MOTHERLAND

Dalla watched from the patio as Yularen tossed the brightly colored ball to Sandor and grinned when he caught it. "Well done! Throw it back to me now."

Sandor tossed it with both hands and Yularen had to take a step forward to catch it, then quickly toss the ball away to catch the little boy who was barreling into his arms.

"Woah there!"

Sandor threw his arms around Yularen's neck. "I love you, Grandpa."

Yularen's expression was pure bliss. "I love you too."

"Alright, you two," Dalla interrupted. "It's time to get ready for bed."

"But Grandpa's here!" Sandor protested.

"Listen to your mother." Yularen put him down. "When you're all ready, I'll read you a bedtime story."

"The one about the big red cog?"

"Of course. Why don't you go and find it for me?"

Sandor took off, leaving the two of them alone.

"So, what has you glued to your comm?" He asked.

"Final interviews for a new handler." She groaned. "I'm getting a headache just thinking about it."

"You're not sure if you can trust them?"

"It's a little more complicated than that." In fact it was a lot more complicated, because the potential new handler was none other than Lux Bonteri, senator for Onderon and Dalla's ex boyfriend.

He didn't know who she was, obviously, which somehow made it worse when she had to ask him things like "why did you marry an Imperial loyalist."

"It's a political marriage, in name only," Lux told her. "She needed my wealth, and I needed to appear loyal. Marriage was the best solution for both of us."

"How do you plan to hide your involvement from your wife?" she'd asked.

"It shouldn't be hard. We keep separate rooms, separate lives actually. Even if I wasn't going to handle it's probably for the best; my only other relationship was with my high school girlfriend and I really screwed the pooch on that one."

It was a good thing the connection was audio only, because Dalla's expression was worth a thousand words.

"Do you think it's going to work out?" Yularen asked before Dalla could blush again.

"I do. We always need more hands on deck, and this one seems devoted."

"If they're half as devoted as you, then the defectors are in good hands." He changed the subject. "As is Sandor. Has he grown a foot since I saw him last?"

"An entire foot, no. Several inches, yes. I don't know how he does it when he basically only eats nuna nuggets."

"Ah yes, the nuna nuggets. Apparently they have some nutritional value, or humanity would go extinct."

"I guess I'm getting as good as I gave; I ate nothing but fried tubers when I was a kid. Aren't you glad you weren't around for that?"

He snorted. "You've made up for it."

She couldn't hold back a laugh. "I have."

Yularen laughed and she knew he loved her even though she gave him gray hair. She was about to ask him how Estelle and Graf were doing when her comm rang.

"Your prospective handler?"

"No, actually." She checked the caller ID again to make sure it wasn't a hallucination. "It's my aunt."

She didn't want to pick up, but the way Yularen was looking at her she knew it wasn't an option. Dalla answered, praying it was a pocket dial.

"Hello?"

"Dalla," Aunt Shara answered. "You need to come home."

Here it was again. "What is it? We can probably take care of whatever it is over the HoloNet."

"No. You need to come home right now, on the next transport. It…it's urgent."

It was always urgent. They knew they couldn't get her on the comm any other way, but ninety percent of the time it didn't require Dalla's physical presence no matter what her tech-averse family said. "Aunt Shara, if it's docs, or a trade agreement, or anything really, you can scan them over to me and they'll be back in five minutes."

"It's not docs."

"Did something happen?"

"Yes. I shouldn't say anything more, but … yes."

Dxun, she really couldn't get out of that one gracefully. Dalla sighed. "I'll see what I can do."

"Hurry," her aunt implored and ended the comm.

Yularen cleared his throat. "An invitation?"

"More like a summons. They want me to drop everything and go up north and gods help me, I'm going to do it."

Yularen didn't look sufficiently horrified. "That doesn't sound so bad. Frankly, you need a vacation."

"This won't be a vacation."

"It's a trip home at the very least. Don't you miss Blackhold?"

Did she? Dalla had to think about it for a moment.

"I miss the ocean," she admitted. "It was right next door my whole life and now I have to travel just to see it."

Yularen furrowed his brow. "What about your family?"

"Hardly thought about them in years," she shrugged. "I take care of whatever they need via HoloNet, but it's better for everyone if I stay away."

He didn't bite. "Better for them, I understand. But better for you?"

"You know my work," Dalla gestured vaguely. "Something's got to give, and I'd rather it be extended family rather than Bernard and Sandor or gods forbid, the defectors. Besides," she smiled, "I don't need it. I've got you and Estelle, and the brothers who don't know I exist."

"We're an addition, Dalla, not a replacement."

"I know. Trust me, once I put out this fire I'll be lectured enough."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's always the same thing with them: why did you move to Iziz, why don't you call more, you should bring Sandor up for the summer." She threw up her hands. "I can't exactly close my cells! And kriff, Bernard's on a business trip. Who's going to watch Sandor?"

A hungry glint lit in Yularen's eye. "I will, obviously."

"Do you want me to go just so you can babysit?"

"It's a perk. Get your things; we'll tell Sandor after you're packed."

…

He was between missions and wouldn't be for long if he had anything to say about it. Crosshair walked down the Iziz streets in a beeline for Mollymauk's house. She always needed someone for a bit of fetch and carry, and Crosshair needed a job to keep him off Pabu.

It wasn't like he was avoiding it. There was no logical reason to avoid it when his brothers lived on Pabu, as well as Genna and her twins and the new boyfriend. Crosshair just had better things to do with his time than lounge around some beach, and he wouldn't squander them.

He found Mollymauk's residence with ease and knocked on the door. Another day, another credit.

But it wasn't the fence or her husband who answered the door. It was someone Crosshair never expected in a consummate rebel's home.

"Crosshair," Yularen opened the door a crack wider. "May I help you?"

Crosshair's hand itched to his holster. "What are you doing here, Admiral?"

"Babysitting."

"Seriously?"

"So far he's easier than a Jedi general and you lot disregarding my every command. What are you doing here?"

If Mollymauk was compromised, then someone needed to warn the rest of the rebellion. But Yularen had led the raid of Mt. Tantiss and put the former doctor Hemlock away for life. And someone had leaked those clearance codes for the Marauder to enter Weyland space…

"Grandpa!" A little boy in footed pajamas pattered down the hallway with a stuffed animal in hand. "It's not working."

"Not working? Let me see." He took the toy and fiddled with the back until it emanated a glowing blue light. "There, now back to bed with you. I'll be in to check on you later."

"Thank you." The boy hugged his plushie and scurried away.

"Yours?" Crosshair nodded after him.

"My grandson, thank you very much." Yularen let him in. "I assume you were looking for Dalla?"

Why else would he be here? "I hoped she might have a job for me."

"I'm sorry to disappoint, but she had to leave for a family emergency. Sit down." He gestured to the kitchen table and Crosshair took a seat. "How are your brothers?"

"Fine."

"And your sister-in-law, the hairdresser? Are she and her daughters well?"

He scoffed. "They're not alone."

"Of course not, I'm sure your brothers are always prepared to help."

"Not them. There's a new boyfriend around."

"And that's why you're avoiding them?"

"I'm not avoiding anyone."

Yularen bent a quelling look on him and Crosshair stopped.

"After three children I've heard every lie, half truth, and evasion there is, so you might as well save your breath. Does this boyfriend treat his partner and her children well?"

"From what I've heard." He had to admit that.

"And they seem to enjoy each other's company? They make each other happy?"

He nodded.

"Then why are you avoiding him?"

Why was he avoiding Beroya? Crosshair glared at Dalla's kitchen table. Just his kriffing luck that she was out of town and the all-knowing Yularen was in her home.

"They're your brother's children. You don't like seeing them raised by another man."

Was the man secretly a Force wielder?

Yularen sighed and sat back in his chair. "I've been on both sides of this situation. Every battle I fought in I wasn't sure if I would see my son again, and sometimes I was almost certain I wouldn't. Your brother's sacrifice was a demonstration of his courage and strength, and I admire him for it. But it takes an equal measure of courage and strength to raise another man's child."

Crosshair looked from the table.

Yularen continued. "I brought my son Graf into the universe, so it was my responsibility to raise him, but I had no such obligation to Alexsandr and Dalla. They aren't my blood, we had no legal ties, and I could have walked away or held them at a distance and no one would have judged me.

"Instead I guided them when they were lost, I panicked when they were in danger, I endured when they didn't listen, I held them in my arms at their lowest points, and I loved them through it all. I poured out my full measure and for those three, I would do it all again."

And he would. Crosshair swore he could see Yularen's love for his children radiating from his being.

"I would want someone to love my children if I couldn't be there for them; I can't imagine Tech would want differently. This boyfriend isn't a reason to avoid your family."

"It should have been me. Not to take Tech's place but it was my responsibility as his brother to care for his family."

"They need both their uncle and their adoptive father. Don't deprive them of your presence."

…

Dalla saw her brother from the transport window as it made its final approach and relaxed in her seat. If she had to come up here, she'd rather spend the time with Thias than anyone else. He'd assumed her old responsibilities when she moved her base of operations to Iziz, and taken to it like a duck to water.

He didn't know, of course, but he understood what it was like for people like them. Perhaps a pint at the pub was in order, just the two of them.

She hadn't checked any luggage, so as soon as the doors were open she disembarked the transport and said "You're going to wear out the landing platform pacing like that."

"Dalla," he sighed. "You made it."

"It was close, but I got Sloan to cover the museum for me." She hugged him, wondering when he'd gotten so much taller. "Were you trying to get away from the whirlwind?"

"No whirlwind." Thias started down the street like he was on a mission.

Dalla hurried to keep pace with him. "What do you mean, no whirlwind? Aunt Shara made it sound like the Hold was on fire."

"Cade's holding down the fort while I'm gone, but I don't want to leave him alone for long. Too much can happen."

He wasn't talking in public, and that couldn't be good. Dalla bit her tongue until they reached the Hold.

Castle Blackhold wasn't the imperial palace by any means; it was squat and sturdy with only one feature which could generously be called a tower, but it wasn't built for looks. Generations ago when the northern masons hauled the stones up the island's cliffs, they were building a fortress. Try to approach the castle by land and invaders would meet impenetrable walls, by sea and they'd be torn apart by rocks and the bones of the condemned who'd taken a final walk down the sea stairs. Blackhold had been built to endure, and it would endure whatever had Thias out of sorts.

The heavy door shut behind them and she took her brother by the shoulder. "Thi, what is it?"

He took a deep breath. "Father collapsed last night. The doctor says he had a stroke."

For a single second that Dalla would never forgive herself for, she thought of Yularen before she remembered Thias was talking about the father they shared. "What?" She sputtered. "Why isn't he at the medcenter in Iziz? There's no neurosurgery up here."

"It wouldn't matter. The doctor says he should have died instantly and it's just a matter of time before he does." He exhaled. "I think he's holding on to see you."

"He probably wants to say goodbye to all of us —."

"He can't speak, and we already said them. It's just you who's left."

"You know what this means."

"Aye," he sagged. "I do. Which is why I'm going to need your formal abdication."

Politics. This, she could do. "You'll have it in my handwriting, on Hold stationery, and with the official seal in ten minutes. Just give me a pen."

"You want to write it now?"

"I need a minute to process before I go in."

Thias wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he understood. "He's in his room when you're ready."

Dalla wrote the abdication on autopilot while her mind ran like a starship engine.

Her father was dying. They'd last spoken – she counted on her fingers – two months ago, and that conversation had quickly devolved into an argument about her schedule, an angry hang-up, and an eventual rant to Bernard about why she even tried. Now they would never argue again. They would never make up for their last argument, or the ones before it, and he would never know why she stepped away.

She pressed her pen into the flimsi and realized she'd reached the end, the abdication written and signed. She took a little longer than strictly necessary to affix Blackhold's official seal, and sighed. She really couldn't put it off any longer.

Dalla laid the abdication on the desk and left the office. No one else was in the hallway as she walked to her father's room, and she thanked the gods for small miracles.

"Father?"

The man in the bed seemed like he was a fraction of the size he was when she last saw him. Half his face was slack, the muscles paralyzed, and his arms lay uselessly at his sides. But at the sound of her voice, Marlon Blackwell stirred and opened his eyes.

Dalla swallowed hard. "Hi."

Despite everything, Marlon smiled back. It was like their arguments had been completely forgotten. Or more accurately, forgiven.

"I came as soon as I could." She tiptoed to the bedside chair and took his hand. "I had to get a babysitter for Sandor and close down the museum, so…" She gulped. "All the paperwork is done. Thias is ready to take the position, and everything else is in order. The transfer should be seamless."

She looked into his still-loving eyes, and all her walls came crashing down.

"Father, I'm sorry," she blurted. "I'm sorry we fought, and that I wasn't here when this happened. You shouldn't have had to go through it by yourself. And … and everything else. We used to do it all together before I left."

Marlon made a sound which might have been an affirmative, that she should be sorry or that they'd spent all that time together she couldn't say.

"I didn't mean to be away as much as I did. Things just got out of control, and, and it's –." she sighed. "It's complicated. But I promise, I never abandoned my duties."

His mouth curled. Gods, she hated that she couldn't tell him the truth.

Except…

She could.

Dalla looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was coming, and then leaned close to her father's ear.

"There's this fence who popped up a while ago, selling stolen Imperial goods and using the money to fund insurgents across the galaxy. The Empire's going crazy looking for them and trying to cut off the credit line."

"'Ol-awh," Marlon slurred.

"Aye, Mollymauk. They're so busy looking for her, it's easy to overlook little things like remote islands. They'll never come up here at this rate."

He furrowed his brow.

"Father," she whispered. "It's me. I'm Mollymauk."

Her father squinted as the truth sunk in, and then they shone with unimaginable pride.

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you."

Marlon grunted, and it sounded a bit like a scoff.

"You don't need to worry about me either; I have people looking out for me. I lead a whole network and I have another branch of family with two more brothers." She laughed to mask the tears spilling from her eyes. "They're older, like Sloan. I don't know what I'm going to do with five brothers. And Yularen will always be there, no matter what. We can count on him."

Marlon nodded and closed his eyes.

"I'll get everyone else."

He squeezed her hand.

"Okay. I'll stay."

…

Half an hour later, Dalla emerged from the room to her whole family waiting in the hall.

Thias swallowed. "Is he –?"

She nodded, and the family swarmed past her while she kept walking down the hall, through the Hold, and farther still until she was up to her knees in the ocean and physically couldn't go any farther.

She swiped at the waves and let out a guttural scream. The sea drowned her out but she didn't care. Her comm rang, but for once in her life she ignored the incoming call.

How many times had she thought about the day she could leave nobility behind, even before she was Mollymauk? She remembered on the days she felt like she would buckle under pressure, when she would come out to the water and wish that she could turn into a mollymauk and fly away.

Dalla screamed again and realized that, in the worst way possible, she had gotten her wish.