37
Being flirted with
It ended...
The relationship between Aontakam and me collapsed like a sand castle washed away by the waves. The only thing left is my aching heart. She didn't try to hold on to me. And I didn't look back.
Ah.. it truly ended, and that shall remain the case.
It's strange that I don't sob my eyes out like the previous times. I just sit still and cry from time to time. I don't starve myself. I go to work like usual, as if nothing happened. Everyone on the team saw the news, but no one dared ask any questions, except for one.
"Chris, how's it going?"
One morning, as I'm about to go to work, Puth can't stand my casual demeanor any longer. He pops by my bedroom to ask me this. It's lucky that I have my clothes on. But, never mind; Puth has always been like this.
"What do you mean?"
"Aontakam and you."
"It's over."
"…"
Puth appears to feel guilty, so I laugh at him.
"Why do you make that face? You're acting like the world is about to fall apart."
"I can explain about the clip." Puth walks into my room and sits on my bed. "I know that you must think that I did it."
"No. That thought never crossed my mind."
"Why not? That's the obvious conclusion. The only person who saw the clip of Aontakam and you was me. If I didn't post it, who did?"
"You want to be found guilty? I don't want to find out, yet you want to talk about it? Are you crazy?"
Though I say that, Puth still appears as if lie's about to cry. I explain to my brother what I think and understand it to be.
"I know you didn't do it because you love me too much... If you did it, you would have censored my face." I shrug nonchalantly. "I was mad at you at first. Very mad... Though you told me that you would delete it, it came out. Either you have it stored on your phone, or you kept it with the intention of using it to tease me in the future."
"You know me too well." Puth sits with his back hunched. I walk over to pat him on the back to console him.
"It's okay. You don't have to feel guilty."
"I really didn't do it. And the person who did, I already broke up with her."
"So, it's Earn?" I feel bad for her... She probably didn't think it through. She must have felt my pain when she saw that Aontakarn prioritized A over me.
She wanted to get revenge on Aontakam, forgetting to think about all the consequences because she's immature.
"I admit that I was very angry with Aontakarn, so I told her about it. Who would have thought that she... would be so stupid as to steal the clip from my computer and post it on social media?"
"Like you said, a relationship between two women won't last. Either Aontakam or I will go back to liking men one day anyway. It's just faster than I expected. I feel bad for Earn... Don't break up with her."
Puth's eyes well up with tears. He adoringly wipes them off with the back of his hands.
"Don't be such a good person. You should scream at me. At least do something so that I feel less guilty."
"I know that there's no point in doing that. I hope you will really delete the clip if something like this ever happens again."
I made sure he knew that I was serious about the last sentence. It makes Puth nod eagerly.
"Yes, sir."
Ah... I'm more calm than I thought I would be. I'm facing Earn, the person who posted the clip of me having a pleasurable time with Aontakarn, and I can still look at the person with striking features adoringly. She appears to feel very bad for what she did and is ready to cry at any second. I have to try not to laugh. But what's worse is the garland she prepared to formally apologize to me.
"Can I do the Thai traditional dance to express my apology to you and show you how guilty I feel?"
Is she really here to apologize to me? I want to laugh out loud, geez...
"You don't have to go that far. I told Puth already that I get it."
"No. Earn has to apologize to you for complicating your relationship and ruining it!"
Puth pushes Earn's head down. I don't know what to do, so I just scratch my head.
"You're so overboard. I already told you to forget it."
"Let Earn at least do one dance for you."
I quickly put my hand up to stop them and seriously begged them to stop. Damned. Are they here to apologize to me or make me laugh?
"If you dance, I will really be angry with you. Please look around. This is a restaurant, not a school theater."
I say that to them seriously and cross my arms across my chest, so Earn and Puth dismiss the idea of dancing as an apology. They sit opposite me timidly.
"Let me apologize to you for what I did. I didn't think it through, and I couldn't stand that Miss Karn prioritized someone who came later over you, so I did it."
"If you really want to dance to express how sorry you are, you should dance to Aontakarn. I'm not that troubled by it because I'm a nobody. She's the one on TV. She has to announce the news and is the face of our clips."
"What clips? There will be no more." Puth says that nonchalantly as we talk about Aontakam because he's still mad at her for what she did to me.
"What do you mean?"
"Just that. Aside from announcing the news, she won't be the face of anything else. She called Jeth yesterday to pull out of AppTalk. She's no longer a part of our company. That's good. So you won't feel uncomfortable. If I have to choose between that woman and you, I choose you."
I get frustrated when I hear that. Initially, I did not feel angry, but I am currently gasping for air because I cannot stand the fact that Puth couldn't care less about Aontakarn.
"And you just let her go?"
"She wants to pull out. What can we do?"
"What will she do if she pulls out?"
"Read the news. She will be an actress too, no? She doesn't need our website anymore."
Bang!
I slam my hand on the table angrily. Puth and Earn are startled when they see me suddenly do that. They blink blankly, trying to understand what's going on.
"Don't talk like that. The person who's in the deepest sh*t is Kam. She's the face in front of the camera. Everybody knows her. Even if she's not a famous actress like others, she's known. What about the people around her that she has to work with? Isn't all this bad enough for her? Why do you have to step on her?"
"Hey. I'm on your side. Why are you mad at me? Did you forget that Aontakarn prioritized someone else over you? Did you forget how much she hurt you?"
"It's not her fault. She has a dream. It was my fault for getting in her way!"
Everybody goes silent as the scream gets louder. The owner, the waiter, and all the customers go quiet.
"You love her too much."
"And I will continue to love her like this!"
I tried not to feel anything, and I thought I did that well. But in the end, when I know that Aontakarn may be in a tough situation, I'm worried about her. I worry about how she's living her life. She has no one. She only had her mother... who had already passed away.
Ah... I haven't asked Aontakarn seriously where all her family members go.
And I'm so anxious and at a loss that I'm hiding in a corner in front of Aontakam's house. I look at the lights after the sky goes dark. I'm so worried about her. She's a woman living in a house alone without anyone to take care of her...
10 p.m...
11 p.m...
Click.
And the lights go out. I continue to look on until I'm sure that the petite woman is sleeping before I go home. If we were still together, I would spend the night with her. But we don't have any status now, so I can only watch over her from the front of her house.
And I will continue to watch over her like this.
Yes... I do as I say. These past few days, I haven't headed straight home after work. I will stop by to watch over Aontakarn from afar. I know her schedule well. I know what time the petite woman will be home. From my observation, there is no European car to pick her up and drop her off like before, which surprises me. But I have no right to ask her anything. I will get home around midnight every night. Eventually, Puth couldn't stand it, and he had to ask me about it.
"Why are you home so late every day? Did you get a second job at a night hangout... Ouch, mom. That's a saldine that you threw at me!"
Even my mother, who's at the table eating, couldn't stand what Puth just said.
"How could you ask your sister that kind of question? She's a lady."
"Puth wants to know what's going on!" Puth, who tends to use his name instead of 'I' when he wants to ask for tenderness from our parents, makes me twist my mouth. Why is he so rude to his sister? He's ruder than the sandpaper used on cement.
"I'm an adult now. I can do whatever I want and go wherever I want. Even my parents don't ask me these questions."
"Actually, I was going to ask you as well, but Puth beat me to it." My father interrupts. I have to go quiet and hunch my back. I lie to end the conversation.
"I go to see Meen because I'm bored."
"Why are you bored?"
"I'm heartbroken."
"You had a lover?"
Because my parents are old and they don't really use the Internet, they didn't see their daughter's clip. It's good that Aontakarn is not that famous, so it didn't make the news on TV like that photo of a lead actor lying in bed with a woman without his shirt on.
But though she's not famous, it surely affected her work.
When Puth hears that, he throws me his car key and goes back to eating his food. I glance at my brother a bit and ask with a deep voice full of distrust.
"What's this?"
"A car key."
"What I meant was, "Why did you throw it to me?"
"I let you borrow it. You're a woman. It's not safe to be out and about at night. At least drive your own car."
"It's okay. I will buy one."
"Return it to me after you do."
"What will you use in the meantime?"
"There are plenty of options. I'm a man. It's a lot easier for me. Don't ask too many questions. It's a kind act. Would you rather I kick you out of your chair?"
I look at my brother gratefully. Though he has a big mouth, he never stops loving and adoring me.
My brother is the brother of the year.
"Ah... do you know that there will be a new hire to replace Aontakarn today?"
I can feel my face tighten when I hear that. I'm very unhappy about this. Because that position is Aontakam's and Aontakarn's only. She built the website with us. Why is someone reaping the benefits of her hard work? Instead of being grateful, I'm back to being furious.
"Ah-huh."
"Be nice to her... She's beautiful."
"So?"
"In case you like her."
I bite my lips in annoyance. Puth laughs merrily when he sees that. He pulls me by the collar to make me get up.
"Let's go to work, sis. You can catch a ride with me. No. Let me catch a ride with you. You have the car key now." Puth leads the way and walks out of the house merrily. "I'm so excited. There will be a new kid today. In case my sister gets a new wife... ouch. You kicked the person who just lent you his car? So ungrateful!"
"Geez!"
And the new hire Puth talked about this morning arrives. Tho was the one who recruited her. He said that she's a graduate from a famous university and a net idol. She's a bit taller than Aontakarn. She has a cute face, very fair skin, good manners, and a beautiful voice that doesn't have any nasal tone.
So annoying...
"If you could, I would greatly appreciate some guidance. If I do anything wrong, please let me know. Cate is here to learn and will do my best."
After the beauty pageant introduction (that's the manner in which she introduced herself), she bends down politely. Everyone is overly excited about the new hire and claps to cheer her on. I'm not particularly engaged because I'm not one to get excited about a new hire. So I just clap a little out of good manners.
"Chris. Please be her mentor." Tho tells me this because he saw that I didn't say much during the introduction. I simply nod without saying anything. I just want the meeting to end.
I want to go home.
"Miss Chris."
The new hire calls me as I'm walking to the elevator. I heard it but pretended that I didn't. I cross my arms across my chest and stand still rather than turn back to look at her. I'm frustrated.
I'm frustrated, even though Cate didn't do anything wrong.
"Miss Chris, do you hate me?"
Gasp!
I was startled when I heard the question the new hire blurted out. I turn to look at her in panic. It's the same question that Aontakarn asked me the first time we worked together. When I hear that, I go from being frustrated to adoring and feeling sorry for her. I no longer pretend not to hear her.
"No. I'm sorry. I was thinking about something."
"Ah... Good. I thought you pretended not to hear me."
"Why would I do that?"
"I heard that you were very close to the previous announcer, so I was afraid that you would dislike me for taking her place. You didn't say anything in the meeting as well. You didn't give any hint as to how you feel."
"You're very observant."
"I want to be your friend."
I smile slightly and nod. Okay. She's being friendly. There's no reason for me to reject her friendship. Having a friend is better than having an enemy.
"Sure. We have to work together for a long time. How can we not be friends?"
"You're smiling. You're very cute when you smile." I scratch my cheek shyly when I hear that. "Please smile a lot."
"Huh?"
"Your smile makes me feel good."
Ding!
Eventually, the elevator I'd been waiting for arrives. I sweep my hand to signal for Cate to get in first, but she shakes her head.
"I'm not taking the elevator. I just wanted to have a talk with you. See you later."
"Okay."
"Miss Chris."
I press the elevator's open button and look curiously at the person who had just called me.
"I meant it. Your smile makes me feel good."
The new hire repeats that to me before she turns and walks back to the office. I have to ponder what she just said.
Is she flirting with me?