Shifting Sands Chapter 18

Hanami didn't question Hina's sudden presence in her home. She let the girl soak in a warm bath for an inordinate amount of time until she was sure Hina was turning into a prune in there. It was only at that stage that she insisted the girl come out. Hanami cut her hair back to her shoulders knowing that it would grow long again, before putting out a lot of home-made foods on the table. Hina ate them silently but quickly, making pleased sounds every so often. Hanami remembered coming back from long missions and just craving warm dishes, especially when 90% of it was just travelling the wilds. Hina was far too young to do a mission that long, and though she hadn't gotten the details of what exactly the mission was, Shikaku sported a angry expression when Hanami had first asked.

She got the same sort of non-answer from Hina. It was unusual. Most Genin would not stop talking about their first mission. It was usually to complain about how boring of a D-rank it was. Now the newer Genin complained about keeping guard 24-7 only to see no action in the outposts. Hina in comparison was quiet, and a little too skinny from her time in the mission for it to have been conducted in a populated area with access to food. This probably wasn't good for an eight-year-olds development.

"How's your yin pathways?" Hanami asked as they got to washing the dishes.

"Oh… much better actually," Hina said with some surprise. "I um… all that physical activity increased my yang reserves so it's slowly going to balance it out."

"That's good. You know, if you want to talk about the mission, I'm free. As long as it's not classified, I can hear out your problems," Hanami offered.

Hina blinked owlishly and then pursed her lips. "It's all pretty much classified."

Hanami didn't miss the way she said that while holding her neck in a nervous tick. She also didn't miss the glaring fact that Hina had come to her place instead of going back home after her mission. Hanami didn't mind taking time off work to be there for her. Hina was like her own child. She had after all raised her from 3-years-old at her own home.

"Then come here. I never hugged you enough," Hanami said.

Hina lowered her head, burying it in her stomach as she wrapped those small arms around her waist. Hanami realised she had grown a little taller since they last met. At this stage Hina would be overtaking her in height soon, which wasn't that hard to do because she was rather short. The hug was warm, Hanami decided.

"Thanks… can I sleep here tonight?" Hina asked.

"Tonight and any night," Hanami said.

Hina hugged a little tighter. Hanami felt like her heart was full.

Hina had not yet won a single match of shogi with Shikaku, but regardless she enjoyed playing. She sat in his garden and moved a piece, and she could see his head turning with a strategy that was three steps ahead of hers. It was impressive. She could at least beat some of the other Nara members.

"How is Orochimaru treating you?" Shikaku asked.

Hina shrugged. "Not bad really. He's a tough instructor, expects results, but he's patient and forthright with information."

"But he's walked you through how to deal with what you've been through?" Shikaku asked.

Now she was confused. Hina paused the game to give him her full attention before she shook her head. Shikaku looked like he expected that answer, sighing deeply.

"Maybe it was because I'm teammates with a Yamanaka, but making sure you are mentally strong is as important as physical strength."

"I'm fine though. Didn't even kill anybody on this mission," Hina said.

"No, but you were taken captive by the enemy, no matter how short of a timeframe it was. That kind of loss of control can pose its own long-term problems," Shikaku said.

She considered his words. She'd never really been to a therapist, even in her past life. There was no need to talk about feelings when actions were all that mattered. But Shikaku wasn't asking her to talk about her feelings, he was asking her to get help managing them. She liked the sound of that. She didn't think having a breakdown about every little traumatic experience would be conducive to a Shinobi life. That had been her first mission, and she needed to prepare for more.

"Okay…"

"You weren't hard to convince," Shikaku said, with a small smile.

"Look, if it helps me not lose my shit, I'll do it," she said, smiling.

"Alright, I'll bring out a few books on grounding techniques and mental tricks," Shikaku said.

Hina frowned. "I thought you meant I was going to see a therapist…"

"A therapist?" Shikaku asked, genuinely confused.

It took her a moment to realise there wasn't even a word for that in this language and she'd just spoken in English.

Well that's entirely fucked up.

"Like someone who evaluates your mental state?" she presumed.

Shikaku caught her meaning. "You like making up words a lot, don't you? But yes, we have psyche evaluations. They happen periodically, especially after a Shinobi's first kill, or if something particularly traumatic happens. The book will help you with prepping answers for those as well. Often times Shinobi can be taken off field missions if they express negative physical displays towards stress responses."

The more Shikaku spoke, the more Hina was sure she needed to take a moment to digest how fucked up this world was. She didn't believe therapy was for everyone, heck her family hadn't believed in it at all, but she at least knew it needed to be there for the people who could benefit from it. Instead the Shinobi world focused on masking PTSD instead of treating the underlying cause. It made sense in a twisted sort of way. Who would want a Shinobi who would freeze on the field from a war-flash back. It was best to get them taken off mission roster lest they become a liability to their team. Still, there should be some kind of service for those people who couldn't simply stop having panic attacks or other PTSD symptoms. She wondered if they even had the vocabulary for PTSD.

It seemed the book was the next best thing, so she accepted it graciously. They went back to playing after that and Shikaku let her have a moment to herself to gather her thoughts.

"Do you feel safe with Orochimaru?" he asked.

"As safe as one can be with a councilmember trying to get me killed," she huffed.

Shikaku's eyes twitched, the only indication of his emotions. She knew he cared. Him being stone faced and asking all these questions was proof of it. She didn't need him to worry though. His worrying would get him nowhere. It became her problem the moment she chose this life. Maybe Shikaku could have afforded her some protections from those 'accidents' that Orochimaru warned her off. At this point she'd never know. She'd burned that bridge down after not speaking up more during the whole meeting. Maybe if she'd just tried a little harder, she could have been promoted to Chunin.

"I'm trying to undermine his hold over your mission assignments, but it will be difficult to do if you remain under Orochimaru. I only control the standard Shinobi forces, not ROOT. Consider dropping out of his tutelage. I can pull some strings, get you into Intel," Shikaku said, his voice carefully neutral.

Orochimaru's warning rung in her head. Hina was unsure if she made the right decision by trusting the Snake Sannin, but who else knew Danzo's mind better than him? There were more nefarious ways of making someone, even a high-profile individual, compliant to joining ROOT. Hina knew even Clan members weren't exempt from joining the ranks. She knew Yamanaka, and Aburame who were part of ROOT from the knowledge she held from her past life. If Danzo had Orochimaru, a Sannin, of all people wrapped around his fingers, then entrapping a fresh out of the academy Genin would be child's play. Shikaku wasn't even allowed to touch anything related to a ROOT mission roster. His inability to pull her out was telling enough. At least as Orochimaru's student, he could provide her with some status in Konoha, and more than that he was strong.

The missions sucked ass… but she was alive. He promised her, he'd keep her alive. Not to mention he was powerful. Training under him would be nothing but a boon to her end goal of becoming someone of power in Konoha. It was a pity she couldn't play it safer until she got strong enough to bat away someone like Danzo, but she had no choice now. Her family lived in this Village. She couldn't risk them by being too defiant of the old war monger.

She pushed her red shogi piece two steps up.

"No, the only path now is forwards."

He caught her meaning and nodded. At least he trusted her. Hina would try her best to live up to that trust.

As it turned out Obito and Rin had graduated, and according to the Academy instructors they were assigned to team Minato. Guy also graduated a month into her departure, forming a team with Genma Shiranui and Ebisu. So that left Hina with no one to hang out with. She decided to stop stalling and go back home. She may have spent more time than necessary doing a round of the block, buying some lunch, and then dallying in front of the bakery door for too long.

Her welcome home had been awkward and stunted, but to everyone's credit they came together to make her all her favourite foods and let her rest for a day. Hina paused her attempts at reaching out to her mother, remembering the face of her late one instead. Yua was cold, but now she remembered the voice and face of the woman who had really raised her. It was a bittersweet feeling. To remember at least the parts of her life with her late mother had put some things into context… mainly how some of the concepts from her past life had somehow transferred here.

On a meta level she understood that stories were derived from other stories. It made sense that a story made in Japan had religious elements of Shinto, Buddhist and Hindu lore woven into it. But Hina was struggling to wrap her head around how that translated to a very real world, one she could safely say felt real to her, but somehow ended up in the imagination of a man from another universe. The existential crisis bought on by this line of thinking was making her lose a little of her sanity.

More importantly she was stuck on her mother's explanation of chakra. So Hina bothered the librarian again. The hawk like woman sneering at her for disturbing her peace again brought her so much nostalgia. She finally found her way towards the right books eventually, detailing the eight chakra gates in the body. Very notably there wasn't one mention of the Thousand Petaled Lotus, or the crown chakra. She began reading the information curiously.

"The Eight Gates technique involves opening specific gates located within the body, each granting various enhancements to the user's abilities but also causing physical strain and potential harm. These gates include the Gate of Opening, which removes mental inhibitions, and the Gate of Healing, which increases physical strength and aids in rapid recovery. Other gates like the Gate of Life turn the user's skin red and enable techniques like the Reverse Lotus, while the Gate of Limit enhances strength but results in severe fractures afterward. Opening the Gate of View boosts all abilities and creates a powerful aura, while the Gate of Wonder produces a blue sweat and enables techniques like the Daytime Tiger. The final gate, the Gate of Death, grants immense power but leads to the user's eventual demise due to overheating. Each gate has distinct effects and consequences, highlighting the balance between power and risk in using this technique. Few practitioners have been documented, and none have survived opening all gates."

She finished reading the rest of the book detailing where the gates were located, and noted the difference between the concept of chakra in her previous life and the one here had the gates in different places. Beyond that there was most definitely biological differences between the average Elemental Nations human compared to the humans of her past life. Barring the completely new organ in their body distributing chakra, some other notable differences included higher bone density, an increase in red-blood cells, and a slight difference in the hormonal glands. And if someone decided to trace the difference between a civilian born and a clan born child they would also realise that the two weren't born the same. There was no equality here. Hina knew Clan children had far more neurological synapses formed in the parts of their brain that regulated hand-eye co-ordination and immediate complex thinking. Their hormonal glands also seemed to hold better under stress.

Frankly a civilian born child like her had nothing on the breeding of a clan born child from high breeding. It was why the eugenics of this world made far more sense than it did in her previous ones. The Uchiha and the Hyuuga would have superior doujutsu abilities when bred with those of their own kind, and if they needed to spread the gene pool, mingling with the Aburame would be their best bet genetically. All of this was to say that the tenketsu system was different in different Clans and even within individuals without Shinobi history. Her chakra pools were affected by this too, having above average ranges for a Clanless individual.

There was an unknown element when it came to her as well. Hina knew her tenketsu system couldn't have been normal. It was nearly fried by her excessive Yin chakra after all. Before her little visit into her own head, she'd always attributed it to the spiritual nature of Yin chakra, how it increased with experience and wisdom. She'd lived a whole life before so of course her tiny baby body would not have been able to handle the discrepancy between the Yang, her physical form, and the Yin her spiritual form. But now Hina was considering if it was more than just experience or wisdom… she was wondering if it was a whole other soul.

Could two souls even inhabit one body?

If it did, she wondered if maybe she had two oscillations, one tenketsu system weaving chakra through her body, and another system, one more spiritual in concept. Like her mother said; the prana, or life force, was spinning through her body. If she could get in touch with all eight chakra gates maybe she could activate her crown chakra again. She had a feeling her opportune head wound hadn't nearly activated the full extent of whatever it was the crown gate could offer her.

So this posed a problem. Hina needed to study her own tenketsu system, but she didn't want to cut herself open on a table to do so. She needed to either find a Hyuuga willing enough to aid in her future experimentation, or she'd need to create a diagnostic jutsu accurate enough to pin and trace each point of her tenketsu system.

"Sensei could help," she mumbled to herself.

Then she repeated that sentence in her head and decided it was a dumb fucking idea.

"Yup, no… I'll do this on my own."

After the roadblock faced with exploring a new way to get into her own head, Hina had decided to start trying to summon snakes. It worked of course… she managed a few baby snakes, the kind that would be absolutely useless for anything. She had all the chakra control and none of the chakra… few days of trying to summon something and failing horribly had left her more frustrated than motivated to continue. She could have made more leeway in something she could actually do like Fuinjutsu or her Ninjutsu instead.

Feeling the sting of loneliness with no Guy to challenge her, no Obito to pester and annoy, no Rin to read with, and no Kakashi to spar with, Hina decided to bother Orochimaru. He was her Jounin sensei after all, he had a duty to answer all her questions and fill her spare time with work. She had Kushina's basic Fuinjutsu notes and as it turned out, studying Fuinjutsu alone was difficult. So she sat in the lounge room of his laboratory, taking up his desk space with her paper and ink.

"Sensei, look I got the seal structure down, but the numerical order doesn't make any sense," she said.

"Have you tried subtracting every second kanji?"

She got it in her next try.

"Sensei, I managed to get the seal structure down, but the chakra flow is messed up."

"Have you tried interconnecting the numerological pattern?"

She got it in her next try.

It went on like that for a few hours until Hina was unceremoniously picked up by the scruff like a cat. She yelped, flailing in the hold before Orochimaru shunshined her into the field. She lurched to the ground, dropping like a sack of potatoes.

"Sensei, what was that for?" she whined, rubbing her sore ass.

He gave her an unamused look. "You've been distracting me from my work with your incessant questions. So I might as well put my time to good use to instruct you in something more immediately useful than Fuinjutsu."

Hina took offence to that. She wasn't bothering him, just asking relevant questions. Also Fuinjutsu was immediately useful… it just took an eternity to learn. Even a basic explosion tag was a lot more difficult than it seemed. And she was too embarrassed to ask him for help with her snake summoning… not when it should have been relatively easy. Though she was curious what Orochimaru considered useful training.

"What will I be learning?" she asked.

He threw her a wooden sword, and Hina scrambled to catch it. She looked down at the practice weapon in mild surprise. Konoha was of course not known for its Kenjutsu. That was more of a Kiri thing. Though as she thought about it, this could be incredibly useful to her. Kenjutsu and Genjutsu used in conjunction could be quite useful. If she recalled correctly Orochimaru was one of the best Kenjutsu users in Konoha, and he'd passed that skill to Sasuke in the story too. She was being given an opportunity to learn something most Konoha Shinobi lacked.

"Kenjutsu! This will be interesting," she said.

"Watch me for now. I'll instruct you on some basic stances, and forms," he said.

Hina watched as he fluidly pulled out his sword, twirling it in one hand before getting in form. He swung deftly, with precise but not quick swings. He was deliberately moving slowly to show her how to follow along. She watched him repeat the movements and tried copying it herself.

"Feet wider and don't hold your hand so close to the hilt," he instructed.

Hina followed his instructions as best as she could, but he continued fixing every little issue with her stance until she was fairly certain if she moved an inch to the left he would be disappointed. By the end of his instructions he had asked her to swing, but she just stood there wide eyed and terrified to move even a smidge. Orochimaru looked at her for a long moment and then sighed.

"Just swing," he encouraged.

"Alright, if you say so," she muttered, chanting a sutra to calm her nerves.

She swung and Orochimaru made a sound between irritated and disappointed. Hina cringed. This was terrible. She knew putting together two perfectionists would have done this. She had to bite back her own negative self-talk and remind herself that this was the first time she'd even held something with an approximation to a sword.

"Let's do it again," she said with determination.

Orochimaru nodded and then made her swing again and again, using his sheathed sword to fix her posture whenever she slacked. This went on for a couple of hours until Hina thought she'd remember this movement even in her sleep, and her thighs ached from the constant bending. She dropped the bokken and noticed the callouses forming in her hand and grimaced.

"I think we've done enough for today. You'll keep practicing that movement until it's perfect. The initial swing if targeted correctly could be the most important to winning a battle," he said.

Just as they were about to pack it up for the day Orochimaru's attention turned to the tree line behind him. Hina turned to look at what he'd just noticed and only noticed the ROOT member slip into view when he was in front of her sensei. She really needed to work on her situational awareness, she reminded herself. The silent man dropped as scroll into Orochimaru's hands, bowed briefly, and disappeared in a blur. She looked at the scroll and felt her stomach roll uncomfortably.

"Another mission? So soon. We just got back," she said, finding her voice was giving out.

"They'll have to give us two weeks rest time before they can send us back out," Orochimaru said.

That was barely anything. The last mission had taken 5 and a half months to complete. She just got back home, and they expected her to go out there again. She knew missions during wartime usually took maximum 3-4 weeks for the average Shinobi. Extended missions into enemy territory was reserved for Jounin teams. Then it hit her that Kakashi would be 9 already as well. He must be a Jounin already.

It was difficult to imagine him as a Jounin when he was such a baby-faced kid. But she needed to help him, and her goal of becoming Chunin by 9 was broken now. All that effort trying to get a field certification, only to be sidelined into ROOT specific missions would ruin her plans. She needed to be out there with Kakashi, Rin, and Obito. She needed to keep them safe, stop Madara and Zetsu's plans from taking off in the first place. Most of all, she needed to make sure her best friend wouldn't live a life of heartache. She needed to become strong, and fast. She'd take whatever mission they threw at her, even if it was a bloody S-Rank.

"Sensei, will this one take long too?" she asked.

Orochimaru sighed, as he read through the mission directive. "Indeed it will, though it won't be dangerous if we play things correctly."

"Another sabotage mission?" she asked.

"Yes, it is my speciality after all," he said before throwing her the mission scroll.

Hina picked it up and unfurled it. The A-Rank stamp was on the top again, but thankfully the estimated duration of the mission was only 3 months. It was still a long time, but the travel didn't seem too far. It simply took her back to Rice again. Hina was admittedly a little excited to visit the forests there again. The giant flora was quite a sight to see, almost alien and otherworldly. It was the only bright part of the first mission she'd gone on, outside of the knowledge that Soma was still alive out there somewhere.

But that was where the good news ended. The mission was categorized as an assassination. It was also… not a Konoha directed one according to the classification.

"Sensei, this isn't an internally directed mission," she noted, her unasked question directed to him.

"If you recall, Rice is the closest thing to a political ally Konoha has. How do you think that is?" he asked.

Hina thought about it, and recalled reading in a newspaper that Rice's Daimyo was just a kid, and then it came to her. "We have a puppet leader there," she ventured.

Orochimaru nodded. "That's exactly right. We like to make sure there isn't any civilian or noble unrests there, after all they are our biggest producers of grain. It's essential that they exist to feed our troops."

Then it all seemed to click together. She wondered if it was all connected.

"In our last mission, we destroyed a Kumo railway which Rice was using to smuggle grain through from Frost. This was breaking some kind of agreement, yes? So some higher up is being bought out," she concluded.

"That's right. It's also in the Daimyo and his advisors interests to ensure they stay on our good side. After all, their Shinobi are weak. Konoha provides them with safety, and stability, and they return it with trade. Places like Rain and Grass don't have the same safety net with their lack of resources to leverage."

Hina nodded, taking in a deep breath. Orochimaru tapped her head with the scroll bringing her out of her thoughts.

"You aren't freaking out as much," he said, though it was always difficult to tell if he was pleased with her or not.

"Yeah," she breathed out. "I made this bed, so now I get to lie in it. Plus, the harder the challenge the better I'll get. Danzo will regret sharpening this blade."

Orochimaru smiled, though it was a sharp one.

"Good to know your spirits aren't broken. This mission isn't going to be as physically demanding, but it will be difficult. Don't take it easy just yet," he said.

And just like that she was on a time crunch again.