Chapter 28:

When Kara and Alexhander left the kitchen the air between them felt different. General Kirigan had always felt that the magnitude of his loneliness was something no one could begin to fathom. Now, he was no longer so sure. He found in Kara a kindred spirit. Both of them were incomplete, bound to build a life without some of its greatest joys. Their pain was roughly hidden under a profound desire to protect others of their kind...For him the Grisha, for her the Otkazat'sya. It was their way of making the pain less vibrant. The general Grisha could not describe what he felt other than a form of companionship in the hardship they both faced. When he looked at her now, he no longer harbored his staged air of power and command. He did not need to. Because she realization made him feel a strange happiness as well as a foreboding sense of fear. If Kara was the first being he felt this sense of attachment, it meant it would have taken him centuries to find a friendly consort. She was starting to matter and what could he do in the end, but lose her? He felt conflicted. He wanted to be close to her and yet self-preservation whispered that he should protect his heart as he always had.

For Kara, the experience was somewhat different, as they walked back to their quarters side by side. She felt lighter, having now someone to share the pain with. However, his revelation that her body could not be fixed by any means made her predicament final. She would never be a mother. The certainty of it was both a relief and a curse. At least now, she had no options in the way she would lead the rest of her life. After her few months here, she would move on to the army again. After her 5 years service, she would be free to move on to...anywhere. Kara stopped by her door and realized the general had followed her like a shadow. They both felt awkward with the new found intimacy and did not yet know what to do with it. Alexhander was searching her face, hunting for any glimpse as to what she felt. She looked beaten down and infinitely tired. She saw his worry and felt his powerlessness to help her. The healer leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She pulled away gently, letting the moment float between them. As Kara pushed her door open, her tight throat croaked, " Do not worry, I will be alright...in time".

Kara spent the last two days before her first class arranging the final details. She was able to secure a classroom which used to be storage room for the drying of herbs. The smell suited Kara. As she began to wash and scrub the empty room, Luka appeared in the door-frame. She was happy to see him. " Luka! I haven't seen you in a while, guess where I am going to give my classes to your Grisha cohort?". Luka wrinkled his nose, " In here?". She nodded, " It's not much to look at but at least there's a large chimney and storage if we want to make potions and draughts. I just have to find tables, chairs and writing material". Luka brightened, " I think I can help! I can show you where we store everything and I can help you bring the heavier furniture". And so they spent their day arranging the room. By the evening they had almost finished. The wooden floor had been washed and waxed. The walls had been brushed and the last spiderwebs removed. The shelves on each side of the room had been filled with vials of herbs, mushrooms and algae for reference. They had found long tables with worn out chairs in a storage shed. They had been cleaned and arranged to accommodate for about 30 students. Kara hoped they would all be filled in two days.

As she shut the door and attached the key with her room key around her neck, Lucka cleared his throat, " Do you think...if it's no trouble...that I could come and sit in your classes?". Kara was startled, " I am flattered if you find interest in what I do Luka but it is not a waste of your time? My classes were adapted for healers and heartrenders, not for Materialki". Luka pleaded his case, " Are you not the one that says to think differently from others for innovation? I know I won't be able to do everything but I'm sure good will come of it! And at least you'll have a friendly face to look at when you need it." Kara hesitated. His supplicating eyes got the better of her. The healer sighed, "IF your master agrees then yes, you can come". Luka grinned widely, " You won't regret it! That's a promise!". He left skipping backwards and missed the nearby wall by a breath. Kara chuckled. Luka was a ray of sunshine but she hoped he would not set her classroom on fire. She wondered how he had not had an accident while preparing the explosives for the army, considering his stumbling ways.

As she was about to set for the dining hall, she realized she was afraid. The tension in the last few days at diner had been palpable. The braver Grisha had started to taunt her when their general was not around. Irina was the worst. Once she realized she could goad the army healer and have other Grisha rally to her, she became unstoppable. Only yesterday Irina had irked her from across her table, " So PROFESSOR, what is it that you are going to teach healers and heartrenders? I bet it will be so boring your students will use their arms to prop their heads". A few had snickered. Igor and Ania had flashed Irina a cold warning. " Save your sour mouth for the blooming lemons Irina!", spat Ania in her defense. Kara had tried to ignore the tidemaker but her temper had gotten the better of her in the end.

She had risen slowly, fixing the blond in her blue kefta. She had made her way to her end of the table and pushed the two Grisha sitting across from Irina. She sat on the bench, defiant, her cheeks flushed. Irina was taken aback and looked at her in apprehension. " Go on. I'm here. Say what you REALLY want to say Irina". The room was tense and silent. The other Grisha looked on holding their breaths. Irina gathered her courage, " I'm only saying what everything is thinking. You don't belong with us. You aren't Grisha!". She spat the last few words. Kara blinked patiently, " Yes I've heard that before. How is that a problem?". Irina looked baffled, as if her opponent must be dim-witted. " Isn't is obvious? You cannot TEACH if you do not practice our ways! How can a fish teach a bird how to fly?!". Kara saw a few Grisha whisper in agreement. She would have to play smart or loose her future students. She raised an eyebrow, " Nice image. What if the bird was stranded in a raging storm over the ocean? Could the fish not teach the bird to swim until the storm passes?". Igor and Ania frowned, they did not seem to catch the idea and neither did Irina. There is no form of storm for us..." She whispered. Kara challenged her, " Is there not? A storm can have different forms. As I understand it you are all here under general Kirigan's orders to train and be protected from those who would harm you." Irina seemed triumphant, " Yes! and who are those that would harm us! They are Otkazat'sya! They burn, torture, enslave and kill us out of spite and jealousy!". Kara waited patiently for the angry murmurs to subside. " Are you sure that is the reason? Have you studied your history Irina? Why are the Grisha hunted? because once, it was the other way around...".

Some seemed puzzled and confused. Luka seemed to catch on, his spoon of fish halfway up to his lips. Kara stood from the bench and started to walk amongst the tables. " 500 years ago, a powerful Materialki by the name of Kirusha, used to kidnap children from nearby villages and torture them. He was convinced that pain, was one of the foundations of calling upon merzost. In the end he was hanged by the parents who had lost children to his hands." Kara stopped and faced the room. " but that is not the only isolated incident. I have several such examples but I am not here to give you a lesson in history. All I am saying is that the hunting can become the hunted under different circumstances. A pain that has been caused to us breeds retribution. This nurtures a vicious cycle that never STOPS. If you wish Grisha to be safe, then you need to bridge the gap with the Otkazat'sya. If they believe you to be allies, then they cannot hate you. If they do not hate you, they will not harm you". Kara scanned the room, no one was talking now. " Irina is right. I cannot practice any form of Small Science. But I have many other gifts. Healing is not JUST about the body. It's also how you speak to the mind and soul of the person. How you LISTEN and comprehend what ails them. Ania and I, we have been able to innovate in surgeries never attempted before because our patients decided to TRUST us". Ania nodded, in complete agreement with Kara. Some of the heart-renders and healers seemed unsure now and shuffled in their seats. Kara was getting tired of having to defend herself. She decided to finish quickly. " If you truly believe that I cannot teach you anything of value, then by all means, do not come to my classes. I will only spend my energy with those who are convinced in their purpose to heal. To be honest I care little about the outcome of the next 6 months. If I have but one student that proves to be competent, that will be enough. I ask only for a drop of trust enough for you to assist to my first lesson. Then you can make your mind up rather than to be in opposition out of pure prejudice."

She had left without another word, unsure if her message would be heard. Now, standing near the dining hall, Kara lost all form of appetite. She realized she would have to be strong tomorrow and could not risk losing her motivation now. She preferred to retire to her room with an empty stomach and rest. Tomorrow would be the first day of a few long and challenging weeks. In the end, the healer slept poorly, thinking of what she could say or do to make her first lesson go as smoothly as possible. She tossed and turned until she gave up finding sleep. She lit a candle and opened the first page to her program, rereading the introduction yet again. The pages had been wrinkled and smoothed out countless times already. Little did she know that someone else was doing the same thing that night.

Alexhander was anxious. He had had no news of a whole garrison of Grisha staying at a camp near Caryeva. Despite his command for a full report, the soldier responsible for the delivery of the letter came back haunted, mentioning that the camp seemed deserted. As Caryeva was the closest Ravkan city to Shu Han, the news was worrying. General Kirigan knew he would have to leave with his Corporalki to investigate. If indeed Shu Han was responsible of the demise of his soldiers, he would make sure that his response would be remembered. Alexhander sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He had never hesitated to go on the field when there was need of it. Yet, for the first time, he did not wish to leave. If he did, Kara would have to fend for herself with the king. The monarch had not taken the hint and had sent flowers to her room. Kara had made sure to refuse them. There was the question of her Grisha students as well. He knew that they would make her life difficult until she had earned their respect. Thinking of her, he reached out for her program he had inspected meticulously.

Her program was impeccable. Each reference to a Small Science notion or principle was well documented. Each new scientific finding explained. She had gone as far as to dispatch a few letters to a few renown doctors for additional information. The fusion of Science and the Heart render or healer Small Science would allow them to revolutionize medicine. He had trained heart-renders to be efficient killers but had overlooked their capacity to manage heartbeat and blood flow, which was essential for long surgeries. Kara's theory was that with training, a heart-render could restart a stopped heart, reduce blood flow and therefore limit blood loss and even place a patient into a deep painless slumber. Healers, on the other hand, had been trained for quick military interventions, closing up torn limbs, healing battlefield amputees and therefore avoiding gruesome deaths to infections. Kara had scribbled on a few pages, that perhaps, they could avoid amputation all together, heal brain and spine damages too complex as of today. Most of her proposals were based on saving Grisha energy. The idea was for energy-consuming steps to be done through surgery and for the final healing to be done with Grisha magic. Reading her program, it all seemed so easy and simple. A final scribble of hers on the last page was a question: could materialki be useful for the making of prosthetics, if they were trained in anatomic biology and mecanics? The idea seemed sound. He would have to push the idea with her and see what could come of it. Kirigan closed the leather pouch and placed it safely in his personal library. He would assist her first class to make his support clear. Then, despite his worry for her, he would leave and whisper a prayer to the saints to watch over her.