September 20th, 2003
Harry looks at himself in the mirror. He's nervous. Tessa is staying with her father for now. Which was a good decision in his opinion since the flat is rented. But as she said she would, Hermione put together a small gathering for Tessa and Harry can't control his nerves thinking about the fact that Rachel is going to see her mother after all this time. They'll have a chance to talk and interact properly, Tessa won't be wasting away on a bed. Not anymore.
He figured it would be ideal to hold this gathering at his house. He wants Tessa to be comfortable here, mostly because he knows that Rachel will continue to live with him regardless her being back, so, she'll be around a lot.
Someone knocks on the bathroom's door.
Without answering, he opens it to meet Hermione outside in his room. She looks gorgeous. He knows that she went back to Paris to talk with her supervisors and get a decent change of clothes. He has no idea if she slept at all, he knows he barely did.
"Are you ready to do this?" She asks in a low voice.
He inhales deeply. It'll be up to him to handle the whole situation with Tessa and Rachel. He knows Hermione doesn't want to intrude or, again, feel like she's taking a place that she does not consider hers. So, he nods once, sure of what he needs to do. Rachel already asked him what's happening. And he explained it to her as gently as possible. It's hard to tell if she understood everything, but she's excited to 'meet' Tessa.
Hermione nods back at him, visibly tense. She's ready to exit his room, but he takes her hand and their eyes meet.
"I have something for you." He says in a low voice, taking her with him. He takes the jacket that's resting on the armchair, the necklace is still tucked inside its pocket. He didn't get a chance to give it to her yesterday. She doesn't say a word until he takes the box in his hands.
"Harry, you shouldn't have-"
"I wanted to." He whispers.
There's tension in the air. A lot of unresolved feelings. A conversation that they're avoiding and many, many questions about their future. But he shuts his mouth while he watches her opening the box. Her eyes widen and he smiles.
"Wow, I- Harry, it's beautiful." She whispers, taking the necklace, her thumb on the amazing emerald. It's like a drop, simple yet elegant with a golden chain. "I don't even know how to thank you."
He snorts. "A hug is enough."
She clicks her tongue but goes to his arms, nonetheless. It's a tight hug. His arms around her waist, hers around his neck. It's familiar. It's good and warm. He thinks he misses her smell the most. What it took to calm him when they were together was just having her close so he could bury his face on the crook of her neck and inhale deeply.
With these hugs they began to show how much they wanted the other physically, but this time Harry doesn't dare moving. He doesn't dare breaking this contact in a way that could push her away.
"I think we need to talk." He whispers.
Hermione moves from his arms, shaking her head and looking at the necklace. Then, she extends it to him and asks, "Can you…?"
He nods and she turns around, her hand holding her hair while his fingertips touch her smooth skin. This is one moment he knows he won't forget. It's… serene. For these brief seconds - that in his mind last for more - it's only him and Hermione. There's a gentle breeze coming from the open window, the sun is not that bright and the birds sing outside. Her smell, that intoxicates him whenever they're close, fills his nostrils and calms his heart. The way she patiently waits for him to close the clasp makes his stomach flutter. This is Hermione and he has no idea how he's going to keep living without her. He has no idea for how long they're going to be apart and now… now Tessa is back.
She releases her hair, but she doesn't turn to him. His hands are resting on her bare shoulders - she's wearing a nice dress with thin straps.
It's an infinitesimal moment. There are a lot of things he wants to say to her. But his mouth is shut. And it doesn't look like she has something to say either. To Harry is like they're equilibrating themselves on a thin rope. None want to say certain things out loud and make them true… the only flaw with this notion is that reality just is. There are no 'ifs'.
Hermione finally moves, taking steps forward and then turning to him, her hand on the necklace. There's a smile on her face, but Harry can see the faint sadness in her eyes.
They share a look. Taking a deep breath, Hermione exits the room.
Harry runs a hand through his hair, a heaviness on his chest. It feels like every moment they're sharing these two days are… a goodbye.
She's almost shaking. Draco and Ginny just arrived with Rachel and the girl doesn't want to let go of Hermione. They miss each other mutually. It's painful. Not seeing Rachel all the time is something that Hermione will never get used to. This unconditional love is freeing and breathtaking.
But the situation sucks.
Tessa will arrive soon with Leonard. Hermione's parents are already there along with the Weasleys. It's a nice gathering. However, also nerve wracking. For starters, Leonard will be inside Harry's house, which is something that Hermione didn't imagine happening. And she knows her uncle will condemn the fact that the house is isolated and in a Wizarding Community. Harry will fetch them with a Portkey in ten minutes. Not just that but the fact that Rachel keeps calling her mama and refusing to be in anyone else's arms is already giving Hermione nervous chills.
She has no idea how Tessa will react to this, no idea what the fuck is about to happen. And to make things worse, at the end of the day she has to go back to Paris and live apart from everyone. Separated from Rachel, away from Harry. Not in touch with Tessa.
Her eyes search Harry inside the living room, he's talking to Ginny - incredibly nervous. The little moment they shared inside his room, the necklace… everything is all so confusing. So hard. Hermione knows he'll seek her out eventually to have this talk he mentioned, but she's not sure she wants to. Mostly because she knows what she needs to do.
And it breaks her.
But right now she has another priority: Rachel. Gulping, she asks the little girl if she wants to go outside and play on the swing. Rachel confirms. In Hermione's opinion, it's best for Tessa to arrive and not see Rachel immediately. She knows it'll be a huge moment, and even if she's not really Rachel's parent, she feels comfortable enough to head outside and prepare the ground for what's about to happen.
Hermione sits on the swing with Rachel on her lap and they give it a push. For a while the only sound filling the silence is Rachel's sincere laugh. The most Hermione can do is open a sad smile. She doesn't have much time, so, she slows down the swing and embracing Rachel, she asks:
"Sweetie, you know who's coming?"
Still on her lap, Rachel turns to face Hermione. Her amazing eyes are wide and, timidly, she says, "Yeah." Hermione gulps. Harry told everything to Rachel, but Hermione fears the whole 'mama' issue.
"Mama Tessa, right?" The girl shrugs in a way only kids know how. Innocently but sure. "Are you excited to see her?"
"You're my mama." Rachel says in a low voice, pouting, squeezing Hermione's arm.
"Mama Tessa is also your mama, sweetie. And she's going to be here with you all the time now, isn't that nice?" Rachel doesn't answer and Hermione keeps talking, "She's very fun. You'll see it. And she loves you very much, pumpkin."
Rachel looks down, her eyes on the rope holding the swing. Hermione has no idea what else to say, should she even? Talk more? Try to be a bridge between Tessa and Rachel? It… it doesn't feel like this is her role. This is… Harry's. He's the bridge between them.
She hugs Rachel tightly and the little girl squeezes her back with the same intensity. Even so little, she understands something big is about to change in her life.
"Miss you, mama." She whispers.
It shatters Hermione's heart and she stops her tears from falling. "I miss you too, my love. All the time." Then, inhaling deeply she looks into Rachel's eyes. "Hey, baby girl, I'm always going to be here if you need me, okay? Always." She brushes some of Rachel's tears. "You're the most important person to me in this world and I love you. I love you."
They cry a bit more. But soon Hermione hears the sounds coming from inside the house. People are greeting Tessa. She shuts her eyes with force and stands from the swing with Rachel, using a simple spell to clean their faces from the tears. She can tell that the little girl is tense in her arms, but Hermione keeps taking firm steps to the house.
And when they enter the living room, everyone stops. They practically freeze. Hermione thinks she might not be breathing. Tessa is in the middle of the room, looking as gorgeous as ever, Harry is by her side, one of his hands on her waist and on the very same instant Hermione steps inside, Tessa's eyes go to Rachel in her arms.
It's tense and emotional. Tessa begins to cry desperately and Rachel moves to nestle herself even more in Hermione's warm embrace. Tessa is saying something but it's impossible to understand and Harry puts his arms around her in a protective manner, his mouth on her ear with soothing words.
It takes a moment but Tessa stops crying, breathing deeply.
"Rach, love, come say hi to mama Tessa." Harry says in a firm tone, clearly an order.
Hermione wants to bury herself inside a hole and never come out when she tries putting Rachel down and the girl keeps holding on to her, her little arms in a vice grip around her neck. Hermione crouches, glancing at Tessa: she's tense, and sad, and happy. Everything at once.
"Hey, Rach," Hermione says in a low voice, "Go, it's okay, sweetie."
Hermione smiles to reassure her and then she stands tall. Tessa is looking at her. A strange expression on her face. And some clear animosity. Shit. This was bound to happen, she knew it.
But to her relief, Rachel goes. With uncertain steps, she walks to Tessa. And Tessa's whole world is her daughter now. Crouching, she starts to cry again, her arms open.
"My baby." She says between sobs. "I- you're so big." Tessa bites down on her lower lip with force, trying to control her tears a bit in order not to scare Rachel or something. "So beautiful." Tessa lets out a laugh, joyous. "Can I get a hug, Rach?" She tilts her head in question, waiting, her eyes still on the girl.
Rachel looks up at Harry and Tessa follows her eyes, also staring at Harry. Hermione watches while he crouches too and opens that smile. It suffocates her. It hits hard that they're a family now. They'll be. As they should have been years ago. Hermione holds her ground, but deep down she wants to disappear. She should be in Paris.
With Harry smiling and taking Rachel's little hand, the girl takes the extra steps and hugs Tessa.
A million emotions are battling inside Hermione. She's happy that her cousin is alive and with her daughter. Happy that all these years that she prayed and hoped this day would come weren't for nothing. It's happening. But she's also sad and angry. And jealous. And feeling like crap. And also giddy that Rachel will get the chance to know her amazing mother-
Tessa is hugging Rachel tightly and Harry is crying. He's sobbing like a child. But when he moves and embraces both, his strong arms around them, his knees on the floor, his lips kissing Tessa's head-
Hermione shares a look with her mother - who's looking at her. Shaking her head, she purses her lips and walks out.
It's too painful.
She knows that if she hadn't had a relationship with Harry this would be the happiest moment in her life. Only she knows how much she wished for their love to work out, for them to be a family, for Tessa to have a chance at life, a chance at love-
Hermione braces herself, her head down, one of her hands squeezing the necklace Harry just gave her.
She has no idea what will happen now, but she's sure she doesn't have a place in this story anymore. And she'll have to accept this.
Harry can't stop smiling. This is… unbelievable. Tessa is here. With Rachel. And the little girl is finally loosening up after her initial hesitancy towards Tessa. It's amazing. Everyone is talking and enjoying themselves. Tessa apparently was close to the Weasleys and they're all eager to tell her stories. And he heard her asking about Ron And Hermione. Molly said he's traveling the world and Tessa didn't push the matter.
Even Leonard has a smile on his face. It's like the man went to sleep with one hundred years and woke up with fifty. His happiness is undeniable. And he's being polite and warm towards everyone, which surprises Harry a lot. He knows that now that Tessa is back he'll have to deal with Leonard.
Drinking some beer, his eyes roam around the room. It- He's looking for Hermione. But she's nowhere. If he's not mistaken, since the moment he stood from the floor and the embrace that he waited for years ended, she was already gone. He really hopes she's not in Paris already. He really hopes they get a chance to talk, a chance to… to what? He's not sure.
He feels like a mess. It's so hard to define what he's feeling. He wants to stay with Tessa, but he also needs to know where Hermione is, why she's not there with them, sharing this happiness and this moment.
Tessa watches him while he excuses himself, walking to a hallway, maybe Hermione is in the bathroom or-
She's right there. Leaning against a wall and holding a drink. Hermione's looking down and it takes her a moment to raise her head to Harry. Her expression is… hard to read.
"Hey, I was wondering where you were." He says in a low voice, taking a few more steps to her, pocketing his hands and thinking about what to say.
"I- I needed a moment, I guess." She answers in an equally low voice.
He stops close to her, almost touching.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks, something tugging at his chest. Things are not happening as he imagined they would if Tessa woke up. He imagined them together and dealing with this as an unit. He imagined Hermione close to her cousin, wanting to help Tessa with Rachel and being a part of this. But-
"No." She says simply, closing her eyes and sipping.
It angers him a bit. "Hermione, we'll need to talk about things eventually."
She sighs, moving her hand and vanishing with the drink. Then, turning to him, she says, "What things, Harry? Maybe we have nothing to talk about. As far as I know, everything is fine between us, isn't it?"
He sets his jaw. He can't say she's wrong. They broke up. She decided she wanted to move to Paris. He told her to go. It's…
"Tessa woke up, Hermione." He moves a hand in front of him, "Don't you think we need to talk about this? Or talk to her? What about Rachel-"
"Harry?" He turns around to look at Tessa. Hermione also moves from the wall. "Hermione? What's happening? Why are you here? Talking in whispers?" Tessa crosses her arms, squinting, her eyes on them.
His heart quickens. He's literally between Hermione and Tessa. Feeling torn.
"Tess," Hermione says, "I- Maybe we should…" She points to the door of Harry's study. "I think we need to talk."
Tessa makes a face, but she nods. The three enter the study in silence. Harry has no idea what Hermione's gonna say, but maybe this is the moment to reveal a few things to Tessa. She has the right to know. And he wants to tell.
"Okay, what's happening?" Tessa asks, her eyes going from Hermione to Harry.
Hermione moves, uncomfortable. She would rather not have this conversation with Tessa. If it was her choice she would Portkey herself back to Paris right now. Shit. She knows this is gonna suck. A lot. And it seems like Harry is thinking the same because he's barely moving. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.
"Tess." The way he says her name makes Hermione wanna disappear. With so much affection and love. "Hermione thought that maybe we shouldn't share this with you, but I honestly don't think there's a way of ignoring this."
Tessa makes a face, totally confused and her eyes go to Hermione. "Share what with me, Mi?"
Hermione crosses her arms, wondering for how long Tessa is going to keep calling her Mi after she hears what they have to say. Harry pushed for this to happen and she knows that the fair thing to do is be honest, so…
"Look, I just thought about not sharing because it's something that's over." She glances at Harry. His expression is not the friendliest. "But if you wanna know… I- Harry and I, we dated for a while." Tessa opens her mouth and widens her eyes. Hermione can see the despair on her expression, she blinks many times, totally baffled.
"I- what?" Tessa whispers. She's in shock. "You dated?" Her voice comes out a bit louder. "How? I- for how long? When?"
Harry wets his lips, clearly stressed. Hermione can see the disaster about to happen but she goes on with it.
"For real it lasted around four months." Only four months. Hermione never realized it had been so few. Those months went by so fast. They were so happy on those days. So connected. And if she's honest with herself, their first kiss happened way before, and they've known each other for so long that in a way it feels like they were a couple for years. "We ended things a month ago." She keeps talking, Harry makes a face at this statement. "I live in Paris now, Tess. I work there and I won't be coming back to London for at least two years-"
"What?" Harry interrupts her, shocked. "Two years? When were you planning on telling me this?"
She bites on her lower lip, glancing at Tessa. Her eyes are heavy on them. It surprises Hermione that Harry doesn't seem to care.
"I'm telling you now."
He clenches his jaw, furious. "Are you seriously staying in Paris for two years?"
"I just said that I am." She says firmly.
Harry swallows hard. "Don't you think we should talk about this?"
"I really don't. It's my life." And we're not a couple anymore, Harry.
Harry opens his mouth but Tessa interrupts:
"Why aren't you together anymore?"
Both her and Harry look down. She could let him answer this one. She could ignore the question. She could tell the truth or even say that she's not sure herself since she still loves him to death. But what Hermione says is, "We don't love each other anymore."
Harry widens his eyes, pressing his lips together. She sees his chest moving up and down heavily.
"Is that so?" Tessa asks him.
Hermione observes when his eyes leave hers and focus on Tessa. His whole posture and expression change. What she said is not a lie. Now that Tessa is back, now that Harry will finally get a shot at living this love, she knows that whatever he might feel for her will go away. She knows that they'll find their way back to each other soon and she really doesn't want to be here to see it. She can't tell Tessa the truth. She can't tell that she was just thinking about asking Harry to move to Paris minutes before she got the message that her cousin had woken up.
It may be a wrong notion or perception, but Hermione feels like she already 'stole' a lot from Tessa. She won't be in their way now. At all. It hurts but she wants them to be happy.
"I- We-" Harry stutters. Hermione can see he's having a hard time with this. But she doesn't intrude. Tessa needs to know what he feels. He needs to reject Hermione in front of her. That's how this is gonna go. He finally exhales heavily. "Yeah, I mean, it's over." He shrugs. "If we did love each other we would be together, wouldn't we?" He's talking to Tessa but Hermione feels like he's talking to her.
"I don't know." Tessa says in an irritated tone. She's a bit angry. "You tell me, Harry. Because if there's still something that needs to be solved here, then I-"
"We have nothing to solve, Tess." Hermione cuts in. "We've already talked about this. It's definitely over." Harry runs a hand through his hair again, tense. Hermione ignores him. "The only thing you need to know is that… we- we were raising Rachel together. As a couple. She-" Hermione inhales deeply. "She calls me mama-"
"What?" Tessa asks harshly. Harry squints. Hermione looks down. "She thinks you're her mother?"
"But she is practically her mother." Harry says with a firm tone and Hermione wished he would be quiet.
Tessa scoffs. "Oh. Is that so?" She turns to Harry, furious now. Hermione braces herself. "Funny, I don't remember Hermione's belly growing for nine months. I don't remember her being sick for three months or having the worst back pain in the world. I also don't remember the day Rachel was born and Hermione had to go through labor-"
"There's no need for this, Tessa." Harry cuts her. He's angry. "Of course you're Rachel's birth mother. Rachel knows this, we never stopped telling her so, but-"
"No." Tessa interrupts. "There's no but in this, Harry. She has one mother. Me."
Hermione wished it didn't hurt this fucking much. Deep down she expected Tessa to react differently, but she knew chances were very slim. She was there throughout the whole pregnancy, she saw how much Tessa wanted to be Rachel's mother. She saw how eager she was to register every little thing to share with Harry later. And she can't even imagine how Tessa must be feeling now. Harry tries arguing again, but he can't possibly know how deep this goes.
She interrupts him.
"Tessa, listen." Hermione says in a serious tone. "It was never, believe me, never my intention to take your place or have Rachel seeing me as her mother." Tessa scoffs, shaking her head, pissed, but listening. "But I couldn't abandon her either, you know that. And you know I wouldn't do that in a million years. I'm her Godmother, after all." Hermione wets her lips, her eyes on Tessa. "I never lost hope that you would come back to us. And I made it pretty clear countless times. You won't see anyone saying that I behaved as Rachel's mother, as if I wanted to take your place. You have to believe in me on this one."
"Maybe you didn't, but you feel like her mother, don't you?" Tessa squints. "I can see in your eyes, Hermione. I saw how hesitant you were in letting Rachel get close to me-"
"You're being unfair, Tess." Harry snaps. "Hermione is the best mother figure our daughter could have asked for in this world taking in consideration the accident. She cares, she's loving and she protects Rachel indeed as if she were her own. You shouldn't be attacking her like this, you should be thanking her."
His words hang heavily between them. Hermione bites her tongue. She wants to cry. Harry is looking at her but she avoids his eyes, there's no way she can look at him right now. She fears she might close the distance between them and kiss him right there. He has no idea how much these words mean to her, or maybe he does. Either way it's a bit surprising the way he's defending her, not minding what Tessa might think at all.
Tessa crosses her arms and looks down, she's crying.
"Of course I'm thankful." Her voice is thin. Hermione blinks and some tears leave her eyes. "Mi, of course. I'm so sorry." Tessa moves to her and Hermione tries not sobbing when they hug tightly. "I- I'm acting like a bitch." It's a whisper and Hermione lets out a single chuckle. While embracing Tessa she lets her eyes go to Harry. She mouths a 'thank you' to him. He nods, clearly shaken. Tessa takes a few steps back, "It's just too much. I mean I never imagined you two had…" She trails, her eyes going from Hermione to Harry. "And don't get me wrong, I know how amazing you are and I have no words to express what it means for you to have taken care of my little Rach." Hermione tries not minding the 'my'. "But I can't lie. I don't want to lie. I don't like this. I really don't. She's my daughter and in a way it's actually a good thing that you're living in Paris now."
It's a slap on the face. Hermione inhales deeply. Harry snorts. She knows he wants to say something, but Hermione is faster.
"I get it, Tessa. Believe me, I won't stay in your way. Not with Rachel. Nor with Harry." He raises an eyebrow, opening his mouth. Tessa doesn't say a word, confirming the obvious: she wants to be with him. "I just have one request. I want to know if I can have a few days with Rach from time to time. I know that a brutal separation might be-"
"I don't know." Tessa says, making a face, not liking the idea at all.
And finally, an anger invades Hermione.
"Are you going to keep her away from me, Tessa? Have you forgotten everything I've done for you?" She really doesn't want to go there, but the conversation is taking a path that- "I've given up on my own life to help you, to be with you and take care of Rachel-"
"Because you wanted to!" Tessa yells. "I said countless times that you should move in with Ron!"
"How can you be so ungrateful?!" Hermione also yells. "The only thing I want is a day with Rachel! And you're acting like-" She stops. Fuming.
Tessa opens her mouth, but Harry's voice fills the room.
"Enough." He says firmly, deeply. "Hermione will keep seeing Rachel. This is not open for debate, Tessa." He says harshly. Hermione gulps and takes a step back, calming down.
Tessa makes a face at Harry. "Maybe we should talk about this later, Harry. Just the two of us. Rachel is our daughter-"
"There's nothing else to discuss when it comes to this." He says through his teeth.
"We'll see about that." Tessa says with disdain, then she looks at Hermione. "Goodbye, Hermione, have a nice trip back to Paris."
And she leaves the room, banging the door with a loud thud. Hermione flinches. Harry sighs. There's silence between them and Hermione is afraid of breaking it. To her surprise, Harry walks to her, his arms closing around her body with tenderness. She hugs him back, breathing deeply.
"Regardless what she thinks," He says in a low voice, his voice close to her ear, his arms warm around her, "I'll never, ever, not in a billion years, regret having you with me and Rachel." He kisses her neck, Hermione is crying now. "You're an amazing mother and nothing can change my mind about that, okay? I'll always defend you."
She nods, crying silently. He brushes her tears. Then he kisses her cheek, bumping his nose on hers. Hermione returns the gesture, her heart squeezing inside her chest.
"Thank you, Harry." She whispers.
They're close. Their noses touching, their eyes locked. Even if he's looking at her the same way he's been looking at her since they kissed that first time, Hermione fears she might not know what to do with this love anymore. One day ago she was thinking about asking him to move to Paris, but now- now everything changed. And she gets why Tessa is acting the way she is. She never asked for this accident, no one asks for something like that, and when she opened her eyes, she thought things were exactly as they were on the day she dove into that deep sleep…
But even with this in mind, she doesn't pull away when Harry's lips find hers. For real, this might be their last kiss. A goodbye kiss.
She brings him closer by the neck, her tongue meeting his in a caress. He squeezes her waist and they stay in the moment for a ridiculous amount of time. It's a slow kiss, very tender, very soft. Harry only stops because he needs to take a breath and when he does, he keeps kissing her cheek and neck, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Hermione brushes her cheek on his.
But she says, "I have to go."
He groans, squeezing her more. Then, it's like he remembers reality. Harry takes one step back, his eyes heavy on her.
"Are you really staying there for two years?" He asks in a low voice, his chin trembling.
Hermione takes a deep breath. "Yes, Harry. And… maybe it's really for the best." She shrugs.
"I- I wanna spend the days you'll have with Rach with you, I- I'll write. Maybe we should keep in touch through the fireplace-"
"No." She looks down.
He frowns. "No?"
"Harry, I- we need to move on. I know I won't be able to do that if we keep in touch like this." He lets out an annoyed sound and runs a hand through his hair. "And I don't wanna be an obstacle for you and Tessa-"
"Hermione, you're not considering what I want in this-"
"I fucking know you're shaken, Harry. I know you've already thought about picking up from where you left off with her, don't lie to me."
He sets his jaw. "Fine, I won't lie. But I love you. I-" She presses her lips together.
"You love me but you just said you don't in front of Tessa, like I knew you would. If-" She closes her eyes, "If in months you still feel the same, if you and Tessa decide that you don't wanna be together…" She moves closer to him again, her hands on his chest, "Then we'll talk, okay? But until then, I want you to live your life, Harry. Because I'll live mine."
Her words are very clear.
Harry purses his lips, something passing through his eyes. "Okay." He says in a soft voice. "Okay, I- I understand."
She gives him a peck. "Be happy, Harry." It's just a whisper.
He widen his eyes, but before he reacts, Hermione apparates.
It's night and everyone's gone. Except Tessa. Tessa is watching Rachel. Their daughter is knocked out on the couch, sleeping heavily. Leonard left earlier, saying that he had things to do and such. And now, as he watches Tessa, he knows that there's no way of taking her home through Portkey without waking Rachel, he can't leave the little girl alone.
So, he stops by Tessa's side and crosses his arms, his eyes also on Rachel.
"She looks so much like you." He whispers. It's their first alone conversation of the day. Tessa sniffs. She's crying and smiling. "I- I think there are a few things we need to discuss." He's blunt. Since Hermione left abruptly, he's been thinking about the technicalities of… sharing a daughter. Like- "I mean, it seems like things between you and your father are-"
"Yeah. We- we talked a lot. He changed, Harry. He said that… these years looking at his daughter in a coma were a definitive turning point." She turns to him. "I know he wasn't present in Rachel's life before but he said to me that he wants to be. He said he had no idea how to approach you on this."
Harry purses his lips. "Yeah, I get it." But he does not like it. "He's her only grandfather and I think they should spend some time together."
Tessa nods, gulping. "Yeah, I get how this must be hard for you, but thank you, Harry."
"It's fine, Tess." They share an intense look. Her eyes fall to his lips. He imagines himself moving closer to her and- "And also the days she's spending with Hermione."
Tessa recoils fast, her expression changing, a sharpness in her eyes. "You decide." She says through her teeth.
He sighs. "I thought about a whole weekend every fifteen days." Tessa visibly hates the idea, "But maybe one day every weekend is the best."
Tessa raises her eyebrows. "Do I have a say in this?" Her tone is sarcastic. He squints, she understands what he's saying, she does not have a say in this "So, what else?" He opens his mouth but she continues, "I'm going to stay with my dad for now, but I want to be with Rachel as much as possible, maybe mornings and-"
"She- she goes to School." He says fast, "A Private Wizarding School. From 9am to 4pm."
Tessa widens her eyes. "I-" Harry is sure he told her that Rachel is magical, but maybe this reality didn't feel concrete to Tessa up until now. "Okay. When can I be with her, then?"
"Except from the hours that she's at School, whenever you want, Tess. She's your daughter."
She nods, pressing her lips together. "I- I don't wanna mess up what you have here with her, Harry. I would never try to impose myself or something like that." She looks down. "There's a lot I have to do with my own life too. It- it won't be easy going back to work or…" She trails, shrugging. "I mean, I'll need time to settle."
"I understand." He says softly. "But I hope you do know you're always welcome here." Tessa opens a bright smile. He wished it didn't, but it does quicken his pulse. It's like she's even more beautiful now. He clears his throat. "And I'll be here for whatever you need with Rachel. I'm sure you'll connect easily."
Her expression changes and she turns serious. "I hope so." She whispers, looking at Rachel. "She's-" Tessa exhales. "She's crazy about Hermione, isn't she?"
Harry bites on his lower lip, running a hand through his hair. "She is." Tessa closes her eyes. "But she's a loving child, Tess. I'm sure both you and Hermione can fit in her small yet gigantic heart." He opens a side smile, knowing that his words are very true.
Tessa nods. "I don't want you to think that I'm ungrateful, Harry. Everything is just incredibly difficult. I- I never asked for this and suddenly-" She starts to cry a bit harder, sobbing. He hugs her, he squeezes her in his arms and Tessa clings to him.
"Give it time, Tess. Give it time." He whispers and she agrees.
They end the night tucking Rachel in her bed and then saying a timid goodnight at the hallway. Harry going to his room and Tessa to the guest bedroom.
And when he closes his door, he lowers his head, overwhelmed. There's a rocky road ahead of them, but he's ready, he's ready to deal with anything.