5

Felt like the day was never going to end, Edward thought as he shoved his football helmet under his arm and accepted the towel from Bella, who winked before looking over her shoulder at Jessica. She was being cruel, throwing their 'relationship' in the girl's face, and Edward loved every fucking minute of it.

Maybe that sounded mean, but Jessica Stanley had asked him out at least fifty times over the last eighteen months, and every single time, Edward said no, said he had plans with his family, and said he wasn't interested, yet she kept asking. And then today, she burst into tears every time she looked at him, glared every time she looked at Bella, and it was hilarious. The girl was seriously insane.

"Hit the showers," Carlisle said, and Edward looked over at him, finding his eyes locked on him. "And don't forget the game day dress code tomorrow. I don't want to see anyone in sweat pants or jeans. The way we present ourselves to our opponents speaks volume, gentlemen. Understood?"

"Yes sir," everyone murmured.

Edward used the towel to wipe his face and neck, waiting as the rest of the team headed immediately toward the locker rooms. He snuck a look at Carlisle, who was standing next to the other two coaches, listening to whatever Coach Clapp was blabbering on about, though he knew he wasn't really listening. He was watching him, always watching him.

"Be slow," Bella murmured, standing next to Edward and reaching for the towel. "We need to be the last ones out of here, and I'm pretty sure Jessica is planning on lurking around for a while, so just a heads up."

Edward laughed under his breath. "Yeah, okay."

Bella gave him a look before she walked away, and started helping Alice and Jessica pack up their equipment. Edward took his time as he walked across the field and into the locker room, where immediately he found Emmett, Jasper, Mike, Tyler, Eric, James, and Ben standing in front of his locker, their arms folded in front of them and smirks on their lips. Well, except for Ben. He was the only one who wasn't smirking. He was quiet, reserved. It was one of the reasons he and Angela were so perfect for each other; they just knew how to love without being flashy and showy. Edward always envied their connection; at least until he found himself connecting to Carlisle Cullen.

Edward bit back so many things he wanted to say, like why were they so invested in his 'relationship' with Bella Swan, or would they be as interested in his love life if they knew he craved the feel of Carlisle's cock in his mouth, or the way Carlisle's hands gripped his hips as he pushed himself into his ass. Great, now he was getting hard. Thankfully, his football pants hid his erection.

"I'm not telling you shit, so you might as well drop it." Edward dropped his helmet in in front of his locker and reached behind him to pull off his practice jersey.

"Dude, come on! You have to give us something," Newton snickered. "Bet her pussy is tight, ain't it?"

"I'm not talking about this, especially with you, Newton."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Edward scoffed, but didn't reply.

"Whatever, Masen. At least I don't have to chase some snobby bitch to get my dick wet."

"Shut your fucking mouth, Newton," Edward snarled, taking a step toward him, but stopping when Emmett, Ben, and Jasper pulled him backward and they heard someone clear their throat.

When they looked back, they found Carlisle standing in the doorway of his office, his arms folded in front of him and his eyes fixed on Edward, though that might just be his imagination.

"Problems, gentlemen?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked from Edward to Mike Newton and back. "Because fighting amongst ourselves is not going to help us win tomorrow."

"No sir. Everything's fine," Newton quipped, putting his hands up in front of him.

"Masen?" Carlisle asked.

"No, sir."

"That's what I thought. Get moving."

Edward glared at Mike Newton before he turned away and started removing the rest of his gear. He slammed them onto the ground and grabbed a towel before he hurried into the showers. He wasn't sure why Mike Newton talking about Bella like that pissed him off. They were barely friends, yet she was important to him, and not just because she was keeping his secret for him. No, she was the only person who really understood how he felt being a gay teenager, a gay teenager loving someone they shouldn't be in love with.

Edward wasn't stupid. Loving Carlisle was dangerous, and not just because the man was older and his teacher. He was controlling and dominating, and Edward loved every bit of it. He wanted Carlisle to own his body, to command him, to control him. It was hard enough being gay, but being gay and wanting someone to take ownership of your body was . . . Well, it was difficult, but Edward wanted to be dominate, and dominate by Carlisle Cullen, more than he'd ever wanted anything, or anyone before.

By the time Edward was done in the shower, only Emmett, Jasper, and Ben were in the locker rooms. The three stopped talking when he walked out of the showers, which just confirmed that they had been talking about him and his relationship with Bella Swan. He cleared his throat before he walked over to his locker, and grabbed his clothes out, laying them on the bench behind him.

"Just ask already," he told them before he turned and faced all three of them.

"You and Swan?" Emmett asked. "I mean, you and Swan?"

"Why do you keep saying her name like that? What's wrong with Bella?"

"Nothing," Emmett replied quickly. "I mean I like Bella. She's nice and funny and sarcastic, but she's . . . Well, she's kind of a bitch, too."

"No, she's not." Edward shook his head, and when they started to speak, he put his hand up in front of him and said, "She's not, okay? She's . . . I just . . . I like her, all right?"

"It's not that we don't like her," Jasper said.

"Yeah, I mean, she's our friend," Ben added with a nod. "But like three days ago, you were barley seen with her, and suddenly, you're holding her hand and shit. Just . . . When did you two even start talking?"

"This summer," he lied. "Ran into her in Port Angeles one day. She, um, she had a flat on her truck, and I helped her fix it. She insisted on repaying me by buying me pizza. We started talking on the phone, sending texts, or whatever, but we weren't ready to take our relationship public until last night."

"Guess that makes sense." Jasper grabbed his backpack off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. "Alice is waiting for me, but for what it's worth, Edward, we think it's about time you let someone in your life. We were starting to think you swung the other way, if you catch my drift."

Ben and Emmett laughed as they grabbed their backpacks and followed Jasper out of the locker room. Edward turned and sat on the bench, placing his hands on his knees. Any doubt he had about how they'd feel if they knew the truth about him had just been confirmed. There was no way he'd be able to come out of the closet so to speak anytime soon. They would never accept that he was gay.

"You okay?"

Edward looked over his shoulder, finding Carlisle leaning against the doorframe of his office again. Unlike when they were normally alone, he wasn't fucking him with his eyes, something that worried Edward. Had Carlisle finally reached his limit?

"I heard what they said about you 'swinging the other way'," he added, tilting his head toward the door. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged his shoulder and stood up and put his underwear and jeans on before tossing his towel in the pile with the rest of them. He grabbed his shirt as he said, "I don't know. I just . . . I hate that I can't be honest with my friends about . . . about you, about who I really am, how I feel. Bella gets it, though. She knows what it's like to have to hide who you are because people won't understand, and the people we love aren't ready for people to know about us."

"It's not that I don't want people to know that I'm gay, Edward. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality, I just —"

But the sound of the door to the locker room creaking just before it was pulled open and Carlisle spun and stepped into his office, his door closing just moments before the door to the locker room was yanked open and Jessica Stanley stood there, her eyes red and puffy from where she had spent the day crying over him. He would have felt bad had he given her any type of encouragement, but he hadn't and he didn't understand why she was taking him being 'off the market' so hard.

"Oh, hey, Edward," she whimpered, her chin wobbling before she grabbed the hem of her shirt, her eyes flickering around the room for a moment. "I thought you had already left."

"Nope," he said, pulling his shirt on and grabbing his shoes. He sat on the bench and pulled on his socks followed by his shoes. "I'm sorry, Jess, if I made you think I had feelings for you."

"Yeah," she whispered, nodding. "You did, though, you know? Made me think you . . . you liked me. Like really liked me."

"How did I?"

"I mean, you always said hi to me, always smiled at me," she said, giving him a look. "You shouldn't encourage girls if you're not being honest, Edward. It's not . . . It's not fair, you know?"

"Me smiling or saying hi is not me flirting with you, Jessica. It's not my fault you can't accept no for an answer." Edward closed his locker and grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder before he turned and walked over to her. "I didn't lead you on, Jessica. Don't put that shit on me."

He stepped around her and outside, where he found Bella leaning against the side of the building. She raised an eyebrow before stretching her hand out to him, which he immediately accepted. When the two walked out to the parking lot, she groaned when she saw her father leaning against the side of his police car. Charlie Swan pushed away from his car, his eyes shifting from his daughter to him, his eyes narrowing on their joined hands.

Edward wasn't a huge fan of Charlie Swan, seeing as the man had been called to his house on at least three separate occasions when neighbors heard his mother screaming for mercy and his father not giving her an ounce of compassion. Every time his mother insisted that she was fine, clumsy and uncoordinated, that she'd gotten the black eye when she walked into the door, or broke her arm when she fell down the stairs. Charlie just nodded and left, nodded and left, nodded and left his mother in the hands of his father. So, no Edward wasn't a fan of Charlie fucking Swan.

"Great, just fucking great," she muttered under her breath. "I'd better handle this. Alone. Pick me up in half an hour, okay?"

"Bella," Edward said, shaking his head. "Are you sure? He looks pissed. Like really pissed."

"It'll be fine. Just . . ." Bella looked over at her father before turning and looking back at him. "I'm sorry about this."

But before he could ask what she was sorry about, Bella leaned up and pressed her lips against his. Edward felt his eyes widened, but just as quickly as her lips touched his, she tore them away and turned and walked over to her father, throwing her hands up as she said, "You told him I would go out with him, Dad? I told you no!"

Charlie glared at Edward before he wrapped his fingers around the top of Bella's arm. He took a step toward them, but when Bella ripped her arm out of his grasp, she threw him a look that said not to interfere. She climbed into the front seat of her father's car, earning him another glare from Charlie Swan before he walked around and climbed in behind the wheel. Though Edward couldn't hear what they were saying, it didn't take a genius to know she was giving her father a piece of her mind, which Charlie was giving right back based on the pissed off look on his face.

Edward waited until her father pulled out of the parking lot before he climbed into his own car, tossing his backpack into the backseat. He shoved his keys in the ignition when he saw Carlisle walk out of the football stadium, pausing as he dug his keys out of his pocket. He looked up, right at Edward, smiling just briefly before he turned and walked over to his truck, climbing in behind the wheel and pulling out of the parking lot.

—S&S—

Half an hour later, Edward found himself parked in front of Bella's house once again, and once again, she was out the front door before he could even attempt to get out of the car. She hurried down the front steps, yanking the passenger door open and climbing in just as her father followed her out of the house.

"Go, Edward. Just . . . just fucking go."

"Did he hurt you?"

Bella laughed and lobbed her head in his direction. "He may be an asshole, but he's not an abusive asshole, Edward. Physically, at least. Just . . . just go, please."

Edward nodded and shifted into drive before he pulled away from the curb and headed toward Carlisle and Esme's house. "You kissed me."

Once again, she laughed. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just . . . I just wanted to piss him more than he already was and knew that if he saw me kiss you, and not Jacob Black, it would piss him off. Like really piss him off."

"I'm guessing Jacob Black informed your father that your date with him had been canceled."

Bella scoffed. "Yep."

"Why does he want you and Jacob together so badly? I mean, why Jacob?"

"I wish I knew." She looked at him. "He thinks I'm so undesirable that I'm going to end up alone."

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words, but he thinks I'm being too picky, that I need a man to take care of me because I'm so fucking helpless. Mind you, he doesn't know how to wash laundry, or use the oven, but I'm the helpless one." Bella rolled her eyes and looked out the passenger window. "He doesn't know that I'm a lesbian, and if he did, he would never speak to me again. He's never hidden how he feels about homosexuality, and if he knew . . . Well, while he makes me mad, and he thinks the only person who would ever want me is Jacob Black, I'm not ready to lose my father, Edward."

"I understand."

She looked at him. "You do?"

Edward nodded. "My dad."

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Sucks? Yes, but not for the same reasons as you."

"Then why?"

Edward turned onto county road echo, and used his pinky to turn his brights on. "As soon as I graduate, I'm leaving town. The only reason I'm still here is Carlisle, Bella."

"You could just leave like that? What about your mom?"

Edward didn't reply as he turned into the long dirt driveway and pull up behind a black, Kia Sorrento. He shifted into park but looked over at her. "She's . . . she chooses to keep him around, Bella. I've begged her to kick him out, begged her to let him go. He . . . he's an asshole, who thinks she's nothing more than a punching bag."

"Does he hit you, too?"

Edward shook his head. "He knows I'll fight back."

"And if you told him that you were gay, would he still know that you'll fight back?"

"Yes, but then he'll take his disappointment out on her, and I can't . . . I can't have that on my conscience right now."

"And after we graduate, you'll be able to handle it then?"

"Probably not, but I'll have him. As long as I have him, Bella, I'll spend the rest of my life in the arms of someone who . . . who loves me for me, and that I can live with."

"It doesn't scare you? Loving him so deeply that you'd give up everything for him?"

"Loving him doesn't scare me. Losing him terrifies me."

"Losing her scares me, too."

Edward inhaled a deep breath. "Are you ready to go inside?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I am, Edward."

As the two of them climbed out of the car and headed up to the front porch, the door opened and Carlisle and Esme stepped out onto the porch. Edward had never seen his wife before. She was beautiful, he could admit. She was taller than Bella, with soft curves and long, caramel hair, and bright eyes that were locked on Bella. For a moment he felt a ping of jealousy when he watched her standing next to him, but then she smiled and hurried down the porch, wrapping her arms around Bella, pressing her lips against hers.

Carlisle laughed and walked down the front steps, stopping in front of him. He brought his hands up to his face, his fingers cradling him gently before he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss against his lips.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"I missed you, too."

Carlisle took a step backward, his eyes shifting to Esme and Bella first. "I think . . . I think we should take this inside."

With murmured agreements, the four of them headed into house and as the door closed, Edward wondered if there would ever come a time when he could be with Carlisle without being afraid that the last time was going to be their last time.

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