Getting a tattoo was painful, but that was alright.

The pain was her penance.

The big phoenix on her shoulder had been her penance for what had happened to Kat. And the smooth, black lines of writing on the sensitive inside of her forearm were the penance for Cody.

Sky knew she still had to get something for Luke, to mark her skin so that she would never forget how she had failed him, even if the sun rose and set a thousand times and days grew into weeks, months, years. But that had to wait. Today was about Cody.

The sleeve of her Absolutely Fabulous -shirt was rolled up, to reveal the fresh tattoo. It was still wrapped in a thin plastic film, but the text was clearly visible so Sky could easily follow the writing on her sore and sensitive skin with the tip of her finger. Corsican Stars. Just two words, but big enough to reach almost from the crook of her elbow to her wrist, written with Cody's graceful, old-fashioned handwriting.

His message to her. To find him. To find him under the Corsican stars where they had first kissed—

But of course, those weren't really his words. Sky had only heard them in a dream, Cody had never actually written them to her, so she'd had to go through all his letters - the ones from her time in rehab - and stitch the words together from single letters, like putting together the pieces of a puzzle. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start stitching together the pieces of her heart too.

Sky's hand fell and she let out a long sigh. The ache in her chest was constant, it gave her no peace. She knew better than to really think that getting a tattoo would fix what was broken within her.

"You okay?" Hawk's voice and the soft whirring of the tattoo machine brought Sky back into the moment, making her look up from her tattoo.

She cleared her throat, to find her voice. "Yeah. You?"

"Awesome." He flashed her a smile as if he didn't even feel the pain of the needle that was piercing his skin.

He was lying on the table on his stomach, resting his sharp chin on his hands as Rico worked on the tattoo on his back. He was shirtless and Sky couldn't help but notice the shape of his muscled shoulders and arms, so beautiful, so tempting. Her glance glided on his lean torso for a couple of seconds too long, before she could drag her eyes off.

Her cheeks heated, and she quickly turned to look at the framed tattoo designs on the walls. The last thing she needed now was for Hawk to realize she was checking him out. It had been bad enough to let him kiss her outside. A mistake, that's what it had been. A foolish split-second decision, nothing more. She knew she wasn't ready for that yet, so she shouldn't have made him think she was.

This day was supposed to be about Cody, about Sky's penance, not about kissing and confessions of love.

Sky bit her lip, angry and annoyed at herself. Saying she was in love with Hawk— it had been another stupid thing to do, even if it was true. But the truth didn't matter. What right did she have to love anyone, when Cody was dead? What right did she have to move on, when Cody never got to do the same?

The too-full feeling at the back of her throat threatened to turn into tears. Sky's fingers curled around her forearm, her palm pressing tight over the sore skin of her tattoo, transforming the emotional pain into a physical one.

She wasn't going to cry. Not here, not now. She had already cried an ocean these past weeks, and it hadn't done any good. No amount of tears was going to bring Cody back. Nothing would. He was gone, and the only thing she had left of him, were these two words on her skin, and the ache in her heat.

"You can't keep doing this forever, bro," Rico said, his voice drawing Sky back into the moment. She blinked away the lurking tears and looked up, just in time to see how Rico wiped Hawk's back with a cotton wipe that instantly got stained with ink and blood. "Only so much your skin can take. Just pick a color and stick with it."

Hawk glanced at Sky, and his lips curled into a small smile as if he remembered Sky telling him that exact same thing a couple of days ago.

"I know," he said softly. "Maybe I'll stick with the purple. I'm liking the vibe."

Rico placed the needle back onto Hawk's skin and continued his work. The soft whirring of the tattoo machine filled the air, blending into the rock music that was playing in the background.

"And what about the reaper?" Rico asked after a short silence. "You still thinking about covering that up?"

"Yeah," Hawk admitted, making Sky suddenly super aware of this conversation.

He was thinking about covering the reaper? She hadn't known about that, but now that she did— suddenly it felt like there wasn't enough air in this room. Her heartbeat quickened, her head was light. She remembered how the simple design of her name and some stars had looked on his chest, right over his heart. And then, later, the grim reaper— the symbol of death where the symbol of love had once been.

It still hurt. She hated that reaper and everything it represented, and it would be awesome to see it go, but—

What was he going to get instead? Sky pressed her hands on her thighs, her palms suddenly wet, her fingers shaky. She hoped he wasn't thinking about tattooing her name on his chest again. It was way too soon for that.

"It's a shame," Rico pointed out. "That reaper is a badass design."

"It's not about that," Hawk replied, his voice all serious. "It just doesn't feel like me anymore."

Hawk glanced at Sky, his blue eyes dark and wide, and she knew what he was thinking.

That grim reapers were cool and all, until you had to actually deal with them. It wasn't all that badass when someone really died.

"Alright, just let me know when you've decided what you wanna get to cover it," Rico said, turning off the tattoo machine, and leaning back on his chair. "We're ready with this one. I'll just wrap it up and you're good to go."

"Sure. Thanks, bro," Hawk replied, glancing at Rico over his shoulder before he turned his eyes to Sky.

Sky quickly looked down, a sudden nervousness creeping up on her like vines as Rico stood up and walked out of the room, probably to get more of the plastic film he used to wrap the tattoos. She was alone with Hawk—

Suddenly the air felt thick, hard to breathe. They had talked about grabbing a coffee or something after the tattoos were done, but now Sky had an awful feeling that Hawk expected them to continue what they'd been doing at the front door. And would she be able to break the kiss this time? Or would she give in to the wanting that lurked inside her veins even at this moment, and end up doing something incredibly stupid like taking him home and letting him in her bed and—

–and why did that thought almost make her cry?

Hawk loved her, he had told her so, and she loved him, and maybe, maybe, maybe it was finally time to stop resisting?

Maybe it was time that she listened to Dad, and Yas, and Tom, and everyone who kept telling her she needed to stop punishing herself, that her penance was done, that she had paid enough, that she deserved to be happy?

Besides—

Hadn't it been Cody himself, who had told her: "Don't be sad, it's not your fault."

His last wish for her. Don't be sad. Would he really want her to stop living? Would he want her to keep punishing herself for the rest of her life? Cody, who had only ever wanted her to be happy?

In a rare moment of clarity, the truth was clear and loud in Sky's broken, aching heart. She knew that Cody would want her to live.

"Sky, there's something I've been wanting to ask you," Hawk rasped, drawing Sky's eyes back to him, even against her will. "So, rumor has it there's a prom coming up—"

Yes. Sky felt the word growing inside of her chest, on the tip of her tongue. Yes. Maybe it was foolish, maybe it was a mistake, but God, it was a mistake she wanted to make. She wanted happiness, she wanted joy, she wanted the love she saw in Hawk's eyes, wanted the future that could start now, today, in a couple of weeks on the dancefloor at the prom, if she just let herself have it, if she could just find the courage to force out that one, short, huge word. Yes. Yes. Yes, I will go to the prom with you. Yes, I know I'm still broken and scared and messed up, but yes, I want to try, I want to go with you.

But the door opened, and the word died on Sky's lips, she sucked it back down with a trembling breath, clasping her hands together in her lap.

"Tattoo shop's closed for the day," said a voice, and like a punch in the gut, Sky realized it wasn't Rico who had walked into the room.

She would have known that voice anywhere. That mocking laughter she had heard a thousand times, in her nightmares and in the background of the video that had been Cody's death sentence.

Kyler Park.

Sky was on her feet in a nanosecond. The panicked heartbeat in her throat stole her breath away, as the Cobras burst into the room.

"Run! Sky, run!" Cried Hawk, his voice breaking as he jumped onto his feet, but Sky couldn't move.

It was all happening too fast, she was too broken, too slow, too stupid, and just like that Tory was on her, the scent of her sweat and her cheap perfume filled Sky's senses, and her fist smashed against Sky's face, making her head slam against the wall.

Sorry I've been gone for so long. Work's been murder. I try to update more frequently now that it's summer.