Last time: Cien met with an old foe.

Now: Sasha is struggling.

Chapter 32- Ruin Everything

There was something peaceful about watching the sun set on Coruscant even through the tall buildings and high traffic. And after the day they all had, peace was a welcomed feeling to Sasha. According to Kyr, Kait, and their tour guide Trevor, Sasha, Viran, Oppie and Cien had all suddenly collapsed in the middle of the Room of a Thousand fountains giving the others quite a panic attack. And it was all because of that vision. The strange, yet disturbing vision that made the remainder of the tour quite awkward and even the ride back to their hotel too. No one really felt comfortable talking about what happened initially as it shook the Jedi and Sith to their cores. However, once they returned to the hotel, Viran and Oppie were willing to give the long story short of it all just to put Kait and Kyr's minds at ease. Sasha and Cien hadn't muttered a word about it. Or spoken with each other about any of it, obviously worrying the others.

Once the air was kind of cleared, they decided to order some room service for dinner and break out a game of sabacc just to distract them from the vision so they could all relax. While the rest of the family partook in the game, Sasha had quietly excused herself before the first hand was dealt and made her way outside to the balcony.

Leaning against the rail, daring not to look down as that severe of a drop would give anyone a fear of heights, Sasha watched the sun slowly set. But no matter how long she stared at it, the vision continued to bog her down. Seeing herself lying as a burnt husk on the ground of the Jedi Temple surrounded by a man that could have been her mentor and a Jedi she had always looked up to. Killed by Cien's hand.

Sighing, Sasha shook her head and ran her hands down her face, trying as best she could to rid of the vision now imprinted in her mind. And to shoo away the shadow-like presence that was still creeping in the back of her mind, especially since it hadn't left her alone since the Temple. It felt like a dark blanket wrapping itself around her that she couldn't shake away.

As she dropped her hands and looked back out at the view before her it seemed like the cityscape slowly blurred and changed into another location as she stared absently ahead. She found herself staring out at the forests of Vestora where they hid the Forerunner all those years ago. Sasha remembered this day as the day that her life had changed dramatically, but this time for the better. Even if it didn't start out that way. She could see Viran inside the ship, powering it up. Oppie hurrying for the ramp so they could make their escape. She didn't understand why she was thinking about all of that now or why she was daydreaming about it. But was she dreaming? Or was she actually seeing Vestora? She was too out of it to fully comprehend why she was seeing this. Sasha turned her head to the side and saw Cien suddenly appear there, her hand out before her as if to grab Sasha's face, and a venomous look in her eyes.

The door suddenly slid open tentatively behind her, bringing her out of her daydream with a gasp and back to Coruscant on the balcony. She could feel Cien's presence as Sasha regained her composure for a second. She suppressed the sudden chill that went down her spine that the presence seemed to cause as it almost seemed to want Sasha to be shaken by Cien's arrival. That, and the strange vision or daydream she just had didn't help shake the feeling either.

"Hi Sasha." Cien said, after a moment of hesitation.

Sasha hesitated too then glanced over her shoulder. "Hey. How's the game going?" She asked, calmly even though she didn't feel calm at the moment.

"I'm not sure, I did not feel like playing either." Cien responded, stepping out onto the balcony and sliding the door closed behind her.

"Ah," Sasha said, looking back out to the city. "You doing okay?" She added after a long silence.

Cien paused for a second before answering as she came over to lean on the balcony next to her sister, looking out at the city. "I'm okay, how are you doing?"

"I'm alright. Just thinking," Sasha answered, quietly.

Cien could guess all too well what she was thinking about, and she looked away. "I…" She started and stopped. "I don't know what to say about what we saw today." She said quietly. "I feel like I need to apologize for what happened."

Sasha looked at her with furrowed brows. "You don't need to apologize for what happened in there. You didn't force us to see that. You were witnessing that just like we were," she said looking away. "Besides, that wasn't you. That was just a vision of a completely different… you. And that wasn't me either. I mean it was a different me, but… you know what I mean." She struggled to explain.

"I do." Cien said, casting her glance downward at the traffic below them. "I'm still not sure why we were shown that vision." She said, "the only thing I can think of is that somehow it was to show that our fates were always bound together in some way."

"I guess that makes sense," Sasha said. "I hadn't really figured it out either, but I like that thought." She paused for a moment. "I just found it interesting that we saw this alternate reality. Like I saw the man that might have become my master. Viran saw his old friends. And Oppie saw Master Redika and what looked like a Padawan of his own. Even though it ended the way it did, I still find myself thinking back to the other moments of the vision." She said wistfully.

"Yeah." Cien said, trying to think of anything other than the horrible ending to that vision. "And Anna still being there, along with…" She stopped, thinking of whoever Kyr's wife had been in that version of 'reality'.

"You know, I almost didn't recognize Kyr in there. I'm so used to his copper armor that it was strange to see his old armor. But it would make sense that Anna would still be around if 66 never happened," Sasha said, smirking slightly. "Because that means the Empire never was around. But it was just a vision."

Cien cleared her throat. "I suppose." She looked out at the traffic and paused. "I am sorry, though, for everything that happened." She said contritely, still looking downward over the balcony.

"Cien, it's fine," Sasha said simply. "I told you, you don't need to apologize. That wasn't you or me in that vision. You're fine."

"No, Sasha, I," she paused, "I am sorry about what happened in the vision. But I mean everything." She said, "we've barely, if ever, talked about that, and I..." She paused again, looking away. "I'm sorry for who I used to be, and what I did."

Sasha was silent for a long time before responding. The image of Cien from Vestora she daydreamed moments ago flashed through her mind so suddenly that she quickly had to shake the image away. Did Cien know about the nightmares she was having, somehow, and how they were constantly showing her the past? Especially recently with what the darker Cien was doing in them? She doubted it, otherwise Cien would have come forward sooner about it. And she knew that Cien had no clue about the presence or that it was almost attracted to Cien like a bug to a lightbulb. She argued mentally with herself for a second on whether to bring the presence up now. Sasha had told Viran that she would wait until after the conference, but given recent events and the fact Cien just brought this up, it felt like this might be the moment to discuss it. "Can I admit something to you? Something that has been happening to me for the last few weeks that I should have talked with you sooner about?" She asked, carefully.

Cien looked at her, and then looked downward again. "Of course." She said quietly.

"I'm still not entirely sure why all of this has been happening to me, but I need to get this off my chest," Sasha started, quietly. She took a deep breath. "For the last few weeks, I… Where to start?" She struggled to find the words for a second. "I haven't been feeling like myself. I'm not quite sure why, I have a hunch but still not entirely sure. Anyway, something has been making me feel irritable and kind of moody. Don't worry, I'm not pregnant or anything. It's just that... " She groaned and rested her forehead on the rail, "I started to feel this way after," she didn't want to admit this, but she had to because that's when the presence had first reared its head as nothing more than a dark and unsettling feeling in the Force, "after watching you do all of these things to prepare for the twins and the conference. At first, I thought I was just… being paranoid but later Viran pointed out that I might be jealous, I guess? I don't know." She tried to explain.

"Jealous?" Cien asked, not understanding.

"Yeah, jealous. Or just being painfully reminded of what happened to me. One of those," Sasha sighed, annoyed with how frazzled she sounded. She straightened up and looked out to the city in slight annoyance and sadness. "And I guess it's because you've gotten to do all of these amazing, fun things I never got to do when I was pregnant with Lana. You get to travel and shop for your baby supplies. You get to decorate your children's nursery, not stand off to the side and watch as others do it for you because they won't let you lift a damn finger." She audibly groaned as she ran her hands down her face and turned away from Cien and the cityscape. "And even if you did, they would tell you that 'they've got it' and that 'you should go rest'." She said in an annoyed mocking tone. "Because 'your lives are still in danger because a Sith is after you'." She sounded like she was venting now. But strangely it felt good to say all of this out loud.

Cien stared at her, crestfallen. "Me?" She asked.

Sasha sighed as she dropped her hands and turned to face Cien. "No, I was referring to Ikari. We still thought you and Kyr were dead at the time," she said quietly.

Cien looked up at her, then away. "I…" She started, and then she looked at Sasha. "Because of me, though." She said quietly.

"Yeah, I guess because of you taking me and Lana away," Sasha said quietly. She then groaned and turned away again. Her emotions swelling with each sentence she continued to say. "Because of all of that, I was stuck for three whole months watching as everyone else prepared for Lana's arrival. If it wasn't for what happened, I… I would have had a normal pregnancy without any worries. But that's all in the past and it shouldn't bother me anymore. But it is. But if none of that happened then I wouldn't have you around and Kyr wouldn't be happy like he is now. I don't want to say I'm jealous, because I'm not sure I am. But…" She choked up as she rambled. However, she was straying away from what she really wanted to tell Cien. It probably wasn't a bad thing to get this off her chest while she was at it.

So Sasha continued. "But for years now, I have shelved everything you have done to me because I forgave you and welcomed you as my sister. And that is still the case. But recently, I have come to realize I have had a lot of trauma and a lot of it is connected to the old you. I don't know why I've been thinking about all of that recently, but it's been constantly on my mind. Especially at night… in my dreams," she cleared her throat just as Vestora flashed before her eyes again. She shook the image away again. "And seeing you get this beautiful pregnancy and chance to live a normal life… " She paused, turning to look at Cien, tears threatening to fall, "and seeing you in those Sith robes and in that vision and those dreams reminded me that I never truly got over what you did to me. And I don't know what to do." She finally admitted. "I want to ignore these feelings and just have things go back to normal, but this isn't healthy for me. So… yeah."

Cien looked away, her heart pounding and tears brimming her eyes as well. "I'm sorry Sasha." She didn't know what to do, how to handle this. "I didn't mean to…" She paused and swallowed, "I didn't realize the robes and everything would bring that all back. I should have. I don't know what to do to make things right between us and I never understood why you forgave me." She paused for a second and swallowed again, "but I understand if you didn't." She said, quietly, looking away, her shaking hand unconsciously going to her stomach as she looked away, at anywhere but Sasha.

Sasha looked away in anguish. "I did forgive you. I did, Cien. I forgave because you sacrificed your life for mine and Lana's. And you showed me you did have good in you," she said, trying to calm down. "You even took out Ikari to protect us. You nearly got sick trying to find me in the Force to save me and Op from Myrkr. I will always forgive you and I will always owe you more than just my life. But why I still feel the way I do after all of this time about what you did to me, I don't know if I even understand it yet. I'm still trying to figuring it out. The dreams, the feeling, the shadow, the twins, the robes." She rambled off. "I thought talking to you might help with that, but…" She gulped as a couple tears escaped, "but I don't know yet. I still need to think and figure all of this out." She swallowed. "But never think I didn't forgive you. Please. We wouldn't be here today if that wasn't the case."

"I understand." Cien replied, swallowing. "I completely understand." She said more quietly. "After what I did, and after what you did for me, I promised myself I would always be there for you." She spoke softly, "but I understand if when you look at me, you only see who I was and what I've done, because I could never do anything to atone for it. I'm sorry."

"Cien, you are my sister. All I see is my sister," Sasha said, wholeheartedly. "It was only recently when the flashes of the past and the dreams started. When those thoughts suddenly start flying around my head again as if someone was forcing me to relive them." She gestured to the area around them. The presence pulsed at that statement. "Then when you wore the robes I suddenly started seeing the old you. And…" She looked away and quietly added, "I can't recall when it started, but I promise you it wasn't before the twins or you getting married or any of that chaos with Caranas. Just recently. So please, stop apologizing. I just need to think and-" She paused for a second too long that allowed Cien to respond before she could continue.

"The robes were just a costume." Cien said, "I didn't mean anything by them, I don't really even consider myself a Sith anymore. I can get rid of them."

"No, please don't do that," Sasha said with a defeated sigh. "You got them for the conference. You should wear them for the conference. Don't let my stupid episode here tell you to get rid of them. This is still your week, Cien. I just need to stop acting like a damn child, figure out what is actually nagging me and go back to being me. But please do what makes you happy. I'll be fine."

"What would make me happy is to not hurt you anymore." Cien said quietly. "It was stupid of me to get the robes, to dredge that up."

Sasha leaned against the wall of the building and ran her hand through her hair that just hung loosely on her shoulders and down to the small of her back. "Cien, it's fine. You haven't hurt me in a long time. Please just ignore me with all of this. I shouldn't have even brought it up, but I needed to get it off my chest to you. I thought it would make me feel better, but I'm just more…" She audibly groaned, sounding almost frustrated. She glanced up and saw a weird mix of Cien now and Cien from the day they met on Vestora. What the hell is going on? She thought, frustrated. Sasha slammed her eyes shut and looked away as a dark veil fell around her at that moment as the presence seemed to be relishing this exchange between them. "Please wear the robes and have fun tomorrow. I don't care. " She said in a defeated, almost depressed sounding tone.

It felt like a physical blow when Sasha said she hadn't hurt her in a long time. And, especially, that she didn't care. "That's good." Cien said quietly, and distractedly, trying to keep her composure. "I…" She started, as she looked at the door. "Thank you for telling me what was bothering you. I don't…" She stopped, "I didn't feel like this was my week, I wanted to come here to enjoy this last trip together before everything changed again. I'm sorry that it just made things worse between us." She sniffed and walked to the door, gently sliding it open and stepping inside, closing the door behind her.

Sasha looked to the door then to the sky above, trying to blink away tears. As she looked up, she slid down to the floor of the balcony as tears fell anyway. She brought her knees to her chest and hid her head in her lap as she broke down into a wailing sob. Her hands gripping the back of her head tightly. She closed herself off in the Force, so the others wouldn't sense her distress and bother her. She completely messed everything up when trying to explain the presence and the nightmares. She had let her emotions drive the whole conversation. Her mind felt foggy and her heart hurt from what she had just gone through. This was a disaster. And it felt like the presence loved every second of it, but she didn't understand why.

Kyr wandered down the hall towards the bedroom, in his hand a steaming mug of tea. Not Cien's favorite drink, but the best drink she could have right now, since hot chocolate made her stomach upset with the twins. Thankfully her strange cravings seemed to have abated over the last month or two, and he was glad to be carrying a warm mug of relatively normal tea instead of something like a steaming cup of pickle juice. The sabacc game between him, Oppie, Kait and Viran had been over pretty pretty quick. The two Jedi seemed shaken still by whatever they had all seen in the temple, and no one had really been in the mood for a fun game. Cien had talked with Sasha a bit on the balcony a little earlier, and he had seen her come back in relatively quickly, walking softly to their room. He'd been facing away from her so he hadn't really seen how she was doing, hopefully whatever they had talked about they had been able to resolve.

"Cyar'ika," he said, knocking on the door before pushing it open, "I brought you some tea." The curtains were drawn and the only light was from around the corner in the bathroom from behind a mostly closed door, the room was quite dark. He waited a second for his eyes to adjust as he carefully walked in. And the first thing he heard was Cien sniffing as if she was crying.

He'd never heard that before. He'd never heard her cry before. That brought him up short for a second as he processed that.

"Cien, what happened?" He said, coming to her shadow that was sitting on the edge of the bed. The mattress was plush enough that her legs dangled off the side of the bed, and she had her feet crossed. It made her look like a little girl, as she sometimes looked to him in her more vulnerable moments.

"I..." She started, trying to talk, but hiccuping and not being able to speak.

"It's okay." Kyr said, setting the mug down on the nightstand and sitting on the bed next to her. The mattress was plush enough his feet dangled off the side next to hers. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "What happened?" He asked again, more softly. "Was it about what happened in the vision?" He asked. Oppie and Viran had given him and Kait what felt like a very brief explanation that they had seen some kind of alternate version of themselves at the temple if Order 66 hadn't happened, and the Jedi Order was still around. That was it. He didn't know what Cien had seen, or if she had been involved in the vision at all. And neither Sasha nor Cien had said anything since they woke up.

"I…" Cien started. "Sasha's hurt that I've gotten to have everything with my pregnancy that I took from her." She said, in between suppressed sobbing. "And the robes reminded her of who I was and what I did. And then in the vision today I was being dragged into the temple in binders, and I broke free and I…" She sniffed, "I…" She tried to say, "she killed Sasha, that other me." She finally said. She pushed herself closer to Kyr's side and hid her face behind her hands as she tried to keep from crying more.

"I'm sorry cyar'ika." He said quietly, pulling her as tight as he could and embracing her with his other arm. "That wasn't you, though." He said.

"Yes it was." She said. "Just like that other version of me that killed Op, and…" She started crying again as she broke down.

"It wasn't you." Kyr affirmed again, a little more forcefully. "Whoever that other Cien was, it was just a vision, it wasn't anything that happened. It's just Jetii magic trying to mess with you guys."

"But that is me." She said, "that is who I am. I met them trying to kill them, and I tortured Sasha, and -"

"That's not you." Kyr said, forcefully. "You're my wife, the mother of our children, Lana's aunt, you're their sister in every way. And you have been for years." He told her. "You put that darkness behind you, after you'd been forced into it. And you've been nothing but a sweetheart ever since."

"But I put those robes on and all Sasha could see was my old self." She said brokenly. "Behind everything that's happened, that's what she'll always see me as. The person that tortured her, that kidnapped her and Lana and stole those months from her." She paused, "and she has every right to see that." She finished as she was overwhelmed by sobs again.

"Cyar'ika." He said, rocking her back and forth a bit. "It's going to be okay." Kyr said, trying to push back a festering anger at Sasha for this. After the horrible life his wife had led, the least she could allow Cien was to be happy for her with the twins. He knew, at some point, they needed to have a proper talk about what had happened between them, but Sasha could definitely have picked a better time than right this minute to hash that out. "Sasha loves you, she thinks of you as a sister."

"But under it all she just sees me as that Sith acolyte that tortured her, and that empress that kidnapped her." Cien said with a sniff as she wiped her eyes. "I was always so scared that was the case and now I know it is."

"Cienestra." He said, pointedly using her real name to distance her from Cien, the acolyte and the Empress. "At some point the two of you had to talk about what happened. That she was reminded of it by the robes doesn't mean that's all she sees when she looks at you. The last few years you guys have been close enough to make me and Viran jealous sometimes," he said, trying to joke a little. "Sasha doesn't see you as just that. She also sees you as the sister that she has spent the last several years with. Her sledding partner. The sister who has afternoon cocoa with her. The one she makes a mess of in the kitchen making dessert with. The aunt she trusts to watch Lana when she and Viran need a babysitter." Kyr said, rocking her back and forth. "She wouldn't do all that with you if she only saw you as who you were twelve years ago. You have changed…" He started to say, before thinking of a better way to phrase it. "Your true self, the Cienestra that survived what she had to go through, that is who she sees, because that is who you are, and who you always have been." He said. "And she was the first one to see that, don't forget that." He finished quietly.

"Except you." Cien said quietly. Not crying anymore, but still upset and shaking.

"Yeah. You looked really cute walking out of that garrison." Kyr said, softly teasing her since he knew from the embarrassed way she always blushed from that story that she kind of liked it, even though she always acted annoyed by it.

"I don't know what to do." Cien continued softly after a moment. "I got the robes as a costume for this conference and I hurt Sasha by wearing them. By reminding her who I was. What I did. And I didn't even think of that. After I spent the last few months getting to enjoy my pregnancy with the twins in ways that I stole from Sasha with Lana, and she can't ever have back. And then the temple showed us… that." She said, sounding exhausted. "I wish we could go to the dining room." She finished.

"We'll be home in a few days and then we can claim the dining room as our own for a while." He said. "I think you guys just need to talk about what happened. Really talk about it. But not now, not on this trip. Wait till we get home, and everyone can be comfortable." He suggested. "And you have every right to be able to enjoy the twins." Kyr said, annoyed with Sasha. "What happened, happened. But don't let her make you feel guilty about enjoying Rose'ika and No'ika coming along. You went through too much in your life to have that be stolen from you by anyone." He said vehemently. "Why concern ourselves with what may have been, when all that matters is what may yet be?" He reminded her, in a quieter, softer tone.

She just hugged him tighter at that sentiment, but didn't say anything as she still shook in his arms. And he hugged her tighter as well. It was moments like this when he had to remind himself how far down that very long road she had come to get where she was now. The Cien he had met all those years ago and nearly bit his head off when he tried to treat her injuries, that he spent those months with on the Bloodstorm would never let herself be vulnerable like this. "Something to remember." He started quietly, "is that it took seeing you in full robes like that again to remind Sasha of what had happened between you guys. That's testament to the fact of how far you have come, and how she has regarded you, that she needed a reminder of that to even apparently remember that it had happened."

"I just keep seeing that other version of myself kill Sasha, over and over again." She said quietly, into his chest. "You…" She started and swallowed. "You, Kitsu, Illara, Anna and your…. wife, were the ones bringing me in. And you all saw Op at the temple in the vision and it distracted you and I… she… took that opportunity to run. She stabbed your wife and then tried to escape, and Sasha was just in her way. She killed Sasha with lightning, and then I was killed." She said, trembling.

"How?" Kyr asked, trying to envision it. And trying to picture anyone else as his wife.

"After she had killed your wife, you…" She said, and she couldn't finish her sentence.

Kyr was confused for a second and then deflated slightly. "I'm so sorry Cyar'ika." He said quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." She said, trembling.

"No more Jetii temples for you." He said quietly.

"I had another vision after, the others weren't a part of it." She said quietly. "A Jedi Master I... met in my time spoke with me."

"What about?" He asked quietly.

"He showed me another alternate history, where I was a Jedi Master teaching younglings at the temple in my time. And Dracul was attacking, and I was trying to defend them." She said quietly. "And told me that I had been on a long path, all of us had, but that we still had a longer road to follow."

Kyr furrowed his brow. He hoped their path forward was easier than the last many years had been. "It's the path that led to this. Us being able to sit here right now."

Cienestra was quiet for a moment. "It was." She finally said. "For how terrible everything has been for all of us, I wouldn't trade it for anything else if I couldn't be sitting here with you. And I think the others feel the same way about their lives. Sasha and Viran with Lana, Op with Kait. Maybe that is what the temple was showing us, was that if anything had been different, if any of those hardships hadn't happened, things wouldn't have turned out… right." She said. "And that for any hardships that are to come, there is a reason for all of it." She said quietly, with a shudder.

"Well." Kyr said, "I hope fate or the Force or whatever's in charge of such things give us a break from hardships for a bit. I just want to sit here with the four of us for a while and I don't want anything to interrupt that."

"Me neither." Cien said quietly.

"So…" Kyr said quietly. "This other wife of mine. Get a chance to see who she was?" Kyr asked, tentatively teasing her.

"No." Cien said, he could hear her eyes narrow.

"Well, I'm sure that her armor wasn't as pretty as yours." Kyr said. "She was in armor, right?" He asked.

"Yes." Cien said, "and it was very plain armor." She added.

"Hmph." Kyr said, indignantly. "Yeah, no I'm definitely happy for the path that led us here. I wouldn't want some girl with no taste in armor." Cien punched him slightly and he flinched with a smirk. "Ow."

"That Jedi Master." She continued after a moment, "he said that the lightside itself considered me one of its own. A knight."

"Well." Kyr said, "that's pretty cool."

"I guess so. I don't know what it means." Cien replied.

"It means that after everything that happened, the light you carried with you wasn't dimmed by the darkness you found yourself in. And that you'll never be alone, if there's all those ghosts and stuff up there." He said. "I mean, I'll never leave you alone, I made you that promise, but now you're even more not alone." He clarified. "You get what I mean."

"Yeah." She said with the slightest bit of a smile. "And, apparently, Anna is a troublemaker up there, and she wasn't going to leave him alone for not giving me a hug."

"No offense to my ori'vod but I for one am glad you're not being hugged by strange ghosts." Kyr said. "I know how much you hate being hugged anyway."

"I don't hate hugs." She said, tightening her own embrace of him as if to reinforce that point. "I just only like them from certain people." She said, snuggling a little closer, even though she was already very, very close.

"Oh." Kyr said, "am I one of those certain people?" He asked after a moment.

"Kyr." She said.

"I'll shut up."

"Please do." She said, hugging him tightly, and not wanting to move from that position for a long time.

Sasha wasn't sure how much time had passed since Cien left, but the tears hadn't stopped. She felt miserable as she tried to find even the strength to get up and go inside. She almost felt like getting into the lift, hailing a taxi and disappearing somewhere into the city for a while, just to clear her head. But she couldn't move from the vulnerable spot she sat in.

Sasha.

A voice called out. It sounded distant, but familiar. Sasha slowly raised her head and looked out to see she was sitting in the clearing on Vestora. Cien was standing close to the Forerunner as Sasha sat on the opposite edge of the clearing. Cien was gesturing her forward, beckoning Sasha to come join her side. She looked like her sister but in her acolyte robes, happily waiting for Sasha to board the ship. Sasha stared at her confused as to why she was seeing this, why she was there.

"Sasha? What's wrong?"

After Kyr disappeared to go check on Cien, Op and Kait decided to call it a night early leaving Viran on his own. He was about to head to the bedroom to check on Sasha and Lana when he suddenly realized that Sasha never came in from the balcony. That's also when he noticed that she was blocking him out in the Force. His brow furrowed with worry and headed for the balcony door. Carefully opening it, Viran started to poke his head out to see where Sasha was. But less than a second after opening the door, the sound of sobs immediately caught his attention. Viran looked out and around. He froze in worry when he saw Sasha curled up against the wall of the hotel, trembling and crying, but staring out at the city.

"Sasha? What's wrong?" Viran asked as he came out and slid the door shut.

She came out of her stupor and looked around then briefly at him before she hid her face back in her knees. "I… ruined everything," Sasha sobbed as she shook.

"What are you talking about? Does this have to do with the vision?" Viran asked as he came over to her and knelt down in front of her.

She shook her head. "No."

"Then what is it?"

"Cien," she hiccupped.

Viran felt his brows furrow more. "What did Cien do?" he asked, confused.

"Cien…" She sniffed as she straightened up. Now that he could properly see her he saw that her eyes were red, tears were staining her cheeks, and she looked miserable. She sniffed again. "She came out to talk about the vision and she kept apologizing for it. I told her she didn't have to. And then I told her what was going on with me. About the nightmares."

"And it didn't go well?" Viran guessed, feeling a pit in his stomach. Sasha shook her head as she wiped her face. "Okay, so what happened?"

"I told her how I was feeling and everything else that was happening. And… and…" She gulped as she felt her emotions swell as her breathing quickened. "And I'm pretty sure I made her feel worse and I ruined everything. Now I'm not even sure if she will talk to me again." She rambled. "Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I just be happy with everything? Why has everything recently been bothering me so much? Why did that presence have to ruin everything?" She dropped her head to her knees again as she tried to hold back her sobs.

"You mean that strange presence you were feeling?" He asked, clarifying.

"Yeah."

"Right. Did you tell Cien about that too?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I never got the chance. That's why I said I ruined everything. My stupid rambling caused me to overshoot the single most important thing and cause a rift between us."

"Oh, Sash…" Viran moved over and sat down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into him.

Sasha leaned heavily into him, pressing her face to his chest and gripping his shirt in a death grip as she started crying again. They held this position for a while as Viran thought about all of this. After a while, he felt Sasha relax against him and only sniff occasionally.

"I feel like this is all my fault," Viran admitted after a moment. "I pushed you to talk to her about it."

"Please, don't blame yourself," Sasha said in a hoarse whisper.

"But look what it's done to you. And I can only imagine how Cien is fairing with this," Viran said with a saddened sigh. "I'm sorry, hun. I'll see if I can talk to her and help clear the air."

"No, you don't have to do that," Sasha said, sniffing. "I need to be the one to talk to her and apologize. But I don't know if she will talk to me for the rest of the trip."

"But she should know about the presence. She could actually help with that." Sasha just shrugged when he suggested that. He frowned. "What are you going to do about the conference?" Viran suddenly asked as he wondered that, if the two of them were not talking to each other, what would happen tomorrow.

"I… I don't know," Sasha admitted. "I'm not sure she will even want me there now."

Viran deflated at that as he knew that wasn't true. "Sasha, she wants you there. You know that better than anyone." he paused. "But if you are not feeling well and if you think it's for the best to stay here or do something else instead, then…" He sighed, "then I'll talk to Kyr and stay here with you."

"No, Viran. You should go and be there for her. For me, please. I'll… I'll see how I feel in the morning," Sasha whispered quietly.

Viran frowned. "Okay. We can talk about it in the morning. For now, let's get you inside."

Sasha nodded, sniffing again.

Moving slowly and carefully, Viran moved to his feet, pulling Sasha to her feet with him. He then guided her inside and to their room. He was grateful that everyone else retired for the night as he moved slowly with Sasha. She clung to him the entire way back like a frightened child. Once there, Viran pushed Sasha to take a shower which she stayed in there for nearly an hour before finally coming to join him in bed dressed in a loose shirt and leggings. She then curled into him.

"Better?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Yeah," Sasha said quietly.

Viran sat there for a moment before smiling softly. "Do you remember when we were younger and we were staying on that one planet? I can't remember the name, but there was this horrible blizzard that struck the town and it knocked out power cells and generators?" He asked randomly.

"Sort of," Sasha said, glancing up at him.

"Well I remember it because it was like when we were fifteen or sixteen and Oppie had run off to help the town get the power back up, leaving us in our shared apartment. And I remembered the power going out and it freaking you out because it reminded you of 66," he frowned at mentioning that, but continued. "Anyway, I recall having to calm you down so I told you some really bad jokes that actually made you laugh as comms were down and we weren't able to get ahold of Op. And then the heat started to go out and we had to snuggle to keep warm." He chuckled. "You hated the idea so much as we were still iffy on the idea of showing affection towards each other in any fashion. But as it got colder we just had to bite the bantha and cuddle up in order to keep warm."

"Then Op found us hours later," Sasha finished the story. He could hear a smile in her voice. "He was so worried. He thought we got frostbite and were going to be sick. Of course you had a cold after that, but we were both okay. And it didn't get as cold as that server room Op and Kait were stuck in."

"True, but it was still really cold," Viran chuckled.

Sasha did too. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked.

"For trying to make me feel better. This is helping," Sasha said genuinely. "Just like it helped after Myrkr."

Viran smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad it is. And I'm glad it helped then too."

"Mm," was all she said.

Glancing down, he noticed she fell asleep a mere second later. Viran adjusted his arms around her and brushed his hands over her hair as he laid there staring up at the ceiling. He felt guilty that he had pushed Sasha to confront Cien about what was troubling her and it made him nearly ill that it didn't go well either. He made the decision to talk to Kyr in the morning and hopefully get this sorted in some way. Because even as she slept soundly next to him for now, he could feel her anxiety about this swirling in the Force like a hurricane. And going tomorrow would likely make that worse for her. So whether she decided to go or not, he made the choice that it would be best to give his Mando brother the heads up that they might be missing the conference. And Viran could just feel the pit forming in his stomach as he knew how much worse that might make things, but what other option was there?

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