This story is a work of fanfiction. As such, it owes a great debt to the creators of the characters used herein: Rumiko Takahashi, Matt Bozon, Erin Bell Bozon and the creative teams of Kity Films and WayForward.


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


Chapter 18
Dreaded revelation

The company of hungry girls woke at dawn - minus Sky who had left them yesterday to coddle her eggs - headed towards the familiar dock-side eatery. Nabiki was dressed in her buttoned up archaelogist suit with a fedora, Shantae was in her usual garb, Akane in wooden sandals and karate gi with a hole in her shirt from waist to armpit, tied and tucked ito the belt in such a way to show less skin. Xian Pu was stubbornly refusing anything but a red bikini. The Chinese girl's skin was beginning to darken with tan, she also tucked a flower into her voluminous hair reinforcing the image of an exotic beauty. Akane was stubbornly refusing to react to this irritant.

At the table they met Ranma and Ryouga already having their breakfast, along with exhausted Bolo with bags under his eyes.

"It seems we finished it," The blue haired boy informed them while nodding over his plate. "I just don't know how they plan on getting it out, it barely fits the building."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Shantae jumped up, extremely concerned by this turn. "Did you help them building their... Whatever they built?"

"I'm not that crook-handed!" Her friend took offense. "But no, they did not let me touch the mechanism itself. I was the second banana, also helped making some tools."

Locals began going by them en masse along the wharf towards the warehouses. The Nerimans and Shantae craned their necks trying to see what was the matter from their table under a big canvas umbrella. But the corner of nearby building was in the way. No one even thought of swallowing fast and rushing to watch: the roasted fish was wondrously good today.

A rattling noise of a badly fitted engine began reaching from the direction the curious crowds were flowing in. Then, crunching of wood.

They finished their meal, paid for it and only then did they rush to see what was going on, curiosity gnawing.

A long fanged maw the width of a bus was crawling out of the warehouse gates swaying awkwardly up and down. Rough lines of thick armor slabs criss-crossed with rows of rivets were forming a stylized fanged maw, now closed shut. The more of the muzzle was coming out, the wider it was becoming as it gradually began tearing the frame of the gate with its rough swaying.

"This warehouse is done for," Shantae commented.

"Step aside! Back, I say!" Ammo Baron was shooing the public away while orchestrating the movement of the steel monstrosity with hand gestures. His eyes had bags under them, similar to Bolo's. "The front feet are going to emerge now...! All right, go on, easy! Go, go!" he gesticulated wildly commanding the driver of this... tank?

The mechanical monstrosity rose up, its clutch shrieking, breaking the gate further. The wall to the right of the gate cracked, a huge metal flipper sticking from under the muzzle pushing through it. Throwing this monumental slab forward the tank sagged with a jerk, its muzzle touching the ground. Then it rose jerkily, its weight on the "foot". The wall on the other side of the gate exploded with chunks of wood and plaster when the left foot moved forward, upraised. And right. And left. The entire wall gave, pushed out onto the wharf, shattering into a waterfall of wooden pieces. Ammo Baron kept orchestrating the tank's movement until it flipper "feet" stopped close to the edge of the wharf. The muzzle was overhanging the waves but the hind part still remained inside the warehouse.

The shape of the tank was similar to a bicycle seat or a caiman head: it was widening towards its back sharply. Tall like a two-story house, its stern a time and a half wider than that and about three times longer than it was wide.

Ammo Baron was running around his creation scratching his head and assessing the width of the wharf. Which suddenly seemed horribly narrow.

"That's a problem," Bolo commented. "It could only turn with wheels in its hind feet."

"Wheels?" Xian Pu asked. "Then it has to shuffle back and forward like a parking qiche. But they should have started that earlier. Or am I missing something?"

"I don't know what a 'park kitch' is," the blue-haired guy yawned, "but its wheels are at a right angle. For turning and horizontal aiming. It could only move back and forward in a straight line."

"So it is a primitive walker," Ukyou grasped the bottom line, "like a cheap wind-up toy, and it has little wheels in its hind feet that let it roll left and right? But then this thing turns by swinging its butt around!"

"That's what I said!"

Everyone stared at the tank, which was much longer than the wharf was wide. Then at its stern, still deep inside a building barely wide to fit the mechanical monstrosity.

"Another warehouse is done for," Shantae summed it up, even before Ammo Baron stopped scurrying around and waved to the driver.

The engine clanked up a storm ramping up, something squealed and the wide rounded stern began shifting in their direction, accompanied with wall crunching and sagging roofs creaking.

Xian Pu was right: the tank had to shuffle back and forward a lot to avoid falling off the wharf edge. The wharf itself was creaking, barely holding its weight. The stern ground both warehouses to smithereens.

And still the left flippers and the left side of the stern were overhanging the sea dangerously while the right ones were threatening to dig furrows in the facades of the surviving warehouses.

"Bet they haven't even thought of how to get this thing out?" Ranma said.

"Naw," Nabiki dismissed him. "Too obvious."

"Yo," Risky Boots greeted them from behind, so suddenly even Ranma jumped. How did she sneak up on them so silently?

The pirate lady was floating down holding the hat inflated into a bubble with both hands. Releasing the headwear she landed on the wharf. The pirate hat deflated flopping precisely onto her head.

"I need all of you," the pirate queen said without preamble. She then snapped her fingers with a dramatic flair.

Tinkerbats began crawling out of everywhere: from barrels, from fish on the fish vendor's stand, from folds of the canvas overhangs. One even emerged from someone's voluminous hairdo. They swarmed pulling tarp off — and one totally unremarkable fishing boat turned out to be the Oceanic Tinker Tub, Mark One.

"Ready for battle?" Risky cast assessing eyes across the heroes. "Won't suddenly have an 'oops, I haven't collected three threads of penguin teeth for weapon upgrade' moment?"

"I'm always ready," Ranma puffed his chest.

Ryouga just flexed his mighty shoulder, his iron club resting there. They couldn't make a fitting baudric for this thing.

"My gi isn't fixed yet," Akane admitted trying to hide the hole reaching her armpit.

"Don't worry," Shantae showed her a roll of red fabric, needle and thread. "We'll fix it on our way!"

"On our way?" Ranma squinted.

"To the place of... rest," Shantae explained in a roundabout way.

"I calculated that," Hypno Baron said floating up to them, "either we reinforce the seal before noon or we expect a guest during the second half of the day. In light of us having..." He glanced back at the tank, which awkwardly gored the facade of one of the surviving warehouses while careening dangerously over the edge of the wharf, accompanied with panicked scurrying of Ammo Baron. "..a little snag delivering our superweapon to the presumptive battleground, postponing the battle until tomorrow or later would be preferable."

"So we can expect a battle with he-whom-everyone-feared-so-much?" Xian Pu said. "About time."

"All aboard!" Risky commanded striding towards her little ship.

"Bolo," Shantae stopped her friend. "I understand, but you'd better go away to sleep it off. You put your share in already, it is in that sprawled armored thing over there. I won't take a sleepy man who barely keeps his eyes open to a mortal battle. That's it, scram. If the Pi— you know who comes here, he'll wake you up. Your time will come yet."

Bolo left grumbling huffily.

"Big Sis..." Akane tried the same trick with Nabiki.

"No." The middle Tendou bared her teeth as she pulled her hat over her eyes. "I refuse to give up. I... There are no words to describe this. It's like I stand one step away from the top, wild forest full of beasts ahead of me, peaceful and boring life behind me. If I make even one step back, I could never reach the top."

"This is the true path of a martial artist," Ranma made a decision not to stay silent. "The path to mastering ki. In martial arts, there is raising your skill through training, polishing your techniques — and then there is breakthrough that raises your ki proficiency. And one simple fact that the school masters hide behind muddy philosophism and hoard this secret like dog in the manger: there is no way to raise your ki proficiency without pushing yourself to your limits, in real danger that. In theory, there is meditation, but you could meditate until your hair turns gray and reach less than a third of my current ki proficiency. Thus Pops' training methods. And Old Ghoul's."

He turned to look Akane in the eye. "Just remember how training in `Breaking Point` goes. The path of a martial artist is fraught with peril. We, the strong, are so rare because not every one survives. Why do you think your father wasn't letting you become stronger? There is no safe way, while he's afraid of the very thought of losing you. Nabiki..." He cast an assessing glance at the middle sister. "She's probably close to a breakthrough. I ain't trained for making sense of such details — but her ordeal the day before yesterday must have dislodged something from the starting point. But..."

He turned back to the middle sister, looking at her severely. "Nabiki, are you sure you ready to bet your life? That... resting-in-peace-one we are going to visit is a terribly powerful thing. While what you feel pulled towards often becomes a 'breakthrough or death' lottery. Even more so without old masters orchestrating things."

"You ask if I'm ready?" Nabiki pulled her hat back up, closed her eyes. "I spent the entire day yesterday thinking. Could I, while standing on the other shore of the Senzu river, looking back overt the waters at the life I'd never have anymore, could I say I do not regret my choice? Oh, I would no doubt berate myself for a tactical blunder, for zigging instead of zagging... But my decision not to retreat — no, I do not regret it." She opened her eyes, her eyes meeting Akane's. "While I'm still on this shore, Little Sis... Yes, I am ready."

"I understand." Akane nodded. She was clearly uncomfortable. "Big Sis, don't die, all right...? But then... Ranma, promise the same for me."

The pigtailed one choked on his prepared words. He clenched his teeth. He closed his eyes, breathed out...

"Yes. You have my word. I— won't fight your opponents unless you ask. Heard that, pork breath?"

"Ranma, bastard..." Ryouga growled. "I... Akane-san, I too... I won't. If you fall in battle, I'd tear their throats out with my teeth. Then find them in Hell and do it again. But, Ranma... Promise me yo will be training her defense. Otherwise. I. Will. Kill. You.

Xian Pu harrumphed with approval.

"I wonder when did my breakthroughs happen?" Shantae said with melancholy. "I was wandering into all sorts of dangerous places at such a young age and with my skills lacking so much it's a miracle I'm still alive. Poor Uncle Mimic! I so understand him now... Then it was easier, easier, I did not even think why I was becoming stronger, jumping higher... I thought it was natural. But it turns out it was ki proficiency all along."

Ukyou felt like an outlier, not ready for such seriousness. Become stronger or die...? Well, her training was radical enough, she had some basic ki proficiency, but she never even thought of such uncompromising drive to become stronger. What use is power for a free traveling merchant? What use is power where street smarts decide, along with the skill of fooling avaricious officials, the skill of finding fresh ingredients for a lower price, to outdo competitors in cooking matters?

For the first time her dream world where she and Ranma, with a gaggle of kids, lived in an okonomiyaki bakery of their own... Developed a crack becoming duller, losing its fairy-tale luster. Ran-chan, the real, awesome one, was not matching the perfect Ran-chan of her dreams, not fitting the picture, stretching it, making it creak.


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


The little ship was running across the sea in rays of the rising sun, its mechanisms creaking and puffing quietly. The brass smoke pipe was leaving a noticeable trail of white smoke.

"It moves a bit jerkily," Xian Pu noticed the barely perceptible unevenness of the ship's motion. "I thought a screw should push more evenly? Or is there some sort of trick?"

"A screw?" Risky said, surprised. "You mean Archimedes's screw...? No, my tub paddles with its feet like a duck. Left, right, left, right." She patted the gunwale proudly.

"Then... The steam engine is not spinning an axle with a flywheel on it?"

"Why such a fifth wheel," Risky smiled smugly, "when you can make pistons drive the legs directly?"

"Right-o!" Xian Pu enthused. "Too many an inventor could not break out of the pattern they are used to, then add extra complexities on top. And goodbye simplicity and reliability."

"Come on, you flatterer. What do you want?"

"Could you spare a glass of hot water?"


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


Xian Pu in her cat form emerged proudly from the aftercastle. White, fuzzy, with defined bangs, pink coloring on her ears, tip of the tail and "socks" on her paws. She loitered a bit attracting attention, then suddenly began jumping to and fro, twirling and stomping around.

Nabiki was watching the spectacle with one brow raised. Ranma with caution. Akane with wary disbelief. Ryouga haven't noticed, deep in his brooding. Shantae narrowed her eyes beginning to figure it out.

Then there was a white and pink sabertooth lynx prancing across the deck instead of a white and pink house cat.

Ranma started, then shivered.

"What?!" Akane's eyes bulged.

"How did you— Ohhh!" Shantae enthused coming closer to take a good look at the transformed Xian Pu. "So by daincing in your magical creature form... Did you figure this out yourself...? Or not. You probably visited the Dance Spirit, right?"

The lynx spun and pranced around a bit, showing off. After rubbing against Ranma's legs with a deep purr — his pigtail stuck straight — she disappeared in the aftercastle. She returned in her human form, dressed in the red bikini that was to Akane like a red cloth to a bull.

"So how's my dance, oh spouse of mine?" The barely clothed beauty smiled as she `accidentally` wrapped herself around his shoulder. "That was just the beginning!"

"Uh... Amazing..." The pigtailed one imagined a full-sized tigress cozying up to him, in all too graphic detail.

"Yeah, I really need a cat-girl dance," Xian Pu admitted detaching herself from him with great reluctance. "Only then will everything work!"

She moved away but did not stop pressing, sitting on the railing of the poop deck and combing her hair in poses so show-off every one was worthy of a pin-up.

Risky, it seems, was amused by their antics. The pirate lady was standing on the poop deck leaning on the steering wheel languidly and looking around from time to time.

Shantae grunted in frustration watching Ranma trying to avert his eyes without success and Akane steaming up towards the boiling point. She then suggested, trying to distract her friend: "Let's patch your combat jacket up while we have the time, all right?"

Akane, working her hands under the torn gi jacket, changed the bra to a bikini top, threw the torn jacket off and began cracking her neck flexing her shoulders.

"No, wait!" Shantae jumped dropping the needle and thread. "You can't stretch your neck like that...! Let me show you." She jumped onto her feet. "You stretch your hands forward, cross one forearm over another... Yup, like this. Now you can stretch your neck."

Akane tried it. "You're right, it goes really... softer this way. What sort of technique is this?"

"I don't know the details, just what one doctor showed me, but in such pose everything that should not move gets locked down so you only move parts that you need to move. Much less a risk of pulling something or overloading your vertebrae. Learned this by heart: my neck is vital for my combat worthiness, you know! Were I to pull or pinch anything in there... Bam, I'm a one-winged bird. Even fighting with an arrow in my thigh is easier by far."

The half-Genie sat cross-legged, doing her magic upon a roll of fabric, needle and thread in hand. She was showing her friend how to sew properly, discussing with her in how many layers to fold the fabric and how to stitch it to get a semblance of the durable fabric of the dogi.

Xian Pu was combing her hair with more and more flair, shifting along the gunwale towards Ranma... Like a horror movie monster, moving closer when he wasn't looking.

"If you don't mind," Shantae addressed Ranma as she raised her eyes from her sewing, "What were you looking for in the Spy Scope? How are your folks back home doing?"

Xian Pu snorted at her transparent efforts to distract him. Still, she stopped seducing.

Ranma told them in exaggeratedly comic manner of Nodoka chasing the panda with a sword. He then had to explain the details of the contract, the vow to commit seppukku together if his father fails raising his son into a manly man. The reason he haven't come into open yet, pretending 'cousin Ranko' in front of his mother.

Shantae was listening with fascinated horror, her needle dropped: "But... How could she...? How could she do that to her own child! I will never do such a thing!"

Ranma was, honestly, taken aback. Well, his mother was a good match for his old man, with enough screws loose, but she was his mother none the less... Thinking of her critically just haven't crossed his mind before.

"Because... Your child is someone dearest to you," the half-Genie went on, crestfallen, deaf to the world around her. "Not a copy of yourself, not a toy, not a means to an end... You can't treat them like that... I don't know if I could be a good mother, but I wouldn't... never like that."

Xian Pu felt chill when she applied those words to herself: to get knocked up by Ranma, thus achieving a crushing victory, snaring the slippery husband at last, and... Fast forward a bit further — say, nine months later — could she love a means as much as a decent mother must love her child? Would someone be blessed with a lucky fate if their happiness wasn't in mind at all while conceiving them, only advantage to be gained? A very unpleasant feeling, like stepping into an icy cold patty of liquid karma.

Under Akane's murderous glare, Ranma had to calm Shantae down reassuring her things weren't that bad, no one was going to get really killed, pops was always able to talk himself out and so forth...

No one paid attention to Risky listening with fascination to Ranma's explanations about the metaphysics of worlds interacting with each other, about fairy tales and tale tellers, crossovers and self-inserts, the role of main characters in forming the link.


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


The travel took hours. Akane was sporting gi top with a red segment in a strip from her left armpit to the lapel. The other fiancees and Ryouga were brooding. Ranma was sleeping without a care in the world.

Then, they got to discussing the abilites and counters to he-whom-everyone-was-wary-to-name-what-if-he-hears. But they got caught instead in the topic of arranged marriages, recalling everyone they ever heard of doing it. Nabiki suggested the cause had roots in traditionalism: such clans are often descendants of noble houses.

Ukyou was shattering the frame with the mere fact of her existence: her family wasn't even close to noble despite the okonomiyaki chefs being an old family, blessed with traditions of many generations. But still?

"It's much simpler than you think!" Risky declared with a snort, bored with their arguing going in circles. "The level of ki mastery is inherited by your offspring."

The Nerimans voiced their disbelief: that was so much bull shit!

"Not directly, not right away," the pirate queen explained condescendingly. "But as a potential. No living thing can survive without access to the Qi off the world, and martial artists learn to channel their internal energy commanding it. But very few make an effort to dig deeper, to find the hows and whys. And below it all, there are midichlorians, symbiotic spirit bacteria who live inside all living cells, undetectable by mundane means. When a martial artist achieves a new level of Ki mastery it means their midichlorians multiplied, their number grew in every cell. It will never go down, til the end of life. When a martial artist has a child, the offspring inherits about a third of the parent's midichlorian number. Inactive, they require hard work and rigorous training to awaken them. But that one third of the way is much easier for the offspring to tread. When both the parents are martial artists, their kids inherit their average potential.

"It's like breeding domestic animals." Nabiki grasped the bottom line. "By selecting a pair you get offspring with longer fur or producing more milk... While parents always wish the best for their children — as they see fit."

"Oh, wow..." Akane could only say as she recalled her adventure with that battle dogi, which suddenly let her pummel Ranma. "I must have lots of those mussels-lydians in me, from Daddy and Mommy! Sleeping, not usable."

"So the tradition of our tribe is not just for selecting a father with best heredity," Xian Pu concluded. "But also with as many of those symbionts as possible...? Clever."

"So my human magic is from my Mom and Father?" Shantae wondered looking at her own hands.

"In your case, half-Genie brat," Risky corrected her, "all your midichlorians are from your father. Must have been an epic hero. Your mother, a fully magical creature, gifted you with life and magic — but genetically you are, I bet, an exact copy of your father in his youth. Had he been a girl."

"Wait." Ukyou recognized the pragmatic side. "Then any heir of strong martial artists, even those who never trained, with their potential completely asleep, is a very good catch?"

"So that's why Father was indifferent to whom Ranma chooses: me, Big Sis Kasumi or Little Sis Akane!" Nabiki exclaimed. "Why are you staring at me like that? I am, turns out, a very good catch with huge sleeping potential!" Nabiki cast an exaggeratedly measuring look at Ranma.

Silence stretched on.

The fiancees tensed.

Ranma gulped nervously.

"You can't raise enough money in your entire life," Nabiki brushed him off dismissively like she was discussing weather.

Xian Pu sat down on conveniently close gunwale, her legs suddenly failing her.

Akane face-planted, her hands making warding signs.

Only Ukyou remained gloomy, unperturbed.


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


Weather was gradually worsening. Dark clouds obscured the sky, rising head wind made them furl the sail. The little ship was rolling on rising waves, going steadfastly forward, its mechanisms creaking

"Haa, it was naive thinking we could postpone the inevitable," Risky commented, one boot on the bowsprit, one hand holding the hat down. "So refreshing!"

"I don't know, I am only feeling goosebumps," Shantae admitted. "And bad premonitions."

"But of course!" The pirate lady smirked at her. "This isn't just wind, it is full of refreshing dark magic emanations!"

"Oh." The half-Genie looked back at her friends with uncertainty. "I am a bad hero, after all. I am scared and my knees are shaking. This weather — it's exactly the same as that time when he... uncorked."

"How so?" Akane argued hotly. "You told it yourself: he's the most dreaded boss in human memory. And you know first hand how scary he is. I only know from your stories but my knees are shaking too."

"I ain't scared of anything," Ranma reassured the uncute one, "because a man has no right to. Only, my reflexes don't know that, itching to use the Saotome secret technique. Yeah."

"And rightfully so," Xian Pu surreptitiously hugged the pigtailed one from behind with one arm. "You are not a hero, you are a warrior. Seeking to skedaddle from an unfavorable position, find a favorable one and hit the opponent in the kidneys from the bushes. All as Sun Tsu proscribed."

"Well..." Ranma scratched his head. "I am, of course, going to try making him angry. Feed him a `rising dragon rampage` if occasion presents itself."

"No hoping for a successful outcome, anyone?" Ukyou questioned as she shivered tugging the lapels of her robe closer. The knuckles of her hand squeezing the handle of her battle spatula whitened. "The tank is back home — was building it a waste of time?"

"A chance to seal him still remains." Risky narrowed her eyes. "For a day or two, no more. But if it doesn't work, he won't fight on the islet. He considers it below himself to begin with less than the Sultana's palace. He'll vanish and pop out there."

"Why haven't we left half the team there?" Ranma was indignant at such a tactical oversight.

"What if he does decide to fight on the islet?" Risky countered. "Also, don't forget: the guards are stubborn, suspicious bunch, could have tried throwing you in prison. Until he comes and shows them their real worth, approaching the palace is counter-productive. But most importantly..." She turned to the pigtailed martial artist looking him suddenly in the eyes and thus making him start. "No one but Shantae could do anything against him. Not you, not me, not that Ryouga of yours. If we try, we'd only die tired. Same goes for the tank. Leaving a part of the team wherever the half-Genie brat is not only means sacrificing those people for naught."

"Hey!" Ryouga took offense, frowning.

"Why?" Ranma was suddenly all ears. "What sort of technique does he have?"

"You can't empty an ocean," Risky explained condescendingly. "Not with a bucket, not wth a ship-sized tub, nor with a mountain-sized pail. Just imagine... Shantae fighting in that magic tiara of hers. Fighting for an hour, then another. No matter how many times she gets hit, a full restoration dance and she's fresh like a cucumber again."

"Green and pimpled?" the half-Genie quiped waving the said tiara in the air. "Because after two hours in this thing I would surely be."

"Now imagine," Risky continued unflinchingly, "a creature whose source of magic is weaved into his very rotten soul. Inseparably. Who draws power from the darkness of the Creation itself and whose wounds heal constantly. Destroy his body and he'd spawn a new one in an hour. In fact—" She froze momentarily, struck by some realization, tapping at the bone ornament of her top where breasts clad in purple silk protruded from the eye-sockets of a stylized skull. "No, it couldn't be that easy. Anyway, this thing is possibly a small trump. I must hurry..." And the Pirate Queen disappeared into the aftercastle leaving Ranma wondering.

Half an hour passed with weather gradually worsening, darkness falling under low clouds flying to meet them. Everyone was apprehensive, except Ryouga who looked ahead with calmness of fatalism. Even the tinkerbat manning the helm was growing nervous and jittery, applying course corrections more and more often.

Risky Boots emerged from the cabin. She had replaced her outfit with beige flaring pants and a dark violet crop vest the same style Shantae wore, with a beige topic. Instead of the hat, her head was wrapped in a red kerchief, a wavy mane falling from under it reaching her shoulder blades. To the nerimans' surprise it was the same shade of purple as Shantae's.

In her hand the pirate queen was carrying — holding it far away like a dead rat — her skull ornament nailed to a big silver dish inscribed with magic wards. The bone of the ornament was likewise covered with symbols glowing with soft golden light.

"Yeech. Boy, this light magic of yours stinks." Risky handed Shantae the dish, stepped away and wiped her hand against the gunwale. "Hold it and never let it go. Mayhaps it helps. Now..." She began pulling pirate items from her ki space throwing them at the heroine — who was catching them and replacing in her own ki space. "The hat. The pistol. The scimitar. The cannon..." She took off her boots, remaining barefoot. "The boots."

"Wait!" the half-Genie panicked as she hid the last item, the dish with the skull still firmly in her left hand. "Don't tell me you are going to—"

"Some moments are worth repeating." Risky interrupted her. "Don't fret about me. Just imagine: what if he, too...?"

Shantae gasped, her eyes growing wide in horror: "But then...!"

"Then you know," Risky interrupted her sharply, "what not to do for as long as possible!"

What those two were arguing about, what sort of vital detail were they discussing, it remained mystery for the rest because the shape of a rocky islet appeared from the gloom ahead, framed by foamy breakers of surf.

"We land at the leeward side," Risky commanded the tinkerbat. "Then again, hand the helm to me. Scram, shoo, dismissed!"

She directed the small ship towards the rocky shore, found a tiny pebby beach squeezed between cliff faces and made the Tinker Tub walk ashore, controlling it via levers sticking next to the wheel.

The Tinker Tub shuffled a bit and laid down. The crunching of pebbles ceased. A puff of smoke erupted from the brass smoke-stack, as if the small ship let out a breath. Everything went still. Only the roar of the surf and the howling of wind remained, which felt like a ringing, ominous silence. The ambiance of this place was oppressive, making fear snake into your heart. Inciting a palpable urge to abandon everything, throw yourself into the waters and swim away with all your might.

"Lonely Grave," Risky Boots introduced gesturing across the unwelcoming landscape. "A thoroughly lost island carefully erased from all maps and enchanted so hard it seemed no one would ever find it. Such irony!" She jumped down to the ground.

The rest followed her, cautious and sneaking, to the top of the islet.

"Look up," Xian Pu advised Ranma.

"Whoa." The pigtailed one shivered. "I haven't felt such energy even from Herb, even when he smeared the sky with his Ki, so much that just a small fraction was enough for me to devise a cool technique to flatten him with. But here, it feels like the god of wind himself is stirring..."

The storm clouds above the islet were rolling, bulging, bearing down like an unnatural knot - only to disperse with the wind. Equally in all directions away from here. This island, it was the source of the storm, emanating bad weather and shrouding the sea in darkness.

"This is nothing," Shantae 'reassured' her friend, her voice shaky. "When it covers all of the Sequin Land, drowns it in darkness and from that darkness tar monsters and muckmen come in numbers uncountable, that's when it gets real..."

On the peak, a short flight of stone stairs led to a massive tombstone with a skull carved on it. A chunk of broken mast was lodged between rocks nearby, black pirate flag flapping in the wind. It had the same skull on it, no bones.

"Well.." Risky narrowed her eyes, standing side by side with Shantae. Their outfits nearly identical, with similar hair, those two differed sharply in their height, the pirate lady a whole head higher. "Go on, try holding this thing against the tombstone."

The half-Genie hurried to do that. The dish got stuck, covering the carved skull. The wards on it and the bone mask lit up, flashing and flickering. Wind died down like it was cut off, the pirate flag settling limp like a rag. Unnatural silence fell, one could hear their own breath, barest rustle of one's clothing, grinding of a grain of sand underfoot.

"Did it work?" Ukyo whispered, her voice raspy, the handle of her battle spatula creaking in her clenching hand.

The ground shook. The storm clouds began descending, lighting the world with lightning flashes — all in total silence and still air, eerily unnatural.

"Skedaddle, now!" Ranma shouted. "Hide in the rocks, then—"

He didn't have time to finish. Roaring wind brought them to their knees making them hold onto the ground with all their extremities. The ground was shaking with a deep rumble, bucking like a raging bull trying to throw them off its back.

There was a sharp crack and the quake ceased, only wind was roaring with tripled strength and storm clouds roiling, flying away in all directions. The Nerimans, Shantae, Risky, everyone stood up.

The tombstone was gone. From a hole in uts place, a transparent column of greenish-purplish emanations was streaming into the sky, some sort of purple snot floating up inside gradually gathering into a large lump.

"Your brazenness commands admiration," the wind howled in otherworldly echoes. "But your efforts are futile."

Risky grew recalcitrant, her teeth grinding.

"It didn't," Ukyou stated the obvious.

The purple snots was floating up faster sticking together into a figure akin to a legless ghost. Arms stretched out growing long, formless fingers. Two baleful lights flashed into existence on the head as it bulged out.

"Not so fast!" Ryouga threw a bandanna. Ukyou followed suit with a throwing spatula.

Both missiles simply stuck in the formless snot, rotting and rusting away in the stream of otherworldly energies. Bluish streams of vapors began circling the melty figure, solidifying into haphazardly floating bones. Ribs, vertebrae - all of these were bobbing, floating chaotically, drifting slowly toward rightful places.

"Tiger Domineering!"
"Lion Roar Blast!"

Two synchronous ki blasts hit the column of emanations... Like two balloons hitting a cactus. Popped powerlessly, shreds of dispersing Ki carried upwards spinning in the greenish-purplish stream. The boss did not even dignify the martial artists with attention.

Shantae threw her hand forward, but held herself back, biting her lip.

The quickly forming monstrosity caught the bone mask, which had detached from the dish, slapped it onto its head... Turns out it was its face all along! Yellow eyes glared from under bony eye ridges, crooked teeth lengthened framing the formerly formless glowing gap of a mouth. Red kerchief wrapped itself around the bare skull. The Pirate Master flexed his jaw, his eyes firmly on Risky. Ribs snapped into place forming a massive rib-cage around the purple mass. Dark cloak unfurled from massive shoulders. Hip bone materialized under the spinal column, from it down, legs in dark trousers, bare bones of feet sticking out. Bone cages, something between a rib-cage and a maw, surrounded the massive forearms containing the purple mass. Purple fingers gained definition sharpening into claws.

The stream of emanations ceased. A grotesque, five meter tall figure landed on the ground, the bones of its feet making a dry clack against stone. Dark cape was taut around bulging shoulders, hanging down to the bottom edge of the rib-cage where it ended in tatters. Below that, there was only the spinal column growing out of bare hip-bone girdled with a red sash. The disproportionately long arms were reaching below knees, bare bone above elbows.

"So, demon and undead, shampoo and conditioner two in one?" Xian Pu noted. "Cute."

"Small and insignificant ones, all right." Nabiki grumbled. "So like her."

"Tiger Domineering!"
"Lion Roar Blast!"

The boss gestured and two grotesque flowers burst out of the ground, bone cups on spinal columns. The Ki blasts hit them, shattering to pieces, while the opponent didn't even look at the martial artists. Incensed from such dismissal, Ranma and Ryouga moved to meelee. Pounced, ducked, rained powerful blows. Ranma was flitting, untouchable, hitting at joints. Ryouga was hammering the ribs with his iron club.

Pirate Master didn't even twitch: broken bones were instantly growing back in wisps of bluish smoke while the purple mass bounced all blows, springy like perfect rubber. Ryouga got into rage, lost attention due his opponent's passiveness... And flew away after missing a sucker punch from a huge purple fist. The enemy held his club with two fingers, twirled it like a cane, then threw it away with contempt. Ranma jumped back, reassessing.

Xian Pu looked back at Shantae, only intent of joining battle when she joins. But the local purplette was just frowning, clenching her fists, obviously thinking of something.

Akane had a good stock of her chances, trembling.

"This is not his true form," Shantae 'reassured' her friend. "It's like when I transform into a mouse."

"Yeah." Akane gulped.

"Did you really think," Pirate Master addressed Risky, his voice resonating like wind howling across tombstones, "that number of heroes has any meaning?"

Shantae started, tensing suddenly, which made others tense in turn.

"You belong to me, nothing could change that!" the boss reached out with his left hand. Risky Boots was lifted into the air, attracted to the huge hand like magnetized. An instant later she was clenched in a fist, only her head, shoulders and bare feet visible.

But Shantae still hovered in indecision, biting her lip, starting, visibly desperate to join the battle but holding herself back.

"Hah, the same naive little girl." The great boss grinned, triumph flashing in his baleful yellow eyes. Risky clenched her teeth, glaring back with hatred. "Beating me at my own game? I am transcendent being! Your Genie magick is powerless to befuddle me, the only reason I haven't became a god yet is my disdain towards fussing over all those believers and their prayers! Behold the failure of your plan!" He reached out with his right hand this time.

Now it was Shantae's turn to be lifted into the air.

Akane jumped with desperation, managed to grab where she could — at the edge of the trousers on Shantae's back. She, too, was lifted into the air. Ranma and Xian Pu grabbed the youngest Tendou's legs, heaving, finally arresting the two's ascent. Luckily, Akane had iron grip wile the metal clasps on the half-Genie's hips were quite sturdy. The trousers only slid a palm's width down, stopping on the edge of decency, accompanied with creaking of fabric stretched taut. Nabiki unfurled her whip, caught Shantae's ponytail and heaved as well, pulling her head back.

Pirate Master clenched his fist. The half-Genie cried out in disgust, writhing, when pirate items began flying out of her. He was forcefully tearing them out of her Ki space somehow. The hat settled on the enemy's head enlarging to appropriate scale. The scimitar went onto his waist. The pistol, on the other side. The cannon took its place upon his shoulder. And, finally, the boots.

Fully equipped, the boss lowered his hand, now even more imposing in full regalia. The heroes fell in a heap.

"Yeech, pawed all over my soul," Shantae hissed angrily as she jumped onto her feet and straightened her trousers with fury.

"Still hoping?" The boss clenched Risky so hard she gasped involuntarily as he brought her up to his grinning bony face. "You, she-hero!" Pirate Master turned to face Shantae, in the same motion grasping Risky by the ears between two fingers of his right hand. "Give me the lamp or I wring her neck!"

Ranma and Xian Pu dashed, intent on hitting the enemy in his elbows.

"Halt!" the half-Genie shouted gesturing them to stop. "Don't interfere!"

"Don't even think releasing the dark magic," the boss warned. "Give me the lamp... as it is. Or she dies!"

Friends and allies stared at the half-Genie. She was trembling in tension, looking at the enemy with horror in her eyes. Then, she shouted: "Do not despair! Even if he strengthens himself with this dark magic, we could beat him! I believe in Risky's plan!" She pulled the lamp out and threw it at the boss.

He caught it between two fingers and laughed: "Fool," he rumbled looking at Risky clenched in his fist. "Your pawns are so blind, so... predictable. Your trumps..." He shook the lamp, tiny in his grotesquely huge fingers, in front of her face. "All ran out! Now you will lean true meaning of despa—"

He vanished, together with his captive, fading into black vertical lines.

Shantae kept standing, awfully tense, for a second longer. Then she let out a breath, relaxing.

"Why weren't we doing anything?" Xian Pu demanded.

"We had to beat him at his own game, make him believe everything repeats," Shantae explained haphazardly. "Being treacherous is so, so very hard. Lying is one thing but I had to weave falsehood from truth!"

"You mean he is from the future as well?" Nabiki grasped the bottom line.

"Yes." Shantae nodded. "Or he is simply so mighty the Genie magic failed to rewind his time fully. But he miscalculated." The half-Genie smiled with grim determination. "He doesn't know that my magic is with me this time!"

"Could he release Happousai?" Ranma inquired, worrying.

"Nope!" Shantae grinned vengefully. "He thinks the lamp is full of my light magic and that I think that the lamp is full of his dark magic. Wow, I was such a blind pawn of Risky's that time around..."

"Wouldn't he get wise?" Nabiki worried. "Who knows how good his magic senses are?"

"Let's hope he would not," Shantae said. "He has lots to do: torturing Risky... I hope she weathers it like the last time. Beating Sultana's guard, remaking the palace into a nightmarish bastion of bones, living flesh and spikes... Brr... That time, the magic in the lamp felt like dark, it became light only at the moment of release. It was such a mighty surprise for me!"

"So we managed to lull the enemy into complacence," Xian Pu said. "And we now have a trump he is sure we don't?"

"Just so," the half-Genie agreed slamming her fist against her palm. "Now we only have to challenge him and keep hitting him in his ugly mug until he falls! Must plan which transformations to use and how to keep getting close, he'll surely correct all his former mistakes. But that time I only had the pirate items, without my magic. That is, until he got tired of it and sucked all items out of me. Then he himself was making me convenient ladders out of bones while trying to overwhelm me with clones. Hmm..."

"With clones...? You will tell me about all his techniques!" Ranma demanded. "On our way back, I'll keep shaking you like a pear tree until you remember everything. All my techniques I have tried so far were like hitting water with paper. And his aura, it's neither hot nor cold but nauseating of sorts. Unless I think up some trick, the `Rising Dragon Rampage` simply won't work."

"The bastard is quick," a slightly bruised Ryouga added emerging from behind rocks. "But wussy. Ranma sometimes hits harder."

"He'll grow as tall as Sultana's palace yet," Shantae warned, completely unimpressed with his boasting.

"I see," Xian Pu quiped. "So wussy you only were knocked out til now."

"By the way, the villain's face..." Ukyou recalled. "Was Risky wearing his actual face as clothing all that time?"

"Believe it or not, she was," Shantae waved her curiosity aside, focused on other things. "Now, how was I controlling the tub that time around?" She strode towards the shore. "We must hurry!"

"There's a special tinkerbat there for that," Ranma reminded her.

"Forget tinkerbats," Shantae warned. "They belong to Pirate Master now. At best, we won't see any, at worst—"

"We get some workout," Ryouga finished instead, glad to see a row of couple dozen black midgets barring their way, bristling with cutlasses.

"Leave some for me," Nabiki demanded unfurling her whip.


( 。◕ シーンブレイク ◕。)


Published in Russian: January 09, 2022. Translated to English: June 17, 2022.

A/N: I was planning on holding this chapter back, along the next two, until I finish them all, because being slow as I am really disrupts the flow (the next chapter isn't even partly written yet, with me having been focused on the ending). But with uncertainty of this era... I decided to live my life to its fullest, publish chapters whenever I finish them and stop planning much in advance. After all, if I die tomorrow (surviving COVID puts things in perspective), all that work ahead, five chapters worth of finale and sequel, would just go to waste.

A/N #2: In my opinion (as of June 2022) the "Shampoo" pun is inappropriate and unfunny, went too far for too long.

Xian Pu's name (珊璞) in her native language means Coral (珊 shān - coral; 璞 pú - natural uncut jewel). Which is known to anyone reading the original manga because at her first appearance "シャンプー" in Ranma's speech bubble is furigana (a superscript denoting pronounciation) for the main text "珊璞".

In my fic, two different forms are used. "Shampoo" spoken (and thought) by Nerimans, "Xian Pu" by anyone else, including the author.