Shape of the Heart – Four-leaf Clover
By Fox McCloude
Disclaimer: The Quintessential Quintuplets and all related characters belong to Haruba Negi. All rights reserved.
Chapter 31: Consequences.
After the school trip…
Yotsuba didn't attend classes on the two subsequent days after the Kyoto trip. When everyone asked about her, all her sisters and Fuutarou said was that she "wasn't feeling well". As a few of them knew how she'd accompanied a sick girl back home, everyone assumed she may have caught whatever she had, so she chose not to show up.
Of course, Fuutarou and the Nakanos knew the truth. Technically, the part of her not feeling well was true, but not because she was sick. Not physically at least, but rather being an emotional and sentimental wreck at the time, and they all agreed that, at least for now, the best they could do was give her some space, until she was willing to come back on her own, since pressuring her may only make things worse.
Somehow, Yotsuba found the strength to get back up and leave her room by day three, but that was partly because she had and appointment she couldn't miss out. The regional volleyball preliminaries would start on that day, so she couldn't fail the team.
When they arrived to the sports gym for the event, as they were warming up, she spaced out for a moment, gazing at nowhere, and so distracted that she didn't realize until someone snapped her fingers in front of her and almost yelled to her ear.
"Yotsuba… hey, wake up!"
"Eh? Sorry, what's up?" She realized it was Takki, giving her a puzzled look.
"Oi, you feeling well? You're spacing out a lot today. Are you still sick or something?"
"No, no, I'm fine, really!" she said, trying to feign a cheerful attitude. "Let's do our best to win no matter what."
Takki seemed to buy that, but kept staring at her. Certainly, she couldn't lose her focus at such an important time. It was her first official match with the team, and everyone was counting on him. Although, from what they said, today's team shouldn't be too complicated to beat, as they'd been eliminated on their second match last year.
"The first match of Aichi's regionals is about to start! Asahiyama vs. Ryuzetsu! Captains, step forward!"
They tossed the coin and, upon winning, Matsui asked to serve first. The referee handed the ball, and she in turn gave it to Yotsuba, while the rest assumed their starting positions.
"We're counting on you, Yotsuba. Time to show what we're made of."
Yotsuba simply nodded, and after Matsui took her position, she stepped behind the line, ready to serve. She bounced the ball a bit and exhaled to calm herself. There was nothing to worry about: she just had to do it like in training and the practice matches. She'd done it dozens of times, and they were playing a very accessible team.
"Here goes!" she said when the whistle blew, tossing the ball in the air and ready to hit it. She'd go all out from the start.
But then, the unthinkable happened. She wasn't sure if it was for hitting the ball too hard, too late, or in a bad angle, but his serve struck the net, much to the surprise and shock of both his teammates and opponents, who were left speechless and their mouths agape at what just happened.
"Foul, the ball hits the net! Point and serve for Ryuzetsu!"
"Oops…" Yotsuba giggled nervously, scratching the back of her head. "Sorry."
"Don't worry, it's nothing," said Matsui shrugging it off, while the Ryuzetsu players grabbed the ball and prepared to serve.
Yotsuba slapped her cheeks and got ready to defend. What the hell was that? Missing the first serve that way, how embarrassing. She couldn't lose her focus on her first match, they had to win by delivering a good first impression to gain momentum.
After that little mishap, Asahiyama quickly recovered, stopping every attack from Ryuzetsu and gaining a comfortable lead 7-1. The opposing players weren't too tall, nor did they hit the ball with excessive force. Iruka and Matsui made a good offensive, and with Akira blocking their foes' spikes, they seemed to be unstoppable.
Until the Ryuzetsu players made a backset feint, and the spiker who jumped to do the hit, with the jersey #10, took advantage of a hole and aimed at the center of the back row, right where Yotsuba was to receive it.
"Ugh!" the Nakano cried, when the ball bounced off her forearms and hit her in the jaw. She was left stunned and didn't realize what happened until the referee blew the whistle.
"Point for Ryuzetsu!"
"Eh?" Yotsuba shook her head and saw the ball bouncing a few inches away from her on the floor, until it stopped. The crowd started mumbling, and the rest of her teammates gave her puzzled looks once more.
"Oi, Yotsuba, you sure you're alright?" Rin asked.
"S-sure, why wouldn't I be?" she assured, though she clearly didn't believe it herself. She'd done a pretty bad receive, and thus gave another point and the serve back to the opposing players.
"Don't worry, girls, things just happen," Akira affirmed. "C'mon, we still have the lead!"
But things didn't just happen. After that mishap from Yotsuba, the Ryuzetsu players realized they could exploit that hole in their defense, and directed all their attacks towards her. Sometimes she managed to receive well, allowing her team to counterattack, but the lead they'd gotten vanished almost as fast as they earned.
And the breaking point came when Yotsuba, jumping to spike like she always did, struck the ball wrong, sending it behind the line despite having an uncovered zone to attack, thus ruining a perfect chance to score.
"Out! Point and serve for Ryuzetsu!"
"Time out!" Coach Kitano yelled, standing up from her chair. "I request a player change! Ishihara-kun will enter for Nakano-kun!"
Yotsuba froze up. On the one hand, she shouldn't be surprised, after all she was playing lousily today. On the other… the first set hadn't even concluded, and she was being taken out. This didn't look good at all.
She took a few seconds to snap out of the trance, so she walked to the bench and, after half-heartedly sharing a high-five with Kotomi, she sat on her place.
'What the heck's wrong with me?' she said, burying her face into her hands.
She couldn't believe it. Why was she playing so bad?
…
As surprising as it seemed, the rest of the match went on without complications for Team Asahiyama. Once Kotomi entered, they regained their momentum and increased their lead once more. They won in the second set by an ample margin, and although the Ryuzetsu girls fought valiantly, in the end they lost against Iruka and Kotomi's offensive.
This wasn't for sure the debut she expected in the team, and judging by their expressions, neither did her teammates and Coach Kitano. Although they stayed to watch some of the next matches to know their rivals on the next round, Yotsuba wasn't paying attention. She was too busy lamenting her poor performance.
'We won the match… and no thanks to me. I was nothing but a liability.'
From the very first play, when she missed that serve, everything went downhill for Yotsuba. She didn't stop making rookie mistakes, and she almost potentially ruined what should have been a relatively easy match for them. It said a lot that the team's performance drastically improved once she was taken out of the court.
Before she returned to the bus, Coach Kitano stopped her in the entrance, giving her a very serious look. The Nakano girl swallowed; she could see the inevitable lecture coming now.
"Nakano-kun, what happened today?" she asked without hesitation. "You didn't play as usual. Your performance was… underwhelming, to say the least."
"Please forgive me, Coach," she bowed in shame. "I wasn't focused, to be honest."
"I could see that," the woman said. "Your mind wasn't in the game. I understand you skipped school two days because you felt sick, right?"
Yotsuba gulped again, hesitating before answering. Technically that was true, as she didn't feel quite right in the past two days, but not because she was ill. Not physically at least; her issues were mostly sentimental and emotional.
None of that was a pretext, though. The blame was all on her and her lack of focus.
"The truth is… I may not be feeling alright just yet," she confessed. "I've got… too many things in my head, so I couldn't focus on the game."
"Nakano-kun, as this team's coach, I expect a lot of you as well as the rest. You need to show you're committed to give everything you have in the court, do you understand?"
"Yes, Coach," the girl nodded. "I promise it won't happen again."
"It better not."
And without further ado, she let her into the team's bus. Once on board, all of her teammates gave her confused looks, and she heard a few whispers among them as she walked towards an empty seat, trying to stay away from them for a bit. The vehicle started and the ride back began shortly.
Yotsuba gazed through the window as they slowly drove away from the sports dome. She held up her phone to check for messages, and realized that it was dead. With all the hurry and everything else spinning in her head, she must have forgotten to charge the battery. Great; she couldn't even play with it to kill time.
It'd be a pretty long trip back home.
Nakano apartment, later…
Yotsuba never felt so relieved to see a day end, even knowing the relief would be just temporary. The only bright side was that her sister and Fuutarou had been too busy that day studying without her, so they couldn't see her match. At least they didn't have to bear witness to her poor, pathetic performance.
When she got to the door, she hesitated for a moment before opening it, but after checking the time, she figured that Fuutarou would most likely have gone back home, so she finally opened it up and entered the apartment, trying to hide her mood.
"I'm home!" she cheerily announced, at least as cheerily as she could.
"Welcome," Nino said dryly. "Just in time for dinner."
Indeed, everyone else was sat around the table while Nino prepared to serve the food. It smelled pretty good, and she was so tired despite not playing the whole match that maybe a good meal was what she needed to raise back her spirits.
"Let's dig in!" everyone said at the same time, and started eating.
Dinner went by without a single word. At first glance it may see a normal day, but Yotsuba could sense some tension in the air surrounding her. It was no surprise, as the Kyoto trip events and her absence from class during the past two days were still fresh in their minds. In fact, every once in a while she caught how some of her sisters exchanged stealth glances among each other, and when they noticed her staring, immediately lowered their gazes to focus on their food.
Tension seemed to gradually raise, to the point it could be cut with a knife. Yotsuba tried to hurry and finish her food as soon as possible, so she could go to her room and finish the day.
"Thanks for the food!" Itsuki said standing up. "Ah, Yotsuba, before I forget."
"Huh?" The fourth sister turned around, and saw the youngest walking towards her with a small stack of papers.
"Your homework. Uesugi-kun asked us to deliver it to you. It includes yesterday's assignments, as you skipped class."
"Ah… sure, thanks." Yotsuba took them. True, as she stayed home yesterday and the day before, she'd fallen behind on the schoolwork.
Well, at least unlike with volleyball, she could do this without losing her focus. She'd gotten the hang of her studies enough to stop worrying about flunking, so it shouldn't be too hard.
"Also, there's gonna be a quick test on Friday," Nino added. "Uesugi said we should review everything from last week if we want to pass."
"Eh? A quick test?"
That could be complicated, but surely it wouldn't be so hard. Besides, she still had two more days to study and review everything. Nothing too complicated, right?
"I'd better get to work immediately." She rushed to finish her dinner, and downed her glass of milk almost in a single gulp. "Thanks for the food!"
"Oi, Yotsuba! Aren't you gonna tell us how the match went?" Ichika asked.
"We won, that's all what matters!" she said as she raced upstairs towards her room, her schoolwork sheets in hand. Better not go into detail.
Once she was safe in her room, Yotsuba dropped her sports bag aside, and let out a deep sigh of relief. Then, she gazed at the schoolwork sheets she had to do… and it was like she was seeing them in hieroglyphics, impossible to decipher. She didn't understand a single thing.
"Er… better start something easier."
She tossed aside the Math formulae, and begin with the English work. Again, like the previous one, despite having studied and memorized, it was like someone had wiped the hard drive in her brain, losing everything she'd learned.
She discarded the English work and took the Social Studies one… and the same happened again. Science, the same. She finally got to Japanese, which was supposed to be her forte, and finally felt she could do something. She wrote in a hurry, to get it out of the way and focus on everything else.
"Done, now let's check this out…"
She stopped on her tracks. She saw her own schoolwork, realizing that everything was wrong. Not even she herself understood her own writing, it was that bad. She had no clue what she was doing. Her mind wasn't there, she couldn't focus on her schoolwork. Or anything else.
"Ughhh… what's wrong with me? I've done this before! Why suddenly I don't get it?"
She tossed the sheets backwards, and slammed her fists on her desk. This schoolwork should have been a piece of cake for her, after all she'd been studying under Fuutarou's tutelage. And yet, she couldn't make it.
Just like in the volley match, she was completely lost. She didn't know what she was doing, how to do it, and the more she tried to remember, the more she tangled up and became frustrated. It turned into a vicious cycle.
In the end, resigned, she dropped herself face down on her bed, her face buried into her pillow. Maybe sleeping a bit would help her clear her mind, or maybe she could do things at school with less pressure.
Asahiyama High, the next day…
Fuutarou had not seen Yotsuba since the school trip. She'd skipped class two full days, and when she came back on Wednesday, she went straight to the volley club as they had their first official match. Much as he would have liked to go and root for her, he not only had to study, but to prepare the next tutoring sessions.
The other Nakano sisters advised him to not to try and approach her yet, as she was more likely to run off as soon as she saw him. However, he pointed that, regardless of her issues, they had to continue studying as the midterm exams were coming soon, and Yotsuba was falling behind. Today in particular, when she handed over her homework, it was clear she hadn't done well at all.
"Was it really that bad?" he asked Ichika.
"She practically gave all the sheets in a blank," she said. "And when it seemed she was doing better."
Fuutarou sighed. He was starting to regret picking that moment to confront her. Maybe, he should have waited until after the exams, as now he couldn't help but feel it was his fault. She was completely unfocused.
After that thought, he felt like smacking his own head. Why was he worried about studying, when he should be worrying about her and her wellbeing? But he couldn't think of any way to solve it.
"If she's as bad as you say, I may have to give her extra classes," Fuutarou declared. "Problem is, I don't think she wants to see me at the moment."
"I don't think she doesn't want to see you," said Ichika. "It's just that it's hard for her for her at the moment, after all what happened."
To say it was hard was an understatement. In hindsight, not only did he choose the worst timing to confront Yotsuba, but at the time he was so angry that he probably scared her. Often, his little sister joked that he had a villain face, due to being perpetually frowning, and if he pictured how he was at the time he confronted Yotsuba, adding up the anger in his voice when he said it, maybe it wasn't a surprise that he scared her off.
That aside, part of him wanted to apologize, that he didn't mean to intimidate or lecture her, and he just wanted to sit down and clear things up like civilized people… like friends. And to be honest, he also missed having her around to cheer up his days like always. If he didn't like seeing her depressed or upset before, he felt even worse now, considering that he was partly to blame for her current condition.
"I guess we can't do much more right now," Ichika said in a resigned tone. "For now, you focus on your role as our tutor, and prepare our extra classes."
"Our?" the boy asked a little confused. "You and the others are doing well, you don't need…"
"If Yotsuba's having it hard right now, we obviously need to help her. If you give the rest of us some make-up classes, we can redirect everything to Yotsuba so she won't fall behind."
Fuutarou was not sure how effective that would be, but seeing that he was running out of options, it seemed the best they could do at the time. Besides, if Yotsuba wasn't willing to face him alone, maybe doing so in front of the rest of her sisters would help her tolerate his presence.
"You won't force her to talk to me, right?"
"Let's not touch that topic," Ichika replied. "You just do the same as always, and leave the rest to us. Right now, I think all Yotsuba needs is a little push in the right direction.
"If you say so." The boy checked the clock on his phone. "It's almost time for the next class, we better get back."
Ichika nodded, and the two began walking. Across the third year hallways, both of them attracted a few puzzled and curious glances as they headed for the classroom. Maybe it was because almost everyone in their year knew about their relationship, and their breakup, so they probably found it weird to see them walk together. The subtlest difference was that, when they were dating, Ichika would frequently hold onto his arm, as if to "mark territory", but not anymore.
The boy found it a bit annoying, but then again, almost nobody knew the real reason behind their breakup, barring those among their close circle like Maeda and Takeda. He was grateful that they could continue talking in a civil manner, and it wasn't that hard to ignore the glances they threw. The rumors would slowly die out, and it'd be just a matter of time before everyone forgot about it.
Outside of that, Yotsuba's absence was having its effect in the classroom's atmosphere. The girl's energy certainly was missing, but nobody felt it more than Fuutarou himself.
"Now that I remember, she has another volley match tomorrow, right?" Fuutarou asked, trying to deflect attention a bit. "Do you think she'll be fine going as she is?"
"Well, she did say they won yesterday easily, but didn't go into much detail," said Ichika. "I guess she must be focused enough to handle that."
"I hope you're right."
Maybe doing some sports would help her vent some tension. Spiking a volleyball would definitely release stress, and maybe that would make her more willing to talk. However, the fact that she hadn't talked about it left the boy somewhat doubtful.
Maybe he should stop by the volley club to ask about that later, if he had some spare time.
Over the course of the week…
Things did not get any better for Yotsuba as the days went by. For starters, she was so overwhelmed by all that happened, she barely got any sleep at night, so she didn't have her usual energy in the morning. And her daily performance started falling on everything she did.
The next volleyball match went the same, or perhaps even worse than the last. After a moderately decent start (still VERY subpar compared to what she was usually capable of) once again she started making mistakes one after another, complicating things for the Asahiyama team, and just like in the previous match, the team's overall performance improved notably once she was pulled out of the court. Coach Kitano did not lecture her, or even said a thing, but she was making clear that neither she nor the rest of her teammates were happy for that poor display of hers, in front of a team who should have been much easier to beat than it was.
And not only her physical performance has been affected. Aside from delivering her homework in a blank, she got the lowest scores on the quick test they did halfway through the week. That was a red flag since, had it been an important test, her final scores would be threatened. The ghosts of her past were coming back to haunt her again, when she thought she'd finally overcome them.
No, she never overcame them. She simply managed to ignore and forget them for a bit, until now.
And when they couldn't continue to push them back, the study sessions resumed on the weekend. The atmosphere was quite tense, a lot more than it was when Fuutarou was just trying to teach her alone. It was like he'd suddenly turned into a teacher ten years older, much more serious and cold. At one point he even reminded her of her father, and she wasn't sure what to think of that.
On the bright side, somehow she managed to understand the stuff when Fuutarou explained them to her again, and slowly but surely the knowledge she had lost began to return. However, although the boy acted like nothing happened, Yotsuba noticed that he seemed to avoid visual contact or addressing her directly, unless it was absolutely necessary.
'He hates me… he probably hates me for what I did. And worst of all, I can't blame him.'
She was grateful that her sisters avoided leaving her alone with him. If the two were left completely by themselves, she didn't want to imagine what could happen, or what other stupidity she'd be capable of. She'd done more than enough to cause them trouble.
"Uesugi-kun?" Itsuki suddenly said. "Can you explain Problem #7 again?"
"Let me see…" he said approaching the youngest sister, who was wearing her glasses and stared at the book very focused. "Alright, it's much easier if you use this method, this way you can simplify the terms."
While Fuutarou explained it to her sister, Yotsuba discreetly paid attention to what he said, to try and solve the same problem while avoiding visual contact. It was very uncomfortable, being like that, but the least she could do was to try and not to fall behind with her schoolwork, especially after she'd put herself at risk with the last quick test.
Shortly after, Nino brought a tray full of snacks for everyone, leaving it on the table as they continued to study in order to refill their energies. In a few minutes it'd been emptied, and when there was the last one, Yotsuba reached out to take it.
But she wasn't the only one: another hand had tried to grab the last snack. And it wasn't Itsuki's, or any other of her sisters'. It was a male hand.
Yotsuba was left frozen. She had to use all her will to avoid trembling when, out of pure reflex, she looked up to meet Fuutarou's amber eyes. His expression remained unreadable, save maybe a little surprise and confusion. Evidently he too didn't expect to touch her hand that way.
The deadly silence remained for a few seconds that became eternal. Yotsuba didn't even dare look through the corner of her eye at her sisters' faces, but it wasn't like she actually needed it. She could picture them clearly in her head.
"Ah, my bad, you wanted the last one?" He pulled back his hand. "You can have it."
"Eh? No, no, that's fine, you took it first," he said, trying very hard to stay composed. And why did she suddenly feel bad when he removed his hand?
"I'm good, I ate plenty already," he said. "Better get back to study, will ya?"
Yotsuba said nothing else. Her heart had suddenly accelerated, and she just calmed down once Fuutarou resumed his teacher role. No, that wasn't okay. She had no right to enjoy the touch of his hand.
The rest of the session continued without any other eventualities. When he was ready to leave, Fuutarou dropped them some additional homework, and Ichika decided to escort him to the door. However, before leaving Yotsuba noticed they stopped to talk for a bit, in a very low voice so she couldn't hear what they said, but she did notice both of them glancing briefly to her.
She was a bit surprised at how they could still talk and get along so well even after the breakup. It was the only consolation she had after she caused it in the first place.
After Fuutarou left, everyone sat down to check the additional homework he left them. Now that he was gone Yotsuba felt a little more at ease, and somehow understood what she had to do, if only a little. She may be regaining her pace little by little.
…
In the meantime, when he reached the ground floor and exited the building, Fuutarou exhaled a sigh he'd been repressing during the whole descent in the elevator. He really wasn't sure how he managed to stay composed all the way through the session.
While things appeared to be going back to normal, he still couldn't shake off the feeling that something was amiss. Specifically, he still couldn't bear to look Yotsuba in the eye, when she was so quiet and depressed, instead of cheery and lively as he was used to. He hadn't realized how much he needed her to spread her energy, and now he himself was feeling the effects of not having it.
And there was that brief moment their hands touched each other. It was like a spark sending a current across his arm, and the first time they saw each other's eyes in several days. At the time, he wanted to say something, but the words drowned in his throat, so he just pretended to pull back the hand to cover appearances.
Although Fuutarou couldn't read minds, part of him was certain of what was going through Yotsuba's mind in that instant. She probably thought that he hated her for what she did, thus she tried to avoid him. He wanted to tell her it wasn't like that; while he was upset at the moment, he had time to chill off and he just wanted to talk things out and understand why she did what she did. But he didn't know how, and right now he was worried about making things even worse and drive her further away.
"Damn it…" he whispered to no one in particular. Luckily, there weren't any passersby close by to hear him anyway. "What am I supposed to do?"
Before he left, he told Ichika that things couldn't keep up this way, and he was getting tired of waiting. The eldest sister said that, should the need arise, she would give Yotsuba another push, and to please give her a bit more time. But how much would "a bit more" be? Two, three days, a week? A month or so? He wasn't sure he could keep waiting that long.
His phone then rang. The ID revealed it was his father, and with some resignation he answered the call.
"Hello?"
"What's up, son?" Isanari greeted. "Still working hard as a tutor?"
"Not quite, in fact… right now I'd just finished for today. I'm heading back home," Fuutarou replied.
"Wow, so soon? Looks like you're finally learning to relax a bit." Isanari's voice sounded very proud of that. Fuutarou rolled his eyes.
"Don't make fun of me."
"Oi, I'm not making fun. You've been depressed since you returned after school trip, and you still haven't told me all that happened. Don't you trust me?"
"It's not that, just… this is my own problem. I don't want to worry you, Mom and Raiha with it."
"Fuutarou, family's supposed to be there for support. You don't have to feel ashamed to come to us, if you need help."
Fuutarou didn't answer. Truthfully, he appreciated his father's words, but he wasn't sure how to say it wasn't himself he was trying to find help for at the time. He'd promised Ichika he wouldn't tell anybody outside their circle about what happened until Yotsuba was ready to talk. And that seemed more and more far away every time.
"You may need a change of pace," Isanari continued after a moment of silence. "Why don't you try something, hang out somewhere, have some fun? You're always working too hard, surely you can afford one or two days to rest. And it's almost the weekend."
"A rest… you know, maybe you're be right," Fuutarou thought deeply about it. Tomorrow Yotsuba would have another volleyball match. He couldn't attend the previous ones, but tomorrow he had the afternoon free.
He may attend to offer her some support, even if he was silent. After all, he wasn't the type who liked to scream like crazy in sports events.
"Okay, while you think about it, better hurry up. Your mother's just started making dinner, and if you're not here within the hour, Raiha and I will eat your portion."
"Oi, don't even think about that," Fuutarou complained. Although he'd eaten plenty of snacks at the quints' house, he didn't want to miss out his mom's homemade dinner for the world.
"Well, you better hurry, son! Bye, catch ya later!"
And with that, the call ended. Fuutarou picked up the pace to head for the bus stop, and fortunately he got right on time to board it. He actually didn't think they would eat his dinner portion, but he wouldn't take chances anyway.
As the vehicle got moving, Fuutarou stared out the window. The Pentagon building could still be seen from there, and he couldn't help but wonder how the sisters would be doing after he left. After all, he wasn't the only one who was affected by Yotsuba's current mood.
Maybe cheering for her on tomorrow's match would help her feel better, and that would give her the push to patch things up.
The following day, afternoon…
It was weird how slow the morning went by, and even weirder how little attention Fuutarou paid during classes. It seemed that all he cared about was to watch the clock and wish for the hands to move faster. One of the downsides of finishing his homework earlier was that he was left without anything to do to kill time, and the wait was stretching forever.
As soon as the exit bell rang, Fuutarou rushed to pick up his stuff as fast as possible. At this point, Yotsuba would have already left in the volley team's bus, so he'd have to hurry to get to her match. He was too focused to notice Maeda and Takeda had approached him, until he put the last notebook in his backpack.
"You finally give life signs, Uesugi," said Maeda. "I almost thought you'd been replaced by a statue or something."
"You seemed to be waiting for the bell," Takeda added. "Do you have plans for today?"
"Why do you ask?" he replied, hoping he didn't sound too harsh. "You guys have them?"
"We're gonna see the volley club's match. I haven't been able to see Matsui in days, so I figured I could go cheer her on a bit." Maeda then elbowed Takeda. "Though this guy here says it may not be a good idea."
"It's not me, just what my cousin told me," the aforementioned replied. "From what she said, they're not doing as well as they expected."
That part surprised Fuutarou. From what he saw in that practice match, they shouldn't have that many complications on the first rounds. Especially if they had Yotsuba in their ranks.
"What do you mean they're not doing well?" Fuutarou asked. "Didn't they win their first matches?"
"Yes, but from what she told me, it was much harder than they thought," the pretty boy replied. "One of their players wasn't quite focused on the game, and their opponents exploited it. And they were supposed to be teams that should have been a piece of cake for them."
Hearing that made Fuutarou feel intrigued. Indeed, he knew the volley club had won the first two matches, but Ichika and the others told him Yotsuba had refused to go into details, so none of them had a clue of the results or how things went down. Suddenly, the image of a Yotsuba making mistakes on the court didn't seem unreal, considering she hadn't been concentrated on her classes on the past few days.
Did all the Kyoto trip business affect her athletic performance? That sounded like bad news with a capital B.
"By chance, the player who wasn't focused… isn't…?"
"Yep, it's exactly who you're thinking," said Maeda. "Matsui told me Yotsuba-san has been blundering a lot, and she couldn't finish any of the matches. Luckily they could win without her, but neither the team nor the coach are satisfied with the results."
"Looks like she's been that way since the Kyoto trip. Did something happen?" Takeda wondered. "Maybe it had to do with her absence from class the past two days."
Fuutarou wondered if he should tell them what happened. It was partly his fault, for choosing a poor timing to confront her, and it didn't even occur to him that things would escalate to this point. Now because of his lack of tact, it seemed the disaster had spread to all aspects of Yotsuba's life, and he never wanted that.
"I'll go with you to the match," he said. Of course, doing so was his original plan, but if these two were going to go as well, all the better for him. "Maybe I can cheer her on as well."
At least he hoped so. He didn't know whether his presence would affect her for good or bad, but right then he didn't feel like staying on the sidelines. That and he also needed to see her, even if he didn't say it out loud.
Much later, at the sports dome…
After taking the bus, the three boys arrived to the place just in time to see the beginning of the match. Today, Asahiyama would be facing Tendouji High, who unlike the previous rivals were on a better regional level, as they'd been able to qualify for the nationals some years ago. They were a team to be reckoned of.
When the commentator announced the starters, he was glad to see Yotsuba among them. However, he noticed how, unlike the practice match, she wasn't put on the back to do the first serve, instead placing her on the front line. It seemed the team was gambling on another strategy to open the game, and thus Rin Tanokura replaced her on the back.
"You can do it, Matsui! Show 'em who's boss!" Maeda cried.
"Defend well, Takiko!" Takeda added, and then turned towards Fuutarou. "Uesugi-kun, aren't you going to cheer them on?"
"Huh? Ah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yotsuba, fight!"
Fuutarou caught a few remarks of "What a pathetic cheer" from Maeda, but he paid no mind to them. He focused on Yotsuba, who didn't even glance at them. Then again, none of the Asahiyama players, including Matsui and Takeda's cousin, even looked in their direction. Their cries were drowned out by everyone else's, as the sports dome was packed that day.
The match started with Asahiyama serving. Tanokura successfully pulled an ace on the first play using her special serve (the floating ball that fell violently towards the ground) giving them the first point, and although the opponents managed to catch the timing on the next play, a spike from Nanase with a feint served to score the second and keep increasing the lead. On the third play, the ball went towards Yotsuba, who spiked hard enough to almost break through her opponent's block, sending the ball up and forcing one of the back players to do a desperate save, but it went out of bounds, resulting in another point for Asahiyama.
"Yeah!" Yotsuba celebrated. She seemed very satisfied with the result, and the others congratulated her. Fuutarou couldn't help but smile at that. Maybe he was worried about nothing. With a good start like that, she would probably pick up the pace again in no time.
But she didn't. Although Asahiyama took an early lead of five points, Yotsuba's next attack didn't go as well as the first. This time, the enemy blocker timed well the moment she had to jump, not just stopping the spike, but landing the ball on Asahiyama's court. Yotsuba's smile until then dimmed down slightly, but without losing her bravado she prepared to defend. One point was nothing after all, thought Fuutarou.
One point was nothing, neither were two. They could deal with three… but at the fourth one he started worrying. After the tie point all things started to go downhill for Asahiyama. Mistakes began to pile up one after another, losing obvious chances, and leaving the opponents many opportunities to score. Yotsuba's game became more reckless and sloppy. She hit the ball too hard, sending it out of bounds, as if trying to compensate somehow, and in one occasion she actually hindered her own teammate by diving after a ball that clearly was not for her.
The opponents noticed this, and intentionally directed all their attacks at her. They clearly saw she was the team's weak link at the moment and leaving a huge hole to exploit in the defense. In few minutes, they'd overtaken the scoreboard, leaving it 5-10 in favor of Tendouji.
"Holy crap, they're beating the snot out of you guys! do something!" Maeda screamed. "Uesugi, help me here, will ya?!"
"What good would it do?" he asked. "Doesn't seem like they can hear us anyway."
And he had this weird feeling that, should Yotsuba hear him, it'd only make things worse. Well, maybe he could encourage her like in the basketball match, but that scenario now seemed a 50/50, or maybe 60/40 if he tried a better estimation.
"Time out requested by Asahiyama! Player change, Number 4 goes out, Number 11 goes in!"
Fuutarou saw Yotsuba was left rigid for a moment, before reacting and leaving the court, allowing her teammate to step in. Even at that distance, he could see how the Nakano sat on her chair and buried her face in her hands. Probably a vain attempt to hide her shame at that mediocre performance she'd displayed.
Would it be worth watching after that?
…
The only solace Fuutarou had during the rest of the match, was that once Yotsuba left the court, and despite losing the first set, team Asahiyama regained their footing, and slowly but surely they managed to overcome the following two and come out victorious. However, despite winning, Fuutarou wasn't keen on cheering or celebrating in any way. After that poor performance, he felt very, very disappointed.
Where was the girl he saw in the practice match? The one whose spirit and energy inspired the rest, becoming the team's very soul and main scorer? This wasn't the Yotsuba he knew, the one he admired (and admittedly envied) for her athletic capacities.
He didn't want to stay for the subsequent matches, so after excusing with Maeda and Takeda, he decided to abandon the place to try and intercept Yotsuba. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to do when he saw her, but he at least wanted to talk.
However, on the way to the entrance, he passed by the corridor that led to the teams' dressing rooms, and heard a few voices talking. He abruptly stopped when he recognized Yotsuba's voice, and he clung to the wall as he perked up the ear to listen in.
"Once is chance, twice is coincidence. But it's the third time already, Nakano-kun. I'm starting to feel very disappointed in your performances."
"I'm so sorry, coach, really. I promise it won't happen again, I just…"
"That's what you said last time," the coach interrupted her. "And yet, your performance today was less than stellar. We won by sheer luck, once they were unable to exploit you as our weak spot."
Fuutarou couldn't see what was going on, but at the moment, it wasn't hard to picture Yotsuba's expression after receiving those words. She probably wasn't happy with being singled out as the team's weak spot.
"I can't allow you to play further matches if you're going to be a liability to the team," the coach said, very emphatic. "I'm afraid I'll have to suspend you."
"What?! Coach, please, I'm begging you, don't kick me out of the team! I swear I will improve, I won't make any more blunders! I just need to…"
"Yotsuba, be quiet." This time, it was Matsui's voice who talked. "Nobody's going to kick you out. We know how great of a player you are, a fundamental piece of our team. But it's clear that, at the moment, your mind isn't here. And as captain, it's also my duty to think about what's best for the team in general.
"So for now, we'll have to make do without you. I don't know what issues you're having right now, but until you sort them out, we can't take any chances. I'm sorry to say this, but I agree with Coach Kitano's decision. You'll be suspended until further notice."
There was a deadly silence afterwards. Probably, just like him, Yotsuba was taking her time to assimilate what she was told. He himself felt hurt at those words, even if they weren't directed at him. He couldn't imagine how she must have felt, taking them head on.
A few minutes passed, and he saw the coach and the rest of the team exiting the corridor towards the entrance. He remained aside as they passed by to avoid getting in their way, but none of them noticed him. Meanwhile, he also noticed Yotsuba wasn't among them.
"Ouch!" Someone suddenly bumped him from behind. "Sorry, I wasn't looking where… ah, Uesugi-san!"
"Yotsuba?" Speaking of her. She probably was walking with her head low and thus didn't see him.
"So… you came to see the match," she finally said after some moments of silence. "I guess… you must have heard that conversation, didn't you?"
There was no point in denying it, so he nodded. He saw Yotsuba forcing a toothy grin, one that unlike her usual one, wasn't cheery at all.
"Geez, how embarrassing, that you saw me play so badly," the Nakano said. "Well, it's pointless to mope about it, it's what I get for being so clumsy. Well, bye!"
"Hey, wait." Involuntarily, he grabbed her uniform's sleeve when she tried to run. He wasn't pulling too hard or anything, but she still stopped. "Don't leave just yet. Please, I just wanna talk."
He didn't realize until after he said it, but his voice sounded more like he was begging her. And he was. He didn't want her to leave without telling her something at least, even if he wasn't sure what to say. At the moment, he was more likely to make it all worse.
The girl gently removed his hand holding her sleeve, but she didn't leave. At least, she looked at him in the eye, so he had to say something. If only to keep her there.
"Yotsuba, I… I never wanted things to escalate to this," he said when he finally managed to force a few words out of his throat. "What I said back at Kyoto, I assure you I…"
"Ha, it was just that? No, don't worry!" she said. "That's not your fault. Now even my muscles aren't helping me. How ironic, isn't it?"
She seemed to be forcing herself to joke about whatever was happening her. And he didn't like that one bit either. He wanted to help her, make her feel better somehow, but he wasn't sure what to say. Academic books had nothing about how to deal with this kind of situations, and frankly he doubted there was any book that could help him with it.
All he knew was that he couldn't bear to see her, forcing herself to hide her pain under a fake smile.
"It's my fault this is happening to me. No one else's," she said, in a voice so low she seemed to be talking more to herself. "It's always been that way. Everything I've done always turns out wrong, no matter how hard I try. I just make everything worse for everyone, and for myself."
"That's not true. You're… just having a bad streak. It happens to all of us."
"No, you're wrong. What goes around always comes around. These are just the consequences of all my mistakes."
"Your mistakes? Look, if you're talking about the bell…"
"No, it's not about that," she interrupted him. "And don't worry, I'm not going to annoy you with my troubles anymore. I'll sort this out by myself."
She turned around to leave, but he preemptively got in front of her blocking her way. She tried to go left, but he got in her way again. They continued like that for a while, but he didn't let her through.
"Step aside, please. I have to go," she begged, although it was borderline an order and not a request.
"Not until you tell me what's going on. What do you mean by 'mistakes'? What are you not telling me?"
"It's nothing. Nothing you should worry about," she insisted, her voice slightly raised. "Now please, let me go."
He refused again, and they continued to do the same side-to-side dance. The girl clearly seemed desperate, but he was determined to not let her go without talking. He was getting sick of all this.
"Uesugi-san… forgive me for this," she said as she placed her hands in a begging position.
"What? AAARRGH!"
It happened too fast. He saw Yotsuba raise her leg, and then stomp violently on his foot. His shoe did little to cushion the pain, so she was able to run past him through the other side. As he lost a few seconds holding his pained foot, he couldn't chase after her. By the time the pain dimmed down enough to run, she'd gotten away, and he lost sight of her outside the sports dome.
"Damn it… I should have taken my workout with her more seriously."
Out of frustration, he punched the wall beside him. She'd gotten away from him again, which shouldn't be a surprise, given his lack of physical condition. But that was the lesser of his problems at the moment. Now he had even more questions spinning in his head, and the feeling that there was a lot more behind Yotsuba's issues than it seemed at first glance.
What did she mean by 'mistakes'? Emphasis on the plural, because as far as he knew, she'd done nothing wrong other than the kiss under the bell. At least, not to him, not since they met last year. Sure, she was girl with serious academic difficulties, but she never did anything to hamper his job or anything like that, and she was always nice and kind to him. Nothing occurred to him that she could have done to take this attitude.
Which meant she'd done other things, things she was more than likely ashamed of to the point she didn't want him to know. Should he keep insisting? Maybe he wouldn't like the answers, if Yotsuba was so bent on keeping them away from him.
To be continued…
Author's notes:
Oof, I finally finished this. One month after I would have liked, but at least I didn't let the year go by without an update to this story. The therapy for my hands has helped, but I still have to go to a slower pace than I'd like, especially with all the pending stories I have, and I wouldn't like to suffer a relapse that leaves me unable to write for too long.
But well, I guess I've finally overcome the toughest chapter I've had to write for this story, mostly because I was pretty stuck with the events and character dialogues. I don't know if this has happened to you, having the general idea in your head, but the details don't seem to flow in a natural way, if that makes any sense. But at least I finally succeeded in my goal, to show the consequences of the school trip, and how they spread to everything else in Yotsuba's life, as well as Fuutarou himself who can't help but feel it was his fault she ended up like this. As a bit of trivia, I was originally going to end this chapter with an extra scene, to give a bit of spotlight to Ichika, but seeing that it was stretching out too long, and since I wanted to update, I decided to cut it out and put them on the next. Without spoiling much, I intended to give Yotsuba a (pretty harsh) push so she would finally confront her troubles instead of running away from them. So well, it'll be on the next one when things will begin to sort out, because it's obvious they won't be able to return to normal just like that, but it'll put them on the right track.
There, that was it. Thanks for the reviews to TheMist33, JNTF1QQ, bobalon and AwesomeMan327, as well as Shadechu Nightray for her continued beta reading work. I'm bidding this story farewell for this year, hoping to come back soon to a more regular update on the next, as I'll dedicate the remaining ones to my other works. Until next time, Merry Christmas for everyone, sayonara.