A/N: Special thanks to Midnight Lost for his contributions. Reviews, Feedback, and constructive criticism are always welcome.
Chapter Thirteen: Estimated Public Release date, June 20th.
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In loving memory of Stan Lee. Thank you for the creation of many favorite heroes and stories. Excelsior!
Chapter Twelve: Flaring Tempers.
"What a pleasant day. Feels nice to enjoy the quiet." Mused one Iruka Umino as he walked down the village streets with his hands in his pockets. Since it was summer vacation at the Academy, he now had a lot more free time on his hands for the moment. Usually he would keep himself busy by working at the Mission Assignment office to fill in the extra time.
He decided to pay a visit to Ichiraku's, which happened to be around the corner as he found himself craving their famed ramen. He turned the corner to approach the beloved establishment… only for his eyes to almost bug out of his head as he saw a line of people that seemed to stretch on and on and on, all the way down towards the end of the street as far as the eye could see.
"The hell? They having some kind of sale or promotion?" The scarred Chunin asked himself as he approached the beloved establishment to see what all the fuss was about. He came up to the front of the line and asked one of the waiting customers "Excuse me, what's going on? What's the deal with this huge line?"
A Civilian man turned towards the Academy Teacher and responded "It's the craziest thing! Ichiraku's has a new waitress that insults you, shouts profanities and bullies you! Everyone is lining up just to see her! I've been standing in line for three hours now myself! It's worth the wait though! That girl has got some major firepower when it comes to trash talk and insults. Some of my buddies were absolutely raving about her performance and that she never seems to run out of material!"
At this news, the Chunin couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as he tried to process this information. Ichiraku's, which was famous for its ramen and hospitality, had hired a new waitress that was being paid to verbally abuse customers? He couldn't tell which was stranger, that old man Teuchi actually went through with this idea or that the customers were actually enjoying the experience. Who would actually want to be verbally abused by someone, and pay money to do so?
It just didn't make any sense to him, even so, there was no denying that it seemed to be wildly successful. He kind of had to admit, his curiosity had been somewhat aroused given the long line and sudden popularity. A part of him was considering joining the line, but was interrupted as the form of Ayame appeared from the Ramen stand as she shouted as loud as she could "Sorry everyone! Ichiraku's is now closed! We ran out of food for the day! That's it! Ichiraku's is now closed! Sorry for the inconvenience!"
There was a collective groan of disappointment, followed by promises to return the next day to come and see this new waitress before the crowd dispersed in a quiet and efficient manner with many people longingly looking towards the famous ramen stand. Ayame sighed as she wiped her forehead, seemingly relieved that the work day was over. She then took notice of the Chunin teacher and spoke in an apologetic tone "Oh, hey Iruka-san. Sorry but we ran out of ingredients. You'll have to come again tomorrow."
"Ichiraku's running out of food? That's something I never thought I'd hear. I just heard you hired a new waitress. When did that happen?" The Scarred Chunin asked out of curiosity as he scratched his cheek with a lone finger.
"Literally today." the brunette waitress replied in point-blank manner, which made the Academy Teacher gape at her in disbelief.
"Seriously? Just today and she became such a hit?" He asked, which earned a nod from the waitress.
"Yes. Seriously. I stepped out to run a quick errand, and then when I came back, we were suddenly swamped with customers who wanted to see her. Suffice it to say, our stores of ingredients were wiped out. You should see the crazy amount of tips that she got too!" She stated in equal disbelief.
"I don't get it. People really enjoy this girl insulting them?" Iruka asked as he scratched his head… were people really that masochistic? He wasn't aware that this was something that could be considered popular.
"Apparently so. I don't really understand it either but here we are. At any rate, if you don't mind, I gotta help with the cleanup." The waitress spoke as she ducked into the ramen stand, leaving behind a bewildered Chunin.
He hummed thoughtfully and was about to leave until he heard a loud bang and a pained cry come from within the Ramen stand. Without thinking, he rushed in and saw an unfamiliar waitress was currently twisting the arm of one of the last remaining customer's behind his back, with said customers struggling as he tried to break her grip to no avail.
"Where the flying fuck do you think you're going shit-for-brains?! Thought you could run off without paying? Think again!" The unknown waitress shouted angrily.
"Owwwww! Let go of me! Oww! Ok! I'll pay! I'll pay! Just let go!" The dine-and-dasher shouted with tears brimming in his eyes.
"What? Do you think I'm some brainless bimbo, you dumb-fuck? You think I'm just gonna let go and give you a chance to run? Fuck no! You have two hands, don't you?! Use your free hand to pull out your wallet or else I'm gonna drag you across the counter and dunk your head into that giant pot of boiling water!" She shouted and gestured towards the aforementioned pot.
The other remaining customers sat calmly in their seats as they consumed their respective bowls, watching the scene play out before them. "Whoa. Who needs security when you got this badass bitch on duty!" One of the customers complimented with a big grin.
The dine-and-dasher fished around in his pockets as he pulled out his wallet and tossed on the counter as he whimpered out "There! Take it! Please! Just lemme go! You're breaking my arm!"
In the background, both of the Ichiraku's watched this scene as well. It wasn't often that they got someone that would try to run out on the bill, but it did happen sometimes... though it seems that would no longer be a problem now.
The unknown waitress then glanced over to the Academy Teacher and spoke directly to him "Hey, you! You're a ninja right? Quit staring like some worthless cuckold and do your fucking job already! Aren't you gonna arrest this motherfucker?! Dine-and-dashing is a form of theft, isn't it?!"
The Chunin blinked a few times, not really sure how to respond to this situation. This was not at all how he had pictured his afternoon would go. After a moment, he finally came up with a response "Ah. Yes, I'll take care of it. But, could you please let go of him first?"
"What's wrong? Can't arrest him while he's in my custody? Fine! I'll do the fucking job for you!" The new waitress shouted as she then put the thief into a sleeper hold, and the struggling stopped as the man went limp.
The 'waitress' dropped him on the ground with a loud thud as she then picked up the thief's wallet and quickly removed all the cash that was inside before tossing the now empty wallet onto the dine-and-dasher's unconscious form.
"Geez. With Ninjas as useless as you, it's no wonder Orochimaru invaded Konoha so easily during the Chunin exams." The unknown 'waitress' muttered disdainfully, earning a frown from the scarred man.
"Hey now. That's kind of uncalled for. Who are you anyway?" Iruka spoke in a defensive tone, feeling insulted at being called 'useless'.
One of the remaining customers laughed and piped in "That's Kaya-San! Ichiraku's new waitress! She's utterly superb at her job!"
Another customer nodded as he finished his final bowl and then spoke in a jovial voice "Hell yeah! Watch this! Hey, Kaya-san, would you go out on a date with me?"
The unknown waitress gave the man a withering stare and then replied in a venomous voice that dripped with contempt "Fuck off, you disgusting piece of shit. Get outta here before I throw you out, fucking pigshit asshole."
"Haha! I dunno what kind of acting lessons she took, but this girl took her skills to a whole 'nother level. You rock Kaya-San!" Another customer said with a big smile and a thumbs-up.
The scarred Chunin blinked his eyes a few times as he muttered in a deadpan tone "Was she seriously acting though?" The remaining customers finished their respective bowls and placed their payments on the counter, as well as some very generous tips for the new waitress.
As they all departed, the Chunin found himself staring at this 'Kaya' person with a scrutinizing gaze as she collected the money and began counting the tips that had been left for her. "Hey. Useless. Quit staring at me like I'm a damn piece of shitty artwork and fuck off out of here. We're closed. Now do something mildly fucking useful and take the food thief with you." The new waitress spoke with a sneer.
"Oi. Oi. There's no need for that Kaya-san. Iruka's one of our regulars." Teuchi spoke in a somewhat chiding tone of voice, which only made the disguised Kunoichi scoff.
"I wouldn't care if he was the bitch-boy of all the Hokages." She muttered while pocketing her tips, which made the ramen chef sigh.
"Sorry about that Iruka-san. Kaya is... an acquired taste. Still, she does make a valid point. We are closed so I will have to ask you to leave now." Teuchi stated with a sigh as he slumped down into a nearby chair, the Ramen Chef being clearly exhausted after the day's work.
Iruka quirked up an eyebrow, sighing to himself as he picked up the unconscious food thief since he had no further reason to stay. All the while, he couldn't help but quietly fume at how that girl had referred to him as 'Useless'. Where the hell did she even get off on telling him that?
Once the scarred Chunin was gone, 'Kaya' released the Henge with a sigh. For crying out loud, between escaping the coma ward, saving Ayame, and now having survived a full shift as a fake waitress, The Flute User found herself on the brink of collapse at this point of time.
Ayame poked her head outside the stand and flipped a sign so that it now read 'Closed' to keep people away before she re-entered the stand and addressed the Ex-Oto Kunoichi "I cannot believe how popular you were Tayuya-san. I don't think we've ever run out of ingredients like that before, and we serve a lot of customers with huge appetites."
The crimson haired girl simply shrugged her shoulders as she replied "Yeah. Weird huh? A lot of perverts and masochists must live around here. Did they really think it was all an act?" She asked at the end, wondering why people found her insults and cursing to be amusing.
It didn't seem to matter how crass or vulgar or mean she was, people seemed to enjoy the verbal abuse and even asked her for more. It was kind of weird for her.
"Perhaps they think that there is no way a person can be... well... like you. Your over-the-top cursing and insults may appear to be some sort of act to them." Teuchi spoke thoughtfully as he leaned back in his seat as he got his second wind.
"I'm curious. Why are you so crass and rude Tayuya-san? I'm not meaning to judge but... I just can't see the necessity in behaving in such a way." Ayame asked out or curiosity, her question earning a conflicted look from the Flute User.
"I don't want to talk about it. Okay? Though... I will say I wasn't always... like this." The redhead muttered in a surprisingly somber tone. She then suddenly got a strange tingling sensation in her head, communicating some form of danger. Without even thinking, she performed the Henge technique once again, changing her hair back to brown.
Before the Ichiraku's could even question why she put the Henge back on, someone unexpectedly entered the Ramen stand, revealing the form of Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin, who plopped himself down in a stool, a bottle of pills in his hand as he spoke in a squeaky voice "Large Miso Ramen."
The Ichiraku's glanced at each other, trying not to laugh at the Sannin's new high pitched voice with Teuchi replying "My apologies Jiraiya-san, but we are closed. The sign outside says so."
"Eh? Closed? Why?" The Sannin asked in disbelief, he had never ever heard of the beloved establishment ever being closed barring the rare occasion that Teuchi was sick.
"Well, we recently hired a new waitress, just today, and she became so popular that before we knew it, we had run out of ingredients for the day." The Ramen Chef explained with a chuckle, his words making the Sannin tilt his head in confusion... until he took notice of an unfamiliar face within the Ramen stand.
The Toad User gave a smile that made the Flute User's skin crawl. She knew full well who the man was. Orochimaru talked about his fellow Sannin often, and had repeatedly remarked about how Jiraiya might be a far more formidable Shinobi if he weren't such a pervert. Sheesh, talking about the pot calling the kettle black, especially given old Pedomaru's tastes.
The Toad Sannin then popped open the bottle of pills and downed one in a single gulp. The disguised Kunoichi tilted her head to read the label... huh... it seems he was taking some sort of testosterone pills. Judging by the date on the label, it seemed that he had acquired them quite recently.
"Really? Kind of a shame, I really could have used a pick-me-up. I know, how about we go somewhere together sweetheart?" The Toad User asked, trying to be flirtatious with the disguised Kunoichi.
She turned her nose up at him and replied "Piss off. Even if you weren't having problems with your junk, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of slumming it with some crusty old man that gets his jollies by chasing after young girls. Fucking hell, and people say that Orochimaru is a motherfucking pedophile. Can't help but notice that you're taking testosterone. That and the squeaky voice kinda tells me that you're now a Eunuch, yeah? I should know. I castrated a few guys in the past that tried to fucking touch me and they all ended up just like you. Sad, alone, overcompensating, and worthless."
The Toad Sannin stared at the girl, a stunned look upon his face. He had not expected the girl to call him out on his current... problem. Not only that, but she had not just called him out on it, but insulted him quite viciously, even going so far as to compare him to his long-time rival. "What's the matter? Got nothing to say? Look at you, a useless over-the-hill Shinobi way past your prime, trying to cling to past glory because you have no further value or use to anyone. Just a sick fucking pervert with no hopes, no aspirations, that can only think about himself and getting his rocks off. Oh, wait. You don't have the stones anymore." The fake waitress spoke disdainfully as she continued the verbal barrage, with a sneer.
Jiraiya glowered at 'Kaya' as he responded angrily "I don't think you know who you're talking to. I'm Jiraiya, the Toad Sannin. I trained the Yondaime Hokage. I served in the Shinobi war and survived against Hanzo the Salamander."
The Flute user clapped her hands slowly and mockingly, an unimpressed look on her face as she replied "whoop-dee-fucking-doo shitface. Congrats. You lost a three-on-one fight and trained a guy that didn't make it past his first year of being Hokage. Such greeeeeat contributions you have made. Girls must have lined up to suck you off and sing your praises... after you paid them to do it. Once you're dead and gone, the only thing people will remember about you is your crappy porn books, and a while after that your books will be forgotten too. Given your reputation, I'm amazed at the fact you aren't facing any lawsuits for peeping or sexual harassment. Makes me wonder who's dick you've been spit-polishing to protect your wrinkly old ass."
Suddenly, the Sannin reached over the counter and grabbed her by the throat as he spoke just barely above a whisper while releasing his Killing Intent "You just don't know when to shut your filthy mouth, do you? I'm still a big name in Konoha, and I can make your life very miserable." He expected the girl to fold under the pressure... but instead she gave a strange grin, her eyes lacking any sort of fear.
"Go ahead. Do your worst. I've already lived in fear once, I'm not about to let it rule my life ever again. Heh, you must have a really fragile fucking ego if you gotta resort to this, like a little bitch. Guess this means I hit the nail on the head." She replied defiantly as she casually flipped the bird to the Toad User. The atmosphere became tense as both the former Oto-Kunoichi and the Sannin stared each other down... until the sound of a loud metallic clang interrupted them, making them both look and see the form of Teuchi having used a ladle and pan to make the noise in order to get their attention.
"Now that's enough! Jiraiya! I want you to leave! Right now! I will not have you lay a hand on her! Get out or I'll be taking this directly to the Hokage!" The Ramen Chef spoke in an enraged tone, his words making the Toad Sannin release 'Kaya' from his grip and turn to leave. He then glared at the Flute User once more over his shoulder, almost as if silently promising that they weren't finished yet.
The self-proclaimed Pervert gave one final scoff and then left at long last, prompting Ayame to quickly rush forward and pull down a set of shutters to close up the Ramen Stand and prevent anyone else from intruding, in hindsight, she should have done that much sooner, maybe then this turn of events could have been prevented.
"Are you okay Tayuya-san?" The brunette asked out of concern as the ex-Oto Kunoichi released her Henge once again, allowing her hair to take on it's natural red color.
"I'm fine. Not that I needed the save, but thanks anyway Old man." Tayuya responded as she rubbed her throat. In the background, Teuchi frowned as he set aside his cookware and crossed his arms over his chest as he could only shake his head.
"Of course. While you're under our roof, I'll do my utmost best to see to your safety. Though I think I should point out, and I'm not judging you, that you should be more mindful about who you speak to and how far you take your insults and rudeness. Jiraiya is still a powerful and capable Shinobi and could be dangerous." The Ramen Chef pointed out, earning a huff from the redhead.
"Please. I was stuck under Orochimaru's thumb for a good and long time. A washed up creep like Jiraiya doesn't scare me in the slightest." The Flute user responded with a sneer.
"I understand that, and while I have no doubt you can handle yourself, please be more considerate to us. We are Civilians, not battle hardened Shinobi. Please. For the sake of my daughter, conduct yourself with a little more care." Teuchi spoke as he gestured towards Ayame.
This made the red-haired girl pause as she pursed her lips as she stared at the brunette waitress. She then slumped a little as she replied "I'm sorry. You're right. I... I just... I've been dealing with creeps like that for so long... I just can't... I can't help it." The Flute User spoke as her hands began to shake, her body trembling with a quiet fury.
"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Just please be careful." The Civilian Waitress spoke with a kind smile, prompting her father to nod in agreement with a broad grin of his own.
"Just so long as you don't cross the line, then it's all water under the bridge. Now then, we should prepare ourselves for tomorrow. I think we can expect a lot of customers to come to see our lovely new waitress 'Kaya'." Teuchi responded as he bellowed with laughter, causing the two women to nod as they went about cleaning everything in preparation for tomorrow.
Tayuya didn't mind helping out, in fact, she kind of enjoyed it seeing as how she was no stranger to hard work. Hell, this was practically a vacation for her. She had a roof over her head, the Ichiraku's were nice to her, and she even got paid to yell at people. It was actually kind of nice.
She may have probably taken things too far with Jiraiya, but she couldn't help but feel that someone needed to chew him out and call him on his bullshit. Still, if he made another move on her, she wouldn't hesitate to protect herself... and if he tried anything to the Ichiraku's, then consequences be damned, she would make him pay dearly.
At least for the time being, her identity was safe and she could enjoy a bit of peace before she began her search for the Shinigami's mask and hopefully free herself from Orochimaru at long last. Now that she thought about it, dealing with one Sannin was bad enough as it was, but two? That could be a whole other mess of trouble.
Meanwhile.
Anko sighed to herself as she combed through the Konoha Archives. After having been given the order/mission to find the Shinigami's mask, she wasted no time to begin her search. If there was any official record of this mask or where it might be hidden, then it was possible that there might be a hint somewhere in the archives. Even if it wasn't... she had to start somewhere.
She sighed to herself as she sipped at a cup of coffee, humming as she worked her way through a number of folders. Whoever ran the filing system back in the day, they did a really shit job since most of this crap was largely left unorganized. Sloppy work. In the T&I division, one can easily become a laughingstock for not keeping accurate and organized records, especially since information was practically their bread and butter.
There were almost no records dating back to the Shodaime's tenure as Hokage that were still readable. Though to be fair, this was during a period of time when the village was only just being built and the foundation was laid out. As for records from the Nidaime's time, well... there was a major war going on so most of the records from that time were a jumbled mess that never got properly sorted out and were left to gather dust.
The Snake Mistress was surprised at the fact that there were a lot of records that appeared to have been scrubbed or redacted by the Nidaime himself. From what she knew, the Senju brothers were like night and day in both personality and temperament. The Shodaime Hashirama was known to have a cheerful and perhaps-too-open type of personality, though his brother Tobirama was stoic and calculating.
Then again, the Nidaime was (in)famously known for inventing many Forbidden Techniques, one of the most dangerous being the Edo Tensei. Why he would create such a technique, she didn't know, but was certain that the man must have a lot of dirty laundry, especially given how many records that he had censored. This raised the question, was his intent to hide or to protect something?
She understood that the Hokages, past, present, and future have done and will have to do things that cannot go on public record and were definitely questionable... though at what point did they draw the line? At what point would it be considered that they have gone 'too far'? Bah. She had more important things to worry about than politics. She had to find an obscure and powerful artifact that probably had little to no records of its existence and she had over a centuries worth of files and documents to go through. This was going to be a while.
It might be a good idea to get a fresh cup of coffee, Kami knows how many times that the caffeine helped her get through the mind-numbing process of paperwork. Luckily, there was a coffee machine just one floor up that was available for use. Anko grabbed up a few folders to take with her to continue reading while she waited for her coffee to brew.
After ascending up a short flight of stairs and turning a corner, she almost bumped into someone and found herself staring at the form of Iruka Umino. "Anko? I didn't realize you were back in the village. I heard you were chasing after Orochimaru... again." he said in a surprised tone of voice since it wasn't uncommon for her to vanish for weeks at a time whenever she went searching for her old mentor any time she got a potential lead.
"Yeah. I just recently got back. I'm working on a new assignment now, personally given by Tsunade-sama. Sorry for almost crashing into you." She apologized as she walked around him and made her way to the break room where the coffee machine was waiting for her, one that she had used many times during her career in the T&I department, it was almost like an old friend to her in some ways.
The scarred Chunin followed after her as he spoke "That's okay. I was kinda distracted. At Ichiraku's there's this new waitress that is crazy popular. She is rude and foul-mouthed but the customers loved her for some reason. I just dropped off a food thief that she had restrained." This made the Dango lover roll her eyes since she didn't really ask about it, though this new waitress sounded like a girl after her own heart. It was always nice to see someone not take any shit from somebody else.
"How nice." The Snake Mistress replied in a disinterested tone of voice as she made her way into the rather conveniently placed break room as she placed the files she was carrying down onto a table and then set about brewing a fresh batch of coffee.
"She called me useless. Can you believe that? She had the nerve to call me 'useless'. Where does she get off on saying that to me?" The Academy Teacher complained, causing the Snake Mistress to roll her eyes. Why was he even talking to her about this? Contrary to whatever he may think, she did in fact, have much more important things to do such as find an artifact that could finally end Orochimaru's existence.
"As nice as it would be to chat, I'm kinda busy right now." She stated bluntly as she jabbed a thumb in the direction of the files she had set down, with the Chunin only just now noticing their existence.
"You were in the archives?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow, earning a nod from the Dango lover as she began the process of making her favorite coffee. The Chunin teacher made a small 'hmm' sound as he approached the files and flipped one open out of curiosity as he then asked her "Are you looking for anything specific?"
"Believe it or not, I'm looking for a mask. In the Forbidden Scroll there's an entry that talks about the Shinigami's Mask, let's you summon the damned Death God itself to do your bidding. Me and Tsunade are banking on the possibility of finding this thing, and using it to finally put Orochimaru into the grave, permanently." She explained with a smirk, very much eager to make this possibility a reality.
The Snake Mistress then got an idea as she asked "Hey, Academy's out right now, yeah? Would you mind helping me out with this? It'd be way faster with a little help. Please? You would literally be saving my life here." She requested in a sincere tone, especially since it was NOT an exaggeration given that she felt her Curse Mark pulsing a bit right now.
"I'm sorry, but I can't. I have a shift at the Mission Assignment office coming up." He replied and then began to walk away, which made the Dango lover look at him in confusion. She and Iruka were colleagues and have known each other for a while, while they weren't exactly close friends or anything, she couldn't think of a reason why he would brush her off, especially given how important this assignment was both to her on a personal level and that it would be good for the village if the matter of the rogue Snake Sannin was finally put to rest.
"Uhhh, can't you like, call out? Just tell them you're assisting with an S-rank mission that the Hokage wants done. I'm pretty sure finding a way to finally kill Orochimaru is way more important than pushing papers and stamping mission scrolls all day." She pointed out, hoping to convince him. She really could use the extra help, not to mention that ending the threat of the Rogue Sannin would make the village, if not the entire Shinobi Nations a lot safer.
The Chunin teacher cleared his throat and shuffled nervously on his feet as he stammered and seemed to be trying to come up with some sort of excuse. She glared at him, wondering what his problem was, she was practically handing him a golden opportunity to help both her and the village and he was trying to flake out on her? What was the deal with that? Growing annoyed with his hesitance, she decided not to even bother giving him a chance to say anything as she spoke to him in an irritated tone "You know what? Forget I asked. Kami, you're useless."
At this, the Chunin could only stare blankly as he was stunned by her words. As the Snake Mistress turned to pour herself a cup of freshly brewed coffee the Academy Teacher, he stared into her back and then asked with a low growl to his voice "I'm useless?! Useless?! I help teach the next generation of Shinobi! What is it that you do? Go on wild goose chases? You've been trying to track down Orochimaru for years and came up with nothing!"
This made Anko stiffen up as she clenched her fists, her knuckles turning white as she spit back venomously "Not for lack of trying. I promise. He has always been one of the most slippery bastards in the business. You know, back in the Chunin Exams, I was so close, SO FUCKING CLOSE, to finally killing him. I was going to sacrifice my own life with the Twin Snake Sacrifice technique just to kill him, but then of course he switched with a fucking Mud Clone. You have no idea how infuriating it was to finally have him within arms reach and being but a few seconds from killing him, and then he fucking dupes me!"
"How convenient. You happen to find him and you try to kill him, and he gets away from you?" The Academy Teacher spoke mockingly as he crossed his arms, which made the Snake Mistress glare at him with a scowl.
"Something you want to say to me? Then say it to my face." She demanded angrily, with the Scarred Chunin now falling silent as he nervously licked his lips, realizing that he had just stepped on a land mine. In response to his silence, she slowly nodded her head as she fumed and muttered "Yeah. That's what I figured. I should have known. You're just another asshole that thinks I'm some sleeper agent for Orochimaru. That I'm the 'little snake whore'. I didn't choose to be marked, and I damn sure don't want to be his meat suit. I look forward to the day I finally end the bastard and get the last laugh on him and all of you judgmental fucks!"
She then inhaled deeply and continued to speak "I don't just 'go on wild goose chases'. Don't forget I work for the T&I Department. I deal with criminals, Rogue Nin and the worst kinds of scum you can't imagine, sometimes I get to torture them for information that could help save lives and protect the village. You? You prattle on with your history lectures and oversee school yard fights that you call 'sparring sessions'.
You don't actually teach the kids anything worthwhile that could help save their skins out in the field. You don't teach them any real forms of Taijutsu or Shinobi techniques, no, no, you just leave all that for the Jonin to pick up on your slack. Oh, and one other thing… I'm a higher rank than you 'Chunin'."
She then spat in the Chunin's face and took the whole pot of coffee with her after gathering up her files to make a hasty retreat back to the Archives. "Good luck chasing after ghost stories and dusty old laboratories!" Iruka yelled at her from behind her back as she made her way down the flight of stairs back to the Archives, all the while grumbling to herself about 'lazy-ass Chunin'.
She then paused for a second as she mouthed the word 'laboratories'. It then clicked in her mind as she recalled that her former teacher had a number of labs hidden throughout the village, many of which she helped discover. Kami, how could she be so stupid?! Why didn't she think to check out the labs?! If Orochimaru investigated the mask for his own purposes, maybe he had some clues or information tucked away somewhere. She was certain that he had to have, at some point of time, tried to find the mask for himself.
All of the discovered labs were sealed off, but it would be pretty easy for her to gain access to them. "What do you know? The asshole was good for something." She whispered to herself. It was time to pursue what was perhaps a more viable lead.
Meanwhile. The Hokage's office.
"Oh God. I don't think I can feel my legs." Spoke the form of Gwen as she, Naruto and Tsunade were now lying on the floor in a loose circle as they stared up at the ceiling. The Spider-Drummer tried to move, but her body was aching from their sexual activities, showing that she had perhaps over-indulged in their impromptu threesome. "When I agreed to come for counseling... this isn't what I had in mind. God, how many times did we do it? I think I lost track after the tenth round."
"I stopped after twenty." Naruto spoke with a small groan, feeling slightly lethargic after their love making session. He then looked towards the Senju woman and said "Hey Tsunade. You were especially... enthusiastic."
His words earned a somewhat sheepish expression from the Slug User as she gave a lazy wave and replied to him "Heh. Yeah. Sorry if I was a little rough with you two. I was pretty... pent up after going so long without sex, and well... you know. It felt good to finally let it out."
This made the blonde drummer purse her lips as she said in a tone of mild disbelief "I cannot believe we just did this. Damned Pheromones. Still... one thing is for sure. I can't believe I was able to keep up with you the first time we had sex Naruto. I don't think I can handle you by myself. Also... I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that an..." She fell silent at the end as she almost let slip the words 'old lady' from her mouth.
"A what? Were you about to call me old?" Tsunade questioned as she gave a suspicious glare towards the teenage Spider-Woman. This made Gwen pale a bit as she remembered how her boyfriend described the Senju woman's unnatural strength, now that it was further enhanced, she didn't want to imagine what might happen if she were to receive a blow from those inhumanly powerful fists.
To her surprise, the Sannin simply laughed and then added in a cheerful voice "Heh. Don't worry about it. I forgot to mention earlier... but my bite? I don't know how, but it dialed back the clock on me. Made me young again." This caused the two teens to stare at her in shock since that was something neither of them expected.
Gwen had no recollection of a Spider-Bite restoring a Spider-Person's youth before. That was definitely a new one. "So wait. You're not wearing your Genjutsu right now?" The Jinchuuriki asked, which earned a shake of the head from Slug User.
"Wearing... Genjutsu?" The blonde drummer questioned with a raised eyebrow, which made Tsunade chuckle a bit as she answered "I hid my true age and appearance behind a special illusion. Now that I got my youth back again, the Genjutsu is meaningless now. Anywho, since we're here and got our lust out of our system... how about we start our counseling?"
"Right now?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow since they had only just finished making love.
"Well... we aren't really going anywhere for a while. Might as well get to it, yeah? So... who wants to go first?" Tsunade asked, her tone becoming more professional as she assumed her 'doctor' persona with a practiced and charming smile that put the two teens at ease.
The Uzumaki and Spider-Drummer glanced at each other with the latter mouthing 'You first'. The whiskered teen cleared his throat and then began to tell the Senju woman about his recent experiences, he told her about how he had a PTSD-induced flashback which led to the accidental death of The Spot, about how he seems to freeze up when he sees and/or hears the crackling of electricity, and then told her of his panic attack.
As he spoke, Tsunade slowly nodded along, quietly absorbing his words as she dutifully listened to him. When he was finished she then spoke in a reassuring and soothing voice "I'm so sorry that happened, just know that it wasn't your fault. PTSD can be triggered by sights or sounds that can remind you of your trauma. Still, the fact that electricity can make you freeze up or panic is definitely bad. You already found out for yourself what can happen if you hesitate for even a split second."
"Any recommendations? If I encounter someone that uses electricity or lightning based techniques, I could freeze again at a critical moment. I don't think I need to mention what could happen if I were to clash with Sasuke again and he uses his Chidori." The whiskered teen questioned, hoping that the famed Medic Nin could offer him some advice.
The Slug Summoner thought for a moment before speaking in a professional tone "I think you should try exposure therapy. If you can overcome your fear of electricity, then it could pave the way for you to beat your PTSD. We can work on that in our next session, I also strongly advise that you start learning breathing exercises to help with potential panic attacks."
The Jinchuuriki hummed thoughtfully as he parroted the words 'Exposure therapy' in a whisper to himself. He hadn't thought of trying that before. Though it did make a certain kind of sense. If he could train himself to be exposed to his trigger without freezing up or panicking, then it could be a step in the right direction towards beating his PTSD.
"What about you Gwen? Anything you want to get off your chest?" The Sannin asked, which caused the blonde drummer to close her eyes with a deep sigh.
"I... well... it's my fault. I'm the reason why Naruto suffered his panic attack. We were supposed to work together and find the Spot... but I split off from him to go visit my old friend Miles. That was a mistake. Because of my selfishness, Naruto suffered. He was all alone, probably scared out of his mind, unable to breathe... and I was off with someone else. To make things worse, Miles betrayed my trust and delayed me... I feel angry at myself for leaving Naruto, I feel angry at Miles for what he did... it just hurts now." Gwen spoke as she vented out her emotions.
Naruto decided to pipe in as he spoke to his girlfriend "That wasn't your fault Gwen. Even if you had been there, things would have likely played out the same anyway. You're not responsible for what happened. Miles made his own choices, a lot of bad ones. I already forgave you... though I think you need to forgive yourself now."
"Perhaps what you need is closure. You should find him and confront him. Tell him what you're feeling and what he did to you. Maybe then you can get some form of resolution." Tsunade suggested with a small shrug, which made the blonde Spider-Woman close her eyes and think for a moment.
"Maybe. Though not just yet... it still feels fresh. I'm not sure if I'm ready. I'm not even sure if I want to see him again." Gwen replied as she shook her head. While it was true that closure might be a good idea, she wasn't quite sure if she was ready to take such a step. It would likely be painful, and she wasn't sure if she could face the guy that she once considered her best friend.
"No need to rush. We know where to find him and can wait till you're good and ready. Just know that I'm here for you, and I always will be." Naruto stated with a warm and comforting smile directed at the blonde drummer, which made her smile back. She was grateful for the support.
"Thanks. One thing is for sure, Miles definitely owes a huge apology to a number of people, especially to me and to you for everything he did." She spoke with a small frown, if the Spider-Artist refused to show any form of remorse for his actions then she was gonna pick up where they left off and pulverize him.
The Jinchuuriki chuckled a bit as he slowly got up from the floor and retrieved his clothes with both Gwen and Tsunade doing the same as they also got dressed as well. "Thanks for taking the time for talking with us... and for... you know. Wait, does this mean we're dating now?" The Uzumaki questioned at the end with a raised eyebrow as he silently wondered to himself if this was going to be a weird routine of his from here on. Sex first, and then dating?
"You saying that you don't want to date me? I mean, me? Tsunade Senju? Godaime Hokage, most famed Medic Nin and Legendary Sannin? You wouldn't want to have me in your pocket or on your arm?" The busty Hokage questioned with a raised eyebrow, which made the Uzumaki pale a bit as he wondered if he had phrased his question in an insulting way without realizing.
The Sannin then let out a small laugh as she then spoke in a casual manner "Relax. I'm not gonna clock you or anything. I'm not Sakura for crying out loud. Still, I do think you owe me a date for this session." She added the last part with a wink, making the Uzumaki give a relieved sigh and nod in agreement since that was only fair. Now that he had been intimate with the Senju woman, he kind of wanted to deepen their relationship and see how things developed from there.
"No problem. We'll have to set up a time. Right now though... I think I need to collect my inheritance." He spoke with a small hint of anxiousness, a large part of him wanting to see what his mother had left behind for him.
"You have an inheritance?" The Senju asked since this was the first she had heard of that. Did this mean that he had recently learned who his parents were?
"Oh yeah. I didn't tell you yet. Do you know a woman named Kushina Uzumaki?" The whiskered teen questioned as he stretched out his limbs, with both the Godaime and blonde drummer also performing a few stretches to loosen themselves up. At his question, the Slug User pursed her lips as she searched her memories, trying to put the name and face together. Kami, why did that name sound so familiar yet also so distant?
She then recalled a certain kunoichi that often accompanied her predecessor the Yondaime and snapped her fingers as the memory finally came to her. "Kushina! I do remember her! Pretty thing, long and straight red hair? Violet eyes? I remember that she often hanged out with the Yondaime, though honestly speaking, I never interacted with her that much. She's your mom?"
The Uzumaki nodded his head as he explained to the Senju woman "That's the one. It was only recently that I learned of her, and the Yondaime as well. They're my birth parents." At this news, the Godaime's face fell as she found herself staring at her new lover. He was the son of the Yellow Flash? Wait, no... she could actually see it. Take away the whisker marks, and Naruto would be an almost perfect spitting image of the late Yondaime.
It was at this moment that she realized something "Holy shit. All these years, the people of Konoha have been putting you down for carrying the Kyuubi, they have also been picking on the son of their great hero, the Yellow Flash. How utterly ironic." The Sannin muttered with a chortle as she shook her head, her laughter making her large breasts jiggle a bit. She then inhaled deeply and asked the Jinchuuriki "So... how do you want to handle this big news? Want to go public? Smear it in the people's faces and watch them drop to their knees and worship the ground you walk on while pleading for your forgiveness?"
"Tempting idea, though I think I'll put that on hold for now. Things are already complicated enough for me as it is. Probably best to wait. That aside, I don't want to let my family history define me, I want to be my own person." The Uzumaki spoke in a serious and somewhat solemn tone. It was a little disheartening, but also a little understandable, to know that his parents had been greatly revered and held in high esteem, but at the same time, he also wanted to earn his own accolades and recognition.
The Godaime slowly nodded as she gave an approving hum. "Humble as always. Though if you'll indulge me a bit... how did you learn about your parents anyway?" Tsunade asked out of simple curiosity. The Uzumaki then regaled her with the story of the Kyuubi attack, more specifically, what ACTUALLY happened that night.
He told her about the masked man, the death of his parents, and the piece of his mother that had been left behind within the seal and how the Kyuubi, Kurama, was now his friend and partner. "I'll be damned... so what happened that night wasn't even the Kyu... Kurama's fault then? It was some masked psycho with a Sharingan that was behind the whole thing?" The Godaime questioned, earning a nod of confirmation from the whiskered teen.
"You know... I heard stories about that night. A lot of different accounts. However, not a single one of them ever mentioned the participation of the Uchiha clan helping to suppress your Kurama. Want to know why? Apparently the Uchiha clan was given the order to escort and evacuate all non-combatants to safety." Tsunade explained as she crossed her arms beneath her bust.
"Why would they be given that order? What's so special about this Sharingan?" Gwen questioned since she wasn't aware of the Uchiha's bloodline ability or it's significance.
"Well, the Sharingan is a special ability that is said to be descended from the Rikudou Sennin. It has the ability to copy other techniques with but a glance, and that more advanced forms provide special abilities. One of its most infamous powers is its ability to control and manipulate the Bijuu, which is what made Madara so famous. He was capable of controlling the Kyuubi with his Sharingan. Perhaps it was feared that during the Kyuubi attack, an overly ambitious Uchiha would attempt to do the same and either fail and cause further harm... or succeed and let the power go to his or her head." Tsunade explained with a deep scowl.
"Sounds almost like a cheat code." The Spider-Drummer remarked, earning a nod from the Godaime.
"Honestly speaking, the Uchiha's were heavily scrutinized because of this. Madara going rogue cast them in a negative light. Many Uchiha's abused their Sharingan by copying the techniques of other Konoha Shinobi, which only further alienated the clan and seemed to prove that the stereotype of Uchiha's being power hungry and ambitious was an accurate one. Some Uchiha's even believed that they were 'The Superior Clan' on account of their Clan's Sharingan being directly connected to the Rikudou Sennin." The Senju explained, having very clear memories of numerous examples of the stereotype that she spoke of.
"Regardless, the real bad guy is still out there somewhere, and when I find him, I'm gonna make sure that he can never do that again. At any rate, you want to come with us? Get this whole inheritance thing sorted?" Naruto questioned as he approached the office door to leave with Gwen following close behind him.
"You two go on ahead. I have some things I need to take care of myself." Tsunade spoke as she gave a dismissive wave, prompting the two blondes to nod and bid the Senju woman goodbye before departing. Once she was alone, the Godaime pulled out a storage seal from her desk and opened it, revealing her old armor that she wore back during the Shinobi War. It was a bit old fashioned now, but still fully functional.
She didn't know why she kept it, perhaps she was a bit sentimental. Still... one thing she knew with certainty was that Danzo would be merciless. If she came after him, he would most definitely retaliate. The question is, how would he attack her? Would he send assassins? Try to poison her? Or would he threaten the people she cared about to force her into compliance?
That is why she would need to come up with a new persona to hide her real self, at least until she was certain that whatever threat that she was about to face was safely neutralized. To protect Shizune, Naruto, and everyone else that she cared for, she would don a mask. She smirked a bit as she decided to touch up her old armor a bit, perhaps with a dark green and brown color scheme.
She would also need a mask to hide her face, hair, and of course the distinctive diamond shaped mark on her forehead since Henge's weren't always reliable. Once she was ready, she would pursue Kizashi Haruno and find out for herself just how deeply the corruption within Konoha ran and how it was all connected.
With Naruto and Gwen.
"So... are you really okay with this? Me taking on multiple lovers?" Naruto questioned as he and his girlfriend walked down the road, he asked because he wanted to be sure that she was all right with this decision and that she didn't just say those things earlier because of their pheromone induced state. The two had their arms linked together with the Uzumaki giving her a little support on account of the fact that she was walking with a small limp.
"I really did want to keep you all to myself... but well... after this last session, I now realize that I won't be able to satisfy you by myself. Your mom was right. I won't be able to help restore your clan on my own. So we'll need others to help. Though let me lay down a few ground rules. First, you don't play favorites. Second, no random girls. If you're gonna have other wives and lovers, they have to be in it for the long haul and not one night stands. Third, I get to be your first wife and have your first baby." She told him, earning a nod of understanding from her fellow blonde.
"No problem. Oh, uhhh, don't forget to take the pill as soon as we get back to our apartment since you said you're not ready for kids yet. Also, while we didn't officially extend an invitation to Tsunade, I think we can probably count her in. I'll have to officially invite her when I take her on a date." He spoke with a small chuckle, never imagining himself having that sort of relationship with the Godaime.
"Yeah, I'll do that. Funny thing though... I wonder why nobody in the Spider-Society took notice of her being bitten." She mused aloud wondering why Tsunade becoming a Spider-Person remained undetected.
"Well, there was that whole mess with Miles. Not to mention there was the fact that I was found immediately after my bite." He responded, earning a small 'ah' from the blonde drummer since that was indeed true. The Uzumaki then remarked "I didn't know there could be more than one Spider per universe... but then there was the case with Miles and his world's original Spider-Man."
"It's pretty rare, but every so often there can be more than a single Spider in a universe. Again, anything is possible." She stated which earned a thoughtful hmm from the whiskered teen. Was this a coincidence? Or was Neith somehow behind this? He wasn't sure... though now that he thought about it, what if other people in his universe got bitten as well? How many more could there be that he wasn't aware of? Was it just him and Tsunade? Or could there be more?
Damn. He had forgotten to ask Tsunade about giving him some scrolls for Elemental Chakra. Ah well, that could wait for a while longer. He still needed to master his wire manipulation and it was best not to rush it. He would also need to pay the Toads a visit sometime and see what they had to teach him. Jiraiya may have been a bad teacher, but he was still considered a legendary Shinobi for a reason after all.
It wasn't long before they reached their destination, the Bank of Konoha. The one-stop shop for a person's financial needs. Accounts, portfolios, lockboxes, loans, et cetera. One of the largest and most trusted establishments in Fire Country. The kind of place where virtually everyone in the village conducts their business. Civilians, Shinobi, various Clans, the Bank did not discriminate. The official ownership of the bank has changed hands many times since its inception with the current owner being one Kizashi Haruno, though how he managed to obtain ownership, the Uzumaki didn't know. He kind of wondered if there was a story there.
"Here we go." He muttered as they entered inside to an opulent lobby where numerous people could be seen, standing in lines and waiting to be attended by the tellers who sat at their posts as they assisted the various customers. In the center of the lobby was a portly and jolly looking man in an expensive looking suit who seemed to be having a very friendly chat with a pair of civilians who seemed to be husband and wife. The duo broke off from the cheerful man and broke off from him with happy and satisfied smiles.
The large man then turned towards the two teens and spoke to them in a jovial voice "Welcome to the Bank of Konoha my young friends! Are you in need of any assistance? You can call me Happi-san! Everyone does."
"Yeah, you look pretty happy all right." Naruto spoke with a small chuckle, the man's friendly disposition being almost infectious.
"Hah! You're not wrong! When I was a lad, I grew up with great wealth, I was afforded all sorts of luxuries, but none of them made me happy. When my family was swindled out of their finances by a charlatan, we were left destitute, yet my mother worked hard to ensure that we had good food and clothes. It was then I learned that happiness is a choice.
Great wealth can afford you many things, but true happiness is something you have to find for yourself. Now I find joy in helping people with their financial needs and making sure their money is safe and secure. Watch out for scammers my dear boy! Ohohohoho! Sorry, I got a little carried away there. I am the General Manager of the Bank. You are Naruto Uzumaki correct?" The man known as 'Happi-san' asked with a broad grin.
"You know who I am?" The whiskered teen asked as he tilted his head, surprised that a Civilian was aware of who he was, but showed absolute zero signs of animosity towards him.
"Of course I do! I make it my personal mission to know every single customer of the bank! We handled your stipend checks for some years after all. Now then, what can I do for you? Who is this lovely young woman? A special someone?" The banker asked with a broad grin that stretched from ear to ear.
"My name is Gwen Stacy. I'm Naruto's girlfriend." The blonde Spider-Woman replied in a polite tone, earning a chuckle from the portly banker.
"Ah. To be young and in love! So, what brings you here? To open an account for the young lady? Something else? I can direct you to anywhere you need to go for whatever it is you need!" Happi-san spoke, obviously very much eager to assist them. Wow. Talk about amazing customer service.
"I'm here about a lockbox actually. It's probably been left unattended for a number of years now. It's under the name 'Kushina Uzumaki' The account number is 1994-09." Naruto responded, as soon as the name of his mother and the account number left his lips, the Bank Manager's eyes immediately lit up in recognition.
"Ohhhhhh Frabjous day! Kushina-san told me that someday someone would come to claim the contents of her box! At last! That day has come!" Happi-san declared joyously as he did a small dance, his reaction earning some raised eyebrows from the two teens.
"You knew her?" The whiskered teen asked, which earned a nod from the portly manager who replied "Indeed. Kushina-san was, and still is, even after her death one of my greatest customers! She came here quite frequently! She was an intelligent and very sharp woman. She had a keen sense for investments and stocks! She was practically a natural at making money believe it or not. Great business acumen that one. Come! Come! Let's go see what she left behind, yes?"
The banker then gestured for the two teens to follow after him, prompting them to nod and follow silently after him. The Bank Manager whistles a happy tune as he playfully twirled a key ring around a chubby finger, making the keys jingle "Heh. This takes me back. When I first joined this bank, I was sweeping and scrubbing floors for peanuts. Then one day Kushina comes along, throws a teller clear across the lobby screaming and shouting bloody murder that she was being cheated out of her money.
She then jabbed a finger at me and said 'I don't trust any of these idiots to manage my money, you'll be doing it for me from now on'. After that, I got promoted from janitor to account manager, and now General Manager of the bank. No idea why she singled me out, that day, but I'll always be grateful for her to give me such a chance. Amazing woman that Kushina. You know, I had always wondered if you were perhaps a relation of hers given that you shared the same surname, but I couldn't find any birth certificates or documents to prove that you were related. A real shame too."
"So was she being cheated?" The whiskered teen asked, earning a bellowing laugh from the portly manager "Let's just say that every so often we get a bad apple or two that tries to skim off the top. We here at the Bank of Konoha take particular pride in the trust and relationships we have with our beloved customers. Anyone that tries to cheat said customers... they don't have a future here with us." He added the last part in a sickly sweet and venomous tone that made the two teens pale a bit.
That sounded a little ominous. Even so, they could understand the reasoning behind Happi-san's beliefs. "Huh. I wonder why there can't be more Bank Managers like this guy. I kinda like him." Gwen whispered to her boyfriend who quickly nodded in agreement. He could kind of see why his mother personally selected this man since she likely sensed that he was a trustworthy individual.
"Ah, here we are!" The Manager stated as they entered a long hallway and began walking towards a vault door with the manager continuing "This is a special vault for preferred clients and customers. This hallway is armed with some of the best anti-theft equipment money can buy in the Shinobi Nations. Motion detection seals, Chakra nullification, dozens of hidden cameras capturing every angle, an elite squad of guards ready to burst in at a moments notice, et cetera. Anyone who tries to come this way without an escort can land themselves in a lot of trouble!"
The portly banker then inserted a key into the vault's lock and turned it before typing in a code on the keypad. Within moments, there was a series of clicks and some sort of hydraulic hiss as the door began to slowly swing open, allowing them entry as they stepped inside the vault. "Here it is." Happi-san muttered to himself as he wasted no time in acquiring the lockbox and opening it as he thrust it towards the Jinchuuriki with a flourish.
Inside were two sheets of paper, with the whiskered teen taking the first one as he read aloud "I, Kushina Uzumaki, of sound mind and body, leave all of my holdings, finances, properties, and earthly possessions to my child Naruto Uzumaki. If you are reading this Naruto, my only request for you is to live your live to the fullest and shoot for the stars." Huh. Such a simple and straightforward Will, and yet it clearly conveyed everything that he needed to know.
"The second paper is a list of the aforementioned accounts, holdings, finances, et cetera. I personally update it monthly. This copy was updated just yesterday." The manager explained, prompting the whiskered teen to pick up the paper and began to read it over. His eyes slowly widening further and further as he looked over each line. The Uzumaki's legs then began to wobble as his eyes rolled up into his head until finally he went limp and collapsed on the floor.
Gwen stared at the scene, wondering what Kushina had left behind for her son that would cause him to faint. Prompting her to pick up the paper and read it over to herself "Is... is this accurate? All of these accounts and holdings and assets... they total in the BILLIONS!" The Spider-Drummer stated in shock. Her boyfriend had suddenly become a freaking billionaire in less than a minute!
"Like I said, Kushina-san had great business acumen. Before she passed on she had a very steady income going and invested in many profitable business ventures that netted her many great returns, then if you add in interest and..." The Manager explained excitedly, then cut himself off as he simply added "Yes. It is accurate to say the least. All I can say for now is this... good luck burning through all of that cash! HAHAHA!"
The Spider-Drummer could only let out a wheezing laugh at this as she could only stare at the numbers in disbelief. Just wait until she told her dad about her boyfriend and his new finances. This was going to blow his freaking mind!
End Chapter Twelve.