John-Henry and Natalie realized that something was really upsetting Lois. But both were promptly dismissed by her and asked to leave. Lois didn't want them to see her crying. She sat alone at her desk and looked on her Ally-material. She should be happy that they won this round but was too worried about Jonathan. She also wondered if she was not a bit too harsh with Jordan, who just followed his father's offer.
Jordan went to his room as ordered and just sat on his bed and start to brood about everything his brother told. He had the terrible feeling that it was more about his brother's problems than just today. He also wondered how he would have reacted if their father took Jon on a trip today while he is alone here, doing chores. Well… he would have used his newfound superspeed to finish them quickly and then leave! But Jon? A cold shiver ran down his back…
Clark, who got already told by Lois that he will sleep on the couch tonight (what never ever happened before in their marriage), was in the perfectly cleaned and tidy barn, seeing what Jonathan did while he was out with Jordan. Clark realized that it was not okay from him to ditch Jonathan. After all, the boy was willing to open to him. Ever since the X-K, Clark wondered if he gets ever back on track with Jonathan. But seeing how hard he worked today, even if he had the chance to leave and… no! No, Jon didn't have a chance to leave! He had no powers, no driver's license and was alone… Alone! Clark had this terrible feeling…
The only one who was not aware of the pain Jonathan feels and who was even responsible for some of it, was Sam, who stood in the Kent's kitchen, filling himself some water into a glass and looked around in the tidy kitchen. It was dinnertime and usually the family would sit now together and celebrate the victory over the merged Ally and Jordan's first successful flight. But once again, Jonathan managed to make everyone upset. Sometimes he wondered what was wrong with the boy. He takes X-K, covers for a dealer, insults his brother, disobeys his parents… ever since they moved to Smallville, something was going on with Jonathan. Sam had this terrible feeling…
Sam put the empty glass into the recently cleaned sink (one more of Jonathan's chores he did today) and went to the closed door to Lois' office to knock…
"Lois…"
"Leave me alone! I have to think!" Lois said from inside.
"Lois, I come in now!" Sam said before he opened the unlocked door and found his daughter crying at her desk. "What happened, Pumpkin?"
"Jonathan has told me that he wants to merge!" Lois said upset. Wondering if this was the reason she was so harsh to Jordan.
"WHAT? After everything what happened?! How dares he?"
"He believes that this is the only way for him to get our attention. And that this is the same reason Lucy has estranged from us!" Lois explained, while the tears flow down her face. "He stays with the Tanners tonight. And tomorrow I go there again and try to talk to him again!"
"His doppelganger is still on this Earth! What if he figures that out?"
"I gave him my ELT!" Lois murmured.
"And what about you?"
"I don't know!" Lois said and shook her head. "I simply don't know! I only know that I lose him! And I think this is all just my fault!"
"Don't blame yourself! Jonathan does not understand how important the other things are! He is just selfish!" Sam said.
"No! No, he has just needs! And we ignored them!" Lois wailed and turned her head away to look out of the window to see the barn, where something terrible happened before Jon left. "I wish I could know what is going on with him! Or what he tells his friend!"
"There is a way!" suddenly Sam had an idea! A terrible and questionable one, but he hoped Lois would calm down. "You said, he has your ELT now?"
"Yes! Why?"
Sam pulled out his own ELT out of his pocket. "There is something I haven't told you about these things… I need a screwdriver…"
In the barn, Clark walked all over to see all chores are done better than expected. Jonathan had always done everything they told him thoroughly and carefully. He could even smell that the plants in Lois' office were watered, which was not even on the list. Clark sat down on the hay where they sat before, he left to look for Jordan and thought about Jonathan's words again. A terrible feeling overcame him again.
And so, Clark reached out his hearing to focus on Jonathan again…
In his room, Jordan had the same terrible feeling and decided, despite his brother's fury when he did that the last time, to listen to him. Only to keep sure that he was okay…
In Lois' office, Sam used a screwdriver to make some adjustments on his ELT. He assured Lois that he never did that before, but he was worried about Jon and his doppelganger was still a threat… Lois first thought was that it was shabby, but her worry for Jonathan was bigger than her guilt… and so they could hear everything, too…
In Metropolis, Jonathan left the guest room and went straight to Timmy's room to knock on the door.
"Timmy, may I come in?"
"Of course! Come in!" Timmy said.
The moment Jonathan opened the door and came into the room he regretted it immediately…
Not only he was greeted by walls that were painted in 'Superman-blue' but also by countless of objects bearing the Superman-symbol, Superman-action-figures that stood in the shelves and his father in person! Well not really in person, but in form of a live-size poster on the wall over Timmy's bed! That was what Jonathan successfully repressed when he came to Timmy: The fact that Timmy Tanner was a huge Superman-superfan!
"Why you are suddenly so pale?" Timmy asked when he came close.
Jonathan wanted to scream and tear off the poster from the wall, to stop his father from looking on him with that fake smile that should show his trustworthiness. He knew it was fake!
"I… ehm… I can't believe you still have this poster?" Jon said, trying his best to not to make a scene.
"Oh… yeah… Well, I don't care about that others call him an alien! He is a hero!"
'If you would know about him what I know, you would ban him from this planet, you dumbhead!' Jon thought and almost blurted it out. But he managed to stay calm. "I need to talk to someone!"
"Sure, take a seat!" Timmy offered and pulled the chair away from his desk to invite Jon to sit on it.
"Ehm… could we talk in the other room?" Jonathan asked embarrassed.
"Why not here?"
Jon's eyes wandered over to the poster of his father again. That smile on his face that was meant to show confidence and trust suddenly felt as if he wanted to humiliate him. Jon turned his head away to see another action-figure of his father standing in the shelve over the desk. His father hated these figures because they were anatomically not like him and had more similarity with Henry Cavill (an actor his father hoped will not be casted as him, too). And this particular figure, had this mean and scolding face and it was standing there as if it wanted to beat him.
"I… I honestly don't like all these eyes looking on me! Timmy, please…"
"Sure!"
Timmy pushed the chair back and followed Jonathan back to the guestroom. There were no pictures on the walls, no Superman-stuff, just an empty room with two teenagers.
In Smallville, everyone could hear that… and Clark could imagine Jonathan didn't want to be in Timmy's room. He saw the poster through the window with his super-vision. And Clark was hurt…
In the Tanner's living-room, Timmy's mother still talked on the phone with her friend, two houses away…
"…he had a bruise on his arm! And he was so scared when his parents approached. Mary, I might exaggerate, but I just have this terrible feeling… No, Timmy is with him!... I know, but… could you talk to him, too? I mean you have a lot of experience with that…"
Upstairs, Jon sat down on the bed again while Timmy took the chair…
"Jon, you know you can tell me everything! You are always there for others! You are always someone can rely on, and you stand up for others. You are the first one someone comes to when he has problems! That's why everyone liked you in school. Some call you a Superboy…" Timmy said, while Jon tried to not to shudder at the last phrase. "But… if you need for once someone to listen to you instead, you know you can do that, too! You don't need to be ashamed in front of me! I have done things; I am not proud on, too. And I should be happy to not to be a pariah. But I know that keeping things for yourself is not healthy… so what happened, Jon?"
Jon took a deep breath and start to let it out… His family listening closely, in their fear he could tell Timmy the secret…
"I told Jordan that I hate him!" Jon confessed.
"What? But you are the Fraternals? You have the closest relationship brothers can have?" Timmy asked. "I am an only child but seeing you and Jordan together let me always wish to have a twin, too!"
"I am not so sure about this anymore! Since our move to Smallville a lot has changed! And there is… this thing going on…"
"That you need to explain!" Timmy said.
"I can't tell you! This is a family thing! This is nothing I can tell anyone!" Jon burst out in tears again.
"Hey… Don't tell me about it if you can't! Just tell me about the rest!"
"This is a long and… complicated story! The short version is that I am Cinderella and that there is no Happy End supposed to happen to me! Because everything I try is destined to fail!" Jon told causing his friend to look at him with big eyes.
"Oh… ehm… Okay! Please tell me the long version! Because this sounds pretty shocking, and I have bad thoughts now!"
Jon signed…
"Well… you know my parents were always busier with their jobs and their other responsibilities and Jordan… And… when my grandmother died… I… I thought I lost the only person who always showed me that I can rely on her. That's when… when I and Jordan figured out that… well… about the thing!"
"Okay, let's call it the thing!" Timmy suggested. If Jon was not able to speak it out loudly, then at least it has a name now. In Smallville everyone was still worried.
"Let's say… we were shocked! Shocked and… disappointed. I mean our parents have lied to us for years and… well… shortly after, our parents more or less spontaneously decided to move to Smallville!" Jon told.
"That was something I never fully understood! Who moves voluntarily from Metropolis to that Podunk?" Timmy asked.
"My father! For him is Smallville like the heaven on Earth! Even if it is in truth the pure hell! But anyway… I think it was just because of the thing and because of Jordan's… well… his similarity with our dad… I mean… It turned out that he and our dad have 'the thing' in common. Our dad told us we move to grow together as a family! But I know the truth: my dad just didn't want his beloved farm, that he not even takes care of, go to the bank! And because of the thing!"
"This 'thing' seems to be something serious!" Timmy said. "But I would have never suggested that your dad is that kind of person who lets someone down after a move. I mean, that pep-talk he gave me when I was upset about our move to Germany, was really impressive!"
"Yeah… I know the story, Timmy!" Jon wailed.
It was shortly after Timmy's parents told him that they are going to move to Germany, because Timmy's father (a journalist, too) got send there by his own paper for work as a correspondent. Timmy was so mad and upset about the move that he didn't talk to his parents for days. Until one day, when Timmy was crying behind their house. Clark found him there after returning from a Superman-mission and gave him a pep-talk about the pros of a move and the opportunities that they bring.
"See… and that's what I tried to see in the move to Smallville." Jon told. "I mean… Of course I was mad! I left my girlfriend behind; I gave up my position in the football-team, I lost all my friends, and I was forced to start from the scratch. With everything! But no matter how bad things were, I tried to give Smallville and the move a chance! I mean… your move to Germany? What did it give to you?"
"Well…" Timmy began to think. "…I speak fluent German now, I have made a lot of new friends, from different countries, I have visited places I would have thought that I never going to see them, I learned a lot of the versatile culture there, and I lost almost all my biased thoughts on certain countries! So… after all, I would say the move to Germany was the best that could have happened to me!"
"See… and I thought that the move could be an improvement, too! I mean, my father promised to be more around and spend more time with us. Instead… It all turned out to be a lie!" Jon wailed and took a deep breath. "On… on our first day in the new school… he… he took Jordan on a trip to his grandfather. He sent me to school to deal with the hate Jordan created during an incident at a bonfire… he allowed Jordan to ditch school and introduce him to his grandfather! And I got bullied for what he did!"
"Wait, your grandfather? The general?"
"No… The general is my maternal grandfather! Jordan got taken to my father's father!" Jon explained.
"Didn't you tell me that he died long ago?"
"Yes… I mean… Well…" Jon had no clue how to explain that, without revealing the secret, so he began to improvise. "…you know… my father got adopted! And… several years ago… he found his genetic parents."
"Your grandparents?"
"No! He was not my grandfather!"
"But when he is your father's father, he is your grandfather, too?" Timmy said confused.
"I thought so too at first. But my father only wanted to introduce Jordan to him." Jon explained.
"Why?"
"Because of the thing! Anyway, the way Jordan was talking about him, I know that he never wanted to see me anyway! But I admit it would have been better to hear that from him in person instead of from Jordan!"
In Smallville, Clark shuddered at the thought of it. He had to think back to that day. Full of pride he took Jordan to the fortress and send Jonathan to school to tell everyone that Jordan is sick! Realizing that it was unfair.
"I mean, my father told me to tell everyone that Jordan is sick, just to hide the fact that he allowed him to ditch school. And there it wasn't easy as well. From the first day, everyone in the football-team there openly showed me that I have no right to be there! They openly excluded me! Even the coach, and he was the worst of all. On my second day, Coach Gaines told me directly into the face that he doesn't need a 'big-city-brat' who thinks that 'he is better' in his team of so called honest and eager players! But my parents… they didn't care! My mom was more worried about her Morgan-Edge-story and my dad was only worried about Jordan and the 'thing'!"
"What is the thing? Is it something illegal?"
"No, Timmy! I would rather call it a hereditary disease!" Jon murmured. "And that's why my father tried to suggest me that it is good that I got spared! That he was ashamed for it! That Jordan had to suffer and that I should be glad that it doesn't affect me… but… I admit it would have been great to know more about it. I mean… could it affect me, too? Should I be more careful… ehm… Jordan's new grandfather… only wanted to see him when he has it! It doesn't matter that I would have been glad to meet him, too or so. Everyone made it clear that he is only Jordan's grandfather. Not mine! When I asked my mom why Jordan… ehm… gets to make a trip with our dad and I have to go to school, you know what she said: At least we got a radio!"
Lois burst out in tears when she heard that. She said exactly these words. They were meant to let Jonathan smile, but now, hearing them out of Jonathan's mouth, let them sound like sheer mockery. Of course, flying with Superman is thousand times better than a car-radio. And Jor-El was Jonathan's grandfather, too! Why Clark didn't bring him to Jor-El, too? Even if it was just to introduce him?
"I never met him! And I will never meet him!" Jonathan explained.
"Why?"
"He… is dead! He died some time ago!" Jonathan improvised. "I… I don't even know his face! Jordan always said he looks like Angus Macfayden, but I personally didn't believe it!"
In Smallville, Clark took his phone to google Angus Macfayden and suddenly realized that the man really had a shocking similarity with Jor-El…
"But you know what, Timmy, I tried to live on! I tried to focus on my life and what I am good in! But suddenly even that everyone told me I am not good enough in. First Jordan cheats his way into the team, then everyone tells me that I am inferior to him and no matter how hard I try to prove that I can be special, too… everyone keeps telling me that I am not worth enough to get even listened to. And that just because Jordan has…. Ehm… the thing, and I don't!"
"How did your brother cheat himself into the football-team of your school?" Timmy asked shocked and confused.
Jon closed his eyes and bit on his tongue. That went too far. In Smallville, Jordan realized meanwhile that he was not better than everyone who used to take X-K! Since he had powers and was like a huge walking piece of X-K himself!
"Tell him, Jon!" Jordan murmured. "Please speak it out loudly, I don't deserve better!"
In Metropolis, Jon thought carefully about his words…
"You wouldn't understand when I tell you! But I supported him! I even convinced my parents to allow it!"
"Wait, your parents know that your brother cheated? And they punished you when you did the same? What did your brother do? Did he take X-K, too?"
"It's… complicated!" Jonathan said. "I just… know that I wanted to help Jordan! I mean… you have seen him. You have seen his struggles and the bullying he went through! I thought that this is his chance to make some progress. To make friends, to be in a group, be part of something. I mean… for years, everything Jordan seemed to prefer was sitting in his room, play videogames and brood about his miserable life! And he made some real progress over the past few months! I was happy for him… I couldn't guess that Coach Gaines was taking advantage of it. I had to run laps every day. For hiding that Jordan has talent."
When his family heard that, they thought about it. It was really unfair and pretty crappy from Gaines.
"And my father allowed it! You know he became assistant coach. Not to support me, but to support Jordan. And no matter how bad I got treated by Gaines; he didn't care. I guess Gaines saw it and knew he wouldn't get in trouble."
"You should report Gaines to the school-authority! Bullying itself is not okay, but it is even worse when a teacher does that!" Timmy said shocked.
"For that it is too late! Anyway, my High-School-football career was over the day, we moved to Smallville! Then my broken arm… and the other things… The X-K!"
"Now that you mention your broken arm…" Timmy interfered and leaned forward a bit. "…what was that about? Everyone is wondering what really happened?"
"What do you mean with that?" now Jon was confused.
"Well… I was not there when you played against your old team, but everyone was talking about it. It was a huge scandal. Well… during the game, everyone could see that the only reason your team won, was because our team was primarily focusing on bullying Jordan during the game. That and Jimmy Cutter's reputation as a sadistic bully were reason enough for all present parents at the game to demand his exclusion from the team!"
"I heard about that!" Jon explained.
"Well… Cutter and the two other boys who later ambushed you in that alley, they were kicked out of the team. And the next day the schoolboard wanted to discuss about expelling Cutter. Your brother was not the only one he bullied, and he had more enemies than people could count. Then everyone heard about your broken arm, and everyone was convinced that only Cutter could be responsible for it. But no matter that nobody believed him, Cutter insisted on it that your brother broke your arm when you tried to stop him from punching him. Everyone said it was a desperate lie to pretend that he is not the asshole he always was. But what really happened?"
Jon closed his eyes and hold his arm. He could feel the pain again when he thought about it.
"Yes… this is what happened! Jordan broke my arm!"
In Smallville, Jordan began to cry when he thought about that evening again. And when Jonathan continued it got even worse…
"My parents know what happened! But they wanted to protect Jordan! As soon as we got home, Jordan got ice-cream and a pep-talk from my mom, and to me she only said: 'It could have been worse'! I just wanted to cry after that sentence and stormed upstairs because I couldn't look on her anymore!"
Lois began to cry again when she heard that. It was true: It could have been worse! Jordan could have killed someone! He could have exposed his powers! He could have permanently damaged Jonathan's arm! But saying this sentence to the boy right after he got hurt, was not okay! She mocked him again…
"I am not mad on Jordan! Sure, I was at first! But Jimmy Cutter is really an asshole and Jordan was provoked by him. Every other guy would have tried to punch Cutter, too! But well… my season was over; I became more useless than before, and Jordan got showed whatever he wanted. And for my parents it was more important to investigate the Morgan-Edge-crisis. I've got almost killed by possessed townspeople. I… ehm…"
A tear ran down Jon's face… it was hard to talk about what he wanted to say next…
"Hey,… it's okay! Let it out!" Timmy offered.
"I… Jordan was… ehm… he… became one of Edge's eradicated victims!" Jon explained.
"WHAT?" Timmy yelled shocked.
In Smallville everyone shuddered… that was something, they always kept for themselves to protect the secret. But everyone who knew it got told that the only reason Jordan was kidnapped by Edge was because he was Lois' son, and she was the one who investigated against Edge.
"Well… Edge was mad on my mom, so Jordan got a Kryptonian into his head, too. He… he was managed to turn unconscious and was laying in the barn. When he regained consciousness, he grabbed me by my throat and tried to choke me while floating over the ground." Jonathan told. "I tell you, never ever in my life I was so scared. I feared for my life. If… if Jordan hadn't been able to break his mind free… he would have killed me!"
Tears flow down Jon's face when Timmy gave him a hug.
"Hey, it's fine… it's over!" Timmy said while Jon's family in Smallville shuddered at that thought. "What did your brother say about it?"
"I never dared to tell him that so detailed. The whole event was very traumatic, but for him it was bad, too! And I knew my parents had to deal with other things. I know it since we were little, other things, Jordan and their business are always more important…"
"That is not true!" Lois cried up loudly in her office when she heard that. So, this was the reason Jonathan doesn't trust them? Because they taught him that he is never a priority. Is this the reason they estranged? Not that they have been ever close before at all…
In Metropolis, a cold shiver ran down Jonathan's back when for a very brief moment, he had the feeling to hear his mother's voice…
"Oh… it feels like she is upset! And mad on me! For telling you all this." Jon murmured.
"No, I am not mad! Oh, Jonathan…" Lois cried up full of guilt.
"I have the feeling as if I can hear her voice!" Jonathan said.
Suddenly both Sam and Lois realized that Jonathan really might be able to hear them just like they could hear him. When Sam reprogrammed the ELT, he created a connection.
"But enough of that… After that mess with Edge, I tried to focus on my life again. Jordan and our dad had their thing, my mom bought herself into the local newspaper in Smallville and I… tried to focus on that what I was good in. But even that became impossible!"
"You mean the X-K?" Timmy asked.
"Yes…" Jon moaned and became sad again. "…you know… my whole life is dominated by that thing of my father and Jordan. No matter what I do or say, it is always more important. That's why I so desperately tried to be at least special in the football team. I ignored that Coach Gaines tried to shun me out of the team. I ignored that nobody there had any respect for me! I trained hard, did everything to keep in shape but it was useless. Since half the team was already on X-K!"
Everyone in Smallville was suddenly really upset. What followed was very important…
"I realized that something was going on! I saw how Timmy was suddenly better than he should be…"
"Excuse me...?" the Timmy in front of him asked confused.
"Not you! Timmy Ryan from Smallville!" Jon explained. "Anyway… he was too good. He was always a mediocre player. But suddenly he and some others were so good. I felt so weak… so left out again. And then I tried to do some research. I tried to peek into their lockers from time to time, tried to hear what they whisper, I made some research on my own… trying to figure out what Timmy… your namesake, could have taken and where he got it from!"
"And what did you figure out?"
"Not much! I tried to talk to Jordan about it! I told him about my suspicion, and he immediately changed the topic to how he…met his grandmother!" Jon moaned, almost blurting out how Jordan fought 'Uncle Tal'.
"Grandmother?"
"My father's real mother!"
"You are not allowed to meet her, too?" Timmy was shocked.
"I don't think she even knows about me!" Jon wailed.
That sentence was a huge shock for every one in his family. Does Jonathan really think so? Jordan thought about it and indeed couldn't remember his father ever mentioning his brother to Lara. Clark was sad, that his son thought so.
"Jordan told me how exciting that day was. And what they did and how she is glad that she finally got to meet him. I knew my father will not take me to her, too. So, I decided to not to ask any more questions. And I also didn't tell Jordan about my suspicion anymore. I knew he was not interested in such ordinary things!"
Jordan's heart broke when he heard that. Now that he thought about it, he could have prevented his brother's X-K abuse if he just listened, instead of rubbing his brother into his face that he met Lara. He should have thought about his brother and that he might want to meet her, too.
"Jon, you are too kind and too nice! You really need to stand up against your family. You should… demand to be allowed to know her, too… you could… go to her by yourself!"
"I don't know where she exactly is! I have no coordi… ehm… address!" Jon explained. "I… I only know her given name: Lara!"
"Lor-Van! Lara Lor-Van!" Clark cried up when he realized what this was all about.
In Metropolis, Jon became even moodier…
"When your namesake finally confessed to me that he takes X-K, he was not even ashamed for it. Rubbing it to me into my face, that he is better than me, because he has Kryptonian powers. As if I don't have enough of it from ho… I mean… as if my life was not freaky enough… And the worst was… when… he told me that it was my girlfriend Candice, who sold him that stuff!"
Jon became moody. His friend noticed that it was a difficult matter for him…
"I was so mad when I heard that. I demanded from him that he takes it back." Jon told. "I had no idea that it was real. Or even possible! We… start to fight!"
"And what happened after?"
"Can't you imagine… I got in trouble for it!" Jon told. "My father pulled me to the locker where almost… ehhm… he… well…"
"What?" Timmy asked worried. "What did your dad do to you?"
Clark shuddered when he thought about that day. He under the influence of his inverse, and how scared Jon was…
"Oh my god, did he beat you?" Timmy asked.
"No… No, he didn't beat me! But… for a moment, I thought he wants to kill me!" Jon confessed. "Well… later it turned out to be… a seizure… but was so scaring. And after that, I didn't get it out what Timmy, your namesake, told me! My father didn't care. He never asked me for it! He wanted to know how to make amends for that incident and I should have insisted on him listening to me! Instead… Everything I asked for where driving-lessons!"
Jon's loud moan was clearly audible.
"I mean… I should have told him! Instead, I was so scared… I mean… distracted… that I couldn't. I went to Candice instead to ask her out. She confessed it. She told me that her father has health problems and that they are broke and that she must do it to not to lose their home. And they already live in that rundown trailer. I… think I was blended. By my jealousy! My anger! My worries for her! I knew my parents doesn't care and that stuff will not hurt me if I try it! So… I decided to make the worst mistake of my life and… And I bought one inhaler from her to try it!"
"How is it?" Timmy asked curiously.
"Don't even try it! It's not worth it!" Jon warned. "And there are side effects!"
"I don't want to take it! But what are the side effects?"
Suddenly everyone listening in Smallville was very upset. The main reason Lois was mad, was because of her fear that it could hurt Jon, since he was partly Kryptonian, too. Clark thought it was just about cheating and Jordan knew that Jon was jealous. They suddenly had the chance to get answers that were honest like never before…
"It… it turns you into a Kryptonian!" Jon said.
"I know that! I read about it! You get stronger and so. It's called Superman-drug because it lets you feel like Superman!"
"That's not what I mean…" Jon cried up. "… I mean… It's turning you into a Kryptonian! An arrogant, selfish creature, that believes it is superior to others. I saw it with your namesake, and it happened to me! I mean… I was there when Edge's Kryptonian-army attacked. I have seen what Kryptonians are capable of. And what these creatures really are. I see it… in… ehm… with… well… anyway it was a mistake. I thought I was doing it because I was left out… but I think in truth I was just jealous on… the thing!"
"What has the thing to do with X-K?" Timmy asked.
"That… is difficult!" Jon moaned, wishing he could talk openly. "Hard to explain! I mean… I… took it a handful of times. The first time, I just wanted to prove Coach Gaines that I am as good as the others. I thought I could force him to see my efforts. And he really did! It was useless to tell him about the X-K anyway. I couldn't get Candice in trouble! But it got worse… One day, my grandfather suddenly came to the farm. I thought he wants to visit us… Instead, I figured out that he secretly trains Jordan! And that he should kept it a secret! Even from me!"
In Smallville, Sam tried to turn off the ELT to cut the connection. Since he knew what would follow and he was scared that he busts him. But Lois put her hand on his and showed it away from the ELT, since she wanted to hear that…
"Train him in what?" Timmy asked.
"In… self-defense!" Jon lied.
"Why it sounds like a lie?"
"Because it was… aghh… It's the thing, okay!" Jonathan told causing Timmy to nod in apology. "As soon as my grandfather figured out that I know about it, he couldn't wait to get rid of me! I was… allowed to watch them for two minutes. But just for him to see how much stronger he is compared to me!"
"Hä? Bitte was?" Timmy exclaimed in German. "Jordan? Stronger than you? What did I miss?"
"Be happy that you miss it!" Jon moaned. "Anyway, I thought my grandfather wanted to spend time with me, too! Instead, everything was a lie, too."
"And what was a lie?"
"You know… In the past, I and the General… we had this good connection. At least I thought so! He… took me on fishing-trips, he occasionally came to my games, and that even more than my parents. And we always had so much fun together. He listened to my stories. And I listened to his exciting stories about the military. And you know what… until last year, I really considered about joining the army after school! Because I wanted to be like my grandfather!"
Sam frowned and bit on his lip after hearing that. He had Jonathan right where he wanted him! But he knew, Jonathan could never join the army, since every blood-test would reveal his heritage. He just wanted him to be on good terms with the army as soon as his powers show up. But that was now obsolete, since he was powerless.
"It all sound so interesting. Fighter-jet-pilot, elite-soldier and so on! But… I realized that day, that it was only about the thing!" Jon said. "He let me be there for a minute to see how much stronger Jordan is and then he sent me away. But before, he turned to Jordan, put his hand on his shoulder and talked about how special he is!"
Jon took a deep breath after that sentence. It hurt to think about it.
"That day… he openly told me that I am nothing special! And I realized that it was about the thing again!"
"The thing is not good!" Timmy said.
"It's crap! It's bullshit! And it is a curse! At least for me!" Jonathan said. "When I saw my grandfather standing there, how he looked on Jordan and said how special he is… that was the same way he used to talk to me to in the past. And I realized that all those fishing-trips, all those bonding-activities in the past, everything… was just because he thought that I have the thing! Because he thought that I have p… well… the thing!"
Sam became pale when that was spoken out and received that death-glare from Lois. If views could kill, Sam would be dead now. She made a clear gesture that was meant 'we talk about this'. And Sam could imagine that it was not going to be a pleasant 'talk'. Upstairs in his room, Jordan became pale, and he start to re-think his training and his 'good relationship' with Sam.
"And once again, I should have said something! But my voice failed. If I had said that… I don't know… if I had spoken out loudly what I think, telling Jordan that the General only trains him because of his… thing, I wonder what would have happened…"
In his room, Jordan cramped up so hard, that he broke the armrest of his desk-chair. Suddenly everything he reached in the past few months seemed so false. So unreal…
"I mean… Jordan was so happy to finally build a relationship with our grandfather. He always felt so left out by him! I couldn't ruin him that!" Jon continued.
Jordan starts to cry… His brother was really too good, and he didn't deserve him…
"And not only that, but I also knew the General would have done everything to get rid of me, if I had dared to interfere in his 'project' with Jordan!"
The General meanwhile received another death-glare from Lois and latter let out more tears. Wondering why she never realized that before. She wanted to yell, but she feared Jon could hear it over the ELT in his pocket. Clark meanwhile was shocked, too.
"I was thinking a lot about it in the past few months. And I think, if the General wouldn't know about the thing, he wouldn't even know our names. It's the same with my dad!"
Clark began to think about his relationship with Sam, too…
"What has your dad to do with that?" Timmy asked, but received only an annoyed glare from Jon. "Oh… I understand! The thing!"
"I… I should have warned Jordan. As nice as it was that he became more self-confident… he also… changed! And not only in the positive way…" Jon told, causing his brother in Smallville to cramp up even more. "… but my hurt pride, my jealousy and my ego took over me again."
A tear ran down Jon's face again when he remembered what he did…
"I… went into the house… took my inhaler… breathed in some X-K… and went back to the barn. Just to prove my grandfather that I am as worth as Jordan. I won the fist fight of course… but I quickly realized that the X-K really turned me into an arrogant and superior Kryptonian. My grandfather was unimpressed. He still focused on Jordan. But Jordan got suspicious. And quickly things went out of control! I mean… I suddenly felt so strong and self-confident with the X-K. My parents finally seemed to value my efforts. Value me…"
In Smallville everyone was ashamed again…
"…but that wasn't me! It was wrong! It was false… and as I said, things went out of control. Sometime later, your namesake was caught with X-K by his parents and kicked out of the team. Officially because he was 'sick'. And I finally got my chance to play again. But then Jordan found my inhaler and figured everything out. We had a huge fight. He was so… disappointed… I… I broke his heart… most of all because he thought that I… ehm… well…"
Jordan could imagine what his brother meant. Indeed, Jordan was happy for Jon to finally get powers, too and very disappointed that they were fake… and honestly, more about that then about the X-K itself. But he never spoke that out loudly or told anyone.
"…Jordan… promised to me that he doesn't tell our parents and I promised to never take it again. I threw away the little rest I had and told Candice the next day that I don't want it anymore. But suddenly… the Sheriff and some deputies arrived. With a drug-sniffing-dog. Candice had a bag with about 20 inhalers with her. She… she was scared, she was afraid… She feared those people her father works for. And I… I don't know… my mind went black. I felt that urge to help and to protect her!"
"You and your hero-complex! You always put the weight of the world on your shoulders. You always step in for others, even when it ends not good for you!" Timmy said. "Really, you could be rather the son of Superman with that personality!"
Hearing that Clark shuddered. It was true: Jonathan was a lot like him. Powers or not! Just seen by personality, Jonathan would be much better suited to be a hero than Jordan. And he ignored that…
Jonathan meanwhile shuddered after the last sentence. He wanted to yell, but he couldn't bust his father. As much as he would love to humiliate his father after today.
"Timmy, if you would know about Superman what I know you would grab that poster in your room and burn it in the chimney!" Jon wailed abashed.
"Wha…?"
"Don't care! Anyway… I… had this knee-jerk-reaction… and I took her bag with the inhalers to hide them and to dispose them. But I got caught… and after that everything went downhill…"
In Smallville, everyone remembered what happened that day and how they threat Jonathan after that day.
"I couldn't deliver Candice to the police. I couldn't ruin her life more than it already was. But Coach Gaines, finally got a reason to kick me out of the team and use me as the scapegoat for cancelling the football-season and humiliating the team. It doesn't matter that the half-team, the other teams and a dozen others were on X-K, or that everyone knew that Candice was the dealer. Candice had dozens of customers. And I am sure that at least 50 to 60 people knew it. Even more! But I am just the moved in big-city-brat! I was never welcomed in Smallville, and everyone always kept telling me that I don't belong there. Even before the X-K. It just gave them a reason to openly show it…"
Clark lowered his head. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to…
"My parents only demanded to know who the dealer was. But I was not able to betray Candice. My parents would have destroyed her life. I lost every faith in them. Candice was not born in Smallville, and she didn't have the thing! So, I kept her secret… and my parents openly showed me what I knew already."
"Didn't you try to tell them why you took it?" Timmy asked.
"I tried! I told it to my mom! In my room! A few hours after I got caught! I told her that I took it because I felt left out and not special! And she pretended that she only heard 'football' and demanded to know who the dealer is again. But that's what it has always been! My parents never listen to me! And later when my father came home… he… I have never seen him so furious. It was like… I have never… been so scared of him… I tried to explain to him to, but he didn't even give me a chance. He just called me a huge shame for his family. A family I thought I have but that has openly showed me that I am not worth to be part of. Ever since we moved to Smallville… Ever since Jordan got his… aghh…"
Jon was trembling. Tears flow down his face. Timmy reached out a bottle of water to his friend.
"Drink! That will calm you down!" Timmy said.
Jon opened the bottle to drink some water. It didn't calm him down, but at least it helped him to moisture his dry mouth again. In Smallville everyone felt even more guilty.
"Something terrible happened while he was not at home. He never told me what happened to him… but it felt as if he was taking it out all on me! He stormed out of my room without giving me a chance to apologize. Only telling me to apologize to the Coach who bullied me, the team who excluded me and the principal who didn't believe me! I just wanted to be loved by my parents! I just wanted to be special, too! Instead, I ruined everything! The following weeks were awful. I was put on online-classes. After school, my parents send me to work in a store in town."
"You know, I don't get why your parents are such dicks?" Timmy asked shocked. "I mean… they have always seemed so friendly and so understandingly. Your father always seemed so mild-mannered."
"That's Smallville! It changes people. My father believes it is the heaven on Earth because he grew up there, but things have changed. I… met it as the purgatory! The people have been always so xenophobic and hostile towards me. They are frustrated because the only entertainment they have is making other people's lives difficult. Every day I was working in the store, there were at least 10 incidents with people either threatening me, offending, or insulting me! On my first evening… I… got attacked!"
"By whom?" Timmy asked shocked.
"Shortly before I finished my first shift, Candice came into the store. She was scared. The man… who distributed her with the X-K, demanded his money. He even showed up in school. She was so afraid, that I brought her home, so she is not alone! And… her distributor… he showed up with his car and tried to kidnap her… I tried to help her… but I am just an ordinary human… I don't know how to fight… and my grandfather had made it clear, I am just a damsel in distress who has to hide behind… well… That guy took a deep breath of X-K and smashed me across the street…"
"Ouwchh…" Timmy exclaimed. Jon's family was terrified. Expect Jordan, who was there and interfered.
"Candice screamed for help and luckily… someone heard us… and… interfered. We were able to escape. I had, bruises and scratches all over! My whole body was aching… I felt like a truck hit me! I arrived home… 10 minutes late! And my parents immediately made it clear that I am not allowed to walk Candice home! I am only supposed to be either at the farm or in the store! And that this is my life! And once again… I couldn't tell them what was going on! I wanted to tell them to get me to the hospital. I wanted to tell them to get me to a doctor, because I was in pain. But they have made clear that I am not worth enough to get listened to!"
"I am so sorry to hear that!" Timmy said.
"The following month… my father… left for work. The people continued to show me their hate! My mom continued to show me her disappointment. Only Jordan showed some empathy but his training with my grandfather, that I was not allowed to get even close to, was more important to him. Jordan does not understand till today that the General has his own filthy motives…"
Sam tried to turn of the ELT again, but once again Lois slapped his hand away…
"…and my dad… I… didn't talk to him that whole time. I asked me ever and ever again if it is my fault that he left so long! If he will ever forgive me? If I will ever be able to have a normal talk with him? My mom was no help! She was too worried about her work…"
"That's not true!" Lois cried abashed before holding her mouth, hoping Jon didn't hear her.
"You know… several days ago, shortly before my father returned from… ehm… work… there was mayoral election in Smallville! A friend of my father won the election. But before, during the preparation, there were this woman and Coach Gaines again. It was in the school's auditorium, and they approached me in front of everyone, and insulted me in front of everyone. Coach Gaines spreads lies about me ever since I came to Smallville. And it was so embarrassing… I felt like being on display. And the worst was, my mom was standing there, watching it, and even agreeing to that woman! It was my father's friend who stepped in to defend me! My own mother allowed those people to hurt me in front of everyone! That was the moment I realized that I was dead to her, too!"
Lois burst out in tears again and start to tremble. Suddenly she had the scene at election day in her head. She realized that she gave that woman and Coach Gaines really the permission to be mean to her son. And that in front of so many people. Clark, who was not there, was shocked to hear that…
"I… I had to get out. All eyes were fixed on me! And I knew it would only get worse if I do not leave! I went home and did homework just to avoid the people… Jordan just wanted to talk how he… no… it's the thing… then later… after I was attacked by my… ehm… by some guy with… well… my father returned. I was hurt and bruised and the only thing he cared about was why I didn't tell him about Candice. Once again… I tried to explain me and my motives, but after the first three words, he cut me off and gave a lecture that Candice should have been punished. And I confronted him about that if I would have… the thing, he would listen to me and only if that!" Jon moaned and took another sip of water.
"But when he knows now that it was Candice, things should be better?" Timmy asked.
"They aren't'!" Jon moaned. "And today… was just another reminder that nothing has changed. That I am less worth and that nothing I say matters… OH GOD… That was so embarrassing! And they don't even realize how much that hurt!"
"Is it about today? What happened?"
Jon took a deep breath…
"My dad… he had a huge fight with his friend and… he was worried about the current crisis with… ehm… my mom's investigation! You know my mom is a trouble-magnet!"
"Oh, yeah… she is infamous for that!" Timmy smiled. Lois was embarrassed.
"Anyway, my father told us, he would like to spend the whole day with us. Doing chores!"
"Chores? When my dad wants to bond time with me, he takes me on a trip!"
"Oh… he went on a trip! With Jordan! We were in the barn… and for the first time in months, we both had a normal conversation. He seemed… interested in my thoughts. And I, as dumb as I am, thought that I can finally open up to him. So, I told him about my struggles…"
Now came the part, Clark was not proud on. The others listened closer…
"…I… I told him everyone hates me! I told him about that I have no future. That I don't know what to do with my life! I have no perspectives, I have no friends, I don't even know what to do now or how to go on! And my so-called-father, took his hand on my shoulder and said, that he is going to help me figuring out what to do and to help me. And I was so dumb to think that it was true! That things are finally going better from now!"
Tears ran down Jon's face when he thought about the pain of today. And the humiliation…
"And then?" Timmy asked.
"My father barely finished his sentence when he suddenly changed the topic to Jordan again…"
"Seriously, what makes Jordan so special that your parents prefer him?" Timmy asked annoyed, causing everyone in Smallville to shiver. "The thing?"
"Of course, the thing! You know… Jordan's girlfriend, the daughter of the friend my father has this fight with, broke up with him recently! And Jordan screwed off from the farm after my father's announcement with the chores to go to town and brood. My father… left… telling me is looking for Jordan… and was gone! For four hours!" Jon told, taking another sip of water while his face blushed. "And… in these four hours, I continued with the chores and… I looked forward to finally come clean with him! I wanted to tell him everything! And after I was done with the chores and… and even did a bit more than requested, they suddenly come back. Both with these sheepish smiles on their faces and announce that they made a trip to… well a trip…"
Another tear ran down Jonathan's face…
"I was alone the whole day, brooding about my life, thinking about how to get it under control again and they just screw off and have fun without me! Like usual. And believe me… when they stood in front of me, I could swear that they sneered. They laughed me down… at least it felt like that! And my father didn't even thank me for doing 'their' chores. He turned to Jordan and told him how proud he is on him… and I think that was the worst of all…"
In Smallville, Jordan burst out in tears… the way his brother described his trip with their father today, let it really sound as if it was only to show Jon how inferior he is! If he would have been the powerless one who got left behind, he would make a much worse scene! Clark meanwhile was embarrassed…
"That was so crappy! Your parents really need a lecture!" Timmy said. "If my parents would treat me like that, I would leave and never ever talk to them anymore!"
Lois cried up loudly after Timmy's words. A cold shiver ran down Jon's back when he could swear, he could his mother again…
"Agghh… I just don't know what to do, Timmy! I really have no future! My father made it clear that my only purpose in life is to work on his farm and that I will always be in everyone's shadow because I am not like him and Jordan! My mother allowed the town and all others to be mean to me for something at least a dozen of others did, too! And my grandfather thinks I am not more than a useless civilian that has no use for his plans! Aghh… two weeks ago… my father was still out in the other… ehm… town… he came to the farm for one of his training-sessions with Jordan. I tried to talk to him! I said… I wanted to talk to him about the X-K… and he dismissed me! He harshly ordered me to stay out of his business with Jordan and sent me into the house to cook dinner. Telling that Jordan was more important!"
Sam could feel Lois' grip around his arm getting stronger. Her nails pinching into his skin so hard, that it hurt. His daughter looked on him with such a hate and Sam realized that he was busted…
"And what do you want to do now?" Timmy asked.
"I don't know! I really don't know! My family will just tell me to come back to the farm, give me more false promises like they always do and then pretend as if it never happened. I honestly don't even know why I am here now! After my father told Jordan how proud he is on him he left for … work… again and I was so mad, I let it all out on Jordan! I am not proud on it, but I also know they are mad on me for hurting their precious superson's feelings, I was… my mind went black… I don't even remember how I got into town. I just left the house when I was sure that Jordan was not watching!"
Jonathan looked down on himself and shacked his head. He still wore the clothes he wore when he was doing the chores. He didn't shower, he didn't change into clean clothes, and he didn't even have fresh underwear with him. All he had was his phone and his wallet with 10 Dollar and 13 Cents. He didn't even take his keys with him.
"Aghh… Timmy, may I use your shower?" Jon wailed.
"Of course, Jon! Feel like home!" Timmy said and lift of his chair to show Jon the bathroom. He noticed long ago that Jon smelled a bit like fertilizer, but he didn't want to be impolite. But Jon was his friend and of course he was welcomed. "Jon, I say it again: You are too nice! Your parents just exploit your patience! They don't value what you do for them! Just because of the thing?"
"Of course it was just about the thing. And not about his promises…" Jon wailed and turned around when they arrived in front of the bathroom door to look at his friend. "… you know, I thought the move could have some positive advantages for me, too! Meeting my father's real parents, experience something exciting, learn something new… instead… They only transferred all of Jordan's problems and issues on me. They gave Jordan everything he wanted and even more. I got nothing! I only had to give!"
"You should stop to support your parents!" Timmy suggested. "When they don't value what you do for them, they don't deserve it!"
"That won't make any difference. My father has clearly shown me months ago that I can never keep up with them!" Jon wailed. "I really wish I would wake up and everything is normal again! My grandma still alive, still living in New Troy, the thing is not… ehm… well… moving to Smallville was like moving to another planet. And my father and my brother don't want me on their planet! I don't fit in there, because I am not like them!"
Jordan cramped up again. So hard that he crushed the other armrest of his desk chair…
"Thank you, Timmy!"
"What for? I didn't do anything!"
"You did much more for me than my parents: You listened!" Jon said with a weak smile on his face. "And that was all I wanted from my father today! Even if I couldn't tell you everything. You know… it is one of those days, when I wonder that I got switched at birth, or was adopted. I think it is really the best when I give up trying to be their son! It's useless to try!"
And with these words, Jon closed the bathroom-door to finally take the so much needed shower…
In Smallville, Lois was furious…