Nothing is mine.
Harry eats some raspberries...
Once
A warm soft breeze rolled across the fields, sweeping through the long green grass and the wild spring flowers, breaking the river's low waves into countless tiny ripples.
Harry rubbed his beak on the branch beneath his toes atop the willow and ignored the gnawing pangs of hunger, watching his daughter stomp her way down the hill through the cherry blossom. Katie heaved the green watering can against her stomach with feathered arms and small clenched fists, muttering under her breath as she stormed along the riverbank and spilt little splashes of water over her dark purple dress.
What's wrong, little chick? Did your maman forget to buy enough cake?
Katie toted the watering can to the base of the willow and poured a rush of water over it. The steady stream pattered into the long grass around the trunk as she muttered under her breath.
It really doesn't need water, baby bird. It's almost as old as you and right by the river.
'Here you go, tree.' His daughter took one hand off the can and patted the willow bark. 'Lots of nice water.' She watched the last trickle escape the spout with pitch black irises. 'So you can grow up into a really big tree like the one that used to be here.'
It's already pretty big compared to you. Harry tapped his beak against the branch. But you're still quite small.
Katie glanced up. 'Bonjour, Henri.' The little white fluffy feathers slipped back under skin as she set the can down in the grass. 'I don't have any cherries today, but I have raspberries? Maybe you will like them, too.'
I will eat any real food you give me. His stomach chewed at itself. Except maybe pumpkin.
His daughter dug her hand into the pocket of her dress and dug out a fistful of squashed raspberries. 'Uh oh,' she muttered, peering into the pocket. 'Maman is going to be cross.'
Because you squished raspberries into the pocket of your pretty purple dress? A burst of laughter escaped Harry in a loud caw. She'll scold you like she used to scold me, little chick.
'It's okay, Henri.' Katie's eyes darkened. 'Maman is always cross with me anyway, because I don't want her to keep me locked away here.' She waved her fistful of raspberries. 'Come on down. I can't feed you from up there.'
Harry spread his wings and drifted down to perch on top of her head. Her bright silver hair shone between his toes, catching his eye as it fluttered in the breeze; he grabbed at it, snagging it in his talons and tugging away.
'No—' Katie scrunched her face up and shook her head '—bad bird, don't mess up my hair.' She reached up with her free hand and picked him up by the chest, setting him down on her knee as she sat in the long grass. 'That's better.'
He croaked at her, cocking his head to watch her silver hair shine and flutter.
'No…' His daughter patted her hair, smoothing the little braid at her temple down from the top to the little purple bow at the bottom. 'Stay there, Henri.'
Harry poked her in the leg with his beak.
'Say hi…' Katie plucked one battered, juicy red raspberry from her hand and waved it under his beak. 'Can you say hi, Henri?'
No, baby bird. If your maman learns you've befriended a talking raven, everything will be ruined. He watched the raspberry drift back and forth beneath his beak, little pangs of hunger stabbing through his stomach.
'Say hi….' Katie dangled.
Harry plucked it from her fingers and gobbled it down; the sweet rush eased the gnawing ache in his gut.
'Bad bird,' his daughter scolded, turning her nose up at him with a little huff.
His heart lurched. You are just like your maman, little chick.
Katie produced another raspberry. 'Say hi?'
Harry eyed it, estimating the distance from the tip of his beak.
'No, you have to say hi or no raspberry.' She drew it back a couple of inches. 'Don't snatch it.'
He tucked his beak under his wing.
'You're very stubborn, Monsieur Raven.' Katie giggled. 'Just one hi?' His daughter teased the fat, bright red raspberry closer.
Harry lunged for it, but she pulled it back from his beak with a little laugh.
'No you have to say hi, Henri.' Her big green eyes pleaded, tugging at him like a little red string looped about his ribs. 'Say hi for me. S'il te plaît.'
His heart melted into a small hot soft little puddle. 'Hi.'
Hello, baby bird.
Katie beamed, her eyes sparkling. 'You said it!' She held out the raspberry between her forefinger and thumb.
Harry grabbed it from her fingers and tossed his head back, swallowing the raspberry whole.
'Greedy bird.' His daughter opened her fist, extending the handful of bright juicy red fruits beneath his beak. 'Go on, you can eat all of them. I got them for you.'
He plucked them from her palm and gobbled them down one after the other, leaving her small hand smeared in red raspberry juice.
Katie watched him, but her smile faded and the green of her eyes darkened to pine. 'It's a good thing maman never comes here anymore,' she murmured, stroking the top of his head with one finger. 'She would try and scare you away. She doesn't want me to know anyone but her because then I might find out her stupid secrets.' Her fingertip brushed through his feathers, sending a little shiver through him. 'But you'll be my secret friend. And maman will never know so she doesn't get cross.'
She would be very cross, little chick. He wiped his beak clean in the long grass beside Katie's knee. But if she never comes here because this used to be the place we went, then maybe it can be our place instead.
'Maybe you can steal me one of maman's flowers instead of a daisy, Monsieur Raven.' His daughter's eyes darkened a little more. 'I want to see one. Maman never lets me get anywhere near them. And I still haven't got to meet my godmothers. I have three, all sisters; I wish I had two sisters to be friends with. Maman only reads me their letters and gives me the presents they buy me for my birthday. And she burns the letters afterward so I can't even see them again.'
My sisters. Harry swallowed the swell of the storm. I'm sure you'll meet them one day, baby bird. You're still only ten.
'It's like everything real's all far away,' Katie whispered. 'I'm stuck here and maman won't let me out. I'm not a part of all the real things where everyone else is.'
His heart sank. I'm sorry, mon petit ange. This is my fault. I ruined everything. Your maman is just trying to keep you safe. The yearning yanked at him, a searing sharp stab of need, and he pinned the form of the raven over his thoughts, forcing it to the forefront of his mind. Fleur won't keep you safe here forever, little chick. One day, when she thinks you're old enough, she'll let you go and see everything you want to see. She's just worried someone will hurt you again. Raw bitter guilt bubbled in his gut. Someone like me.
Katie wrapped her arms around her chest and released a long quiet sigh. 'It's not fair, Henri.'
No, it's not. I know.
Harry leapt from her knee and fluttered across the river, hopping through the long damp grass to a patch of daisies. He grabbed a stem with his beak and wrestled it free, snapping it off and flapping back over the rippling water.
Here you go. Harry landed on her shoulder and poked the stem into his daughter's silver hair. I can't give your maman flowers anymore like I promised I would, but I can give you flowers, baby bird.
A faint smile flitted across Katie's lips as she pulled the big white daisy from her hair and cupped it in her hands. 'I wish maman would just tell me. Or someone. Anyone.' The black bled from her irises as she clutched the flower to her chest. 'About my godmothers. And maman's flowers.'
She'll tell you when you're older. Harry leant his head against her cheek. I'm sure she will.
'I want to know about my papa,' she whispered. 'He was here when I was really little. I remember how he felt. His magic was so warm and bright and soft and strong and safe, like spending the whole day on the patio basking in the sun in summer.'
The storm snatched his heart away on winds of searing razor-sharp flame, but he let it go, let it sink down into the dark empty place at the eye of the screaming yearning and crumble into nothing. You deserve it. You ruined everything. Harry clung onto the image of the sleek glossy black feathers of the raven as the storm's searing winds shredded everything inside to ribbons. It can't be perfect like that. This is perfect enough.
'I think maman scared him away.' Katie twirled her daisy between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand. 'Tried to keep him here with only her. And he wanted to leave.'
No, little chick. Your maman just wants to keep you safe. Your papa is the monster. Harry tapped her on the collarbone with the tip of his beak and croaked at her. She'll tell you everything you need to know one day. She promised no more secrets too.
'She won't ever tell me. Just like she hasn't ever let me into her glasshouse. She doesn't even talk about him.' His daughter poked the flower's stem through the purple ribbon of the bow and shook her head, watching the white petals as they swayed back and forth. 'But when she teaches me magic and I have my own wand, then I'll be able to find out everything for myself.'
I'm sure your maman knows what you're planning, little chick. She always knew what I was thinking. He hopped off her shoulder and onto her knees, grabbing the bright purple ribbon in his beak as it drifted past him.
'No, that's pretty.' Katie flapped her hand at him. 'Don't eat that, silly bird. If you're hungry, I can find you more food.' She cocked her head, spilling silver hair over one shoulder. 'Maybe you can have some cake with me? Can birds eat cake? I'll check, I don't want you to eat something bad for you and be sick.'
I can eat cake, baby bird. A brief caw of laughter escaped Harry. Or I could, when your maman and Auntie Gabby actually let me.
His daughter scooped him up in her hands and put him down in the grass. 'I've got to go back. Maman said I had to tidy all my pencils and drawing books off the kitchen table before it was time for lunch.' She gave him a small wave. 'Au revoir, Monsieur Raven. Don't fly away forever please. I promise if you be my friend, I'll bring food and look after you nicely.'
Don't worry, little chick. Harry leapt from the grass and fluttered up into the willow branches as Katie trudged back up the slope toward the cherry blossom and the chateau. I'm not going anywhere.
AN: As everyone knows, this story is now finished for those can read the rough drafts and I'm a fair few chapters into the next one now! Follow the linktree for more...
linktr . ee / mjbradley