Old Habits

For the third time in 24 hours, Amanda filled the brewer to make coffee. So much for her New Year's resolution to cut back on caffeine. She'd been doing so well for the past few months, too. Second time, she corrected herself, remembering last night's hot chocolate and feeling better about herself. As she ground the Arabica beans, she contemplated her unexpected guests as they discussed the men's journey back to the states. First Francine breaking in, then Lee turning out to not be dead after all, just apparently still keeping an eye on the guy he was assigned to babysit that fateful night. And herself, the version of herself she thought she'd left behind, holding down the homefront. She sighed. Just like old times.

It seemed like such a long time ago, though, and so alien to the comfortable pattern her days had taken since coming to live with Jamie's family in Orchard Park. Still, the old Amanda had resurfaced readily enough when she'd found Francine in the house last night.

Both Amandas, Government Agent and doting Grandmother, began to think about dinner. Food was often good for reconciliation, both within and between people. She wondered whether "reconciliation" was the right word, but somehow felt that it fit better than "reunion", at least where her husb...Lee...was concerned.

She and Francine had eaten a heartier breakfast than either was accustomed to, knowing they were unlikely to eat again before evening. She didn't imagine the men had eaten a good meal in at least as long as they'd gone without showering. Four days, she thought, finding it interesting that her nose was still intimately familiar with Lee even if her heart was not.

About that...

Amanda put the beans in the brewer, then excused herself to the laundry room. She'd held on to some of Lee's dress shirts and sweatshirts, although she hadn't felt the need to wear them lately. For the first few months, she'd slept in them almost every night, crying herself to sleep, desperately missing the comfort and security of being in his arms. She'd always washed them on delicate, in cold water, with fragrance free detergent, then air dried them, hoping to preserve his scent as long as possible. After the move, she'd learned about the Eternal Flame. As she'd told Francine, it was practically in her back yard. She'd often put on one of his sweatshirts to hike the trail, then sit for a while and try to remember him. Then winter came and the trails got icy. She figured she'd find herself there again soon, before the weather got nice enough for it to get really crowded. She had a lot to think about.

She forced her mind back to the present. There were a few of Jamie's sweatsuits and gym socks in the load of laundry she'd left in the dryer. She'd intended to put them away when she got home last night, but Francine's unheralded arrival had changed her plans. It changed everything, really.

Her dinner date with Andrew seemed like a lifetime ago now. Someone else's lifetime ago.

She selected clean clothing for both men, her mind briefly flashing back to other times she'd had to lend Lee another man's clothes. While she had been fond of her then-boyfriend Dean and would always have a special place in her heart for her late ex-husband Joe -who'd had the common decency to only die and break her heart once- they, like much of their clothing, always fell short when compared to Lee.

Dr. Wells looked to be about Jamie's size, but a bit taller. She chose the dark green suit for him. The color would go nicely with his ginger hair, she thought. She hesitated before deciding on a set for Lee. Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to give him one of his own sweatshirts from...before. Those were her husband's. This man somehow...wasn't...that man.

She selected the cobalt set for him. Blue had always been his color.

"Francine, could you take the fellas upstairs? I'm sure they're both looking forward to a hot shower and clean clothes. There's a second bath up there in the master suite. It's the door at the top of the stairs." To Francine's surprise and quickly concealed distaste, Amanda also handed her a small laundry basket. "If you could bring their clothes back down here, I'll throw them right in the wash."

Almost as a second thought, she added in Lee's general direction, "And you were right, we should have gone with the tankless water heaters. They really do make a big difference."