Chances

Jareth leaned nonchalantly against a velvety wall of nothing, looking right at home amidst the whispering shadows.

I glared at him. "'What are the chances?' you said."

He crossed his arms. "You must grant that they were rather small."

"Granted. But here we are, Jareth. What do we do about this…" I waved my hand around, "…clusterfuck of a situation?"

"Language, my dear. Little ears might be listening."

I glanced down at Feanor, who was blessedly still out like a light in his stroller, with its iridescent wings gently fanning back and forth in the amorphous twilight. "Little ears are sleeping. Meanwhile, I hope your mother's ears are burning. This is her doing."

"Don't you think that's a touch unfair?"

"Not in the slightest. You tell me if you think us being stuck unexpectedly in a patch of reality she has complete dominion over is coincidence."

His lips twitched. "She did mention wanting to see her grandchild."

"Then she can damned well visit the castle like my parents do."

"She prefers to stay in her own realm."

"As do we all. Hence my extreme irritation at being yanked here unexpectedly." I tapped my foot. "She could at least have provided some refreshments or something. Who knows how long she'll keep us waiting?"

"You really think she'd be so…petty?"

"Jareth. Please. No, don't you arch that eyebrow at me. You and I have been married for years. I've seen her handiwork enough times to know."

"Your stepmother is also rather exacting in her wishes, you know."

"Nope, don't try to deflect. This isn't about Karen. This is about your mother." I ground my teeth. "Your petty, petty mother."

A cultured contralto voice floated down from on high. "Really, dear, is it necessary to hurl imprecations?"

You could tell where Jareth got his vocal magic from. I shook off the effects of her voice. "At last, you grace us with your presence. How lovely."

"You need to work on your biting sarcasm, dear. I can help."

"I'm sure you can." I counted to five slowly in my head. Okay, then. "In the meantime, perhaps you could help us get somewhere more comfortable? Your grandson's going to wake up from his nap soon."

"Of course, dear. All you had to do was ask."

"Preferably somewhere none of us will be in imminent danger of immediate painful death."

She sighed. "If you insist. But you do take all the adventure out of a visit, you know."

"Somehow, I'll carry on."

"That's why I've always liked you, dear. Such moxie."

I shook my head. "You bent several dimensions into pretzels trying to prevent our marriage."

"But I still liked you while I was doing it."

And that was Faerie in-laws in a nutshell.