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Chapter 4

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She felt like she was in a time loop, however this time the male Cressida was trying to make Penelope look like a fool in front of was Colin rather than Lord Debling.

It didn't work, of course, Colin would never be that cruel to her or let a bully win. He hated bullies more than anything else. Something, she had in common with him.

Cressida stepped on Penelope's dress the second Penelope was trying to take a step forward to greet Colin and she tore the delicate outer layer of fabric. "Oh dear, I will send for a maid to fix your gown." Cressida pretended to fawn over Penelope as if they were friends, as if Colin would be fooled in the slightest.

He knew their social standings very well, hearing Eloise talk about the women if nothing else. Cressida's country home wasn't too far from the Bridgertons' nor the Featheringtons' and they only occasionally crossed paths.

Penelope's mother and Cressida's spent a fair amount of time in each other's company, gossiping and comparing notes. Penelope wished her mother wouldn't continue that friendship but now that it had started, it would probably be worse for them if it ended, knowing Lady Cowper's character as she did. Thankfully it did not mean that their daughters had to spend time with each other. That was especially true now that Penelope's older sisters were married and Cressida was more her eldest sister's age. If Penelope thought herself an old maid on the marriage mart, being 3 seasons in, it was nothing compared to Cressida.

Penelope would have planned to be at Eloise's had her mother suggested the daughters spend even a moment more together than while they were in London. "While a maid is attending to her dress, perhaps the two of us should take a turn on the dance floor." Cressida was holding out her arm with the card dangling tantalizing between them.

Colin turned away from Penelope to look at Cressida, concern was replaced by charm. "I fear that I have already promised my feet to Miss Featherington for the night. Where she goes, I go."

Cressida couldn't hide the scoff she made, one of the only times Penelope saw her lose her fake facade. "Will you go with her to the powder room as well?" It was far too crass for the moment and Colin's smile tightened a little, as obviously he would not and she was missing the sentiment behind his words by taking it too literally, all knew she was doing it on purpose. She was trying to force Colin's hand into dancing with her at least once tonight.

Colin was never one to hurt directly nor break from polite behavior, but Penelope could read Colin well and knew this was pushing against his limits and he was straining to keep the boundary intact. "I shall stand guard at the entrance if I need to." He played it off as a joke and the other ladies around them laughed, mostly in good humor, some in hoping to break this odd meeting and keeping the peace between them all.

Cressida had been beaten and she sent Penelope a withering glare before turning to find another man she could bully into going onto the dance floor with her. "Shall we see to your skirt?" Colin turned back to Penelope with those kind eyes and all strain and dislike was absent once more.

"It's ok, I ought to go back home and have my own maid attend to it."

"Then I shall escort you." He said it but Penelope looked at him in shock. "What?"

"You cannot leave here with me at night and escort me home. We would be alone in the carriage."

"We can bring your maid." Colin was not seeing the problem and she melted at his hopelessness. He would forever just see her as a sister or a little girl, no matter what she did. She shook her head.

"I'll just go with my maid, no need to trouble yourself."

"I can hardly make the declarations I did to Miss Cowper and then stay here on my own. It is a short walk to my mother's, she will be fine with me spending the night."

"Oh, I hadn't realized you'd moved out." Penelope's eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks, surprised by the news, she hadn't heard.

"It was a recent decision. I purchased a home nearby. I may not desire a wife at the moment but I do want my personal space and freedom, especially now that Anthony and Kate have started bringing their own children into the home. I will be ready for when I find the woman to be my wife."

Penelope's lips twisted a little, the one time she and Colin had had a disagreement, so much that it had hurt her feelings and required Anthony to walk her home, had been about a woman. A woman that Colin had wanted to marry and whom Penelope had told him was the worst choice.

He'd accused her of being childish and biased, it had been her cousin. They had gotten to an engagement party before it became known she was with child and it wasn't Colin's. Someone had spied that she was not touching any alcohol and was throwing up in the bushes. Rumor spread and she had been forced to come clean. People wondered afterward why Lady Whistledown didn't say much more than announce the dissolvement of the engagement due to some personal matters.

Lady Whistledown's papers were not meant to harm, just share what was observed and never went after the already weak and vulnerable. She did go after the bullies, which included the Queen at times but it was all fair lobbies and not the same person every article. Sometimes her words while well-intended and just observant but had some far more reaching consequences and sometimes she viciously went after people, her teeth sharp.

It was then that Colin swore off all women and marriage. He hadn't been seen attached to anyone since. That had been a few years ago and in truth, she had been a child at the time, he was 18 and she was 14. He had been too but he thought marriage to a pretty girl would help him feel like a man, make others see him that way too. He'd always been in too much of a hurry to grow up.

6 years on and she still felt the pang of guilt for not just telling him straight why she was opposed to that particular marriage. She knew of her cousin's condition for months by that point and yet she felt tied between familiar loyalty and protecting her friend. She was always good with words and was bright and understood things someone her age and much older didn't always understand. Yet there were still a lot of things in the real every day world that she was oblivious to, hadn't experienced yet. She hadn't the words or knowledge of social interactions to tell him properly.

It also still hurt that he had treated her that way, called her those things to her face and didn't hear her out. They were to be family if he did marry her cousin and they had been friends for a few years by that point. She and Eloise had already felt like sisters and even the others were beginning to feel like family. He had never apologized nor admitted to her that she had been right.

They had gone back to life as normal, pretending the rift had never happened and eventually it no longer mattered. It would just creep up in her thoughts once in awhile. How had he been so certain of that relationship to propose within weeks of meeting her cousin? He had not expressed interest in anyone else since. Had he truly loved her cousin then and was still hurting? He never spoke of her, so Penelope wasn't sure. This was the first time he even mentioned being open to another relationship.

She did finally agree to let Colin and her maid take her home.

Lord Debling did catch her before she and Colin left for the evening. "Miss Featherington, we have not had a chance to have a dance this evening, in fact this is unfairly the first I've seen of you. Where have you been hiding?"

"I'm afraid I had a mishap with my skirt and one of the other girl's heel." Penelope did a tiniest of curtsies, he was higher rank than her but not royalty. They all curtseyed and bowed to Lady Danbury who was also not royalty but her presence demanded a much lower brow. Many among the court got some form of bow or curtsey. Her family and the Cowpers were unfortunately on the lowest wrung of gentry and weren't bowed to except if someone was being polite and her family often because they were all women.

Colin and Lord Debling only nodded at each other, on the same rank as the other and were only greeting each other in politeness. "Most unfortunate news indeed as I assume that means you will be taking leave for the rest of the evening?" He really did seem disappointed.

"It is better my own maid fixes the hem, she had the correct materials to match." Penelope answered a tad wistfully.

"It is a shame as you look lovely in that color and truly stand out amongst the crowd." It was a deep purple and it definitely played up her complexion and vibrant red hair. It was well cut to her figure as well. "I would have been the most happy man to have you on my arm as we took a turn around the dance floor."

Colin cleared his throat, reminding them both that he was still there. "Unfortunately her dance card was already filled for the night, so you would have lost your opportunity there before it even started." Penelope blinked at Colin, her dance card only had Colin's name on it with a few blanks as per their agreement. Lord Debling would have had the chance to dance with her, she didn't understand why he was saying otherwise.

"At the next dance then I will have to seek you out right away and ensure I have a spot or two." Lord Debling looked away from Colin to smile charmingly at Penelope and she felt her heart pick up tempo again.

"Of course. I shall ensure it."

"Wonderful." He gave a little bow to Penelope which somehow included Colin even if his words were mainly meant for Penelope. "I shall not keep you much longer. Have a pleasant rest this evening."

"Pen?" Colin checked, using her nickname well within hearing distance of Lord Debling and a few others, offering his arm as well. She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and allowed him to escort her out. They exited the house and entered the far too humid mid-August heat but thankfully the carriage was not far and was already waiting.

"This is your carriage."

"So it is." Colin helped first her and then her maid into the carriage before following in after them. "Your mother can take yours home this way."

"Of course." Penelope demurred, it did make the most sense. Conversation was not plentiful as there were listening ears of her maid far too close for either to feel comfortable being themselves with each other just then. They did not touch and the ride was fairly quiet until they pulled up in front of Penelope's home.

Colin got out and then helped down the maid then Penelope. "Have sweet dreams, Pen." He whispered in her ear, his warm breath disturbing the strands around it and Penelope's eyes closed momentarily at the sensation. He always threw her for a loop, just like this, whenever she was least expecting it and thinking she got over him, that he wouldn't be able to affect her again.

It was unfair that when she tried to sleep that night, she found the heat had kept her up for far too long. It was nearly dawn before she fell asleep and her thoughts before sleep had followed her into her dreams, swirling images and the faces of two men interchanging, confusing her.

She turned down breakfast in order to recoup some of the sleep that she lost and only appeared downstairs at half past ten. She was dressed and ready for the day but her family was still in their morning attire.

"Are we not going to take to promenade today?" Penelope asked. "I was really looking forward to the hot air balloon exhibit."

"Foolish information you do not need occupying your mind." Portia waved her off. "It is too hot to be outside today, the sun is already beating down and scorching the earth, and it will only get worse."

"Lord Debling has already specifically asked me if I would be in attendance and -" Portia sprang from her chair and hushed Penelope.

"Don't make such a fuss, I'll be ready shortly."

"But mother -" Her sister that was closest in age to her started to protest, she was now with child and she was barely showing.

"No worries, you and your elder sister can stay here with your husbands. This is a mother's work and you would just confuse the matter." They all agreed, much preferring to stay inside rather than face the muggy, sticky weather outside with all kinds of bugs and bites they'd have to contend with when they got home.

It was worth it to Penelope, at least this outing was. She wouldn't want to make a habit of it. She could handle one day of poor weather at a chance to secure her future.

Penelope was surprised to be met nearly instantly by Colin who appeared to be waiting for her at her typical entrance. He matched her stride and ignored her mother's disapproving look. Penelope ignored her too. While Colin always sought her out at these things, keeping an eye open for her presence, he never laid in wait. "Good morning, Colin." She greeted, laying her hand in his elbow as they walked down the promenade. Her eyes open for Lord Debling, she had agreed to meet up with him today and she was going to honor her word but she would also enjoy her time with Colin in the meantime.

"Good morning Pen, you mentioned that you were interested in seeing the hot air balloon exhibit which made me desire to see it too."

"Have you already been up to it?" Penelope asked, her desire to see it had less to do with the object itself than those who would be in attendance. Now that she was here, it did seem interesting too, she wouldn't mind taking a look and learning more.

"Not yet, I was waiting for you." Colin steered her around a dip in their path, they all knew it was there from the previous few days but it had yet to be repaired and some still ended up in it, more than one had twisted an ankle.

Penelope nodded, not sure what else to do. This was part of the strange behavior that Colin was exhibiting recently. It was different than close friend behavior, not even Eloise would sit there waiting for Penelope to show up. Eloise would either appear at her door whenever she felt like it or would clomp on the second she saw Penelope. To wait was so unpredictable, especially for something like this, there wasn't a required start time. She had no idea how long he'd been sitting there. Maybe he hadn't been there long and had only just arrived, sat and saw her and took his opportunity. It was more likely the latter.

Penelope asked after Eloise and Colin said that she'd be there eventually. They made a turn down the promenade and started to make their way back. They hadn't seen Lord Debling yet and Portia was getting agitated. "You did say he would be here, right?" She asked her daughter and Penelope nodded.

"Whom do you speak of?" Colin asked politely, waiting for Portia's response.

"Lord Debling, of course." Portia said shortly. "Although you're a sweet boy, your presence might have scared him away."

"That would be a shame." Colin turned his gaze to Penelope. "Have you been approached by any other gentlemen? Perhaps I can help you."

Penelope shook her head. "I think the dances have helped as much as they're going to. I found I haven't had an interest in any of them in return. A few have spoken to me but I haven't found one of the usual ton members to be potential candidates."

"Did you need any help with talking with them?" Colin dug deeper.

"I found battle armor has helped on that front as well. I have never felt more witty in my life." Penelope smiled widely, proud in herself. "Had to bat a few off once they realized I was more than an insipid mute."

Colin nodded. "I've, of course, always known that." If anyone had overheard them throughout the years, they would have known that too. "Good on you, Pen, honestly." He patted her hand on the crook of his arm and then seemed to realize something in what she said. "You have found someone outside the usual set interesting?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Penelope checked. "Perhaps I need to be a bit more obvious, use my fan to signal my interest. Although I thought we spoke pretty plainly to each other, maybe others are the ones who don't see it." Which would be pretty normal for the course of her life, and maybe it was better only Lord Debling seemed aware of her interest. She didn't want the likes of Cressida fighting her for his attention, she feared she would lose against the wealth, title and beauty of the tall thin blond. Cressida would do it solely to ensure Penelope lost, even if she had no interest in marrying him. She just needed to pull his attention from Penelope for long enough for the season to end.

"I was aware of his interest, I hadn't known it was returned." Colin's words were slightly clipped. "You haven't expressed interest in any male of the ton in all the years I've known you."

"No one has been interesting enough."

"All this talk of interest and yet the object of conversation is nowhere to be found." Portia cut in, they hadn't realized she could hear them and Penelope turned slightly red in embarrassment. It was one thing to dangle the carrot in front of Portia, it was another to confirm that Penelope was willing to go along with it fully. Portia would have all sorts of ideas on how to arrange unexpected meetings.

Penelope was kind of surprised that her mother was pushing for this arrangement, she had lamented having no one take care of her in her old age if Penelope ever married. Although, a Viscount's income would yield a wonderful allowance for his mother-in-law. Penelope just assumed he was the oldest or only child of his family, she would have to inquire further. She knew he was eager to get out of the market as soon as he could, wanting to be settled with a wife before heading off to go save another species of animals. She knew it would be a very isolated life as his wife when he was gone but she didn't know more than that. She didn't know if she was to be forced to stay long times alone or if it was just a benefit that she could utilize while she wrote and discard when she wanted to see others.

She assumed there would be fondness and closeness between them when he was home. Perhaps more activities and outings than she could manage on her own. She wondered if he'd ever think about bringing her with him. Although, as she swatted at a bug floating around her head, she knew England was lucky in how little they had to deal with them. They were also not as dangerous as a lot of bugs that existed in the world. Besides, she wasn't as fond of the great outdoors as many others. Still, while he went deep into the woods, perhaps she could wander the streets of the closest town?

"Perhaps you should make yourself scarce, Lord Bridgerton. He may not approach if she appears already occupied." Portia was just on that edge of rude.

"Mama!" Penelope didn't want to send Colin away and she tightened her hold on his arm. "That is no way to talk to my friend and a lord. He has done nothing wrong."

"If Lord Debling is scared off by my presence, he is not a very strong willed man then. He would not be worthy of Penelope's attention."

"Oh, there's Eloise!" Penelope tried to break through the awkwardness that formed all of a sudden between the three of them. "Is she with Cressida?"

Elosie was in fact standing with Cressida, Eloise looked incredibly uncomfortable and was swatting at more bugs than were probably around her head. Then she started to fan herself before she spotted someone else. "Lord Debling!" She called over with desperation in her voice and Lord Debling went over to chat with the two of them.

Penelope swayed a little into Colin. "Look how sweet he is! He's gone to Eloise's rescue even though he doesn't know her at all. He saw a lady in need and he's helping her out!"

"He knows my sister is close friends with you, he's probably only doing it to receive high praise when she shares the moment with you later." Colin said more coldly than Penelope had ever heard him and she craned her head back to look up at him. He seemed to catch his odd behavior and he offered her a charming, disarming smile. "Winning favor is never a misstep, is it?" There was still a rigidness in his body even though he attempted to mask it, he just wasn't able to completely relax again.

"I don't know..." Penelope watched the three interact, Eloise was more animated now that she wasn't stuck with Cressida on her own and Cressida was flirting hard. It wasn't quite with Lord Debling, as he didn't seem to be flirting back but he was being polite and seemed to be able to hold a conversation with her. Her mother hadn't caught sight of him yet, even though Penelope had drawn all their attention in that direction. Her mother assumed she was just talking about her friend and ignored the small group to continue looking for the man of the hour.

"Let's go check out the hot air balloon exhibit, perhaps we'll have better luck in the tent?" At this distance the hot air balloon itself was visible and quite a bit larger than Penelope had expected. She was a little hesitant to go closer, uncertain how safe it was or what to expect.

Her mother on the other hand latched onto the plan. "Of course, let's go there."

"Colin." Penelope spoke quietly so her mother couldn't hear her. "Why did you suggest this? You know where Lord Debling is."

The more steps they took away from Lord Debling, the more relaxed Colin was. "So do you, yet you did not protest the idea."

Penelope frowned, that was true enough. She could have easily told her mother where Lord Debling was and stop Cressida from speaking to him for any length of time. The reason she and her mother were out here was because of Lord Debling, and yet she had chosen to spend more private time with Colin. She needed to stop choosing Colin first, he wasn't going to choose her, and she was ruining her prospects to marry a good man. Penelope opened her mouth to say that she spotted Lord Debling and to turn her mother around but Colin placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her into the tent and her thoughts dissipated into mist.

He did not remove his hand from the small of her back although it was completely scandalous, even touching of bare hands would have been frowned at. The tent was dark enough though with the lights directed toward the objects and information printed out. He could leave his hand there and only the most eagle-eyed and keen viewer would see it. There were a lot of bodies in the tent and even then they'd have to been looking for it. If they did, it could be easily forgiven as a protective action of a young lady or since it was Colin and Penelope, just two childhood friends forgetting themselves. It just didn't feel like an innocent childhood friendship touch. If felt far older, far more adult and intimate than even the rare tussles they had as children, always Eloise's fault of course.

Penelope had a hard time focusing on anything being said by the man who had built the hot air balloon. She was vaguely aware that Colin wasn't the only Bridgerton in the room now but they didn't even greet each other. Benedict was far more interested in the mechanics and a pretty blond who was challenging him intellectually.

The only things she was really hearing was Colin's voice and catching a few words here and there, for some reason his words became the most interesting and most important words ever said. When had his voice gotten so deep?

Penelope was starting to overheat and she wasn't sure if it was from the room or Colin's body heat which seemed far more encompassing than it ever had before. "Excuse me." She murmured before pushing her way out of the tent and into the marginally cooler day. The wind was picking up, cooling her off faster than it would have prior to entering the tent. It was still uncomfortably humid but the wind did wonders.

"Pen?" Colin followed after her in concern and she turned to him to reassure him that she was all right. It had just been too hot and claustrophobic in the tent, when in truth, she felt like she was going to betray herself and her feelings at any moment.

She started to say the former, only getting out that it had been a bit too warm for her when another voice called her name.