For the following days while Ethan recovered, Heisenberg was like an elusive ghost. His presence was like a mirage but whenever he went, he did it without leaving a single clue. Ethan was familiar with the layout of the factory for the most part but no matter where he looked, Heisenberg had vanished – somewhat. His truck remained parked outside the house, so he was around and there were signs of him overnight. He had his phone with him, but all calls and texts were left unanswered.
At first, it frustrated Ethan but a sneaking worry caused him to listen for any sounds in the house in hopes of catching Heisenberg and just talking. Thus, it had been one early morning when Ethan woke up far earlier than usual. Groggy from less rest than usual, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up, surrounded by the passing twilight.
Downstairs, there were subtle sounds of footsteps that caused him to slip out of bed and get dressed, trying to make as little noise as possible. He looked into the crib, making sure that Rose was still sleeping before gingerly leaving the bedroom, taking the baby monitor with him just to be safe.
Once downstairs, Ethan spotted the moving figure of Heisenberg making his way to the factory but forgoing the actual building, making a beeline for a water tower that stood close by. He had to maneuver around some heaps of metallic junk before he could make his way to the ladder and climb up. If this was where he was hiding, then no wonder it was like he had vanished. Ethan headed outside, using the dim light to guide him through the white wilderness.
The factory's lights had long since shut off so navigating was bit of a test until Ethan could map out his way around the heaps. The snow obscured what it was, but he swore he could see the remains of a tank there. A passing thought about fencing in the area when Rose began walking passed Ethan's mind as he reached for the ladder and climbed up.
The steel's chill sank right through his gloves with each step until he reached the top of the water tower and rubbed his hands upon making his way around the circular platform until he spotted Heisenberg leaning against the railing.
"Found you. Finally," Ethan let out a sigh of relief. It disturbed him how nothing in Heisenberg moved except the cherry of his cigar and the smoke surrounding him.
Then after a long pause, he finally spoke, "Shouldn't you keep an eye on Rose?"
Ethan gestured with the baby monitor, closing the distance between them. The urge to put a hand on the man's shoulder was almost overwhelming, tingling in his fingers with empathetic urgency. Instead, he tried to control himself, leaning over the railing while they peered over the brightening morning. He looked at Heisenberg then, noting how the man's eyes occasionally shot a sideways glance right back at him.
"Hey, talk to me. What's wrong?" Ethan asked. He already had a good indicator of what was happening, but it wasn't his mystery to solve or his place to push. "You can always trust me."
"Heh. I do so hate cliches but it's not you. It's me," Heisenberg chuckled with bitterness. "It's the power that bitch Miranda holds over me. I can't believe I allow myself to get browbeaten by her time and time again. I-we all want to tell her that she can go fuck herself, but we don't because we're weak. And in this world, the strong destroy the weak."
Ethan stepped closer to him, compelled by empathy, compelled by the promise of warmth. A faint sense of déjà vu came over him, like he was listening to the familial woes of another loved one. But it felt more introspective than any conversation, he had with Mia regarding the Bakers. For one, it wasn't an argument filled with excuses and diversions. Just pure soul-searching.
"…Well, no. Obviously, the problem is her," he concluded. For a moment, he anticipated Heisenberg telling him that no, nothing was wrong and then complaining about Ethan liking dick.
"She keeps calling Rose Eva. It's-was her daughter, who died before she adopted us. We don't mean anything to her, and she'd sure let us know how much she does not love us," Heisenberg shrugged, smoking the last of his cigar and tossing it to the floor. What remained of it was kicked under the railing as he continued, only to trail off into musing thought. "Yet here I am, shackled to her. I suppose there's part of me that…"
A lot of things settled into Ethan upon hearing the words spoken at him. Discomfort, protectiveness, unease, dread. It all came flooding at once, answering numerous questions Ethan didn't know he had. He looked down at the dim heaps of snow below, a shiver running down his spine.
"That part tells me the fault lies with me – us. I hate that crazy bitch but…" Heisenberg broke the silence, moving closer to Ethan until their shoulders touched, like a flame in the biting cold. He had closed the distance between them, and Ethan felt confident in swinging an arm around his shoulder.
"She's your mother. I know you hate that fact, but she is. I think we as humans are just really adept at sticking to family, good or bad. As a kid, you just want what they won't give you and you stick with them because you feel like you should. And maybe that thing you want will get granted one day," Ethan mused.
He hadn't grown up with abuse or drama. His parents were normal, good-hearted, plain people. Typical West Coast folk which extended to his other relatives. Inoffensive to each other like butter was to white toast. So Ethan was probably as privileged as could be when it came to what type of family he could have.
He realized this when Louisiana happened. He understood what functional dysfunction looked like. While it had been one of many fractures in his marriage, it gave him the opportunity to reflect and expand his horizon. He felt better standing here and listening, understanding the woes the man next to him battled with.
"Heh. Imagine getting pulled in from the rain as a lonesome child and then spending decades in the overwhelmingly crushing meat grinder care of Miranda. I found out that way life is much better alone," Heisenberg furled just a bit. All the vigor, the confidence, his charm seemed to have been sucked out of him from that godawful meeting. Like it was the drop that made the cup overflow.
"You're not alone," Ethan reminded him, pressing their bodies together. "I think you need a break from Miranda, the village, all of this. Even the factory, really. Stay at my apartment for a while. It'll be just me and you and Rose."
Only now did Heisenberg turn to look at him. The brightening sky reflected in his shades and the scent of metal and tobacco lingered off him stronger than normal. "I won't hear the end of it if I do."
"Who gives a shit what she says? It's your choice to make and I'll tell that to her if she tries something. Not that I think she can but it's the thought that counts," Ethan grinned and watched Heisenberg's expression with a bated breath. A breath that was let go upon seeing the smirk on his face.
Slowly, the sun was making its way over the village, painting orange light on the tallest trees in the surrounding forest and the top of the mountains. It didn't quite hit the water tower yet and the cold was beginning to penetrate Ethan's clothing, making him shudder and shiver. Heisenberg the madman removed his coat and draped it around him.
If the cold affected him, he didn't make it apparent, but Ethan's gut still shuddered with worry. He readily followed Heisenberg down the ladder, and around the heap of metallic junk. They made it to the entrance of the house before Ethan stopped by the doorway with a burning proposal.
"Look, you always have me to talk to. I'll gladly listen. I just want you to be happy. I don't care that your siblings are weird or that your mom is a crazy bitch. So please, if something's up, come to me. It's one of those relationship things where we can't just avoid each other or have sex instead of talking," he uttered, forthcoming but testing.
A breakdown of communication was the death knell for any relationship. Ethan realized that it went both ways; he'd have to open up and face his own demons. Let someone in for once instead of relying on antidepressants and later mental repression. Just the mere thought of it caused his gut to tighten. On the other side, would there finally be closure for him then? He didn't know. He didn't want to have any false hopes, but he didn't want to be alone with it anymore.
He didn't want to lose someone again because of it, walking towards Heisenberg and hugging him like he was about to fade off the face of the planet. He felt warm and sturdy in Ethan's embrace and his strong arms were like tree-trunks. Ironic that this had been born from a call for more communication as a pleasant silence settled over them, much needed over words as the nature of their relationship transformed into something precious and rich.
They remained until the baby monitor went off.
That very same day, they had left the house, spending the night in Ethan's apartment. For as pleasant as it had been, there was a level of restlessness that permeated Heisenberg's every waking moment. For one, he smoked more than usual. It was never discussed what had exactly happened during the meeting or what was discussed but Ethan wasn't dying for answers either.
It was a story to be told another day. For now, Ethan was just happy to see Heisenberg liven up and spoil Rose absolutely rotten with attention. Hell, he even managed to change her diaper once or twice. There would be no need to call the nanny tomorrow, Ethan concluded.
The next morning, he was gently eased out of his sleep, earlier than usual. His fever had subsided so he could be conscious without wanting to keel over. He lay sprawled beneath the covers, waking up in waves. Rolling over on his side, he rubbed his eyes before looking over at the other side of the bed.
Heisenberg was already awake, looking like he was fresh and ready to face the day. The unnaturally bright light that peered through the curtains highlighted the scars across his face. He tugged some stray hairs away, closing his eyes at the hand that came to rest against his cheek.
"Hey. How was your first break?" Ethan asked, brushing his thumb against a particularly long scar.
Heisenberg hesitated for a moment, humming softly under his breath like he was still tasting emotional independence and all its flavors. "Anxiety-inducing, relieving, tense, soothing."
But not enough to make him leave. If Ethan remembered correctly, there was a celebration for the coming of spring sometime in the near future. It had been mentioned in passing when he stopped at Luiza's house that one night. No doubt it had been the general topic of the meeting and if so, it meant that Heisenberg had to participate – even when he didn't wish to. He deserved a break then. He could stay here until the event had passed. Ethan leaned over to kiss him for all he was worth – which was a whole lot.
"You'll get used to it. I think it'll be good for you. I got work today so make yourself at home."
"Do you find yourself obligated to fix my…" Heisenberg said then out of the blue before continuing, a little strained. "Family? Miranda not included, because you can't fix bitchy."
No. That was the simple answer to that. Ethan learned in Dulvey that he as an outsider had no say in the closeted skeletons of a family. Even as he saw things for what they were, his words were simply not valued. But as the outsider he was, he'd do his best to cheer on from the sidelines.
"No. I mean, they're my in-laws but as I said, the issue is her, not them. And I can't fix people. I can only encourage them."
Heisenberg quirked an eyebrow, "So is that encouragement to meet the last two?"
"If you want me to."
"They don't know how to handle Rose so it'll be without her," Heisenberg sat up, running a hand through his hair. As usual, it was a frizzy mess in the morning. It was a mess all the time.
A family meeting without Rose sounded like a splendid idea, Ethan thought. His shoulders slumped in relief while he got up from the bed to get dressed. "Fine by me."
"They might scare you too," Heisenberg's lips pulled into a teasing smile.
The prospect of anyone scaring Ethan caused a slither of terror to run down his spine. Just for a moment, he feared that he was going through another bout of repeated events. The nervousness lasted for but a second but it must have been apparent as Heisenberg lifted himself off the bed and stood looming behind Ethan, blowing faint huffs of warm air onto the back of his neck like a nonverbal reassurance. It was enough to make skipping work tempting so he could stay at home, huddled up under blankets, and watch kid films with Rose.
"Right. How about this? I bring you some trinkets from the auto shop you can play with. I'll leave the car so you can get tools and stuff," Ethan turned around, voicing his offer from a partial sense of responsibility. It was a good reminder that he'd better get to work and the smile on Heisenberg's face was a nice reward on top of everything.
"Well, well. That's mighty kind of you," he said, watching the other man pace around the room to get properly dressed for work – and the process of going outside.
The apartment was located within brisk walking distance of the auto shop and the forecast had promised clear weather. Of course, tempered by ball-breaking low temperatures. Times were nearing the backend of the cold season, the days were slowly getting longer, and spring was slowly approaching but good lord, did it feel like winter was everlasting.
Wanting to be safe, Ethan found a thicker pair of socks just as the baby monitor began to go off. Before he could move, Heisenberg had already made his way to Rose, eventually emerging with a groggy toddler in his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, rubbing her heavy eyes by the time Ethan walked to the hallway, searching for a woolen scarf and the most thermal coat he owned.
"Guess Papa will be leaving you now forever. Ain't that sad? " A smug smirk formed on Heisenberg's lips. Same old, same old, effective in making Ethan chuckle as he gently slapped him across the shoulder.
Rose reached out to her father, and he took her. She wasn't so talkative in the morning, generally docile but just as adorable as always. She was like a soft pillow in Ethan's arms, deserving of the very best. Ethan made a silent vow to keep her away from Miranda's fixated eye. The fear of what she could do to Rose, made him shiver.
"I'll be back soon, sweetheart, so take care and keep an eye on him," he said softly before he passed her over to Heisenberg. She wasn't too keen on letting go, whining and murmuring in displeasure before it all ended in a yawn. She'd be okay.
The apartment was quiet when Ethan returned from work. He stopped to look through the open doorway to Rose's room, seeing the bed empty. He didn't have to make any guesses as to where she was as he spotted her in the middle of some walking training with Heisenberg.
She was getting better, smiling and laughing as she tumbled with Heisenberg holding her hands, guiding her every step. It all ended when Rose spotted her father and crawled towards him until he could pick her up. At this rate, she'd be up and walking before long.
"Oh my god, you two are busy," Ethan grinned at Rose wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. In the meantime, Heisenberg stood with his arm crossed over his chest, leaning against the nearest wall. He didn't appear as restless as he did yesterday but the drumming of his fingers against his arm suggested that he was getting antsy from not smoking.
His expression was a little strained, softening a notch from the brief kiss against his lips from Ethan. The smell of oil and gasoline must have been extra attractive to him. Despite how good, it must have felt, he couldn't quite help the quiet sigh that came from him.
"Another so-called sibling sent me an email, asking for both of us to come for her tea party this weekend."
"Okay," Ethan put down Rose and she tried to stand up, fumbling on her way to some of her toys. "Let's go - if you want to?"
"Heh. I never want to go but I had a thought. I'll try to make peace with the others and maybe then, we can break free from the haze and stand up to that bi-" Heisenberg cut himself off, shooting a brief glance at Rose crawling around before he continued. "Lady. Now, that's not to say I'll be singing Kumbaya with the lot of them if it happens."
Ethan was simultaneously concerned and intrigued. Obviously, Heisenberg wasn't on good terms with his siblings, but it was beginning to sound as if Miranda was the corrosive acid ruining their relationship. Maybe things weren't so simple, maybe they were. Maybe this experiment was going to end well…but there was a chance that it wouldn't, and Ethan didn't want to risk losing Heisenberg or another set of fingers over it.
"That's a great idea. I think it might give you some peace of mind. And unity. And solidarity. I'll wave some pompoms for you as your cheerleader," Ethan passed two hands over Heisenberg's broad chest, watching him shudder and swallow. Something golden began to glow between them while they stood there, slowly pulled closer until Ethan had Heisenberg's arms wrapped around him and his lips to the side of his neck, rough beard scratching against his skin.
Ethan let out a shaking break, partly worried that he'd get stripped naked right where he stood. He meekly pressed against Heisenberg's chest, parental responsibility reminding him that Rose was less than five feet away, thankfully too preoccupied to note the sexual tension filling the room. "I smell of oil. But…we could put a movie on and get some beers after Rose has been put to bed and I've washed?"
"As long as it ends with me inside of you," Heisenberg smirked in such a way that sent heat pooling in Ethan's gut.