(AN: this chapter has a crossover memory with another story of mine, Lupins Law. This chapter contains a memory that Remus also relives later on in his life. Hope you are enjoying the story.)

'I suppose this first week went as well as it could have. Granted, it only lasted two full days, but still.

My house mates seem nice, and I hope we can be friends. It's an interesting prospect. But, a scary one too. I guess it's just kinda unexpected, being friendless often seemed so normal for so long. I suppose that's one of the many downsides of my condition.

My parents were thrilled to hear I was sorted into Gryffindor though, I'm just glad they are not upset like Sirius' mother is. She seems really hacked off about it' - Sep 4 1971

Remus scribbled the date next to his entry, and closed up his journal. He was sitting up against his headboard, his curtains drawn around his bed.

It was still early and no one else was up yet. Remus had started using this time to write in his journal each morning. That morning, Remus ached though. The full moon was coming up soon. It was happen tomorrow night.

Remus was determined to make it to all his classes today though. He was grateful that the first full moon was on a Sunday, but also annoyed he'd likely miss classes the next morning.

He was relieved when he had found a letter from the Headmaster on his bed the previous night.

He was to meet Dumbledore that morning at 7am in his office.

Remus checked his watch it was almost time to go.

Eventually, Remus slowly got up and dressed as quietly as possible, he was hoping to get out and back before the others woke up.

He crept down the spiral staircase and quietly out the portrait hole.

Remus took careful consideration while navigating the halls, he had been given directions on how to get to the Headmaster's office but kept taking wrong turns and getting lost.

Eventually, at 710 he finally found the office with the griffin knocker on the door.

Dumbledore was smiling at him when he entered the office.

"Good morning, Remus." The Headmaster greeted him.

"Sorry I'm a few minutes late, Professor. I couldn't find the office." Remus exclaimed.

"Oh, all is fine. No worries, I have more than enough to still accommodate our meeting." Dumbledore beamed at him, indicating he could sit

Remus back ached horribly when he sat in the hard chair across from the Headmaster.

"How did your first week go, Remus?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Ah, it's gone well, Sir. classes have been great." he explained

"Oh, well that's wonderful. And you're enjoying Gryffindor house alright?" He asked.,

"Oh, yes. Yes." He agreed.

"Wonderful to hear it." Dumbledore nodded fondly.

"Well, I know you must have questions about what will happen tomorrow." Dumbledore mused, more seriously.

Remus nodded.

"Our nurse, Madam Pomfrey is very very capable. She'll meet you outside the hospital doors tomorrow night around 545 and then take you to the house we've secured for your transformation." Dumbledore explained, kindly.

"If you'd like, I can meet you in the entrance hall and bring you to the hospital wing?"

Remus nodded. "I would appreciate that. I've been struggling to navigate, a bit more than others." He admitted, turning a little red around the ears.

Dumbledore smiled kindly.

"W-what about the other students? Won't they notice me walking with her through the halls and the grounds?" Remus asked, suddenly recognizing flaws in the plan.

"Ah. We've considered this. And we've come up with a plan. Do you recall during the welcome feast I mentioned our new tree, the Whomping Willow?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, we've created a passage way of sorts, connecting the house in Hogsmeade with the grounds to the castle. It's under the tree. This way you and Madame Promfrey only need walk together for a short way. After this first time, you'll meet Madame Promfrey outside near the entrance doors.

She'll walk you from there after this month.

Once you get to the tree, she'll immobilize it for you and you'll be able to access the tunnel beneath. From there you'll go on your own to the house. it's a straight shot. That's where she'll collect you the next morning as well. We hope that since your walk together is quite short this will reduce others noticing." Dumbledore explained to him.

Remus nodded, that seemed acceptable.

"And, she'll never come in the passageway or the house right?" Remus asked, he couldn't help himself.

Dumbledore immediately shook his head.

"No. She understands that could be unsafe. Madame Promfrey has been given very specific instructions. the only scenario where that would occur would be if you didn't return by 6am to the Willow. Is that enough time?"

"In the fall and winter that should be fine, I may need a little longer in the spring as the days are longer, I transform later those months." Remus explained.

Dumbledore nodded and wrote down these instructions.

"Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate this." Remus told him.

"And I appreciate you entertaining this meeting, I'm sure you're not feeling your best this morning." Dumbledore gently mused.

"No, no Sir. Not particularly well this morning." Remus admitted.

It was true he'd been feeling really sick since Friday morning, and had been achy most of the week.

"Remus, if you ever need to please feel free to see Madame Promfrey, she can at least allow you to rest in the hospital wing if you need it. I don't want you to suffer needlessly." Dumbledore explained.

Remus nodded. This was kind of him.

"I know being a werewolf means having many challenges especially as a young person. We'll help in anyway we can. Any accommodation you'll need."

"Sir? I have class tomorrow night. It's our first night time Astronomy lesson. What should I tell the professor?" Remus asked.

"Professor Mcgongall and myself agreed we would tell the teachers you had a sick family member you need to visit. Since you are only sick once a month, we hope this will be sufficient. You can let Professor Sinistra know you won't be there and I'm sure she'll give you any make up work." Dumbledore told him.

Remus nodded. "Okay, Sir." Getting distracted by a spinning object overhead.

Dumbledore chuckled.

"You're very smart Remus. You know I've suspected since I met you, that you and I may actually share a common affliction." Dumbledore explained.

Remus was intrigued by this statement.

"Have you ever heard of the term Low Latent Inhibition?"

Remus shook his head.

"It's a term mostly used in the muggle world, but often affects Wizards as well." Dumbledore told him, his eye twinkling.

He continued when Remus stayed quiet.

"This is an affliction that usually causes people to be easily distracted by all the stimulus they are taking in from the environment around them. People with this issue often times are exceedingly intelligent, some may say genius, even. But, we are often prone to daydreaming about the hows and whys of the universe, and we are also known to struggle in new and especially large environments where there's too much information to retain immediately. We try to take it all in at once and can't process it all.

I don't know if you're aware. But, this issue is actually fairly common in werewolves. Your heightened senses and intuitive awareness can cause the mind to wander easily, making it far more likely to get lost or turned around. When we over analyze our environment we actually miss more than we think at times." Dumbledore explained.

Remus was surprised. It felt good to have something in common with such a powerful and intelligent wizard.

"You seem like you know a lot about werewolves, Sir?" Remus asked. He wondered if this was for his benefit.

Dumbledore smiled.

"Well, if you ever did want to know more about others like yourself the library has a huge section on lycanthropy specifically. I quite enjoy it." Dumbledore explained.

This time Remus smiled. For the first time in his life he felt like he truly belonged.

He nodded.

"So, we will see each other tomorrow then?" The headmaster smiled.

"Yes, Sir." Remus replied kindly.

Remus was able to sneak back into the dormitory just before 8 that morning.

Soon, the rest of the boys were up as well, and ready to go to breakfast.

"Sleep alright, guys?" James asked as he was grabbing his weekend clothes out of his dresser.

At Hogwarts students were allowed to dress how they liked on weekends..

Remus was particularly pleased with this, as his jumper and soft jeans were far more comfortable than his robes and cloak they usually wore during the school week.

"I slept great." Peter explained.

Sirius nodded, moving his hand back and forth. "Ah, it was alright, can't complain I guess."

Remus could have complained. He'd been sleeping horribly since he'd gotten there. He was pretty sure he just wasn't used to his new environment, but hoped his quality of sleep would improve soon. His sleep was already bad, but now it was almost non existent.

"Oh, i slept alright." Remus lied.

Soon, together they all started to make their way to the great hall for breakfast.

A few of the first year girls were sitting around the fire together as they passed.

Remus knew them from a few of their classes, but hadn't really spoken to any of them yet.

The great all wasn't too far from the Gryffindor common room. Remus tried to remember where all the landmarks were as they walked.

It was glad the others also seemed like they needed to do this too.

"There's the statue of the one eyed witch." Peter pointed out.

"See, we know where to go. We've got this. It's easier to navigate than we think." Sirius shrugged.

Two floors down the large spiral staircase they reached the main floor.

Remus almost tripped on the last step, pain randomly shooting through his back and leg.

Unfortunately. James noticed.

"Are you okay, Remus?" He asked, looking too worried.

"Oh I'm fine. I'm always just worried the staircases will move when I'm on them." Remus tried to pass off the moment of pain as panic and hoped it worked. They couldn't know about him.

James chuckled along with the others and Remus relaxed.

"Woah, hold up. Hold up. Stop." Sirius whispered, as they started walking towards the entrance hall.

As he did this, two older girls ascended from the staircase right in front of them.

They were Sirius' cousins. Bellatrix and Narcissa.

Remus and the others hadn't had any interactions with his cousins other than when Bellatrix had accosted him on the train a few days before.

Sirius signaled for them all to stay quiet. He'd had no interaction with anyone from his family since the first morning of classes, when his mother had sent him a howler.

they all held their breath hoping the girls wouldn't notice them.

But, Bellatrix saw them right before they were out of her sight.

Sirius swore under his breath.

A nasty smile curved her lip just slightly.

"Come on, we've got to just walk past her." Sirius said quickly.

"Oh, look who it is" she called, walking towards them.

"Bella. We were just going to breakfast." He told her stiffly. Not interested in chatting.

Remus was unnerved by this girl, her sister hung back standing in the entrance doorway waiting for the older, darker haired girl.

"Tut tut. I see your mother's warning has had little impact on you. You should know better than to hang around with scum like this." She looked nastily at Remus and the others.

"Ha." Raged building in Sirius. Her indignation made him more determined to be best friends with the boys standing next to him.

"Why not try minding your own business for once, Bellatrix." Sirius quipped, boldly.

He clearly was in deadly waters, as an even nastier look emerged on the older girls face.

"You're gonna go the same way as Andy. Disgusting. In our own family." She shot a look towards her younger much blonder sister.

"C'mon. Let's get out of here." James tried to pull Sirius along but Bellatrix put out her foot, stopping them.

"Hey!" Sirius growled at her.

"Excuse me!" A loud voice behind them startled them.

It was Professor McGonagall, and she was looking extremely stern.

"Ms. Black!?" She questioned.

"Is there some kind of issue here?" McGonagall looked at them like she was seeing through them.

"We were just trying to get to breakfast Professor. Sirius here is the one trying to cause problems." Bellatrix quipped, without blinking.

Remus wasn't sure what came over him in that moment but he spoke up.

"That's not true, Professor. Sirius didn't do a thing." He looked at McGonagall.

She looked around at the scene quickly before speaking.

"You boys best be off to breakfast, before it's all stone cold." McGonagall instructed,

Quickly, they ran past Bellatrix and Narcissa.

Remus could hear Professor McGonagall scolding Bellatrix.

"I don't understand why I just caught you, a 7th year, picking on 1st years. I don't want to catch it happening again. If you can't be nice to your Cousin, do us all a favor and ignore him." McGonagall sneered.

"You wouldn't understand family business, Professor. Sirius is harder than he looks. He was just fine, he can stick up for himself." She replied nastily.

McGonagall looked offended.

"That's precisely my concern."

"Might I remind you yet again, You do not make the rules here, Ms Black."

"I don't see anyone here who makes or enforces any rules, none that are worth following." Bellatrix said, extremely rudely.

"I think a good 30 points from Slytherin will do just fine, after the comment." McGonagall added sternly..

After that, Remus could no longer hear them as the noise of the great hall consumed his ears.

Once they had taken their seats and began to fill their plates, they saw a sulky looking Bellatrix slipping into the great hall with Narcissa in tow.

"Thank you guys, for trying to defend me. She probably just got off with a warning." Sirius grumbled.

"No, I heard McGonagall took 30 points from her." Remus explained, eating a bite of biscuit.

He realized immediately that he shouldn't have said that..

"What? How'd you hear that?" Sirius questioned, brow slightly furrowed.

James and Peter nodded, also clearly wondering.

"Well, I was closer to them as we walked away, I just heard her say it..could've been wrong." Remus tried to sound as casual as possible.

"I'll go check!" Peter squeaked, and scurried over to the doors to the great hall, he squeezed through the doors, and in a second or two was running back over to them.

"It looks like it's true, the Slytherins have less points than last night!" He squeaked.

"Ha, well at least that's something?" James said, "what a nasty cow she is.." he added.

"Yeah." Sirius said distracted, brow still furrowed.

"I'm still surprised you heard her." Sirius said, looking shocked.

"Well, she also looks super pissed, now. That's for sure." James said, grimly.

Remus was glad James had gotten their attention off him.

They all turned to look over at Bellatrix.

She quickly swiped her finger across her throat in a deadly manner, glaring at Sirius.

Sirius swallowed.

"She's gonna kill me." Sirius groaned, shoving toast with jam into his mouth.

Later, the boys found their way back to their common room with no issues. Well, accept for Peeves, who blocked their path right as they were about to walk up to the hallway were the common room was.

"Hehe. Ickle first years. Hehe. Weeee." Peaves jeered at them.

Peter winced, and the rest of them groaned.

"Peaves, go away." Remus muttered, dragging his feet.

"Ha. Loony. Loony Lupin. Loony Lupin." Peaves teased before flying off cackling.

"Ha." Sirius barked.

"I'm calling you Loony, from now on." Sirius teased, clapping him on the shoulder.

Remus chuckled, sighing as they walked up the stairs to the corridor where the fat lady was.

Remus felt exhausted as he collapsed onto the couch in the common room, his body ached more and more by the minute.

He knew he couldn't get away with resting, it would be too noticeable that something was up.

He decided now was a good a time as any to tell them he'd be leaving.

"You know, I think I might miss our first night time Astronomy class tomorrow." Remus mentioned off hand.

"Wait, really? Why?" James asked.

Remus ears turned slightly red.

"It's my mom..she's a bit sick, she has this weird thing, it comes and goes. But, I might have to go see her."

"What? Your mom is sick?" Peter asked, "I hope she feels better soon."

Remus nodded, solemnly.

"She'll probably be totally fine. She's just a little dramatic." He explained.

"Crazy mothers. What are ya gonna do." Sirius shrugged.

Remus nodded, even though he didn't like the idea of calling his mother crazy.

"And it'll be a full moon. I bet we'll see all sorts of cool astrological stuff." Peter added, whining.

"It's too bad you'll miss it." Peter looked disappointed.

"Well, there's others. We have one or two each term I believe. There's at least two more night time classes during the full moon this year." James explained kindly.

"Yeah." Remus said, feeling panic rise in him just slightly.

How could he miss them all without raising suspicions.

He decided to try not to worry about it at that exact second in time. Perhaps having friends wouldn't be so easy.

Remus oftentimes found himself wondering those first few days if the boys he so often found in his company were his friends or not. He wasn't sure how to quantify a friend versus an acquaintance. He had very little experience in that area. He tried to dismiss the concern for the time..

Remus was glad they spent most of the day relaxing playing exploding snap on the common room. Remus was exhausted.

When they finally went to bed Remus knew he'd sleep well. He was beyond tired.

That night he had a horrible dream.

He dreamt of his first transformation. It had happened several years before, just prior to his 5th birthday.

'He was curled up on the sofa with his mother, he was sick and she had wrapped him in a blanket.

"Mommy, I'm scared." The small boy said.

The woman held him close.

"I know baby. I know. You rest." She comforted him.

Remus father came over to them.

"It's almost time." The man said solemnly.

The small boy whimpered, burying himself into his mother.

"Remus." He father said softly. "Do you remember what we said would happen tonight?" His father asked.

Remus nodded his small head.

"I'm going to change." He cried.

His father rubbed his back.

"Yeah buddy." He said. "I have to take you downstairs now."

Remus shook his head. Grabbing onto his mother, crying.

"No, I want to stay with mommy." Remus cried.

"I'm so sorry baby." She whispered to him. She picking him up and held on to him tightly.

"Remus I love you so much. You've done nothing wrong baby." She tried to comfort her small son. He had barely recovered from the attack a few weeks before and she was terrified of what would happen.

His mother carried him to the door of the basement. He cried, terrified to be left alone.

"Your brave son. You can do this." his father said, hugging him.

Remus was shaking and his father said he had to go down stairs now.

Remus wanted his mom to come down with him. He didn't want to be alone.

"I'll carry you down sweetie." She said.

She brought him to the area she had set up for him. She had tried so hard to make it decent for him. She laid down some soft blankets and a few pillows for him. she hoped it would bring him some comfort. Besides those items the basement was empty.

"Baby I'm so sorry. Mommy has to go now. I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault baby. I love you so much. I'll be waiting upstairs for you and will come get you as soon as I can in the morning."

"Mommy I don't want to be by myself." Remus sniffled. He tried to be brave for her.

"I know. I love you so much." She said, pulling away from his tiny form.

And then she left. Remus could hear his parents locking the door.

He curled up in the corner with the pillows his mother had left him. He held on to the items, trying to get some sense of security. He was too scared to cry now. He could hear his mother sobbing outside the basement door. She was telling him she loved him. Remus was too frightened to respond to her.

he could barely breathe and it felt like his throat was closing. he looked over, he saw a small sliver of moonlight start flooding through the tiny window of the basement. It crept across the floor. Remus backed into the corner even further, terrified of the light touching him. He hoped that maybe if it couldn't touch him, it couldn't hurt him.

He was wrong. he fell sideways gasping. Something was wrong.

Then he felt the pain. He tried to be brave but he screamed out in horrific wails of agony. It was like he was on fire, like he was being crushed. His voice sounded weird in his own head, like in a nightmare, when you scream for help but no sound comes out.

He could hear his mothers sobs outside the door, mixing with his own terror.

It felt like it went on forever.'

Eventually the next thing Remus knew he was waking up in his dormitory, and nearly 7 years had flown by in the blink of an eye. He gasped a little as he sat up in bed. It was morning. He had slept through the night despite the nightmare.

Remus took a long shower that morning and slapped his face a few times in the bathroom mirror, desperate for some color in his face.

He usually looked far worse after the full moon, but he hated how pale he got. He was just lucky he didn't get the sweats anymore.

He sighed a great breath, and emerged from the bathroom.