The VIP area of the Lucky Springs Relaxation Centre was extravagant. It should be, considering he had to pay a month's rent to have the privilege of standing in it and exchange a minimum of another two months rent for chips to play in it.

In addition to the slot machines, bar, and blackjack tables, there were two glass walled poker rooms. They were separated by an opening to the level below, which took up the middle of the floor. Up through the opening stood a blue marble statue of the goddess Aqua holding a vase from which poured steaming spring water into the onsen below. The onsen was filled with nubile young men and women who were a mix of customers, employees, and clergy.

It almost went without saying that the opening was lined with well-to-do women—and a few men—considering making a 'donation' to the churches.

Shikamaru took a seat at the poker table, surveying the other players. Well-dressed corporate elite, blinged out gang leaders, an edgerunner chromed to the nines, a priest of Eris with a self-confident smirk, and a dealer in a bunny suit—his chest nearly on full display.

With a couple taps, Shikamaru was dealt in.

"Fresh meat for the grinder," a red-headed corporate woman said from across from him, obviously eyeing him up.

Shikamaru smiled, "Strong words from the lady who's about to pay for my drinks."

"Oh? Pretty boy thinks I'm going to buy him a drink before I even know his name?"

"Oh, you won't be buying them, but it'll be your money paying for them regardless." Shikamaru put on his 'overconfident young man in over his head' look.

"Big talk, let's see if you can back it up."

Shikamaru proceeded to lose the first couple hands, though never betting particularly high and going in hard whenever he did get a good hand. The other players caught on to his fabricated tactics: the fact that he'd never go in on something less than three of a kind, and would always go hard on a straight or flush while seemingly forgetting that a full house existed.

Then the work started. The first step was a very light, very subtle genjutsu that made everyone at the table more confident that their hand was the best one and that everyone else was bluffing. In the magic rich air of the church/casino, such subtle manipulation went unnoticed, even by the priest—who should be on guard against such things.

The game didn't actually change that much, in the way of who took what winnings, because when everyone's a little more reckless the money moves around pretty evenly.

Of course, a little more went into Shikamaru's pot than went out.

But he kept having to stop his genjutsu. Clerics and paladins of Eris patrolled the casino, actively looking for tampering. They weren't masters in the spiritual arts—like high priests or master monks—but they were aware enough that if he tried something blatant they'd come running. It had nixed his first idea of a genjutsu to change what the players thought their cards were, or a transformation to make the cards appear different.

A few players rotated out, and who should sit down across from him but Jiraiya of the Sannin, hero of two shadow wars and protégé of the Hokage himself.

Shikamaru didn't expect the man to recognize him, having never met the legendary ninja, but Jiraiya gave him a raised eyebrow nonetheless.

The disguised young man pretended not to notice as the game continued.

And the dirty old man won nearly every hand. "Well, looks like I'm getting lucky tonight!" Jiraiya chortled, winking at the corpo woman across from him.

"Maybe if you were thirty years younger." The woman laughed behind her hand.

"Rude!" Jiraiya sputtered, "Just because I'm not a fan of anti-aging treatments for myself doesn't mean I'm that old!"

"I don't know," Shikamaru stirred the pot, "That sounds like a pretty old-fashioned attitude."

"Hmph," the white haired ninja grunted, "Young bucks don't know how to respect their elders."

"And elders don't know when they're in over their heads." Shikamaru responded. Well, his character responded, Shikamaru wanted to say something like, 'elders don't know when to keep their noses out of my business and let me sleep on my days off.'

"Refresh your drink, sir?" asked one of the employees.

"Certainly," Shikamaru turned toward the attractive blonde woman in a black bunny-suit, holding up his glass.

Alcohol flowed abundantly in all the public spaces of the Lucky Springs Relaxation Centre. Apparently, both goddesses were known to be rather fond of drink. Lucky him, because Shikamaru was going to need some alcohol to deal with the inevitable eccentricities that come with legendary shinobi.

One does not become a powerful killer without also becoming powerfully quirky.

Then Shikamaru froze as he registered the strained smile on the face of the employee attending him.

Standing above him, skimpily dressed in a black latex bunny girl outfit, was Ino Yamanaka.

And across from him, pouring a drink for Jiraiya, was Sakura Haruno. Both had strained smiles and eyes that promised death.

'I'm going to die, aren't I?' Shikamaru thought to himself.

"Oops! How clumsy of me!" Ino splashed some alcohol onto Shikamaru's leg, "I'm so sorry sir, but don't worry, we have very fast laundry facilities in the back, let me show you to them." Ino's hand clamped down on his shoulder hard enough that he could practically hear the joint creak.

'Perhaps the older shinobi will help m-' Shikamaru looked over that Jiraiya, who was drooling over the barely legal girls in their skimpy outfits.

'Oh.' Shikamaru thought bleakly as Ino practically lifted him out of his chair.

'I'm fucked.'

In the back rooms of the casino/spa Shikamaru was pressed into a wall and thought to himself, 'Why do they have secluded laundry rooms?'

His pants were already gone, having been practically torn off his body and hung up in a Suna Corp. Single Item Dry Cleaner™.

Ino and Sakura were pinning him to the wall, one on either side.

He's not ashamed to admit that more than a few lewd dreams had started with something akin to this scenario.

Ino poked him in the chest, "What… The fuck… Are you doing here?"

Shikamaru decided to try to play it cool. Ino liked to play the bad bitch, but she wouldn't actually do anything to actually hurt him, "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"Shika, I swear I'll flash baby pictures of you onto the group chat." Ino hissed.

Sakura grinned at her partner in crime, though Shikamaru can tell that it's mostly a front. "Are they cute?"

"Disgustingly cute. They're from an Inuzuka gathering. He's in a pile of puppies!" Ino gave Shikamaru the evil eye.

He blushed, "That's not much of a threat."

"You want worse?" Ino dug her poking finger into his chest harder.

Shikamaru put his hands up, "Listen, I'm just here to make some money. One person C-ranks split among three people just doesn't pay the bills."

"Don't I know it," Sakura muttered to herself.

Ino continued, "And you just so happened to come to the place where Sakura and I do an embarrassing side-job on the day we're working at said job, su~re, let's say I believe that." Ino slammed her hand down on the wall next to Shikamaru's head and leaned in until her face was practically touching his, "Except I'm not stupid and neither are you. So, what's your game? Blackmail? Gonna finally admit that you think Sakura and I are the hottest things on the planet and force yourself on us for your sick amusement? Sakura might be into that, but I'm not!"

Sakura sputtered in protest, coming more fully into the present situation instead of half staring off into the distance.

Ino might have been playing up the situation for a laugh. Shikamaru wasn't malicious, nor was he a prankster. In truth, she was probably going a bit too hard on him, but it was kinda fun. She'd imagined being in situations like this, rehearsing what she'd do if someone tried to blackmail her.

Ino may have also flashed images and video of herself less than fully clothed in 'secure' places on the net as bait.

But Shikamaru had never found them, which was good, because the bait wasn't for him… But that was besides the current point. He was probably telling the truth about this being coincidental. She should let him go. Though that would mean admitting that she had overreacted a bit, which would be galling.

O~r, she could take this opportunity to embarrass two of her oldest friends.

Because Ino was a netrunner—a damn good one—and part of her netrunning class back at the academy involved hacking into most of her class's personal agents.

Ino knew things about her friends that no one should know.

And she had an idea.

An awful idea.

Ino had a wonderful, awful idea.

"I-I wouldn't do that, Ino, you'd kick my ass." Shikamaru chuckled.

"But I couldn't do that, Shika~" Ino crooned, "If word got out to the class that Sakura and I were doing this, then we'd be a laughingstock. Two strong kunoichi having to debase themselves, we'd never be able to show our faces again."

Sakura was blushing. She should be, convincing Ino to do this with her. Ino pushed harder into Shikamaru, pressing his upper arm between her breasts and breathing into his ear. His face was turning red now.

"We'd do anything to not have that happen. We'd lose all respect with our teams and our jonin instructors. You could ask us to do anything." And this is where Ino's ill-gotten knowledge could be put to use, "Tie us up with your shadow, force us to watch as you go back and forth between us, fucking us silly until we couldn't live without your dick."

Goddesses, she felt like an idiot using that hentai sounding line. Fortunately for her, Shikamaru and Sakura were both embarrassed and—apparently—turned on enough that they didn't notice her practically fragging it. 'These two are just too fucking cute,' Ino thought to herself.

"Oh~, already getting hard for us, Shika?" Ino asked, looking down at Shikamaru's erection, clearly visible in his boxers.

By thing point, Shikamaru and Sakura were both completely red-faced. It certainly didn't help that Ino'd taken that suggestion from their combined search history.

"Ino! What are you doing!" Sakura whisper-screamed.

'Oh, you know, just helping you out.' Ino thought, fully aware of her friend/rival's long time crush. It's not like they had a lot of options for boys in their age range, anyway. Their year had been the most boy heavy, with four. The year above them had had two, the year below: one. By graduation, the ninja academy usually boasted five graduating girls for each boy, outside families who did heavy genetic augmentation.

So if they wanted to guarantee that their children would have strong chakra networks, their choices were limited, unless they didn't want to go on a worldwide manhunt. There was a reason older, unmarried kunoichi were known as 'cougars,' though Ino thought 'wolves' was better, since they tended to hunt in packs.

"What? Shika's really got us by the hair right now. If he told you to get on your knees, you'd have no choice~" Ino teased.

Humanity as a whole may have moved away from the idea of locking in your place in a family early, but the old traditions were alive and well in the ninja clans. Ino was fairly sure that there was a long-standing treaty between the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka clans that if one of their kunoichi were still single at the age of twenty-five they would have an automatic place in the other familys' polycules.

"Ino, shut up! You're giving him ideas!" Sakura's face was a deeper pink than her hair, though Ino noted that Sakura's legs were clamped together and rubbing minutely.

But Ino was getting off track. There weren't a lot of options, especially if they wanted someone their own age, which they very much did. Most bachelors had at least one woman by the time they turned twenty, and almost always more than that. If you wanted in on the ground floor, you either needed to start while still in school or just after.

The ninja academy just didn't leave enough time to maintain a relationship beyond the bare basics, so starting early wasn't really an option beyond arranged marriages. Corpo brats and streetkids started hooking up as early as thirteen, but when you have to train for ten to fourteen hours a day, that's just not an option.

"I'm not giving him any ideas he hasn't already had!" Ino fake pouted. "You think he was just sleeping in class all those times? I bet he was daydreaming about what we'd look like in lingerie or something." Ino was teasing them both now and she was having far more fun that she expected. Both Shikamaru and Sakura were looking at her with incredulous, shocked expressions.

Continuing the previous thought, for a standard kunoichi who was interested in both men, women, and eventually having children, this often limited their options to about eight young men who were close by and available.

For Ino, she was limited to, perhaps, three of the available seven. Kiba was a little shit that Ino didn't want to deal with, so was out.

The year above them? Neji was the first male rookie of the year in ten years and had offers from all over the empire, so he was practically out. Rock Lee was automatically refusing all offers until he could prove that he could make jonin without complex chakra manipulation, so he was also out.

The two years below them contained only a single boy who was already promised to at least three women.

This left Choji, Shino, and Shikamaru. Choji was nice, but a pushover. Shino was just… kinda weird? Shika, for all that he was a lazy whiner, actually gave some pushback when Ino tried to walk all over him.

So, really, the question is, are those candidates bad enough that Ino would risk the years—potentially decades—of searching to find a man who was 'perfect' for her?

Fuck. No. Ino could die tomorrow. Satsuki had proved that. Rookie of the year smeared across the pavement like so much synth-berry jam. Even getting married to Kiba was better than wasting years trying to find 'mr. right' when there were several 'mr. good's right there.

Ino could understand girls who didn't want to 'settle.' She'd been one of those girls, not six years ago. She liked to think she'd grown up since then. Another contributing factor for Ino being willing to 'settle'—which was an ugly way to put it, but that's what people trying to bring her down would say—was that the girl she had been crushing on since she was old enough to have crushes got her brain painted on a wall two days ago. Suddenly, having someone there to pick her up if and when her world started falling apart seemed a lot more important than having 'the best.'

So perhaps Ino was acting just a little hysterical, but by the gods and goddesses of this world and any other, she was going to fucking do something about it.

"Shika?" Ino asked sweetly, "Get the fuck out."

"But I'm not wearing-" Shikamaru squawked.

"Don't care!" Ino pushed Shikamaru out into the hallway.

Shikamaru looked around at the girls and boys in bunny costumes staring at him. He gave a little wave. They looked down at the erection visible through his underwear and started giggling.

Back in the laundry room, Ino rounded on Sakura, "I have come to a very disturbing conclusion."

Sakura, still red in the face, stared at Ino, "What?"

"We're going to get married to Shikamaru…"

"What!" Sakura's blush turned nuclear.

"Think about it!" Ino started pacing, "How many actual prospects do we have? The years above us are out of the running unless you want to throw yourself at the genius Hyuuga's feet, and the years below us are barren. Our year has the largest number of unattached boys. Now, how many of them would you actually date?"

Sakura paused for a moment to think.

"It's one, it's literally just one." Ino supplied.

Sakura scowled at Ino, "I don't understand what you have against Choji and Shino."

"And I don't know how you can consider them serious prospects, but whatever. You agree that Shika is our best option, right?"

Sakura's blush deepened, but didn't say anything. Ino grinned at her friend, "That's what I thought. So here's what we're going to do, we're going to start Operation: Securing Our Man, and we're going to get Shikamaru onboard."

"What about Satsuki?"

Ino gave Sakura a blank look, "The same girl who literally got herself killed two days ago?"

Sakura looked away and bit her lip, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

"Ah, shit, I'm sorry, Sakura." Ino pulled the slightly shorter girl into a hug.

Sakura sniffled into Ino's chest, hugging her oldest friend tightly. Ino sighed, "You really shouldn't be working when you're like this."

"Need th'money." Sakura mumbled.

"You know I'd be more than happy to give you my old stuff, or buy you some new equipment, you know? I have spares."

"F'koff, don' need y'r help, Pig."

Ino pulled Sakura in tighter, a mixture of sympathy and incredulousness filling her chest. She whispered in Sakura's ear, "You fucking dragged me into being a bunny girl for perverted old yonos, Forehead, I'm already helping you."

"Sh't'p." Sakura mumbled, pulling her face back and wiping her eyes. With a few deep breaths, Sakura slowly brought herself back under control. "Ok… ok, I'm calm. I'm composed. I'm ready for anything."

"Sure."

'What the fuck are they doing in there.' Shikamaru thought as he gave another group of bunny girls and boys a strained smile as they walked past, the entire group giggling at his lack of pants.

"So, what are you proposing?" Sakura asked Ino.

"I'm proposing that we start securing our hold on the polycule before we push for Satsuki. She's out of the romance game for at least a month and probably much more than that, considering she's never seemed interested in a relationship. But if she's going to 'restore the Uchiha' in more than just name, then she's going to need a husband."

Ino's face morphed into a vicious grin, "And what if—by the time she realizes she needs a family—there's only one option?"

"Us?"

"Us, girls we approve of and will follow our lead, and the man of our choice. She'd have no choice but to name one of us as second."

"Which one." Sakura's eyes turned sharp.

"We'll go by vote." Ino's smile was devious, confident she can secure more allies than her clanless friend.

"We'll need to do more than just have a polycule ready for her, we also need to show her that it's her best option."

"Or her only option. You find Shino and Choji cute, so there's no doubt that others will as well. Maybe we point a few girls their way, huh?"

"A multipronged attack, huh? We get the boys into relationships, secure our allies, get the best—and perhaps only—male option for her purposes, and convince her to join us. That last part's probably going to be the hardest. I mean, she hasn't exactly been open to our advances before."

Ino flinched at the memory of two twelve-year-old girls practically throwing themselves at 'the cutest girl in the class.' "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it. The main problem is that we need to find suitable women to join us. If you look at our class, there aren't exactly a lot of options."

Sakura nodded, "There are rumours that Hinata might not become the next clan head of the Hyuuga."

"Doesn't really matter, if she loses the head seat they'll birdcage her immediately, and even if they allow her children to carry the genes to use the byakugan, they'd never allow someone wearing Uchiha colours to install one."

"Maybe not. There's talk of removing the birdcage from Neji and promoting him to the main branch. If we were to strike at the same time, call it a 'union of Konoha's oldest clans' they might buy it."

Ino hmm'd as she thought.

Outside, Shikamaru was giving his best 'Thanks, but I'm not interested' smile.

"Is that a sausage in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" the short, red-headed woman said to him as she waggled her eyebrows at Shikamaru.

"Ah, I'm just waiting for my pants to be done in the dry cleaner."

"Why not come wait with me and my chooms? We'll show you a nova time, better than anything out front."

Shikamaru chuckled uncomfortably. 'I'm in danger.'

Ino looked at Sakura, "We'll call it a maybe for Hinata. The only other girl in our year is Naruko and I think we can both agree that she's out."

Sakura made a face.

"Oh no, please don't tell me that being on a team with her has rotted your brain enough for you to like her! You've been on one mission!"

"It's not that! It's just… Naruko and Satsuki have this… thing."

Ino's eyes went wide, "Their 'rivalry' has been a cover for their sordid affair for years! I knew it!"

"No, Ino, shut up!" Sakura pushed Ino's face away from hers, "It's just, like, they're super focused on each other. Like… It's like me and our jonin disappear when they're around each other. I always thought the whole rivalry thing was one-sided, but apparently not."

"Dammit." Ino groused, "I don't want Naruko as a wife for the same reason Kiba would make a crap husband, way too much energy. Satsuki and Shikamaru would have to spend all their time keeping her in line. I want pampering, dammit!"

"Wow," Sakura snarked, "I can feel the love from here. Is that really your only complaint?"

"What? She's cute, no problems there, but she's just so freaking hyperactive! Like, chill the fuck out, and I'm sure she'd be preem." Ino groused.

"That's really the only issue you have? Not the verbal tick, not the pranks, not generally being kind of a bitch?"

Ino shrugged, "I could learn to live with it."

"Oh my god, my best friend thinks with her clit."

"Hey! I resemble that remark!"

"I hate you."

"Love you too, Forehead. So what I'm getting is that if we get Naruko on board, we'll have Satsuki's attention?"

"That would totally backfire. If Naruko got into a polycule then Satsuki would be pushed to get one of her own."

Ino's eyes lit up, "So if we got Naruko a boyfriend that could push Satsuki right into our arms?"

Sakura leaned against the wall with her arms crossed, "Maybe? At first? But they're also almost welded at the hip after only three days of working together, so if you got Naruko a boyfriend, get ready for them to be around us all the time."

Ino sighed, "Well, there goes the idea of pawning Naruko off on Kiba as step one. What do you suggest?"

Sakura put her considerable brain power to the issue for all of ten seconds before deciding, "We have at least a month before Satsuki will even be able to think about anything but recovering—from what I know about the revival protocol—so I think we have plenty of time."

Ino added, "The girls from the year above us are probably realizing that their odds with Neji aren't that great, so the boys from our year will probably be getting a lot of requests for dating in the coming months."

"Do you think Shikamaru is going to go on any of those dates?" Sakura asked a bit nervously.

Ino scoffed, "That lazybones? A woman would have to literally drag him out of his house to take him on a date. No, I think we can say that we have plenty of time to get him on board."

"So, you're going to seduce him?" Sakura was torn between being relieved and a little jealous.

Ino smiled deviously, "You're going to seduce him."

Sakura's irises blew wide, "M-me?" she squeaked.

"Don't play coy. I remember long nights of you ranting about your 'academic rival' and 'that lazy asshole' long before you finally caught on to Satsuki's charms."

"Getting annoyed at someone isn't the same as liking them, Ino, no matter what your animes say."

"Uh-huh, sure. I'm pretty sure violence is just your love language, babe."

"I'll love language my boot up your ass."

"Coming onto me?" Ino teased, "I'm glad you've finally warmed to my charms." Ino batted her eyes at Sakura. The pair were pulled from their banter by the dry cleaner dinging.

Sakura growled and stomped over to the door through which Shikamaru had gone. "We're tabling this entire discussion for now," she threw back over her shoulder at Ino.

With a hiss, the metal door slid open and Shikamaru—who had had his back pressed against it—immediately fell into Sakura's arms as he stumbled back into the room.

Half a dozen bunny-suited girls crowded the doorway, cooing at the young man. "Oi, you hussies! Back off, this one's ours!" Sakura grumped, sliding the door closed to a chorus of 'aww's.

The door slid shut on the disappointed and bemused faces of the crowd.

"Here," Ino said, tossing Shikamaru's pants to him, "We've decided that you aren't stupid enough to try to blackmail us and if you did try we could kick your ass, so put your pants on and forget you saw us."

Shikamaru gave her a flat look, "You know what, no." Shikamaru was feeling a little vindictive, "You threw me to the wolves, and you're asking me to keep this a secret, you owe me."

Ino scoffed, "Fine. Sakura, get on your knees."

"What!" Sakura screeched.

"Oh, shut up, you slut, you know you want this." Ino said flippantly.

Shikamaru raised his hands before Sakura could get angry, "Nothing like that. You'll even make some money."

Ino spoke up again, apparently in the mood to stir up some shit, "Letting us join you finding a sugar mommy?"

"No."

"You're secretly a joytoy?"

"No."

"You have a dozen secret love children from that one mission you went on with your dad where you didn't want to talk about it!" Ino was getting excited by this point.

Shikamaru grabbed Ino's face and forced her to look him in the eye. "Ino, you've been one of my best friends for nearly my entire life, you've helped to keep me sane when everyone else was going crazy. I want you to be happy in every way, and you deserve the world, so know that when I say this I'm not saying it from a place of hatred or even dislike. But please, Ino," Shikamaru paused to make sure she's listening, "Shut the fuck up, you absolute cunt."

Ino collapsed to the floor a moment later, unable to speak, or stand, unable to do anything but fight to breathe through her laughter, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Shikamaru looked down on her as Ino literally rolled on the floor laughing. Sakura wasn't doing much better, though she had managed to keep her feet. With a sigh, Shikamaru put his pants back on.

"Listen, I'm hopefully about to make heavy scratch, and if you help me I'll cut you in."

Sakura gave him the kind of look a mother gives a very stupid child, "Please tell me you're not about to cheat at cards in a casino blessed and owned by a goddess."

"Okay, I won't tell you." Shikamaru smirked at Sakura's annoyed expression, "That guy that was across from me? That was Jiraiya of the Sannin. Y'know, the one known to be a complete lecher?"

Ino, finally getting up from the floor, said, "Shikamaru, if you're seriously asking us to shake our tits in the face of a man old enough to be my great-grandfather I'm going to slap you upside the head."

"Darn," Shikamaru put on a false tone of disappointment, "And I was ready to not forward these pictures to your dad even though they'd look so cute next to your graduation photos."

"Shika, I will kill you. They'll never find the body."

"Jokes on you, I have a prerecorded message set to be flashed to the group chat telling them you killed me if I ever go missing."

"Excuse you, why am I the one you accuse?" Ino looked faux offended.

"Name one person it's more likely to be." Shikamaru shot back.

Ino thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers, "Your mom."

Shikamaru chuckled, "Fair."

"Gosh, just kiss already, you two." Sakura pitched in from behind them.

"Fuck off, Forehead, nobody wants to kiss this gonk's chapped-ass lips." Ino flapped her hand in Sakura's direction.

Shikamaru sighed, "So, are you going to help me, or what?"

"Fine, but we split the profits equally."

"Fuck off, I'm taking basically all the risks here. I take half a month's expenses off the top, and we split what's left."

"Oh yeah, because us getting caught cheating with a customer won't have any negative repercussions at all."

"I'm doing this because doing C-ranks doesn't pay the bills. I could do this without you, you know."

"Then do it without us!"

"I'm blackmailing you!"

"I'ma blackmail my boots straight into your balls!"

Sakura watched the two bicker like siblings… or an old married couple. Perhaps there's really no difference, when you get down to it… Sakura pushed that gross thought out of her mind. 'And I'm supposed to seduce him?' Sakura thought wanly. Though, she still got a little thrill out of the idea of finally getting one over on the genius… and she might be a little excited about the thought, as well.

Eventually, Sakura's best friend and Sakura's best friend's totally platonic male friend agreed on a way to split the money they were about to attempt to steal from a war veteran.

Perhaps she shouldn't think of it that way.

Minutes later Ino and Sakura slowly moved around the table, offering drinks to the players as Shikamaru took his seat. Sakura didn't pay much attention to the game, only noticing that Lord Jiraiya won more hands than he lost, the pile of holo-chips in front of him growing to a sizable heap.

Shikamaru's own chip pile was nearly the same size as when he started, and was fluctuating in a way that didn't seem to indicate a winning streak, even as it very gradually grew larger.

Sakura carefully stood opposite Shikamaru and spun a chakra thread out from her big toe, pushing it across the floor under the table and through Shikamru's shoe to latch onto his toe. The tiny chakra tendrils wormed their way into Shikamaru's tenketsu and deeper into the edges of his chakra network, like a genjutsu that only applied to his toe. With a flex of her tenketsu she tugged on the line and receives a tug back, though Shikamaru has to use his entire foot to do so.

Sakura shot a smug little grin over at Shikamaru, as is her habit any time she managed to be better than him at something. Shikamaru's warm brown eyes flicked to her and then away, no doubt doing his best to keep a straight face.

As Sakura passed Ino she established contact with a line from her other foot. Shikamaru inserted himself into the table's banter, over-exaggerating his apparent skills and setting himself up for a series of falls before the big payoff.

This would be so much easier if Ino knew how to use a transmission technique, but apparently 'telepathy is hard,' and using their agents was just stupid. There were netrunners employed by the casino meant to thwart just such attempts at cheating.

Four tugs from Ino, Jiraiya had three of a kind. Sakura gives one tug to Shikamaru. Two tugs back from Shikamaru; he had a pair. Sakura gave one tug back. Shikamaru went in and lost.

He spent the next couple hands slowly winning back what he lost to Jiraiya from the other players.

Six tugs from Ino. Jiraiya had a flush. One tug to Shikamaru. Three tugs back, he had two pair. One tug to Shikamaru. He played hard and lost hard.

Another twenty minutes slowly rebuilding his chips, trying to stay in line with Lord Jiraya's stack, though it was hard considering Sakura knows that Jiraya is cheating, though she couldn't tell how.

Seven tugs from Ino. Jiraya had a full house. No way Shikamaru can even compete. Sakura gave a tug anyway.

. Back.

Four of a kind.

No. Way.

Sakura looked at Shikamaru who was smirking, lounging in his chair like an indolent king.

It was kinda hot.

Sakura gave two tugs to Shikamaru and two to Ino. Time to begin the next phase of the plan.

Shikamaru leaned forward. "You know what, old man, I think you've had enough fun taking all these people's money."

"Oh-ho-ho, are you challenging me?" Jiraiya laughed.

"That's right, I'm calling you out. The goddess of luck is with me, and I'll prove it to you." Shikamaru pushed half his stack of chips into the centre of the table.

Ino 'kya'd like a filthy anime waifu and latched onto Lord Jiraiya's arm, "Are you going to just let this boy defile the goddess's honour like that!"

"Yeah, teach him a lesson." Sakura added, pressing up against the man's back, her breasts against his neck.

'Wow, his hair is surprisingly soft, even though it looks really spiky.' Sakura thought to herself.

Ino noted with annoyance the dazed look on the old man's face. He checked his cards and grinned, "You think you have Eris's favour, boy? I'll show you the power of luck." Jiraiya called Shikamaru's bet and raised to the exact amount that Shikamaru had.

Everyone else pulled out of the pot, but Shikamaru grinned fiercely and pushed the rest of his chips forward.

"Read 'em and weep, kid." Jiraiya laid down his full house, kings over fives.

Shikamaru looked down at the hand, then back up at the man, and his grin turned downright shit-eating as he turned over his cards. A two, followed by four aces.

Everything is silent for a moment, and then everyone at the table was laughing and cheering; a couple of people clap. Shikamaru sat back as the dealer distributed his winnings.

Lord Jiraiya's expression morphed from dopey incomprehension to accusatory, and the three young shinobi feel the chakra threads between them sever. Jiraiya looked at the two young women as they stepped away from him, then back to the young man.

Finally, Jiraiya grinned and laughed, "Well, young man, you might have the favour of the goddess after all, though I think you'll agree that men like us make our own luck, Mr. Nara."

Shikamaru gave a small bow as he stood, digitally collecting his chips from the table. With a magnanimous smile, Shikamaru walked away. Sakura and Ino also made their departure, lest the old shinobi decide to get them into trouble.

As Shikamaru exited the building—quite a bit richer than he entered it—he spotted a young, short woman, with blue hair and stereotypical 'rogue' 'adventurer's¹ gear,' though slutted up a bit with short shorts, thigh highs, and a simple breast band under a green mantle.

The woman exuded danger, staring directly at him.

"Invoking the goddess of luck while cheating in her casino. You're a daring one, aren't you?" The rogue asked.

Shikamaru slowed to a stop and turned toward the conspicuous woman. He hadn't seen her in the building, meaning she was either watching remotely through the cameras or was ungodly skilled in the art of remaining unseen.

'No point in denying it. If she was here to steal from me, she'd have confronted me elsewhere—or bring backup. Is she truly only carrying a dagger? I don't see any lines indicating cybernetic augmentation. A netrunner?'

"Well," Shikamaru responded, "Sometimes it takes a cheater to beat a cheater. If Eris didn't want me to win, she wouldn't have handed me four aces."

"Hmm, perhaps." The rogue pushed off the wall and sauntered over to him. She was… quite short. An entire head shorter than Shikamaru, so she ended up having to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. "But you do know that this means you owe Lady Eris, don't you?"

"Of course," Shikamaru said without thinking, and he felt as the geas settled over him. He froze, his eyes widening as he reassessed the short woman. A chill filled him and his eyes sharpened as they cut across her form, reassessing.

A geas could compel the person under it to perform a single 'service' for the caster, or a person of the caster's choice. Fortunately for the average person, geasa are beyond human ken, instead the domain of gods, powerful demons, and their most powerful and devout followers.

There was a moment of silence as the rogue's smile widened, "An Arch-priestess?" Shikamaru asked in dismay. Such a powerful entity should have an aura that could be sensed even by people who hadn't trained for most of their life to be able to sense such things.

"Something like that. I do hope that you'll not attempt to cheat the goddess again, Shikamaru Nara." The woman's eyes glowed slightly for a moment.

Shikamaru ignored the words she was speaking in favour of something more important, "I will not be forced to betray my clan or my village, rogue." he said stiffly.

The short woman giggled, "Nothing like that. You'll know what to do when the time is right." She popped up on her tip toes and booped him on the tip of his nose, "I'll be in touch." Then she stepped back and faded into the shadows by the wall, disappearing from sight as she got further away from him.

He couldn't even sense the magic used. A complete concealment ability with no energy traces, a technique that many jonin have trouble with, and most chunin can't perform. She must be insanely powerful, using an unassuming form to catch people off guard.

Shikamaru quickly ran her face through the Leaf Bingo Book system, and it came back with her information: Chris, rogue, a mid-level adventurer registered with the Eris Order, no known gang affiliations, no bounty, no known crimes committed.

Shikamaru flagged the page as needing correction. 'Can cast geas.' He'd have to speak with his father about this, see what his options were, legally. Likely, nothing could be done, unless they could speak to Eris herself or one of her cardinals.

Shikamaru power-walked away, hoping tomorrow would be a little easier on his heart.

Author's note: Are there parts of Naruto, Cyberpunk, or this AU lore that I should be adding to the footnotes? Bits where you were confused what was happening and context clues weren't enough?

Heck, is anyone even reading this? You're all completely radio silent and I'm worried I'm wasting my time making a special version for FF if no one is enjoying it.

Footnotes:

1: Infomercial for the Eris Order Corps of Adventurers

A chipper male voice blares out from the television screen, "Tired of your office job? Want a life of adventure, excitement? Want to actually be rewarded for hard work and your go-getter attitude? Then join the Eris Order Corps of Adventurers!" This is accompanied by a panning shot of a bunch of people dressed like they're in a high-tech renaissance fair.

"By pledging yourself to Eris you get access to thousands of unique skills and abilities without the hassle of having to spend a decade slowly training your mind and body. Instead, with just a signature you can have the ability to disappear into a crowd, throw lightning from your fingertips, and lift swords bigger than you are!" Each item listed has a quick shot of beautiful adventurers performing the actions, though an observant viewer might notice that the actors aren't actual adventures due to their stances and balance being wrong.

"For the low, low price of killing demons, Eris grants us a portion of her power to give us superhuman abilities, amazing magical spells, and affordable healthcare, including Eris approved revival facilities!

"With affordable sign-up costs, simple contracts, and clear paths of progression, more people than ever are quitting their stuffy corporate jobs and finding riches, comrades, and spouses on the field of battle against the Demon Lord!

"So remember, when you're with Eris, luck is always on your side!"