"Wha? What do you mean you don't have a date to prom?" Paulo exclaimed, genuinely surprised at Amaya. "You're like…" He ate a fry out of the bag of food the two were sharing. "...the cutest girl in the school…"
His face flushed as he forced the last part out. Not because he didn't mean it, just that it was a bit of an embarrassing thing to admit. The blush across the Somali's cheeks reflected a sincerity in his words that was absent whenever he engaged in his usual, empty charm and flirtation.
Amaya let out a startled noise, an odd sound that was something between a laugh and squeak. Suddenly a bit self-conscious, the tabby tried to play it off by looking away and taking a sip of their drink, courtesy of their family's cinema they worked at. It was the least they could offer Amaya, since a late night shift working the register wasn't exactly the teen's first choice to spend a Friday evening. After taking a satisfying sip of their root beer, they glanced back at Paulo. He had his ears flattened, elbows on the counter, and hands cupping his cheeks to support his head. And he was wearing that dorky Burger Tron uniform of his.
Though it's not like I can talk, they thought idly as they considered their own silly-looking theater uniform.
In response to Paulo's outburst, Amaya simply shrugged, intending something along the lines of 'I dunno. It's no big deal.'
"Yeah, well. You should at least come! We'd miss you, y'know." Paulo pushed the issue as he leaned further across the counter. After the shit their entire friend group had been through this past year, he was going to make sure they all had a nice prom, come hell or high water. Yes, even if he had to pout and whine and make a scene right here in the middle of Amaya's place of work.
Before Amaya could consider what Paulo was saying, their eyes shifted up and slightly behind him. Paulo followed their gaze to see two customers had walked up behind him, looking uncertainly at the two. They were older than the Somali and tabby. College students on a date, maybe?
"Is–uh–this line open?"
"...oh, sorry," Paulo mumbled as he grabbed his Burger Tron hat off the counter and stepped to the side to let Amaya do their thing. Absently, he wondered how the tabby was so good and efficient at a customer service job despite being mute most of the time. They managed quite well, though.
'Miss me..?' As they tapped away on the register and rang up the two moviegoers, the tabby processed what Paulo was saying before they were interrupted. Amaya liked this side of Paulo. It was sweet and thoughtful and open, even if a bit awkward and clumsy at times. Nevertheless, they were happy to know that Paulo trusted them enough to let his guard down that he kept up at school. And outside of school. And everywhere. Why he kept up that façade of bravado in the first place? They had no idea. Things would be simpler if he didn't. Sue wouldn't hate him at least, that's for sure. But…they supposed it was just complicated. People are complicated, and complicated things are delicate, and delicate things are best left alone. At least, that's how the tabby understood things.
The two had a nice friendship; one that blossomed seemingly out of nowhere, but still one that left Amaya feeling happy and warm on the inside. They weren't exactly sure how or why they'd started getting so tight. One evening, Paulo came by the theater when his shift ended. Amaya wasn't super surprised to see him, as he was somewhat of a regular at the theater. He mentioned something about how his dad was working late, and how he wasn't "ready to go home yet." Something like that, whatever that meant. It just struck Amaya as odd, as did his general disposition; it wasn't like Paulo, at least not the Paulo they knew. This Paulo seemed sort of…blue and melancholic?
At first, they were skeptical and leery of his intentions, figuring the Somali was just after some discounted movie tickets or a free popcorn or something. Sue didn't like or trust him, and that was good enough for Amaya to understand who this douchey hotshot was. Except, he never asked them for anything. And the conversations they had were nice, one-sided as they were. He helped pass the time, and occasionally made them smile and cheer up after a rough shift or day at school. The things that friends were supposed to do.
This just became their thing after a while; on Friday nights when both worked a closing shift, usually a good hour or so before Amaya was set free, Paulo would come in with a meal he may or may not have taken without permission. The two would share it and just…talk. Rarely ever did Paulo get a verbal answer, but he didn't seem to mind. He spoke enough for the two of them. The others in their friend group didn't know about it. Not because it was a secret or anything, no, it just didn't really concern them. This was their thing, their own little friendship, and it was nice.
Amaya printed off the customers' receipt, stacked their change on top, and handed it back to them, returning the 'thank you' from one of the customers with a smile and a wave. Paulo stepped back up to the counter to grab a handful of fries from the bag.
"I'm serious, though. Just because Sue is going out with that McCain guy doesn't mean you have to be all sad and alone on prom night." Amaya didn't acknowledge this, instead pointing at the leftover pickle slice on the wrapper they were using as a plate and giving an inquisitive look. "Hm? Oh, yeah, all yours." Paulo was slowly getting better at inferring the tabby's thoughts through simple gestures, which he was proud of.
"But come on, have you even asked anyone? C'monnn, you can tell me! Any boys catch your eye?" Paulo continued prodding with a smirk, either ignoring or missing the social cues. "Or…girls? …Which way do you swing again?"
Amaya looked at him, deadpan, before munching on the pickle slice. He's so lucky he's amusing, else I wouldn't keep him around, they thought in a playful manner.
"Ok, ok, I know I've told you before that you're 'basically a boy,' or whatever… But I was just messin' around! I get you're a girl. Not that I'm into you or anything, don't worry. Wait, shit, I mean… Not that I'm not into you, but, like, a girl like you could probably do wayyy better than me, y'know? Hey, just being self aware! Lucy says I need more of that, so…"
Paulo rambled on in his usual manner. Normally, Amaya wouldn't mind it at all.
Except…there it was again…girl. Amaya winced at that descriptor as he said it, though it wasn't Paulo's fault. How was he supposed to know? The only person in the world who knew Amaya's feelings about their gender was their best friend. Sue, of course, immediately accepted them for who they were. And why wouldn't she? They were the same person they were before, and their friendship was ironclad—forged by years of hardships, fun outings together, shared secrets, petty fights, hugs, and countless days of companionship. All things they simply didn't have with Paulo. Could they trust him with something so personal and sensitive? Something so delicate?
They were apprehensive, but…they wanted to trust the Somali. Despite all his past bullying behavior and abrasiveness, they wanted to give him a chance. For some reason, Amaya wanted him to know. They didn't want to hide something so important about their identity from him. They wanted him to be a true friend.
"Paulo, um…" Amaya finally managed to get a word in, immediately grabbing the Somali's attention. Should I tell him? What if he thinks it's stupid? What if he thinks I'm stupid? What if he laughs at me?! Amaya, who had been avoiding eye contact with Paulo, finally looked at him and was met with excitedly curious eyes. This was maybe the seventh time in the several years the two had known each other that Paulo had heard the selectively-mute tabby's voice.
"Yeah? What's up?" Paulo asked as he cocked his head slightly. Paulo, who usually had such jagged edges, was trying to be as soft as possible. Just looking at the anxious expression on the tabby's face told him that this wasn't exactly a joking matter. Although, a pit was forming in his stomach. He was worried he'd have to deal with some uncomfortable feelings.
Should I put my hand on hers? Daisy likes holding hands sometimes… No, no, that would be weird. Paulo knew he should do something to put Amaya at ease, though, noticing their tail tucked beneath them and ears folded back. He instead opted to hop up on the counter and slide across to the other side, closer to Amaya so they wouldn't have to project their voice as much. The tabby went wide-eyed at this. He put on the best reassuring face he could manage. "You can talk to me…if ya want." He smiled and winked.
The small stunt the Somali had just performed reminded Amaya of a scene from an action movie or something. A weak smirk tugged at the sides of their mouth as they broke eye contact, preferring to look down at the floor instead. Paulo was a…friend? Probably one of the closest in their life—a distant second to Sue, of course. Then again, that wasn't exactly saying much. In their mind, they could hear Sue's voice calling Paulo a good-for-nothing teenage dirtbag and bully. But now Amaya knew Paulo better than Sue. They'd seen him inadvertently show his real self over the past several months. At least, they hoped this was his real self.
The orange tabby breathed carefully as they gathered their nerves. They looked around to ensure there were no customers coming and that the coast was clear.
"Can we…talk outside for a moment?"
Paulo promptly nodded, collecting their food trash and depositing it in the trash can as Amaya grabbed his wrist and led him outside to the front of the cinema. The two leaned against the brick façade of the building, Paulo putting his foot up slightly for the added 'cool factor.' He looked sideways at the tabby, curiosity piqued.
"Paulo, are…are we friends..?" It was almost a whisper, but Paulo heard perfectly. A beat of silence followed.
"Uh...I sure thought so." Paulo felt a twinge of anxiety, unsure of where this was going.
"Like, really real friends?" Amaya asked softly, finally meeting Paulo's gaze.
"Yeah, dude. I, like, care about you! And stuff…" The tabby remained fixated on his eyes, trying to read him, and Paulo found it hard to keep eye contact. Amaya looked hesitant and guarded—more so than usual. "What's wrong..?"
Amaya could practically hear their best friend shouting, telling them that this was an insane idea. That he'll use this against them. That he'll hurt them.
…
But he wasn't hurting them now. Quite the contrary. He was doing everything he could to put them at ease. He'd hurt people before, yes.
But…
Amaya took another hard look at the Somali's face. His brows were furrowed in concern, but he still maintained that smile of his, as if he were trying to impart some of his confidence onto the tabby.
Sue could be wrong…right?
Amaya's heart hammered in their chest, and it felt as if time was slowing down. But something in Paulo's expression told them that this was the right time.
Screw it. Leap of faith, here goes nothing.
"Paulo… I'm not really…a girl." There was a horribly awkward pause, which Amaya quickly ended. "O-or a boy. I-I don't really want to be either, I guess. I dunno, it's weird. It probably doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry." Amaya rushed those last few sentences out, not even pausing for a breath. Their face was red and burning hot, they felt slightly lightheaded, and they didn't dare look at Paulo for several moments after.
The Somali stared at his tabby friend who looked ready to bolt. Paulo's ears were folded back in confusion. He was trying to compute what they had just told him, but seeing the strained expression on Amaya's face told him comfort now, understand later.
"Amaya, hey…" Paulo placed a comforting hand on their back, evoking a sharp inhale. Slowly, their body unstiffened and Amaya heaved a sigh, partly of relief and partly of embarrassment.
Paulo wasn't really good at queer stuff like this. He never cared to learn anything about it. Not until he had his own bisexual awakening, and even then it took Daisy holding his hand through it to just get him to admit he was bi. Heck, he'd spent most of his life bullying others for being gay.
Sometimes an intrusive thought or two would creep into Paulo's mind: a memory of the way he treated Matt, and the appalled looks Rachel gave him for it. As time went on, these memories became more shameful for the Somali, and he'd cringe whenever they popped into his mind. Even though he'd long made amends with Rachel and Matt, he just had a hard time forgiving himself.
But…here was Amaya, baring their soul and trusting him of all people with this. Why..?
Paulo realized he'd been staring. Amaya didn't notice though, as they were busy playing with their claws in a sort of anxious tick while awaiting his response. He should probably say something now.
"You've–uhm–been holding onto that for a while now, huh?" Paulo began. He was met with a nonchalant shrug, but he figured there was more behind it than Amaya let on. They still wouldn't look at him. He bit his lower lip hard.
The Somali searched desperately for something—anything—to say. But all of the words his brain found just seemed inadequate. Or wrong. He wasn't good at this, not like Daisy was; she could always find the words. She could make anyone cheer up just by being there. She just understood people, why they felt the things they did, and how to make it better. But Paulo was just…Paulo. He cracked stupid jokes, showed off, and occasionally lightened the mood. He wasn't built for this. The tabby spoke up in their soft, wispy voice, which snapped Paulo out of his thoughts.
"A-Anyways…sorry this was weird…" They shoved their hands into their pockets and looked up at the sky. "I guess I just wanted you to know, since…you want to be my friend. I'm all weird and wrong." Paulo's eyes narrowed as they continued. "I barely talk. Most of our friend group forgets I'm there most of the time," they giggled, but it sounded fake. Like they were trying to cover up something deeper. "I should get back." They started back towards the door, ears flat against their head. They looked…defeated.
Paulo wouldn't let them go like that. He couldn't. If he did, he'd be a failure. He'll have failed his friend.
What are you doing?! Paulo yelled internally. Say something! Do something! Literally anything!
Paulo's panic spiked, and he felt his tail puff up. Seemingly involuntarily, he called out after his retreating friend.
"Amaya, I–! I like boys!"
Paulo may have said that a touch too loudly, as a small group of people leaving the theater turned to look at him with a mix of confused and amused expressions. Paulo cringed and looked at the ground, hoping to God none of them were people he knew. Amaya's eyes were fixed on him with an expression of utter bewilderment.
"W-what I mean is…it's ok to be scared and embarrassed and confused and all that stuff you're feeling. I…think I felt the same way when I realized I had a crush on…" Paulo trailed off and cleared his throat. "A-anyways… you're not 'weird,' Amaya. Or, maybe you are, but so am I. And so is literally everyone. There's no such thing as 'normal…' Ya get what I mean?" The tabby was looking at him with large eyes. Paulo sighed, calming himself down a little. Maybe that got a little too intense.
"Just… I like you, Amaya. I don't care if you're a boy, or girl, or both, or neither, or whatever. You're my friend. All I care about is that you're happy. Ok?"
Amaya didn't respond. Neither verbally nor through body language. They just kept staring at him with an expression Paulo was unable to read. And then the reflection of the neon lights above them became wobblier and glassier in their eyes. Tearier.
His friend was crying.
Panic flashed over Paulo's face upon seeing tears welling up in Amaya's big brown eyes. They diverted their gaze back down to the concrete—a sight they were getting quite used to tonight—as the first tear ran down their cheek. They wiped it away quickly, and felt warm in the face. This was a mix of emotions the tabby had certainly never felt before: embarrassment, panic, relief, and…elation. Apparently, all those things mixed together was too much for Amaya, and it simply yielded tears.
Huh. Emotions are so odd, they pondered as they touched their cheek.
"A-Amaya! I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. P-Please don't cry! That was too far, I didn't mean to, I..!"
…Nothing. No words came to him. He'd learned that whenever stuff gets messy like this, he only makes it worse. Best to leave it to Daisy. She always knows best. But Daisy wasn't here.
Shit shit shit! What do I do?! The Somali thought to himself frantically. Should I leave? Let Sue fix the damage I've done? Damn it, Paulo, why did you have to get involved here? Why do you always fuck everything up? You stupid little fuck up!
Paulo's self hatred would have consumed him entirely if his worry about hurting his friend didn't take such precedence. He looked into their eyes again, but all he could see were the tears. He completely missed their look of shock and befuddlement at his desperate apology.
I should just leave, shouldn't I? Paulo concluded.
"I'm sorry." Paulo whispered one last lachrymose apology as he turned tail to get out of there. But he stopped in his tracks when he heard a faint voice call his name with distress. For a moment, he'd thought his mind made it up. Why would Amaya still want him? But he stayed frozen in place for a seemingly endless moment.
…
"Oof—!"
He turned around just in time to be nearly tackle-hugged by the tabby. Amaya embraced Paulo as wholly as their smaller form could and buried their face in his fluff, causing his breath to hitch and muscles to tense momentarily.
"Amaya, wha—?!"
"Paulo, stop," Amaya demanded. "You did nothing wrong. Promise." They squeezed him tighter. "Please, stay." The tabby smooshed their forehead against his chest.
Amaya wished they could put words to all the thoughts and feelings flying through their mind. They wished they could tell him what this meant to them. That he had just validated them, made them feel wanted, understood them. Unfortunately, a million words couldn't explain how Amaya felt right now, in this moment. And words weren't really their thing; they didn't have many words to begin with. So, as they always do, the tabby found a way to speak that didn't require speech. A way to communicate all these feelings and more to Paulo. They wrapped their tail around their friend so they could further embrace each other.
Paulo dropped his guard fully. He pulled the striped cat in closer and rested his cheek against the top of their head, between their ears. He felt their grip on him tighten slightly. Paulo purred involuntarily at this, to his embarrassment. Still, the two stayed like this for what felt like a minute, and Amaya's sniffles became more occasional as they listened to the rhythmic purring from their friend's chest.
The two could have stayed like this all night.
…
Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice called out, "Amaya, are you out here? Y'know, you can't just leave the front whenev—"
A larger tabby, similar in color to Amaya, burst out the front entrance, evidently looking for the very dork Paulo currently had his arms wrapped around. Paulo's eyes shot open at this intrusion, and he looked at the newcomer with a bashful and humiliated expression.
"Oh…kay! Sorry for interrupting, then!" The adult tabby said, and speed-walked back into the building cringing, plenty aware of the awkwardness that situation caused everyone involved.
The two immediately broke up the embrace and stared at each other with wide, mortified eyes, as if they'd just been caught committing some heinous crime.
"Dude, tell me that wasn't your dad."
The orange tabby pursed their lips and nodded as they felt heat rush into their face and ears.
Paulo and Amaya looked at each other for another moment or two, until Amaya smirked and snorted with laughter. At that, Paulo was unable to contain himself and followed suit. The two must've really needed a relief from all the tension of this night, since soon they were both cracking up to the point of tears. Paulo, still embarrassed, kept his face buried in his hands, but couldn't stop himself from laughing along with his friend.
"Ugh… well, I'm gonna go forget that just happened," Paulo decided. He glanced sideways at Amaya. "Oh, but…I'm curious about something." Amaya looked up at him expectantly. "If you're not a boy or a girl, what do I call you? 'It'?"
"Oh… 'they' is good. I like 'they.'" Amaya responded. "But…could you keep this between us? For now? The only other person who knows is Sue. I'm…not ready to tell the others yet."
"'They' is cute. It suits ya," Paulo said. "And no worries, dude. I won't talk about it with anyone, not until you're ready. Promise." Paulo made a motion of zipping his lips, and gave the tabby a smile. Amaya snickered at that. As Paulo turned to head back to his car, he heard Amaya's voice once more.
"Hey, Paulo..?" He turned his head and regarded them. "...thanks…for being my friend."
"Thanks for being mine too, ya dork," Paulo replied playfully. He threw in a wink at the tabby.
The two parted ways for the night. Paulo headed back to his house to wash up and crash, and Amaya went to finish up the closing chores before going home with their dad. They just hoped he wouldn't have any questions about the scene he'd walked in on.
All was said and done. Amaya's dad had closed up shop for the night, and the two of them made their way back to the car. Amaya flopped in the front passenger seat with fatigue and buckled up, and was met with a peculiar look from their father. They cocked their head so as to say 'what?'
"Just curious! Wondering who that boy was, is all. You two seemed close," the larger tabby said while turning the key to ignite the engine.
"Paulo. A friend from school. We're getting pretty close. I think, at least," Amaya replied curtly. They glanced down at their claws to fiddle with them nervously.
Luckily, their dad simply replied with a pleased hum. His child was always so closed off from others. Always so quiet, reserved, and anxious. Sue was good for them. Great for them, even. But, the little one needed more friends. They deserved tons of friends, and he didn't think that was just his 'dad bias' talking. He was happy they'd made another friend.
…
"I…told him about me. About being nonbinary." Amaya added. Their dad looked at them in surprise before refocusing his eyes on the road. "He didn't totally understand, I don't think. But he accepted me. He made me feel good about myself."
He chuckled and ruffled the fur between the smaller tabby's ears.
"Aww… That's amazing. I'm so proud of you, kiddo." Amaya smiled at that, and just looked out the window for the rest of the ride home.
The tension and anxiety from earlier was long gone now. But the elation and contentment remained in the tabby's chest. Even through the exhaustion of a closing shift at work, they couldn't help but smile as they watched the streetlights pass by outside.
Only one little worry sprung up in their mind…
…How the hell were they ever gonna get Sue and Paulo to get along?
