I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.
Extended Family
Chapter 166 – Speaking Seven: The Never-Ending Hedwig
As per tradition, takes place all over the timeline with the first instance starting in chapter 144, right before Dahlia was born.
"I'm just worried I'll be…not great," Harry said in a whisper.
"Don't think I can't kick your arse while being pregnant," Katie threatened, making him laugh. "Harry James Potter, there is no way in hell that you won't be an amazing father."
"Katie! Think of the baby!" Harry gasped.
"She's not born yet so I can still swear," Katie said, making him laugh again. "Look, I can understand why you might think that. You really shouldn't because you're not an idiot like that. But seriously, you're going to be amazing. I can't think of anyone better than you to be doing this with. No other person at all."
"Yeah?" he asked, eyes glinting.
She kissed his cheeks, then his nose, then his lips before pressing her forehead against his. "Yeah," she said with sincere finality. "I love you."
"I love you more," he whispered.
"No you don't," Katie smiled. Her smile grew when the window rattled and opened, allowing Hedwig to swoop in. "Hello my loves," Hedwig hooted. The owl flew about the room, barking happily before landing daintily on Katie's lap. "Got all my errands and flying out of the way so now I can help with the Potterlet." The owl hooted at Katie and Harry before she fluffed up against Katie's stomach.
"I've accepted that you love Hedwig the most though," Katie said.
"Equally," Harry protested, laughing at the severe look Hedwig threw at him. "Now if you were talking about treacle tart-ow hey! Kidding! I was kidding you two!" He reached out for his mirror when it started shaking a little, trying to fend off Katie and Hedwig.
"Bad Chick! It's me, then Katie, then treacle tart!"
"Hi Hermione," he said warmly, seeing Hermione's image come into being.
"Oh good, you and Katie are decent," Hermione said brightly. Her image disappeared and the door to the house opened and Hermione walked in.
"No they aren't," Hedwig snorted.
"You still haven't forgotten about that time before seventh year?" Harry asked wryly while Katie laughed merrily.
"Nope, it was seared into my innocent brain, to haunt me in my nightmares," Hermione said as she started unpacking a bag. "Not about you Katie, but seeing my little brother like that was mind-branding."
"Thank you for sparing my delicate pregnant ego," Katie laughed.
"You don't have anything to worry about," Hermione said. "You look better than plenty of people I've seen that aren't pregnant."
"Aw thanks Hermione," Harry said, seeing what Hermione brought. "You didn't have to do that."
"But I wanted to and just warning you, Mum and Dad are coming this weekend and they're packing their car full of things to bring," Hermione said. She looked over at the door and walked over to open it.
"Drat, I thought we beat you over," Daphne said, seeing Hermione.
"Nope, not this time," Hermione said smugly.
"Hey guys!" Tracy pushed her way past Hermione and Daphne. "We brought things!"
"Thanks!" Katie smiled. "You two know you didn't have to, right?"
"Of course we did, and we wanted to," Daphne said, following Tracy. "You are our dearest friends and this is a stressful time for you. We want to help."
"Really? She's pregnant," Hermione said indignantly when Tracy pulled out a very large and expensive looking bottle.
"It's for after she has the baby!" Tracy said just as indignantly. "It's tradition!"
The Floo roared to life and Luna skipped out of the flames. She waved cheerily as she cleaned the soot and ash. "I want to touch up the nursery," Luna said brightly. "I found new paint that absorbs the light charm and can glow at night. It's very soothing. I also found more soft things to put everywhere."
"How did you know we were visiting?" Daphne asked.
"I didn't!" Luna said, walking down the hallway.
"Does she just come over whenever?" Tracy asked.
"Sometimes," Katie smiles. "She usually asks but I've also gotten used to seeing her in the mornings sleeping on the couch sometimes and haven't felt the need to question it. Lyla does that too."
"They make very good beds and roosts," Hedwig barked.
The door opened and Lyla walked in. "What, what's so funny?" she asked, narrowing her eyes while the others started laughing.
"We were just talking about you," Hermione smiled. "Something about you appearing in the night to sleep on the couch."
"Oh yeah, I do that," Lyla said without a trace of shame. "It's a really comfy couch. Mum's coming over after work by the way and Daddy is too. We're Katie-proofing things more."
"Don't you mean babyproofing?" Tracy asked.
"Eh, same thing really," Lyla shrugged.
"Come look at the paint!" Luna shouted from down the hall.
"Come on Lyla, you get to help me," Katie said, holding her arms out.
"Good Merlin woman!" Lyla groaned, pulling Katie up. "You can't blame all this on Dally!"
Hedwig flapped into the air and landed on Harry's head, wiggling comfortably. "Ah, still the best butt warmer."
"Oh you better remember this moment when you get pregnant," Katie growled, leaning on her little sister. "I'm going to really stick it to you."
"What else is new?!" Lyla retorted. They bickered as they walked down the hall towards the nursery, a familiar sound to the others that was also comforting.
"Thanks girls," Harry said gratefully.
"Of course," Daphne said simply. "As if you have not done more for us many times. And yes yes, it is not a competition nor is anyone keeping a tally. We want to do this to show our thanks and our appreciation for you."
"And that we're super excited to be with Dally," Tracy said eagerly.
"Our family is getting bigger!" Hermione smiled.
Harry's heart thumped. "I really like hearing you say that," he whispered.
"Are you okay?" Hermione asked, her good humor replaced by concern.
"I was…I'm just worried," Harry confessed. "If I'll be a decent father and all. And I've been so wrapped up in things and I just now thought how I've neglected you all lately, especially with all you're doing." He blinked at three identically flat looks and snorts.
"Harry, friend of my soul, do not be an idiot," Daphne said severely.
"You're still our best friend and if anything, Dally's impending birth has only made you even more motherly," Tracy said. "Yes, motherly. Not fatherly, motherly."
"Even if you were 'neglecting' us," Hermione made exaggerated air quotes with her fingers, "it would be understandable. But you haven't been. You came the other day to help me figure out that new runic array for my library."
"And you helped us with the transfiguration thing for our room," Tracy said.
"We still meet every few days, we just do it here for your and Katie's comfort instead of elsewhere," Daphne said.
Hermione hugged him. "You are nothing like them," she said fiercely. "Not even a bit. Don't even entertain that thought."
Something cold inside of him started to warm. "Thank you," he whispered.
Tracy snorted and she lifted Hedwig off his head and turned her to face him. "See? Even Hedwig thinks you're being an idiot."
Harry grinned at the flattest and most exasperated look on Hedwig's face. "Sorry, guess I am being silly," he said, wincing when she pecked him on the forehead forcefully but smiled when she nuzzled him, sitting down firmly when Tracy put her back on his head.
"You are too full of love to ever worry about that," Hedwig said proudly. "You really are thick though. Good thing you have me around."
"You guys should really see this!" Katie shouted from the nursery. "The paint is amazing!"
They all walked in and admired the new paint and how the walls glowed gently in the dark. As they watched a Snitch fly around the walls, Harry felt Luna wrap her arms around his middle and squeeze hard. When he looked at her, she smiled up at him. "You felt like you needed a hug and I felt like hugging you."
He said nothing but gratefully hugged her back.
-0-
"Why do we even have owls here?" he sniffed, glaring at the rows of owls that sat on roosts or in nests.
"Why do we-" McGonagall sighed deeply. "Owls are the traditional form of sending packages and letters and we have owls that serve the school and the owls that belong to the students. It is called owl post after all. We cannot expect owls not to have a place to rest and eat. They are living beings and deserve as much for the work they do."
"It would save costs and be better if they weren't here," the wizard sniffed unpleasantly. "Filthy creatures. Unnecessary." He gasped loudly. "And that one! That one isn't even native to Britain!"
The one he called 'that one' felt his look, not to mention hearing his words, and turned her head. "I beg your pardon, you better not be talking about me," Hedwig hissed. She looked down at the man and narrowed her eyes, making him grow angry.
"It dares look at me like that?!" he said loudly.
"It?! Excuse me?!" Hedwig gasped.
"You are rather insulting," McGonagall said acidly. "Owls do understand us."
"Bah, brainless beasts," the man snorted. "I will be bringing this up to the Wizengamot and the Minister. We need to make some genuine changes and this will be very important." He curled his lip at the owl. "And you will be gone, useless ugly thing." He stomped away and McGonagall walked behind him so that the man did not see her expression or the way her fingers twitched, as if they wished to wrap around something.
Hedwig's eye twitched and she puffed out, swelling from sheer anger. The owls closest to her inched away from her while others fled from her. All the owls knew her by now and they knew she would not react well to the direct insult. Hedwig screeched loudly, her voice echoing all around the roof of the castle and the grounds, making the other owls quail and quiver.
"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK WAS THAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?! OH NO. OH NO NO NO! I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH FLAGRANT DISRESPECT FROM A SNIVELLING LITTLE WORM LIKE THAT! NOT ON MY LIFE! OVER MY ARSE FEATHERS!
Hedwig flapped her wings and stomped a foot, barking loudly and angrily. "Hey! We don't need to take that abuse! We are owls! We are important and proud! We DESERVE to be treated with due respect and it seems they've forgotten all we do for them. Well no more! We need to teach them to insult us at their own risk and their own detriment! Let's band together and do what we need to to ensure our safety and comfort!" The other owls stopped to listen to her and one by one, they nodded along, hooting in agreement. Hedwig flapped to the edge of the roof and brooded there, watching the man leave the castle far below. Her expression was remarkably like one of the gargoyles, only much harder and a lot more dangerous.
"Oh you just wait," she seethed, staring at the far away man walking. "I am going to make you regret coming this day and saying that to us, and to me especially. You just wait, little man. I'll show you brainless beast. I'm going to make sure you regret even knowing what an owl is. Just you wait. I'm going to ruin you."
-0-
McGonagall looked at them sternly, eyes roaming. Her eyes finally fell on one particular owl who was sitting on her roost and looking completely unimpressed at her. "Dear Merlin," she sighed, recognizing her. "Is something the matter?" she asked as pleasantly as she could.
Hedwig nodded, bristling slightly. Her feathers were a little mantled and she looked coolly back at McGonagall. "What the fuck do you think?"
"Is this about what happened yesterday?" McGonagall asked and groaned when Hedwig nodded emphatically.
"Yes, yes it is," Hedwig barked sharply.
"What happened yesterday?" Flitwick asked.
"The new inspector from the Ministry came," McGonagall sighed. "He was very rude and said some impolite things about the owls, wanting to do away with them."
"Do away with them?!" Hagrid shouted. "Our owls?! I'll do away with him!"
"He was also very rude to Hedwig in particular," McGonagall continued. "Citing her non-native origins."
"Oh no, this won't end easily or well," Flitwick said.
McGonagall turned back to Hedwig. "I can appreciate that you are upset with him, but that does not mean that students cannot receive their mail."
"You can appreciate my arse!" Hedwig barked loudly and stomped her foot. She fluttered to the ground and in the general debris on the stone floor, sketched something with her talon. "They did receive their mail, thank you very much. We left it out in the foyer very neatly. Don't you go accusing us of not doing our duty."
"Yes, we did see them outside the great hall," McGonagall said, seeing the sketch. "But surely that takes more effort than to bring them to the students?" She sighed at Hedwig's head shake and flat look. "I can do things with even less effort." She looked around. "Mortimer, as leader of the Hogwarts parliament, you will not renege on your duty, yes?"
A very large and stately Barn owl blinked at her and turned to look at Hedwig before he looked back at McGonagall and hooted, flapping his wings. "Yeah, no, we did not renege on our duty. And you must think me insane if you expect me to not agree with Hedwig. That little man insulted all of us, she got the brunt of it, unjustly I might add. What's to stop us being next?" He emphatically looked at the sketch Hedwig made and folded his wings and closed his eyes.
"Is…is this really happening right now?" Sprout gasped.
Hedwig barked and every owl turned their backs on the professors and the four of them gaped at the motion made in unison. Hedwig sniffed and fluttered to her roost and did the same.
"Okay, this is unsettling," Sprout said.
"Let us go," McGonagall said, irritated and impressed in equal measure. "This cannot last for long."
-0-
"I'm sorry, what's going on?" Harry asked, deeply confused.
"We need you to talk to Hedwig," McGonagall said slowly, realizing how inane she was about to sound.
"I talk to her every day unless she's flying to and from France," Harry said, still perplexed. "What's this about?" He looked at Hedwig who was standing on the desk in McGonagall's office. "Hedwig, what's wrong?"
"We believe Hedwig has…unionized the owls here at Hogwarts," McGonagall said at last.
"You expect me to believe that Hedwig has managed to convince all the owls here, school and personal ones, to form a union?" Harry asked, looking at McGonagall with a crooked eyebrow.
"You do not believe she can?"
"No, I know she absolutely could. The thing is, that sounds like a lot of work and Hedwig doesn't do things that are a lot of work unless it's for a good reason. Or if she wants to because she thinks it'll be funny."
McGonagall ignored Flitwick and Sprout's snickering. "There…probably is a good reason for it."
"Okay," Harry said slowly.
"The other day, there was an inspector from the Ministry and he might have said some unkind things about owls in general as well as saying some rather unkind things about a specific owl," McGonagall said with a wince.
"Wait, this person said something unkind about Hedwig?!" Harry looked at his owl in shock who in turn shocked everyone in the office by suddenly wailing out loud. Hedwig began to cry, holding her wings over her eyes, body wracked by grief.
"Chiiiiiiiick! The short ugly fat man said rude things to me! He said I don't belong here and said we were filthy and useless! I'm the best damn owl for my Chick and I have killed over less! But he was so rude and now that old bird is trying to make me suffer the insult for no reason! I won't have it! I refuse!"
"Hedwig!" Harry picked her up and hugged her to him. "Who's this bloke that was rude to you?! How dare he!"
"I have never seen her do that before," Flitwick gasped.
McGonagall stared with wide eyes that narrowed when Hedwig's head popped over Harry's shoulder and the owl glared back at McGonagall before she continued to sob, burying her face into Harry's chest. "Oh come now, you are carrying on a bit!"
"Professor! You're telling my owl she can't cry when someone else was rude to her?!" Harry gasped, looking incensed.
"Yeah! I have feelings too!"
"What?! NO! I mean-" she glared at Flitwick and Sprout who were stifling their laughter, turning red in the face.
"I don't think it's funny either!" Harry said loudly, making the two professors sober up swiftly.
"Harry, please," McGonagall said in a placating tone. "Please try to convince Hedwig to stop this…delivery strike and we will do our best to make sure amends are made."
"You're not trying to convince me to go against my Hedwig, are you?" Harry sniffed and Hedwig hissed at McGonagall.
"You better think twice if you think we'd fight on something important. Unlike everyone else in the stone nest, I am not afraid of you, you old bird!"
"No, not at all," McGonagall soothed. "We just want things to go back to normal as soon as possible and for that to happen, compromises must be had."
"Let's go over here," Harry said, carrying Hedwig away to the far side of the office.
McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose very hard as Harry and Hedwig sat in the corner together.
"I bet you never thought you would have to do something like this," Sprout said wryly.
"No, never in my wildest dreams," McGonagall sighed.
"She is a wonderful actress," Flitwick mused, looking at Hedwig.
"Problem is, she is not acting about her anger," McGonagall said.
"Can you blame the poor dear?" Sprout asked.
"No, and that's the worst part," McGonagall muttered.
Eventually Harry returned, still holding Hedwig in his arms. "We have terms," he said and Hedwig cheeped. "Reluctantly."
"Do we now," McGonagall said flatly. She sighed at Hedwig's glare. "Okay then. Please."
"The owls want the charms for better cleaning and for warming the roosts and nests," Harry said.
"Easily done," McGonagall immediately agreed.
"They also want a side space indoors to hold packages if they come over night so they aren't just keeping them in the Owlery," Harry said.
"That makes a lot of sense and will be easily done," McGonagall said. "Not sure why we never thought that before."
"Finally, but most importantly, the owls want a written apology from this arsehole bloke-"
"Harry Potter!" McGonagall exclaimed while Flitwick and Sprout laughed.
Harry continued, unbothered, "-and assurances, in writing, from the Ministry of Magic that they won't interfere with post owl business at Hogwarts and a second written apology to Hedwig in particular."
"That…might have to wait until the Headmaster returns tomorrow." McGonagall held her hands up at Hedwig's hiss and glare that was mirrored by Harry's look of displeasure. "I am merely the Deputy Headmistress! As we all know, Professor Dumbledore's word and name carries far more weight and consequence. I am sure he will be more than happy to try and obtain the necessary letters and assurances. But simply put, Harry, not everyone thinks so highly of owls like you do."
"No deal then," Harry said and Hedwig turned around and mooned McGonagall, making her huff and Sprout and Flitwick choke.
"Behold the picture of my discontent!" Hedwig hooted, waggling her rear at McGonagall.
"Please, as a show of good faith, resume the post duties," McGonagall said. "And do not flaunt your rear at me so openly, young lady."
Harry and Hedwig shared a look.
"Fine. They will resume their post duties," Harry said at last when Hedwig nodded reluctantly. He gave her another look that made her perk up and Hedwig nodded more enthusiastically.
"Oh! Yes I can definitely do that. Such a good and smart Chick. Yes yes, that will do perfectly. I love you so much."
"Thank you," McGonagall said with relief. She paused when Harry opened the window and Hedwig flapped out after giving him a nuzzle. "Wait. Harry."
"Yes?"
"Why did you put an emphasis on the words 'post duties'?" she asked worriedly.
"Did I do that?" Harry asked, tilting his head.
"No, oh no, do not do that to me," McGonagall said sharply. "I had suffered seven long years of that sort of tone and expression from Those-Two-That-Shall-Remain-Nameless and I cannot tolerate that from you!"
Harry grinned before schooling his features into a mask of pleasant placidity. "I only reminded Hedwig that she has post duties she can perform to the best of her ability." With a nod to them, he left.
"That sounds pretty good," Sprout said slowly.
"Sounds yes, but it is not what it sounds exactly like," McGonagall sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead. "Albus cannot return soon enough."
"Doesn't he return tomorrow?" Flitwick asked.
"Not. Soon. Enough."
-0-0-0-
"I like being a knight, so I'm sticking with my human paladin," Harry said, smiling at Luna's obvious pleasure.
"I'm still not calling you Sir Harry," Ron laughed.
"That's fine, Captain still does," Harry laughed. "My character is named Hadrius. And he's a paladin of a deity made by Luna for her setting: Hedwigina the Owl Goddess."
"Ah, and your character is wearing an owl helmet," Daphne observed, looking at Harry's miniature. She smiled at the real Harry. "In a case of art imitates life?"
"I don't know what you mean," Harry said with faux confusion while Hedwig sat plumped on his head and cheeped smugly.
"I like this setting. Obviously Moon-Song knows my importance and has given me a role that suits me," Hedwig cheeped. "I should be worshiped. I am regal. I am vengeful. I am divine. All should bow and worship me for being the epitome of Owl Wisdom and Grace."
-0-
"I don't like the sound of that," Harry frowned. He looked up. "I don't think I should help them, right?"
Hedwig shook her head empathically. She flapped her wings and hissed at the miniatures representing the guards. "No! I deem them unworthy and they should be smited by my champion! That's you. Go get them my Champion! In my name!"
"As my Goddess commands," Harry grinned. He looked at Hermione. "I think we should help the people being assaulted."
"I have your back," Hermione said with a smile.
-0-
Harry shifted, yawning. He smiled as he felt Hedwig pulling up the blanket they were using as they napped. He felt her tug on the blanket before snuggling back into his arms, moving and wiggling comfortably. "I still can't believe McGonaMum thought we'd not work together," he said sleepily.
Hedwig hooted, nibbling on his fingers lovingly and also sounded very surprised at McGonagall's surprising lapse in common sense before she fell back asleep, plump and content.
-0-0-0-
DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles - Hide and seek is always fun.
odonnellzoo99 - Fanfic is wish fulfillment and I'd love to live there with them.
poka - Right? I wanted to let her shine this time and make up for her poor performance the last time.
Ghostwriter - Thank you.
TheSphynx - They're so darn cute and smart.
alix33 - You can roll it and store it beneath something.