This story is a work of fanfiction. As such, it owes a great debt to the creators of the characters used herein: Rumiko Takahashi, Matt Bozon, Erin Bell Bozon and the creative teams of Kity Films and WayForward.

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

Chapter 21
Laughing matter

The Ammo Town underwent radical change in the time that took the sun to set. From a ghost town where grim silence reigned supreme and seemingly nothing alive remained, to a brightly lit festival under the night sky. The townsfolk poured out onto the streets celebrating the passing of a threat that loomed over them for generations. They lit bonfires, they lit oil in braziers, laughing, dancing and congratulating each other. The wharf was a full-on folk festival, piers decorated with paper lanterns. All cafes were open, cooking fish with such enthusiasm like they werebset on burning through a month's worth of it in one night, The air was filled with maddening aromas making your stomach make a fit. Because the cooks were intent of overcoming themselves, inspired by the victory.

The nature unfroze too, squawks and hoots sounding at times from the darkness of night thicket outside the walls, not to mentions cicadas who resumed their eternal chirr. Warm breeze was ruffling palm crowns, intervining their quiet rustling with sounds of music coming from all sides. The tune of violins and clarnets, chimes of citras strings, a drumming rhythm from some sort of percussion instruments. This world did not know sound recording, nor radio broadcasts, all music was live. People took instruments and played for their friends and neighbors, for anyone who loved their art. Somewhere it was an off-key amateurish flute, in other places, a well played orchestra worthy of a concert hall. But all was from the heart, to lift the hearts of others.

Shantae was flitting from place to place dancing here and there, gladly replying to the townsfolk's greetings. The ammonians were celebrating as well, sitting in the largest square with the look of victorious heroes. Ammo Baron threw his blue coat off and was downing a foamy mug after foamy mug while telling tall tales, muscles bulging under his t-shirt.

Xian Pu tasted another drink offered to her. Finding yet another variation of the same cross-breed of sour milk and sparkling water, with added banana this time. It was cool, it was tasty but it wasn't what she wanted. Celebrating called for something stronger. She stopped a guy scuttling around with a tray of drinks to ask him for wine. She was met with complete lack of understanding. She asked maybe they had moonshine. He replied with uncomprehending doe eyes. Resigned, she demanded beer. She got the already familiar root beer. Tasty, sure, but calling this drink made from the stonebreaker weed "beer"...

"You won't get any." Nabiki approached her, dressed in a bikini with a pareo skirt like the one Sky wears and a towel thrown over her shoulders. "They don't have anything alcohol-based in principle. Remember, Akane called nega-Shantae drunk but she didn't get it? Turns out it simply did not translate. Their language lacks words related to alcohol."

"How comes?" The amazon nearly choked on her root beer.

"It surprised me as well," the middle Tendou said gesturing with a stick of some roast as if it was a director's baton. "Until I recalled there are peoples whose religion forbids it."

"You think so?" Xian Pu took a look around watching the townsfolk. They were celebrating, having fun, dancing ring dances, clapping. "They don't look like bores to me, nor like prudes. Although... Let's ask Shantae later. One could celebrate without wine just fine. Let's go dance."

And the Chinese girl joined the half-Genie dancing in a circle of empty space, to perform a daring sword dance, a flickering circle of one amazon and scimitars blurring in motion.

The effect of two drop-dead gorgeous, barely dressed girls dancing in sharply contrasting styles was so knock-out powerful that the crowd started stomping, hooting and jumping with such energy that the ground began shaking.

"Less intensity!" Shantae hissed worriedly glancing around. "We don't want the double mint effect!"

"Double mint?" Xian Pu lifted her brow.

"I'll tell you later," the half-Genie replied. "A very tragic story..." She saw the former mayor in the crowd. "Oh! Scuttlebutt!" She began making her way towards the rotund shorty. "It's time to return the city back to normal. I know how, now!"

Reaching her goal the half-Genie stopped to grandstand: "My Good Sir Scuttlebutt, let me banish your sorrows! In that future whence I came, I managed to turn Ammo Town back into Scuttle Town, by simply fulfilling your wish!"

"What, really?" the shorty perked up, wiped sweat under his turban in nervous agitation. "But how?"

"It was the first wish in my life I have fulfilled!" Shantae proclaimed with pride and a hint of nostalgia. "And I am going to do it again! Was planning to from the very beginning, in fact! All this iron," She gestured at the cannons and riveted armor plates that had replaced the normal onion dome roofs, "will simply vanish without a trace. Ammo Baron will run with his tail between his legs, the bottom-feeding scalawag he is. Because Genie magic is not some parlor tricks, it could rearrange the reality itself!"

After finishing this inspiring speech, the half-Genie closed her eyes in concentration.

The eyes of the gray-haired rotund shorty shone with hope like he was five again and his mom brought him to a pastry shop.

Shantae began glowing around the edges, an aura of white light surrounding her.

Those townsfolk who had heard her speech were looking around, afraid of missing the moment when the town goes back to what it was before.

The glow faded. The half-Genie stood still with her eyes closed, frowning more and more.

"Something went wrong," Nabiki whispered her observation.

The pause was stretching.

"It doesn't work?" Akane was shifting in her worry.

"Don't breathe under master's arm." Ukyou tugged the other girl's sleeve.

"A moment..." Shantae was frowning stubbornly, one could see her eyes flitting under her eyelids. "I only have to dowse the—"

She began shining again, sparkling around her outline, brighter and brighter, gathering power with a stubborn growl. She lifted into the air beginning to float...

Aane bit her lip, her fists clenched.

"Coome ooon..." Shantae threw her head back, her light fckering brighter but more and more unstable. It looked like she was bent backwards by a spasm, her ligaments creaking audibly accompanied with some sort of ethereal whine.

The former mayor's expression of joyous anticipation melted off his features, replaced with worry.

The glow flashed brilliantly and died, falling apart into white sparks that were making whoopie cushion sounds where they landed.

The half-Genie dropped awkwardly landing on one knee. She was nearly crying: "But I promised!"

"What's wrong?" Nabiki inquired, composed and cold like a surgeon. "Some rule you were unaware of?"

"Yes..." Shantae was avoiding eye contact. "Turns out, the same wish cannot be fulfilled twice. Here... in this timeline, no one fulfilled it ever. But in the future I came from, it is already fulfilled. And... It's like trying to bake a pie from the flour you had already used to make batter and bake a pie. The stuff necessary to weave the... thingamazigzag is missing but the thingamazigzag itself is already there... And no amount of power would help when you simply got nothing to work with..."

Scuttlebutt, himself on the verge of tears of disappointment, tried consoling her none the less. It wasn't working. Akane wanted to, but didn't see a way. The trap of the lack of knowledge played a very dirty prank on her friend: in such situations, saving one's face is... Not possible.

"Belay your moping!" commanded an unfamiliar old lady in a gray headscarf who emerged from a rich mansion. An old lady in an insanely expensive gray headscarf embroidered with silver thread, Nabiki's skills registered.

Behind the old lady two burly men were carrying a massive secretaire on twisting carved legs. Following her command, they put it in the middle of the street, flung the slightly dusty cover open... Placed a kettlebell on the frying pan...

Whut...?

The Nerimans focused their attention. It turned ot to be not a secretaire but some sort of tinker mechanism, lots of cogs under the glass tabletop. A flower-shaped copper horn unfolded from the side. The old lady, maenwhile, was unclasping latches on a flat tall box with an arched top. With utmost care she extracted, as they first thought, a round of cheese. But no, it was a gramophone disc almost three fingers thick made of some transparent material.

"But Sweetgold, you've been keeping it for..." Scuttlebutt grew worried.

"Was I hoarding it?" the old lady looked at him. "Yes, how could I not..." She gently ran her gnarled fingers across the disc that looked like it was suffused with moonlight. "So many memories are tied to this melody... It was cheering us up in good times and soothing in bad. His eyes were shining with such a special light when he was listening to it..." She stopped the former mayor from speaking by a sharp gesture. "Doesn't matter now. I can't take it with me into the beyond. Besides, the enchantment on this wax is almost gone. It could only play one last time. You... You need it more."

She put the tonearm on the disc not listening to any objections.

The kettlebell went slowly down, the disc started spinning, and melody flowed out of the copper horn, coming strong through any hissing ant popping.

The slow and prim weave of bassy drawling from not-exectly-violins and rolling chords of citras touched your very heart. Carrying you with it, letting you feel the pulse of life and the rapid flow of time which there is never enough of.

Other melodies were falling silent, people coming from nearby streets to listen.

The melody carried you like a stream, unveiling the eternal fragility of existence, the unhurried pace of millennia and the fleeting breath of human life. Soothing your sorrows, helping you accept the inevitable and giving you strength to accomplish what you could.

Was it a minute or an eternity, they couldn't tell for how long they stood listening to it transfixed.

Everything has its end. The record ended as well. The tonearm clicked as it came up, the turntable began slowing... And the disc crumbled, flowing apart into tiny crumbles with the tinkling of a half-thawed spring ice.

"So, young man?" the old lady patted the gray haired shorty's shoulder. "Are you feeling better now?"

He nodded with a sigh: "In truth... I'm so tired of being a mayor. It's about time for me to retire... I'll go work part-time as a scribe, or go visit my in-laws,thelp them growing cabbage..." He turned to face Shantae. "Thank you for your good intent. Don't feel bad it didn't work. Our townsfolk could thrive even in this, new town: I lived in it much more than you, there were so many strange things happening, everything turning upside down so many times... But people still live here."

He left.

"This melody..." Nabiki shivered, despite the warm tropical night. "Makes you remember that you're mortal and everything has its end. Not like that time, but—"

"That it does," Shantae agreed, uncharacteristically melancholic. "That it does. Heroing around is great, but I still have to find a husband and raise kids... But I haven't even began figuring what would I want of my future spouse!"

"What have I achieved this year?" Ukyou grumbled.

"Let's say, I become the best," Ranma thought aloud. "But after that? Wife, kids, all that jazz, that's a given. But to simply deposit myself and ossify next to it all, like the old man Tendou...?"

"Thank you, granny." Akane was the only one with the decency to be grateful. "That made me remember my Mom again... But... I won't be feeling sad about her anymore. I will do my best to bring her joy when she is looking after me... Thank you."

"What wonder was it?" Xian Pu asked quietly. "I saw some magical melodies and enchanted musical instruments, but this was—"

"Echoes of Eternity, played by a quartet of old men from the faraway Magaribh," the old lady explained wiping a tear. "The music sheets are old world legacy, you can find them even today, but no one else, ever, could play it like that. When I was a girlie younger than you, those records were selling like hot buns. Very expensive hot buns, mind you... But you are wrong. The melody itself doesn't have a drop of magic in it, the only enchantment that was there was making the wax hard like glass. But the melody itself... Pure human talent coming from the heart, nothing more." She then addressed the burly men standing there, lost: "Carry this to Mimic, let him scrap it for parts. Tell him: we'll figure payment later, there is no hurry."

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

The celebration continued, very few people noticing what happened with the young heroes. Who were again strolling, feasting and enjoying festive melodies. Only Shantae wasn't dancing anymore, uncharacteristically melancholic. Which didn't stop her from nomming on tasty morsels with gusto

When they were all full to the point of being stuffed, celebrating was dying down, the lights dimming, and the sky showed first hues of sunrise, they headed towards the lighthouse, intent on dropping like stones and falling asleep.

And suddenly found Ryouga trudging in the opposite direction, brooding.

"Ah, Ryouga-kun!" Akane exclaimed with so much honey in her voice one wanted immediately to batten the hatches down and bury the supplies.

He started, froze in indecision, wishing to get lost. Alas, that ability of his was obviously on a cooldown.

Ranma hiccuped nervously, his eyes shifty.

"Come on, spill." Akane's eyes glinted dangerously, her arm darting like a striking snake to catch the pigtail in a vice grip. "I don't want to foul this fine night but curiosity is gnawing: why were you covering for P-chan? Huh? I saw it: you hate his guts. So what did he use to bewitch you?"

"I, uhhh..." The pigtailed boy was twitchy, his honed reflexes screaming at him: Run! Run, then talk your way out of this tomorrow. The seditious thought about simply explaining himself by talking, like a normal human being, got lost halfway through his attic and was devoured by the martial rats there.

"I..." Ryouga ground out, "I made him give his word... That he'd keep my secret safe..."

"Considering, uh," Ranma added nervously, "me'n Pops are kinda responsible..."

"And you abused it." Akane squinted accusingly as she stared at Ryouga. "Knowing he wouldn't break his word."

"I— I hoped," Ryouga rambled, his hands falling helplessly to his sides, "that someday, somehow, I would be free of the pig..."

"And no one bothered telling me," Akane added bitterly.

"No matter how many times I helped him," Ukyou admitted unashamedly, "All was in vain. Seems like pushing you off onto this oaf wasn't in destiny's plans."

"Alas, I had no idea," Nabiki played innocent so masterfully even Ranma almost believed her. Despite knowing, for a fact, that she had known.

"I am surrounded with swine." Akane sighed tiredly. "But... That strike at the bosses... weak spot, it was honest, coming from the heart...? I... Honestly! I just don't know!" She turned around and trudged towards the lighthouse. She then looked back: "Ryouga-kun..." Her eyes were full of sadness. "You cannot be free from the pig while the pig is in your heart."

Ryouga stood there, staring after her forlornly. Knowing everything was over between them. He then noticed Ranma: "Smiling, you smug bastard?"

"I'm just glad the stupid circus show around P-chan is finally over... Well, try beating my face in or something, if that woulda lift your spirits."

"Yer slippery." Ryouga glared at him grimly.

"I have to train my toughness anyway."

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

The girls awakened long after the sunrise when sun was already scorching full tilt, seagulls flying and fishermen busy doing their fishering, their boats gliding across the smooth expanse of the bay on the backdrop of the faraway scuffed palace.

On their way to breakfast they met Ranma sporting a suspicious half-faded shiner. He had finally gone native, just like Ryouga days before, dressed in baggy off-white trousers, patched in places, and an open vest. He was also barefoot. Alas, his customary outfit of his favorite silk shirt, pants and kung-fu slippers fell yesterday in the battle against the perverted Genie, turned forever into a lacy combination. Everything that survived - pantyhose with garterbelt - Ranma sold cheply, eager to part with traumatizing memories.

Nabiki nearly suffocated when she heard about that. When she caught her breath, it took concerted efforts of Akane and Shantae to hold her back from strangling Ranma. Because even a single pantyhose in this world cost so much, the entire team could have lived off it for a month if sold at least at half the price.

Shantae remembered owing Xian Pu a rematch promised what felt like ages ago. It was about time, since the big bad was down and nothing stood in the way anymore.

Everyone was glad for this distraction from the necessity to think serious thoughts and plan finances. They went away from the city, to avoid making a spectacle with a crowd of onlookers, but most importantly, to avoid stirring up the ammonians. The half-Genie and the amazon were casting eager, calculating glances at each other that made the air between feel electrified with tension.

They found a wide, relatively flat ground atop the cliffs, away from prying eyes.

"Catch." Shantae tossed an auto-potion vial at Xian Pu. Explaining in reply to her silent question: "Holding back is disrespectfull towards a warrior. But our techniques..." She lit a tiny fire over her fingertip. "In short, it would be a shame if one of us ended up killed by accident."

"True, that," the amazon agreed spinning her well sharpened scimitars.

Akane shivered from sudden realization this won't be exactly a friendly spar. Now she was really worrying for her friend.

"Martial artist's path is fraught with peril," Ranma said, uncharacteristically serious, "is said about stuff like this. Would you yourself back off? Even without auto-potion?"

Akane realized than no, she wouldn't. Because the honor of her doujo is serious business.

And the tropical day suddenly turned chilly.

Purple-haired warrior maidens dressed skimpily in red faced off for the second time. They stood against each other. The air between them felt like crackling from predatory anticipation.

"It will be over in seconds," Ukyou voiced the obvious: unlike their first fight, the opponents were now perfectly familiar with each other's styles, strengths and weaknesses. And they were both accustomed to exploit opponent's weaknesses mercilessly. The amazon simply wasn't going to let the half-Genie finish any dances.

"Begin!" Ranma signaled.

Xian Pu went on the offensive aggressively, her blades flashing, clanging against bracers, sparks flying. Unlike real martial artists, Shantae only knew a few tricks, but those were perfected in real combat in the wilderness where there is no one to help you. You either defend perfectly or some thing gets a free lunch.

The amazon was testing, searching for gaps in her opponent's defense, employing a sweep here, a sudden kick there. Judging by the half-Genie at times suddenly backsliding away or chasing her off with the flamethrower spell, she was finding those gaps.

Xian Pu, on her part, was perfectly able to backflip away from area attacks, only the tips of her hair smoking a bit. It was starting tolook like Shantae was going to lose soon.

Shantae herself was fully aware of the fact. She was resourceful, hardened in battles against bosses, each of whom held some overwhelming advantage or other. Successfully feigning losing her balance, the half-Genie weaved a combo of a point-blank flamethrower that made the amazon to flip back so hastily she lost her balance, a pirouetting backslide closer to the cliff edge and a powerful lightning bolt cast with everything she got that made the amazon drop onto one knee convulsing and smoking.

Shantae was dancing so quickly no one of those watching recognized the dance. Xian Pu shook her head standing up. Then dashed like a greased lightning.

The half-Genie managed to finish her dance in the nick of time for the amazon to plunge into a cloud of violet sparks that obscured her vision for a fraction of a second, resulting in her stumbling on a mermaid and recovering her balance with a flip, in the same fluid motion twisting around to keep facing her opponent and braking with an outstretched leg. So she merely switched places with her opponent, but came even closer to the edge.

The mermaid was already rotating in a break dance on on her hands, spinning her entire body up.

The amazon was adapting rapidly. But her unfamiliarity with this form cost her. It only took her moments to realize: fish tail is not legs, it bends differently. A moment more to recall the fish carcasses' dynamics and apply it in her mind to the mermaid.

Two moments she did not have. Te spinning mermaid cork-screwed her tail, knocking blade after blade aside, scimitars sliding off the scales, while Xian Pu got staggered with a powerful strike to her belly. Another revolution, another strike was incoming, much wider and telegraphed, but dangerous with its speed and mass. Xian Pu could not jump over it from her unsteady stance without sending herself over the edge, so she was forced to block it hard, her blades posed to intercept. One slid off again but the second one bit in deep... Only to get stuck, pinched by the cut scales! The amazon herself was knocked back, made to make two steps backwards toward the edge while the stuck scimitar was ripped from her hand and flew somewhere else. The mermaid hopped after her, began spinning up for another tail strike — slow enough to be useless — but in the last moment she again twisted in a way simply not possible for a human, turning her spin into a backflip with a one-hand stand. Xian Pu was again a fraction of a second too slow to predict the tail that came from below rather than from her right as she anticipated, uncoiling and pushing her over the edge.

Xian Pu herself was able to twist in the air like a cat. Flipping around, already over the void, she rammed her single remaining blade into the edge, arrested her fall with it and her now free other hand.

The mermaid was already vaulting over her, having jumped in a fish-like manner... And grabbing her by her ankles as she was going by, putting her entire weight into that jerk.

A short but expressive Chinese expletive was followed by a big splash.

"Aaand, it seems, Shantae is the winner," Nabiki commented in the voice of a pro sports announcer. "Or is it not over yet...? But what could a cat do in the water against a mermaid?"

For a few seconds, only sounds of waves splashing were coming from under the cliff. Then Shantae's voice sounded: "Whose dance is more badass...? Well, let's! But I am not going to sandbag, nope! And your lynx is a bad match versus my transformations!"

There was a moment of silence: the half-Genie and the cat were, obviously, performing their respective dances on some sort of ledge under the cliff. Then Shantae's voice continued: "I don't know what are you thinking, changing your dance like that, but it won't work! It doesn't work that way! And against my harpy— Gack...! Eek...! Mommy!"

A hurried flapping sounded, soon changing to Shantae's panicked shrieks, which very quickly gave way to her yelling "Don't! Stop! I surrender!"

"Shantae-chan!" Akane worried.

"What was that, just now?" Ranma was puzzled.

There were sounds of rustling and scraping against rock accompanied with unhappy groans. Then a large white tigress with pink ears climbed over the edge, dragging a rather battered harpy with her teeth, by the shoulder and the clearly dislocated wing. The other wing was dragging across the ground producing that rustling noise.

"Enough, stop it," the harpy groaned, her leg twitching. "Told you: I surrender. You can stop chewing me already!"

She was hurt badly, feathers on her legs ruffled in disarray, her lavender-skinned human torso raked with claws, one wing dislocated and many flight feathers broken. Despite all that, she was oozing grumpy good-naturedness: "But your transformation, it was something! I didn't know you could do that to dances. Could it be your human magic again, combined with your curse?"

After showing her catch off, the tigress carefully spat the harpy out. And collapsed back into a housecat. Ranma emerged from behind Akane, where he cowered without noticing it himself, and went to pour her from a thermos, his hand shaky. Looking away beforehand.

"Are my looks so embarrassing to you?" Xian Pu quipped making a point of straightening the strap of her bikini

"Ah!" Shantae exclaimed. "Not only that, you also learned to transform with your clothing...! Akane, hold my hand. Hold it firmly!"

Ranma stopped averting his eyes and found out that yes, the Chinese girl was dressed, albeit minimally as always.

"I picked that up from you, oh husband of mine," she explained with a smile. "Who was the first of us to guess that clothing can be included in our transformation?"

"I'm just after pops," the pigtail-bearer denied. "I, kinda, don't need it that much... Could you believe I was thinking at first that it was something akin to a hidden weapons technique?"

Shantae, meanwhile, made sure Akane was holding her hand firmly and pulled with her entire weight behind it, setting her shoulder. She rolled it, wincing.

"Have a healing potion?" Akane suggested, doubtful her friend would be able to dance: not only was she raked with claws all over, she also had a deep cut across both legs below the knees, the cut trousers sagging around her ankles like rags.

"When we have so little of it left?" The half-Genie was shocked. "No way! While I can keep upright, I dance!"

She then began trying the restoration dance, keeping stubbornly at it, wincing, stumbling and gasping in pain. After about five tries she managed it, a wave of purple light washing away all wounds from both combatants.

Shantae immediately beset Xian Pu with questions: "How did you figure to change the dance like that? Could you tell me? I'm itching with curiosity!"

"I don't get the magic as such," the other purplette began explaining. "But our tribe has strong traditions of learning the beast styles. Not to use them, but to understand their inner nature for better counteracting them. When your neighbors are the Musks who practice throwing animals into the pool of a drowned girl to take them as wives... Yeah, so weird and creepy, and doesn't make such beast-kin any smarter. But it does make them mighty loner fighters overspecialized to the point of lunacy. Well... So we learn the beast styles for general education. So when I was performing my lynx dance for the fifth time, I began noticing similarities! Any beast style is built around expressing that beast, bringing out through yourself. Well, I— The idea came at first, then, during our duel, it just worked. Do not try, do, as Great-grandmother always says. So I simply gathered my thoughts on what differs tiger from lynx. And expressed the tiger. You saw it yourself, there were very few differences — mostly boldness and manner of motion and the feeling I put into it."

"You mean..." Shantae looked lost in thought for a moment. "You mean, my dances are not formulae, unlike the spells and scrolls, but expressions...? Whoa, it makes so much sense...! Many things become clear now: why my dances stop working when I grow too lazy to practice them for awhile, and why each dance has more moves reflecting the nature and habits of the transformation's target, rather than its shape."

"I'm sure you could change your transformation dances as well!" Xian Pu assured her. "Becoming even better at your Art!"

"Right-o!" the half-Genie rubbed her hands together in anticipation. "Let us begin with researching what is the difference between a mammoth and an elephant!"

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

They never got to the mammoth. Because Shantae got fired again — this time, it seems, it was final.

"Ammo Town ain't no need no nannies," she was fuming, quoting Ammo Baron. "Whom does it need, then...? I'll see how well would those `polite blue men` of his do against, say, a ground dogs invasion!"

There were who knows how many weeks til the fiasco she predicted, though. While empty purse demanded attention loudly, right now.

"What should we do?" Akane fretted, her stomach growling from nervousness. "Hunt monsters, sell the jewels they drop?"

"Won't work," Shantae shot that idea down. "I had cleared the near reaches too well, monsters drop too little now, even for me alone that'd only make a bonus to the salary. If we focus on hunting them as a group, that's like a declaration of war. With unpredictable consequences - they could very well raid the town in retaliation."

"What if we go hunting further away?" Xian Pu asked.

"Across the Sequin Land?" the half-Genie began humming and harrumphing, lost in thought. "It's a big party march. We won't be able to move as quickly as I can going alone. Everyone would have to have food, night lodgings, bathhouse fees in towns... And there are places where you can't stop for a night at all, you have to run until the other edge or the sunrise... No, that wouldn't work. During my first big adventure, I had to dance to earn money. Adventuring is utterly unprofitable."

"In other words, only a loner hero could survive in the wild feeding off the land," Nabiki summed up.

"Well, that's that," Shantae agreed. "Heroes are almost always loners."

"Relic hunting?" Nabiki suggested. "My skills could be of great use — but I haven't received any knowledge of this world. How could we profit from this?"

"We have to ask Uncle," Shantae concluded.

They went to Mimic's workshop.

The old man didn't have any reassuring words for them: his income was based on a wide network of acquaintances among court men of letters and loner natural philosophers, which grew over many years. But it was only netting him clues as to something promising once or twice a year. With his every expedition being a lengthy, expensive affair planned far in advance, deeply entangled in third parties' interests and the probability of a failure somewhere around three fourths.

In short, he wasn't practicing tinkering for nothing, there were times he had to earn his bread by repairing camp stoves.

"Ukyou would open an okonomiyaki shop with us as her helps?" Ranma suggested.

"I don't think it's that simple," Xian Pu doubted.

"Right you are!" Ukyou snapped. "Why do you think am I slaving for hat arsehole as his help? Do you have any idea how shadow unions hold their territory...? Just waltz in and open? Ran-cha, stop being childish - did you seriously think I just came to Nerima and set shop? If not for my Old Man's connections with the locals, not to mention his contacts in the local Yakuza, I'd have a gas explosion happen to me the very next day! Or it would have turned into a siege where Id have no time to do the business, only to sit tight holding the fort. Without any sleep, I must add. You want an okonomiyaki shop? Do you have any idea how much such a permit cost, even back when it was Scuttle Town, before Ammo Baron tripled the cost...? He also obliges feeding his oafs for free."

"We can't find menial work like chopping firewood either," Ranma shared. "While we were staying for the nights at Mimic's I asked him about stuff. Turns out they don't have seasonal workers here, except for harvest. Everyone always does everything by themselves."

"What could we do?" Akane worried.

"Invent a new kind of business we can manage without any specific training," Xian Pu retorted sourly. "in a niche not occupied by the locals. Not fishing, for sure. I bet they have the entire sea divided to plots already."

"Without any specific training?" Nabiki snapped venomously. "Without specific knowledge I wouldn't be even able to organize a betting—" The middle Tendou froze suddenly, as if thunderstruck. Then, a predatory grin began widening on her face, only lacking shark teeth.

The Nerimans shivered shuffling involuntarily away.

"Big Sis..." Akane was the least intimidated. "You got an idea? Don't you...?"

"There lived an awesome man once," Nabiki drawled dreamily, "whose business acumen inspired me since I was a little girl... The Circus King, Barnum."

"Circus?" Ranma did not have the most pleasant memories on the subject, only Mousse splasing water from the Spring of the Drowned Duck around with no care for bystanders. And, using blackmail, roping Ranma into the female assistant's role in the knife thrower's routine. The redhead only twisted out of the planned tragic accident by catching all the knives with her teeth because her hands and feet were shackled to the board.

"Circus..." Xian Pu drawled thoughtfuly. "It... fits martial artists very well. And there is no competition."

"Uh-huh," Shantae confirmed. "In all my travels I've never encountered a circus."

"Just add costumes, props of all kinds." Ukyou approved. "I mean, unicycles and stuff... A tent... A cart for lugging all that stuff around..."

Nabiki's dream deflated, popped like a balloon as she was forced to remember of such a trifle as a starting capital.

"No giving up!" Xian Pu patted the middle Tendou with such force her arm nearly went numb. "The idea is good, we only have to figure a way of realizing it on a beggar's budget! We are all crafty folks here, while Shantae with her transformations is already half a zoo. Think, mercenary girl, think: how do we create our stage personas out of nothing?"

"We still have most of that fabric roll," the half-Genie reminded them. "We can sew many things. It would all be the same color, though. Dark red."

"We can sew on sequins," Ranma proposed. "Don't tell me there are no sequins in the Sequin Land!"

Wandering the town they kept figuring things, exchanging ideas, shooting ideas down: how to build the circus puzzle out of half a dozen martial artists and a ringing emptiness in their pockets? What roles should each of them play?

On a busy street they noticed a merry, thin old man with a white beard sitting at the wall juggling shinies. Children were crowding around him, amazed. Adults were stopping at times to drop a copper coin in his basket where a faded cobra was snoozing, wrapped around the flute.

"Here!" Ranma pointed at him. "Maybe this veteran of the trade knows something useful."

Motivated with their last silver coin — Nabiki nearly had a fit — the 'veteran of the trade' kept reminiscing of his tempestous youth until he nearly put them to sleep, then kept listing all sorts of incredible tricks - which was finally useful - and only told them the core idea at the very end: "..but tricks and routines alone do not make a circus. Circus must have bafoons, at least once a performance. Two or three times of coursha bettah."

"Clowns," Ranma injected.

"You can call them that," the old chap agreed petting the awakened cobra, which made it re-wrap in the other direction and go back to sleep. "Ain't look like much a role, but without 'em any set of routines is like a dish without spice. Folks come to circus to laugh, first and foremost."

"But how do we make people laugh?" Akane asked the vital question. "I— I wanted to be a dramatic actress. To play Juliet... The clown art is probably very different? And has lots of tricks of trade and secret techniques?"

"It's much easier, lass. There ain't no secrets, everything's on da surface. What do folks laugh at...? At others' misfortune. So da work of da baffoon's — or klawn as you call'im — is ta play dat suffering, making it laughable. Suffering from own foolishness, from each other's foolishness — if dem working in pair — suffering from feeding own passions... The trick of the trade is not much, very life sittuashons taken right from life - just up them to the extreme, to grotesque. That... That needs talent, yes. But bafoon's clothes are just pretty wrapping. Not the heart of it... Ah, there was time when I—" He was going to start reminiscing again but fell asleep, tired from so much talking.

"Comedy is someone's suffering, you say?" Nabiki drawled. She then upended a jug of water over Ranma.

"Hey!" the instant redhead shouted indignantly, having put the bikini top on so fast she technically did not flash to the untrained eye.

The children laughed, clapping in astonishment.

"I am starting to have a sinking suspicion," Ranma grumbled catching coins, "that my 'fairy-tale' is a manga. A slapstick comedy manga."

"Rings very true," Nabiki agreed. "So many scrambles in our house ended in a complete buffoonery..."

"Then..." Akane looked decidedly uncomfortable. "All my grief, with swimming, and cooking... Just comic relief? Being a laughing stock is not fun, you know."

"On the other hand," Nabiki raised a finger, "we don't have to invent anything. To make a clown show it is enough to just play ourselves."

"By 'ourselves' you meant us," the redhead foresighted.

"Fear not," Xian Pu reassured the youngest Tendou who was wavering between the necessity to help her friends and her cathegorical refusal to accept. "Consider this experience a form of training. By deriding your own weakneses you overcome them and grow stronger."

"Whats is your angle?" Akane reacted with deeply ingrained suspicion. "Helping me suddenly instead of trying to break me and Ranma apart? Aren't we rivals?"

"Simple," the amazon answered openly. "You are a bad match for him. You two would never work together. Incompatible personalities. In the past I... I was pushing you two together by trying to break you apart. That was bad strategy."

"What, really?" Ranma grew alarmed. "Why the sudden change?"

"Let's say my Great-grandmother's teachings finally got through my thick bimbo skull," Xian Pu explained with a confident smile. "My new clever plan is to stay of the way of you hurting each other." She smiled at the redhead charmingly. "The more you two are together, the sooner you will fall apart - and only then will you finally realize I am the best match for you!"

"We'll see!" Akane smirked challengingly.

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

It was hard, it felt like eternity of suffering, it was full of embarrassment and painful flops... Which worked perfectly as part of the clown show thus reinforcing the core thesis. But the time came when the learning period was over. There were no introverts among the Nerimans to begin with. The crew was now working together entertaining people — including Ryouga who failed to get lost in time and was caught and volunteered. Together with Ranma and Akane they were the trio of clowns known as "Rakki, Ryokki and Colombine" where the guys were committing various act of toomfolery with comically exaggerated machismo and the girl was whacking them with a mallet, comically out of whack. The routine with a dastardly knife thrower (Ukyou with fake twirlable villainous moustache) and a red-haired damsel in distress was polished to perfection. They even managed to acquire a cart - a gift from a rich slacker saved timely from monsters.

The mastery of acting turned out much more important than the outward appearance of outfits, which remained very simplistic. The crew finally began earning good money, but everyone had to work for two: you are the driver, you are the horse too. In case of moving between towns, literally: Ranma and Ryouga were pulling the cart in turns. When it was time to enter a town the circus was arriving drawn by an elephant for effect. Saving enough for a real big top remained a pipe dream for somewhen the far future. They only had a modest tent serving as their dressing room and doubling as a ticket booth. They performed on the town squares, simply encircling an open space with posts connected by a rope.

Roads were winding between hills and valleys, going around obstacles, so unlike Shantae's usual mode of travel by cutting through. She had enough stamina in her to run a marathon before breakfast for better appetite. The Sequin Land turned out to be immensely vast if you traveled it in a cart. The inhabited lands were interspersed with large monster territories where only a hero would return from alive. Jungles and mountain peaks, swamps swarming with gators and farm fields, small towns, big towns and villages were passing by, the crew was gaining in experience and learning to work together even better.

They tried going north, to the prosperous capital, the jewel of two straits. They barely got away with their hide intact from the touristic mafia, the officers of the law corrupt with greed, but mostly from the circus guild quite capable of ninjutsu. They had to break through, not without a fight, learning a couple techniques of the circus martial arts the hard way.

So they learned to limit themselves to working the remote holes in the middle of nowhere that did not have their own sharks bigger than Nabiki. Like the Red Cliff Town they were currently touring, famous for its olives, its nearly depleted lead mine and various odds and ends like healing herbs for anti-pimple potions.

On the other hand, there was a dearth of entertainment. A mobile cinema was visiting them maybe once a year but that was that. The circus had great success.

"Go-go-go!" Nabiki splashed a Ranma drenched in sweat without looking, while putting on a garishly colorful turban with iridescent feathers. "Xian Pu, Shantae, it's your turn, get ready!" she commanded while jumping on one leg, pulling baggy trousers onto herself. Breathe in, breathe out, and she marched out onto the arena to announce dramatically: "And now, the incomparable Maeryam-bijou and her trained monkeys!"

She completed the circle striding with aplomb, ducked under the curtain and became a whirlwind of activity, her pretend self-importance turned off without a thought. Hang the turban, check the props, catch Ryouga and redirect him to push that coat hanger on wheels towards the right exit. Shantae had already finished dancing, both monkeys, the purple and the red, were riding on the wooden 'horns' of the contraption. Wipe Ryoga clean of the remains of his make-up, straighten the wig and the outfit on Xian Pu and watch the amazon girl, her name simply translated to the local language to make her scenic name, striding out to the arena.

Shantae wanted so badly for the routine to consist of two monkeys and a cat, with Akane as the handler. It took the lovebirds two days of chewing the words and beating around the bush to finally spill the hor-r-rible secret that two monkeys and a cat would have made massive collateral damage, not a circus routine.

Ukyou was harvesting the crowd's money, pushing through the audience and selling the branded buns, a clown face drawn on them in glazing. Thus breaching the local peddlers' resistance through sheer sass: it always took them too long to overcome their shock at her impudence, enough to delay their response until the circus already leaving.

Nabiki hastily donned a sequined vest — which in its second role served Ranma in the knife thrower routine — slapped a tiny top hat onto her head, ducked under a curtain and plopped onto the cashier's chair, in the same motion pulling the small curtain of the ticket office open.

You never know how much money you'd lose from denying irresponsible late-comers, so she tried keeping the ticket booth open almost til the end, despite it being costly on her nerves and requiring her to change constantly.

This time, however, she found no late-comers, only a spry little old lady in a colorfully embroidered headscarf. Who immediately interrupted Nabiki's monologue about ticket prices: "Listen, daughter, I have a business proposal for your enterprise. Would you mind calling your boss here?"

"I am all attention," Nabiki replied with sugary politeness as she rapidly replaced the tiny top hat with a special 'business woman' turban.

"Aha." The little old lady nodded with satisfaction. "Long story short, I happened to acquire a resort. It barely makes any profit but it still has some popularity. So while searching for ways to increase its profitability I, purely by a stroke of luck, stumbled upon your circus. Here's a perfect chance for mutual benefit, I thought. Our own little circus in the evenings would liven the resort nicely increasing its attractiveness. You, on your part, would benefit from an exclusive contract — say, for a month — and a permanent residence. We have lots of free floorspace we don't know what to do with, not to mention the resort has its own capital amphitheater it even derives its name from: Arena Town.

"This is a... Very lucrative offer!" Nabiki only managed to keep her business face with effort. "But I must consult other troupe members first. I am only a manager, after all, not an owner."

"Of course, of course!" The little old lady flicked a calling card at her. "Here, my contacts. But don't take too long, I have to depart this evening before the airship leaves."

The unexpected visitor scurried away down the street in the typical old lady mincing gait.

"It's so good it smells," Nabiki mumbled examining the calling card. "Like cheese from a mouse trap. Siren Island... I think I heard something about it, some sort of bad rumor. But... An exclusive contract, hotel suites instead of a traveling hammock in the cart... Maybe even showers with hot water! And crowds of rich tourists to gut, instead of poor villagers... Arrrgh..." She growled digging her fingers into her hair, making her turban slide askew.

The harmless little old lady dove behind a corner where she immediately lost her sugary smile as she growled at a tinkerbat loitering in the open: "Are you trying to blow our cover by airing your gills? I can clean them for ya, from ear to ear!"

The tar-black midget, despite having neither gills nor ears, paled horribly becoming coal-gray.

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

"Of course it's a trap!" Ranma agreed, not even letting Nabiki finish. "We definitely have to spring it!"

The rest of the Nerimans agreed with him, already growing bored without adventures.

"If there are bosses there," Xian Pu added with cynicism, "And every good adventure always has bosses, then we'd be able to improve our finances substantially by looting them."

"And, maybe, even smack some epic baddie," Shantae added dreamily, itching for heroics.

( ｡◕ シーンブレイク ◕｡)

October 07, 2023. Translated to English December 17, 2023

A.N.: From this point on, timeskips galore. Because I am mortal and franchise burnout is all too real.

A.N.#2: Sadly, each new war knocks my creativity out for a couple months at the minimum. Even translating this chapter (which I was planning to finish in October) dragged excruciatingly slowly.