They sat in silence for hours, just watching the calm water against a backdrop of blue sky. Evelyn didn't feel like moving, not yet, not when her bones felt like pudding and her muscles were nonexistent through an onslaught of pain. Tom didn't seem to feel like moving when she was back in his arms. She wasn't going to argue, not when his tight hold on her felt incredible.
Tom held her like he was trying to convince himself that she was really there and she stayed there because she, too, needed to be reminded every time it seemed like she was going back under the water.
After several moments of silence, Evelyn finally spoke. "I died," she whispered. "I saw it. Death."
He frowned. "What did you see, Little Dove?"
"It was warm. And light. My father was there. My mother, too. They smiled at me and welcomed me into their arms. My mother was about to tell me something when..." Evelyn trailed off.
"When?" he pressed.
"When shadows started to surround us and they told me that I had to leave. I woke up here on the beach." She looked up into his deep brown eyes. How did she ever think she could go without those eyes? Those eyes that looked like deep rivers of chocolate she wanted desperately to swim in. "With you."
Tom just hugged her tighter. She was back where she belonged. He was back where he belonged. Everything seemed right in the world again.
Evelyn rested her head on his chest, looking out onto the water with haunted eyes. "I didn't want to die. I thought I did but when the lake grabbed onto me, all I could think about was how much I still wanted to live."
"I'm glad you want to live."
She sighed and snuggled deeper. "Me too."
It was around midday when Tom began to lead her to the manor. Evelyn noticed with a deep rose-colored blush that he had been in some tight black underwear the entire time. It made sense considering she was wearing all of his clothes but before, that thought hadn't seemed to come up in her mind. Now, as she looked at his toned stomach, at the line that disappeared into the waistband, at the minuscule amount of hair trailing downward, Evelyn wished she'd noticed a lot sooner.
Tom held tightly onto her hand even when they entered the manor. She wouldn't have let go even if he let her. Right now, he was the anchor keeping her here. He was the calm to her storm, the comfort to her panic. He was everything she needed and more.
He was silent as he led her to the den—still in his underwear she might add. Was Evelyn debating on lighting all of his clothes on fire so he could only walk around like this? Yes, yes she was. Honestly, looking at Tom's body was one of the few things keeping her mind off of the fact that she spent a week being tortured before dying in a lake.
A few sparks flew from his wand into the fireplace. Tom let go of her hand and picked up one of the antique armchairs like it weighed nothing before placing it in front of the hearth. Wordlessly, he grabbed her by the waist and set her in the chair. Then, he disappeared.
Evelyn stared at the crackling fire. Pop, the embers went. Pop. It was the same noise her ribs made when Key hit her stomach. Crack. The sound of her arm when Locke held it back one night.
And just like that, Evelyn was transported back into that dungeon. She was no longer in Black Manor but in the dark cell again, waiting to see whether they would bring food or pain, not knowing whether she preferred Key's harsh hands or Locke's vile ones.
Evelyn gripped the armchair tightly as she was reminded of exactly everything that happened. Punch... thrust... cry... drugs... pain. How long had she sat there, wishing for death? And now, death had come for her, haunted her until she fell to the bottom of the lake and was surrounded by its icy grip.
Will your loverboy still want you when I'm done with you? Locke once taunted. Now that you've been tainted by my body? I don't think so. I'll forever be in your skin, sweetheart. You'll forever be mine. She wished he wasn't handsome. She wished that she could have looked up at his face and felt nothing but revulsion but her traitorous body hadn't gotten the memo.
It's just natural. You cannot help it. This isn't your choice, she told herself as she stared up at the ceiling, salty tears burning down her throat as she tried to take her mind away from the pain.
But she couldn't get away, not even now, not even when Locke was dead. He still haunted her, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing until she couldn't breathe.
Evelyn choked while gripping the chair. "Get off me!" she cried, wishing the vision of Locke would just go away. "I don't want this! No!"
And then suddenly, a cocoon of warm shadows wrapped around her. It cut off the dreadful fire and shut out the visions until she could see nothing but black.
A pair of arms held her tightly. "Little Dove, you're alright," a voice cooed. "I'm here. You're safe. I'm here."
"Tom," Evelyn sobbed, leaning into his embrace. She could smell darkness and musk. He must have put on a shirt while he was gone. "Please don't leave me, Tom."
"I'm right here, darling. I'm not going anywhere."
"You will," she stuttered. He stiffened.
"Why would you ever say such lies, my darling?"
"Because you will." A tear rolled down her face. "I'm tainted now. Ruined."
"Don't you dare say that," Tom growled. He tightened his grip on her but not in a painful way. More of a reminder that he was here and that he wouldn't let go. "What that bastard did changes nothing. If anything, I am more in awe of your strength now than ever before. But your worth is not defined by what happened in that dungeon. It is defined by your heart and your soul. Evelyn, you are absolutely wonderful. You are everything to me. I thought that before and I think it now. My love is not so fickle that an asshole like him could affect it even in the slightest."
She sniffled and looked up at him. "Really?"
"Really, Little Dove. I love you. Truly, ardently, passionately. Loving you is like breathing air. It comes so naturally that I sometimes feel myself suffocating trying to consume all of you."
Evelyn hadn't realized how much she needed to hear those words. She hadn't realized that she needed to sit there by the fire and warm herself—which Tom helped her do after their conversation. She hadn't realized that she needed a hearty meal until Tom had Kreacher prepare one and served it to her. She hadn't realized she needed a hot bath until he was there, holding her hand as she cried with fear of the water. She hadn't realized she needed anyone to heal. And perhaps, in a way, she hadn't really needed any of those things.
She just needed Tom.
. . .
The next few days were some of the hardest of Evelyn's life.
Tom stuck by her side through it all, not even letting her relieve herself alone (because when she tried to the first time, she broke down and sobbed all over the floor). He made sure she was bathed, fed, and dressed. He took her on walks in the garden for some chilled fresh air. He handed her books to read—though she struggled to read them with how much her mind wandered. He held her through the night as nightmare after nightmare came, spooning her from behind so he could whisper comforting words in her ear. He let her sit beside him on the shores of the lake as he worked to remove centuries of dark magic from it.
Slowly, things started to heal.
Emphasis on slowly. Evelyn still couldn't bathe alone without becoming terrified of being trapped under the water. Tom struggled to remove some of the magic from the depths of the lake, though he had managed to rid the water of most of it. The water went from a foggy grey to a comforting shade of deep blue. It was rather nice, actually.
The two of them finally got rid of all of her grandparents' things, redecorating the manor until it felt warm and dark and just like them. Tom ended up hiring a cook so poor Kreacher could tend to the cleaning and managing of the house without worrying about the meals. No one suggested Evelyn try to cook. Tom probably would have allowed her and would have forced himself to eat every last bite as if it were the best thing he'd ever eaten.
She felt herself gain back the weight lost from lack of eating. She found herself able to be alone without her mind turning to Locke and Key. On the fifth day, she even found herself able to focus on a book. It wasn't much but the little things were what made her feel like herself again.
Slowly, Evelyn found herself regaining every piece that she had lost. And Tom was there, as he always was, to help her put them back together again.
The nightmares still came to her often. On their sixth night at the manor, Evelyn had a particularly bad one about Locke. She tried to push him out of her mind during the day, reminding herself of Tom's words. Your worth is not defined by what happened in that dungeon. But it is easiest to tell yourself something like that when darkness hasn't overtaken every corner of the room, when the birds are so silent that she can hear nothing but her own thoughts.
When she awoke after the dream, Evelyn was sweaty and breathing heavily. It was just a dream. It was just a nightmare. It felt like Locke was really there, looking down at her with that evil look in her eyes.
Tom's arm tightened around her. She turned and buried her head into his chest, inhaling his scent deeply. "You're alright, Little Dove," Tom murmured in a sleepy yet calming voice. Despite the fact that she kept him up almost all night with her night terrors, Tom didn't seem to be any less patient around her. He woke up every time, staying awake until she was comforted enough to fall back asleep. "You're alright. He's gone. I'm here."
Evelyn nodded and relaxed her body. Soon, Tom's breathing evened out.
And perhaps then, in the midst of the night, as her lover embraced her tightly, Evelyn forgave herself. She forgave herself for every hard punch, for every unwanted thrust. She forgave herself for actions that weren't even hers.
And when she fell back asleep—without nightmares for the first time since she'd begun to heal— she didn't feel so empty.
A healing chapter :)) I know the last few chapters were kind of hard so I didn't want to brush through Evelyn's healing process. And while we weren't there for every little step, we could see a glimpse, at least, into how the trauma affected her, how Tom helped, and how she's begun to heal. Whichhhhh means we can have romance next chapter so yay! What are we feeling? Tom's POV? Ev's? Spicy? Sweet? Funny? Let me know!
Love you all xxx