April 17th 1866
My beloved children,
I never wanted to write this letter to you, but life has many ways to make us do what we don't want to. I woke up to unbearable sight this morning and that is the reason these words are finding their way to the paper. Last night I went to bed with my beloved wife laughing and remembering how good we have it; how happy we are and how much we still care for one another. She placed her head on my shoulder and it was not the same auburn hair I was used to; it hasn't been for a long time. But somehow, her gray hair, wrinkles and all the changes on her body made her even more beautiful. That meant that we grew old, that we lived to see one another change and become this grumpy old man and woman. She gave me a kiss goodnight and a smile. That magic smile she always had just for me and we fell asleep. This morning, when I opened my eyes and kissed my wife's lips, I realized she would never open her eyes ever again. In my arms I held lifeless body of my Fran and I wanted to scream so hard to wake up all of you and all the creatures living on this estate…but I couldn't. She was so beautiful, peaceful and happy. She died in my arms with a smile on her face. She looked like she did so many nights we spent together, happy to be with me. Her life ended some time during the night and my ended the moment I realized she was gone. For over fifty years Francesca Bridgerton Sterling, Countess of Kilmartin has been my reason to live. Every sneaky attack of my malaria I survived knowing that I have someone to come back to. As of this morning, I have no one waiting on the side of the bed with that magical smile.
You've all grown up and have your families and lives outside of mine. I am ready to go. I have been ready for years, but I didn't want to leave her alone. I know how hard she had it after John, so I didn't want her to feel that way ever again. She has followed me for years into adventures that were sometimes risky and now it is my turn to follow her.
I am leaving this life happy and with a smile on my face. I was one of the lucky ones. I got to live, I got to experience the most incredible things, but most important thing in my life was loving Lady Kilmartin and her loving me back.
Our solicitor has our last will and there is also a letter written by your mother with instrucitions on how and where we want to be buried. Don't be sad. There is nothing to be sad about when two people go to next life together. I am going there holding my beloved girl in my arms and with a smile on my face. My Frannie and I are going to our eternity to be with people we loved and lost…and this is not sad… We are having a very happy ending. Going into death just hours apart.
I love you all so much and I wish you life as happy and fulfilled as we did.
Now, it is time to join my wife in our marriage bed that will soon become death bed,
With love yours,
Michael Stearling
(for the last time)
Earl of Kilmartin
He left the letter on her desk and went to get his medicine for Malaria. He knew that if he took entire bottle there was no chance for him to survive. He had no idea if he would feel pain, but he knew there was no bigger pain than he was already experiencing. He opened the bottle and drank everything, placed it to his bedside and went back to bed. He pulled Francesca into his arms and waited for the medicine to work. He Hoped it would be soon, because life without her had no meaning to him. He felt medicine was starting to work, so he pulled her even closer, like he was trying to melt her into himself and last thing that he remembered was kissing her and closing his eyes.
Michael Sterling died just as he wanted with the woman he loved more than life by his side.