The drive was silent and they were back at the house by the time the sun was set the next night. Nell wouldn't be back for a time and it left the house empty and cold as they stepped inside. Vash didn't hesitate as he made his way to the couch and dropped his bag onto the floor before crouching down to pull out the bed. Liana started to say something to him, but the words died on her tongue as she watched him set up the bed and flop down onto it like he'd been on the road for weeks. When he turned his head to peer up at her she realized she was hovering and she forced herself to cross the room and head up the stairs. All she needed was a long shower and a peaceful nights rest in her own bed. Nell would be home soon and there would be other jobs to keep them occupied. She just needed to keep moving forward and everything would make sense in the end.
When she woke it was still the middle of the night, the room chilly even though the weather outside was as warm as it always was. After her shower she had gone straight to bed, but now her stomach was grumbling and she knew that it wasn't going to allow her to get back to sleep until she put something in it. At the very least some crackers. Tying her robe tightly around her waist she stepped out into the hallway with a shiver. It really was cooler than she remembered it ever being and she regretted not putting sleeping pants on instead of the robe. But she was already at the top of the stairs and the sooner she got a snack the sooner she would be back under her warm blankets.
Vash was sleeping soundly on the pull out bed and didn't even stir as she padded past and into the kitchen. When she opened the fridge she hissed at the bright light it cast across the kitchen and quickly closed it, thinking it might wake Vash up. She opted instead for squinting through the cabinets before she found a small box of blueberry muffins that were individually wrapped. It took her several minutes to wrestle it as quietly out of the wrapper as she could and stood there leaning against the counter eating it quietly. She hadn't realized it at first but she was hungrier than she thought. Standing there in the darkness of the kitchen she ate two whole muffins before she decided that was good enough and it was time to head back up to bed to try to get back to sleep. She turned to throw away the wrappers from her muffins, tucking them gently into the trashcan to make as little noise as possible.
"Are you okay, Lia?" Vash's voice caused her to jump, spinning around to find him standing at the end of the counter. He looked half asleep still, groggy and his hair more of a mess than usual, but worried none the less. She reached up to rest her hands over her heart, tapping lightly to try and get her heart to calm down as it pounded in her chest. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"N-No it's okay, I just-" she breathed, dropping her hands slowly. "I was hungry I guess so I couldn't sleep. Did I wake you?"
"No. I mean, kinda," he admitted, stepping around the end of the counter so that he could lean against it. "I heard the stairs is all."
She hadn't noticed at first that he had changed from his normal dark attire, wearing a pair of grey sleep pants and his baggy t-shirt. It had probably been when she had gone up to shower now that she thought about it. He looked so normal standing there in the darkness with her and she wasn't sure that it was something that she could ever let go of if he ever decided to leave. Where would he even go? He didn't seem like he had any kind of permanent home like she did to return to when he wasn't working, so would he just go back on the run? He couldn't have been happy living like that, but what choice did he have in the end?
"I really was trying to be quiet, I am sorry, Vash," she breathed, stepping away from the counter where she stood to walk past him. She needed to get back to bed before the sun was up and she couldn't fall asleep in the daylight as easily.
"You don't have to apologize for walking around your own home," he muttered, a warm hand reaching out to touch her lightly on the shoulder as she tried to pass him and she found herself halting. "Really, are you okay? You've been quiet since the whole ghost thing. If-If me being here is a problem-"
"No, no Vash that's not a problem. I really am fine," she shushed him, offering him a small smile to try and ease his worry. "I was tired and hungry and I went to bed on an empty stomach. That's all."
They stood there for a long time just staring at one another and she hoped that he would let it go, but he didn't seem to buy it. How was she supposed to tell him that she was afraid of him taking off and never seeing him again. Not because she thought he belonged there or anything, but because she was afraid if he left he would somehow get hurt again. It was a silly notion considering all that she'd seen him do earlier that day. Her watching him wasn't going to stop him from getting hurt, but it put her at ease. All of that said out loud sounded possessive and she had no right to do that.
"Do you want me to make you something?" he asked seriously, hiking his thumb toward the fridge and she couldn't stop the snort that escaped her remembering how he'd managed to burn pancakes the one time he'd tried to cook. "Oh, okay, do you want me to burn something for you?"
"No, even though that is very thoughtful," she chuckled, reaching up to brush her fingers through her hair nervously. "I had a muffin, I'm fine."
"Muffin. Right." She watched him push off of the counter and shuffle over to the refrigerator, prying it open to allow the bright light to outline him in the dark kitchen. He was even taller than her damn refrigerator, how was that normal? "I mean, there are eggs? You made eggs my first day here I could do that. Just, not that high of a heat this time?"
"Oh yeah, for sure," she chuckled, giving up on fighting him over the idea of food considering that maybe he was just hungry too. She crossed the kitchen to sit down at the dining table. "Scrambled eggs, little salt, little pepper."
"Eggs, salt, pepper," he repeated, pulling out the egg carton and shutting the door quietly.
Liana sat and watched him with a small smile on her face as he flicked on the little light under the kitchen cabinets to give him enough room to work. He pulled out a mixing bowl and cracked a few eggs into it with his right hand like he'd done it a million times before then and it was just another normal day. It was relaxing and a little heartwarming to watch him actually cook and not burn the eggs, mixing them gently in the pan before tipping them out onto a couple plates he'd pulled down while the pan was heating. He'd even made a couple slices of toast that he sat alongside the eggs and after turning off the stove he grabbed the plates and brought them over to the table. He returned to the counter to grab them forks and was back seated across from her.
"Eggs, salt, pepper," he said cheerfully, spearing a bite of the eggs on his fork and she did the same.
They both took a bite, chewing slowly before they both broke out into laughter. The eggs were horribly over salted and it was clear he knew it too, but they both kept eating until they were gone, saved only by the toast that was thankfully not burnt to help clear the pallet. Once the food was gone Vash stood up and cleared the plates away to be washed later and grabbed two glasses to make them some water.
"Thank you, really," she snorted as he joined her at the table again. "That was possibly the best dinner ever."
"I have to earn my keep somehow. What better way than being a gourmet cook?"
"You'll never have to earn anything here Vash. You're always welcome for as long as you want to stay." She reached over the table to pat him on the left hand lightly because he was holding his water with the other hand, offering him a warm smile before she stood up to put her now empty glass in the sink beside their plates. "Get some sleep, we can work on you over seasoning things tomorrow."
"What if I want to stay forever?"
She'd barely gotten past the corner of the counter into the living room when he spoke, the words cutting through her like he'd somehow read her mind. Her desire for him to stay there where he would be safe. It was such a deep want that she had pushed out of her mind out of guilt for trying to keep him all to herself. Or at least to her and Nell, like a little family she'd never had growing up.
"I mean it, Vash. As long as you want," she said softly, unable to turn and look at him.
"Do you…want me to stay?" he asked, his voice closer than the dining room table. He must have stood up and moved toward her but she couldn't turn to face him to be sure. If she turned around now she felt like she would let something slip through that she shouldn't. Let him see something she didn't even know she was hiding from herself. "Liana?"
"I don't want you to leave if you don't want to," she admitted, feeling her heart hammering in her chest again like she was afraid for her life. The moment of silence that stretched on between them seemed to last for an eternity. The longer that passed the more she began to feel like she had indeed said something she shouldn't have. He'd see her as someone clingy and possessive and that really wasn't her. Not entirely. Wanting him safe didn't mean she wanted to own him, right?
"Then I stay," he said plainly, air moving past her as he rounded where she stood and marched back over to his bed. He sat down in the edge of it facing her and smiled. It was such an innocent thing that she wondered if he realized the weight those words held for her. How they caused her breath to catch in her chest and her mouth to go dry.
Every muscle in her body was screaming at her to move, to march up the stairs and climb back into her bed because that was what was expected of her. It was the safe thing to do, the only way she wouldn't be subjected to any kind of rejection. That was a worse fear than him leaving, him pushing her away. And she needed to go to bed before she gave him that chance to reject her. But her feet remained planted, rooted firmly to the floor like she would never move from that spot ever again.
"Do you want to stay here, Vash?" she asked quietly, her voice trembling. Her whole body was trembling.
He nodded slowly, reaching his right hand out toward her like he wanted her to shake on it. All she could do was stare at his open palm in uncertainty, not sure what it was they were actually shaking on. Was it some sort of agreement between them that would remain unspoken? Something that would never truly be spoken out loud but they would both know it was there and that they had shaken on it? Liana forced herself to step forward, extending her hand to grab his and shook firmly before she tried to let go. Tried to, really she did. Vash wasn't holding onto her tightly or anything, his grip loose but there, but she couldn't let go. He didn't seem all that bothered by the fact that she was just holding his hand, sitting there calmly staring at her like he was waiting for her to do something else. She tugged at his hand gently, more trying to get herself to let go rather than pull him up, but he rose from the bed to stand in front of her none the less. Liana tried to move a step back to put more space between them but Vash stepped with her, tilting his head like he was confused as to why he'd moved too, or maybe because she'd tried to step back in the first place.
"V-Vash," she whispered, wiggling her hand until she was finally able to let go of him.
He tilted his head again in the opposite direction and took another shuffle of a step closer to her. The only way she could stop him from moving closer was to reach out and press her hands against his chest, but even that was a weak gesture. The air was still cold in the house and there was warmth radiating off of him that was more comforting than it should have been. Why was it so damn cold? It was never this cold in the house and the chill clinging to her skin had her leaning into the warmth Vash offered, pressing herself closer to him despite knowing she shouldn't have. He remained standing there as she leaned into him, laying her head on her hands where they rested on his chest.
The feel of his heart beating and the sound of his steady breaths was comforting, his warmth chasing away the chill clinging to her skin. She could feel herself shaking slightly and at first she thought it was because of the cold but when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her flush against him she realized it was more out of nervousness. He just held her gently, resting his chin on the top of her head as the shaking slowly died down. She thought that he might let her go once she stopped shivering, but he kept his arms looped around her. When she tried to look up to get a look at his face to try and figure out what he was even thinking he was staring down at her intently and there was no stopping herself. She had to push herself up onto her tiptoes to reach him, brushing her lips tentatively against his and Vash didn't pull back from her like she thought he would. He just leaned into her, kissing her back.
There wasn't much thought into the actions as she gripped the front of his shirt tightly, pushing against him so that he stepped back toward his bed with her following along without breaking their kiss. She didn't stop backing him up until he apparently hit the edge of the bed and tumbled back so that he was sitting down and she was left standing there over him still gripping his shirt. He just sat there staring up at her, his hands propping on the bed on either side of him. Since he didn't seem very interested in stopping her she moved her hands slowly up to his shoulders, tracing her fingers lightly over the scars and ridges she could feel under his shirt. He sat there watching her face as she studied him, shifting so that she was straddling his legs before easing to where her knees were pressed into the mattress on either side of his lap. The trembling had returned to her limbs but she knew for sure that it wasn't from the cold this time as his hands lifted from the bed, resting gently on her sides like he was trying to brace her there.
Liana leaned down to kiss him again more roughly than she had before and he actually hummed into the contact, grasping her sides a little harder, pulling her closer against him. She'd forgotten that she was wearing her robe with only her underwear and a thin tank top underneath so there was little between them without him wearing his usual clothing. The warmth of him was blazing now and she found herself arching into him to try and get closer. Vash gasped against her lips, balling his fingers up into her robe so that it tugged the tie loose and the top fell open as she moved against him. She pushed gently against his shoulders, forcing herself not to chase after him as he fell back on the bed with a soft huff.
He just laid there under her as she reached down to untie the belt on her robe, shrugging it off onto the floor and tried not to shudder as his gaze traveled over her. He rested his hands on her hips and he contact of skin and metal caused her to arch into the touch, Vash dropping his head back onto the bed with a groan. The sound of it was satisfying in a way she couldn't really place, a small smile spreading over her lips as she repeated the motion and Vash gasped loudly under her. He didn't seem all that concerned in stopping her as she smoothed her hands down his chest, snagging the hem of his t-shirt and tugged it up. She thought he would try to stop her, but he just moved with her, sitting up just far enough for her to pull the shirt up and off of his body once he let go of her hips. Once the fabric was gone he seemed to realize that he was more exposed, glancing down at his body and the scars littering his skin as her hands rested gently on his chest again.
"Lia," he breathed, his voice shaking slightly.
"It's alright," she shushed him, leaning over him to plant a soft kiss on his chest right over one of the newer scars she had seen when the nurses bandaged him in Augusta.
His hands shot up off the bed again, gripping her sides lightly with trembling fingers before he slowly inched them up, pushing her tank top up along with his hands. When she realized what he wanted she sat back up slowly, pressing against him deliberately enough to earn another groan from him as she held her arms up above her head and allowed him to push the shirt up and pull it off of her. She wasn't sure where he tossed it to and honestly really didn't care as his fingers trailed back down her skin slowly, hovering along her ribs like he wasn't sure he was actually allowed to be touching her like this. If reassurance was what he needed she didn't mind giving it to him, reaching down to grab both his hands and guiding them slowly to her chest.
The gasp that escaped her as he cupped her breasts was involuntary, her body pushing into his touch a little too eagerly and he actually smirked up at her. At the very least they were on the same page and she rocked her hips against him just to see his eyes flutter closed as his grip trembled against her skin. Even with all his strength and his metal arm he was so gentle and it was heartwarming and a little exciting. She sat up on her knees slowly, earning a grumble from him at the separation of their bodies, but he didn't start to complain until she backed slowly off of the bed. He sat up to try and follow her when he realized she was moving away, but she just held up a finger and wagged it at him, causing him to stop half sitting up on the bed.
His eyes followed her hands intently as she reached to hook her thumbs into her underwear, shimmying them down her body in deliberately slow motions that had him gawking at her every little wiggle. Once she stepped out of them and back toward the bed she could see he was breathing heavily, his eyes darker than she remembered them being as she eased back onto the bed straddling him again. She kept herself from putting any weight on him as she kneeled there over him, reaching down to grab the waistband of his gray pants to push them down as well. Once he understood what she wanted he lifted his hips slightly, helping to push the pants down as far as she could before she reached up to push him back down onto the bed again gently.
She just hovered there above him, spending what felt like an eternity looking over his body, noting that the scarring didn't stop at his torso. Trailing her fingers slowly down his body and brushing lightly over his hip bones he shivered under her touch and it was her turn to smirk at him mischievously. He was panting steadily as his gaze followed her hands, watching her seriously as she reached a hand between them and gripped his length gently. He hissed under his breath at the touch, his hands twisting into the sheets beneath him. Her slow and careful strokes weren't really necessary as he was already more than hard under her touch, but she was more or less giving him time to object. When the only reaction she received was a twitch of his hips as she moved her hand slowly over him she shifted herself up a little farther on the bed, guiding him against her with her hand as she slowly lowered all of her weight onto him with a sharp gasp.
Vash's hands shot up off the bed as she lowered onto him, gripping her hips more tightly than he'd held her before and she tossed her head back as she seated herself on him. Her entire body was trembling again, muscles tensing as she adjusted to the feel of him. When she couldn't bear to sit still any longer she pushed herself up slowly, hearing him suck in a sharp breath as he held her there for a moment before allowing her to settle back down again. A small curse escaped his lips and she smiled down at him softly, resting her hands lightly on his chest as she sat back up on her knees again and slowly sank back down. She was setting a slow pace that made her entire body quiver, watching as Vash just stared up at her with wide eyes as he tried to breathe in time to her motions.
At some point he must have been unable to tolerate her slow, deliberate movements, hooking his arms gently around her waist as he sat up to be eye level with her and crashed his lips against hers. Without warning he shifted, rolling them so easily to where Liana was laid out on the bed beneath him now, her hands clawing at his shoulders as he pushed into her. She couldn't stop the cry of his name that escaped her, barely able to cling to him as he moved with far less restraint than she had. And yet each push into her was still gentle, tender in a way that made it clear that he was conscious enough to take into account what she was feeling. He kept his arms braced on the bed on either side of her to keep from crushing her, gasping as her legs hooked around his waist in an attempt to pull him in closer.
They were a mess of tangled limbs and sweaty kisses, her hands tangling in his hair with sharp gasps and moans that he returned, dotting small kisses along her neck and collar bone. She could make out small whispers of her name as he kissed along her skin, her hands trailing down his back lightly as he thrust into her with a low groan and just lingered there. For a moment she thought he may have finished and decided that if this was all she was going to get from him she could count herself lucky, but after a few moments passed his dipped his head down lower, closing his mouth over her breast gently. She cried out softly and arched up into his mouth, feeling his right hand skimming down her stomach slowly as it dipped between them.
"V-Vash!"
Her voice came out in a ragged pant as his fingers slid against her, brushing ever so gently in such a way that it had her legs trembling where she was still wrapped around him. Her hands dropped from his hair, clinging to his shoulders like she was holding for dear life as she clenched herself around him as she came, feeling him moving slowly in her again as she rode out the waves of pleasure with each thrust. When he thrust into her a final time he gasped her name, his body shaking as he found his own release.
For a long while they remained there, panting against one another until Liana let her legs drop from around his waist slowly, groaning softly as he removed himself from her and collapsed onto the bed beside her. She found herself laying there for a long while just panting up at the ceiling before he shifted beside her, his hand resting gently on her stomach as if he were trying to get her attention without breaking the silence. Liana rolled slowly onto her side to face him, finding him doing much the same and scooted closer to tuck herself in against his chest with a happy sigh. The last thing she could remember before the blessed darkness of sleep was a warm blanket being tugged over them and the cold chill she'd felt earlier faded away into nothing but content warmth.
When Liana opened her eyes with a soft flutter the first thing she noticed was the bright sunshine coming in through the windows. Her body felt heavy but relaxed and it wasn't until she rolled onto her back with a happy sigh that she noticed something was off. She was staring up at her bedroom ceiling, laying in the middle of her own bed upstairs. For a moment she thought that maybe she had gotten up afterward and gone to take a shower and just decided to return to her own bed after their encounter. The only reason she thought she might not have gone back to lay with Vash was that she was afraid of waking him back up, but that didn't feel right either. There was no chance that she would have purposely separated from him without going back after everything that happened. It was a high probability that what happened would never happen again and she wouldn't have wanted to lose a moment of it if she could help it.
But there she was sitting up in her own bed, still wearing her tank top and underwear she had been in the night before when she first laid down. Frowning darkly she pushed herself up out of bed, crossing the room to her dresser to grab some clothing so that she could go downstairs and investigate exactly what was going on. The house was silent as she moved through it, Nell's bedroom door still wide open and her room empty, signaling that she was still off in the city working. When she reached the bottom of the steps she saw Vash sprawled out over the pull out bed, half covered in his blankets and…completely clothed in his gray pants and t-shirt. Had he pushed her from his bed afterward? Maybe the intimacy was too much or maybe he just didn't want anything past that. It was fair enough, there was no expectations of him to continue or even want their relationship to continue past last night, but it did sting a little. They were both adults and she could let it be just a one time encounter without pressuring him for anything more, but maybe he thought that she wouldn't let it go.
Part of her wanted to crawl onto the bed and shake him awake, to demand that they go over what each of them wanted and work out some kind of plan of how to move forward without things being an awkward mess, but that felt a little aggressive. Maybe that was exactly why she'd woken up in her bed after all. She could realize that space was something that he may have needed and she was going to respect that as much as she could. So she turned on her heel and headed in the kitchen to make something for breakfast. As she opened the fridge and began to pull out the bacon and eggs to cook she paused, glancing down at the trash can she had stuffed her muffin wrappers into the night before after her little snack that were missing. Her blueberry muffins.
The realization hit her like a train, her body going numb as she fumbled the food onto the counter and jerked the upper cabinets open where she'd gotten her snack from the night before. Now there were no muffins in sight and clearly no evidence of them ever being there. Because she was allergic to blueberries. Nell had done the grocery shopping the last time and she was well aware of Liana's allergy and even though it wasn't a serious one, there would have been no way that she would have bought anything with blueberries in it. There would have been no way for her to eat those muffins without having suffered a reaction which meant…she had been dreaming. The entire thing, the muffins, the over salted eggs, the sex…had been a dream.
Liana's stomach twisted violently, her body shaking as she abandoned the breakfast foods on the counter as she stalked across the room and collapsed into one of the dining chairs. How could she have been so stupid? So naive? She and Vash barely knew each other and there was no way that what she thought had happened would have naturally. Everything about the dream had seemed so normal and casual until things turned physical and she should have seen through it. And she'd almost crawled onto his bed with him to wake him up! What on earth would he have thought having no idea what was going on. He probably would have thought she was insane and if he hadn't been planning to leave before he surely would have been after something like that.
Time seemed to fade away as she sat there trying to scrub the entire thing from her mind, wishing she couldn't clearly remember every touch and movement. It had all been perfect and wonderful and entirely fake. Something her brain created out of some small interaction with him that thought she wanted more of. She'd never even thought of him that way before that morning and now it was the only thing on her mind. It was enough to make her feel sick to her stomach, like she had somehow forced him into that interaction even if he had no idea it had ever happened. And he never would. Nothing on the entire planet could make her admit to him that she'd had such an inappropriate dream, not even the threat of death.
"G'morning," Vash yawned, pulling her out of her thoughts. Her eyes jumped to him as he was standing up from the bed, stretching his impossibly tall self out after the long nights sleep and she could feel her cheeks warming at the sight of him. "You sleep okay?"
All she could manage was a jerky nod, forcing herself to drop her eyes to the floorboards as he padded across the room and into the kitchen. She could hear him scrambling around muttering something about breakfast, but she couldn't look at him. If they made direct eye contact, would he be able to see the shame she felt? The embarrassment? Of all the times for Nell to be away, it would be now when she really needed to talk to her. Liana needed advice on how to handle the situation so that she didn't make a complete fool out of herself. But it was just the two of them alone and when Vash sat something on the table she couldn't stop herself from looking up to see what it was. A plate of eggs and toast for the pair of them, glasses of water set aside just like in her dream.
Without a word she leapt up from the table and bolted across the room to the stairs, ignoring the sound of Vash's confused call as she hurtled toward her bedroom and locked herself inside. He'd made eggs and toast, just like in her dream. Were they grossly over salted as well? There wasn't a chance in hell she was going to stick around to find out, not even when she heard Vash calling her name from the end of the hall like he was concerned for her. She couldn't face him yet, not with everything still so fresh in her mind. She could even swear she could feel lingering traces of where he'd touched her skin and it wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Thankfully when she didn't answer him he seemed to take the hint and didn't pursue her, the house falling silent once again. Liana just stalked over to her bed and crawled back under her blankets, curling up into a ball and trying to empty everything from her mind.
Liana laid there in her bed silently for hours, watching the sun rise and start to fall on her wall. She had no motivation to get up and go about her day knowing that she was going to have to face Vash if she left her room. After she'd locked herself in he hadn't come after her and she was thankful that he kept his distance. Not because he was the problem but because she was too ashamed to face him. She felt horrible and like some kind of predator. He'd never been anything but friendly and civil with her and Nell and there she was turning innocent interactions into something that would likely never happen.
"Liana?" Vash called, a light knock sounding on her door that caused her to lurch up in the bed staring at the door to make sure she had actually locked it. She didn't think he would come in without being called in, but she needed to be sure he couldn't just in case. "Are-Are you okay? Did I…do something wrong?"
The defeated tone in his voice was heartbreaking and she couldn't stop herself from getting up out of the bed to cross the room. Unlocking the door she opened it a crack, glancing up to see Vash standing back from it a few feet looking like she had kicked him in the face. He had no idea what was going on or why she was being so cagey and it wasn't fair to him. Nothing he'd done was wrong or warranted this behavior and she needed to find some way to put his mind at ease while still giving herself space to settle her own mind. Once Nell came home and she had someone to talk to she could feel better about herself, but for now Vash needed some kind of reassurance.
"Vash…," she muttered, keeping herself tucked behind the door to put as much between them as she could. "You haven't done anything I just-my stomach doesn't feel right and it's all in knots so I-I just want to sleep if that's okay?"
The sad look on his face flickered a bit into hope, his demeanor perking up a bit at the mention of her not feeling well being the reason she was acting so strange. A stomach ache would give her leave to be alone while he wouldn't feel that he had anything to do with it. While it certainly wasn't the best cover she could come up with, it would buy her time and that was all she needed.
"O-Oh! I'm sorry," he stammered, taking another step back from her door like he didn't want to overcrowd her anymore than he had to. "I understand, I just thought because you were so quiet last night and this morning…." He held his hands up to signal her to just stay where she was, slowly backing himself farther and farther away toward the stairs. "I'll just go back downstairs and you, you let me know if you need anything, okay?"
"Just, tell Nell to come see me when she gets back…."
Without waiting for him to respond she closed the door, not even bothering to lock it as she went back to sit on her bed and just sulk. He was so sweet and worried that it only made her feel worse. Dreams were not something that she really had control over, but it didn't make her feel any less guilty about having them. For all she knew, Vash wasn't even really into females or anyone for that matter. There was no telling what way he leaned and it wasn't right to ask him either. They were all very personal boundaries that she had absolutely no right crossing. One way or another she was going to have to push it from her mind and just try to move forward like nothing had ever happened. She just needed time to get herself together.
After a long night of pacing around her room and a few quick trips to the bathroom, Liana spent her morning sweeping up nothing in particular from the corners of her room, listening to see if Vash was moving around at all downstairs. At some point she had taken a break, laying back down on her bed with one of Nell's old books in an attempt to pass time. But she wasn't much for reading and at some point must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, someone was knocking on her door softly and when it cracked open she looked up to see Nell peeking her head in.
"Lia? Vash said you're sick," she muttered, stepping into the room and closing the door as Liana sat up out of the bed to look at her friend in relief. "Did you catch something on the job, or-?" Liana stood up from the bed without a word, crossing the room and throwing her arms around Nell tightly, a small sob escaping her and she could feel Nell go rigid under her. After a moment of standing there like that, Nell wrapped her own arms around Liana's back and squeezed her tightly as she cried into her shoulder. "Lia…what happened? Did he hurt you?"
Her voice had come out in a low whisper, so delicate no one but her could have heard it if they tried and Liana finally released her enough to lean back and shake her head no feverishly. Vash had done nothing wrong. It was all her and her stupid brain. A subconscious that was apparently interested in only one thing and she detested it.
"N-No, no he didn't," Lia muttered, pulling Nell back toward the bed with her so that they could both sit down. "It was a dream I had. I had a dream about-it was awful-"
There was an unmistakable look of relief on Nell's face when Liana insisted that Vash had done nothing wrong, then confusion forming at the mention of her dream. She was aware that nothing she said was making sense and forced herself to take several deep breaths to calm down before she tried to speak again. Nell was the only person in the world she could trust with the information and she needed to make sure that she understood her properly. Even if Liana didn't exactly understand it herself.
"We took another small job after Jenora. Everything went great, no one was really hurt, no one died. And we came home," she reported, taking slow deep breaths between statements. Nell just sat there holding her hands patiently, waiting for the full explanation to come out. "We came home and we both went to bed. Then I had this dream where I-I had this dream and it wasn't fair to him and now I can't even look at him without feeling like a monster."
"What…was the dream about?" Nell asked slowly, tilting her head. "Did you hurt him? Or turn him in or something?"
"No, Nell, nothing like that," she groaned, pulling her hands away to cover her face for a moment. Even telling Nell made her feel like a dirty person. "I had a dream. About him."
She dropped her hands into her lap so that Nell could see how red her cheeks had turned and after a long moment of Nell just staring at her blankly the realization settled in and her face shifted from confusion to…shocked delight. Of all the responses she expected Nell to have, that was the very last one. It was almost as if she was excited for her!
"Oh my god," Nell snorted, reaching up to cover her mouth after the sound escaped her. "You had a dream…about Vash? With Vash?"
"Yes! And when I woke up the next morning I thought it was real and I almost-I basically assaulted him in my sleep!"
Nell just laughed. It was a full, deeply happy sound that left Liana absolutely dumbfounded. She needed someone other than herself to be disgusted by what had happened, but Nell just seemed overly pleased for her. Like it was some kind of accomplishment that she'd had an entirely inappropriate dream about a man she had no right dreaming about in the first place. Liana just sat there staring at her laughing friend purely mortified and after a long moment Nell was able to reel in her reaction, clearing her throat and sitting more straight to at least try to act serious.
"Lia, sweetie, it was a dream. There's nothing you could do to stop it," Nell assured her, repeating the words that Liana had tried to make stick in her own head for the entire day prior. "And it wasn't real, it was just something that happens sometimes. It's probably because it's been…a while? And Vash is the only man you've been in close proximity with so you brain just used him. It's not like it means anything."
"But how can I even look at him after that! If he ever found out-"
"He could never find out unless you told him. Or I told him. Which wouldn't happen unless you wanted to."
"No, I never want him to know."
"Then he wont."
Nell made it sound so easy to just push it out of her mind and go on like nothing had ever happened in the first place. She knew that was what she was going to have to do, but it seemed impossible. There didn't seem to be a way that she could occupy the same space as him anymore without being a mess, but she also didn't want him to go away either. Liana just sighed heavily, flopping back onto her bed in defeat. Nell sat with her for a long time, staring at her friend sympathetically until Liana couldn't take it anymore.
"I know it's stupid, that it was just a dream," she grumbled, tossing her hands up dramatically. "I'll be fine by the morning and just pretend nothing happened."
"That's probably for the best. Throw yourself into your work. It might help," Nell offered, patting her on the leg before she stood from the bed and headed for the door. Liana just laid there staring at her ceiling with a scowl on her face. She swore if this ever happened again she was going to need to find a way to scrub her brain clean. "Lia?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you one question?"
Something told her that she probably should have ignored the request, but she sat up on her elbows to look over at Nell and nodded her head slowly. There had never been anything hidden between them the entire time they'd known each other so there was no sense in starting now. Nell was the only family she had and Liana was eternally thankful for her. Nell shuffled nervously in place, wringing her hands together like she was about to regret whatever it was she was about to ask.
"Was it…at least good?"
Liana's eyes widened in horror at the question, reaching blindly for a pillow and launched it across the room at her friend. Nell let out a shrill giggle as she dodge the pillow and took off out of the room before Liana could throw anything else at her.
It took several days for Liana to be able to stay in the same room with Vash alone for longer than a few minutes. There was no chance that he didn't notice how weird she was being around him, but she tried as often as she could to reassure him that his presence was not the issue. She kept blaming it on her stomach and the fact that she was just tired whenever she needed space from him. It worked well enough when she was able to greet him merrily in the mornings and tell him goodnight the same way she did for Nell. Eventually she didn't even think about the dream anymore and they were well on their way to searching for their next job to occupy their time.
Once Nell had left home again to visit the city things stayed relatively easy to navigate, Liana and Vash doing random chores around the house as they kept an ear out for any potential jobs on the radio. Her contacts had all gone silent and their only real connection to what was going on played on the normal broadcasts between static filled songs on the weathered radio Liana had sitting on the railing of her front porch. There was a relatively nice breeze out and she was taking the opportunity to hang laundry out to dry while it was nice, Vash buzzing around the house mopping the floors even though she had assured him they really didn't need it. He needed to be useful so she let him be and just threw herself into the laundry like it was the most important thing she'd do all week.
"Today in a small town outside of Augusta———several civilians in the line of fire———" Liana paused her pinning of clothes onto the line as the staticky broadcast came on over the radio, reaching down to turn the volume up to better hear whatever they were about to announce. they'd just left that area weeks ago and everything had been fine, but now it sounded like some sort of incident had occurred that resulted in lives lost. "Fugitive Vash the Stampede has———leaving dozens dead in his wake———"
Inside she could hear the mop clattering to the floor, turning to see Vash standing in the front doorway with a broken look on his face. She considered reaching down to turn the radio off, but he just stepped out onto the porch with her and turned the volume up even louder. She could see his fingers trembling as he twisted the knob, staring intently at the old radio like it would somehow tell him how to fix the tragedy.
"Vash," she breathed, halting when he just frowned deeply at the radio as the broadcast continued to list off the horrible acts that had been committed.
There was no way the he had done any of that damage near Augusta, having been with her nearly every waking moment since they'd left. It wasn't like he could just pop up over there and murder hundreds of people and instantly return to mopping the floors. She didn't understand how people could not tell the difference between him and his twin, but then again she'd never seen the man herself. Would she be able to tell the difference between them if she ever did? Even if they shared the exact same face, people had to be able to see the differences in them. Without a word Vash turned on his heel to move back into the house and resumed mopping the floors like he hadn't just received the horrid news of his brother's atrocities. For the remainder of the night he stayed silent, cleaning his gun on the kitchen table almost neurotically. There would be nothing she could say to ease the pain he was no doubt going through so she kept silent but near just in case he needed to talk. Even with all the heavy tension in the air he still told her goodnight when it was time to turn in and she found herself standing at the bottom of the stairs watching him as he laid himself down to sleep facing away from her like he couldn't let her see his face any longer. Ashamed. She knew that feeling all too well.
"In the morning, we should head out there," she offered, seeing him go rigid on the bed like he hadn't realized she was still hovering there. "See if there's anything we can do to help. How does that sound?"
When he didn't reply she figured he was just going to pretend he'd fallen asleep and didn't hear her, Liana sighed softly as she turned to head up the stairs in defeat. He was clearly upset over the whole ordeal and she had no idea what to do to help him through it. There was nothing that could be said that would bring back those who had lost their lives and Vash would carry each of those deaths on his shoulders for as long as he lived no doubt. Part of her wished she could track down his brother and put a bullet in his head just to spare Vash having to suffer for his actions any longer, but she didn't think that his brother's death was something Vash wanted either. He'd always seemed to prioritize life over everything else, like with the robbers in Jenora. Even the bad people he tried to save….
"I'd like that," he said suddenly, halting her as she was halfway up the stairs to her room. "If it's alright with you."
"Of course it is," she assured him, looking back down the steps to see him staring up at her hopefully from the bed. "We'll leave at first light."