Hi everyone! As always, thank you to all who review and are following my story. I have to apologize for the delay in posting. RL has given my some challenges (leaving my job, getting pneumonia, etc). I promise to finish this story, and to update some others that have been sitting for waaaaay too long! Vini.

In the end, she'd agreed to rent a room at Magnus' and Magda's house. They told her they had the room, and that they would be very glad to have her. At first, she'd been worried, as they were Jack's friends, but it had worked out well. She liked the kind and humble man that was Magnus and had grown to love Magda. The woman was warm, smart and very witty and she relished having a woman friend. Both soon made it clear that they valued their friendship with her as much as with theirs with the Colonel.

Unfortunately, she'd been unable to find another job close to where she was living, so she'd finally agreed to work at the Mercantile. Jack had suggested putting her in charge of product management. Her role was to manage inventory, scope out new products – and even look at inventing some. She knew Jack gave her this job as a way for her to use her creativity. Although she didn't want to admit it, she was grateful. For her, it was way better than being a waitress.

Her relationship with Jack was – well – static. They'd developed a professional demeanor around one another, much like when they'd first started working together. Neither of them was cold nor unfriendly, they just weren't "friendly". There was no more of the easy camaraderie that had existed before and certainly none of the simmering feelings they'd each felt. At least that is what she told herself.

Jack had tried, on more than one occasion, to re-establish some kind of friendship, but she'd rebuffed him every time. Oh, not in words, but in not responding to any of his jokes, not giving him the bright smiles she had once reserved for him, and not sharing anything of herself outside of their working relationship.

He'd eventually given up, and now treated her just like she treated him. She hated it.

She was also very worried about him. The Colonel hadn't said anything, and no one else seemed to think there was anything odd, but he was different. It was as if a light had gone out inside of him, and she was sure it wasn't because of her or her treatment of him. No, it had been there right from the beginning. It was as if he forced himself to go on, to act as normal as he could, but inside there was only a shell. The only time she really saw any difference was when he interacted with Simon and Jankin. They could bring out the old, caring Jack.

He was pleasant with Ethan and seemed to have made many new friends. He would smile and laugh and speak to them as if everything was fine. She was sure none of them suspected – except maybe Ethan and Magnus, although neither of them said anything.

Something had happened to change him, and she wished she knew what it was. Maybe it was her, she told herself. But then she shook her head. No, that wasn't it.

She groaned softly. She didn't know why she felt the way she did about the Colonel. Consciously, she knew he didn't do anything wrong. If he had been able to, he would have returned for her. But still – and illogically, she was angry. She felt betrayed and hurt. She glanced down at her leg and knew that part of the reason was the loss of her career – if they made it back to Earth.

She tried to tell herself that, even if the Colonel had returned quickly, it may not have made a difference. Although in some ways the medical treatment on Varid was as good as Earth's, in others it was far behind and her leg may have been just too damaged to fix.

But none of that mattered. She was furious at him and not ready to forgive.

Jack sighed and rubbed his forehead. It was a hot day and he'd spent it carrying boxes of their new products into storage. Since Sam had started working for them their business had grown even more. She'd managed to source and to create products that were in huge demand.

They'd had to hire new staff and were bursting at the seams at their present site. He'd spent the last week scouting for a new, second location although as yet without success. He'd been terribly busy which of course meant he hadn't had a moment to spend with the boys. He hated that, as they were the one – or he guessed two things, who made things bearable. He'd have to speak with Ethan about hiring another person to help him. If things had been different, he would have recommended Sam. She'd been an amazing second in command, and they'd always worked well together.

But things were different now – completely different. They had a completely professional relationship, but the trust was gone. They were no longer in tune with one another, and having her work directly under him, as in the past, just wasn't a good idea.

He thought of how sad that was.

He let out a huff of breath and once again wiped the sweat from his forehead. It was time to go in and get cleaned up in time for dinner. Even though he was tired – bone-tired if he was honest – he'd promised to read to Simon and Jankin that evening. He knew they were missing him, and he needed to spend time with them.

"You should ask her out," Ethan said after dinner, for perhaps the 100th time. "She is a beautiful woman and I know you like her," the older man prodded him, a sly grin on his face.

Jacked took a deep breath, silently since he didn't want to get angry at the older man. "I'm going to read to the boys," he said with a smile, refusing to answer. He didn't see the speculative look on his friend's face as he left the table.

As he walked up the stairs, he thought about Ethan's comment. The man was getting less and less subtle in his attempts to matchmake between Carter and him. He'd tried to ignore his friend, and usually made some small quip or just grinned – but it was getting more and more tiresome and frustrating. He knew that soon he'd have to say something to get Ethan to stop. It was difficult, however, as he owed so much to his friend.

And it wasn't just Ethan. Magnus also teased him, although more subtly. He hadn't done anything more than smile in response, but he knew he'd have to say something to him soon.

It was – hard – especially considering how he'd always felt about Sam. But more than that, he worried that it would make her uncomfortable if his friends started being more obvious in front of her. He didn't want to put her in that kind of position, and he was also afraid it might cause her to leave.

Even if they weren't together, even if they were no longer friends, he valued her. It brought him a small measure of – if not happiness, at least serenity, to have her around. He didn't want anything to screw that up.

Logically, he knew that if there was no way home, she might, one day, find someone to love. It would be sad if she didn't find a life for herself. He wanted her to be happy, really, he did – although the thought almost killed him.

As for him, well, that was never going to happen. Even if Sam wasn't angry at him, even if she did still have feelings, it wouldn't have worked. Nor would there be anyone else for him.

Ethan knew what had happened to him. He'd been there, with the doctor, when they'd worked to save his life. Magnus too knew a few of the details. Both of his friends also knew that he'd been – damaged, emotionally – by the experience. They didn't use the term here, but what he had was major trauma and a raging case of PTSD.

What neither of them knew, however, was that the damage wasn't just emotional. He'd been assaulted and tortured for days, and the wounds were permanent. He would never be able to have a relationship or to marry. It was no longer in the cards for him.

He knew he should have been more devastated about it, but the fact was that the emotional scars were so deep that, even if everything worked, he wouldn't have been interested. Other than playing with the boys – and that first hug when he found out Sam was alive – he didn't even like touching anyone.

He snorted bitterly. His life had already been pretty screwed up, and then this planet had happened. In many ways he knew he was a walking shell, although enough humanity remained in him to love the two boys and to appreciate all that had been done for him and the friendship of good people.

He also still cared for Sam, but it was a shadow of what it had been and definitely not physical. But his care for her had been muted. He was grateful she had survived, but unfortunately, gratitude was one of the only emotions he retained.

Don't kid yourself, Jack, the little voice in his head interrupted him. You have lots of emotions running around in your brain: fear, anger, shame, terror. Yes, they all lived quite happily in his mind, making most of his days a living hell.

"You're gettin' maudlin, Jack," he told himself as he arrived at his room. "Get your ass in gear and get movin'." He had two little boys waiting to spend time with him.

A tiny speck of joy made its way into his soul.