A/N- You know, with how frequently I manage to get new chapters out, you'd be excused for thinking that I purposely don't want people reading this.
Yeah, it's me again. Latey McNevershowsup. Back after another several month hiatus for whatever three followers I still have left after abandoning everyone. Two of which are me on alt accounts.
Good news is that long break means I have more chapters done. Four, in total. It wasn't supposed to be four, but what can I say? Sometimes the brain starts spewing and don't stop, but we'll get more into the real reason why that happened later.
Also! I finally got approved(?) for an AO3 account! So I'll be posting this story over there as well, in a vain attempt to get more serotonin for little to no work on my part!... yaaaaaay...
That's actually not true, because I am editing the chapters again as I post them, and possibly adding new stuff? He said temptingly...
Guess you'll have to check it out to seeeeeeeeee... Same story name and author name over there as well. Check it out! So far I have (checks notes, applies for grant money, consults with leading experts in field) one chapter posted!! If it can handle the heat from my blisteringly fast upload schedule, I hope to see you there!
Any-dang-way, if I do recall correctly, I left you all on a bit of a cliff hanger as it were. So let's jump back in.
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"Are you ready?"
The feeling of a giant hand on her shoulder brought rabbit girl crashing back to reality. Carmella gave her head a quick shake, her rabbit ears flopping side to side as she did. She looked over to Mata, the ram faunus' expression looking as typically worried as ever.
Carmella took a quick breath. "Yeah," she said, trying to hide the lack of conviction in her voice. "It's probably not even that big of a deal anyway."
The taller faunus gave her a skeptical look, probably able to pick up on the nervousness behind Carm's words. Because of course he could.
Stupid attentive, caring, and smart, Mata.
The two teens stood just outside their school, having arrived slightly late, thanks to Carmella oversleeping for about the hundredth time this semester. It wasn't her fault though! She was sure setting five alarms would be enough to make her wake up on time, but unfortunately, another ordinary, boring day at school just didn't seem to be enough of an incentive to get her out of bed so early.
Then again, if Carmella was a betting faunus, she'd say today was promising to be anything but "ordinary" or "boring." Maybe that was part of the reason her body had been so reluctant to leave the comforting warmth of her mattress this morning.
Like she'd said, totally not her fault she overslept.
"And how to do you think she's going to react to all this?" Mata asked reluctantly.
Carmella was quiet for a moment. That was the question she'd been up all night wondering about, going through different possible scenarios in her head. Which had probably been another factor in the whole 'oversleeping' debacle.
"It'll be fine," she finally said, a bit more confidence behind her words now. "Simore and I have been through a lot together. I think she'll understand."
'At least I hope so,' the rabbit girl added silently.
Mata gave the other faunus the most optimistic look he could muster. "Okay then," he said with a nod and a smile, "I'll meet up with you at lunch and you can tell me how things went."
The two faunus exchanged a quick fist bump, as they usually did before heading their separate ways at school, and the ram boy made his way inside. It was nice to be reminded that no matter what happened, Carmella could count on Mata always having her back.
It was going to be rough, Carmella knew that much was a given, but Simore and her had been dating for months now, and been friends for years even before that. If anyone would understand why the long eared faunus had done what she did, it would be her girlfriend.
The two of them had first met when the other faunus transferred in from the nocturnal classes. Apparently Simore was having issues with the other kids that went to school during those hours, so her parents made the decision to transfer her. The poor girl could barely keep her eyes open those first few weeks, but other than that, she was a model student. Unfortunately it took more than just that to survive a place like high school.
Most of the other students found the transferred girl creepy, many of them not having a lot of experience dealing with someone from the nocturnal section of Menagerie. This wasn't at all helped by Simore's naturally shy and meek nature, so it appeared that making friends was going to be difficult for the young faunus. Of course, the second Carmella noticed this, it sent her protective nature into overdrive, and she instantly- and perhaps aggressively- became friends with Simore in no time. Then, the sleepy eyed faunus was introduced to Mata as well, and just like that, the shy girls social life was booming.
Anyone who'd put in the effort would tell you that it was only through spending time with someone that their true selves appear, and it took a little while, but eventually more and more of the real Simore was revealed, and the more Carmella saw, the more she liked. She was funny, in a shy, unintentional kind of way. She was quirky too, but in a sense that somehow just made her seem even more unique and cool. She loved to paint, and had a real talent for it too, if you asked Carm, who was by far her biggest fan when it came to that. She'd always compliment the other faunus on her work, but the- still very shy- girl would always try to deflect the praise, getting flustered under the seemingly never ending waves of positive reinforcement. It was all too cute for Carmella to take, and finally, a few months ago, after the rabbit girls most recent- and very public- breakup, the long eared faunus asked out her longtime friend, and Simore had said yes!
Since then, things had been going great between them. Simore had even entered a local art competition- after countless proddings from Carmella, of course- and won! Giving the small faunus a bit more of the confidence and recognition she so badly deserved. Watching her GF succeed in her dreams just made Carm's heart soar even higher, everything was going great... which was life's cue to throw a wrench into the gears.
Carmella sighed loudly, mentally preparing for what awaited her inside. She gave her cheeks a few soft slaps to pump herself up, before standing up straight and barging right through the pair of double doors.
It wasn't the most subtle of entrances, that was for sure. The heavy wooden doors slammed as they swung open from the force of Carmella's push, ensuring all the students still milling around, talking with friends, and waiting for classes to start, turned to look at the rabbit girl. A few stared in silence at the islands newest overnight celebrity, some began exchanging hushed whispers among their groups, others offered small nods of approval.
As the rabbit girl continued into the school, more and more of the other students began to take notice of her arrival, some greeting her, others boldly walked up to Carmella to thank her. A couple even went so far as asking to shake her hand.
If Carm was honest, all the sudden attention felt a little weird. What she'd done wasn't that big of a deal, and she certainly hadn't done it to become popular or anything. She'd been presented with an opportunity, a choice, and the rabbit faunus had simply done what felt right. It hadn't been as easy decision to make, Carmella had struggled with what to do with the information for a while, before finally biting the bullet and doing what needed to be done.
Don't get her wrong, it was nice to think that she'd made the school- and even the island- a safer place, but at the end of the day, there was really only one person whose opinion Carmella really wanted right now, and as she turned the corner, that person appeared.
She was facing away at the moment, but the rabbit girl could easily pick out that mess of short, chocolate colored hair, with its telltale streak of white going down the middle, from the front of her head to the back, as well as the pair of big, rounded, fur covered ears sticking out on each side. Like usual, Simore had her head buried in a textbook, completely oblivious to the world around her as she moved down the hall.
Typically, this would be the part where Carmella snuck up behind her girlfriend, then pounced on the smaller girl, trapping her in a hug, before giving her a kiss on the cheek and wishing her a good morning, but something told the rabbit girl that today was going to be different, and required a bit more tact than her usual greeting provided.
"Mo-mo?" Carmella called out the nickname quietly to get the other faunus' attention.
Instantly, Simore froze in place, her shoulders tensing up. The book slowly lowered from in front of her, and the aye-aye faunus turned her head about halfway, enough for Carm to see the bane-filled expression in the other girls muddy brown eyes, amplified by the pair of thick glasses perched on the end of her small nose. Then, without so much as a word, Simore looked away and kept walking, at an increased pace.
"Simore! Wait!" Carmella called out, hurrying after her retreating girlfriend. A rabbit girl had known things would be bad this morning, but she figured she'd at least get a chance to explain.
The lemur-like faunus continued to move away, always maintaining a speed slightly greater than Carmella, ensuring she couldn't catch up. However, the rabbit eared girl was relentless, and continued her pursuit.
Eventually, Simore ran out of school to escape to. The hallway came to an end, and so she ducked into the only possible exit; the girls bathroom. Carmella stopped just outside the entrance. Nothing was physical (or ethically) stopping her from following, but at the same time, the long eared faunus couldn't help but feel wrong cornering her friend like this. Simore wasn't stupid, she was leagues smarter than Carm at the very least, she had to know this hiding place wasn't exactly foolproof. Had she really just... wanted to get away from Carmella that badly?...
Refusing to allow the doom or gloom to set in, the rabbit girl shook off the implications of the idea. She just needed to explain the situation. Simore would understand. She loved her. Of course she would. This wouldn't change that. Not if she didn't let it.
Carmella had done the right thing. That was what mattered here. She just had to believe Simore would see things that way too.
With a newfound sense of righteousness and confidence, the brunette faunus stepped into the restroom. Inside were three stalls, only one of which was closed. Carmella wasn't a genius, but she was pretty sure she could guess where Simore was.
With only a hint of hesitation, the rabbit eared girl walked over and gave the door a small knock.
"Go away, Carmella."
The voice on the other side of the door was both recognizable and foreign sounding at the same time. It was definitely Simore's, but Carm had never heard the meek faunus take that sort of tone with her before. She sounded mad, which while totally justifiable, was not an emotion Carmella was used to hearing in Simore's voice.
"Please, just let me explain," the long eared girl practically begged, "your brother, he-"
"I know," the voice in the stall fired back, cutting Carmella off.
The rabbit girl was taken slightly aback by this news. "W-what?" she stammered in disbelief. "You knew what he was doing?"
"Of course we did," Simore replied bitterly. "My family has known about what he was doing for a while now. We've been trying to get him help, quietly, you know, to try and keep word from getting out? Of course that plans gone out the window now, thanks to you."
"Oh..." Carmella said quietly.
She hadn't known about that... not that she'd bothered to ask many questions when she'd stumbled upon Simore's brother trying to peddle his "wares" to his fellow students. All she'd seen was the older aye-aye faunus' long, clawed fingernails reaching out to pass that vial to a kid probably four years younger than him. Of course, the morally upright Carmella had confronted him immediately, scaring off the potential buyer. She'd yelled after the kid to "make better choices" instead of going after them, choosing to instead focus on the source of the problem.
Carmella knew the brother only remotely, having barely even met him a handful of times before, when she'd been over to Simore's after school. Right away he gave her creepy vibes, he always seemed jumpy, shaky even, always lurking around the house. More often than once, the long eared girl saw him slinking out of his families home, seemingly trying not to be seen.
Once he'd been caught red handed though, suddenly he began acting like Carm and himself were old friends. He immediately tried to barter his way out of things, offering a handful of crumpled lien cards for the other faunus' silence, which really just made Carmella even madder. When that failed, he decided to switch to veiled threats.
"You care about my sister, right?" The words had slithered out of his mouth, and still sent chills down Carmella's back as she recalled them. "Can you imagine what it'll do to her if anyone found out about this? What it would do to my family?"
That had given the rabbit girl momentary pause. Hurting Simore had been the last thing she wanted. She knew how respected the aye-aye girls family was among the people of Menagerie, and she knew that something like this would cause them trouble... but she just couldn't let the scumbag get away with it. Of course, that tiny hesitation was all the opportunity said scumbag in question needed to bolt off, back to the sewers no doubt, with the rest of the rats.
Carmella was up all that night thinking about it, but ultimately kept coming to the same conclusion; She had to do what was right. So that next morning, she'd told the principal. She could have gone to the cops, but a part of her had also wanted to keep things quiet, and she'd hoped the one in charge of law and order in her school would be able to do that... aaaaaaand she'd been wrong.
Turned out the principal had her own suspicions when it came to Simore's brother, and Carmella's information had been all the push she needed to perform a full investigation. That meant the police got involved, and in no time at all, the older lemur-like faunus was incarcerated, and Menagerie, being the small, tightly knit community it is, was immediately up in arms over the "scandal," and it was only a matter of time after that before the press showed up at the school. They had an interview with the principal, and the next thing Carmella knew, her name was printed in the newspaper as the one who squealed, though they used much more flattering wording.
All that had happened on a Friday, which meant Carm had a good two days off from school to stew on her choices, unable to build up the courage to even try to contact her girlfriend. And now we were here, right at the moment Carmella had been spent all weekend hoping to avoid. But still, she'd done the right thing, she knew that was true. Simore loved her, she knew that too, Carm had to keep believing that. It wasn't too late to fix things here. It couldn't be.
"But did you know he was selling those drugs here?" Carm went on, a slight indignation sneaking into her voice as she continued desperately trying to convince her friend to see things her way, "To kids? Some even younger than us? How many of them were going to get hurt while he was' getting help' for his own problems? Who was going to help them?"
The bathroom stall door flew upon, Carmella only barely managing to step back out of its way as it slammed against the wall. There Simore stood, glaring at the rabbit girl through her thick glasses, her eyes looking red and puffy, like she'd been crying.
"I'm not saying what my brother did was right, of course it wasn't, that's not my point," the clearly frustrated girl growled out, stepping out of the stall and right up to Carmella, who stepped back a little in surprise at the usually quiet girls aggressive approach. "If you'd just talked to me first we could have figured this out together, but no, you always have to... push, to assume you know what other people want."
Carmella stared in wide eyed silence at the other faunus' claim. What did Simore mean by that? That she always "pushed?"
The fire in the lemur-like girl's eyes seemed to dwindle a little. She was probably just as unused to this kind of aggressive display from herself. Simore took a small step back, before bitterly looking away from Carmella.
"It's just like with that stupid art contest..." she mumbled towards the floor.
Carmella's rabbit ears shot up straight, before beginning to slowly sink downward. That didn't make any sense, sure she had been pretty insistent that Simore entered that contest, but that was only because she was so sure that the other girl actually wanted to, even if she never said she-
Oh.
"I was happy just making things, but then you had to put this pressure, this... spotlight on me that I never even wanted," the shorter girl said, as she reached up to wipe her eyes on her forearm, pushing up her thick glasses in the process. "Now there's all this stuff with my brother and..." Simore huff a loud sigh, "you know my scroll hasn't stopped ringing in the last twenty-four hours? I finally had to turn it off, lock it in a drawer so I could get some peace and quiet, same goes for the rest of my family too. Every news outlet on the island is knocking at our door at all hours of the day, hounding us for interviews into our families 'sordid affairs.' That's even more attention that we didn't need, that I never wanted, thanks to you."
The rabbit faunus didn't know what to say. She'd had no idea Simore had been feeling this way all this time. She'd just assumed-
-and that right there had been her problem.
"I'm sorry," Carmella croaked out, her throat suddenly feeling very tight. "I never meant for any of this to happen, I never wanted to hurt you, I just wanted..."
'... to do the right thing,' was how that sentence ended, but Carm just couldn't bring herself to finish it. Looking at Simore now those words just failed to justify the clear pain she'd caused the short haired faunus, this girl she'd claimed to love... the one that loved her...
It was the right thing to do... It's what a Huntress would have done... that's what Carmella kept telling herself over and over in her head, as if it would make a difference. Doing the right thing was supposed to feel good, and right now Carmella felt about as far away from "good" as she could get. How did she even up here?
The rabbit girl's apology seemed to bounce off the other faunus ineffectively, Simore's look remaining angry, with an underlying tone of hurt that was like a twisting knife in Carm's heart. Eventually, her look did soften, as her gaze fell to the floor between the two teens and the lemur-like girl heaved another heavy sigh.
"I don't care about what your intentions were, or if you thought they were good," Simore said, still not looking at Carm as she spoke. "I think... I think I need some time alone..."
That hurt Carmella to hear, but she understood. In a way, it actually brought her some relief, for a second there, she'd thought her getting involved were she shouldn't have had cost her-
"... which is why I've asked to be switched back to nocturnal classes. I start tomorrow."
Carmella felt her heart freeze in place. There was just no way Simore was saying what it felt like she was saying.
"I just... can't be around you right now. I'm sorry, Carmella."
There was a finality behind the aye-aye faunus' words, a tone that signaled something was coming to an end. Carmella had to fix this, she just had to, there was always a way, but for the life of her, the poor girl didn't know where to start.
She'd never so completely misunderstood another persons feelings so badly before, much less someone she'd claimed to be close to. Carm thought Simore and herself were doing great, but it truth, she'd caused the poor girl more strife that she ever could have imagined, and now she was paying the price for her assumptions about their relationship.
The heartbroken rabbit girl couldn't formulate words anymore, she just stared straight ahead at Simore, as the glasses wearing faunus gave her one final, disappointed look, before turning to walk away.
Almost on instinct, Carmella's hand shot out to grab at the other girls, but the aye-aye girl's pulled her own hand was out of reach as she continued her exit.
"W-wait!" the long eared faunus called out in anguish.
Simore stopped in the doorway into the restroom, but didn't turn back.
"Please, Mo-Mo," Carmella begged, hoping the use of the familiar nickname would sway the other girl. It was a desperate move, but desperate times called for such things. "There has to be something- anything, just tell me what to do to make it better... please..."
Tears were already starting to fill Carmella's honey colored eyes. She wanted to rush over and cling on for dear life on to her friends small body, wrap her up in a giant hug and never let her go, anything to keep Simore from walking away like this.
The aye-aye girls head turned ever so slightly to address the faunus behind her. As soon as she saw the movement, the last dregs of hope in Carmella soared upwards, believing that maybe there was still a chance, but then she saw the cold, indifferent look in Simore's one visible eye as it stared at the other girls quivering form. There was no pity in that look, or forgiveness, only determination to do what she felt was best for her and her family.
"... Goodbye, Carmella," Simore stated blankly, before finally leaving the girls bathroom and stepping back out into the crowded hallway of students.
Carmella wasn't sure how long she stood there, staring at the now vacant entryway, her arm still raised about halfway in what had been a vain final attempt to stop Simore from walking away. Eventually, the first bell of the day rang, but still the rabbit girl refused to move, as if remaining frozen in place was the only thing keeping the shattered pieces of her heart from falling apart completely. Eventually, however, the fractured remains began to sway, and then, bit by bit, it collapsed into itself.
On wobbly, shaky legs, Carm stumbled backwards, towards the garishly pink, tile covered wall behind her. She brought a hand up to the smoldering crater that had been her heart, as her back hit the wall, and slowly her body slid down it, all the way to the floor, where the crestfallen rabbit girl sat.
Carmella had done the right thing... she'd been so sure of that.
...but in the process, she'd assumed too much, and that had cost her the thing she'd cherished most.
She was lucky, in a sense, that this particular bathroom seemed to have the least traffic of any in the school. That way, she didn't have to worry about anybody else walking in on her as she buried her head between her knees and dissolved into a sobbing mess.
The sound of a pencil feverishly scratching against a piece of paper devoured the silence of Carmella's hotel room. It was late now, so much so it bordered on switching over to being early, but the rabbit faunus was undeterred, even as the first rays of sunlight peaking out over Mistral's mountain filled landscape began sneaking in through the windows. She had to finish this note, no matter how tired she might feel in the back of her mind, the rabbit girl knew she was under a strict time limit to get this done.
She'd made up her mind. She was joining up with the New Brotherhood, she was staying in Mistral... with Ilia. However, such a decision had left her with the unenviable task of telling her parents and family back on Menagerie. Unfortunately, with the CCT in Vale having been destroyed, cross continental communication was still down, with no signs of being repaired any time soon. So that left Carmella's options relatively limited, and she'd settled for a hand written note.
The rabbit girl stopped writing, reread the last few lines she'd put down, before groaning loudly and aggressively rubbing the worn out eraser on her pencil against the paper. After she finished, she blew over her note, sending the leftover residue off the edge, then twirled her pencil back around and put the tip to the paper again... before growling again, and crumpling up the messy looking, eraser smeared piece of parchment, and tossing it into the trashcan next to the desk, one which was now overflowing with similar looking crumpled pieces of paper.
She was still so frustrated at how things had gone with Ilia earlier. Once Kali had reminded both of them that the boat that would take Carm and the rest of the Menagerie militia back to the island was arriving in the morning- just a few hours from now at this point- the chameleon girl had just... rushed off, with barely even a goodbye. Carmella had tried to follow her, of course, but Ilia wouldn't even look back at her, and soon disappeared down the darkened streets, probably with the help of her stupid (awesome) semblance or something.
It didn't make any sense to the rabbit eared faunus. She thought- she knew that Ilia liked her, and Carmella had a pretty good feeling the other girl knew she felt the same way about her. So why wouldn't she at least talk to her about the cataclysmic revelation they'd both just had thrown in their laps? Why would she just walk away? Why would she hurt Carmella like that?
After trying and failing to pursue the infuriatingly slippery spotted girl, Carmella had dragged herself back to her hotel. Kali had still been there when she got back, waiting to make sure the rabbit faunus returned. The cat woman apologized profusely, fearing she'd ruined the two teenagers night. Carm did her best to try and alleviate any of the chieftains wife's misplaced guilt, as she made her way up to her room, still in a daze over the whirlwind of events that was the last few hours. Carmella knew what happened wasn't Kali's fault, only Ilia and herself were to blame for this twisted knot of mixed signals they'd ensnared each other in.
Stupid, Carmella chided herself mentally once she got back to the sanctuary of her room, collapsing face first onto her bed. Why didn't you just kiss her?
The moment had been right there! Multiple times! Was she still nervous? Undoubtedly, which was a new feeling in and of itself, but that had been only the tip of the iceberg. It might sound dumb, but there was a part of Carmella that still wanted Ilia to make the first move. The rabbit faunus was still worried about pushing the other girl too hard, especially after getting the life story she'd been dying for.
Knowing everything the other faunus had been through, these last months alone, honestly it'd just made Carmella respect Ilia more. Seeing how far the poor chameleon girl had come, her will to make things right, it was incredible, inspiring even... but it also made it even more obvious that Carm had to wait for Ilia to come to her. She needed to be sure that the spotted faunus was ready.
That didn't keep Carmella from laying it on pretty thick in the meantime though. Granted, the whole; "Oops, my legs fell asleep, please help me up- OOPS! I accidentally fell into your arms," thing was a little much, even for her, but the long eared faunus would be lying if she said she wasn't getting a little desperate at this point. She wanted to be with Ilia so bad. She wasn't being "pushy" she'd just... been showing a little initiative in getting this relationship off the ground. Nothing wrong with that, right?...
Gods, she really was down bad for this girl now, wasn't she? There really was no going back. And now she was running out of time. She'd have to turn that initiative up to eleven now.
So after, moping in her bed for an embarrassing amount of time, Carmella made up her mind about staying, and after changing out of her mud covered clothes, began writing her note/letter to her family back home, hoping to break the news to them gently, while also making it clear that her mind was made up in the matter, and that this wasn't a decision she was making lightly, or just for a girl.
The things she'd seen, the things she'd done, since coming to Mistral, Carmella had never felt this way before in her life. Fighting to stop an organized assault on Haven Academy, getting real, hands on experience and training for what felt like the first time, seeing the world beyond the- now infinitely smaller seeming- confines of Menagerie, finally feeling like she was actually helping other people, it was everything the rabbit eared teen had ever hoped for. She'd wanted this life more than anything for longer than she'd ever imagined, she wanted to keep traveling Remnant, she wanted to keep helping people, and not just her own kind. The New Brotherhood of faunus was the perfect chance to do just that, but she also knew her dreams would come at a price, as they often did.
She'd miss Menagerie, it wasn't much, but it was the only home she'd ever known. She'd miss her parents too, her brother, even her pain in the butt younger siblings. She'd miss watching those two grow up into (hopefully) well behaved members of society. Plus, without the CCT connecting the world anymore, Carmella couldn't deny the very real possibility that she'd never see or speak to any of her family ever again. She didn't want to think that way though, and she made sure to promise in her letter that she'd see them again one day, and that until then, she'd do her best to make them proud.
It sounded like an easy enough idea to put to paper, but in practice, Carmella was having difficulty finding the words. She'd get started, then about halfway through writing, the rabbit girl would scrap the whole thing, crumple it up, and abandon it to the now slightly leaning pile in the nearby trash can. She'd already completely burnt through her hotel rooms supply of complementary paper, and had to wake up Mata about an hour ago to "borrow" his, and even that supply was starting to dwindle.
But she was making progress, and that was all that mattered. Every draft made it a little further before inevitably getting trashed, but each one was better than the last. In the end, it took almost another two hours before Carmella was finally happy with what she'd written.
Hey Mom, hey Dad
If you're reading this, you're probably wondering why I wasn't on the boat when it came back to Menagerie, and probably also super mad too, but before you start swimming to Mistral to drag me back home by the ears, please just hear me out.
All I've ever wanted to do was help people, and that's what we did here at Haven a week or so ago. That's right, we stopped the White Fang, and even saved the academies CCT from being destroyed! I even helped a little! Not bad for a farmers daughter, am I right?
It felt good to make a difference in the world, and I want to keep feeling that way. So I've decided, and I know this might be hard for you to hear (or read, I guess) but I'm not going to be home for a while.
First things first, do NOT be mad at Mata for this, he's just the messenger, this is something I've been thinking about for a long, long time. This trip to Anima was just the perfect chance for me to experience the kind of life I've always wanted deep down. I know you're thinking it'll be dangerous, I know you're worried about me, I'd be lying if I said I don't feel the same way, but I also know you know me well enough to understand that I can't let this opportunity pass me by.
Tell Phyll to keep up with his training, and to take his guard work more seriously. When I get back I'll probably be even stronger than he is, and I might have to beat some sense into him if he hasn't cleaned up his act, that is, unless Saber does it first.
Oh, and keep Carrie and Rodney out of my stuff. I could practically see those little buggers eyes lighting up when I told them I was going to Mistral. Just because I won't be home for a while, doesn't mean they get free reign over their big sisters belongings. I WILL find out if they've been snooping, and I WILL rain vengeance down upon them.
... and tell them I'll miss them too.
Okay, I better wrap this up before this turns into an essay or something.
I know this will be a tough thing for you to accept, but I promise, on everything I hold dear, that I will come home one day. That way, you'll get your chance to yell at me in person hahaha.
I love you both so much, and I'll do my best to make you proud.
Love, Carmella
P.S.- I'll try to write you when I can. I know it's never been a super reliable way of keeping in touch, but it's all we've got right now. And even if you never get them, just know that all of you are in my thoughts, always.
Her letter finally complete, Carmella looked it over a few times. She felt satisfied with what she'd come up with, but also found herself wiping away a tear at the corner of her eye. This was even harder than she'd imagined it would be, and she definitely hadn't wanted do it with a note, but she was too afraid that if she went back to Menagerie to tell them all this, she might not have the courage to leave again.
Carmella looked out the window to see the sun had finally risen over the mountains in the distance. There was only a couple hours before the boat left. Only a couple hours to finish up her mental checklist.
Step one- Wake up Mata again, and then immediately apologize for waking him up again.
Step two- Give him the note she'd been up all night writing.
It wasn't ideal, and she hated putting this kind of pressure on her ram horned friend, but Carm didn't trust anyone else to get this letter where it needed to go.
Step three- Make her way over to that stupid, stubborn, beautiful, spotted faunus' hotel, and really let her have it for running off like she did.
Step four- Round off that conversation by finally doing what she should have done days ago, telling Ilia exactly how she felt.
No more subtlety, no more playing coy, Carmella didn't have the luxury anymore. This was going to happen. She would do it. Today.
Step five-... Profit?
Okay, so Carmella hadn't exactly thought that far ahead, but she was on a strict time crunch here. She'd essentially been speed running romance this entire week, so why stop now? She could figure out step five on the way, right now, she was burning daylight.
The rabbit eared girl quickly folded up the piece of paper in her hand, stuck it into her shorts pocket, and leapt up out of the chair and marched towards the exit, ready to head out and get started. She resolutely grabbed the doors golden colored handle and went to turn it, but suddenly found herself stopping, as around that time the intrusive thoughts began creeping into Carmella's brain.
What if she was wrong? About all of this?
Who could blame her though? This was a big step, one that would truly alter the course of her life, second thoughts were to be expected, and that one moment of hesitation was all the opening the doubts needed to start pouring in and quickly begin to spread.
No, no she was just being paranoid. She knew she wanted this, and that Ilia wanted her to stay...
But then why couldn't she feel anything from the other faunus?
The connection created from Carmella's semblance was still there, the rabbit girl was familiar enough with the sensation now to know that much, but there was this... silence on Ilia's end. Well, not 'silence' per-say, it was more like... static, like you'd see on a TV.
If the other faunus cared about her, wanted her to stay, then shouldn't Carmella be feeling some kind of indication of that? The same way she'd felt Ilia's feelings so many other times this week? Those emotions had been so intense they'd kept Carm up at night, but right now there was just... nothing. The only fear and anxiety that was currently plaguing the long eared girl was her own.
What did that mean? It was entirely possible that Ilia had managed to "cut herself off" from Carmella and her bizarre semblance. The rabbit faunus had been slowly coming to understand the ins and outs of this link the two of them shared, so there was a good chance the ponytailed girl had managed to do the same. Whose to say she hadn't found a way around it? Whatever this connection was, it was clear it needed to be a two way street in order to work, and right now, Ilia wasn't "transmitting," or whatever you might call it. So then, what did that mean?
Carm was only able to come up with two possibilities in her mind. One; Ilia was intentionally hiding her emotions- something that, based on their talk last night, the rabbit girl now knew the other faunus was an expert at. Or two; Ilia just flat out didn't want- or care about- Carmella staying. Neither scenario was great in the brunettes eyes.
This whole situation was just so unnecessarily confusing. She wished Ilia had just talked to her instead of disappearing like she did, the spotted girl was the only one who could have helped Carm understand what was going through her head.
Carmella wanted to believe that Ilia wanted her to stay, but...
Well, it would hardly be the first time she'd assumed too much in a relationship.
The echoes of heartaches past ran through the brunettes mind. Carmella tried to convince herself that it was different this time. The entire situation was different, not too mention Ilia wasn't Simore, but how could the rabbit faunus know for sure?
If Ilia wanted her to stay, she would have asked her to... right?
The last time Carmella had assumed she knew what other people wanted it hadn't just cost her a relationship, but a friendship as well. Simore and her had never made up after what happened. The aye-aye girl had cut Carm out of her life completely, until eventually, without so much as a word, her ex-girlfriend and the rest of her family left Menagerie, seemingly overnight, probably to escape the absolute circus of attention they'd been under, brought on by a certain long eared faunus' meddling. Carmella had been a mess for months after that, and hadn't been in any kind of relationship since.
Things with Ilia were different, that much was for certain, but it was in a way that just made the situation even scarier for Carm. The spotted faunus meant so much to her, she'd opened up door, after door for Carmella, and in such a short time too. Ilia hadn't laughed at her, or called the things she wanted "childish" or "impossibly to achieve," didn't ask her to "be realistic" or "settle for something less." Ilia... believed in Carmella, wanted her to fulfill her desires, and had nurtured those same desires like no one else in Carm's life. She made an over ambitious, slightly delusional, rabbit girl believe in herself and her dreams again. Could Carmella really afford to gamble on this? To risk losing it all again?
She could ask Ilia, she supposed. That was the easiest solution, but how would Carmella know if whatever answer she got was the truth? What if the sudden questioning made the chameleon girl feel obligated to keep her around?
The rabbit girl knew she was a good fighter, getting better too, but she was still miles behind her spotted teacher. Life on the road was dangerous, according to the chameleon girl, whether it be the Grimm or just... people in general. If Carmella did stay, she would still need Ilia to look after her. What if she became a burden? The other faunus said she believed in her, sure, but did that mean she was willing to... to... babysit Carmella while she continued to grow? That could take years, or longer. Would Ilia really be okay signing up for that kind of... obligation?
Was Carmella okay with forcing that kind of thing on her?
The rabbit girls hand fell from the doorknob, swaying slightly at her side as she remained frozen mid step. The doubts continued to circle in her mind, washing over the flimsy resolve she'd built up only moments ago. Carmella wanted to believe in herself like she always had, that's what had gotten her through the hard times before, and in a way she still did, but the more she thought about how much of an inconvenience to Ilia she might be if she stayed, the more guilt she felt about her decision.
She knew the chameleon girl better now, understood her more, but was that enough to hitch all her hopes and dreams to the other faunus? At the risk of becoming an albatross around her neck?
Carmella cared about Ilia so much, she'd never felt a connection like this before, but the fact of the matter was she'd only known the spotted girl for just over a week, and this was a big decision, of the life changing variety. If only they had more time...
But they didn't. The boat back to Menagerie would make port within the hour, and Carmella was expected to be on it. If the rabbit girl was to make her choice, she had to make it as soon as possible, there could be no room for any second thoughts, like it or not, her life was about to go in one of two directions.
And yet, as important and personal a choice as this was, the rabbit girl just couldn't bring herself to make it without Ilia's blessing. She needed to be sure that the chameleon girl wanted her to stay. But, since apparently- according to Carmella's brain- just outright asking the other faunus how she felt was out of the question, where did that leave her?
The desperate rabbit girl close her eyes and tried reaching out to Ilia through their (still pretty bizarre) connection. A pulse of energy- of Carmella's own soul- went out, a shimmering wave of gold sailing through the darkness of indecision surrounding the poor faunus. It continued off into the distance until it disappeared, seemingly swallowed up by that same darkness, and then... nothing. This was the part were she'd get some kind of sense of what Ilia was feeling, but there was no response.
Carmella opened her eyes, staring despondently first at the door in front of her, then her gaze drifted downward as she pulled the note from her pocket and held it tightly in her hand.
... If she'd wanted you to stay, she would have asked...
The bitter, irrefutable truth sent the rabbit girls heart into a tailspin. She crumpled the note up in her hand, turning away from the door to toss the paper into the trash. However, the trashcan was currently far beyond full, thanks to all her failed attempts from earlier.
The metal bin stared back at Carmella, begging for mercy, for her to not add to it's barely contained, teetering pile of refuse. She didn't want to make a mess for housekeeping, so with a huff, the long eared faunus stuffed the balled-up piece of parchment into her shorts pocket. She'd find someplace else to stick it later. Right now... she should probably think about packing up her stuff...
Tossing her open suitcase on the bed, Carmella begrudgingly began to gather her belongings, not even bothering to fold or organize any of her clothes.
What was even the point? She lamented internally, they were gonna get wrinkled again anyway.
With an indifferent expression, the rabbit girl continued her packing, but then her glazed over eyes settled on the pair of tonfa resting on the red colored cloth they'd originally been packaged in.
She stared at the weapons for a long moment, before walking over and slowly running her fingers down one of their cool, metal shafts. As she did, the rabbit girl couldn't help but smile.
She wanted to be mad, at Ilia, at herself for being too much of a coward to tell her how she felt, but as Carmella looked at her now beloved Carrot Stix, she just couldn't bring herself to be upset. This week had been amazing, in so many ways, easily the most exciting and fulfilling one of her life. No matter what happened, she'd never regret coming to Mistral, meeting Ilia, or learning so much about the world, and herself. And even if she wasn't ready to set out on her own right now, one day she would. Carmella was sure of that.
Gently wrapping the pair of tonfa in the sheet beneath them, the rabbit girl carried them over and placed them in her open suitcase, with more love and care than she'd shown a single other item she'd put in there.
She knew this might be the end of this journey, but as she went to close the lid on her suitcase, Carmella paused, taking one last look at the bundle of cloth sitting on top of her messily packed bag.
Somewhere, deep down inside, there was still a lingering ember of hope. A hope that this wasn't quite the end yet, but Carm knew there was only one person that could turn those dreams into a reality.
All the rabbit girl could do now was hold onto her faith that Ilia felt the same way as her.
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A/N- Okay, now we've got a good idea where Carmella's head is at. No points for guessing whose perspective we're going to go with next time.
So yeah, not much else too as here at the end. Next chapter in a week or so, reviews are cool and attractive to leave, hope to see you all soon!