Memoirs of the Holy War

by Naryfiel Lilith

It was a war that spanned across two generations. It was a war that tore Jugdral to pieces. It was a war between those who only did what they thought was right. It was a war manipulated by those who had suffered too much. It was a war filled with tragic mistakes and crippling hope. It was a war immortalized by the survivors, and this is their tale. (FE4 Novelization)

27. Interlude - Pall

Interlude - Pall

---

Why must the situation in Agustria become more complicated, not less? We'd barely been here a few months, and already, we must navigate a mire to keep Grannvale's wrath from falling on Agustria, because Grannvale would never admit fault. The entire situation felt like a complicated wound, with pus and necrosis threatening to devour all within. Whenever you tried to clean and cut, you had the fear in the back of your mind that you were only making things worse. Yet if you did not intervene at all, the sepsis would kill them. So, you had to keep trying and hoping.

Destruction via others' good intentions... that man played everyone tragically well.

---

When we returned to Agusti, I gave myself a day to relax before heading to Mackily. Deirdre sulked, since I'd only just returned, but I rambled enough about medical books to convince her I was going for 'fun', not 'work'. In fact, everyone thought the same and so, saw me off with a smile. Only Chulainn, who accompanied me, was aware of the hidden objective.

Upon our arrival, Lykos met us and requested Chulainn teach his knights again, offering to serve as my escort in the meantime. Chulainn made a show of thinking before agreeing, and that was how Lykos managed to hide the reason why he was coming to the infirmary with me. Cassian, of course, greeted us with an excited smile, before 'complaining' about how the servants cleaned his room again, so he had to hunt for the book he wanted to lend me. As such, I 'had' to wait while he searched, and Lykos decided to keep me company so I wouldn't be bored.

For something that hadn't been fully planned, it was remarkable how smoothly it all went.

"Thank you again for coming, Lady Alicia," Lykos murmured, pulling some papers from Cassian's desk. It felt a little too obvious for a hiding spot, but then again, Cassian's dislike of people cleaning his space was well known. "When I was appointed the temporary lord, I went through Clement's study and found a hidden compartment in his desk." He returned to the table where I sat and handed me four papers. "Underneath the love letters his wife left him were these."

"Is that so?" I asked, curious. I waited to hear more, but when he didn't continue, I decided to unfold the topmost one. What I read left me cold. "This is..."

'C.

These are the letters I spoke of. I understand your skepticism, but I could not stand by knowing what I know. I too know the feeling of watching helplessly as your world collapses and could not bear to see another suffer it a second time. You have given everything to Mackily to recover from your wife's death. Why should it suffer for another's greed?

-M.'

"Conveniently, there's nothing about 'how' he obtained these, though perhaps that was in their previous conversation," I whispered, studying the paper more closely. If there was anything else hidden within, I could not see it. "How did his wife die?"

"Lady Corinthia died over a decade ago, from a wasting disease," Lykos answered softly. He spoke of her respectfully, despite how he referred to Clement nowadays. "I fear I do not know the name. Cassian might."

"It was probably tuberculosis." Historically, it was sometimes called 'wasting disease' or 'consumption', due to the dramatic loss of body weight as the disease slowly ran its course. "It's only recently that a reliable treatment was found." Even Father Eirik had been excited to hear of it and made sure I knew it well. In a way, it had been the only 'present' I'd gotten from him upon coming of age. "Clement turned to Mackily in his grief, didn't he?"

"Larisa said something like that. Since he lost the one he loved most, everything went into ensuring he did not lose the other thing he loved, which was Mackily. As such, he became very cautious and neutral, refusing to make any move until the dust settled." And then we…

"It sounds like this mysterious 'M' took advantage of that. I imagine this was a reinforcement to an earlier emotional appeal." This was the 'logic' to make the emotions hit harder. "So, what did he give?" I took the next one and threaded it all together in an instant. No wonder Lykos had wanted clarification sooner rather than later. "This is falsified."

"You're certain?"

"Yes. There are too many words." The paper I held was a letter detailing a plan to subjugate Agustria, signed by 'Byron'. But the letter was long, the words filling up the entire page. "Byron is a man who hates writing. The fact he wrote a paragraph to Deirdre was taken as proof of how excited he was to meet her. And he hates signing to the point that it's a struggle to get his signature for official reports." The writing itself also looked off, but I was not the authority on that. "Let me see the others." The second one I picked up was signed by 'Ring'. "I'm not as confident on this one, but I believe the writing is different from the letter I previously received from him. I'd need to bring it to Edain or Sigurd to confirm, though."

"I see." He smiled slightly, looking both conflicted yet relieved. "And the last one?"

"Hmm..." I picked it up, and nearly threw it to the side. "That's not Kurth's writing. I can guarantee that myself." Not even the signature was correct. Whoever made these forgeries should've put in more effort. "This isn't going into how none of the three are stupid enough to write these things so openly. Kurth knows a wide range of codes and likes them to the point he and my mother would code their research notes as part of a game." Even with me, important information was passed via the Rose Code, a historical cipher very few knew in the present. He'd never be so careless. "But I suppose my opinion doesn't matter, if it successfully tricked Clement. Did he enact that haphazard plan because he felt it was the only way to secure Mackily's safety?"

"It was still a foolish way to do so."

"But he's not the only one who thought to use a hostage to slow and deter. Zyne did the same." Clement's plan was more extensive, but he'd also needed to 'slow' a nation. "Why did he originally plan on drugging her, though? Was it to try and appease Chagall?" It made no sense. I returned to the original letter to see if I could find something between the lines, and Lykos made a noise. "What is it?"

"I didn't notice before, but there are markings on the back." I flipped it over and saw he was correct. "Strange, why would there be...?"

"Perhaps there's a hidden message?" I studied the markings closely, thinking they resembled pieces of words. For instance, I swore one looked like half of an 'ed'. "They're along the folds, so maybe..." I folded the letter carefully, lining up the markings, and went cold. I'd been right. There was a message. But it was...

'Use charisyn to sedate her.'

"...Cassian!" I shouted as soon as I read it. Lykos looked surprised, probably because he'd never heard me raise my voice. I always did my best to speak calmly and evenly, but right now... "Cassian, can you come here, please?"

"What happened?!" Cassian asked, swinging back into the room. There was the sound of things falling, like he'd literally dropped everything to rush over. "You two... don't seem hurt. And there's no one here, so..."

"What drug did Clement ask you for?"

"Pardon?"

"What drug did Clement ask for before he took Deirdre hostage?"

"Nimid. Why?"

"Oh." I breathed out slowly, forcing myself to calm down. Nimid... nimid was still bad, but it wasn't...

"So, do I get an explanation or...?" Unable to find the words, I pushed the letter towards him. "Related to the papers, huh? What had you...?" He froze when he read the message. "Those mother...!" And he proceeded to turn the air blue with curses that would make a mercenary and sailor wince.

Poor Lykos had to wait until Cassian quieted before he could calmly ask, "what is nimid?"

"Nimid is a sedative, powerful with a brutal withdrawal," I whispered dully, slowly forcing myself to calm down. Cassian was still cursing under his breath. "However, because it's hard to overdose, it is sometimes prescribed for the heavily injured to help them sleep, so they do not become addicted to other pain medicines." Father Eirik had his own variant which I used instead, but even he would use nimid if necessary. "Because it's only used in dire circumstances, few healers would have it readily made, hence Clement's request."

"I see. So, what has you both like this?"

"It seems our mysterious 'M' suggested their own drug: charisyn." Oh, I went cold again at the name. The very idea of Deirdre being forced to take it was... "I think I need some tea." I wanted to vomit. "Cassian, please?" Cassian nodded and headed over to his tea making station, his eyes hard and his jaw locked in place. "I'm sorry, Lykos. Please give me a moment."

"It's fine." He frowned in concern, and hesitantly pulled the note closer to him. "But I fear I don't know what 'charisyn' is."

"It's the medical name for 'the dust', Lykos," Cassian answered for me as he found the pot. And Lykos's entire being, from his expression to his posture, locked up.

Charisyn, 'the dust'... it was a very powerful hallucinogen, trapping its victims in a perpetual state of ecstasy. It also completely warped the person's perception so that they only saw what would make them happy. No matter who was around them, they would only see friends and loved ones. All pain became pleasure. All food would be their favorites. Everything was twisted so they would only experience happiness, except for one thing: withdrawal. The withdrawal was agonizing, as painful as the drug was cloyingly sweet. Because of the numerous ways it could be abused, Grannvale took a strict 'no tolerance' policy. Possession was instant imprisonment; distribution was often death on sight.

"...If that is what the writer suggested, then I am going to have to assume our mysterious 'M' didn't care about Mackily or Clement," Lykos finally whispered. He breathed in slowly and breathed out even slower, forcing himself to calm down. "In fact, I would go so far as to suggest they were after Lady Deirdre and tried to use Mackily to get her."

"The question would be 'why'," Cassian sighed, coming over with the tea. By the smell, I could tell it was ginger. Based on the taste, I guessed he mixed some dried peaches with it. "I won't pretend she doesn't have enemies; all nobles do whether they know it or not. But who would go this far?" Yes, that was the question and, unfortunately, I had an answer, one I would never be able to tell.

The Loptrians... they were the only ones I could think of who would go to such lengths to secure Deirdre. If she'd been dosed with charisyn, she would've gone with them willingly. And if she'd been their goal from the start, then it was no wonder Clement's plan had been so haphazard. He hadn't made it at all. 'M' had suggested it, and it was never meant to 'fully' succeed. It was only meant to separate her from those who would protect her. It was only meant to subdue her long enough for capture.

I had to tell Sigurd and Deirdre as soon as possible.

We sat in silence for a long while, simply drinking our tea as we digested what we learned. Only when the pot was finished and Cassian made a second did Lykos ask, "Lady Alicia, will you take the other two letters to confirm?"

"Of course," I replied, thinking it obvious. But, then again, sometimes you had to ask the obvious to help ground yourself in the present. Sometimes, you needed that reassurance. "Sigurd can inform you during the next report." I looked forlornly at them, wishing Clement had said something, anything, before acting. But I already knew why. He couldn't trust us. Any answers we'd give would have been taken in bad faith. So, he kept his silence, and died for it.

None of us could think of anything else to say, so we finished the second pot in the same silence as the first. When I stood, Cassian handed me a medicinal textbook I hadn't read yet, and I used it to hide the letters within. After saying my goodbyes, Lykos escorted me to the training yards, where Chulainn was finishing up a lesson, and I spent some time chatting with the knights, though I did not see Alexius or Ulyssess. Once we were done being social, Chulainn and I retired to the townhouse we'd used when we stayed in Mackily, leaving only secure food from a nearby inn.

"Your mood is dark," Chulainn observed much later, long after we'd finished eating. We were slowly winding down, with me reading through Cassian's book while he brushed my hair. The letters remained hidden, just in case. "What did Lykos find?"

"It's potential evidence Clement was tricked into becoming our enemy," I whispered, afraid to speak louder. Just saying it made my heart ache. "I feel sorry for him."

"I don't. He made his choices, which he clung to despite being reminded of the consequences."

"We ruined him for doing what he thought was right."

"Such is war."

"I suppose." Good intentions didn't justify poor actions. The end rarely justified the means. I believed this, and yet… "I'm reminded of King Batu." That was all I could say, since anything more skirted too close to secrets I could not share.

But I couldn't help but see the similarities. They were both protective of their own. They were both tricked into 'preemptively' attacking Grannvale to try and get the upper hand. And both had died for it. While we had salvaged King Batu's reputation, Clement would not get that grace.

And then there was the other feeling simmering under the surface, spurred by King Jamke's words. Once again, there was a common thread between Agustria and Verdane, the same melody with different words. Was King Jamke right? Were we being played?

I was terrified of the answer. And so, I kept silent.

---

The worst part about pretending you had just been visiting a colleague was you had to act like nothing was wrong. I delivered the letters to Sigurd and went about my days as normal despite the turmoil in my heart. The best way to do so was to keep myself busy, with lessons and examinations and studying. However, when Kurth sent a package, I dropped everything because it included the book he'd read to me as a child, and I was terribly interested. So, I canceled everything for the day, and settled into one of the garden gazebos to read. Chulainn joined me, casually weaving flowers together into various charms and 'jewelry'.

It was a peaceful day, a balm to my rattled heart, and that's why it didn't surprise me when I suddenly heard someone call my name.

"Alicia, Alicia!" Dew's voice drifted through the immaculate flowers, and I lifted my head as he rounded a corner and nearly fell straight into a flower bed. "Whoa!" He caught himself, though, and lightly landed on his feet. "Hello!" he greeted cheerfully, beaming at me. "Is everything alright? I just heard the lessons were canceled."

"Yes, we're fine," I reassured, tucking a finger into the book to mark my place before closing it. The story was different than Cigyun's favorite, more focused on the protagonist, 'Conall', as he tried to adapt to a changing world in the wake of a grand lie being revealed. It was a story about how all things change, how history was relative, and how you could learn even from the lies told. It wasn't something you'd expect from a child's tale, and I had a feeling it wasn't meant for a one-year-old. What sort of toddler had I been that I'd liked it? It was a good story, of course, but did toddlers normally catch such nuances? Maybe I'd just been happy to spend time with him. "I'm only reading."

"Oh, I thought you were sick or something. You never take a day off." I was better about these things! "You said 'reading', not 'studying', so I'm guessing it's not a medical book."

"No, it's a story Kurth read to me as a child."

"Oh." He blinked a few times, like he was surprised. I wasn't sure why; I read fictional books before. Did he think it childish? "Um..." My confusion only increased at how hesitant he became, his eyes flicking to the book. "Can I borrow it? When you're done?"

"You want to borrow it?" Why would he? There were many children's books in the library here. But despite the hesitance, he spoke with earnestness, and I was always weak to such. "It might take a little while, but would you like to borrow a different one I heard as a child?" I still had the one Cigyun read me, after all.

"Y-yeah, that's fine!" He perked up immediately, and I couldn't help but smile. I… I wanted to share those stories. Those pieces I had left from Cigyun… I wanted to share them. "Silvia and I can read it together. If that's okay."

"Yes, I hope you enjoy it. You can pick it up later." I tried to decide how to continue the conversation, but then I heard a noise in the distance. It sounded like... "Why is Sir Arden calling your name?"

"Oh… fudge." Dew coughed. "I think a prank went off too soon."

"What are we to do with you?" Yet my only thought was how to help him hide. Ah, I was terrible. "You know; I do need someone to check my inventory since I'm taking the day off. Would you-?"

"On it!" And he was out of sight in a blink.

"Goodness!" I laughed, unable to help it. Chulainn's slight smile showed he found it just as amusing. "You wouldn't think he's almost of age, acting like that." I opened my book back up to try and return to the story, but it only reminded me of Dew's request. "I wonder why he wanted to read it." While he read very well, it wasn't his favorite activity.

"Speaking of my own experiences..." Chulainn began, pretending to be focused on the flowers he was weaving. But his voice was too soft, like a dandelion about to break in the wind, for this to be anything but pained. "Eigyr… she always wanted to do what I was doing, read what I was reading. I think it's something younger siblings do."

"Oh," I mumbled, not sure what to say. How should I react, when he was determined to pretend he didn't hurt? "You think he thinks of me as his older sister?"

"Alicia, if they're younger than you, I guarantee they think of you as their older sister." His smile was slight, and pained, but there was mischief in it too. "I think even the ones who aren't older still consider you such."

"Now you're being silly." But I was glad to see it. "What's with the flowers, by the way?"

"I'm practicing."

"For?"

"Secret."

"Can I earn it with a kiss?"

"Well, this is a conundrum. The answer is 'no', but now I want to kiss you." His eyes flicked to the side, his head tilting. "Ah, but we're about to have another visitor."

"Are we?" I sighed heavily and found a bookmark to mark my place and close it properly. "I have a feeling I've read all I can for the day."

"Read while working on those sewing projects."

"I just might."

"Oh, Lady Alicia, there you are!" Ah, and here came visitor number two: Erinys. She was a surprise, since outside of her examinations, I rarely saw her. "I checked for you in your room, but obviously, you weren't there," she laughed, smiling warmly at me. "Am I intruding?"

"No, I was simply reading, and Chulainn is playing with the flowers," I reassured, gesturing at Chulainn's creations. He'd returned to his weaving, focusing on flower crowns. "Is all well? Your injury isn't bothering you, is it?" It had scarred over, and she would resume a normal diet within the next couple of weeks, but it could still be itching.

"No, it's fine. I barely notice it." She clasped her hands behind her back and leaned forward slightly. "But I had a question. Are you afraid of heights?"

"Pardon?" That wasn't a question I'd ever gotten before. "I do not think so? I rarely go anywhere high."

"Are you afraid of riding?"

"Oh, no, I'm not."

"Then, would you like to go on a flight with me?"

"A flight?" I wasn't sure I heard correctly, but her sweet and sincere smile told me I had. "I…" I had to think about it for a moment, but she didn't seem to mind. "That does sound interesting." It wasn't a lie, even if I was more curious as to why she asked. "Chulainn, you don't mind, do you?"

Chulainn, of course, didn't mind, and he even helped me into the saddle once we made it to the stables. I handed him my book as Erinys strapped both of us in, and after ensuring we were both comfortable, she took to the skies. It was surprising how similar it was to riding a horse, almost as surprising as how gentle the wind was. I expected something harsh or biting, due to the elevation and speed, but it wasn't. I could even call it 'soothing'. I almost closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling, but decided against it. If my eyes were shut, then I could not see the landscape below, and there was something beautiful from seeing it up high.

"Nothing like it, is there?" Erinys murmured once we stopped climbing. From up here, everything looked so small, but not insignificant. No, it all looked like a tapestry, with all of its important threads. "I love being up in the air; it always helps me clear my head." When she said the words, I suddenly understood her random offer. Despite my efforts and usual stoicism, she, or someone she'd spoken to, had realized something was wrong and so, she offered what comfort she could. Though it was embarrassing to be found out, I couldn't help but be touched.

"I can see why," I whispered, letting that be my answer. She beamed in response, and I paid more attention to the ground, noticing someone with green hair was now standing with Chulainn. Since the person wore blue and no turban, I took a guess as to who it was. "Is that Lewyn?"

"Probably?" She leaned a little forward so she could get a better idea of where I was looking. "Ah, yes, that's Pr… that's Lewyn. I thought he might be near. He always makes the wind dance when I fly, since it makes me laugh."

"Oh?" Her words sounded lighthearted, but there was also something tense to them. "And how are things with you two?"

"Huh? W-what do you mean?" Erinys straightened and, to my surprise, blushed faintly. "I know how we seem sometimes, but we're not… I mean he's got a massive crush on Annand, which I can't blame him for because Annand is amazing, but-"

"Erinys, I meant how were you coping, considering you left home to find him and he ran away?" I kept my tone gentle and soothing, despite my confusion. I didn't think I'd implied anything about romance? "I haven't heard anything, aside from you sending the rest of your squad back to Silesse."

"Oh, that's…" She colored more, this time from mortification, and she coughed to try and dispel the awkwardness. "We're… um… coping?" Her answer was one part defensive, one part sheepish, and one part sincere. Almost everything she did was at least a little sincere. "I did ask for a little space as I tried to process that he was fine, especially since he said he didn't plan on returning." Lewyn, I swear... "Oh, but he changed his mind. Mostly. Says he has to muster the nerve." That was fair. "He's staying here for now because Lord Sigurd is 'a neat fellow to work with' and his army was filled with beauties." That... strange, that didn't fit what I knew of Lewyn. In fact, from what I understood, he was often annoyed by people flirting with him, even when it was playful like Silvia's. "He then said something about how I should get to know the ladies here, so their stylishness would rub off on me. Before telling me it was a joke and I really should stop taking everything so seriously. Oh, and to not change a thing because I was sweet as I am." ...All right, I may not know social graces, but I had a distinct feeling he'd been trying to clumsily flirt with her. "What do you think?"

"I think I am the last person to be advising anyone about stylishness."

"But you always look so elegant."

"All of my clothes were designed by Ethlyn, Edain, or Lachesis." I hadn't designed or made my own clothes since I decided to stay. "Deirdre will weigh in sometimes."

"Oh, I meant in demeanor. It must be an older sister thing; Annand is the same way."

"That is the second time I've been compared to her. Who exactly is she?"

"Annand? She's my older sister!" Erinys beamed, admiration and respect radiating off her. "She's the best. She's just as pretty and nice as she is strong, and she's the leader of Silesse's pegasus knights."

"So, is she one of the 'Angelic Knights' as well?"

"Heavenly Knights, and yes. The Heavenly Knights are… we're the highest ranked. But only three of us are called 'Captain'. Annand is the sole 'General' of Silesse. Thus, she's the strongest of us."

"I see." I looked down at the pegasus, marveling at how calmly it flew. "I've heard in Silesse the military is primarily filled with women. Is it because pegasi only let women ride them?"

"Yes, that's correct. Silesse's climate favors the maneuverability of pegasi, and truthfully, we don't even have much of a bandit problem because anyone who tries usually ends up frozen in the snow. Shelter is hard, and many villages end up buried in avalanches. Our primary duties as pegasus knights are keeping the peace within cities and performing search and rescues."

"Why do they only let women ride them?"

"There are as many stories as there are stars in the sky. Everything from 'women tend to be lighter' to 'an ancient pact forged with Forseti' to 'they are the reincarnations of women who died in battle'." Out of these options, I'd think only the second made sense. The first was not a universal truth, while there was something sad about the third. "Regardless of why, though, it is what it is. They're not easy to break into submission. Not even the dark mages of the Empire were able to bend their will."

"I see." I didn't want to think of dark mages right now. It was too close to the secrets I could never speak. "How does your pegasus like Shannan?"

"Shannan?" She hummed a little in thought, unperturbed by the random questions. "Euryale likes it when he pets her, which is strange because she's very picky. It took her months before she let Lewyn close enough."

"Oh, good." I laughed without thinking and she made a noise in confusion. "Those with Od blood seem to have a strong bond with animals. I think he would've been heartbroken to meet one who didn't like him."

"Well, we don't want that. He's dealt with enough heartbreak, too much for a child." She hummed a little in thought, a lighthearted tune. "Perhaps I should take him up to the skies too. Do you think he'd like it?"

"I think he'd love it. Ayra might ask about safety, though. I'm surprised there's straps for passengers."

"Not everyone rescued from the snows is conscious, so our saddles were designed with that in mind. And if this was battle speed, you'd want those straps for the twists and turns." She grinned then, mischief incarnate. "Here, I'll show you!"

"Wait, Erinys, that wasn't meant to be...!"

Unfortunately, Erinys immediately had her pegasus dive and turn and I spent a breathless few moments wondering if I was going to fall. The straps proved their worth, though, and I remained perfectly secure no matter how sharply she turned. Though I refused to admit it, there was something exhilarating about all the colors blending together, and it was almost a shame when Erinys had us land lightly, as graceful as a feather, by the stables. Lewyn came over to unstrap me from the saddle, while Chulainn helped me down.

"I apologize if I was interrupting anything," he commented, offering his hand to Erinys. She took it with a smile and used him as a balance to dismount. "I was passing by, and saw you had an eiclia as a passenger, Erinys, so I could not help but wander close in curiosity."

"An eiclia?" Erinys repeated, tilting her head in confusion. But then her eyes lit up. "Oh, an eiclia does suit Lady Alicia! What a shame we can't find one to show her."

"That's why I used it as the title for her song. And speaking of songs, that duo one is almost done." He grinned at me, and I muffled a laugh in reply. For some reason, it didn't feel nearly as embarrassing. We'd see if that continued after I heard it. "I'll let you know when, so we can set up a private performance."

"That sounds like fun," I laughed, delighted by the thought. Chulainn, meanwhile, scowled faintly at the reminder. I wondered how the other song request, about Shannan, was coming along. "Speaking of fun, though, I would've thought you'd be with Deirdre and Azelle, since I passed along Kurth's notes." They were extensive, including his own personal research, what he'd kept of my mother's, and his notes on the 'Blessing' and 'Seal' spell. When I glanced through it myself, I'd noticed he didn't put Cigyun's name to them, probably to try and protect her. If Grannvale found out she made spells, as Saint Heim once did, they'd hunt her down and even if he wanted to see her again, he'd never put her in danger for it.

"We were about to, and then Lex found out," Lewyn complained, sighing dramatically. Erinys looked a little confused; did he not discuss magic back in Silesse? "He ordered us to go on walks and relax while he went and gathered snacks for us. Because once we start reading, we're probably not leaving the room for a while."

"Please keep an eye on Deirdre. I'd rather not camp in the room, but I will if her health takes a turn."

"We'd welcome your insights!"

"You won't welcome my nagging, or my lectures." I smiled serenely. "I also have the benefit of 'healer's orders' to get you to stop."

"Er... we'll be careful." He smiled innocently, and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "I swear on all my songs!" I glanced at Erinys, and she looked exasperated. "I swear on the winds?" That got Erinys to nod, so I accepted it. "Right, perfect! Erinys, let me help you with Euryale."

With that oh-so-subtle subject change, Lewyn left with a laughing Erinys. After exchanging an amused look, Chulainn handed me back my book and we headed back inside to my room to continue our 'day of relaxing'. However, when we made it there, I saw I had a visitor. Though Quan was staring contemplatively out of a nearby window, his attention immediately snapped to me when he heard us approach.

"I don't suppose you were waiting to involve me in a prank?" I asked softly, despite knowing the answer. Quan would not have looked so somber if it was mischief, nor would he have waited. He would've picked me up, like last time.

"Tempting, but sadly, no," he confirmed, coming over. I silently invited him inside, but he shook his head. "This should be quick. A thought occurred to me, and while I hope I'm being paranoid..." He trailed off and shook his head. "I'm skipping to the end before even thinking of the beginning. Alicia, you've kept regular contact with Prince Kurth, yes?"

"Yes?" I held up my book for emphasis. "I just received a package, in fact." It had been a bulky one too. Not only had it included this book and the notes, but it had one of Kurth's favorite history books, another he thought I might like about historical poisoning incidents and their cures, and my mother's favorite. He promised to send more next time. "You should know this. Why bring it up?"

"Did he happen to mention anything about his father?"

"It's rare he says anything about King Azmur. Most of our letters focus on the day to day." I cocked my head to the side, confused and suspicious. "Has something happened?"

"I don't know. But Sigurd hasn't received any replies to his reports." That was strange. My understanding was Sigurd sent one once a week and had since negotiations concluded. "I don't know Grannvale's situation, so it's possible he's too busy. But since this latest report mentions Ludolf, I can't help but worry."

"Mmm..." I frowned as I thought. Missing the report itself was... Sigurd wisely chose against sending our evidence with the report. He, in fact, requested a personal messenger to ensure its safety. So, if the report was lost, it would only delay things, but delaying might be detrimental. I doubted those outside of Anphony looked kindly on a Grannvale lord exploiting their countrymen. "Why do you bring this up to me?" I met his eyes calmly. "Does it have something to do with my letters to Kurth?"

"King Azmur might not notice a lack of reports from Sigurd, but he would notice if his son suddenly stopped writing."

"You worry his reports are being intercepted and wish to go around." And the best way to do that was to use me as a cover. No one would think anything strange of me writing Kurth, especially at this point. I would send a letter a week, and sometimes even two if something particularly interesting happened. "After all, Sigurd and I use different messengers, since mine must travel all the way to the other side of the continent."

"If you're going that route, you may want to muddle things further by utilizing Erinys," Chulainn quietly suggested, resting a hand on my shoulder. I was already thinking of what, and how, to write this. It needed to be coded, but I should hide the code somehow. Should I utilize the 'folded writing' like the mysterious 'M' did? "She can cut through the mountains, though I'm not sure what you'll do from there. I don't think she should head all the way to the Isaachian Front. While we're not hiding, there's no reason to make it obvious there's a pegasus knight here."

"Once dropped off, the messenger can hire a horse, which might help hide our intentions," Quan murmured, crossing his arms and tapping his fingers against his elbow. After a moment, he nodded. "Well, first, we should see if she's willing. She and I usually talk about the differences between pegasi and horses, and how to care for them, so it'll be easy to slip into a conversation." He smiled slightly, gratitude palpable. "Thanks. I know this seems paranoid."

"Better to be a fool for being paranoid than a fool for being complacent."

"Besides, if things are delayed, then our situation in Agustria will only worsen," I murmured, remembering the rumors Beowolf had relayed. We had to keep the peace. "Let me know when everything is ready, and I'll write the letter then."

There went my lightened mood. Maybe I should ask Erinys if she'd be willing to take me flying again, another day.

---

Staying with everyone as I was, I had grown used to odd occurrences. After all, we were more than a little strange, and sometimes, that strangeness combined into truly ridiculous events. So, while I wouldn't say my current situation was the weirdest I'd seen, I could admit it was close.

"Come on, Oifey! You've got to move your hips more!"

"I don't see why you're teaching me this anyway, Silvia!"

"Because I thought it would be funny, obviously. Besides, we can't have two people fussing over Deirdre and Alicia gets priority."

"If you want amusement, teach Chulainn! He's just standing by the door!"

"I can't manhandle Chulainn into compliance. Not without Alicia's permission, at least."

"Do you know why Silvia suddenly insisted on teaching Oifey to dance?" Deirdre asked me, drawing my attention from the 'lesson'. I think it would be more accurate to say Silvia was poking fun at Oifey, truthfully. "I fear I didn't catch it."

"Her official excuse is that she wants to practice some 'partner' dances, and needs someone very skilled to help her," I explained, brushing Deirdre's hair. We'd finished her usual daily examination and, as always, Deirdre wanted me to stay a little longer, so now, Chulainn and I lingered in her solar while she lounged in a chair. Oifey had been coming by to check when Silvia ambushed him. "Baldr's blood does give a minor boost to skill."

"Wouldn't Shannan work better, though?"

"Shannan is too little."

"Ah, that's a fair point." She giggled as Silvia made Oifey practice some move. "Still, I don't think Oifey was planning for this today."

"Oifey has had his nose in a book too many times lately, and if I'm the one saying that, you know it's bad." The only time he wasn't studying was during the morning lessons. He even studied extra during my lessons. "What has him so focused?"

"I don't know; he won't tell even Sigurd. Though..." Deirdre tapped her cheek and leaned back in her chair to look at me. "He's been staring at the mountains a lot."

"Oh?" Why would the mountains hold his attention? "Perhaps I ought to intervene soon. His health is going to take a turn otherwise."

"And I'll see if Sigurd or I can pry it out of him in the meantime. Can I use you as emotional blackmail?"

"Please exhaust other options first?"

"Of course." She smiled reassuringly, and I smiled back. "Still, we should probably try to save Oifey. How to...?" At that moment, Chulainn caught her eye from across the room and gestured to the door. "Oh, do we have a guest? Go ahead and let them in." Chulainn nodded and opened it right as Sir Midir was about to knock.

"Ah, so I was right and you and Lady Alicia are still here," Sir Midir said dryly, a raised brow being the only indication of his exasperation with Chulainn's trick. Chulainn only smiled faintly in response. "Regardless, I beg your pardon, my ladies..." He turned his attention to Deirdre and me, sparing a brief bit of confusion for Silvia and Oifey's antics. "But Lord Sigurd wishes to see you, Lady Alicia."

"Is that so?" I asked, a little surprised. We'd already had our morning meeting. Did something happen? "Then I'd best..." Oh, but Deirdre was already looking anxious. She did her best to mask it, but it was plain to see for any who knew her.

"We'll make sure Lady Deirdre doesn't strain herself," Oifey informed me solemnly, even bowing. I frowned because he was never this formal with me. "I know I am not as good at fussing, but I think I can manage." Ah, he was setting up for the joke, then. "Anything is better than a dancing lesson anyway."

"Hey, you should feel honored about getting a lesson from me," Silvia huffed, pouting like she was offended. Her eyes danced too much with hidden laughter, however, so she quickly turned her attention to me. "But yes, we'll take over, Alicia." She skipped over and crouched a little, resting her hands on her knees to peer at Deirdre's swollen abdomen. "Not much longer, right? A month?" Technically, it was a month and a half, but given the baby's size, we might induce birth in a month for Deirdre's safety. We'd see how the next few weeks went. "Hey, I heard somewhere that it does the baby good to look at pretty things."

"It's a good thing I'm with everyone then," Deirdre teased, smiling brightly. It mostly hid her lingering unease. "There are pretty things, and people, everywhere."

"I know, right? But how about a show, since Oifey refuses to play anymore? That's pretty, yeah?"

"Oh, I will take any excuse to watch your dance, Silvia."

"Well, I am the best at it~" Though she puffed out her chest in pride, her smile was sweet and soft. "A pretty dance for the pretty babe. I'm sure he'll be healthy and happy, Deirdre."

I caught the first bit of Silvia's impromptu show as I gathered my things and left with Chulainn and Sir Midir. It was as beautiful as ever, and I was saddened I wouldn't be able to see it fully. But Sigurd sent for me, so I assumed something had happened. When did something not happen around us?

"Have you been well, Sir Midir?" I asked as we strode down the hall. Deirdre's solar wasn't far from Sigurd's office. In truth, Sir Midir didn't need to escort us at all, but we were glad for the company. "It feels like it's been a few days since I've seen you." It was more than 'felt'. Beowolf had complained the other day about not having his usual drinking partner around.

"I've been out searching for information on Lady Brigid," Sir Midir sighed. That alone told me how poorly the search has gone. "As one can expect, information is slim. I've had more luck learning about the pirates who make their home in the seas surrounding Bragi Tower."

"Are pirates a usual problem in these parts?"

"To the point it's an open secret army officials take bribes to look the other way when pirates raid the coasts." I wondered how they justified it, given Agustria's obsession with honor and chivalry. "I doubt most would be willing to speak with us, but I did hear the Orgahil Pirates might be cooperative. They're pirates who protect ships from other pirates, and do not participate in coastal raids."

"Yet they are still considered pirates?"

"They raid the ships that don't hire their protection, of course." Ah, well, that was one way to emphasize your business. "The old captain passed away recently, but he was succeeded by his daughter who has since proven she's just as honorable, if not more, than her father. My lady is thinking about trying to seek an audience."

"I'm sure there are some who will want to sail. You could use that as a justification."

"I'll pass the message along. I doubt we'll do anything before the baby is born anyway." We came upon Sigurd's office, the door firmly shut, and Sir Midir bowed. "With that, I beg your leave, Lady Alicia, Chulainn. Arden asked if I could help him find a white bird acting strangely."

"A bird is acting strange?" I muffled a laugh. "Perhaps you should get Ayra or Shannan to help you. They have Od blood, after all."

"I was thinking Chulainn, since I don't think there's an animal that hates him." Sir Midir chuckled like it was a joke, and I laughed again because Chulainn had Od blood too. I was just the only one who knew. "Until later, Lady Alicia, Chulainn." I waved Sir Midir goodbye as he left, and opened the door after a cursory knock.

Inside, Sigurd, Quan, and Eldigan were chatting about people they knew in the Academy at Belhalla, but they turned to greet us with a smile as we walked in. "Ah, Alicia, Chulainn, you're earlier than expected," Sigurd commented, half-standing to wave me over. Chulainn, as usual, remained by the door, careful to shut it behind us. "Aren't you usually still in the middle of Deirdre's daily check-up?"

"Sigurd, you know I linger to spend time with Deirdre," I chided, shaking my head. In truth, my late morning and early afternoon were usually taken up by Deirdre. "It is a shame I can no longer watch Silvia attempt to teach Oifey to dance, though."

"Oh, she was? Damn. Well, maybe she can get him to relax." He sighed heavily. For some reason, Quan looked amused yet exasperated. "Don't suppose he let slip why he's thrown himself into his studies? It's been a couple of years since he last did this."

"This has happened before?"

"After my clandestine meeting with a flood, actually. I had to resort to dragging him outside and locking his books in my room to get him to stop."

"Hmm…" I tapped my cheek, thinking. "It could be a response to a feeling of helplessness, then. Though, I'm not sure what prompted it." I also couldn't figure out how it tied to the mountains. "Ah, we can discuss it more later." Quan was looking more exasperated, while Eldigan was shaking his head. "You sent for me, so is something wrong? Did you need tea for your meeting?"

"Alicia, I don't call you solely for your tea." Sigurd said the words very, very dryly, but he glanced to the side sheepishly. "With that said, I wouldn't exactly mind tea." I laughed and headed over to the tea station to brew some pots. "Yours taste the best. It's almost maddening."

"Grahnye was actually complaining of the same the other day," Eldigan joked, chuckling. I studied what we had in the station, debating what to make. Sigurd and Quan would have their mixes, of course, but what did Eldigan like? He'd told me Agustrians favored 'simple' teas, so I should keep it under five, but that made the choice even more crucial. "Said something about it being easiest with her medicines." I was glad to hear it, since I made her teas specifically for that reason.

"Knowing Alicia, it's a special mix," Quan explained. Eldigan made a curious noise in response. "It's what she does. What people like, what goes well… you can ask her about it later." Yes, I could write down the recipe for him. For now, though, I figured out what to make and I picked up the first pot to fill with water. "For now, we should get into serious… Gaia preserve me, is that bird still flying about? I thought Arden said he'd take care of it."

"Well, it's not actually 'flying'. For some reason, it's politely sitting on the windowsill and tapping the gla… Chulainn?!"

The yelp caught my attention, and I turned to see Chulainn lunging for the window to open it for the falcon with… with pure white feathers. I dropped the pot, water splashing everywhere, and rushed over as Chulainn cracked the window open enough for the bird to slip inside. It immediately hopped onto Chulainn's outstretched arm, and I saw why it didn't didn't stick out its leg as they usually did. This wasn't a piece of paper wrapped around the leg; it was three letters folded as small as possible and tied like a weight with a lightweight rope. No wonder it had acted strangely; the poor thing must have been tired.

"Thank you very much," I whispered to it without thinking, pulling the dagger off my belt to cut the rope. The bird made some strange noise, which I hoped was 'happy', and hopped a little higher on Chulainn's arm, relieved from the burden. While Chulainn fussed over it, I unfolded the letters, seeing Kurth had written small numbers in the corner to helpfully let me know which had priority. So, I opened the one marked '1', and saw it wasn't coded. But the information within was everything. "Quan!" I turned to face the trio and was treated to three dumbfounded looks. "You were right. King Azmur hadn't received a single one of Sigurd's reports. Two of the Weiss Ritter and one of the Roten are on the way to pick up the physical evidence. I have the names, and if they're not here in the next couple of weeks, we're to inform him immediately."

"While I hate being right, I do feel vindicated," Quan replied with a heavy sigh. Eldigan and Sigurd turned to him with a frown. "Aren't you two glad you have a paranoid friend? I was worried Sigurd's reports were getting intercepted, and Alicia kindly agreed to allay my fears by sending a message via Prince Kurth. Alicia, do you happen to know the Roten?"

"I do." According to Kurth, it would be Reynard.

"Perfect, we'll make sure you meet him to verify his identity."

"None of this is explaining the bird," Eldigan pointed out dryly. He stared at where it was preening Chulainn's hair, bewildered. "How did it know to come here? Or how to find Alicia directly?"

"Magic," I answered unhelpfully. But it was the truth. "Ah, but I should apologize for the mess. I can…"

"No, no, we had actually wanted to talk to you about the lack of replies to his reports." Well, this was convenient, then. "Quan, you sneak. You had a plan already in motion while still pretending to be worried?"

Quan laughed and protested, while Sigurd sighed and watched the two squabble. Chulainn let the falcon preen and croon over him before it flew back out the window, as Kurth's falcons always did once they delivered their messages, and I decided to open the second of Kurth's letters. Noticing it was written in the Rose Code, I joined the others at the desk and borrowed a pen to write the translation. When I finished, though, I had to redo it, certain I was wrong. But the translation remained the same, and for the very first time, a letter from Kurth left me cold.

"Alicia?" Sigurd noticed immediately. "Alicia, what's wrong?" he asked, half-standing to peer at me worriedly. "Is it-?"

"Kurth has received permission to use the Book of Naga," I whispered, so softly I worried no one would hear. But the deafening silence which followed proved they had. "King Azmur has also ordered Arvis to take temporary leave of his duties as Captain of the Royal Guard to provide support. All Holy Weapons are to be used to their fullest extent. Ring is the only exception, since it will take too long for them to retrieve Yewfelle." All of it meant one thing, and one thing alone.

"The war with Isaach will be over within the week." No one moved. No one could. It was hard to even breathe, because all of us knew what this meant. All of us knew… "I need to tell Ayra."

"Sigurd, she already knows this is coming," Quan pointed out softly. His expression was impassive, but I saw his fists clench at his side. I wondered if he was remembering what Ayra had told him. "It's probably-"

"Knowing your brother will die on a mythical 'someday', ill-defined and illusive, is completely different than knowing your brother will be dead within a week, Quan," Sigurd pointed out, a touch tartly. Quan winced and Sigurd sighed. "She deserves to hear it sooner rather than later, and to not hear it first from a Neit-cursed messenger who will relay the news cheerfully and proudly."

"I only worry about the potential of information leaks. Nothing more."

"Kurth would know I'd inform Sigurd and Ayra about it," I murmured, folding the paper. I… I didn't want to read the third one, not yet. "He knows me, Quan. I've written to him a lot about Ayra. So, I do not think we need to worry about that. By the time anyone learns..." It would all be over.

Silence. It was a silence no one could think to break. A gentle breeze wafted in through the still open window, but it only added to the dread looming over our hearts.

"...King Jamke is due soon, yes?" Eldgain finally whispered, changing the subject entirely. If you couldn't dispel the gloom, you had to ignore it. "I think I'll stay a little longer and request his permission to station my Cross Knights at Evans. I want to ensure the three Ritter knights make it here safely."

"Indeed, he is," Quan confirmed, fists clenching once more before he forced himself to relax. He glanced at Sigurd and nodded. "Here, I'll arrange a room for you. What excuse are we going to use?"

"Just be honest. I want to talk to King Jamke. No one needs to know why."

Taking that convenient excuse to leave, we all departed. Sigurd, of course, went to find Ayra. Quan and Eldigan quietly chatted as they headed for the guest wings. Meanwhile, Chulainn and I returned to my room, with the letters clutched tightly in my hands. Inside, we tried to do our usual routine. He leaned against the wall, and I headed to the table. But I didn't sit down or fetch a book. Instead, I studied Chulainn, debating whether or not I should ask the question twisting in my heart. I went with 'yes', as I usually did. Hiding wounds rarely led to anything but infection.

So, I set the letters down on the table and asked, "are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked in return, with an expression locked in stoicism. It wasn't even the 'irritated' that was his default. He was being careful to show nothing. "I never expected to see Mariccle again, Alicia."

"That doesn't mean you didn't want to." I spoke softly, and there was the faintest flinch. Yes, he'd wanted to see him again. He may have insisted 'Setanta of Sophara' was dead, may have chosen to never return, may have refused to tell Ayra the truth… but that didn't mean he didn't want to see them again. That didn't mean he hadn't wondered how they were through all these years. It was a conflicting desire, unable to reconcile with his trauma, but it was still a desire. And now, another part of that shattered childhood was going to disappear. "But, if you'd prefer, we can pretend I didn't ask." It was still too much right now, and I could tell by how desperately he tried to hide his thoughts. "Come here." I wrapped my arms around him, and pulled him into what I hoped was a comforting hug.

He immediately clung in response, buried his face in my neck. He said nothing, and I did not break the silence. It was what he needed, to try and piece himself back together. I hoped I helped.

---

Two days later, I decided to read the third letter from Kurth. But even with that resolve, it was difficult to pick up. The first had been vindication, and the second had hurt, so what would the third letter bring? I was scared to learn, but at the same time, I knew I had to. That was why he'd written it, because he'd chosen to not coddle me. The difficult things… he was willing to share them, despite knowing the pain it might bring. I knew this. But that didn't mean I couldn't try to delay a little.

"Our little picnic yesterday was fun, wasn't it?" I commented, laughing. In order to relax after the news, I'd wanted to do something with just the two of us. Ethlyn had suggested a picnic in the fields nearby. "Perhaps we ought to do something like that again?"

"Maybe after the baby is born," Chulainn teased, carefully pouring hot water into mugs. While I was procrastinating on reading the letter, he was making us pleorula tea. "Since you spent half the time fretting over Deirdre." He brought the mugs over to the table where I sat and set them down as he kissed my temple. I looked away guiltily because he was right. "I'm surprised to hear you found it fun. If you weren't fretting over her, you were fretting over me. Is worrying fun for you?"

"I wasn't worrying the entire time." I frowned up at him, to hide my teasing smile. "I also did my best to tease you."

"Yes, you did, menace." He rolled his eyes, and I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed again when he bent down to kiss me. "We're running low on our Isaachian teas, by the way."

"We are?" I sighed, drooping. I knew the day would come eventually, but did it have to be now of all times? "Drat, I'd been doing my best to stretch it out. How much do we have left?"

"The pleorula… we've half a jar left, so that should hold up for a while. But there's only a couple of sachets left of the krinina blossoms."

"I see." Part of me wondered if I should ask Kurth, but I threw the thought away. It would be crass to request it when the war… "We'll need to save it for special occasions, then. I still haven't found a mix which replicates the taste of either."

"I don't know how you have time to experiment on that, while keeping up with every minor injury. And making the mixes for everyone else."

"We also finished our special mix." I smiled and he looked away with a blush. I was still tickled at how he'd wanted to make one for me. "Besides, tea mixes aren't difficult. It's fun for me, like a puzzle."

"Shouldn't you at least write them down so your students can make their own?"

"Why would they have to? I'll always make it for them."

"For those times when they realized they had less than they thought and can't reach you?"

"Ah, I suppose that's fair." I tapped my cheek, thinking. "I'll do that when I've made one for Silvia and Shannan." I wouldn't want them to feel left out. I should make one for Lewyn too. Should I make one for Erinys? Oh, and I hadn't made one yet for Beowolf. Did I have mixes for Sir Arden, Sir Alec, Sir Naoise, and Sir Midir?

"And I've lost you for teas."

"They're just mental notes for now." And while I was tempted to make physical notes, I knew it was only delaying the inevitable. I couldn't do that forever. If Kurth had sent it, then it had to be important.

I opened the letter as I took a sip of the pleorula and, to my surprise, it wasn't written in code. In fact, it was… it was one of his usual letters. He wrote of the army, how things were, the merchants still lingering near, updates on Arvis's investigation into Ethnia's attacker… all of it was 'normal'. I almost felt let down, given how much I'd dreaded, but it also felt strange. Why would he send this with the rest? Most would think he was being efficient, but I knew better. Kurth never used the bird for 'simple letters'. So, why? What was I missing?

"Is something wrong?" Chulainn asked, resting a hand on my shoulder. I leaned over to rest my head against his arm, still reading over the letter. "I'd ask if it's troubling news, but…"

"I can't help but think it's strange he sent an ordinary letter," I murmured, flipping the paper over. I didn't see any convenient ink blotches or folds. The only thing strange was how there was more space between the lines than usual. "He also never sprays perfume on the letters."

"Perfume?"

"Yes, there's a faint trace of citrus." I paused, sighing. "Actually, he doesn't wear anything like that, so I definitely do not…" Chulainn plucked the paper from my hands and brought it up to sniff. As soon as he confirmed the scent, he held the letter over my candle. "Chulainn, what in Jugdral are you doing?" There was the smell of something burning, but the letter itself was fine. "What is…?"

"Lemon juice makes an 'ink' that is invisible until exposed to heat." He carefully moved the paper so the candle's flame reached each part, front and back, and only when the burning smell cleared did he hand it back to me. "Not sure why he did so, since you don't have any training in this sort of thing."

"He probably assumed I'd do what I did, which is tell someone I trust that there was something strange to it." Of course, that didn't sit right, so I read the original message to the end and laughed softly. "Oh."

"Hmm?"

"He gave his hint at the end, complaining of how they had to change their invisible inks because Isaach is too aware of the 'lemon juice' trick." Only I would know how strange the statement was, because he'd never mentioned such a thing before. "Is it well known?"

"I can't say that. But, it was a game for me and my siblings." He hesitated before adding. "I taught Ayra and Mariccle it too."

"I see." Then perhaps they did have information compromised in the past, so few would think anything of the statement. "Ah, he coded it as well?" I found paper and pen, and set about decoding the hidden message. Once again, I had to check my translation to ensure I did it correctly. Once again, I realized I had not made a mistake. But these words… this message… it was… it implied…! "Where is Ayra?"

"Ayra?" He blinked a few times at me. "Mariccle can't be dead already."

"No, this came with the rest, remember?" I stood abruptly, quickly flipping over my translation. I'd have to burn it later. "But where is she?"

"Last I heard, her room." He gripped my shoulders, keeping me from running. "Why do you need-?"

"I need to talk to her, and then King Jamke and Sigurd. King Jamke is still here, right?"

"Yes, he is? He arrived yesterday." He frowned, clearly wondering what was going on, and I hesitated. What could I tell? This was... "I'm walking you to Ayra's room. People will think it strange if I didn't. If she's there, then I'll relay the message to Jamke and Sigurd." Thankfully, I didn't need to explain further. He knew I held secrets, secrets that were not mine to share. "Will that work?"

"Yes." Without thinking, I kissed him in gratitude. "Thank you."

We didn't leave immediately, of course. That would look too suspicious. He took the time to clean up, and I spent it burning the letter until there was only a small corner left. I nearly burned my fingers, but it was fine. It was just some redness, easily tended to with some cool water. I hid it by washing my hands, though I was certain Chulainn still knew. After all, he made a point to kiss my hand before we headed to Ayra's room.

"Ayra?" When we arrived, I didn't hesitate to knock. "It's Alicia," I called, knocking a second time. Chulainn lingered back, glancing down the hall to see if anyone was near. "May I come in?" There was a long second of silence before the answer came via the door opening. "Thank you." I stepped inside and glanced back as I closed the door behind me. Chulainn was already moving down the hall, to deliver my request to Sigurd and King Jamke.

Inside, Ayra had moved to a nearby table, studying me curiously. "What's happened?" she asked. "I know I decided to be a recluse today, but I didn't think it was worth fretting over."

"Oh, you know me. I'm always fussing." I made an effort to joke, and she made an effort to smile. "Are you so certain something happened?"

"Alicia, you rarely seek out even Deirdre unless there's something going on." I clearly needed to be more social if I was going to be stuck in these situations. I had a feeling wishing I didn't get into them was going to be a lost cause. "Am I wrong?"

"Alas, you are correct. After all, how you endure is your business. It only becomes mine when your health is threatened."

"And turning hermit for a day won't do that. Still, it's a good excuse for anyone who may be spying. Let's not pretend there aren't any." No, we couldn't. "So, what is it?"

"It's..." I clasped my hands in front of me, to keep from fidgeting. My fingers still stung. "It's something that I want to ask, but if you'd rather not answer, I completely understand. If you'd rather I leave now, I-"

"Would leave without hesitation. Because that's how you are. You wait patiently until people are ready and listen without fail. It's a reason why you have such a good bedside manner." Her forced smile became a little wryer. "But it's also why I know you would not have come here unless you thought it important. Otherwise, you would've waited." She leaned her hip against the table and crossed her arms. "So, what is it?"

"As you know, Kurth sent me a letter."

"Yes, that's why Sigurd warned me about..." She flinched at the memory and shook her head. "Was there more?"

"Yes, there was something he wished you could confirm." I took a breath to steady my nerves and give her time to brace herself. "What do you know about the rumor that a Dahna noble killed your sister?"

"My...!" You'd think I'd stabbed her through the heart with how pale she turned, her breath leaving in a gasp. She teetered from the shock, and braced both hands against the table, turning away from me, to keep from falling. I took a step towards her, to help her, but she waved me away. Right now, she needed her space. "...I told you..."

"You told me she was poisoned."

"Yes. Good, I remembered correctly. I thought I had, but..." She shook her head abruptly, scattering her rambling thoughts. "We never found out who... we found the assassin, of course. But we never found their employer."

"They were too hidden?"

"That and..." She laughed, if one could call a sound so hollow and bitter a 'laugh'. "I think I mentioned this to you too, but House Sophara used to handle things like investigating corrupt nobles." Yes, and I knew from Chulainn it went much further than that. "That was... that was their role. So, the royal family... we never had much of a spy network or investigation force. For over a hundred years, that duty fell on Sophara."

"And thus, when they fell, your ability to investigate more shadowy things, such as poisonings, was crippled." I thought it was short-sighted, but hindsight was always perfect. Given how most countries treated those with Holy Blood, they probably never expected a coup.

"Precisely. So, we hit a dead end and never…" She dug her fingers into the table, curling her hands into fists. "We still tried, though. We never gave up. Every whisper, every potential lead… yes, they all led to nowhere, but we still tried. So, I… I know if I had heard that rumor, I would've leapt to investigate. If Mariccle had heard, he would've told me. If Father had heard, then he would've told Mariccle. But I never…"

"It's difficult to say, given the amount of time that passed, but Kurth's spies acquired several independent testimonies that those rumors were circulating in Ribault prior to Dahna's massacre." I didn't know if he'd discovered Isaach's army had fallen on Ribault in retaliation. I'd think so, but he hadn't mentioned it. Perhaps he'd wanted to confront Mariccle about it first, in a last-ditch effort to try and end this war without more death. "How far away is Isaach castle from Ribault?"

"It's not far. I'd say it's about the same as between here and Mackily." That would mean it was only a few days' ride. Given how quickly gossip usually spread, it was strange they did not hear it. "And... And it's possible it just didn't reach us. None of us had a habit of sneaking out. But it still..." She fell silent, trying to calm the whirlwind in her head. "Why didn't he...?"

"King Azmur's mail was intercepted. It's possible the same happened to you." I hesitated before continuing. "Ayra, I'm going to ask what is possibly a cruel question, but I feel I must." I waited for her to nod. "How would the lord of Ribaut have reacted to this rumor?"

"I…" For a split second, Ayra looked like I'd hit her with a landslide. The next split, she looked like a lost child. But it all went away in a blink, and she bowed her head. "I… I would hope he would've investigated."

"And if, say, he found evidence, forged or otherwise?" After all, Clement's 'evidence of conspiracy' had been forged letters. If this was tied together like I feared, then…

"...He…" Her voice cracked, and she coughed to clear it. I saw no tears, but she looked a little more lost. "He loved her, you know. He loved her dearly. When she died, he… he couldn't bear to leave Ribault, because it meant being away from her. He only left once, for Clionadh's funeral." Clionadh… that was Mariccle's wife. Yes, it made sense he forced himself to leave, in that case. "So, if he'd heard… if he'd found some form of evidence… then he might…" She couldn't say the full words and all at once, pushed herself off the table. "I… sorry, Alicia, but I need… I think I need to be alone right now."

"Of course." I thought about trying to pat her shoulder, or even an awkward hug, but the tense way she held herself hinted she wouldn't take kindly to it. She'd endure it for my intentions, but it wasn't what she needed. "Please remember to eat. If I've heard you haven't eaten by tomorrow, then I will come back to fuss." So, I headed for the door, and smiled at her, even though she wasn't looking at me. "There's two sachets left of the krinina blossom tea. Let me know when you want them, all right?"

"I will." She wouldn't look at me as I cracked open the door. "Alicia?"

"Yes?"

"Please tell Prince Kurth thank you." She lifted her head a little, enough for me to see the tears she struggled to hold back. "It doesn't change what happened. Not before, and not after. But even a whisper of an explanation…" Sometimes, all you wanted was an answer.

"I'd be happy to pass along the message." With that, I left, leaning against the wall as the door swung shut. Chulainn… he wasn't back yet, so I struggled to think of what to do. How would I best mask where I needed to go? That was difficult to answer when I wasn't certain where we'd meet.

After a moment of debate, I decided to head towards Sigurd's office. It felt like a reasonable enough guess and, indeed, Chulainn met me on the way to confirm that's where we were meeting. Inside, Sigurd and King Jamke were waiting, and they both turned to me as Chulainn shut the door behind me. He would remain outside, to keep away any potential eavesdroppers.

"Let's go ahead and skip the pleasantries," King Jamke suggested, his expression grim and his tone even grimmer. "There's only one reason I can think of for why you'd ask for both of us, but I'm hoping to be proven wrong."

"Unfortunately, it's exactly as you fear," I replied, grateful for the bluntness. Both Sigurd and King Jamke winced. "I received information from Kurth and confirmed it with Ayra." I hesitated before continuing. "You'll have to forgive the vagueness, since it touches on something personal, but it involved a localized rumor sparking a major conflict." I paused, letting the implication hit them. "The rumor did not reach Isaach, despite their close proximity."

"In other words, it's exactly what happened in Verdane." I didn't think King Jamke's expression could become grimmer, but it did. "But that's the other side of the continent. Is their reach that great?"

"The Empire once spanned the continent."

"Yes, but can you imagine the pain of coordinating?" He sighed heavily. I refused to admit he had a point, solely because I didn't want to think of the implications. "Ignoring that part for now. Based on timing, I suppose they could've met at a central point and spread out. But how would they have gotten someone to act on it?"

"That is more difficult to answer, but..." I glanced at Sigurd, uncertain what all King Jamke knew.

Sigurd nodded and took over. "Jamke, Lykos found forged letters in Clement's office," he explained. King Jamke swore under his breath. "If this is all connected as we fear, then there's a possibility it happened in Isaach."

"There's a possibility it happened in Verdane too, which is why you brought it up," King Jamke murmured, crossing his arms as he thought. After a moment, he shook his head. "While I've gathered all of my father's things, I haven't gone through everything yet. Verdane was too damaged for me to sift through a dead man's belongings." He also had to mourn. "I'll make it a priority when I return."

"Would you like me to hand you one of the copies to look over? They're stored in my room for safety reasons."

"That would be nice, actually. It'll give me an idea of what to keep an eye out for."

"Then I'll be right back."

Sigurd left, and I thought of doing the same. After all, my part in this was done. However, King Jamke continued to frown, scowling at a spot on the floor, and I had a feeling I knew why. The revelation that Isaach might have been similarly tricked... it only brought to mind his previous worry. Was this all coincidence or was someone masterfully manipulating an entire continent? I didn't know which answer was worse.

I also… I also didn't want him to think about it. He had enough to worry about. So, I wanted to direct his thoughts elsewhere and perhaps try to lighten his mood. Yet how? All I could think of was a lingering, inane question. Would that be enough? I felt like I needed to say something else. But what? After a long bit of thought, I found an answer.

"...Jamke?" I whispered. It was the first time I'd dropped the title with him, and he blinked a few times in surprise. It was rude to do so without asking, but I... I still wasn't certain I liked him. I certainly held a grudge about the fire in Marpha. But I'd known him too long, and we'd shared too much, for me to keep using the title. If he wanted to draw that boundary, he could tell me. Then it became his problem, not mine. "May I ask a question?"

"You may, Alicia," he replied, turning to face me. It was the first time he didn't use a title for me, and that was... okay. It didn't feel strange. It felt like something was finally thawing. "Though, forgive me for hoping it's a lighter subject."

"It is." I gave him my best droll look. "Why did you cooperate with Sigurd's gift?"

"With Sigurd's... oh, the dress?" He coughed awkwardly, looking away. "Well, I'll answer if you promise to not be mad."

"That will depend on the answer, but so long as it doesn't involve hurting people..."

"Fair." He still wouldn't look at me. "The answer is simple. You have a tendency to ramble whenever anyone asks you a question." I did? …Maybe I did. He was the third person to bring it up. "So, I knew that if someone were to ask you about the dress, and they would because you draw attention, you'd tell them it was cashmere, and that it was from Verdane." I could only stare, not sure I was hearing him correctly. "Which is precisely what happened. I've been inundated with trade requests ever since that wedding you attended."

"So..." I couldn't believe this. "You cooperated to advertise?"

"More or less."

"I can't believe that worked." I sighed heavily and he smiled secretively. "Well, I'm pleased to be of assistance? I'm certain the money will go into repairing Verdane."

"For now, it'll go right back to Grannvale for our reparations. Verdane still has to pay, though in light of our efforts here, they've been reduced. With the reparations Agustria must give us, I think we could pay them in ten years." How much did Grannvale demand to start with? "But I'd like it if we could pay it sooner, hence my minor conspiracy." His smile became a mischievous grin, and I shook my head in exasperation. "Is this a bad time to ask for tea, by the way?"

"I should dump all the salt into your pot." I sighed, but headed over to the station. "Let's see what's here." Did I keep salt in the tea making station? I used to, but maybe I took it out when Jamke returned home.

The answer was 'yes, there still is salt', so I must have considered it but chose against it. Satisfied with the amount, I made him some tea, barely resisting the urge to pour the salt in like I threatened, and I made up a pot of Sigurd's mix as well. Sigurd hadn't returned by the time I finished, but that was fine. Jamke would let him know, and I could leave with Chulainn to try and go about our day like nothing at all had happened.

At least, that was the plan. Sadly, Chulainn and I barely made it down the hall before the exhaustion began weighing in on me, and I had to lean against Chulainn to keep upright. Too many thoughts were swirling in my head, all focused on our mysterious and shadowy enemy. What was their goal? Was it truly revenge? We had all this information, yet we still knew next to nothing. That was even assuming we were interpreting the information correctly and weren't jumping at shadows.

I supposed it didn't matter. We had to keep going forward. The past could never be changed, and we had made the best decisions we could. So, we'd keep walking and bear the consequences.

---

I did not like crowds. I did not think I would ever like crowds. So, the day after confirming the rumor with Ayra, I had not planned on going out into the market. In fact, I never planned on going to the market. Agusti was Agustria's most populous city, and the streets were packed even at midnight. Their market during the day was a tumor of people, pulsing and writhing as they went about their day. I did not want to be out here, so why was I? The answer was terribly, terribly simple.

"Alicia, Alicia!" Shannan's voice rose above the crowd, and in a blink, he and Lex were at the hiding spot Chulainn and I had found. "I knew the florist was near!" he laughed, happily handing me a cluster of blue hydrangeas. I smiled and tucked it behind my ear. "Chulainn, I got some for you too!" He handed Chulainn a cluster of red ones, and Chulainn stared at it for a moment before sighing and placing it behind his own ear. After all, he could no more refuse Shannan than I could; that's why we were out here. Shannan had wanted to go to the market with us and Lex.

"Thank you very much, Shannan," Chulainn replied, ruffling his hair. Shannan beamed up at him and took Lex's hand as he looked around curiously. "How did you escape the flowers, Lex?"

"You think flowers suit someone like me?" Lex joked, tugging Shannan closer to him as someone skirted close to dodge around the crowd. We were hiding under an awning with few people, since I'd desperately needed to get away from the crowd. "I'm just the battering ram for this adventure."

"You say this as if you weren't the one who was coming out to start with. Shannan begged to come along."

"He needs to move." None of us would say why. We didn't know if Ayra had warned Shannan or not, but if she hadn't, he at least knew something was wrong. "And he wanted to find something to make Ayra smile, since she's been holed up in her room."

"She ate yesterday, yes?"

"She did. It wasn't much, but she said she lost track of time and would make more of an effort today, so she didn't worry Alicia." Lex looked exasperated. "Never mind the rest of us who were already worried."

"She doesn't want to endure my fussing," I corrected, debating on whether I should be amused or exasperated. I decided 'amusement' suited. "She already had to suffer through it when we met, remember?" Noticing Shannan's eyes lit up, I nodded to him. "I think he's found the next destination."

Indeed, he had. Said destination was a store filled with accessories, and Shannan looked at each one eagerly despite the crowd. Chulainn accompanied him, while Lex and I hid in the corner. Why were there so many people? I'd swear there were as many inside as there were outside!

"Must be a good quality place if there's this many people looking about," Lex observed blithely. I only sighed and hid a little more behind him. This corner was probably the only place with space. "Chulainn should pick up Shannan to not lose him."

"Chulainn has a hand on him," I pointed out, nodding to where we could see them. It helped Shannan kept close too, skillfully dodging anyone who might accidentally knock him away. "I'm guessing they're looking for a hair accessory for Ayra."

"Probably. She loves her braids, though she only lets Shannan try." That would be because of what it meant in Isaach. I thought about telling him, but decided against it. Somehow, I felt like Shannan and Ayra should be the ones. "Neither here nor there. Hey, did you ever pick a name for a girl? For the baby, I mean."

"That's a random question."

"Best way to keep a conversation from dying. So?"

"Julia." I'd picked it in desperation, but Deirdre had been thrilled all the same. "I still can't believe they made me pick. I hope they don't blame me when the child doesn't like it."

"I doubt they will." Lex glanced out the window, his attention drawn to something. "Hey, so..."

"Hmm?"

"Since we happen to be near the smithy, we should take a look."

"Oh, is the reason why you were heading out because you wanted to check on a commission?" I meant the question lightly, but Lex made a face. "What? Were they unable to fulfill the request?"

"Where did that come from?"

"You spoke of it in Mackily?"

"Right, right, Azelle can pull that trick too. Remember minute details even when a mess of things happened afterwards." He grumbled a little more under his breath, and I tilted my head curiously. Was he trying to pretend he hadn't commissioned a gift for Ayra? Why? "Just... play along, will you?"

"Very well." I was at a loss as to what to say and found a distraction quickly. "He's taller."

"Huh?"

"Shannan. He's taller." I could see Chulainn and him making their way towards us, with Shannan clutching a bag tightly. Both were smiling, Chulainn's faint and Shannan's bright. "He's not much taller than others his age, of course. But he's grown."

"That's what little boys usually do?"

"Most little boys weren't on bedrest for months." So, how could I not be happy to see him growing? "Soon, he'll be too big for you to carry."

"Meh, that'll be a while. I'm tall and strong." That was true. Lex would probably still be able to carry him when he was an adult. "Hey, I see purchases."

"Yes, Chulainn helped me find something for Aunt Ayra!" Shannan gushed, rushing over. He pulled a small box from his bag and opened it to reveal a beautiful blue and gold comb marked with a lotus blossom. "See?"

"Wow, that will look pretty in her hair," Lex agreed, ruffling Shannan's hair. I glanced at Chulainn with a raised brow, and he shrugged. I wondered if it was something Ayra had liked when they were younger. "Ah, but I see something else in the bag."

"We also got something for Deirdre." Deirdre was going to break the windows with her happy squeal. "And Alicia!" I knew my expression blanked as Shannan pulled out a box to hand to me. Chulainn, the cad, chuckled. "For you!"

"It seems I'm being spoiled today," I murmured, opening the box. Inside was a necklace and earring set, pale blue flowers paired with white. "How pretty..." But it seemed like in his enthusiasm, Shannan forgot my ears weren't pierced. "Why get this for me?"

"Because?" Shannan replied, grinning. Someone was learning from Deirdre. "Chulainn helped!"

"Of course he did." I shot him a look and he smiled innocently. "If we're done purchasing, we should leave. Lex wants to head to the smithy, and see about picking up a backup ax." The lie was easy, and Lex smiled gratefully. "Here, Shannan, keep this in your bag for now so I don't lose it." Shannan nodded and tucked the box back, carefully arranging things so they'd sit neatly. While he was busy, I leaned into Chulainn and whispered, "you couldn't stop him from getting me earrings?"

"I only helped with the necklace," Chulainn replied softly, shifting so he could talk directly in my ear. I felt heat flush through my face when his lips grazed the tip of it. Were ears usually so sensitive? "He picked the earrings before I could stop him."

"I see," I murmured, glancing back at Shannan. He was smiling so brightly. "I suppose I'll have to get my ears pierced then." After all, I couldn't refuse such a sincere gift. "Please don't tell Arvis."

"Why?"

"I don't want to be drowning in earrings." Chulainn chuckled at that, but I rolled my eyes. "Say, Chulainn, since we're heading to the smithy, do you need a new blade?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, Chulainn?" Shannan suddenly chimed in, tugging at his sleeve. Chulainn had to bite back a sigh, especially when Lex started snickering. I hoped he only overheard the question. "A steel blade is nice, but I bet you're skilled enough to use silver!" Why would you need more skill to use silver? "Come on! Let's get you one!"

"Shannan, there's no need..." Chulainn began, trying to refuse. But one look at Shannan's sparkling eyes crumbled his resolve. "Let's see if they even have some in stock before you get yourself wound up like a kitten."

"I'm not a kitten!"

"You're certainly bristling like one. And you have a stuffed cat, so you match."

"That..." He pouted, and I couldn't keep from laughing. "At least make it something ferocious! I'm not a housecat!"

"Fine, fine, you're some kind of cub. Not sure what. You're as silly as a tiger cub, but your looks favor a panther."

"Wait, tiger cubs are silly?"

"The ones I've seen have all been very silly, and very fluffy."

"Chulainn, don't fill his head with such stories," I chided, shaking my head. Shannan, of course, was enthralled by the thought, so I had to distract him. "Say, Shannan, have you flown with Erinys yet? It's rather fun."

As expected, the mention of flying immediately caught Shannan's attention and he excitedly asked about it, while also talking about how soft and sweet Erinys's pegasus was. Lex rolled his eyes above his head, hinting said pegasus wasn't exactly sweet to anyone else, but he didn't say anything as he led the way to the blacksmith. While those three went to greet the smith, I lingered in the doorway. After all, I couldn't help. What I knew about weapons was limited to their effectiveness in medicine, and I was not inclined to replace the daggers Kurth had bought me. Still, the smithy was blessedly empty of people and it was fun, watching the three of them go around the shop and debate the pros and cons of the weapons they say. Shannan would keep asking questions, trying to help as he held onto Lex's hand.

"My lady?" A gentle voice, however, drew my attention outside, and I saw a young woman wearing a heavy cloak with a hood standing next to me. "For you," she murmured, handing me a flower. Confused, I took it with a polite smile, and the woman dashed away, her steps as silent as Chulainn's.

Only then did I look at the flower, and both confusion and suspicion flooded me. White petals with pink edges, arranged in a starburst pattern… that was characteristic of the ulyiper flower, which was not a common flower in northern Agustria where Agusti was. It grew only in very dense forests, such as the one in Anphony many days away. This was not a flower one would simply pick to hand to a random lady, and despite how pretty it was, few florists kept it in stock because of its relation to a certain poisonous flower.

"Miss?" I called, hoping to catch her before she was out of sight. I was lucky; I could barely see her in the crowd. But when she turned to face me, her hood slipped back enough for me to see her face. And it was a face I recognized, because she was still too pale, like she'd never seen the sun, and her lilac hair still tumbled out of the shadows of the hood. Her eyes, though… unlike before, her bright blue eyes shone clearly not with nervousness or fear, but resolve. "This flower…" She smiled warmly, and in relief. Then she brought her finger up to her mouth in a 'shush' gesture and turned away to disappear into the crowd.

I stared for a long moment, wondering if she might reappear, but when she didn't, I returned my attention to the ulyiper. These were rarely given as presents in Agustria because ulyiper was the traditional antidote to kium flower poison. I knew little of the language of flowers, but I knew that because of that association, ulyipers carried the meaning of 'hidden enemy' and 'be cautious'. Yet she, a borderline stranger, had given it to me, so soon after we met Ludolf. That, and the way she'd mimed for 'quiet' hinted to one thing, and one thing alone: Ludolf had been tricked. He'd been tricked, and the one who wanted me poisoned, this 'hidden enemy' of mine… was her father.

But why would he want to poison me? Kium flower poison did not kill quickly. It was a slow death, characterized by nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, swelling, hypotension, and arrhythmia. That was why it was historically used by wives to kill their husbands; they maintained plausible deniability, assuming anyone investigated the illness. So, why did he pick that poison? Unless I rolled around in an entire field of it and consumed three garden's worth, it would not kill me instantly. Any delay in treatment would be because it was not recognized quickly as a poison, and with our staves, Edain would've realized it immediately. At worst, I'd be incapacitated for a few days.

"Did I anger him so much with my unintentionally rude comment?" I whispered to myself, rolling the ulyiper's stem between my fingers to make it spin. Even as I said the words, though, I didn't think it was correct. "Why is it that every time we answer one question, a dozen more spring up?" Sighing, I shook my head. The question I should be focusing on was what to do with the information. After a moment, I decided to keep quiet for now.

The situation in Agustria was too tenuous for an investigation based solely on a vague description and suspicion, especially when my description would be so minimal. I would simply have to be careful.

"Alicia?" Lex appeared next to me, peering at my face. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, it's nothing," I lied, smiling reassuringly. He frowned, trying to see through my mask, but I already knew he wouldn't. "I was only touched at receiving a flower."

"It's not poisonous, right?"

"Would I be holding it if it was?"

"Maybe to teach Shannan."

"Would I be holding it with my bare hands if it was?"

"Love the qualification there."

"I am so pleased to hear you think I would be so careless."

"Hey, now…" Lex's eyes widened, worry setting in as I pretended to be insulted. But then I smiled and he sighed in relief. "Anyway, Shannan, Alicia has a lesson for you!"

"You are terrible at being subtle."

"I'm better than Agustrians! I think?"

"Perhaps." I thought about teasing him more, but Shannan had bolted over, with Chulainn trailing behind him, a new sword in hand. It seemed they chose one for him after all. "Goodness, I have such an eager student."

"Your lessons are way more fun than the ones I had in Isaach!" Shannan declared, already peering at the flower. "What's this?"

"It's called an ulyiper," I explained, crouching so he could see it a little better. He braced himself on my arm to lean in close. "It's a flower tied deeply to Agustria's history, since it's an antidote to kium blossom poison." I glanced at Chulainn over Shannan's head, catching his eye, and he nodded to show he caught my hint. We'd discuss it more when we were alone. "Do you know about kium blossoms?"

Shannan did not, since our silence on everything to do with Ludolf meant Finn had not shared what tidbits he'd written down. So, we chatted about it as we wandered through the market, with Lex chiming in on other historical mariticides he knew. While in the crowd, though, I found myself looking for the girl. But of course, there was no sign of her. She appeared and disappeared like mist, with only the flower as proof she existed.

I hoped... she'd be alright. It would be nice if I could thank her properly.

---

Usually, Chulainn only did my hair in the early morning, before we headed out for the morning lessons and sparring matches. Sometimes, however, he'd insist on changing it after we'd returned. During those times, I'd find a book to read while he carefully brushed and braided my hair, and we'd enjoy the quiet. Today was one of those days, though the quiet didn't last for long.

"Alicia, you in here~?" Silvia's lilting voice filtered through the door as she opened it to poke her head inside. "Huh? Your hair is different," she observed, blinking a few times. "Which you… uh… are probably well aware of."

"Yes, Chulainn decided the original style didn't suit," I explained, marking my place in my book and closing it. Then I turned as much as I could to face her without disrupting the braids Chulainn was putting along the sides of my head. "So, he insists on changing it."

"So, he wanted to play with your hair and found an excuse. Got it." She giggled and pushed the door open a little more. "May I come in?"

"Yes, you may. Is everything well? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, just a little sore from the lesson." She clasped her hands behind her back shyly. "However, I was wondering if we could do my usual checkup early? Lewyn and I are meeting later to put together a new show, and I'm not sure how long it'll be."

"You're doing a new show?"

"Yep, and he insists on debuting a new song in it: 'The Wolf's Rose'." She said it lightly, and I had to duck my head to hide my smile. Chulainn leaned down slightly to scowl at me. "Oh! Is that the one he wrote about you two? I thought it might be, but wasn't sure since Chulainn is usually called 'Hound'."

"I insisted on the change to make it less obvious," Chulainn grumbled, gathering the ends of both braids to twist into a bun. For all his complaints, though, he'd given his permission. Lewyn had made absolutely certain, refusing to even consider playing it unless we were both comfortable. "I'm assuming he's playing 'The Knight and the Maiden' as well?"

"Yes, and the show will include 'Eiclia' and a few others," Silvia chirped, beaming at the thought. "After all, this show will be for the newborn's celebration." Ah, yes, that was right. In Grannvale, it was tradition to hold a celebration for any newborn with Holy Blood around two weeks after they were born. I couldn't help but worry for how early it would be, since Mistress Yesui said it took babies about two months before developing enough of an immunity to be around many people, but those with Holy Blood were terribly resilient. "Think we're going to plan it completely around Deirdre's favorites."

"I figured, since you're including 'Eiclia'." The second Deirdre learned it was about me was the second she declared it her favorite song ever. Sigurd was just as bad; it had taken him two seconds, with one of those seconds being used to wonder what an 'eiclia' was. I told them 'The Knight and the Maiden' was my favorite in retaliation, just to get them to blush. "But I imagine the main reason it'll take a while is choreography. You two plan the dances intensively." Chulainn secured the bun with a shimmering ribbon and tapped my shoulder. "We're done, Alicia, if you want to get started."

With a smile, I pushed myself up and kissed Chulainn's cheek before turning to Silvia. However, before I could ask her to sit down, a quiet tapping caught our attention, and dread hit me when I saw the source. A falcon with pure white feathers was at my window, and when Chulainn opened it, it flew straight for me to land delicately on the table. This time, there were two letters, one of which had an izelle drawn on it. On a hunch, I opened it first, and closed my eyes when the words confirmed the sinking dread. Chulainn hovered near, worriedly, and I tilted the letter so he could see the words too. The way his expression locked up told me I hadn't misread.

"Forgive me, Silvia, but the examination will have to wait," I whispered, folding the paper once more. Chulainn offered his hand to the bird, and it happily hopped onto his wrist now that its burden had been discharged. "I have to find Ayra."

"Last I saw, she was with Deirdre in the gardens," Silvia answered. Though she looked concerned, she didn't look surprised. I wondered why. "I saw them on my way here."

"I see." Strange, the gardens weren't on the usual path between my room and hers, and I knew she always returned to her room to bathe after the morning lessons. But, then again, she never said she came straight here. "Might you inform the others there will be no afternoon lessons today?"

"Sure, I can do that."

Without another word, she left to bear the message. Chulainn fussed over the falcon a little longer before it flew off. Only then did we head to the gardens, and from there, it didn't take long to find Ayra and Deirdre. I just had to follow the sounds of laughter, and there they were, sitting among the flowers as Deirdre wove some into a crown.

"I can't believe you don't know how to make these," Deirdre teased, finishing the crown. She offered it to Ayra, but Ayra placed it on Deirdre's head instead. "Surely you'd be good at it."

"I never had to learn," Ayra admitted without shame, adjusting the crown. Her smile was soft, and my heart hurt. "Whenever I wanted one, Setanta or Mariccle would make me it for me." She glanced up then, noticing our presence. "Oh, Alicia, Chulainn!" She waved us over with a bright smile, and while Chulainn took the invitation, I didn't. I hung back, clutching the letters hard enough to crumple them. "What is it?" She tilted her head, especially since Chulainn silently took over adjusting the flower crown. "Are you and Chulainn fighting or something?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't put it into words. So, I held up the letters, and Ayra went pale. She knew. She knew what was in these letters. There was only one reason why I would be so silent even when she'd been so friendly. Still, she came over to hear it directly. She had to, even if it took all the courage and resolve in the world. And though I could have just blurted it out, I chose against it. I would wait for her to speak. She had to brace herself, and I had to find my voice.

She stood in front of me for a long, long moment before finally whispering, "is he dead?"

"Yes," I replied, my own voice small. I wished there was a way to blunt the pain, but there wasn't. Mariccle was dead, and there was no way to sweeten the news. "Kurth sent the message after a man named 'Bran' collected the body to be buried."

"Bran is Mariccle's best friend, and the captain of our Royal Guard." She breathed out slowly, her eyes wet with tears she refused to shed. "Who...?"

"It was a group effort, but Kurth landed the final blow with the Book of Naga." I unfolded the letter to read through again. "He holds the honor of being the first person to ever draw blood on Lombard, and he badly injured Reptor and Ring both."

"Of course. He wouldn't go down without a fight." She fell silent. "How… did he tell you how they got around Balmung's ability?"

"Ring utilized Ullr luck and got a hit." Balmung's ability turned its wielder invisible, but that only applied to what was on their person. Anything that left, like a blood droplet, would not receive the same protection. "Reptor used that to track him so he could hit him with a Mjolnir." Then Mariccle had turned around and nearly killed them both. Kurth was the only reason he didn't succeed.

"Ah." Again, she fell silent and she focused on the papers in my hand. "Why are there two pages? Surely it isn't wordy enough for…"

"It's not." I took the paper not marked with an izelle and held it out to her. She stared at it like it was a twitching organ. "This is for you; they're Mariccle's last words."

"What?"

"It took two hits, because he partially dodged the first. So, he asked Mariccle for last words. Since it was a message for you, he relayed it. I haven't read it." That was why Kurth had made sure to mark his letter to me with a drawing. "It's yours alone."

"Oh." She blinked slowly, struggling to wrap her head around it. I couldn't blame her. "Um..."

"Yes?"

"Why did he write? Prince Kurth. Why did he not leave it for the messengers?"

"You deserve to know from someone who will not proclaim it proudly and happily." It was the same reason why Sigurd made sure to warn her.

"Ah." She fell silent again, bowing her head to try and mask her expression. "Who...?"

"Hmm?"

"Who knows?"

"You're the first I told." I'd shown Chulainn, but otherwise, she was the first. "And you dictate who knows now."

"Of course. That's how you..." She sighed heavily, curling into herself. "I... I need to find Shannan. You can tell Sigurd immediately, tell anyone who asks, but wait… wait an hour before letting it spread. That should be enough time for me to..."

"We will wait however long you need."

"I know." Hesitantly, she took the paper and folded it small. "I…"

"It's fine."

"Thank you."

She ran, then. She ran, desperately fighting back tears, to go find Shannan. I did not envy her, and my heart ached for them both. I wished we had been able to find another way, but changing people's paths required cooperation from all parties. If you chose to walk your path alone, all that remained was corpses.

I watched her leave and did not turn back until she was out of sight. "I'm sorry for interrupting your fun, Deirdre," I murmured as I joined her and Chulainn at last.

"Why apologize?" Deirdre asked in return, her smile gentle and sad. "There's never a good time for that sort of conversation, and there's only one topic I can think of that would send her into that state." She used Chulainn as a crutch to stand up, one hand going to support her abdomen. "Oof..." She still swayed when she stood, out of breath. "This baby is heavy."

"I think he'll be an average weight." But I supposed having all your organs squished into your chest cavity was enough to make anything feel 'heavy'. "This is why I keep telling you to rest."

"But the garden is so pretty..." She sighed gustily and then squeaked. Chulainn glanced down the path, a hint someone was approaching. "Aw, you agree, little love?" I couldn't see anyone, but I got on my tiptoes and caught sight of blue hair. "They always start kicking when I leave the flowers."

"So, we'll decorate the nursery with silver and blue flowers."

"Alicia!" She blushed madly, and the blush only darkened when Sigurd came out from around the corner. "Sigurd? What are you doing out here?"

"Looking for my beloved wife, of course," Sigurd answered without missing a beat. Deirdre's blush somehow became redder, and I worried she'd faint. "I see you're with Alicia and Chulainn. Though, Alicia, your hair is different from earlier."

"Is it?" I asked dryly, shifting closer to Deirdre so she could lean on me. She chose to hide her face in my shoulder instead. "I hadn't noticed."

"Right, silly comment." He looked around curiously. "Strange, I thought she had gone out with Ayra."

"She did. But…" I handed him the letter. He stilled at the words within. "Ayra wants us to keep quiet for an hour."

"We'll make it two to be safe." He folded it again and handed it back, a quiet indication to change the subject. "So, what were you teasing Deirdre about?"

"It seems her baby shares her love of flowers, so I suggested silver and blue ones for the nursery."

"What is this joke with you two and those specific flower colors?"

"Why, Sigurd, are you asking for a lady's secrets?"

"Someone's been learning from Ethlyn." He slipped around to wrap a supportive arm around Deirdre's waist. "You know; it's been too long since we've been able to have a simple meal together. How does tea sound?"

"Sigurd, I will happily make you tea without an excuse."

"Who said I was after the 'tea' part? The best part of tea is gossip and stories."

We forced a laugh and headed back inside, with me taking Chulainn's hand to squeeze reassuringly. However, we barely made it two steps out of the gardens when Quan found us. "What happened?" he asked bluntly. Sigurd and I exchanged a look. "Shannan was in the library with Finn and me when Ayra fetched him. She looked ready to cry." Sigurd and I mentally debated before we nodded, coming to silent agreement. "Do you guys know? Figured you had the best chance, but if not I-"

"I received a letter from Kurth," I whispered, keeping my voice soft.

"...Ah." That was all that needed to be said. I didn't even have to show him it. "How long?"

"We're waiting a couple of hours." I made myself smile. "We're about to have tea, though. Would you like to join us?"

Quan nodded, and so we all retreated to Deirdre's solar for tea and snacks. Chulainn refused to participate, standing near the door as per usual despite Sigurd and Quan's valiant efforts to get him to at least join us at the table. They celebrated the small victory of wrangling another promise for a ride, though, and Deirdre laughed at their antics as I made the tea. Noticing Chulainn's terse replies, I distracted them by asking when they planned on introducing the newborn to Altena and Ares. That, of course, captured their attention, and led to many fun stories that lightened our spirits so much we could almost forget why they'd been low in the first place.

We didn't, of course. It was obvious as soon as we left and began spreading the news through the castle. I didn't know how subtle or blunt the others were, but I tried to keep it vague. 'Shannan will not be able to make it', I said to Lachesis and Oifey, when telling them why lessons would be canceled for the day. 'Ayra wants to be alone,' I told Ethlyn when she went looking for Ayra to go shopping. I would tell people things like that, because while Ayra did give her permission, it still felt wrong to share. However, between all of us, it was not long before everyone knew. The reactions were the same, and predictable. 'Are Shannan and Ayra alright?' 'What do they need?' 'How can we help?' After all, they had been with us for two, three years by this point. We were all comrades, friends, and family. It was natural to be worried.

That was why, a few hours later, I went to check on them myself. It wasn't much; I mostly wanted to offer them tea and sleeping medicines. But surprisingly, they weren't in Ayra's room. They weren't even in Shannan's. It wasn't until I went to ask Sigurd and Deirdre if they'd seen them that I found either.

"Oh, Alicia, Chulainn…" Deirdre greeted quietly as she struggled to drape a blanket over Sigurd and Shannan. Chulainn immediately went over to help her. "Thank you. It's hard to move about with this bump." She stepped back to smile at the two sleepers, Shannan curled into Sigurd's chest as Sigurd kept a protective arm around him. "He came in suddenly about an hour ago. Wouldn't tell us why, but he clung to Sigurd, so..." Chulainn adjusted the blanket, and I saw Shannan was clutching the stuffed cat I'd made him. "We indulged him?"

"Of course," I murmured, understanding. I wondered if it was like when we first met, when he'd seek out Sigurd, Ayra, or me whenever he felt unsafe. "I should apologize for disturbing you. I came by because I couldn't find Ayra or Shannan."

"I thought I saw Ayra through the window not long ago. I'm not sure…"

"Shannan's old enough to understand his aunt might need time to mourn alone." But he still needed comfort, so he sought it out from another, giving his aunt a break.

"Children shouldn't think about such things."

"Sadly, trauma has a way of forcing you to grow up quickly." At least he was sleeping soundly. "Which window was it?"

"It was… this one, I believe?" Deirdre walked over to one and I followed her to peer outside too. Ayra… she was still within sight, but she wasn't alone. Lex was with her, and she seemed to be screaming at him. He took it stoically, even when she weakly hit his chest. In fact, he held her as she did. "What are they…?"

"Lex may have offered to let her hit him, since his Nal blood makes him resilient." I watched them for a moment, noticing Ayra was making no move to push him away. If anything, she leaned into him. "Some people scream when in pain. It does not matter if it's physical or emotional."

"And others need to be held, as a reminder they are not alone." Ayra, right now, probably needed both. So, that was what Lex provided. "Perhaps we should let her be until tomorrow."

"Yes, I think so." I watched for a moment before turning to her. "If you see her before me, please relay my offer?"

"Gladly." Deirdre focused on the two sleepers, her smile fond. "They would be adorable while stealing my favorite chair. Can you help me settle into a different one? I think I've given up sleeping in a bed entirely. Sleeping on my side is uncomfortable."

"Of course, I can."

It didn't take long to help Deirdre. Sigurd kept plenty of extra pillows and blankets in their room in case Deirdre needed more to feel comfortable. I even brewed her some tea for her to sip as she curled up with a book to read before Chulainn and I left to return to my room. Once there, though, I studied him. He was silent, as he had been since the letter, and his expression had not so much as twitched.

"Chulainn?" I called softly. He glanced at me, and only tilted his head to the side when I locked the door and sat down on the bed. "Come here." I patted the bed beside me to tell him to sit, and he listened with only the faintest frown on his face. He nearly yelped, though, when I wrapped my arms around him and dragged us both down to the bed. "The door is locked."

"I think I remember seeing you do that, given it was only five seconds ago," he replied dryly, rigid in my arms. His arms remained awkwardly at his side. "Why are you-?"

"So, if you want to cry, go ahead." His expression this entire time, from the second he read the letter to now, had been the carefully blank look of someone hiding everything. "If you don't, then don't. But there's no need to hide around me." He tensed further, but hesitantly brought his hands up and curled his fingers into my back. "I won't tell, and no one will come in. We can take the day."

He didn't answer, but he did relax finally and held me tightly. He didn't cry, but I could feel him shake. So, I held him until we both fell asleep, giving what comfort I could. Mariccle's death… it would be a bleeding wound for a while, but eventually, it would heal. And now that the war was over, we could begin putting the pieces back together, until this too was simply another scar on Jugdral.

Things would be better, in time. That was a truth all healers knew.

---

Author's note: As you can guess by a certain someone not being born yet, there's one more interlude after this.

In game, nothing like this happens with Mackily. Clement attacks you solely because he thinks you're trying to conquer Agustria. Despite what I did, I'd wanted to use that original characterization, and decided it wouldn't be strange for Manfroy to try and secure Deirdre. Thus, the forged letters. (Charisyn, btw, is inspired by a certain bad ending in Olympia Soiree. Kium flowers and their poison/history are inspired by arsenic.)

Similarly, there's nothing in game that suggests the Loptrians are involved with Isaach at all, and there is never an explanation for why Ribault attacked Dahna. In fact, I used to believe they only capitalized on the situation. But given how I characterized the Lord of Ribault, I realized that explanation wouldn't make much sense. So, I tied it in (though Manfroy did not expect the escalation).

Also, Mariccle's death… goes unmentioned. I think that's the case in both the game and the mangas. But I thought it made more sense if it came up, so here.

Erinys's ramble is based off her recruitment talk with Lewyn from the previous chapter (as far as I know, though, her pegasus is not named, so I went with one of Medusa's sisters from Greek mythology). As for the 'steel' vs 'silver'... in FE4, all blades are 'A' rank, but other games have it where 'steel' require less of a weapon rank than silver (want to say 'C' vs 'A'). Thought I'd sneak that in.