A/N

I've noticed when I write dialogue for Ste, I sometimes write it in his accent/style of speech and sometimes I just write it normally, it's a bit annoying for me when I read it back so apologies if that inconsistency annoys anyone else too!

To the person who reviewed after I posted the last chapter saying they weren't sure if they'd worked out what was happening at the end of chapter 9 or not, I think you have? Hard to confirm without giving spoilers! But should become clearer in the next Ste pov chapter.

Chapter 9

Brendan pov

The annoying sound of incessant chatting is what dragged him out of his whisky induced slumber. He slowly opened his eyes that felt like they had been glued shut, he was face down splayed out on the bed on top of the covers. He gingerly rolled over and looked down at his dishevelled but still dressed form, he must have just passed out at some point.

He sat up and surveyed his room, it looked like he'd managed to get through several bottles of beer judging by them empties decorating the floor, there was also a whisky bottle strewn on the bed, no glass that he could see, so he must have been necking it from the bottle - good lad.

His mouth was as dry as a nuns you know what and his head was pounding so much he could barely concentrate. He sat forward and his head collapsed into his hands as he started to recall the previous night's antics. He'd gone to see Steven, he'd confronted him about Walker, he'd said some things - he winced as he remembered some of his words - then he'd come back here and drunk himself into oblivion. He had a vague recollection of calling someone, or at least trying to call someone so he grabbed his phone to check, there was a missed call from Kevin and a message.

From Kevin (club)

07.30am

Hi Brendan, had a missed call from you early hours this morning, all ok? K

Fuck. he was bootycalling the new barman. Brilliant, might as well get himself a sexual harassment case while the going was good. Egit.

He let out a groan and vigorously rubbed his face, standing and heading for the bedroom door, yanking it open and stumbling into the kitchen to the surprise of Joel and Cheryl.

"Oh speak of the devil" Cheryl looked at him admonishingly.

"And devil he doth appear" He finished with a grunt

Joel laughed, picking up his coffee and perching on the breakfast bar stool.

"Big night was it?"

"Not really" he opened the fridge and grabbed the milk and began pouring it down his throat straight out of the carton.

"Will you look at you, you're a state" Cheryl wasn't amused.

"Give it a rest Chez, you're not my Ma"

"Well thank god she's not around to see this!"

He turned to look at her blankly, this was a bit of an overreaction to him getting drunk, then again she'd been overreacting a lot recently. Women.

"You don't remember, do you?"

Shit. What didn't he remember? What's he done?

"Obviously not, care to enlighten me?" He was keeping his cards close to his chest until he had more information.

"You took great delight in telling me last night what an idiot I was for not realising that Walker was gay or bi or whatever, your 'sloppy seconds' was the phrase you used. Poor stupid Cheryl is unlucky in love again!"

He grimaced at her words, it was coming back to him now, he'd been angry and drunk and he was out to wound. His words to Steven had apparently not been enough to satisfy his sadistic nature. It was a wonder anyone in their right mind put up with him.

"Chez, look i"-

"Save it, I'm not interested. Anything that requires an ounce of empathy you just can't manage it can you? you're a disgrace" She turned on her heels and charged out of the flat.

Well Cheryl was going to be giving him the cold shoulder for the foreseeable, but at least he'd probably put an end to the flirting between her and Walker and wherever that was going. He leant against the kitchen counter and stared off into the distance, only brought back into the room when Joel gingerly slipped off the stool and placed his mug in the sink.

"You and Walker then"

"Yeah, need me to draw you a picture, little foxy?"

"Is that why you brought him to the club?"

"No, I brought him in because we needed someone and he's good at what he does….. and because I owed him" he sighed and let his head fall back onto the cabinets behind him.

"What do you mean?"

"He saved my life inside, when your dad was having me beaten up, he stopped someone that tried to stab me"

Joel nodded but remained silent for a while.

"I told you I didn't trust him. He's up to something"

"Walker thinks with his dick. Don't leave him alone with your girlfriend, or boyfriend"

"Or sister" Joel spat

he snorted "yeah, but he's useful when he's needed".

Joel pushed off the breakfast bar and went up to his room, he had today off so he'd probably spend the next 24 holed up at the McQueens.

He wasn't lying to Joel, but he wasn't telling the whole truth either. Walker had saved him inside, he'd shared stuff with the other man in his darkest hour, Walker had information on him, information that could never come out, ever. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that's what they say isn't it?

—-

He had spent the majority of the morning at the club slumped over the desk with his head in his hands contemplating his own existence, the hangovers really do get worse with age. He'd toyed with the idea of going to the deli and having a slightly more sober conversation with Steven but he didn't think he quite had his emotions under control yet, even now when he wasn't half made up of whisky, he was still reeling about the thought of Walker and Steven together.

A knock on the office door came about 12pm and Kevin walked in. This was all he needed, maybe he wouldn't bring up his midnight call.

"Afternoon Brendan mate, everything alright last night?

No such luck then.

"Kevin, what have I told you about calling me 'mate'? Do it again and you're fired."

The lad laughed slightly unsure "fair enough, last night?"

"Oh yeah, lost the spare keys for the club, was wondering if you had them"

"Nah i don't have them, What did you need the spares for if the club was closed?"

"Because its my club Kevin and i like to know where my keys are"

"Riigghhhtt" Kevin replied, slightly sceptically. "So where do you want me?"

There was a definite undertone to Kevins words, it hadn't taken long for him to work out that Kevin liked men. A little comment here, a look there, he would bend over hinged right at the hips when he knew Brendan was behind him. Subtle he was not.

Macca had been the same, gay before Brendan had made his first move, he was experienced. He knew his way around a man's body and had no shame in flaunting himself, luckily not to the untrained eye. Macca would make suggestive comments when it was just the two of them, let his hand linger a little too long on him when he passed, eye fuck him in the middle of family meals, Macca was desperate for him. There was certainly no chase, he pretty much offered himself up on a plate and it had been convenient. He was back living in Ireland with Eileen and the kids, he'd not had a man in ages and then there was his wife's nephew ready and wanting. Macca wasn't much younger than himself, 6 years, he wasn't massively his type, but he was there, he was regular and knew Brendan was in charge. When Eileen's nephew started getting far too emotional for his liking, it coincided with the final breakdown of his marriage so he'd used the opportunity to flee and come running to Hollyoaks.

Vinnie had been a different kettle of fish. He had been working for Danny Houston in Liverpool whilst Eileen and the kids remained in Belfast when he met him. Brendan had been 26 and Vinnie was a fresh faced blonde 18 year old who'd landed his first job after school. He was soft and quiet, a good little worker but a club hadn't been the place for him. In reality he should have got rid of him but deep down he knew the kid had potential, for him at least if not for the club. He'd been Vinnie's first and the boy fell quickly and hard, to be fair Vinnie had been a first for him too, he was the first regular male partner he'd had, all the rest had been quick one night stand encounters. This was where he'd realised the advantage of having a boy to hand that he could manipulate and control how he wanted. All good things come to an end though, Eillen had begun kicking off about him being gone all the time and pretty much being a single mother, guilt tripping him into quitting his club manager job and moving the family to Dublin. He never loved Vinnie or Macca, but learning what Danny had done to Vinnie had affected him in a way he'd never expected, the boy didn't deserve that, he was a sweet lad really.

Then there was Steven, Steven fucking Hay. The moment the 19 year old scally had walked into the club with the trays of sandwiches for the opening night, he'd caught his eye. Skinny, sandy light brown hair in a boyish floppy cut, smooth flawless golden skin, blue sparkling eyes with lashes like bambi, He hadn't thought much about having a type apart from liking them smaller and younger than him, but my god was this boy his type to a tee. His first impression was that he was a pretty stupid, godshite scrote, especially when he'd tried to blackmail him, then he was being wound up by how nosey the kid was, sticking his beak into his drugs business at every opportunity, but somewhere amongst that he'd become enthralled by him, obsessed almost.

He was the perfect juxtaposition of resilience and naivety, scepticism and trusting, maturity and vulnerability. A boy who's grown up with a hard life being knocked down at every turn, became a dad of two by 18 and did everything he could to provide for them and give them the best life possible. He and Steven were so alike in many ways, and polar opposites in others. He was manipulative, volatile and guarded and Steven was a genuine soul who wore his heart on his sleeve and had no problem being open and honest despite all the times he'd been hurt and let down in his life. He wasn't sure if he pitied him or was envious.

That was the boy who had turned his life on its axis, who had made him love, who had made him feel, who had made him hope he wasn't as broken as he'd always thought.

"Brendan?"

Shit, he'd gone off on a tangent there in his mind.

"Restock the bar"

"On it"

"Actually, when you're done with that… i've got another job for you, a very important one"

"Ok boss"

He leant back in his chair and smiled to himself. Boss, he liked that.

—-

He was nursing his hair of the dog whisky when Kevin walked into the office and slammed a bucket and sponge onto the floor, his chez chez t-shirt soaked through.

He huffed a laugh at the kid

"Raining out there?"

"Was that the big job? Me cleaning your car?" Kevin questioned unbelievingly.

"Well we all gotta start somewhere Kevin"

"Is this your way of telling me I'm getting too big for my boots?" Kevin asked whilst stripping his wet tshirt off his body seductively.

So fucking obvious. It was almost a turn off. Almost.

"This is me telling you that you need to clean my car" he stated levelly, maintaining eye contact.

"I'm ready"

"Ready for what?" he whispered back at the kid

"Anything you want" Kevin stepped closer so his thighs were almost touching the desk.

"Come closer" Kevin leant on the desk "put a top on" he returned his eyes to his laptop screen as Kevin dejectedly turned and went to the staff cupboard to pull out a spare shirt.

As the club was closed for the evening it was just Kevin and him left after he'd told Rhys to get off. Once the initial clear up was done, he invited Kevin into the office for a nightcap, the lad had been eyeing him up all night so it was only right that he gave him a little reward.

Brendan was looking at his phone when Kevin spoke

"You know you can get off if you want to? I can lock up"

"Can i? That's very kind of you Kevin, thank you" he responded deadpan

"I just mean I can cope on my own if you want to get off to your…boyfriend?"

He ignored the question "Tell me about yourself Kevin, you've been here 6 weeks or so and I know nothing about you" he drummed his fingers on the desk.

"Nothing to tell, just a guy new to town getting to know things, people"

"Anyone special in your life?" he was actually shocked how much his style had changed, there was a time he'd have just got Kevin alone in the cellar and bent him over a barrel. Laughable.

"Not yet" Kevin looked at him with lust filled eyes

"Are you flirting with me Kevin?"

"Wouldn't dream of it" the boy licked his lips

"Uh-huh" he pulled out 40 quid from his wallet and held it out "a bonus, for you, for cleaning my car"

Kevin stood and walked over to him slowly, he reached out to take the cash offered and let his hand linger. Kevin was making his intent clear, but he wasn't making the first move, he'd been around the block enough to know the power dynamic here. He lightly brushed his thumbs over the boys fingers before grabbing his wrist and yanking him over the table into a passionate and desperate kiss.

Kevin scrambled the rest of his body over the desk, knocking off everything that had been on it until he slid off the other side and into brendans lap pulling off his top once seated. The lad was bigger than Steven, heavier and more muscular and he lacked Stevens smooth face instead sporting stubble and a type of goatee. After some frantic tongue tennis Kevin sunk between his legs to the floor and swiftly undid his zipper and released his cock licking the tip and sucking on it before he could say a word. Kevin bobbed his head relentlessly groaning and moaning with every stroke, he was skilled enough at what he was doing for Brendan to throw his head back and enjoy the sensation. As he was getting close he tried to decide whether to let Kevin get him off with his mouth or to step this up and fuck him. He was craving some intimacy so decided for the latter, he pulled Kevin up to standing, undid his belt and yanked his trousers and boxers to the floor allowing Kevin to quickly step out of them. He pulled Kevin back down onto his lap with his own legs splayed wide allowing the lad to balance his weight on them. He spat on his fingers and reached around kevin to start playing with his hole and prepare him, Kevin kissed him throughout, making whining little noises and panting breathy moans. Once he'd prepared him enough he grabbed a condom out of the drawer and bagged up, he allowed himself to sink further down the office chair for a better angle and raised Kevins hips up to slowly lower him onto his cock. He got his feet firmly on the floor and began to thrust up into Kevin, slowly at first and once he knew the lad was used to him he continued more vigorously, the younger man was writhing about on top of him and throwing his head back whilst he moaned loudly. He loved watching men come undone under his touch, but all these noises and movements were fake, Kevin was putting on a performance, being the subservient but slutty partner that he assumed Brendan wanted, a pornstar act. Kevin had no idea though, no idea what he actually liked or more importantly who he actually liked and quite frankly Kevin was never going to match up. He continued to fuck him though, he could feel his climax coming so he wrapped his arms around the lads waist and buried his head into his chest, trapping Kevin's cock between their bodies with maximum friction. He came with a guttural groan and squeezed Kevin hard in his arms, the lad continued the bounce as much as he could to continue the movement on his own cock and came closely after. Kevin panted whilst tracing his hands up and down his back and shoulders, he shrugged him off without much thought, he tapped the lads arse as a sign for him to remove himself.

Kevin slowly lifted himself off and sat back on the desk in front of him, running his hands through the come that was spread on his own stomach. As he stood Kevin pulled him into a languid kiss and ran his fingers down the hair on his chest, Steven used to do that.

"Mmm that was worth the wait" Kevin spoke lazily as he grinned.

He removed the used condom, tied it off and threw it in the bin before tucking himself away.

"It's late, will you be alright getting home or shall I get you a cab?"

"Ouch" kevin replied sullenly

"It's not like that, just been a long day"

"I could come back to yours?"

He surprised himself by actually considering it, a warm body to have next to him in bed might be what the doctor ordered. In the end though he decided against it.

"Cheryl's home, she's already annoyed with me, if i start bringing back the staff i'll never hear the end of it."

Kevin nodded "i'll take that cab then if it's on offer"

—-

The coffee from college coffee didn't taste as good as the one from Carter & Hay, he was sure of it, couldnt put his finger on why, but it just didn't. He usually got Kevin or Walker to run down and get him his morning coffee from the deli (or his mid-morning, afternoon or pre-evening coffee) but neither were in until this afternoon and he couldn't go in there himself, he'd spent the last three weeks avoiding or blanking Steven. It wasn't just because he'd kicked off in the deli after finding out about Walker, it was because he'd been fucking Kevin and had been not too subtle about it, he'd touched him outside the club, had him at the flat when people were in, let Kevin flirt with him infront of people, he'd been distinctly un-brendan about the whole thing. It was partly because he'd been craving company, but mainly because he hoped it made its way back to Steven, he wanted Steven to feel as gutted as he had done when he found out about Walker, then once they were on an even playing field, he'd think about trying with him again. Old habits die hard you see and manipulating Steven was somewhat of an obsession of his and Steven himself was his addiction.

Once Kevin turned up he was following him around like a lost puppy, trying to find any reason to come and speak to him about nonsense, trying to find even more reasons to get as close as physically possible. 'Brendan, the beer pump isn't working' 'Brendan can you help me process this order" 'Brendan, the stock isn't adding up in the cellar, can you give me a hand'. He had to stop his eyes rolling out of his head the more it went on.

Walker showed his face around 1pm, just as Kevin was whining about being hungry after the appetite he'd worked up from his antics last night. Walker raised his eyebrow with a smirk and started counting the previous night's takings that needed to go to the bank.

"Im starving Brendan"

"Do I look like your mammy?! Go and get something to eat" he was losing his patience with the lad.

"Actually I haven't eaten either Kevin, I'm going to grab something from the deli if you fancy it?" Walker piped up.

That had his attention.

"Yeah, alright mate" Kevin stood up.

He hated the way Kevin used the word mate so much.

"Fancy anything in the deli, Brendan?" Walker had a smug look on his face, Brendan didn't miss his meaning.

"Yeah, bring me something back. Surprise me"

He knew Steven was working today, he'd caught sight of him as he'd walked in the front entrance to the club this morning, not that he'd acknowledged it.

"Sure thing boss" Kevin said with a wink and followed Walker out.

Kevin's attraction to Brendan was unmistakable and it was tiresome, something he'd never thought he'd say. He used to love when the boy's he was 'seeing' worshiped him, hung off his every word, fancied him more than anyone - as long as they kept it all underwraps of course, for his eyes only. Things were different now, he was out, he wouldn't say out and proud but people knew what he was. Still, Kevin's obvious behaviour towards him did nothing but irritate him. He couldn't help but draw comparisons with Steven, who used to admire him, adore him even, that's why he'd kept coming back to him despite everything he did. Somewhere along the way he'd got his fight back though and become more confident on the whole, which made Brendan love him even more. He could still be sweet, trusting naive Steven, but he had a scrappy and argumentative nature to him too, the kind you develop when brought up in hardship. That was Steven though, a tale of two halves, even when it came to sex. In the bedroom he was unashamed about doing or getting what he wanted and his insecurities would disappear, outside of it though, when Brendan would make sly comments in his ear or compliment him, he would get bashful, a coy smile playing over his lips and when the boy blushed, well the blood just rushed straight to his dick. He was both the Madonna and the whore, and if that wasn't the most arousing combination, he didn't know what was.

A short while later Kevin walked back in and placed a warm tightly wrapped parcel in front of him, the smell was incredible, he opened it quickly and couldn't help but imagine Stevens capable slender fingers as they'd made his lunch and wrapped it. He took a large mouthful of his panini and let out a long groan, god it tasted incredible, he began shovelling the rest in his mouth when he noticed Kevin looking at him. It wasn't the first Kevin had seen him eat, he knew it could be quite the spectacle, so he wasn't sure what the problem was.

"You enjoying that?" Kevin asked abruptly.

"Mmm, yeah, you got the chicken and chorizo one?"

Kevin nodded

He took another large bite, "my favourite" he said with a mouthful.

He ignored the slightly perturbed look that came over Kevin. After a couple of minutes, it dawned on him that Walker hadn't returned with him.

"Where's Walker?"

"He stayed in the deli, he was paying"

"How long does it take to pay for three panini's?"

"Dunno, his wasn't ready when ours were, he told me to come back here before they got cold and he'd follow"

He screwed the panini wrapper up in frustration and slammed it into the bin "i bet he did".

He stood and made his way towards the club balcony keen to break up any 'moment' Walker was having with Steven. As he was 2 feet away from the door, Walker came striding in, a large grin on his face.

"Miss me?"

"Get lost did you?"

"Just chatting, you know how it is".

"Yeah, yeah I do." He watched Walker confidently walk to the sofa and flop down, devouring his lunch.

"Delicious. Wonderful pick from Ste this is".

Deep breaths he reminded himself. Deep fucking breaths.

—-

As he walked into the flat he couldn't believe how thankful he was it was his night off, the days were getting long and the nights even longer. Cheryl was faffing about in the kitchen, she'd called him earlier and mentioned something about cooking a dinner, just him, her and Lyndsey as Joel was out. She'd just about forgiven him for his drunken antics those weeks ago, it had taken a fair amount of grovelling and agreeing to social and family 'fun time' like tonight.

"Ah the wanderer returns"

"Always with the dramatics sis"

She rolled her eyes and shoved a wooden spoon at him, gesturing with her hands for him to continue stirring the pot of chilli on the hob. She began chopping up veg for the salad.

"Everything ok at the club?"

"Yeah, busy for a weeknight but they're fine"

"Who's on?"

"Walker, Ash, Tom and Kevin"

Her appraising eyes measured him before she looked back at the chopping board.

"What?"

"Nothing, just surprised you're not jealous about Walker and Kevin working together."

He stopped and shot her a cynical look

"Me?" he pointed at himself "Jealous of that? I don't get jealous"

"Ha! Tell that to Ste and Noah!"

He bristled at the mention of them. Fucking Noah. "Kevin isnt Steven"

"Then what is he?"

"Something to pass the time"

"Oh well that's romantic, and is Kevin aware of this?"

"Jesus Chez i don't give you the third degree about who you have in your bed. What does it matter to you?"

"I just don't know what you're playing at"

"Playing? Why do I have to be playing at anything? You always think the worst"

"Aye and I'm usually not far off!" she slammed the knife down in frustration and took a deep breath "look he's your employee for one. The way you're behaving with him, you must have some sort of feelings for him. Then there's everything with Walker"

"There's nothing going on with Walker" he said sharply "that's in the past"

"Still, you have history, and don't even get me started on Ste. it just seems like one big shit storm waiting to happen and you're bang in the middle of it. I'm just worried about you"

He stopped stirring the chilli and walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and dipping his head to meet her eye line

"I'll be fine, it will all be fine. I know what i'm doing"

She rolled her eyes exasperated "now why does that worry me even more?"

He gave a small laugh "i'm as good as a choir boy, me" he gave her his best cheeky smile and she thawed.

A few moments later Lyndsey came bustling through the front door with a price slice bag and held up a bottle of wine.

"Got the goods! What a day"

"How is being back at the hospital Nurse Nolan?" he asked, Lyndsey had got her job back a few weeks ago now, another one with a fighting spirit in her.

"Full on, but nowhere else i'd rather be"

"Awww I'm so happy for you lynds! I'm just plating up. Brendan's been doing his very best stirring, almost rivals his arctic roll skills." Cheryl teased.

Lyndsey began setting the table.

"Have you spoken to Ste lately?"

Jesus why was everyone obsessed with Steven today? He looked up and realised she was talking to Cheryl.

"Erm, a couple of days ago i think, why love?"

"He just seems a bit subdued recently, i went in to the deli today and he was talking to himself"

Cheryl burst out laughing "Well in that case i'm far from alright, i talk to myself all day!"

He busied himself by the stove, trying to pretend he wasn't listening to their conversation.

"I don't know, something just felt…off"

"Well he's bound to be out of sorts with Amy leaving"

"What?" so much for him pretending he wasn't listening

"Yeah, She got some great course opportunity in Manchester so she's moved and taken the kids. You know how much he loves those kids, how hands on he is, it's going to take some getting used to."

"Poor thing" Lyndsey sighed

"I'll pop in tomorrow or something to see how he is, try and cheer him up" Cheryl mused.

You and me both Chez, you and me both.

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