It's not like it was the first time we'd been alone in a room together. In fact, it was weird how much we had already spent together with minimal supervision. But now, sitting in extremely ornate armchairs opposite a table, a setting meant for the meeting of potential spouses, the air was different. Iris was fidgeting slightly, waiting for me to say something.

I cleared my throat. "So, er, this is a bit weird, isn't it, Iris?"

"A little," she smiled. "But it's ok. We can just talk like old times."

I was relieved. "Old times nothing! You're a bigger adventurer than me now!" I exclaimed. "I heard during the celebrations that you killed, like, a thousand demon warriors in one attack."

"Oh, it was only 807," she said, with genuine modesty.

"Hey, that's still a crazy number, even for this world, right? No wonder they threw a parade for you."

"We were only successful because of everyone who helped, really…" she said shyly. Honestly, this princess was too perfect.

"Ah, I should have just sat back and waited," I sighed, leaning back into the armchair. "It was surely just a matter of time before you swept in with your own natural Cheat Power and finished off the Demon King single handedly."

"You know, you really killed the Demon King sooner than anyone expected," Iris pondered. "Were you in that much of a rush to marry me?"

"Come on, don't make jokes like that," I groaned. "Listen, I only killed the Demon King to level up. I can't be weaker than my little sister!"

She giggled. "I think you still need to kill a few more Demon Kings?"

"Hey, no way you're stronger than me right now!"

"Well, how about an arm wrestle?"

"You're on, little brat!"

We prepared ourselves opposite the little table. Her eyes burned with excitement, like she was a kid again for the first time today. We locked hands. Her grip was surprisingly firm, and wow, her hands were so smooth. I really needed to ask for her skincare routine.

"Ok, Iris, just because you're the princess, and my little sister, nay, because you're my sister, I'm not going to go EASY-"

At that sudden moment, I pushed with all my might, but her arm wasn't moving?! Did she change her arm to stone when I wasn't looking or something?

While I strained, Iris's smile softened. "Hey, Kazuma."

Wait. What's this sudden change in mood?

"Since I was young, I knew I would never be able to escape my royal duties, never be able to freely see the world, eventually marrying whatever 'charming' hero slays the demon king. And it was fine. I'd resigned myself to it."

Iris shuffled her body position to be a bit closer, her hand still locked rigidly in place. I tried pulling away, but she was completely unfazed by my struggle. It can't be… is it that development?

"But ever since you dropped into my life, I've been fascinated by you. Your sense of justice, your unconventional way of doing things. The way you treat everyone the same, even me. And all of a sudden, my future opened up like the endless sky."

It is that development! How do I have the princess route now when I never wanted it? Why are men so much more popular once they're taken?!

"Ever since you stayed here, taught me so much, and then stole my ring in such a dramatic way, I haven't been able to stop thinking about what would happen if you actually defeated the Demon King. And now…"

This is getting scary, I can't use magic or anything that might harm her or risk looking bad, or they'd have my head! I had no tools for handling this kind of attack, I'm totally defenceless! "H-Hey, Iris, come on, I know I'm amazing and all but, you don't really want to m-marry me, right?"

Iris's face was now inches from mine as I continued pleading with her. "Besides, I'm with Megumin, she's like a sister to you, isn't she? Ask her what kind of scum I am! Ask her!"

I recoiled, waiting for the inevitable kiss to land as my protests continued to fall on deaf ears. But instead, the princess's lips landed softly on my forehead.

"I couldn't ask for a better new older brother…"

She leaned back, pinning my arm for good measure before releasing it, and I fell back, breathing the tension out of me.

"Damn, Iris, you nearly did what the Demon King couldn't and killed me for real," I sighed. "You really had me going there."

She giggled. "As if I could marry you, big bro Kazuma. I'm sure big sis Megumin would destroy the whole castle!"

"So you really don't love me in that way?" I asked.

"No, girls don't get crushes on their older brothers just because they're not related by blood," Iris said, matter-of-factly. "And you were always very insistent that we were like siblings."

"But then, all that stuff, the way you were saying it…"

Iris fidgeted. "Oh, that… I was just teasing you. That's what little sisters do, right?" She struck a cutesy pose. "Sorry!"

This girl…!

"What I said was true though," she admitted. "I think my future is brighter, as long as you'll be in it. Can I count on you to help me?"

I smiled weakly, my heart still beating like it wanted to jump out of my body and run away. "Sure. Anything for my little sister."

We talked a little more before leaving. I caught up Iris a bit more about some of my adventures since we last saw each other, and she caught me up about how she had happened across some weird talking armour that became oddly friendly with her and helped her in her legendary battle against the demon princess's forces. That damn armour had done some good after all, it seems.

After a reasonable amount of time had passed, we left the room, to the expectant crowd of nobles we had left before. Iris whispered to Claire, and she turned to announce the decision.

"Attention all. The princess has decided-"

"WAIT!"

The doors burst open to reveal the red-headed little prince from Elroad. He was dressed in formal garb, but was breathing a little heavily, and looked ragged, as if he'd just sprinted here. Composing himself, he cleared his throat and pointed at me.

"I, Prince Levy, officially challenge the hero Kazuma for the hand of the Princess!"

Oh yeah, that was his name.

Time had passed, but the resulting drama had not. It had simply been moved into another private setting. The attendance was much reduced now, down to just Iris's consort, Levy and a few of his attendants, and Aqua and Darkness. And Claire had just given us some bad news.

"I have to fight HIM?" Levy and I exclaimed in unison, pointing at each other across the table.

"I-I'm afraid so," Claire said. "It would have been different if I was able to finish my announcement that Kazuma wasn't taking Princess Iris's hand…"

Ugh. So because this kid barely out of preschool couldn't wait for one more minute, I have to go through a big public ordeal.

"Well, it's fine," I said dismissively. "I can officially just forfeit…"

"No! You have to make it look close!" Claire said. "The people need to accept Prince Levy as worthy!"

"And I want to beat you fair and square, Kazuma. That is, if it will help the Princess see me as… a…" Levy trailed off, blushing furiously.

Young love. What a pain! "Iris? You can't be in favour of me losing to this pipsqueak?!" I pleaded.

Her eyes fell into contemplation, and the whole room became aware of her presence as a pure, innocent girl. "Ah, speaking truthfully, right now I'm just a young maiden. My heart can't help but flutter over seeing you two men fighting so valiantly over me…"

She's just putting it on, isn't she? This girl is becoming quite a troublemaker!

"What a pain! Fine, if it's what my little sister wants then I'll do it!" I complained. "But if you ask me, this whole thing is seriously contrived and super weird!"

"Should be funny though!" Aqua piped up, and Darkness seemed to agree.

If past experience was anything to go off, it would indeed be funny… for everybody except me.