Back again and have Chapter 31 in the works! Enjoy another Chapter!

-MalMetal

CHAPTER 30: For Me to Bear

Legoshi swept the drama club room floor, his thoughts were still concerned with the book he read earlier. He filed through all of the symptoms over and over. He moved his arms in the same motion again and again. No matter how much he tried, all his thoughts swirled around those symptoms. Jack's question still wracks his brain until he hears a snap. Shards of finished wood lay helpless in Legoshi's hands, his hands trembling.

"...How much have I changed?"

"If it's any consolation, I think you changed for the better." Legoshi turned his head to see Riz standing in the doorway. "Sorry to surprise you, I was a little worried about you when you were spacing out while fixing the lights for rehearsal today. Are you okay?"

"Too much on my mind." Legoshi walked over to a corner and placed the broken broom behind some boxes.

"Mine too. Which leads to my next question. I was wondering if you wanted to study and have dinner sometime soon before midterms. I've learned a new recipe and I wanted you to try it first."

"Why me?"

"I never got to pay you back for taking up for me in the play and with midterms I thought we deserved a bit of a break before the storm."

"Sure. When do you want to do it?"

"A week from today should be good, around 7:30." Riz grinned as he entered a reminder into his phone.

"All right, I'll see you then." Legoshi saw his friend exit and watched another walk in. Juno, dressed in her school uniform smiled at him.

"Legoshi, are you okay?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You kept messing up your lines, what were you thinking about?" Juno's face drooped down into a frown.

"I asked first so you answer first." Legoshi reluctantly gave in.

"I read a book about devourers."

"Where'd you get your hands on that?"

"Do you remember the panda from the Black Market?"

"Panda? You mean the one I saw you and Bill with?"

"Mhm, he gave it to me." Juno frowned again.

"Why'd you read it?" Legoshi sighed again, this time out of discomfort.

"To learn. No matter how much I dislike or hate those types of beasts, I have to learn about them as much as I can." Legoshi's voice and body radiated a cold determination. Flashes of Tem play over and over again in his mind. Haru's face mixes in and so do signs of concern in Jack's voice. Juno's hand on his arm brought him back from the barrage of thoughts.

"You can talk to me." Juno's words hugged Legoshi but he pushed their caring arms away.

"I just need some time to process it." Legoshi faked a grin that Juno couldn't bring herself to fight against.

"Okay, I guess it's only right to tell you what happened to me." Juno's voice wavered about before she sat down and patted the floor next to her. Legoshi sat at her behest ready to listen. "This morning I got the Beastar candidacy, but it wasn't how I wanted to get it."

"Did Louis recommend you?"

"How'd you know?"

"I saw him yesterday, he looked like he was up to something I just couldn't tell. Honestly, I was thinking about something else but it was a matter of time before he left his candidacy behind too. Whatever he's up to, it's not good." Legoshi looked straight ahead, his sorrow on full display. "Sorry, I made this about someone else. Go ahead, I won't interrupt again."

"You're fine. I'm glad you're being more open with me." Juno sighed.

"Anyway, not only did he recommend me but things were complicated. I was scared to tell my parents about it. I didn't want to. Despite that I still told them, then I cried. I still don't know if they were good or bad tears. The more I thought about them the more and more I thought about my childhood. I think I found the reason why I cried. This dream of becoming a Beastar shouldn't have been mine to begin with. It was meant to be my older sister's."

"Juno, it's time to get up." The young wolf rolled over in her bed ignoring her sister. Hera's eyes narrow then looks at the room around her. Multi-colored pens, notebooks, family pictures, and textbooks decorate a black desk. A bookcase filled with romance novels about wolves finding true love. To Hera's left was a bedstand alarm clock that read 7:30 am, a lamp, and another picture of her and Juno. Upon closer inspection, Hera realized how her fur color changed from a muted purple to her father's more subdued blue color and her snout had grown a bit since her younger days too. Reminiscing on her younger years she let out a yawn. She'd been up for thirty minutes already and wasting more time on her Juno wasn't on her agenda.

"Time to get up brat!" Hera pulled Juno by her ear into her arms.

"Mmm… why'd you do that? I was gonna get up in a little while."

"Quit complaining. We've got school." Juno sighed and buried her face in Hera's chest.

"I hope my chest is this soft when I grow up."

"No, you don't," Hera said.

"Why not?"

"Because you'll attract parasitic younger sisters who'll wanna use your boobs as a pillow." Juno looked up at her sister, annoyed.

"I'm not a parasite, I'm your smart little sister." Juno wrapped her arms around Hera's waist which led to Hera dragging her off the bed, still, she found Juno adorable and let out a chuckle. It took some doing but eventually, Juno got dressed and the two made it downstairs. Juno was dressed in her junior high school uniform while Hera had her senior high school uniform.

"Morning Mom! Morning Dad!" Juno's parents happily greeted her but Hera did not exchange similar pleasantries.

"Good morning Hera, how are you feeling?" Her mother asked.

"Just fine, how about you two?" Hera's voice carried a dismissive tone.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Hera rolled her eyes at her father's concern.

"Not today." Hera's reply is curt.

"There's no need to take that tone with your father!"

"After the two of you ganged up on me last night? Fat chance."

"Can we not do this in front of Juno?" Hera's mother asked.

"Like you care. Grandma could hear both of you from her grave the way you were yelling." Juno's father put his fork down and looked at her. The young wolf looks to her sister before leaving the kitchen, unbeknownst to her family she sits halfway up the stairway so she can continue listening.

"What's wrong with what we talked about last night?" Juno's father asked.

"You keep trying to tell me how my life is meant to go. I control how it goes, not you!"

"What we're trying to do is push you to your full potential. Going to Cherryton was going to do that! Now your best chance to get ahead is participating more at school and outside programs!" Juno's mother interjected.

"You're not listening, I told you I don't want to do it your way!" Juno's mother stood from her chair until her husband's hand softly touched her shoulder.

"Calm down Minerva. Hera, all we've told you to do is for your own good-"

"Listen to me for once in your lives! I don't care about what you think is good for me! The future you want isn't what I want! I don't care about Cherryton, I don't care about programs! I don't want to be what you've dreamt me to be! I'm seventeen years old at the end of my second year! To hell with all of this Beastar crap, I've never wanted to be any of that. Never have, never will." Hera's voice pulled Juno down the stairs to listen closer, her father let out a tired sigh.

"What kind of example are you setting for Juno by rebelling against your parents?" Juno's father stood from his seat and walked toward Hera. "You have no plan, you eat our food, and live under our roof. Why can't you just listen to us?" Hera made eye contact with her father. Their gray eyes see a fire in one another that refuses to flicker or waiver.

"Because Apollo, I'm not your fucking dog." Apollo slapped his daughter across her face. Hera staggers back to take in what happened, her cheek stung and felt hot to the touch. She looks at her father with uncertain eyes.

"You may not be my dog but you are still my pup and I won't let you disrespect me or your mother when we are trying to give you a prosperous future! You're a blessed child who's gotten too big in her head for her own good-" Apollo stopped after seeing his daughter's face, and a wave of regret hit him. He raised his hand but Hera slapped it away.

"This isn't for me. This is all for both of you. All because you two are complete failures at your dreams." Hera turned from her parents and headed for the front door. Her parents couldn't object to her words or steps, her eyes were hidden but Juno saw them.

"After that day my family never had a real meal together, outings and even birthdays felt fragmented. When Hera moved out I felt my parents pressure more and more. I… hated it." Juno connected the pieces in her mind.

"I think that is when it all started. I couldn't bring myself to talk to her after she moved out. We didn't speak to each other until I was fifteen. My parents didn't want me near her or turn out like her, so they…" Juno's mind turns its gears and she looks down at her hands with a sense of disgust.

"Th-they turned me against her so I could become what they wanted. I hated her for no reason, that's why she left. She didn't want to be what they wanted her to be. If she knew, why didn't she come back for me?"

"You know why," Legoshi responded.

"... She wanted me to stay in a stable place where I could have an actual life. She couldn't have given me anything better than what mom and dad could give me… I love my sister… but my anger towards her even after understanding this, I can't. I can't let it go."

"You're not supposed to recover immediately or understand everything all at once. It takes time." Legoshi's eyes soften towards his friend.

"Take all the time you need, I'll be beside you waiting until you do." Juno's eyes become glassy, her mouth arcs down, and a slight whimper comes out as she hugs Legoshi.

"Thank you." The wolf hugged her back. A few seconds pass and Juno gets a grip on her emotions. She released Legoshi, wiping her eyes.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." Legoshi avoids eye contact but his tail softly wags behind him. Juno giggles at him which he ignores to save himself the embarrassment. She looks at the clock over the club's doors noticing there's still a lot of time before she has to get back to her room.

"Hey, tell me something really personal about you." Juno's voice still trembled a bit.

"Huh? Why? My life really isn't that interesting." Juno looked at the wolf sideways.

"Disregarding that obvious lie, why don't you tell me about how you met that panda in the Black Market?"

"Him? There's not much to tell."

"Please?"

"Eh…"

"Pretty please?" Juno batted her eyes at him.

"Fine but it's a really long story, all right?"

"I've got more than enough time!" Juno sat back and prepared herself to know more. Despite the time they'd spent together, she still knew less than she should about Legoshi.

"Keep this between us."

"What is it?"

"This past summer I ate meat in the Black Market." Juno was at a loss for words.

"That isn't something you should joke about."

"It isn't a joke, I did."

"You're serious?" Legoshi nodded.

"I gave into temptation so I could feel more at home with other carnivores. I hated myself for doing it. I couldn't look myself in the mirror for a few days. My tastebuds were completely dull to any food for a week and I saw it."

"It?"

"My instincts, outside of my body. It was a mass of black scribbles, it looked like me and didn't. I couldn't begin to understand it, the side of me meant to eat herbivores." Legoshi looked at the mirror in front of him, trying to see who was there looking back at him.

"I've seen something like that too. It had red eyes and whispered into my ear when I chased after you and Bill that night. I can still hear its voice. Go on Junie, let's be like real carnivores."

"Juno, never eat meat in your life. No matter what happens, don't do it. That thing you saw is forever a part of you but that doesn't mean you should let it control you." Juno gave Legoshi a blank stare.

"I already know not to eat meat." Legoshi gave Juno a similar blank stare back.

"Oh, right. Well, I've gotta get going, homework I have to finish." Juno grabbed Legoshi's tail, stopping him in his tracks.

"Tell me the story first."

"Why? I told you something personal about me already."

"Because I asked you too and you said you would tell me, now sit down!" Legoshi sighed aloud and got comfortable on the floor once again. He searched his mind to establish a starting point for his sudden meeting with the Guardian of the Black Market.