"I absolutely hate myself."

Subaru had just vented out all of his thoughts to Rem, about how much he had hated himself, about how much he wasted his life. Yet he did not feel any better, he just felt worse. He didn't know what to do.

"I know that you …"

Rem was saying something to him, but he couldn't bring himself to listen to her. She was wrong, she was blinded by her love for him and could not see his real self. She couldn't see what a cowardly piece of trash he was.

What could he do then? His last hope, that Rem would run away with him, had failed. Could he run away by himself? No, he had no skills and knew very little about this world, he could not survive without Rem. And above all else, he did not want to see Rem die again. He had already given up on saving the people at the mansion, but he could still save Rem.

But what could he do? Rem would not run away with him, and she likely would not stay here either. Once she heard about the attack at the mansion she would immediately rush over there, leaving him behind just like she did in the first loop at the inn.

Subaru searched his brain for an answer, he tried to think of a way to save Rem. Then he remembered the words she had just said earlier.

"Subaru, if you could smile while wishing for that future...I truly believe I could be happy after a life like that."

Rem had not immediately rejected him, she had been uncertain at first. Maybe if he had proposed a little bit differently, then she would have accepted? Maybe then he could save her. He remembered what Anastasia had told him in the previous loop,

"The secret is to prepare everything you can before you ever reach the bargaining table."

A crooked smile formed on Subaru's face, he knew what he had to do.

"Subaru?" Rem looked at him with an expression of worry

"Hey Rem, can you give me some time to think? I will meet you back at Crusch's place later."

Rem knew that she shouldn't leave Subaru alone, but she was discouraged because her words had no effect on Subaru. She knew that she could not help him, maybe if she was Emilia then she would be able to help him, but she was not Emilia.

After Rem left, Subaru went to the bathroom and found a mirror. Then he began to practice his smile.

He was scared, he hated dying, but if it was to save Rem then he would do it. Besides, he had already killed himself once in order to save Rem in the past, so this was nothing new. So for the second time, Natsuki Subaru killed himself.

Subaru wasted no time once he respawned, immediately he embraced Rem and kissed her. He could tell that she was shocked, but he did not stop.

"Hey! Not in front of my shop!"

Subaru ignored Kademon, to him Rem was the most important person right now. He had to convince her to run away with him, no matter what.

"Rem, I love you."

It was a lie, he loved Emilia, but if he had to lie to save Rem then he would do it. Subaru felt disgusted with himself but

"I have to do this to save Rem." He repeated those words in his head.

"Let's run away together, we'll go west to Kararagi."

He could tell she was confused, but he could not explain anything to her. He remembered how the witch had killed Emilia in a previous loop, he couldn't let the same thing happen to Rem.

"Once we get there, we would rent a room at an inn. A house would be nice, but we would have to worry about a stable income first. You would be able to find a job easily, and I would probably be stuck with physical labour. Even if I don't find a job I will still try my best to support you. Even if it's hard, as long as you are there with me I will try my hardest."

Subaru repeated the words Rem had said in the last loop, making sure to keep a smile on his face the whole time.

"After a while, we could save up money and eventually buy a house. After that, we could have children. Maybe being parents would be hard, but as long as we are together we can manage."

Compared to all of the struggles he had already gone through, being a parent and raising a family did not seem so difficult.

"We would spend our days together, happily married. Eventually, we would grow old surrounded by our children and grandchildren."

Subaru had repeated Rem's words from the previous loop. The fake smile he had practiced earlier stayed on his face the whole time. Now he could only hope that she would accept.

"Subaru, this is all so sudden."

Subaru felt like scum for doing this but

"I know this is sudden, but you have to choose."

He could not let Rem think about this, if she spent more time thinking about it then she would surely refuse him. He had to give her as little time to think on this as possible.

"You have to make a choice right now, me or someone else?"

Rem was conflicted, she knew that there was something wrong with Subaru. She knew that she should not accept and that she should try and convince Subaru to not run away. She knew all of this but she still said

"Yes."