Chapter 50: Weight

Kirara didn't let her body relax until she stepped out of the Senkaimon, and found herself in the air high above Karakura Town. Even that didn't make her smile, as she used Shunpo to reach the ground quickly.

She landed in the grounds of Kisuke's shop, taking a deep breath. It was raining heavily, and within only a few moments she was soaked through, but she didn't move to find shelter.

"You look like hell," Kisuke's quiet comment told Kirara that she didn't have to tell him anything. She turned to him, unable to even try to put a smile on. She knew she looked like hell. Her pink flannel shirt was ripped and bloody, worn over bandages wrapped around her chest, shoulder and stomach, while her face was covered in cuts and bruises, including a split lit.

Kirara opened her mouth, but no words came out. She didn't know what to say to the man who was straightening up nearby. Though most of his face was shadowed by the ridiculous bucket hat he wore, his mouth was set in a grim line. Their loss to Aizen weighed heavily over both of them.

After asking Kuroro for his help, Kirara had stopped by Ichigo and the others, kneeling beside them. While still badly injured, Ichigo was already looking much better than he had done.

"Kirara!" Orihime exclaimed as she knelt beside her. She clutched the book that Kyoraku had given her, keeping it close. "Are you okay?" she asked, and Kirara managed a small smile at her concern.

"I'm fine. I've had worse, trust me," she insisted, and winced. Not just because of how tragic that sounded, but the word 'trust' felt hollow. "Ichigo, I-"

"Save it," she stopped abruptly when Ichigo cut her off sharply. "I'm not mad at you, idiot. You had your reasons, but you still tried to save Rukia all the same," he said, and Kirara stared at him with wide eyes. "After that guy got what he wanted, you tried to stop him from killing her. How could I be mad at you?" he asked. Kirara was silent, mulling over his words as the others sitting around Ichigo nodded.

"We're just glad you're alright," Chad spoke softly.

"We figured you had your own intentions for going," Uryu shrugged. "And you helped get this idiot across the Seireitei to begin with," he pointed out.

"Kirara always finds it bizarre that people like her," Yoruichi smirked, nudging Kirara with her foot as she appeared beside them.

"Shut up," Kirara rolled her eyes. "Thank you all," she bowed to the group, surprising them. She then cast a look around, but none of the other Shinigami were nearby, keeping their distance.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Orihime's quiet question made Kirara turn to the orange-haired girl, who watched with concern. Kirara nodded.

"I have to. There are things that they want to know that I…I'm not ready to talk about yet," her smile was pained, and she glanced at Ichigo. "Now that Aizen has stepped out of the shadows and has the Hogyoku, there are things I need to do. Don't worry, you have Yoruichi here, and this lot are hailing you as heroes for trying to stop Aizen. You'll be safe," Kirara told them, but Orihime's lip jutted out and began to quiver.

"You're not going to disappear, are you?" Kirara was surprised that Uryu was the one to ask. "I think Orihime's kind of attached to you," he said with a faint smile, and Kirara almost laughed.

"Don't you worry," she reached out and patted Orihime on the head gently. "You haven't gotten rid of me just yet. I'll see you soon enough," Kirara promised, and got to her feet to brush the dirt on her legs. It was a ridiculous gesture - she was covered in blood. "After all, we go back to school in a few weeks," Kirara winked, and Orihime smiled at her.

"Right!"

Kirara hadn't been able to shake the guilt of leaving again, without a proper goodbye to Natsuki, Haruki or Hanataro. Yoruichi had already promised to share a message with them, and Kirara knew that it was better for her to disappear now. Especially before anyone remembered that she had the death penalty over her head. She might have tried to stop Aizen, but she couldn't risk it.

"Ichigo is an incredible kid," Kirara finally spoke, turning fully to Kisuke as he adjusted his hat. "I have no doubt that he's only going to get stronger," she admitted, and he nodded.

"He's going to need your help, isn't he?" Kisuke asked, and Kirara arched an eyebrow at him.

"You've known that since before we went to the Soul Society, Kisuke. Don't play dumb with me, it ain't cute," her scolding finally earned her a faint smile from the man. "I…" Kirara hesitated, and Kisuke's smile grew.

"How about I won't apologise, if you don't?" he suggested. Kirara smiled softly at his words.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed.

"Do you want Tessai to look over those wounds?" he asked, but Kirara shook her head.

"Squad 4 were kind enough to look after me enough, and…" she tried to keep her smile, but it twisted as her breath caught. "I just want to go home," Kirara told him, fighting the shaking in her voice.

"Look after yourself, Kirara," he told her quietly.

"You too, Kisuke. And keep an eye on Ichigo," Kirara added. "He's incredible in so many ways, but he's kind of dense," she added. Kisuke nodded.

"Right," he agreed, watching as Kirara left the shop grounds.

She walked, feeling that weight over her as she passed through the streets that had become as familiar to her as the streets of the Seireitei. The rain only seemed to get heavier, pelting her and bouncing off the ground as she made her way back to the industrial district of Karakura Town.

Finally she reached their base, staring up at the familiar barrier that kept them hidden from detection. Nobody even saw the barrier, feeling compelled to look away unless they were a Vizard, thanks to Hachi's hard work and prowess with Kido.

Kirara raised a hand to press against it, more out of habit than anything, but paused before she touched the barrier. Something in her hesitated, and she couldn't bring herself to touch it; to announce her return.

Because if they knew she was back, they would learn that she'd failed.

Thinking of Kisuke's grim look, Kirara's shame rose up. After everything, she'd failed to stop Aizen from getting the Hogyoku, and showed her face after a hundred years to people who thought she was dead. It was a wasted effort, and for that moment Kirara found herself unable to go inside.

"What the-" she jumped, so consumed by her thoughts that she hadn't sensed Hiyori emerging from the barrier nearby. The short blonde had been caught off guard too with Kirara standing in the shadows, completely soaked. "You're back," Hiyori stared up at her, her usual scowl missing. Had Kirara been thinking clearly, she would have seen the relief in her face. "Did you…" Hiyori trailed off as she took in Kirara properly. Her hair was stuck to her face, and her clothes were ruined and clinging to her, while the bandages were on show and starting to fall apart in the rain. Her shoulders slumped in realisation.

"I…" Kirara started, her voice trembling. She had to stop herself as her breathing came out uneven and shaky as she desperately fought the emotion that was bubbling up inside of her. Hiyori took a step back in alarm as she realised that it wasn't just rain running down Kirara's face, and the woman put her hands to her face. Her shoulders began to shake as the emotions she so desperately fought against overwhelmed her.

"Baldy! Get out here now!" Kirara didn't hear Hiyori's screech as the familiar feel of her presence whispered to Kirara that she was back, that she was home with the only people she ever truly felt safe with.

So overwhelmed, Kirara didn't hear the gentle call of her name. A pair of hands were then on hers, trying to pry them away carefully. Kirara fought it, but his grip was too strong. When Shinji finally managed to get her to lower her hands, Kirara pushed in to cling to his chest, unwilling to look at what his expression was. Her uneven breaths had turned to sobs, as all she could do was stand there, her cries mixed in with the sound of the rain.

She was back, but things were far from over.

Kirara hadn't realised how worn out she was until she woke up in her own bed. She had blacked out before she'd even realised it, using the last of her dwindling energy as she broke down in the rain.

She woke slowly, blinking up at the familiar concrete ceiling of the little room she'd claimed as her own when they had made the warehouse their base. Her clothes were dry, but her hair was still damp from the rain.

'Not out for too long, I guess,' Kirara thought, relieved that she hadn't somehow slept for days. When she heard quiet breathing beside her, Kirara rolled over onto her side and found Shinji sitting on the ground beside the bed, his back against the nightstand as he dozed. Just the sight of him caused a lump to rise in her throat, and she quickly blinked back tears to reach out and touch his shoulder.

His eyes opened instantly, and it took less than half a breath for his mind to catch up as he looked around at her. Relief filled Shinji's gaze as he saw Kirara awake, watching him with sharp eyes. For a moment, neither spoke, not seeming what to say.

"Kirara-" Shinji stopped, having been starting to rise to his feet when Kirara's arms went around his neck and she fell out of bed to hug him tightly. He slumped back down, caught off guard, before his own arms went around her and he buried his face in her hair. "You need to be careful, those injuries-"

"Don't care," Kirara muttered, and heard his quiet huff. "I missed you," she whispered before his arms tightened around her.

"I didn't think it possible to miss you as much as I have," Shinji's voice was low as he released her, tilting her head up so he could kiss her. Kirara inhaled quietly at the touch, her chest hurting at just how much she'd missed him. It had only been a week, but it felt like so much longer. She pushed those thoughts aside, thinking only of him as he kissed her softly; his hands on her waist to keep her steady as she knelt beside him.

Kirara gave a little huff when he pulled back, and she was rewarded by the faintest smile before Shinji stood and brought her with him, lifting her enough to set her down on the bed carefully. As he did, she refused to let him go, and he ended up beside her as she pulled him down so she could return her lips to his.

For a moment, Shinji felt himself losing his control, drawn into the whirlwind that was Kirara. He had spent every moment from when she had left to go to Kisuke's thinking about it, hoping that she was okay. Then she'd returned, and her mental state seemed to be as battered as her body. Having Kirara kissing him again, her hands grasping his shirt to keep him close, was a relief he had never expected to feel.

Eventually Shinji pulled back and put his hands on Kirara's. She huffed again - a cute sound that any other time would have earned her a lot of teasing - but didn't fight him. "Before you make me lose complete control, the others are still waiting and I really would rather they not come crashing in here and see things that only I should see," he breathed, and was pleased by the blush that spread across her face.

"Fine," she whispered back, slowly pushing herself into a sitting position as she finally let go of him and let him sit beside her, watching her carefully. Kirara then touched the bandages that were keeping her injuries safe from infection.

"Hachi checked you over, but said it's all fine," Shinji said, curiosity in his eyes as Kirara frowned.

"Where's the book?" her question made him frown. "The book I had. Where is it?" she asked again, sounding like she was starting to panic.

"It's right there," Shinji gestured to the nightstand he'd been sleeping against. Kirara breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the book sitting there beside her ribbon, removed from her hair while she slept. The book seemed undamaged by the rain, and her shoulders slumped.

"Some Squad 4 members tended to my injuries. I'm fine, just…sore," she admitted quietly, and Shinji fought his impulse to reach out and pull her close. "I couldn't stop him. I'm so-" before Kirara could apologise, he shushed her. "Shinji," Kirara huffed in annoyance, and this time earned a proper smile as she lifted her gaze to scowl at him.

"The only time I want you apologising is when you're annoying me," he told her, grinning as her irritation turned to exasperation at his demand.

"Good luck with that," she warned, unable to fight her own smile as the teasing allowed her to breathe. Shinji reached over to cup her cheek, and his thumb brushed the bruise over her eye. Kirara leaned into his touch.

"Tell me what happened," he asked, and some of the warmth in Kirara's expression faded.

"We should talk with everyone else too. This isn't something I want to have to repeat," she said quietly. Shinji nodded, pulling her close enough to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Before he could move away, however, Kirara caught his hand. "But first…" she angled to lift the book from the dresser by her bed, and he tilted his head. Shinji couldn't deny that he was curious about the strange leather-bound book that looked older than he was, but hadn't looked inside.

Kirara looked at the book she held, which was dry and undamaged. She hadn't dared to look inside it yet. "A lot happened, and I still don't understand some of it, so I don't want to tell the others until then, but…" Kirara started to tell Shinji about Satoru.

She told him about how Satoru had been her trusted friend from the moment she had joined the Onmitsukido, until he'd stepped out from behind the trees and tried to prevent her from reaching Aizen. She told him about what he'd said about her blood, and what Aizen had continued for him, taunting her before telling her to ask the Captain-Commander.

Shinji listened quietly, but his tense form and hold on her hand told her that he was struggling not to just lock her away in the room and stop her from going out again. "When I asked the old man, he gave me this," Kirara looked down at the book in her hand. "It's to do with Captain Furofushi Saito, the original Captain of Squad 6," Shinji's eyes widened at the implications of her words.

"So you're…" he finally spoke, alarm clear in his gaze. Kirara shrugged, not looking up.

"Her descendant, apparently," she answered him. Shinji was silent for a long moment, until Kirara's nerves grew too much to handle and she finally looked up. He looked thoughtful, as if thinking it over.

"Nothing is ever simple for you, is it Princess?" he asked softly. Kirara immediately slapped his arm.

"Don't call me that," she warned, and Shinji grinned as he pulled her into his arms. Kirara realised too late that he was teasing to calm her down; to stop her from overthinking and stressing about something that Aizen had revealed to throw her off. "Shinji…he had me," Kirara muttered as she curled into his arms, inhaling deeply.

"What?" Shinji frowned, not understanding.

"Aizen had me beat. He cut Natsuki down faster than I could even see, and he did the same to Haruki. But me, he just…" Kirara reached out and grasped his shirt as she remembered. "He refused to kill me," she said quietly. It had been something she'd debated telling him, but Kirara knew that Shinji would only be angrier if she had kept it to herself.

"Why? Because of this bloodline thing?" he asked, not understanding. Kirara shook her head.

"No," her voice was soft as she lifted her head and put a hand on his face. "Because of you," Kirara didn't look away as he stared down at her. "He told me he wouldn't kill me until you were there," Kirara admitted, and for a moment Shinji stared at her. Anger and disbelief flashed across his face, rendered speechless by her confession.

Then Kirara found herself on her back, his mouth on hers in a rough, heated kiss that threatened to overwhelm her as Shinji's hands went into her hair and tangled amongst the black locks. Swept along by the passion behind it, Kirara's stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies as all she could do was move with him.

"That's never going to happen," Kirara had never heard the low growl of protective anger from him. His usual deadpan, laid-back manner had vanished as something seemed to burn in him. Shinji pulled back just enough to meet her gaze, and Kirara stared breathlessly up at the man who had her pinned to the bed. "He'll never get that chance," he vowed.

He was surprised then, when Kirara smiled at him. It was a gentle smile, and that burning anger started to fade. She reached up, putting her hand on his face again as he remained over her.

"I know," she said softly. "I know," Kirara repeated, and Shinji took a ragged breath as he managed to calm down.

"How do you manage to do this to me?" he complained, but it was half-hearted. Kirara just smiled as she followed him up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She didn't answer him; she didn't have an answer, but that kiss had settled that lingering fear in her heart.

Reluctantly Kirara eased herself back off the bed and onto stiff legs, but she stayed standing as she lifted her ribbon. "You sure you're alright, Princess?" Shinji asked as he took the ribbon from her. Kirara went to turn around, only for him to gather up her hair to tie it up.

"Don't call me that," she muttered once more, but stayed still all the same. Shinji grinned, and after making sure that the ribbon was secure, he leaned in and kissed her exposed shoulder. Kirara shivered, and fought not to turn around. "If you keep that up, we won't make it out of this room," she hissed.

She wanted nothing more than to turn around and shove him back onto the bed, to forget the last week and what she needed to tell the others, but it would only be a temporary reprieve. So instead, Kirara grabbed his hand, refusing to turn around as she left the book on her table and dragged him out of the room.

Kirara's story went down about as well as she expected, as the other Vizards listened as patiently as they could to what she had to say. She told them of Aizen stepping out of the shadows, claiming the Hogyoku as he cut down practically everyone who tried to get in his way.

"Well, I think we can at least appreciate that they're not skulking about in the shadows anymore," Love admitted, breaking the uncomfortable quiet that was starting to descend on the group.

"No, they're skulking about in Hueco damn Mundo now," Kensei ran a hand down his face as he processed what Kirara had to tell them. "That place has fallen apart. Captains fighting each other instead of the Ryoka, and others only going after who they think is strongest?" he shook his head in disgust.

"Plus three Lieutenants getting themselves arrested," Kirara added with a grim smile on her face. "Two of them for fighting each other, I heard," she said, and they huffed.

"Arrested for fighting each other? We did that all the time," Hiyori folded her arms.

"Yeah, but we weren't stupid enough to use Shikai on each other," Kirara snorted, having heard about it from whispers she'd eavesdropped on. Hiyori gave a disgusted snort. The others looked just as unimpressed. "But politics of the Gotei 13 aside, the fact that Aizen has the Hogyoku now means that something much worse is coming," she pointed out.

"It was always going to happen," Shinji spoke up. He hadn't let Kirara out of his arms once she'd started talking, and his chin was resting lightly on her head. She didn't struggle, letting him do what he wanted even as Hiyori complained about how clingy he was.

"Shinji's right," Rose agreed. He'd looked thoroughly relieved to see Kirara, and even though she was the bearer of bad news, he was glad she was back. "We knew that there was an end in mind, and once you returned to the Soul Society, we knew we had to be prepared for the event that he succeeded," he said. Kirara didn't reply - she knew that it wasn't a comment about believing she'd fail, it was just something they had to be prepared for.

"It just so happens that we have to prepare for it sooner rather than later," Hachi said with a nod.

"Right…" Kirara's soft voice made Shinji's eyebrows furrow. She idly reached up and rubbed her left shoulder, staying quiet.

"There's more, isn't there?" Rose was the one to ask, knowing her well enough too that he could tell that she hadn't revealed the end of the story just yet.

"What else could possibly have happened?" Kensei demanded, and Kirara almost snorted.

"Something that Kisuke neglected to mention because he felt that there was enough time. But there's not," she took in a breath, and looked at her friends who were watching her warily. They could all see the grim look on her face. "When Kisuke helped Ichigo get his powers back, they came with a catch. One that we are uniquely capable of handling," realisation dawned on them all at different times.

"You can't mean…" even Shinji sounded stunned as he lightened his grip on her.

"Ichigo has an Inner Hollow, and it's threatening to take control."

Now we're onto one of my favourite arcs (for very obvious reasons). Will Kirara be able to talk some sense into Ichigo? Seems unlikely.

Hope you liked it!