JENNIE

..

I turned around and thumped Lisa on the top of her head. "This is not keeping it a secret, you bastard!"

"But look at his face. It's worth it." She grinned, staring at Jimin.

All right.

It was kind of funny.

Jimin looked somewhat like he'd just been punched in the face and the balls simultaneously, but the pain hadn't quite hit yet, so he was hovering somewhere in the shock phase.

"What… What the fuck is that?" He gripped the arms of the chair and pushed himself up. "Let go of her right now!"

"A sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with," I said, reaching for the mouse. "But in my experience, she won't."

Jimin stomped over to us. "What is this?"

I leant to the side. "Just mind my face when you punch her."

"Hey!" Lisa spun the chair, putting me between her and Jimin. "Why are you all right with him punching me?"

I peeked back at her. "I just punched you," I pointed out.

"You're allowed to punch me."

"Can I hit you with a box file?"

"If you really want to."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"Are you two… flirting… right now?" Jimin took a step back, wrinkling his face up. "Wait, Jen… Is this why you weren't interested in Alex at Mum's party?"

Lisa's fingers twitched against my hip.

"Shh," I said to my cousin, putting a finger to my lip. "That name upsets her."

Jimin squinted. "Nothing explains what the fuck is going on."

I sighed. "Jimin. You're a smart man. What do you think is going on?"

"It looks like you're in a relationship, but the Lisa I know is a heartless prick, and the Jennie I know complains about that at least ten times a day." He pointed between us. "So, what the fuck is this?"

"What it is, is supposed to be a secret," I said dryly, pinching the back of Lisa's hand.

"Ouch!" She flinched. "I deserve that. He's the fourth person I've accidentally told today."

"Acciden—fourth?" I turned on her lap, planted my hands against her chest, and glared at her. "What do you mean, he's the fourth person you've told today?"

Lisa peered over at Jimin. "Help me."

My cousin shook his head, holding up his hands in defeat. "Absolutely not. You're on your own, pal."

"You." I gripped Lisa's shoulder tightly. "Explain. Now."

"It was Gramps' fault!" she said quickly. "He and Dad coerced me into telling the truth, and Cassidy overheard."

Hmph.

That wasn't her fault, but it did mean my conversation with the duke at the end of the week just became a thousand times more awkward.

"Don't worry. Cassidy's going to make sure they don't tell anyone," Lisa added.

"Why would I be worried about them? We're four hours into our first day back, and you've already spilled the beans to four different people. All within the same hour. It's you I'm worried about." I flicked her forehead, then turned and located the file. "That's the file you need. Now, let me go, so I can go back to work. I have too much to do for your games, ma'am."

"Fine." Lisa reluctantly let go of me, and I got up, adjusting my skirt so it wasn't crumpled. "Can you send that report over to PR?"

"Who do you want it to?" I asked Jimin.

He cocked his head. "Send it to Louie."

"Not him," Lisa grumbled. "He was in here earlier flirting with you."

I stopped at the door and looked over my shoulder. "Get over it. Ma'am."

"Adding 'ma'am' on the end still doesn't make it nice, Jen."

"It was never supposed to." I grinned and opened the door, throwing my hand up in a goodbye. "I'll send it over now."

I closed the door behind me and walked back to my desk, slumping down in my chair. I sank my fingers into my hair and groaned as I dropped my forehead to the desk.

That idiot.

That absolute idiot.

I should have known her grandfather would find out—that man could get blood out of a stone and was the kind of person you'd want interrogating a criminal. If he wanted to find something out, there was nothing he wouldn't do to achieve that goal, and his family were particularly weak to it.

I should have known that total secrecy was impossible the moment Lisa left to meet her grandfather and father.

And then she'd just done that in her office in front of Jimin.

I was never, ever going to hear the end of this.

Jimin going on at me about this relationship was the last thing I needed, in all honesty. My mind was completely jumbled—I'd managed to use the board meeting as an excuse to delay my final decision about my resignation, but it didn't mean I was actually any closer to doing that.

I had no idea what I wanted to do anymore.

The last six weeks had changed everything. I'd never hated working here. I'd never hated my job. I'd just hated working for Lisa, but even that was different now.

I didn't want to admit it out loud, but I was wondering if it was impossible to imagine not working with her.

I was so used to being with her every second of the day, and that was almost literal over the past two weeks. Ever since we'd returned to Buckley Heath from our flying visit home for Aunt Fizz's party, we'd been practically inseparable.

Her bedroom had become our room. The evenings that had once been spent quietly apart doing our own thing had become quality chill time together where she'd catch pixel fish and I'd pet pixel chickens.

Never had I ever imagined I'd have nightly cosy gaming sessions with Lisa, but the whole evolution of our relationship had been strange to me, so it was just one of those things.

I'd also never imagined that I'd be figuring out what the fuck to do with my life at my age.

I'd always thought I'd have it planned out, but didn't everyone? It wasn't like I was about to have an identity crisis, but everything I'd been planning for the last God only knew how long was going up in smoke all because of my heart.

Because I didn't know if I really wanted to leave Lisa at all.

"Jennie. Jennieeeee," Jimin sang from somewhere remarkably close to me.

I raised my head up and saw his face mere inches from mine.

"Hi." He grinned. "Are you taking a nap?"

"I'm having an existential crisis," I replied.

"Sounds about right. Wanna have one over lunch instead?"

"Can't. I'm the only one here."

"The boss said to turn on the answering machine and go." He cocked his thumb towards Lisa's office. "I told her I'd bring something back for her."

I glanced at her office door. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not about to lie to you, am I? She'd cut off my head if I lied to you before, never mind now."

That was true.

"You're going to ask me a hundred questions, aren't you?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"Don't worry." He reached over and patted my head. "I'll be much nicer to you than I was to her."

..

"So, you were together the whole time?" Jimin raised his eyebrows. "That's surprisingly."

"Not the whole time," I replied. "Things sort of happened before I came back for Aunt Fizz's party, but for the last two weeks… yeah, it's a bit like that."

He narrowed his eyes. "That means it only took three weeks for you to go from her number one hater to her lover. That's a twist I didn't expect."

"Do you have to use the word 'lover?' It makes it sound like we're doing something illicit."

"Some people might think so." He paused. "Did she tell you?"

"About her ex?" I nodded. "It's one of the reasons we're keeping it secret. Well, I'm keeping it a secret."

"I don't think me, Alastair, Charles, and Cassidy count."

"They count. It all happened without my consent." I sniffed, propping my chin up on my hand. "I knew it would happen, but still. It's just all a bit of a mess right now."

"A mess? What do you mean?"

"What did she tell you?" I curled my pinkie finger down to the corner of my mouth and gently bit down on my nail. "Like… About our relationship."

Jimin eyed me sceptically. "Shouldn't you be asking her that?"

"Well, things are a mess in my head, and you're her best friend. She'll tell you different things than me, right? Just like I'd talk differently to Jisoo."

"Jennie." He sighed. "Let me ask you this: are you going to resign still?"

I looked away, turning my attention to the people walking past outside. It was a grey, gloomy day befitting the early British summertime, and the weather only served to match my mood.

Grey.

Gloomy.

A little bit hopeless.

"That's what you need to figure out first," Jimin said quietly. "Because you both need to be on the same page. For what it's worth, I don't think it'll matter either way to Lisa, nor would she ever ask you resign just for the sake of a relationship."

"That… isn't what I'm worried about."

"You think she'll end things because of her anxieties?"

"Maybe. I wouldn't blame her if she did. I can't imagine how difficult it was to go through what she went through at the other company. I wouldn't want her to do anything that would subject herself to rumours."

"I think her ending things with you is the least likely possibility. Do you genuinely not know that she's head over heels for you?"

I looked back at Jimin. "I think that's an exaggeration."

"All right, you really don't know." He snorted. "I think she'd rather date you in secret for the rest of her life than end things."

"That…" I paused. "You might actually be right. She's surprisingly soft."

"Soft? Lisa?"

"Yeah. Like a marshmallow. She's soft and squishy." I made little squeezing motions with my hands. "It surprised me at first, too, but she's a total teddy bear."

"I'm equal parts intrigued and terrified by what you just said."

I understood that. I'd felt the exact same way at first.

"Either way, you need to tell her how you're feeling. If you're in a relationship, you'll find it much easier if you do this thing called communication."

"Yes, thank you, Jimin Park," I muttered. "I know that. I guess I'm just a bit scared to bring it up, knowing how she feels. I don't want her to think that I… Ugh. That I was leaving for a job where I could be more successful and now am only staying because we're starting something."

Jimin leant forwards on the table. "She won't. She knows you better than that, Jen. You're not that kind of person. And if she accuses you of it, I'll break her kneecaps."

"I can do that by myself."

"We'll take one each." He grinned. "Look, you two will figure it out. I can't say I ever pictured you in a relationship with one another, but somehow, it makes sense."

"Really? Even I think it's ridiculous."

"Oh, it's ridiculous, but it makes sense." Jimin laughed, knocking his foot against mine under the table. "And think of it this way: you know you can make any kind of relationship work, because you've both worked and lived together already. You've even worked from home while living together."

He had a point. We'd already cleared a hurdle that would usually come years down the line for most couples and lived to tell the tale.

"You're right. We just need to talk. I mean, I'm sitting here talking about a relationship, but we never actually said it. What if I'm just here thinking that she's my girlfriend but she's actually not?"

Jimin blinked at me. "You're stupid. Both of you. A stupid, stupid couple."

"I'm going to tell Aunt Fizz you're being mean to me." I sniffed. "Fine. I'll sit her down and talk to her tonight."

"Why don't you invite her over?"

I made a little cross with my fingers. "I live in the company building. I'm trying to keep what's going on between us a secret, not broadcast it to everyone who works at LLOUD."

"I didn't think about that." He tapped his hand against the table. "Then you'll have to go to her place."

"Good idea." I pulled my phone out of my bag and tapped out a message to Lisa. "Done."

"Wait, what did you do?"

"I told her we need to talk so I'm going to her place after work."

Jimin stared at me, then pressed his hands to his face. "You said you need to talk. After work. At her place."

"Yes. What's wrong with that? It's the truth."

"Oh, Jennie. My dear, dear, Jennie." He reached over and took my hand, still keeping one of his over his eyes. "You are so smart. So talented. So capable. But such a complete idiot when it comes to relationships."

I looked from our hands to my phone screen and reread my message to Lisa. "Oh."

"Yes, oh. She's going to be losing her mind in the office right now."

"Hold on." I took back my hand and quickly tapped out a message, but she'd already replied.

THE BASTARD: JENNIE????

THE BASTARD: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE NEED TO TALK????

THE BASTARD: TAKE IT BACK RIGHT NOW.

Ah.

Yeah.

There was the losing her mind part.

ME: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

ME: I WASN'T THINKING.

ME: DON'T PANIC.

THE BASTARD: It seems like you're the one panicking right now.

ME: I didn't think about how you'd take what I was saying until Jimin pointed it out.

THE BASTARD: Jesus. How much are you telling him?

ME: Just enough that I still have something to blackmail you with.

ME: Don't worry, I haven't told him about your sock collection yet.

THE BASTARD: He knows. He buys me a pair every Christmas.

ME: Damn it.

THE BASTARD: As long as it's nothing bad. But are you sure you want to come all the way to mine?

ME: Yeah. I don't want anyone to see you at mine.

THE BASTARD: Ah. Of course.

THE BASTARD: I'm warning you, though. If you walk into my place, you're not leaving until tomorrow morning.

ME: I guess I'll swing by my place first and get some clothes.

THE BASTARD: Good girl.

My cheeks flushed at those two magic words, and I quickly shoved my phone in my bag before Jimin could see it.

"Gross," he muttered.

Never mind. "That's your fault for peeking, you nosy git."

"Why do you still have her saved as The Bastard in your phone?"

I smiled. "Nostalgia."

"You keep forgetting to change it, don't you?"

"That, and there's every chance I'd not realise it was her if I changed it to her actual name. I'm somewhat conditioned to answer her calls under The Bastard."

Jimin blinked. "Just let me know if you ever need me to help you escape her clutches."

"You say it like she's laid a meticulously planned trap to ensnare me and make me fall for her."

"She might have. We don't know that."

"I'd like to think she'd have been a bit nicer and more respectful of my free time if she was trying to seduce me all this time."

He nodded. "Good point."

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