John groaned, sat back in his seat, and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, then glanced out the windscreen. Surprisingly, the screen was intact, and sunlight trickled into the cockpit between the thick branches covering the window.
John shifted in his chair, groaning again as his shoulder and knee protested the movement. He powered down the few undamaged systems and turned to Teyla and Ronon.
"Everyone all right?" he asked, glancing from one to the other.
"Fine," Ronon grunted.
John saw a cut over Ronon's eye oozing blood but let it go as Ronon stood.
"Teyla?" John asked.
"I am all right," Teyla replied, though John heard the underlying pain in her voice.
"You sure about that?" he asked, stifling another groan as he shifted in his chair.
John spotted the bruise forming on her cheek and watched as she slowly rotated her arms and stretched her legs.
"I believe my injuries are minor," she replied.
John looked her up and down, glanced at Ronon flexing his wrists and bending his arms, then glanced into the rear section.
"Rodney? You okay back there?"
McKay didn't answer, and John and Teyla exchanged a quick glance.
"He would not have had time to strap into one of the seats," Teyla said with a worried frown as John stood. His knee throbbed when he moved, and John hissed in a breath.
"Colonel, are you all right?" Teyla asked.
John nodded. "Just a banged-up knee. I'm fine."
John ignored the faint itch at the back of his skull as he limped through the bulkhead door. The link had been reacting ever since John had twisted Rodney's shoulder, but he'd been trying not to think about it. He stepped into the rear section and stopped short when he found Rodney lying half under one of the bench seats.
"Rodney?" John called, kneeling at Rodney's side.
Rodney groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "Am I dead?"
"No," John replied, reaching out a supportive hand as McKay tried to sit up. "You all right?"
"You call that a landing," Rodney grumbled.
John saw the bruise forming across Rodney's forehead and down the side of his face and swallowed his first sarcastic reply. "Any landing you can walk away from," he replied with a tiny smile.
"You're assuming I can walk," Rodney retorted, rubbing his head.
John stood and nodded to Dex, standing near the bulkhead door.
Ronon stepped forward and grasped Rodney under his arms from behind.
"Hey!" Rodney yelped.
Ronon sat McKay on the nearest bench seat and stepped back as John knelt, taking Rodney's chin in a light hold. He checked Rodney's pupils and relaxed when he saw they were the same size.
"How's your head?" John asked.
Rodney's questing fingers found the bruise over his eye, and he winced.
"Yeah, you managed to give yourself quite the bruise," John said. "Feeling dizzy or nauseous?"
"No," Rodney replied, still poking at the bruise.
John let go of Rodney's chin and gently moved McKay's fingers away from the bruise. "Are you okay otherwise?"
Rodney blew out a breath and nodded. "As all right as I can be after surviving you crashing the jumper. Again."
John narrowed his eyes and shook his head when he saw Rodney's tiny smile.
He patted Rodney's shoulder, then stood and turned to Ronon and Teyla. "Perimeter sweep. We need to know where we are and what resources we have available. Depending on how long it takes Rodney to fix the ship -"
"You're assuming I can fix the ship," Rodney grumbled.
"These mountains are about thirty miles from the 'gate," John told him. "Unless you feel like hiking back to Atlantis, you really need to fix the ship."
Rodney muttered something under his breath that John chose not to hear but made Ronon grunt and shake his head.
"We're going to need a secure campsite," John continued. "We have enough supplies to last a week. Ten days at a push. Even if Rodney can't fix the ship, we should have enough food to get back to the 'gate."
"Camping," Rodney grumbled, rubbing his head. "Lovely."
"The sooner you fix the jumper, the sooner we can go home," John replied.
John pushed the rear hatch release and stepped out of the jumper. A trail of broken treetops and downed trees marked the ship's passage through the forest. He didn't see any sign of the Asuran tower or the town.
How far off course did they end up? he wondered. He turned in a slow circle, studying the peaks surrounding them on three sides. And how high were they? John thought, grimacing when he saw more peaks marching away from the meadow.
Even with climbing gear to help with the descent, the trip back to the 'gate would not be easy, he realised. "Rodney, you better be able to fix the ship," John muttered under his breath.
John took a few steps away from the shuttle, ignoring his throbbing knee, turned, and surveyed the valley and the jumper. The ship sat in a little clearing surrounded by pine trees. Tall bushes, denuded of their leaves, stood at the edges of the clearing, and John heard the rasping rustle of dried grass as a gust of cold wind blew off the mountains behind him.
He walked back to the ship and ran his hand over the dented hull. Several large broken branches covered the front of the jumper. "It was a minor miracle nothing punctured the hull," he said, looking back at the broken trees marking their course toward the clearing.
He walked around to the starboard side and pursed his lips into a thin line when he saw the drive pod dug a foot or so into the ground, canting the ship at an angle. A long dent ran the length of the pod from the engine housing to the drone launchers, creasing the pod nearly in half.
"Lucky it didn't explode," John murmured and scrubbed a hand over his chin. This might be one time when Rodney would not be able to save their bacon with a last-minute Hail Mary repair job, he realised.
Teyla and Ronon stepped out of the jumper and walked over to John. They were both armed, and John noted the cut over Ronon's eye was held closed with a couple of steri-strips.
Ronon glanced from the damaged engine to the encircling mountains and grimaced.
"Yeah," John said in agreement with Dex's skeptical expression. "I know. Let's see what Rodney can do first."
Ronon shrugged and turned to the trees on the right side of the clearing.
"We will return soon," Teyla said as she ducked into the trees to John's left.
John nodded and paced around the rest of the ship. He blew out a relieved breath when he saw the port drive pod was in much better shape than the right. Dents ran the length of the pod, but most were shallow. John's sense of hope withered, however, when he bent and glanced at the exposed undercarriage. Several panels were missing, leaving behind exposed wiring and more dented housing.
"This is bad," Rodney said.
John walked around to the starboard side again and found Rodney staring at the damaged pod.
"I'm not going to be able to do anything to fix that," Rodney said. "Do you have any idea how lucky we were that the jumper didn't blow up?"
John smiled. "The thought had crossed my mind," he replied. "What about the rest?"
Rodney slowly walked around the ship, ducked his head, and peered at the undercarriage. He crossed one arm over his chest, rubbed his forehead with his free hand, and glanced at John.
"Assuming there's still anything left of the main drive systems," he bent and tugged on some of the loose wiring hanging from the undercarriage, "I might be able to get you enough power to limp us home on one engine," Rodney said.
"How long?"
Rodney's brow furrowed, and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Couple of days, at least. Maybe longer."
John sighed. Slower than he'd hoped but better than he expected, he thought.
"After that, the ship probably won't be good for much other than spare parts," Rodney added.
John smiled and clapped Rodney on the shoulder. "Lucky for us, we just found a bunch more ships."
Rodney stared at him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? What makes you think we're ever going to be able to get to those ships? In case you've forgotten, we barely got out of that tower the first time."
"You're a smart guy, McKay," John said, dropping his hand from McKay's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll figure something out."
Rodney glowered in reply, and John frowned when he saw Rodney rubbing his head again. He concentrated on the link and felt the telltale itch at the back of his skull increase.
So you're hurting more than you're letting on, John realised.
"Hey," he said, tapping Rodney's arm. "You sure you're all right?"
"What?" Rodney asked, looking up from his examination of the drive pod.
"Are you sure you're all right?" John asked again. "That bruise on your face is pretty spectacular."
Rodney gave him a sideways glance and ducked his head. "Oh. Yes, yes, I'm fine."
What aren't you telling me? John wondered as Rodney inched around him and walked back to the lowered hatch. He disappeared inside the ship, and John shook his head.
After what happened this morning, are you surprised he's shutting you out? John mentally chastised himself.
"You can't suppress a trauma like this and expect it to stay buried."
Maybe Heightmeyer was right, he thought as he stared at the trees. Maybe he needed more than fresh air and open skies to deal with what happened. Not just with what Kolya and the Wraith had done to him physically but the reality that he had been ready to surrender to it.
That he had been ready to just give up.
Rodney walked out of the jumper carrying his roll of tools. He settled on the ground with a grimace, unrolled the bundle of tools, and set to work on the port-side drive pod.
And thanks to the link, Rodney knows what happened, John reminded himself. Something else they would need to deal with before much longer, he decided.
"We're clear," Ronon announced, shaking John out of his morbid train of thought. "No large predators or people in the area."
John pinched the bridge of his nose. Not now, he ordered himself. Get your team home, then worry about what Kolya did to you. He glanced at the back of the jumper. To all of them, he mentally added.
He shoved Kolya and the Wraith back into their box and turned to Dex.
"No people, so no place we can go for help or supplies. What about other resources?"
"Plenty of wood for a fire," Ronon replied, nodding at the trees. "Found deer and rabbit tracks. Food won't be a problem. No water nearby."
John nodded. Water was going to be their biggest concern, he knew. Even with the extra supplies, their water supply was limited. If they were forced to hike back to the 'gate, they'd need access to a lake or stream. He heard movement behind him, turned, and saw Teyla walking out of the trees carrying a wrapped bundle in her hands.
"Teyla," John greeted, glancing at the bundle. "What's that?"
"Fresh berries," Teyla said. She stopped in front of John and held out the bundle.
John peeled back a fold of cloth and saw a small pile of bright amber berries. He took one of the berries, popped it into his mouth and was surprised by the burst of sweet and tart flavors.
"These are good," he said, taking another berry.
"They are cloudberries," Teyle said, offering the berries to Ronon.
Ronon took a few of the berries and popped them into his mouth.
"They only grow in pine forests above a certain altitude," Teyla continued, "and can be difficult to find. I also discovered a small lake nearby." She jerked her chin over her shoulder. "There are tracks from several different animals near the shore, many of them fresh."
John nodded and ate another berry. "All right, Ronon and I will set up camp. There are a couple of empty five-gallon water cans in the jumper. We can use them to carry water from the lake." He shaded his eyes and looked at the sun already past its zenith. "Teyla, stay with Rodney. See what you can do to help him with the repairs."
"Rodney believes he can fix the jumper?" Teyla asked with a skeptical glance at the crushed pod.
"He thinks so, but it will take a few days." He dropped his hand and glanced at Rodney, busily dismantling the damaged starboard drive pod. He stepped closer to Teyla and added, "Maybe get him to eat some of those berries while you're at it."
Teyla nodded and wandered over to the jumper. "Rodney? Do you require assistance?"
John spent the next two hours dividing his attention between clearing a space for their campsite, setting up the large expedition tent, and watching Rodney and Teyla work. As the afternoon wore on, John saw more and more often that Rodney wasn't working but instead sat staring at the ship or the trees until Teyla nudged or spoke to him. Each time, Rodney would glance at her, then set to work again.
The itch isn't any worse, John told himself as he grabbed one of the empty five-gallon water cans and stepped out of the ship.
Rodney sat, holding a screwdriver in one hand as he spoke to Teyla leaning into the drive pod.
"No, not like that. Hold the wrench tight against the housing," McKay said.
Teyla adjusted her hold on something inside the pod. "Thus?"
Rodney rubbed his head and stared at the pod.
"Rodney?" Teyla prompted. "Is this the correct position?"
"Hmm?" Rodney glanced at her and then at the pod. "Oh. Yes, yes. Don't move," he replied, reaching into the pod with the screwdriver.
But the itch hasn't gone away, either, John reminded himself.
"Problem?" Ronon asked.
John shook his head. "Not sure yet." He adjusted his grip on the water can. "Come on."
Ronon picked up the other can and followed John into the trees. There was a faint animal track, nothing wide enough to be called a path, but it was enough that they didn't have to fight the encroaching tree branches. A few minutes later, they found the lake, and John marvelled at the stony lake bottom clearly visible from the shore.
"Must be from a glacier," John said, watching the late afternoon sunlight dance on the water.
Ronon knelt, scooped up a handful of water, and swallowed it.
"Tastes fine."
John shook his head. "It probably is fine, but we'll use the purification tablets just to be sure."
He dipped the can into the water and watched a tiny school of silvery fish dart through the water as he waited for the can to fill. Once both cans were full, Ronon led the way back to the camp as the sun started to set.
John had managed to ignore his sore knee for most of the afternoon, but lugging forty pounds of water sent shooting pains up his leg with every step. He did his best to muffle his low groans but knew he wasn't fooling Dex when Ronon kept glancing over his shoulder.
By the time they returned to camp, John's knee was pounding, and he was limping heavily.
"Rodney?" Teyla asked.
John glanced at the jumper and saw Rodney rubbing the back of his head.
"Oh, umm, nothing," he muttered, glancing at John.
John set the water can next to the tent and dug through his vest pockets until he found the blister pack of ibuprofen. He popped two of the pills and swallowed them with a swig of water from his canteen.
An hour later, the sun hovered near the horizon, their campsite was secure, Ronon had a fire going, and Rodney had the drive pod mostly disassembled with various components separated into different piles.
John set four MRE pouches near the fire to heat, picked up a weighted tarp, and walked over to the jumper. He stopped a few paces from the ship and frowned when he saw Rodney absently rubbing his chest with one hand while he pulled another component out of the drive housing.
"How's it going?" John asked, glancing from Teyla to McKay.
Rodney looked up in surprise. "Oh, umm." He dropped the hand rubbing his chest, and handed the component to Teyla.
Teyla took the component and placed it on top of one of the piles.
"No, the next one," Rodney directed. "That's part of the injector system, not the compressor."
John saw Teyla's concerned expression as she moved the piece to another pile and his frown deepened when he saw McKay's glassy eyes and the lines of exhaustion creasing his face.
Rodney rubbed his chest again. "I, umm, I think I can get the pod working," he said to John. "Might take a little longer than I originally hoped, though. There was a lot of damage." He reached into the pod, but John bent and grasped Rodney's shoulder.
"I think you've done enough for now," John said. He straightened and pulled Rodney to his feet.
Rodney swayed with the sudden change in position, and John kept his hand on McKay's arm until Rodney found his balance.
Once he was sure Rodney would stay upright, he and Teyla spread the tarp over the piles of components, and John retook Rodney's elbow.
"Come on. Dinner should be just about ready."
John led the way over to two thick logs Ronon had hauled out of the nearby trees and set near the fire. John sat Rodney on one of the logs, handed McKay one of the ready-to-eat meals, and sat beside him.
Ronon and Teyla sat on the other log, and John watched as Rodney opened his dinner and poked at the contents with the fork.
"Rodney," Teyla said.
Rodney looked up from molesting his dinner. "Hmm?"
"I wanted to thank you for teaching me about the jumper today."
Rodney stabbed a forkful of meatloaf and nodded. "You're umm, you're welcome," he said. He chewed and swallowed, then added, "You seem to have a real aptitude for engineering."
John smiled at the admission and glanced at Teyla. "I think that's the nicest thing I've ever heard him say about anyone."
Rodney scowled, making John grin, and ate a few more bites of meatloaf.
"Sounds like we have a few days while Rodney fixes the ship," John said a few minutes later. "Tomorrow, Ronon and I will take a hike and see what we can do about extending our supplies. Maybe we'll find more of those cloudberries. Teyla, since you are the engineering marvel, you and Rodney keep working on the jumper."
"Understood, Colonel," Teyla replied.
"We'll also need to set a regular watch," John added.
Rodney looked up from poking at his dinner. "Umm, why? I thought Ronon said there was no one around."
"Maybe not people, but I don't think you want the Pegasus galaxy version of a bear breaking into the tent during the night."
"Oh, umm, no. Guess not."
John smiled. "I'll take the first watch." He glanced at Ronon, who nodded. "Teyla, relieve Ronon, and Rodney will relieve you."
Rodney ate a few more bites of meatloaf, then set the half-consumed meal next to his feet and stood. "I'm umm." He shivered and nearly fell as he stumbled over the log John sat on. "I'll see you in the morning," he muttered to John.
He shuffled toward the tent and ducked under the flap.
John stared at the tent then went back to his dinner. McKay had been acting strange all day, he thought as he finished his stew. Even before the flashback or whatever it was in the forest, John had caught Rodney squinting against the light as if he had a headache.
Stress? he wondered. It shouldn't come as much of a surprise after everything they'd been through the past week.
"Colonel, is Rodney all right?" Teyla asked, voicing John's concerns.
John looked up from his meal, glanced at the tent, then focused on Teyla. "He said he was fine when I talked to him earlier," John replied.
The itch had crawled up his skull, and John rubbed the back of his head. Was the headache worse? he asked himself. Had Rodney hit his head harder than he thought when the jumper crashed?
"How was he while you two worked on the jumper this afternoon?"
"He seemed tired," Teyla replied. "He complained of a headache at one point and took the pain medication when I offered. I fear you would know more about Rodney's condition than I."
John shrugged. "The headache has been there ever since …" John let the sentence peter out and tried not to think about wrenching McKay's shoulder. He shook his head. "McKay has the right idea. You and Ronon should get some shut-eye. I'll talk to Rodney in the morning and make sure he's all right."
Teyla rose and walked over to the tent. "Good night, Colonel. Ronon," she added and disappeared inside the tent.
Ronon remained seated on the log, watching John.
"Go on," John said, jerking his chin at the tent. "Relieve me in a few hours."
John waited until Ronon zipped the tent closed, then policed the camp, disposing of their trash inside the jumper. He sat on a convenient supply case McKay had left next to the jumper, rested his back against the metal hull, and closed his eyes.
A soft breeze rustled through the pine trees, and John inhaled the sharp, spicy scent. He listened to insects in the nearby bushes and thought he heard the muffled breathing of a larger animal in the trees behind the tent.
John opened his eyes but didn't see anything near their camp. He waited until the snuffing sound moved farther into the trees, then leaned against the jumper, gazed at the stars, and smiled when a large moon rose above the peaks to his right. So much different from the last time you stared at the sky, John thought as those last few moments lying on the ground, listening to the Wraith feeding on the Genii soldiers attacking them, played over and over in his head.
You're still here, he reminded himself. Your team is here. You survived. You may have thought about giving up, but you didn't. And now you know what you need to do the next time you see Kolya. No more second chances, he vowed.
By the time he heard the tent flap unzipping announcing Ronon had come to relieve him, John felt more relaxed. He had a plan, he reminded himself. All he needed to do now was find Kolya and end things once and for all. John glanced at the tent. Who knows. Maybe it won't be just his demons he'd be putting to rest.
Ronon walked across the camp and stood next to John. "Anything?"
John shook his head. "All quiet," he whispered and stood.
Ronon glanced around the campsite and nodded.
John clapped Ronon on the shoulder and walked over to the tent. "See you in the morning," he said, ducking into the tent.
Rated for arctic conditions and sized for a ten-man tactical team, the tent was large enough for each of them to have plenty of space for a bedroll and their personal gear. A long table across the back of the tent held Teyla's P-90, Rodney's Beretta, and two tac vests. A few crates of additional supplies were stacked under the table. While not balmy, the inside of the tent was warm enough that John shed his jacket as he tiptoed across the tent.
Rodney lay in his shirtsleeves, curled on his side near the table, facing the side of the tent. Teyla was asleep on the other side of the tent near the zipped flap, lying on her back.
John set his tac vest and weapons on the table, pulled off his boots, and lay across from Rodney. He thought he heard McKay muttering in his sleep, but when the sound wasn't repeated, John settled in his bedroll with his hands behind his head and stared at the canvas ceiling.
If he wanted to find Kolya, he would need help, John thought. But Weir couldn't know about it. She had told him more than once the expedition wasn't in the revenge business, and John didn't want to hear the lecture again. It was long past time he dealt with Kolya, he decided. If Elizabeth wanted to reprimand him once he'd dealt with the Genii commander, John would accept whatever punishment she gave him. Killing Kolya would be worth it.
Rodney murmured something, and John heard him shifting on the other side of the tent.
"Got Sheppard," McKay muttered. "Have to stop it."
John sat up, glancing across the tent. "Rodney?" he whispered.
"Got Sheppard," Rodney muttered again. He rolled onto his back as the muttering faded.
John waited, making sure the nightmare had passed, then rolled onto his side and let the soft night sounds lull him to sleep.
John wasn't sure how much later it was when he felt someone shaking his arm.
"Colonel?" Teyla whispered. "Colonel Sheppard, you need to wake up."
John rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. "Teyla?" he asked groggily. "What's the matter?"
Teyla pointed a small flashlight at the ground between John and Rodney. "It is Rodney," she said, and even in the flashlight's dim glow, John saw her worried expression. "Something is wrong."
John sat up and turned to Rodney, lying a few feet away.
"What kind of something?" John asked. He crawled across the short distance to where Rodney lay, moaning and muttering.
"He did not wake when I tried to rouse him for his turn on watch," Teyla said.
John frowned, rested his palm on Rodney's forehead, and felt the fever heat.
"Damn it. He's burning up," John said.
"I believe he may be very ill," Teyla agreed.
"Give me the flashlight," John said.
Teyla handed him the tiny light, and John played the beam over Rodney's prone body.
"I need better light," he muttered.
"I will find one of the larger flashlights," Teyla offered and stood.
John heard her rummaging through the crates of supplies under the table but ignored her movements and focused on Rodney.
"Rodney?" he called, patting McKay's cheeks. "Hey, buddy, you need to wake up."
Rodney moaned and shifted toward John's voice but didn't wake.
John shook his head and slapped Rodney's cheek a little harder. "McKay! Come on. Wake up."
Rodney groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "G'way," he muttered.
A moment later, a bright flashlight beam lit the tent. John turned and saw Ronon standing hunched behind him, holding one of the large flashlights while Teyla set a second flashlight on the table with the beam pointed toward the tent's roof.
Rodney groaned again and curled onto his side, facing away from John. "Too bright," he muttered and tried to shield his eyes.
John frowned when he saw Rodney's flushed cheeks and the fine tremors running up and down his body as he shivered.
"What's the problem?" Ronon asked.
"Looks like Rodney's sick," John replied. "That flu going around finally caught him, I guess."
Teyla knelt next to John and shook her head. "I do not believe this is the flu," she said, her expression grim.
"What else could it be?" John asked. "Half the base has been sick the last few weeks."
"I have a suspicion," Teyla replied. "Colonel, please lift Rodney's shirt."
John stared at her with a cocked eyebrow, then gently rolled Rodney onto his back.
Rodney tried to push at John's hands, but the effort seemed to exhaust him, and he lay still.
John pulled up Rodney's shirt and stared at the angry red and splotchy rash covering McKay's chest and sides.
"What the hell is that?" John said, bending to get a better look at the rash.
"That is quelan fever," Teyla replied.