Author's Note: Bumblebee receives some devastating news about a girl who once saved his life. Will he be able to return the favour?

Very heavy on the angst. Tissues may be required.

/denotes internal thoughts/

''denotes recalled conversations'' ( in italics).

Fear.

It's an emotion I have become quite good at controlling. At repressing. ''Especially for one so young'' – as Optimus would say. ''It is something that is both admirable and concerning''. Also, something Optimus has said, but to Ratchet – not to me. But after I heard that news report, in the seconds that followed – even now as my tyres grip the winding road – fear consumed me. It engulfed me and overwhelmed me, driving me to do something I never do.

I directly disobeyed Prime's orders.

For her.

For her I would do anything. Had it not been for her, I would have likely rotted away and perished in a junkyard all those years ago. But she had found me, and she had saved me.

/In so many ways…/.

And now, as I raced towards Brighton Falls and the cul-de-sac I once called home, I hoped I was not too late to save her!

My spark pulsed painfully, and I gave a mournful cry as I flicked rapidly through the radio channels.

''Epicentre…..devastating Brighton Falls…the surrounding areas..''

''Hundreds of home…. lives lost…. rescuers begin…..harrowing search for surviv…''

My engine growls angrily and defiantly as I push myself faster, snippets of the news report send waves of panic coursing through me.

''The quake hit without warning….. late hours of Thursday eve..''

''scene of utter destruction and chaos..''

All at once, lights loom in the distance as a long procession of cars stretches out before me. For the first time I realise that the traffic heading into the town is sparce, yet the traffic leaving the town is a steady stream. Cars are bumper to bumper as people flee, seeking safety and shelter with family and friends located elsewhere.

/Where would she go? Who could she turn to?/.

It was then that I noticed it.

Subtle at first but then worsening the closer I get towards her house. Roofs had collapsed, walls had crumbled, verandas sagged, and bricks lay strewn about. The sound of glass crunching under my tyres caused my spark to constrict as I carefully navigated my way towards my destination.

Smoke billowed against a darkening skyline. A skyline set aflame by fires that had sprung up all over the suburb. Gas lines had burst, and electrical wires snapped and downed had sparked the dangerous flames that now seemed to be slowly consuming the suburb. Firefighters and rescue teams had arrived and were bravely battling the flames and searching the rubble for survivors.

Several times, faces of police officers and the fire department glanced in my direction, confused as to why a yellow Camaro would be heading into the devastated area. Though none approached me. It would seem if I didn't get in their way, I didn't appear to exist. They had far more important things to worry about.

Their distraction suited me fine. /Not that they could have stopped me from getting to her anyway!/. The flashing red and blue lights and sirens flickered and wailed all around me, but I was focused on one thing and thing only.

Finding her.

As I turned down her street, memories washed over me and for a moment my spark is wrapped in warmth as I picture her face, hear her voice.

''I won't hurt you… What are you? Where do you come from?''

''I'm Charlie. Charlie Watson. I'm eighteen. Today. Actually, it's my birthday today.''

My spark aches, pulsing erratically as I move along the eerily quiet cul-de-sac overlooking the Bay. Every home in the street lays in utter ruins. Twisted and mangled timber, metal and plaster corpses line the street. Erupted water mains send great geysers of water spewing into the air. A smokey haze lay low on the horizon and the sound of quiet sobbing drifted down to me from figures huddled on front lawns.

''Must suck being cooped up in a VW all day hunh? Is there anyone that can help you? Do you have a family? Like a mum, dad, siblings?

Tear stained and dirty faces hidden within blankets turned to look glassy eyed at me as I rolled towards the last house on the right, the one that had overlooked the Bay below. Her dad's car, her pride and joy, lay buried under the remains of the garage. My spark skipped a pulse and any hope that she may have been away when the quake hit, disappeared. She would never leave her dad's car.

/She had been home. She was here - somewhere/.

''Leave him alone! You don't understand! He's more human than you'll ever be!''

I shuddered.

There was no warm glow of a porch light to welcome me home. There was no smile to greet me, a smile that travelled from her lips to her chocolate brown eyes as she looked at me.

''You like my shirt? You a metal fan?''

Her voice did not call out to me in greeting, happiness and joy ringing in her tone. I groaned out loud. /That voice, the one that gave me my name/.

''You sound like a little Bumblebee. I'm going to call you that from now on. Bumblebee. Matches your outfit too.''

I came to a stop at the cracked and damaged driveway. The building before me stood broken and lifeless. An empty shell. I ran my scanners over the mess before me. /Maybe she lay in there, desperately needing help? Please Primus - maybe/.

Nothing.

''Bee, I can't go with you. You've got people out there that need you, and so do I.''

I ran them again.

And again.

And again, inching closer each time.

Nothing.

With each scan, the terrifying reality took hold of my spark, squeezing it till it must surely burst. There was no sign of life.

''I got to let you go..''

/I was too late. She was gone/.

I killed my engine and simply sat there, feeling as empty and broken as the house before me. Memories and moments once again engulf me, and for one, sweet moment, she was with me, her words echoing within me.

''You know Bee, music can help you say what you're feeling..''

/Feeling? What I'm feeling…/.

A loud, painfilled moan is torn from my dermas and my engine rumbled angrily and aggressively to life once more. I rolled past the ruins of the place I once called home with her.

''The only person you can show yourself around, is me okay?''

/Even though she is gone, she is still keeping me safe/.

Once out of sight, I transformed and stumbled blindly down the hill behind the house, clutching at my chest.

It hurts. I hurt so much.

I falter in my steps and sink to the rocky ground beneath me, unable to bear the weight of my grief any longer.

''Thank you so much for giving me my voice.''

''Thank you for making me feel like me again. I'll never forget you.''

Kneeling in the dirt, I lean forward and place my helm on the ground before me.

''Goodbye Bumblebee.''

My servo rakes through the soil, as a low, mournful groan of utter loss and spark break is torn from deep within me.

/I could not save you/.

/I was too late/.

/I should never have left you in the first place/.

I feel as though I am falling.

Falling into a darkness as I am overwhelmed by the sorrow and pain that swallows me whole. I have watched so many friends die in my relatively young life. So many lives ended well before their time and yet this life - this human woman's life and her loss, hit me like never before.

For she saw me.

She accepted me and she loved me like no one ever has before – or ever will.

/And now you are gone/.

Lost forever, for no reason other than she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. /I can not even blame the Decepticons!/. There is no one to blame, no one thing I can direct my rage, my grief and my pain towards – to lash out and seek retribution.

I curl in upon myself, keening softly as I gouge great tracks through the earth. I scan the radio waves until I find what I am looking for.

''You know Bee, music can help you say what you're feeling..''

All at once the soft strains of music fill the air as a Smiths song, her favourite band, wraps around me like a final embrace, and I lay still. Not caring if I ever move again.

I am utterly undone.