Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale

by Vergil Creiger

In which a simple delivery to Holfort goes horribly horribly wrong.

4. The Merchant of Darhan

The second Leaf I was able to track down didn't have the historical significance of the first, but still holds the distinction of having the most intact record amongst the four. For reference, this is the clue:

Garments woven from silk strands

Carried far from foreign lands

On road forgotten in city of old

A greystone hearth against the cold

Be I not here and hour be late

Thy treasure lies within mine gate

This seems to refer to a contemporary Darhanish merchant by the name of Jinyan, who was quickly identified by those among the populace greedy for honours given by the King. When he claimed ignorance they burned his home and unjustly imprisoned him, where he remained until a dear friend arranged his escape. It just so happens that Jinyan returned to his home country in time to escape the wave of amnesia, which I feel should have its own name. Let's call it the Blank. It just so happened that I was able to track him down, and received from him a first hand account of his liberation.

You can probably guess who it was.

Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale, by Lufas Maphaahl

"Is this the right place?" Leon grumbled, tripping and swearing suddenly. Iven rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure," he said dryly. "I've lived in this city for a very long time. Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

They were in a part of Holfort referred to as the Old City, which was the first thing built when the land was colonised by Julius and Roland's ancestors. The buildings were faded and grey, sagging under the weight of centuries of decay. The Holfort gentry had abandoned the district for wealthier land, and now the only people living here were the beggars, thieves and whores of the city's seedy underbelly.

They fit right in.

"All I'm saying is that this is a fairly unlikely place to meet a merchant. You agree with me, right?"

The freezing cold axe - tucked into Leon's belt at his right hip - wobbled slightly in place.

"See!"

"That could mean anything," Iven insisted. "People have been assigning meanings to the things I say for years, and they're always wrong!"

Leon just smiled. "I wasn't." Just a little, Iven smiled back.

"I suppose you weren't."

A man with an eyepatch brushed past; Leon grabbed his arm and snapped it before retrieving his stolen wallet, not even bothering to look at him. They were left alone after that. "So you've been here before, right? You've actually seen it?"

"I have. It has a very… distinctive…"

Iven trailed off as the smell of burning filled their nostrils. The merchant's house was a charred ruin, the blackened beams protruding outward like scorched bones as smoke frothed upward into the sky. Iven ran through the front gate - which was composed of two artisanal pillars with free standing stones at their peaks - and began to rummage through the wreckage, screaming his friend's name.

"Jinyan! Jinyan, can you hear me?"

Leon grabbed him by the arm and held him in place; he drew the axe with his right hand, holding it out to the scalding hot beams. He didn't even need to touch them, the magic of the axe instantly cooling them from proximity alone. "You need to be careful," he said quietly. "These are still hot. You could hurt yourself."

"Is someone there?" A dark skinned man in a sleeveless green tunic picked his way across the rubble towards them, old enough that his cropped hair and beard were completely white. Though his belly was round his arms were strong and muscular, and he looked like he was ready to fight them if he had to. "I'm warning you, if you had anything to do with this… Iven? Is that you?"

"Aravind!" blurted Iven. "Are you okay? Have you seen Jinyan?"

"I-I'm fine," Aravind stuttered. "It's just… You can talk?"

"Oh, right!" Iven had apparently already forgotten his tragic backstory. "Aravind, this is Leon. He broke my curse. Leon, this is Aravind. He's a mutual friend of Jinyan's."

"Hi," waved Leon. "How's it going?"

"Uh… fine?" Much like everyone else, Aravind seemed totally unprepared for Crazy Iven hold the Crazy. The way they reacted was as if the sky had suddenly thought blue wasn't its colour and had decided to try being green instead. "What… Uh… What brings you here?"

"We're looking for Jinyan," said Iven quickly. "Is he okay? What happened here?"

"I've been trying to figure that out myself," admitted Aravind. "Last night a mob burned down his house and dragged him off to parts unknown. No one's seen him since."

"Does anyone know what triggered it?" Leon asked curiously. He knew where Jinyan was thanks to a certain quest from the original game, but why he was actually incarcerated never came up.

"Sorry, but no," Aravind shrugged helplessly. "It could be because of his race, his nationality, his religion… maybe something to do with the gangs? Maybe? Jinyan was fairly well liked, even by criminals. This doesn't make sense!"

Iven was now starting to hyperventilate, and even the axe was shifting nervously in his hand. Leon just gave them his best smile. "Don't worry about a thing," he said, with feeling. "I'll take care of it."

He strode off without another word, walking to Jinyan's current location in as much of a straight line as the winding streets allowed.

The roads intersected in an abandoned square littered with heaps of trash. It was dominated by an enormous keep, which quite fittingly was named The Keep. When the city was young they called it the Eastkeep, and it acted as the seat of power for the Kings of old. Now it was merely a prison, filled with madmen, outlaws, vagabonds, traitors and who even knew how many thieves.

Leon waved to the man standing guard as though he'd known him for years. "Gorbus! How's things?"

The guard gave him an intensely suspicious look. "How do you know my name?"

"Is Jinyan here?"

This made the man pause. "Yes!" he exclaimed, the disbelief clear on his face. "How did you know that?"

"I just did." By now Iven and Aravind had caught up; the former already exhausted, his desiccated body struggling to withstand even the slightest exertion. "I don't suppose you know why he's here, do you?"

Gorbus looked around nervously, then leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper. "Do you know about the Oak Leaf Contest?"

"I know of it."

"Well apparently, the King's been sending people to stash them all over the city for weeks now. The Warden caught word that one of his men was spotted lurking around the foreigners house and figured he was hiding one of them there metal whatchamacallits; he told him to hand it over and he refused, so he's holding onto him until he spills the beans."

Leon frowned, remembering the music box and its lacklustre reception at the opening ceremony. It seemed like too much effort for too little payoff. "Is the prize really that special?"

Gorbus just scoffed. "Of course not! He doesn't care about the prize; what he wants are the honours that come with it! The Warden hates his job. Thinks it's beneath him. A little royal recognition might be just what he needs to move up in the world."

This complicated matters: Leon's original plan had been to procure a forged release order, then to bribe Gorbus into accepting it. Jinyan would have been released under cover of darkness, whereupon Aravind and his friends would have spirited him out of the city.

He now realised that the whole reason this had been possible in the game was because the Oak Leaf Contest was long over with. His guess was that the Warden had kept Jinyan imprisoned out of spite, then forgotten about him by the time the protagonist sprung him free. Since the Contest was still ongoing he would be paying much closer attention, and Gorbus probably wouldn't be able to get Jinyan out without the Warden interfering.

Plan B it was then. Shit!

"Isn't there a way you can help us?" begged Aravind. "Jinyan was kind and generous to many people! I know you owe him too!"

"I don't owe anyone anything," Gorbus grunted, though he was guiltily avoiding Aravind's gaze. "Least of all some foreigner."

"Don't you care what happens to him? About what's right and what's wrong?"

"Not enough to jeopardise my job."

"That's not what you told me."

Even from behind his visor, Leon could see Gorbus' eyes bugging out of his head. "Crazy Iven? But… you can't…"

"You and your friends used to throw rocks at me when you were children, remember?" There was something hypnotic about the tone of Iven's voice. The guard was transfixed by his solemn gaze. "One day you told them to stop. You said you were going to be a hero, like your father, and that you would never allow anyone to bully the weak again. What changed?"

"Nothing changed!" snapped Gorbus, suddenly flaring with rage. "I did it! I became a guard! I keep my people safe!"

"Is Jinyan not one of your people?"

This left Gorbus stricken and unable to talk back. It seemed as good a time as ever for Leon to intervene.

"Can you get me put into Jinyan's block?"

"What?"

"If you arrest me, can you arrange for me to be thrown into the same block as Jinyan?"

For a moment Gorbus just stood there, blinking in confusion. "I mean, I guess I could-"

"Great!" Leon interrupted. "Wait here!" He dragged Iven and Aravind away from the Keep, quickly unstrapping his gauntlets. "Aravind, if I get Jinyan out of here, will he be safe at your house?"

Aravind looked just as confused as Gorbus. "I mean, yes, but-"

"Iven, do you know the way to Aravind's house?"

"I do," nodded Iven. The only thing Leon saw in his eyes was absolute trust. "What do you need me to do?"

By now Leon had removed both his gauntlets and shoved them into Aravind's hands. Then he looped the bastard sword off his back and gave him that as well, along with the supernaturally cold axe. "Take these to your house, stash them where they won't be found and wait for me. I'll bring you Jinyan."

"Okay," he squeaked, looking more than a little overwhelmed. "But how though?"

"Just trust me." He turned back to Iven. "There should be an abandoned house not far from here that everyone says is haunted. Do you know where it is?"

"I do."

"Do you know a safe path from there to Aravind's place?"

"I do."

"Good. Wait across the street and watch the door."

"Got it."

Aravind watched in utter bewilderment as Iven walked away, apparently not needing any kind of context at all. "Do you not want him to explain?" He looked back at Leon to ask for details, but he was already striding back to the Keep.

"Gorbus?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry."

"For wha-"

Leon punched him in the face before he could finish his sentence. He hadn't used his Strongarm to avoid tearing the man's head off, but it still sent him staggering backward. "Don't just stand there, you asshole! Hit me back!" Gorbus clocked him in the jaw, sending him falling painfully onto the dirty ground. "Keep going!" Leon hissed. "Make it look real!"

Gorbus began violently stomping on him - mostly because he just didn't like being called an asshole - until two more guards came rushing out to stop him. "Stop right there!" one of them barked. Since it was his superior officer speaking, he listened. "What the hell are you doing to that poor man?"

Wisely, he decided honesty was the best policy. "He just ran up and punched me!"

"Why?"

"I have no idea!"

His superior frowned down at Leon, who was making a show of lying limp and moaning in pain. "He's probably drunk," he decided. "Drag him inside. Let him spend the night in a cell."

It was then that Leon opened his eyes, catching Gorbus' gaze and giving him a quick wink before sneakily closing them. "I'll do it," he blurted. "I'll take him."

Later he wouldn't be able to remember how exactly he convinced him to leave Leon in his hands. All he remembered was dragging him by the foot through the halls of the Keep, attempting to be casual when responding to the calls of the guards and prisoners. The walls were far enough apart for three grown men to stand shoulder to shoulder, and were a pale, sickly yellow.

Reluctantly he did as Leon asked, dumping him in a dim grey cell. "There," he grunted. "You're in Block A like you wanted. I'm done."

"Thank you," murmured Leon, just loud enough for him to hear. "I'll take it from here."

"This had better not come back on me," he warned. "If it does I'll kill you, or my name isn't Gorbus Corkus!"

This actually made Leon lift his head and stare. "Oh god, is it?"

Gorbus slammed the door and stormed off. Leon lay prone until someone entered the cell, crouching down to investigate. Before he could react Leon had grabbed him and pinned him, using Strongarm to bend his shoulders and grab him from an unnatural angle.

"Don't fucking talk," Leon hissed, inches from the man's ear. The man had no hair on his head to speak of - not even eyebrows - and because of their close proximity Leon could tell that he'd already pissed himself.

"Don't kill me!" the man sobbed. "Please, god, don't kill me!"

"Shut up!" Leon snarled. He bared his teeth in an attempt to seem more threatening, causing the prisoner to soil himself. "You have two choices. Option One: I use my thumbs to gouge out your eyes, then I crack your skull open like a coconut and eat your brains. Do you want me to do that?"

The man just whimpered.

"Option Two: you tell me where I can find Jinyan."

"Go left!" he squealed. "Straight left! He's in Cell A32!"

That rang a bell. "Cell A32?"

"Yes!"

"As in the Torture Twins?"

"Yes!"

"Fuck!" Leon leapt to his feet and tore out of his cell, already able to hear the screams coming from behind the massive locked door. He ignored the few guards who called out to him, advancing on the door with his fists clenched.

"Hey! Fresh meat!" a nondescript prisoner remarked. "You curious about the Twins? Don't worry, I'm sure they'll make time for-"

Leon punched the door at full force; it didn't leave a dent but the walls of the prison shook, loose dust falling from the ceiling. He ignored the guards and prisoners as they began to cower, looking at the knuckles of his right hand. Without the protective gauntlets the skin had torn, smearing his fingers with blood.

The screams continued undaunted.

Leon muttered a strengthening spell, causing white magical circles to float around his biceps and forearms. At unimaginable speeds he began to punch the door, the ground splintering beneath his feet. The entire Keep echoed with the noise, the machine gun rate of his fists slowly warping the thick metal.

Although he wasn't able to destroy the door he was able to bend and twist it to point where it no longer fit in its frame, and by the time he stopped punching and yanked it off its hinges it bore a strong resemblance to a prawn cracker or a poppadom.

"Jinyan! I'm here to save… you?"

Two identical middle aged men (presumably the Torture Twins) were lying on the floor; they had been stripped naked, their clothes torn into makeshift rope that hogtied them in place. An antique record player sat on an ugly wooden stool, and was the source of the horrific screams that had greeted Leon as he left his cell. An Asian man was sitting on an uncomfortable looking bed, staring at him in surprise with a dry biscuit sticking out of his mouth and an open book on Alzerian vegetable dishes in his hands.

He took a moment to chew it up and swallow. "Well!" he said when he was done. "I do apologise, but I seem to have rescued myself!"

"Shit," said Leon. "This is embarrassing."

The man was more beautiful than most women could ever dream of being, with soft, gentle features lit by a pair of luminescent golden eyes. His white hair was pointlessly long - as in it would have hung to his waist if he were standing up - and even then mostly tied in a bun, with two extending to his bangs. Instead of actual Asian clothing of any variety he was wearing expensive black trousers with matching dress shoes, along with a white dress shirt left partially open to expose his intimidatingly ripped chest.

It was actually a little disappointing; Leon had been hoping that he was from a counterpart to Japanese culture and that he would be wearing the appropriate clothing, but Jinyan had apparently gone completely native.

He had a single beauty spot at the corner of his left eye, and long, womanly lashes. He was honestly more good looking than all the male leads combined.

"Why the hell aren't you the main character?"

Jinyan just looked at him in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Not important." Leon allowed himself to sigh in relief, relaxing as the merchant pulled himself to his feet. "I was sent to help by… by a mutual friend." Leon was keenly aware that there were people behind him who he didn't want knowing Aravind's name.

He'll be glad to know you're alright."

"I see." He could tell from his smile that Jinyan had already guessed who sent him. "Then let us be introduced. I am Jinyan: merchant, confidant and prisoner. What might I call you?"

Leon wanted the guards learning his name even less than he wanted them knowing Aravind's. "You can call me… Strongarm, let's say." He shook his head, making an effort to ignore the sounds of shouting guards rapidly approaching behind him. "Are you ready to go?"

The merchant's smile wavered. Leon was getting used to people giving him confused looks. "You mean… You mean as in… from the prison?"

"Right now, yes." Someone began shouting at them to get down on the ground, but Leon just rolled his eyes and pulled the ruined door as closed as he could. Holfort had an odd custom that swords were for men while guns were for women, which meant that none of them had anything to shoot at him with before he obstructed their line of sight. "I have a plan and it involves violence. Would you like to join me?"

"Uh…" They could tell from the shouting that there was now a sizable force gathered in the hallway. "I was thinking something with a little more subtlety. We just spend a few months observing the guards' routines, then-"

"Hold that thought." Leon backhanded the door off its hinges, immediately sending it flying into the crowd of unprepared guards. He ducked out and leapt straight over the fallen guards, running past the cell where Gorbus had dumped him. "This way! Follow me!"

Jinyan made a garbled noise of frustration and surprise, but peer pressure and curiosity made him give chase. The hall curved left, then right, then left up a flight of stairs. Leon had led him to a small yard where prisoners enjoyed a brief taste of fresh air, the noon sun painting the structures above them a harsh shade of yellow. A huge metal lid sat in the middle, a cable in the centre attached to a walkway on the upper level.

"This is the entrance to the Pit," Leon explained. "It's where they throw people when no other punishment's bad enough. It's also our ticket out of here."

"Perfect!" Jinyan's smile was now slightly strained, and he clearly wished he had stayed with the Twins. "How do we get it open? Are you going to yank the cable up with your super strength?"

"I don't actually have super strength," admitted Leon. "I'll do this instead." He began rapidly punching the ground around the rim of the lid; because his strengthening spell was still active the concrete crumbled like old cake, allowing him to grab the rim and heave. With a great roar of exertion he yanked it upward, his arms, legs and back screaming with pain. Jinyan just stared in utter disbelief. "Don't just stand there, jackass! Get in the fucking Pit!"

The merchant jerked into motion, stylishly sliding into the Pit as guards began flooding into the yard. Leon really wanted to flip them the bird but the lid was just too heavy, forcing him to basically fold and collapse into the hole as the lid slammed deafeningly behind him.

Gorbus stood on a walkway overlooking the yard, scowling behind his visor. "Goddamn piece of shit! That guy was a fucking menace!"

"I'll say."

Gorbus almost screamed when two of his friends popped up behind him. "Holy mother of goodgodammit! Wear a fucking bell!"

"Jeez, dude, chill. We just got a message from Guts."

"Guts?" Gorbus blinked. "What about?"

"Griffith's uncle died. He wants to know if we want to attend the funeral."

"I mean sure, if there's a buffet."

They landed in the dark, Jinyan on his feet and Leon on his face. "Ow," he croaked, pulling himself painfully to his feet. They were standing in a small patch of sunlight, which was filtering through a grate in the lid above them. The floor was made of metal sheets that had been shoddily attached together, while the walls were just rough, uncovered rock. It was very, very dark, and neither of them had a light.

"Holy cow!" someone said above them. "I think they survived the fall!"

"Don't worry," responded someone else. "The dwellers will take care of what gravity missed."

Jinyan gave Leon a sharp look. "Dwellers?"

"Don't worry about it."

They began to move through the concrete halls, their only light coming from a thin stream of luminous goo visible through the grates below their feet. Jinyan's heart leapt into his mouth when the first of the naked humanoids lurched out of the darkness; their bodies were pink and emaciated, reminding them both of Crazy Iven, and their eyes were completely black.

Only Leon knew this, but it was actually an adaptation for seeing in sparse light.

"What the hell are these things?" On top of his general eloquence and good looks, Jinyan was apparently an expert in kung fu. He was throwing and kicking away any dweller that got close to him, and appeared to have eyes in the back of his head. "Are they humans? Monsters?"

"Definitely one or the other!" Leon would have shrugged, but he was too busy spinning his arms at impossible angles and speeds to launch the creatures away. Without Strongarm he would have been toast. "Try and make some noise! We need to attract the Head Takers!"

Jinyan gave him another alarmed look. "The what?"

"Apex predators!" The waves of dwellers had backed them into a corner, Leon's muscles were starting to ache. He was starting to remember that this was Kendo Rappa's weakness as well. "They used to infest the top levels of the dungeon until their spawn points were blocked off! If we can get their attention-"

Without warning, a creature out of nightmares appeared from the dark. It had knobbly, mottled green skin and tiny forward facing eyes, with massive jaws lined with serrated teeth. Its muscular body was supported by two legs with no other limbs, its long claws skittering across the floor as a long, prehensile tail swished behind it.

A series of blunt horns left a trail down its spine, ending at a natural pouch between its shoulders. There was nestled a second, much younger creature; with a snarl it leapt off its parent's back and wrapped its tail around a dweller's neck, dragging it violently across the ground. The nude humanoid immediately began to choke, kicking and screaming as the monster brutally throttled it.

With a last flick of its tail the dweller's head was torn clean off, landing neatly in the larger beast's mouth. The infant crawled back into its pouch as it finished chewing, and as soon as it finished swallowing it roared and lunged.

Six more emerged from the shadows, and the massacre began.

"Oh good," said Leon mildly, as if this were not at all horrifying and would not in any way haunt his nightmares. "I was starting to think they'd never show up."

Jinyan's eyes were wide and panicked. "Wait, this is part of the plan?"

"Yep."

"You called them Head Takers, Leon! Head! Takers!"

"It's actually a bit of a misnomer. They're not after heads, they're after brains." By now the dwellers were almost completely wiped out, and some of the Head Takers were starting to eye them hungrily.

"Oh, great! Because the name Braineaters is so much more family friendly!"

"Specifically they're after something called Phenylalanine, which I can't believe I remembered the name for. It appears mostly in brains but also appears in something else." Leon ignored the snarling monstrosities and rooted through his pockets, pulling something out and holding it over his head. "Who wants chocolate?"

The Head Takers froze, the eyes of the adults and infants alike focusing on the innocuous bar of chocolate. Some of their tails began to thump against the ground as Leon unwrapped it.

"You have got to be kidding me."

The creatures began to croon, gathering around his legs and butting their heads against him in hopes of treats. "You guys are just so cute!" Leon cooed. He suddenly remembered Jinyan was staring at him and tossed him another bar. "Go on, feed them. You only have to do it once and they'll never attack you again."

Jinyan did as he said, allowing the Head Takers to eat the chocolate after breaking it into bits. One of the adults shoved the others away to give him some room, allowing the younglings to lick his hands clean. "If this is all it takes to win them over, why did they bother blocking these things off?"

"Because they're terrifying."

"Ah. Silly me."

"The adults sleep by dangling from their tails, keeping their backs against the wall; this means that if they're attacked while they're vulnerable, the child can use them as a living shield. They're loyal, loving, and some of the most intelligent and empathetic living things you'll ever meet." He wrapped his arms around one of the adults, allowing it to affectionately nuzzle his cheek. "You are just so cute! So cute!"

"How are these things cute?" The biggest and scariest of the Head Takers had been butting its head against his palm; he absentmindedly began to scratch its chin. It had been whimpering like a puppy, but this made it switch to purring like a kitten. The tip of its tail began to thump against the floor, and one of its legs began to kick helplessly. "Okay, I guess they are kind of cute."

"We're looking for a way out of here," said Leon. The entire Head Taker pack gave him their undivided attention, and Jinyan suddenly realised that they could understand human speech. "There should be a ladder around here leading upward. Do any of you know where it is?"

There was a clamour of excited croons, which Leon clearly interpreted as a yes. They began to lead the two men through the tunnels, occasionally descending into ravenous fury whenever they stumbled across an unlucky dweller.

"What I don't understand," remarked Jinyan. "Is why they become so loyal after only a few pieces of chocolate."

Leon looked at him as if wondering why he couldn't figure out the answer on his own. "Have you ever tried brains, Jinyan?"

"Uh… no?"

"Do you know how brains taste?"

"I feel a little sick now-"

"They taste fucking disgusting! No one in their right mind would eat them when they could have a perfectly decent piece of chocolate instead! There are people who think that brains are a delicacy and they should be banned from the gene pool!"

The Head Taker trundling along next to him huffed as if in agreement.

"You… You certainly have strong opinions about this."

"I once had to have dinner with my dad's legal wife's family. They served us brains and we had to eat all of it because they have us financially over a barrel."

"How did they taste?"

"Undercooked."

"Ew."

They arrived at a rusty ladder, which extended up into the blackness. Leon's face was sober and grim. "I'm not looking forward to this."

"Why? What's at the top?"

"Skeletons, but they're super weak. I actually meant saying goodbye to the Head Takers." He wrapped as many of them in a hug as he could, burying his face in their necks. "I miss them already. I want to bring one home with me, but I could never afford enough chocolate to keep it fed."

"Big baby!" Jinyan snorted. He gave Big Scary one last pat on the nose; he almost promised to come back and visit, only to remember that the Warden was still after him and he would probably need to flee the country. Suddenly, he regretted giving it a name.

"Let's just go," muttered Leon. "The longer we wait the harder it gets." He led the way up the long ladder, and when he was halfway up Jinyan looked back to see them watching him go. He waved, getting a chorus of trills in response, and noted that they had very beautiful voices.

When he reached the top he found Leon was already waiting for him; he was already being attacked by the skeletons, who were biting his arms while obviously being too weak to pierce the skin. "Ignore them," he grunted. "Let's get out of here."

They were in an old basement with the trademark architecture of the Old City, which was covered in dust and cobwebs. Jinyan would usually be worried about getting them in his hair, but Leon was dragging the skeletons around behind him and getting thoroughly tangled up in his place. They arrived on the decrepit ground floor, where a few meagre beams of light were peeping through the boarded windows.

"Are you ready?" Leon's gravitas was slightly ruined by the skeletons still frustratedly gumming at his arms. Jinyan just smiled, perhaps a little more genuinely than earlier.

"As I'll ever be."

Leon opened the front door, the skeletons immediately disintegrating in the sunlight. "Iven!" he whisper-shouted. "Over here!"

Jinyan's eyebrows disappeared beneath his hairline as Crazy Iven ran up to greet them, shoving some old grey cloaks into their hands. "Put these on. You don't want the Warden's men spotting you."

"Iven?" blinked Jinyan. "You can talk?" He got a wry grin in return.

"I've been asked that a lot recently," he chuckled. "Come on. Aravind is waiting for us."

He needn't have bothered, as the Warden seemed to have assumed that they had died in the Pit. There were no search parties that they encountered, and the trip to Aravind's place was uneventful. Conveniently, it was directly across the street from the burnt wreckage of Jinyan's shop. Or house. One of the two.

"Jinyan!" Aravind blurted. He threw his arms around the startled merchant, tears and snot pouring out of his face like a gross waterfall. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

To his credit, if the liquid boogers disgusted him then it didn't show on his face. "Same." Leon looked around for his things, which Aravind had dumped on his couch in a pile. "Wait, you had weapons? This entire time? Why did you leave them here?"

"Didn't need them." The freezing axe nuzzled Leon's hand as he tucked it into his belt, while the bastard sword he slung across his back. "I already had the deadliest weapons in Holfort: Lefty and Knuckles!"

Iven noticed that he raised his right fist when he said Lefty. "Is Lefty the one on the right?"

"Yes."

"That's… O-okay."

Leon picked up his gauntlets, plucking out the Copper Oak hidden in the sleeve. "I'm so glad I didn't bring this with me."

Aravind just looked at it in shock. His face twisted in betrayal. "So you just wanted the Oak Leaf? Just like the Warden?"

"Yep." Leon began strapping his gauntlets back onto his arms.

"You really went to all that trouble to save Jinyan, just for some Leaf?"

Leon gave him an odd look, halfway through buckling his second gauntlet. "You think I- Aravind, he doesn't know where it is."

"He's right," said Jinyan, who was curious to see where this was going. "I don't."

"The clue didn't say that he had the Leaf, or even that it was in the building. It said, specifically, that it was in the gate."

Now fully suited up, Leon walked out through the front door and across the street, picking up one of the standing stones from one of his gate posts and looking underneath it. After a few seconds he replaced it and did the same thing on the other side; this time his face lit up when he found what he was looking for.

He dumped the stone on the ground, plucking the Copper Oak Leaf out of a small alcove hidden beneath. He strolled back to Aravind's house, grinning like a loon. "Halfway there!"

"The gate?" Aravind whispered.

"Then why did you help me?" Jinyan asked. "It feels like an unnecessary risk."

"It was in the FUCKING gate?"

Leon just gave him a funny look. "Well I couldn't just do nothing, could I?"

Slowly, incredulously, Jinyan started to laugh.

"This entire time?"

"Yes, the entire time!"

"I don't… t-then what are you going to get if you find the last two?"

"A music box."

Even Crazy Iven did a double take then. "A music box?"

"A nice music box!" Leon said defensively.

"I-I don't… Why a music box?"

"Hey, my Mom is going to love that music box. Then you'll see! Then you'll ALL see!"

Jinyan lost it. He laughed; not one of the demure laughs he was known for but a full, strong belly laugh. Tears streamed from his eyes as he doubled over, gasping for breath as Leon and Iven argued in the background.

"But it's so dumb!" Aravind sobbed, which just made it worse.

He threw his hands in the air as Jinyan toppled over, still laughing hysterically.

"You know what? This competition is stupid! I'm getting drunk!"

Quest: The Merchant of Orenia

Summary: another early quest from Summoner, Orenia replaces Darhan as the game's catch all Asian counterpart. As the Oak Leaf Contest came from a different game, Jinyan's house was instead burnt down by an angry mob after Orenia declared war; he is only incarcerated for his own protection.

Leon's original strategy is what the player is required to do in the game: Joseph must speak to Dagis the Forger and purchase a fake release order, then bribe Gorbus into accepting it. If the player doesn't bribe him then he tears the release order up, forcing the player to either boot up an earlier save or buy another. It's not unusual for repeat players skipping past his dialogue to repeatedly trigger this response.

Gorbus is not well liked by the fanbase.

Fun fact: a lot of what happened in the Keep was cobbled together from elements of a game called Escape From Butcher Bay, starring Vin Diesel as Richard B. Riddick. The Head Takers aren't as cuddly as they are here, but Riddick thinks they're as cool as I do.

I want one.

There's a great Let's Play by patalogTV on YouTube. Check it out if you want to see what these things look like.