Five

"How can we be sure that StarClan thinks she's the best choice for our leader? She can barely hold down a meal let alone lead an entire Clan."

"Leopardstar herself came to me in a vision, Minnowtail. I don't think there's a clearer sign than that. Besides, you're not in any condition to lead a Clan either."

Minnowtail scowled in annoyance when Mothwing pointed that out. The argument had been happening for quite some time now. Dovewing listened to their argument anxiously, knowing full-well Minnowtail was also right. She was far from ready to lead an entire Clan. Her mind was already racing for dozens of excuses not to take the lead. A kit could lead the Clan better than her as far as she was concerned. She hardly had the time or the energy to take that position seriously, especially knowing that she wouldn't have the backup necessary. Yet, she also knew there was no denying what Mothwing told her the other day.

"Your head must be filled with fleas if you think this is a good idea," Minnowtail scoffed. She started pacing back and forth, tail lashing in annoyance while she kept an eye on the nursery entrance. "We only have five able-bodied cats in this Clan. The kittypets barely know how to defend themselves, and my kits aren't anywhere close to becoming apprentices. What makes you think that a warrior who has hardly had time to train is ready to lead this Clan?"

"For one thing, those kittypets are giving up their lives to help our Clan," Mothwing reminded her. "For another, we need a leader who has compassion and empathy. Someone who can take charge even in the most dire situations. I'm not going to give up my position as medicine cat to lead this Clan. That position belongs to Dovewing."

The dark gray molly glared at her furiously. She was ready to continue arguing when she seemed to think better of it. Dovewing crouched low to the ground as Minnowtail finally whipped around and stormed back to the nursery. She could hear the kits mewling in distress when they sensed their mother's frustration. She had enough faint memories of her time in the nursery to know what it was like when Whitewing was frustrated with Birchfall. Her mother had always kept those emotions at bay whenever she was in the nursery. She would always find a way to soothe her kits whenever they felt her stress. It seemed as if Minnowtail was incapable of doing the same thing.

"I'm confused as to how this tradition works," Smoky admitted after watching the scene unfold before him. "Exactly how is a Clan leader chosen in the first place?"

"Normally a leader is chosen through the deputy," Hollyleaf explained. "However, if there isn't a deputy to pick from, it has to be someone chosen by our ancestors or through a vote of confidence. It has been seasons since something like this happened."

Smoky looked even more confused over the prospect of their ancestors choosing for them. Dovewing almost laughed at his expression. It wasn't as if kittypets were raised to believe in StarClan, so she couldn't blame him for feeling so confused. It would take time for the kittypets to adjust to such traditions, and even then, it might be difficult for them to grasp the concept of StarClan and the warrior code.

Then again, I'm distantly related to Firestar. He was a kittypet himself when he joined the Clans, she reminded herself.

"You're looking happier than I've seen you in a while." Dovewing's ears flattened with embarrassment at the sound of Tigerheart's voice. She hadn't realized until then that he returned with a freshly killed shrew. She gave her chest fur a quick lick to hide her embarrassment, though Tigerheart looked more amused than anything else. "I'm glad… I've missed seeing this side of you."

Her chest crawled with guilt as she looked down at her paws. She felt incredibly selfish for feeling the way she did for so many days. When Mothwing explained that she was suffering from survivor's guilt, everything hit her like a ton of stone. Suddenly, her reaction to eating and the nightmares made sense. She didn't want to believe that she survived out of pure luck or coincidence. Ivypool's accusation still rang in the back of her head, leaving a painful reminder that she survived the battle while everyone else died.

"I'm sorry," she let out a heavy sigh when he offered the shrew. "I know I shouldn't let myself stoop so low."

Everyone else suffered loss here too, another voice told her. They're not acting as if the world ended.

"They're watching over us at the very least," Tigerheart reassured her with a knowing look. Dovewing couldn't help but admire the way he tried lifting up her spirits. She suddenly felt the way she had when they first met. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed or wanted to hear. She cherished the moments they had together, especially nowadays. "I know for a fact that Flametail and Dawnpelt are looking after me. They're probably rolling their eyes over the fact that we've been spending time together."

"Ivypool would probably complain over the fact that I'm mooning over an enemy warrior," she purred in agreement. It took a few heartbeats for her to register what she was implying. Tigerheart's face softened as he processed what she meant by that. "Not that I'm mooning over anyone… it's been great being able to spend time with someone without worrying about the warrior code…"

She trailed off when she realized she was making the situation worse. By now, Tigerheart was stifling a fit of laughter. He pushed the shrew towards her with his muzzle, trying to act as if her words hadn't effected him.

"And if you were mooning over someone, who would that someone be?" he asked curiously. Dovewing took a tentative bite out of the shrew, suddenly feeling better than she had in days. "I'm sure Smoky wouldn't mind."

Dovewing rolled her eyes in exasperation and nudged him playfully, "I think it's safe to say that we both know who I'm mooning over, Tigerheart."

The dark tabby blinked in surprise at her honesty. It was only then that he seemed ruffled over the fact that she cared about him as more than a friend. It was only then that she realized how true that was. Tigerheart had been there for her even when they were apprentices. He was there for her after the battle and when they started burying the bodies. He cared more about her than she realized, and that was enough for her fur to warm with more than just appreciation.

"Dovewing, I—"

"We should get moving if we want to speak with StarClan." Tigerheart's ears flattened when Mothwing interrupted them. The medicine cat hadn't missed the way they were whispering to one another. Or the fact that Dovewing managed to hold down the shrew she was sharing with him. "I'd like to get this done and over with sooner rather than later."

Dovewing shared a knowing look with Tigerheart before rising to her paws. Her stomach suddenly felt as if a stone was embedded within it. She felt heavier than usual as she realized that this would be the last time she considered herself a warrior. She wasn't sure if she would receive nine lives like a normal leader, but if she had to, she would accept the position StarClan chose for her.

"We'll be back in the morning," she whispered after rubbing her muzzle against his.

They reluctantly parted ways once Mothwing made it clear they needed to leave.

The trip to the Moonpool went on in relative silence. Dovewing could tell that Mothwing wanted to say something. The dappled molly kept looking in her direction a few times along the way, as if she was trying to figure out where to begin. Her pelt bristled at the thought of having to explain her behavior towards Tigerheart. Strangely enough, Tigerheart and Mothwing were distant kin, so the medicine cat might be protective of him for that reason.

"I'm glad that he's been looking out for you," Mothwing suddenly meowed. Dovewing stiffened in surprise when she caught the hidden meaning behind Mothwing's statement. "I know what it's like to experience what you're going through. Losing Tadpole was hard on myself and Hawkfrost. I… we never really had the chance to properly grieve over his death. I don't think Hawkfrost ever forgave himself for what happened to our brother. It doesn't make up for what he did, but I also understand why he went down that path."

I won't turn into Hawkfrost or Tigerstar, Dovewing silently vowed.

She saw what Hawkfrost did to her sister. Not only did Hawkfrost torment Ivypool in her dreams, but he was also the one that tore her apart in the living world. Dovewing was certain of that. She might not have seen who was responsible for mutilating her sister, but she had little doubt which cat caused that kind of pain.

Fortunately the rest of their journey to the Moonpool went smoothly. Dovewing tried focusing her thoughts on the path looming ahead. Anxiety weighed down on her like a layer of leaves. She wasn't sure what she would do once she earned her nine lives. Or if such a thing still existed in StarClan. Then there was the need to name their new Clan. There were so many new responsibilities she would have to think about.

It wasn't until seeing the boulders, bushes and moss that concealed the Moonpool that reality hit her like a wave.

Dovewing stopped in her tracks and glanced at Mothwing anxiously. The dappled molly seemed so confident before, but Dovewing picked up a trace of fear-scent rolling off of her. Mothwing dipped her head and led the way through the thick undergrowth that concealed the Moonpool. It hadn't been touched during the battle or since, giving the undergrowth a chance to take over.

"I suppose now is as good time as any to admit that I never did anything like this before," Mothwing admitted. Dovewing tilted her head in confusion as Mothwing let out a heavy sigh. "Until this battle, I didn't believe in StarClan. I always thought it was just a myth used to scare the kits into submission. After all, Hawkfrost faked my sign so that I could become the next medicine cat. Why else would StarClan let me be RiverClan's medicine cat?" She paused and glared at nothing in particular, as if thinking of those memories was painful enough. "I learned the hard way that I was wrong. I hope that I can make up for my mistake by helping this new Clan."

She wasn't sure how to respond as realization dawned on her. Mothwing never made it obvious in the past that she didn't believe in StarClan. Then again, they hardly knew each other until now. She looked down at her paws thoughtfully while trying to figure out what to say.

"You've already done that and so much more, Mothwing," she tried reassuring the medicine cat. It was Mothwing's turn to look surprised when Dovewing stood up and reached her. "You helped lead this Clan when it needed a leader, and you brought us all together. I'd say that makes a good medicine cat in my eyes."

Warmth swept across the dappled molly's face at Dovewing's praise. Even though she was younger and had less experience, she suddenly sounded wiser beyond her years. Mothwing returned the gesture by brushing her muzzle against Dovewing's.

"Thank you, Dovewing," she whispered.

...

She never imagined what it would be like to communicate with StarClan. When she heard Jayfeather talk about it, it always sounded like an incredible experience. So she lay at the base of the Moonpool and carefully touched the water with her muzzle, unsure of what to expect. It was only when she closed her eyes that the world seemed to shift around her.

The atmosphere changed into something calm and peaceful. She picked up familiar scents in the air. When she finally opened her eyes, she found herself standing in the middle of a large clearing surrounded by ancient looking trees, with the Moonpool at the center. Her eyes widened in surprise as she tried taking everything in at once. Though her surprise was quickly replaced with a mixture of emotions when she spotted cats emerging from the undergrowth.

Her heart nearly skipped a beat as she recognized all of them. Their fur glittered with Starlight. They were no longer covered in wounds left by the Dark Forest warriors. Dovewing couldn't help but look around with a mixture of awe and guilt. Cats of all ages emerged from the undergrowth. Some of them looked as if they weren't even a couple of moons old. Then another face appeared that left her heart cracking with grief and guilt.

"Welcome, Dovewing." She was torn from looking at her sister when Firestar's voice captured her attention. The flame-colored leader looked brilliant with the glow of StarClan covering his pelt. In fact, it almost looked as if he was alight with flames. "We are pleased that you were the one chosen to lead this new Clan."

"This isn't just because I'm a ThunderClan cat, is it?" she asked warily. Firestar looked more amused than offended over her question. "I'm not sure if I'm the right cat for this role… I'm not exactly in any position to lead this Clan."

"And yet, you've already helped Mothwing, Hollyleaf and Tigerheart," Firestar pointed out.

Dovewing's fur bristled with surprise at that.

"You weren't chosen just for that pretty face or the fact that you're also Firestar's kin," Leopardstar put in. Dovewing was even more embarrassed over her comment, and it took everything she had not to groan in annoyance when the RiverClan leader looked at her with equal amusement. "You have something that the others lack: Compassion and empathy. The Clan needs someone who can lead them into something greater than the original four Clans. That is why we chose you."

"I still say a rock could have led the Clan," Blackstar muttered crossly. "But as much as I hate to admit it, Leopardstar is right."

"At the very least, there's a cat from every Clan to continue our legacy," Onestar added.

"Before we start squabbling over how right we are, perhaps we should get started with the ceremony," Firestar suggested.

She couldn't help but feel warmed over the fact that they were trying to ease the tension. Or at least Firestar was. She watched as the cats broke off into groups. It was obvious they already chose who would provide lives for her. She closed her eyes for a brief moment to keep it a surprise. She hoped that she had the chance to talk to Ivypool again. If anything to beg for her forgiveness over everything that happened.

"Dovewing." Her eyes snapped open at the sound of Mousefur's voice. The former elder looked seasons younger in StarClan. She couldn't help but wonder at that. "With this life I give you wisdom, so that you may teach all of the younger cats in this Clan how to care for one another the way you and the others cared for us elders."

Mousefur leaned forward and pressed her muzzle against Dovewing's forehead. The moment lasted for a few heartbeats, but it felt like an eternity when pain clawed at her. She bit back a wail of surprise as the pain grew stronger and stronger. It felt as if someone was ripping her fur off, and it only took a split second for her to register that this was what Mousefur experienced before she died. Her heart twisted a little when the pain subsided into a dull throbbing.

Stars, is this what all of the lives are going to feel like? she wondered.

She wasn't given the chance to mull it over when another cat emerged from the group. This time it was Mistyfoot of RiverClan. The gray molly looked at her in amusement as she reached her, almost as if she could sense Dovewing's growing panic.

"With this life I give you loyalty, so that you may remember the warrior code and pass it's wisdom to newer generations," she meowed.

This time Dovewing braced herself for the surge of energy that coursed through her. It took everything she had not to cry out from the intensity of this life. By the time she managed to shake it off, another cat took Mistyfoot's place. Dovewing blinked in surprise when she recognized Crowfeather as the newcomer. The dark gray tom looked more ashamed than anything else, though he did a good job at hiding it.

"With this life I give you courage, so that you may face even the darkest of times," he told her. Dovewing blinked in surprise when he passed on the life to her. Unlike Mistyfoot and Mousefur, this life wasn't filled with pain. She felt energy run through her, giving her the strength to run around the lake several times over. "Thank you, for keeping the memory of WindClan alive in Hollyleaf."

She merely nodded in understanding. She knew now that Crowfeather and Leafpool were the parents of Jayfeather, Lionblaze and Hollyleaf. Though it had been a shock at first, the Clans learned to accept it. She was only just beginning to understand what lengths a cat would go to in order to protect their family, especially in terms of the warrior code.

"I wish things could have worked out differently for you and Leafpool," she whispered.

Crowfeather blinked in surprise before shrugging, "We have plenty of time to think about it now."

He returned to the group of WindClan cats lingering in the background. Dovewing did her best to wait patiently as another cat emerged from the crowd. Though she knew she couldn't wait any longer when she saw who the newcomer was. She barely gave her sister the chance to approach when she closed the distance between them. Ivypool let out a purr when she reached her so their foreheads bumped.

"Mousebrain, you're supposed to act like a leader now," she scolded Dovewing lightly. "I've missed you."

"Ivypool, I'm so sorry for everything that happened," she apologized. She wanted to wail over the fact that they had such a short amount of time together. Ivypool didn't stop her as she kept whispering those words and more. "I can't help but feel guilty over the fact that I survived and everyone else—"

"Get a hold of yourself, Dovewing," Ivypool rolled her eyes in exasperation. "So what if I died? You're still alive, and that's what matters." Dovewing wasn't sure how to respond when Ivypool looked at her with an expression filled with compassion. "With this life I give you hope. Hope for a better future and hope that the Clan will thrive under your leadership."

Dovewing readily embraced this life. She wasn't expecting the surge of pain that flowed through her. Her teeth ground together as agony soon followed, and it took everything she had not to beg for it to end. She knew this was what Ivypool experienced before she died. She could feel everything, from the claws tearing her apart to the glee the Dark Forest cats felt when they tore her to shreds.

She was trembling from the aftershocks when Ivypool reluctantly left her. It took a few heartbeats for her to recover from the pain, only for Dawnpelt to replace Ivypool shortly after. Her heart sank even further when she saw the fierce determination written across Dawnpelt's face. The cream-furred molly didn't have the chance to prove herself alongside Flametail and Tigerheart. She suddenly felt guiltier than ever for taking Tigerheart away from everything he knew.

"For the record, I'm glad my idiot of a brother chose you," Dawnpelt deadpanned. Dovewing's mouth hung open for a few heartbeats when Dawnpelt looked at her in amusement. "Did you honestly think he tried hiding how much he loved you? Even a rat could smell it from across the lake." Dawnpelt's whiskers twitched with laughter as she pressed her muzzle against Dovewing's forehead. "With this life I give you compassion. Use it to protect and guide the Clan even in the darkest of times."

This life wasn't as intense as Ivypool's, and Dovewing was grateful for that. Though her relief was short-lived when Dawnpelt was replaced with Whitewing. Her heart sank even further when Whitewing reached her, letting their muzzles brush. Whitewing wasn't as hesitant as Ivypool when it came to showing her affection. She wrapped her tail around Dovewing in a protective manner, providing her with the comfort she desperately craved from her mother.

"With this life I give you love that only a mother would feel. Protect each and every cat in this Clan as if they were your own kit."

Nothing could have prepared Dovewing for the intensity of this life. Unlike Ivypool's life, this life felt more like agony, grief and outrage. She pictured the kits that were killed during the battle. Some of them weren't even weaned from their mother's milk. She couldn't imagine what that must have felt like before their lives slipped away. She was horrified over the fact that their lives had been taken so cruelly, and she vowed to never let anything like that happen again.

"Take care, Dovewing," Whitewing whispered before reluctantly parting ways.

Whitewing was quickly replaced with another cat Dovewing didn't expect to see again. She blinked in surprise at the sight of Lionblaze. The golden tabby looked even more powerful with starlight on his fur. She felt comforted by the warmth sweeping across his face. In spite of the pain they went through before this, he had a reason to literally glow.

"With this life I give you strength. Use it to guide your Clan even when you feel as if all of your energy has been drained."

Dovewing tipped her head to one side to accept this life. It was similar to Mistyfoot's life. She realized with a start that she was getting stronger with each life. That was all the encouragement she needed for the last two lives. To her surprise, Kestrelflight was next on the roster. The medicine cat had always been friendly with everyone, in spite of the tension that went on with WindClan. She supposed she shouldn't have been so surprised by his eagerness to provide a life.

"With this life I give you the ability to see even in the darkest of times," he meowed. He paused and curled his tail thoughtfully. "I'm sorry that there was always tension between WindClan and ThunderClan. It shouldn't have been that way all the time."

She nodded in understanding, not missing the way Onestar scowled in annoyance. Considering he was half of the reason behind the constant tension, she understood why he was so annoyed.

Fortunately she didn't have time to dwell on the topic. She waited patiently for the final cat, blinking in surprise when the newcomer was Firestar himself. The former ThunderClan leader looked more than proud of the fact that she was standing there amongst them. Yet there was also something else flickering across those green eyes… something Dovewing couldn't quite describe.

"When I was made leader, Bluestar was the one who gave me my final life," he explained. "I suppose it's only fitting that I be the last cat to give you your life." Dovewing purred in agreement to that. "With this life I give you nobility and longevity, so that you may live for many seasons to come."

She welcomed this life with ease, this time feeling a renewed sense of energy course through her. She felt warmed by the fact that Firestar had so much faith in her as a leader. She hoped that she could live up to their expectations.

"I strip you of your old name and hail you by your new name: Dovestar."

She blinked in confusion when it suddenly sounded as if several cats were speaking at once. Nothing could have prepared her for the sudden rush of pride that swept through her as cats cheered her new name.

"Now we must leave you," Leopardstar meowed once the cheering faded. "We will always watch over LakeClan, as we have watched over all the Clans."

It took a split second for Dovestar to register the fact that Leopardstar had given their Clan a name.

LakeClan… it's fitting, she realized.

"Thank you," she nodded her thanks before looking at Ivypool once more. Her sister's gaze was warm and filled with love, something that she desperately missed seeing. "All of you."

She closed her eyes and pictured the ceremony once more, knowing full-well that her life changed forever now that it was over.