Elizabeth Bennet
Longbourn, Hertfordshire
Enduring her mother's scoldings had been perhaps the worst part of the day, but knowing that Mr. Darcy had been there for her great embarrassment had perhaps topped it off in the most painful way. The man already did not like her, and she had appeared at much less than her best, turning down an offer of marriage of all things, in front of near-strangers.
It had only been when her father had rescued her, wrapped her in a blanket and sat her in his study for tea had she been restored to her proper self.
"I could not marry him, Papa," she said quietly as she stared into the fireplace. "You must know that if I had thought in any way that I could perhaps be move to love him, I would have, you must know that."
She looked up at where her father was standing by the fireplace, an impassive expression on his face. Then he nodded and sank down to his knees slowly, a groan escaping his lips as he did. He took one of her hands in his and glanced up at her. In his face she saw salvation, kindness, forgiveness.
"While your mother may not see it, the match of you two would never have worked. It was not to be, and I would not see my beloved Lizzy miserable for the rest of her days for the sake of a house," he said with a slow shake of his head. Her heart skipped and she put her tea down, embracing him. He held her tightly as she sobbed, tears running down her cheeks. It was as if she were a small girl again, curling up against him after a fearful dream had called him from his bed and to her side.
"But Longbourn will be entailed away from us-"
"Hush," he comforted her with a gentle pat on the top of her head. "Do not think of it now. There will be other answers. Jane looks to marry well, I am sure of it, and Mr. Darcy feels that his son could make an excellent match with one of you. I am no matchmaker, dressed in veils and crying out my skills at the town market, but I do know that we shall be fine. All will be well in time." Mr. Bennet sat back and eased her down into her seat again.
"Oh how can you be so calm, in the face of all that is to happen?" she asked, barely able to get air into her lungs. He fixed her with a stern look.
"Do not vex yourself. Breathe, girl, for fretting over this will not change the position of the stars in the sky." He sighed and stood, pacing the room.
"I feel I should suggest to Mr. Darcy, the elder, that he wait until I have Jane settled with Mr. Collins-"
"Mr. Collins!"
"Well, if she has no other offer, she will not refuse it. I cannot make her refuse it, even if it against my wishes she marry the addle-pate," he said with a low growl. Elizabeth stared up at her father.
"Surely, Papa, you cannot think she would accept-"
"Unlike you, she carries the burden of familial duty more closely to her heart, a fact I greatly regret in this moment, I assure you."
Elizabeth stared down at her hands and then pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders. No, Jane could not marry Mr. Collins.
"But what of Mr. Bingley-" she tried, but he interrupted her yet again.
"He has not come to even speak to me. They shared a few dances, Lizzy, that is not the basis for a full proposal, and as young as you are, you still should know that." Mr. Bennet walked to the window and looked out of it.
"Mr. Collins will be at me again in the morning, and he wishes to make a wife of one of my two eldest girls. Since you will not have him, then Jane remains his open avenue. He will offer for her, and there is nothing I can do to stop it." Mr. Bennet's hands went to grasp the window sill, his fingers going white with the pressure he exerted. Elizabeth had never seen her father so angry, it was unusual for him to be anything other than mildly displeased or perhaps distracted by some new book he had acquired. But now he seemed to be distressed, his feelings boiling over as if they could not be contained by his skin.
She stood and went to him, pressing up into his side. He looked down at her, surprise lining his face.
"Papa," she said, and then fell silent, opening one of her arms to wrap the blanket around him. His frown melted away and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his own arm coming to curl around her shoulders.
"Ah Lizzy, I am pleased you did not accept Mr. Collins, as much as your mother rails at me for it," he said softly. "I could not stand to lose you so soon."
She inhaled the soapy scent of his clothes, and the bitter gall of ink that clung to the edges of his smell.
"Jane will see sense, and not marry Mr. Collins either," she said in a small voice, although she did not half believe her words.
"Your mother will lay abed for days, moaning that fact if it comes to pass," Mr. Bennet commented and then he let out a great breath, his chest deflating under the thin band of her arm. "But Jane is sensible, and so she will marry Mr. Collins and put paid to any hope of love in her future. No, my dear, I fear for my daughters, every one of you, that sense will prevail and you will choose the path of least resistance."
"And what of you, did you choose sense as you think we would, or did you choose your heart?" Lizzy asked, feeling indignant that he thought so little of their strength, looking up at him. He looked out of the window, his throat tightening as he swallowed.
"I followed my heart, perhaps while I have many regrets, the produce of my choice… you, your sisters? I do not count you among the disappointments of my life's efforts." He blinked for a moment, and she felt her own heart squeeze at this rare display of affection and pride in her father.
"Papa," she said and felt the urge to blink back tears as well. Seeing the moisture gather in the corners of her eyes, he sighed, turning her into his chest as he hugged her tight.
"It will be well, my sweet girl. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps you will choose your hearts, each and every one of you, and I shall go to my peace knowing that you are at the very least loved and loving, if not warm and safe," he said with another sigh. She tucked her head up under his chin and wondered why it had to be one and not the other, why she could not be both safe and loved all at once.
She stared out the window, across Longbourn's fields, but could find no answers there.
New chapters uploaded on Fridays, but you may find it in its entirety on Amazon now by searching for 'Nora Kipling - A Required Engagement'.