.
Dressed in patched, baggy trousers and a brief vest over bare torso, he was well on his way towards repentance.
Wrench flew in, landing on Sky's arm with deliberately loud flapping: "Caw, caaw-caw, caw."
"Barrels...?" She sighed. "Should have expected this."
"How bad is it?" Shantae asked impatiently.
"No use." Sky shook her head. "There are lots of barrels on the roofs all over the town. Who can tell which ones should be there and which ones shouldn't? You understand we'd have to tap each one, giving our game away?"
"There are no silent ambushes," Xian Pu shared a piece of Chinese folk wisdom.
"There are," Sky disagreed. "I don't know what sort of creatures these thinkerbats are — no one knows, I think — but sitting a whole day in a barrel without moving a muscle...? Easily. Either that is in their nature, or Risky could be so... persuasive."
Shantae let out a long sound of frustrated displeasure.
"At least we will take the lamp for her," Ranma reassured her. "We'd hit her in the head and knock her out, if needed, but we will not let her have the lamp. Even if we have to let her go after that."
Akane walked up to them, towing a flustered Ryouga: "I whispered in their ear that we are Shantae-chan's guests and promised that they'll be always able to find him!" she said quietly.
"You did right," the disguised half-Genie approved. "We'll think how to repair the wall later."
"Giving such a promise was veeeery foolhardy of you," Ranma berated, causing a half-hearted "shut up, Ranma" on Ryouga's part.
"It's time, it's time!" Shantae hissed jiggling her purse. "Here, take this money for tickets, move on while I... take a bath." She hurried, waddling, towards the building she had pointed earlier at dawn as the bathhouse.
"Let's go!" Ranma began striding in the direction of the bridge, keeping the speed of a hurrying tourist.
"What is going on?" Ryouga demanded.
"Quiet," Akane hissed at him making him fall silent.
"No time," the redhead explained in a whisper as she fell back to walk side to side with him. "We go to the expo. We do our best pretending to be tourists, waiting until the queen of pirates barges in and grabs the lamp. Then we catch her. She is clever, has more tricks than Pops, but she doesn't expect martial artists."
"The lamp?" Ryouga growled, his face darkening.
"That same one! All right, enough talking. You're a tourist, don't show your hand too early... Dear, look at these rugs! Don't you want to buy one for our snuggly nest...?"
Ryouga's funerally sour face worked as the best disguise ever.
Shantae overtook them, her heels flashing, back in her red outfit. Her hair was damp, swishing heavily — that's how thorough she was playing the role.
( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)
The crowd in the hall was packed. They couldn't get tickets for everyone, not because there weren't enough but because the only ones left were being sold by a shady guy for prices so exorbitant that Ukyou suggested right away for all the fiancees to stay outside so that something remains of Shantae's money.
Because of that, only Ranma, Ryouga and Nabiki got into the hall. Sky as well, but the blond walked through the back door for employers and was now hanging together with Shantae next to the platform used now as a scene, trying to look inconspicuous.
These two friends sticking together made Ranma apprehensive at first: what had they been toiling with disguises for if their mutual acquaintance with Sky gives the Nerimans away? On the other hand, it was not the fact of there being new friends that would surprise the attackers but their martial arts skills that made everything known to this world pale in comparison. The redhead smirked and relaxed, sure in her knowledge it would be easy. She only had to turn Ryouga in the right direction to prevent him breaking any unnecessary walls.
A fat old man came out, dressed in a green coat and possessing an impressive three-pronged white beard, whom Shantae greeted with "Hello, Uncle Mimic!" Judging by his sudden frown, she managed to flash him some secret sign.
Clearing his throat and straightening his fancy glasses with tiny round yellow lenses, the uncle opened the expo with a dramatic story of him cleverly foiling a pressure plate trap. The crowd erupted in gasps and murmurs like "amazing man!", "such bowels!", "what a bravery!" and the like while Nabiki said with overblown tragism in her voice: "Relic hunters are stained forever for me! Now I would never clean the image of a shitting Harrison Ford from my mind!" She slid the hat down onto her face.
Ranma had to put titanic efforts into holding herself from laughing out loud. And yet she was grunting and squealing, shaking.
"And now," the uncle continued in a smooth showman's voice, "I present to you the mysterious object of the year!" He held up something that resembled a lump of ossified dirt.
Shantae tensed like a tightly coiled spring. Ranma's mirth evaporated. Ryouga squinted, his eyes hard. Nabiki's hand drifted towards the whip on her belt. The old man was still saying something but they were not hearing him.
But nothing was happening yet.
"Should I crack it open?" the uncle asked hyping the crowd.
"Do it, do it!" the crowd shouted, clapping and jostling each other in impatience.
Mimic put the fosil onto the table and tapped it carefully with a small wooden hammer. The fossilized layer fell away to reveal a familiar lamp. The old man paled, beads of sweat glistening on his bald head: "How... How did it..."
Tension was growing, the air becoming thick with it.
"Umm... I apologise, ladies and gentlemen," the uncle squeezed out. "Unfortunately, I brought a wrong item by mistake!"
Part of the ceiling shattered loudly. Down dropped an anchor, a woman in a huge pirate hat riding it. She immediately erupted with a painfully familiar "O-ho-ho-ho-ho!"
Ranma cringed studying the opponent during the seconds the pirate was just standing there enjoying the reactions to her dynamic entry. Her manners and her irritating laugh were strongly reminiscent of Kodachi while she was built more like Hinako-sensei: tall and shapely. The main difference was her skin being bluish-gray. Beside the eye-catching hat with its skull and crossbones, her outfit was very similar to Shantae's: pants flaring at the bottom and a narrow top. Only hers were purple. The second eye-catching detail were two bone ornaments, on her belt and her top, together making up an image of a grinning skull where her breasts encased in purple silk were peeking out from under the brow ridges.
"Risky Boots!" Shantae jumped forward to point at her accusingly, standing in a dramatic pose. "I knew it was you!"
Something flashed momentarily in the pirate's eyes, some maniacal glint, some suppressed emotion of such intensity it made Ranma's spine crawl and Shantae stumble a step back.
"I so wished to see you again!" the pirate said with a lopsided grin, not making any attempt to grab the lamp.
Ranma wasn't going to let her have a chance. Ryouga as well. Jumping over the crowd, bounding from someone's heads, the redhead was upon Risky in a flash, knocking her down to the floor and grabbing her hands. Ryouga had passed through the crowd with the grace of a hungover rhino and was now holding the lamp protectively in his left hand, his face expressing "come, get some".
Sounds of a brief scuffle reached from above, then Ukyou and Xian Pu jumped down into the hole, each holding by the neck a gaunt pitch-black midget in red baggy pants and red head-wrap.
So that's how tinkerbats look like. Their spherical heads sported huge yellow eyes and not a hint of a mouth or a nose. Also, they had impressive claws on their hands and feet.
"Should I break the winch?" Akane asked, all business, as she leaned into the hole.
"Don't! Uncle would find some use for it," Shantae replied. She then looked at the supine Risky straddled by Ranma: "The game is over!" she said harshly.
"Hoooh," the pirate drawled, not disconcerted in the slightest, which made Ranma nervous: wasn't it too careless, keeping the woman in such a kiddy hold? What if she had blades in her boots? "So this is your path towards power? Finding new friends...? Why doesn't this surprise me!" She folded flexibly up wrapping her legs around Ranma, her boots pushing at the redhead's abdomen. The attempt to push off the girl straddling her failed, though: Ranma proved to be much stronger. "And what friends! You keep surprising me, half-Genie brat!"
Ranma was liking the condescending tone of the seemingly defeated opponent less and less: could it be that she really held the town hostage with a whole army waiting in ambush on the rooftops or in the sewers?
"And you, little red cutie," Risky purred, her eyes glinting dangerously, "try dodging this."
A pirate pistol appeared in her teeth.
Ranma started: this was unbelievable level of hidden weapons mastery. Or was it magic? It didn't matter: the pistol was aimed to the side, not threatening her at all.
"Sheehesh" Risky mumbled unintelligibly through a mouthful of handle. Then she fired! Into the crowd...? Ranma cast a fleeting glance to the side. Thankfully, not, so—
Her danger sense blared making her release Risky's hands to drop flat on her back. A tiny missile grazed her hair, already curving for its second pass, so rapidly that an untrained human wouldn't be able seeing it.
"Seeker!" Risky fired again as she grabbed the pistol with her hand catapulting Ranma away with a powerful thrust of her legs. Ranma barely had time to flip upright when she had to dodge two projectiles at once. She'd be in a really tight spot if not for that training with bees long ago.
Shantae rushed at her arch-nemesis with a battle cry, but the woman managed squeezing out two more shots before ascending on a stubby cannon bigger than herself. The first explosion threw Shantae away, peppering her with splinters, the following ones just finished the wooden floor exposing stone foundation underneath.
Ranma was dodging desperately, twisting and flipping impossibly, not keen to learning how hard these homing projectiles would hit
"Hey-ya!" dropping her tinkerbat, Ukyou slammed her combat spatula into one of the tiny missiles like a flyswater. There was a deafening clang, her hands growing a bit numb. One more missile slammed into the edge of the scene platform, smashing wood. One just fizzed out to nothingness. Ranma smashed the last one with her fist seeing there was nothing too dangerous in them.
"Dream on, spindly!" Xian Pu added slamming her tinkerbat into the unwatched one who, it turned out, had produced a scimitar from somewhere and was sneaking on Ukyou from behind.
Both monsters slumped, cross-eyed.
"She gave us the slip!" Shantae said in shocked disbelief, looking up at the hole. "We had such an advantage but she gave us the slip!"
"Here, take it." Ryouga held the lamp out to her, looking sheepish.
Shantae squinted examining the artifact from all sides. Then she mumbled with worry: "I don't feel any magic in it. Of course it should be sealed right now, but what if..." She gasped. Then she ran to her uncle who was standing up slowly and cautiously from behind the scene. She thrust the lamp into his hands: "Uncle Mimic! Hurry, tell me: is this the real one or a fake?"
"You... You can't imagine how dangerous—" he tried dodging the question.
"I can! Believe me, I returned from the future! Hurry, I beg you: is this a fake?"
He straightened his glasses nervously as he examined the artifact thoroughly.
Then his shoulders slumped: "It's a fake."
"I knew it!" Shantae exclaimed in frustration. "I was suspecting from the beginning that she stole the real lamp long before this day and the today's attack was just a public stunt!"
The hall was emptying rapidly. Screams could be heard from outside, from the wharf.
"I have to protect the town!" Shantae shouted dashing towards the doors.
Ranma followed her, swearing, frustrated with her failure.
"Where should we put these?" Ukyou and Xian Pu asked Mimic almost synchronously.
"We must tie them up and stick them in a barrel," he replied, still out of it. "Go, I'll deal with these..." He bent down to drag the unconscious enemies by their feet.
"I too—" the lost boy began but was interrupted by Nabiki:
"You'd better stay, Ryouga-kun. This Risky, she had the eyes of a dangerous psycho who knows no bounds. She is unpredictable. How would you rate the chance of her suddenly taking Shantae-chan's friends or family hostage?" She pointed at Mimic with her eyes. The old man looked so lost, barely focused on his task of tying up the knocked out monsters, not watching his back at all. An easy prey for any evildoer.
"All right, I'll guard him," Ryouga agreed. Picking with his foot in the torn up floor he found a log of about two meters length, tore it out and started walking back and forth carrying it on his shoulder.
"Hmm, this anchor is foldable," Nabiki noted with idle curiosity as she studied the big iron item lodged in the floor. "So that's how they were hiding it in a barrel!"
( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)
It turned out there were tinkerbats hidden in the town. The whole half a dozen of them. Done with pillaging, they were fleeing, bent under the burden of their loot, when Ranma and the three fiancees stampeded them.
"And that's all?" Akane pouted with disappointment: she never had a chance to hit anyone.
"We tie them up and go looking for Risky," Shantae commanded as she produced ropes with a practiced motion to wrap a tinkerbat bouquet. "These would be useful later, as a proof of work." Finding an empty barrel, she lifted the bouquet with a grunt of exertion to stuff it there, only the heads with blinking yellow eyes sticking out.
The dancer may be weak compared to the Nerima Wrecking Crew but she still could lift about two hundred kilograms.
They ran to the wharf where panicking crowds were scuttling to and fro with gusto. The fish merchant was having a day as many resorted to shopping therapy to calm their nerves.
"And not a trace of Risky," Shantae concluded grimly as she stared at the horizon. "She should now be moving her surprise ship here, but I'm not sure in anything any more."
Suddenly one small ship at the end of the leftmost pier unfurled a sail sporting skull and crossbones on its only mast and pulled off, smoke puffing out of a brass stove-pipe sticking above its cabin.
"But she..." Shantae let out a growling moan of frustration hitting herself in the forehead and hurting her knuckles against the tiara. "She was right in front of us!"
"It's her?" Ranma asked assessing if she could catch it. It was no use: the pier was long while the boat was moving too swiftly to catch it by swimming. "Aw, bugger. She's gone, we can't catch her."
"It's her Tinker Tub." Shantae glared at the tiny ship. "See this beam along the side, howzit..."
"Gunwale," Xian Pu cued her.
"Yeah, this gunk-whale," Shantae continued. "It's red and this... little house in the back has red edges and there is a brass ring riveted to the mast? How could I miss it!"
The boat began turning around. A familiar "Ho-ho-ho" reached across the distance, followed by a cannon blast. A pinkish-purple cannonball flew at the wharf in a high arch. Not too fast, in Ranma's opinion. Shantae unthinkingly stepped in its path to whip it back with a clang. Which, in Xian Pu's opinion, required guts and perfect timing. The cannonball exploded before reaching the boat.
The crowds of citizens began panicking with redoubled gusto, vacating the wharf in the orderly fashion of frightened chicken.
"To the bridge!" Shantae shouted, already running. "We don't want her wrecking the entire port aiming at us!"
The boat followed them after turning in another half-circle. It was clear now that it was being propelled by some sort of engine, the sail being a fancy prop.
On the bridge they were joined by Mimic, Sky, an unfamiliar guy with his hair held up with a yellow ribbon and a huge spiked ball on a chain in his hands, Ryouga and Nabiki.
The boat was closing in. Risky shot a couple more times. One cannonball was beaten away by Shantae, the other one by Ukyou in a fit of bravery.
The boat was close enough that Ranma was going to board it when Risky forestalled her by making a running jump from the bowsprit and gliding the remaining distance on her jhat, holding onto it with both hands like it was some sort of glider.
She then stood, her hand on her hip, surveying the company of ten people with unhealthy fire in her eyes. Bravery or madness? Some sort of killer ace in her sleeve or simply losing it? This person was making everyone nervous, regardless of power and experience.
"Surrender!" Shantae demanded, more to silence her own doubts. "This is my last offer!"
Behind the queen of pirates the small ship was careening, creaking, groaning, puffing steam as it was climbing awkwardly onto the bridge, supported with a pair of crude mechanical legs with wide wooden feet. Its front, it turned out, had a massive metallic lower jaw with blunt teeth. Two huge eyes popped out of the oversized hawse holes, blinking with leathery eyelids and giving the boat a surrealistic and bug-eyed look.
"Meet my Oceanic Steam-powered Tinker Tub," Risky offered. "Mark one. I admit it's a bit on the weak side compared to the Mark Two, not to mention the Tinker Slug..."
"Don't worry! I've beaten your slug, I've beaten your mark two!" Shantae was growing angry. "Me and my friends will beat this one, be sure of it!"
"Oh really?" Risky drawled, the glint in her eye turning unhealthy to the point of disturbing. "And when, may I ask?"
Shantae opened her mouth for some more rebuke but froze, paling rapidly, staring at the pirate lady as if she was seeing a ghost.
The woman laughed heartily, shaking from her laughter and distracting Ryouga and that unfamiliar guy with secondary resonance effects.
"I don't like this at all," Xian Pu said.
"You don't say," Ukyou quipped. "It's only visible from a kilometer away that there's a big, fat catch."
"Could it be," Nabiki voiced everyone's dawning suspicion, "that the Queen of Seven Seas has returned from the future as well?"
"You and me don't age," Risky continued, addressing Shantae paralyzed by shock. "I am half-Rakshasi, you are half-Genie. We cannot guess from each other's appearance from how far in the future we came. This uncertainity, this thrill of the risk... are they bubbling in your blood as well?"
"A year and a week!" Shantae shouted furiously as she shook off her stupor and took a combat stance. "I returned back from one year and one week ahead! And I learned much in that time!"
"Well..." Risky's grin widened, baring teeth. "Let me demonstrate what I learned in these twenty years".
There was a pregnant pause, Shantae gulping audibly.
Then events started happening at breakneck pace.