The Submissive

Chapter Four: The Darkest Desires

Bella Swan

When I got upstairs I headed to my bedroom first, I had to pick out something to wear to the Cullen's house and then something for me to change into come morning. I used my old backpack from school, it was a little worn around the edges but it would to for tonight. Into my closet I collect a white long-sleeved t-shirt with a scooped neckline, a pair of blue jeans to come to with it and some ankle boots. I would wear this tonight and for the morning I had a grey flannel blouse and a white tank top and jeans.

I began searching through my pajamas in an effort to find something that wasn't worn out around the waist line or contained any holes. I finally settled on a pair of light grey sweat pants and a black strap top. I doubted Edward would be home before morning, I didn't have to worry about what I wore to bed tonight. Not that I ever worried, I just liked to look nice for him, even when I was asleep in his arms.

Into the bag I placed my laptop and charger, my cell and a book I was currently reading. I didn't want Emmett to feel like he had to keep me entertained, he had stayed behind to watch over me, the least I could do in return was to keep myself busy and stay out of his way.

After I had everything looked out and ready to go I headed for the bathroom, heading inside I immediately turned the water on to make sure it was hot by the time I was ready to step inside. I had been shopping all day long and all I wanted was to wash the scent of all the stores off my skin and hair. It was strange how store smells seemed to linger, I didn't want Emmett breathing in this smell all night. Edward was always too kind to admit what he could smell off me by the time we finished school, that's why I showered every night before he came over. I doubted the smell of the cafeteria and gym was a real turn on.

As the shower heated up I went to work on stripping off my clothes from that day, dumping everything into the laundry hamper in the corner. I went up to the sink and began my brushing my teeth and then combing out my hair, then I washed my hands and scrubbed under my fingernails before I went to work on cleansing my face. I didn't want my skin to look oily tonight, I was going to my boyfriend's house and I wanted to look nice.

Once inside the shower I immediately began to wash my hair, I wanted to double condition it and hopefully get the same smooth effect on it from the night before. Plus all day long I could smell the scent of my shampoo lingering over me, if I liked it then Edward might like it when he see's me in the morning.

I had shaved last night but as my conditioner worked its magic I picked up my razor and began to work on my legs, checking for anything I might have missed. I shaved under my arms, knowing I would be wearing a strap top that night to bed. I just wanted to make the same efforts girls my age did for their boyfriends. Edward hadn't given me any hint that he wanted me to do these little things and it wasn't about him, if I was going to human a while longer then I may asleep do all these little things now.

As I rinsed out my hair I began to wonder if Edward ever spoke about me to his brothers, after all I spoke to Alice about him from time to time. I began to wonder if Edward ever told them anything he would change about our relationship. I knew the things that I would change but Edward would never hear a word about any of that. He'd tell me the dangers behind us being more physical with each other and no matter how hard I tried to convince him that I trusted in his control around me, he wouldn't back down.

Most of the time it's the other way around in cases such as these, I sometimes felt pathetic, like I was somehow begging him to touch me. Sometimes I'd feel low about myself when I thought about our close encounters, he would become so closed off and I would feel like such an idiot for believing he wanted more.

What I wanted to tell him, well what I would never tell him was the reality that I also have needs.

I needed to experience life, every single aspect of it and one of those aspects to me was sex.

I felt like I was ready, I felt this way for a while now and it killed me how Edward refused to see it. He was so focused on what might happen that he didn't see what was right in front of him. Me. Desperate for him and only him.

I stepped out of the shower and began to towel dry my hair. I was letting my thoughts get away from me and make me angry. Edward wasn't even here, but I was angry with him, I wanted to argue I wanted us to have an argument, we never argued. Why not? We wouldn't break up, we wouldn't leave one another. We would get stuff off our chest once and for all.

I sighed and made my way over to the sink, looking in my reflection I saw the girl Edward saw and it bothered me.

I retrieved a bag of makeup my mom had sent me and began to set everything out on the sink. I wasn't going to make a fool of myself and wear too much make up, but I was going to do all the little things other girls my age did that made a difference to them.

I used a dark brown eyebrow liner and began to shape and fill in my brows, yes I knew how to do this, even the bookish girl watches tutorials when she can't sleep. For my eyeshadow I went simple a very soft cream base, then an ivory matte for the finish, then I used the mascara and built it up so I had a little volume but a lot of length to them. I used a dark brown eyeshadow below my eye to make my eyes appear a little bigger. My foundation matched my pale complexion so well you'd doubt I was even wearing any and for my lip a simple light pink.

"Wow" I whispered at my own reflection.

Returning to my bedroom, I checked the time and found I had half an hour before Emmett was set to pick me up.

I kept my towel around me and added the necessary body spray, then a touch of perfume on both wrists. Then I blow dry my hair making sure to brush and blow at the same time to smooth it out and avoid the frizz I usually had, especially in the back.

By the time it was done it was perfect. It was exactly the way I hoped it would turn out.

When I caught my reflection in the mirror, I doubted my make up and sank my back into my chair.

"What am I doing?" I mouthed to the mirror.

I shook my head at myself, I was being stupid. Emmett would have a few comments about my make up no doubt, he'd be sure to tell Edward and the others all about it. What would Rosalie think if I went to her house alone with her boyfriend wearing new make up knowing no one would be home but the two of us?

I hadn't put on the makeup for Emmett, the makeup was for me and yet now it didn't seem right to be wearing it.

I changed into the clothes I had picked out and gathered my make up, I left my bedroom and dumped my bag at the bathroom door as I went in to clean it all off.

But it was too late.

Outside a car horn sounded.

Even if I did wipe it off right now my face was be red by the time I got to the car and Emmett would wondered what was going on. The best thing, the only thing I could do now was to wear it and roll with it.

I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder and made my way downstairs, grabbing my keys from the bowl by the door. I looked out to the street and saw the black Mercedes with the engine running, the window rolled down and Emmett looked over at me and I raised my hand and waved before turning back to lock the door.

Emmett let the window roll back up as I made my way down the small footpath and towards the car. I was relived that unlike Edward, Emmett didn't rush to open my door, I liked that Edward was old school, but sometimes I just really wanted to open my own door.

"Hey" Emmett greeted me as I slid myself into the passenger seat dumping my backpack to the floor by my feet.

"Hey"

"You ready for tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

I looked over at him and Emmett shrugged his shoulders slightly a small smirk on his lips as he turned on the heated seat function for me. The light above us dimmed and suddenly it was dark and all I could do was breathe in whatever he was wearing. I couldn't name it in a thousand years but it smelt so good, it was the type of aftershave or something that all girls wish their boyfriends wore.

"Think we can get up to all kinds of trouble" Emmett said as he began to pull away from my house.

I laughed and kept my focus ahead, though I could sense his eyes looking over at me once or twice as we headed down my street.

"Has Edward called you? He hasn't called me yet" I asked in an effort to keep the conversation going.

"They won't call, they've got a lot to do"

"A lot on their plate?" I attempted a joke

Across from me Emmett smirked, one hand on the steering wheel the other in his lap. What was it about guys who drove with one hand?

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Emmett asked

"Oh, don't worry about it. I've got plenty to keep myself busy with you don't need to feel obligated"

"It's not obligation, Bella"

I looked to him then and when we reached a stop sign Emmett finally looked my way.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked him.

Emmett returned his attention to the road and turned left instead of right.

"What are you doing?"

"We're gonna have some fun"

"What kind of fun?"

"Do you trust me?"

Oh, Edward's words. What was I doing? No no, I wasn't doing anything. I was with his brother. His brother! There was nothing going on. I was being a future sister-in-law and nothing more.

Future sister-in-law or not I had a question to answer.

"Maybe"

"Maybe?" Emmett dared

"Depends on what level of fun, we're talking"

"The type we don't tell anyone about come morning type of fun"

He was either being friendly and I was reading too much into it or there was something here. Something Emmett seemed to be taking the driver's seat on, no pun intended.

Emmett was taking control, taking control of tonight and was clearly offering me a choice. I could tell him no right now and spend the night at the Cullens without another word said about it. Or just once, I could live. Roll with whatever he had planned and just try it. I faced death and survive and he seemed to be in the same mind frame.

"Ok" I agreed

I looked out the front window not daring to meet him in the eye then.

"Emmett"

"Yeah"

"Go fast"

Emmett roared the engine and I felt the power of it, suddenly I was aware of my ears, the back of my neck and knees. What had I gotten myself into?