Naruto was jerked awake at too-early an hour by his incessant alarm clock. He fumbled blindly for the damn thing, managing to turn it off without having to fully open his eyes. Then he did and bit back a groan at the predawn darkness of his apartment. "Why am I up?" he grumbled.
"We had an appointment. Remember, Brat?" came from the foot of his bed.
Naruto nearly pissed himself as he startled, waking up his wife Hinata next to him assuming she wasn't already from the alarm. They both sat up and looked to see Anko Mitarashi, casual as anything, picking her teeth with a dango skewer by their feet.
"Why are you already here? We set the alarm for 5:15 and you said 5:30," Hinata asked, more bothered at the thought she'd gotten the time wrong than being seen naked by a near-stranger. The Change had introduced enough positive energy into her psyche that her terminal shyness and anxiety had effectively been erased. Plus, she had a body worthy of worship as well due to the Change, so she had very little reason to feel self-conscious.
"Always show up a half hour early to an appointment to scout for an ambush," Anko said like this was some great shinobi wisdom. "When I didn't spot any obvious traps, I figured I'd test out the Brat's security, only to find it nonexistent. Is that a condition of your lease or are you just that stupid? A civilian burglar with half-decent lockpicks could have strolled right in here."
"It actually is in the lease not to set up any lethal defenses, and that's the only kind worth setting up," Naruto admitted, still slowing down his heart rate at the shock of Anko's breaking and entering. "But this building is at a junction of, like, 3 ANBU patrols so I figured I was good."
"Never put all your chips on a patrol, you can't be sure they'll be passing by in time or be inclined to intervene if they do," Anko once again said in a half-lecturing tone. "Anyway, I'm here to get another 'dose' of your freaky Progenitor man-goo. If I don't wake up in 4 hours with the fancy new bod, I will make you feel my displeasure. So, how we doin' this?"
"Give me a minute," Naruto grumbled, sliding out of bed and making for the kitchenette. The pot they'd used to feed Tenten last night should have been cleaned by the Shadow Clones and on the drying rack.
"Only a minute? You poor girl," Anko said, her words as sharp as they were teasing. Even having only known her a couple days, Naruto had learned Anko's bark was worse than her bite. Or maybe he just hadn't really felt her 'bite' since he'd stayed on her good side. He wasn't in a rush to find out for sure.
"Give him a break, he was a virgin until our wedding night 3 days ago. Endurance and skill will come with experience," Hinata fired back in his defense.
"You were each other's firsts, that's just too cute. And it was even in your old bodies before they got the deluxe Change package. There's something poetic in there, but I never got poetry," Anko practically cackled.
Naruto got the pot and tuned out the sound of what was developing into girl-talk behind him. With a familiar motion on more unfamiliar equipment, he began to jerk himself off. He was already half-hard thanks to his morning wood, which sped up the process. He was just getting a good groove when he felt a soft yet strong body mold against him from behind. *I've got this, I need the practice. I'll be milking you like a prize bull many times over the course of our marriage for scenarios just like this,* Hinata sent into his mind through their Telepathy he kept always-on with the Mind Rune. Her delicate hand, soft except for the calluses necessary for her Gentle Fist usage, wrapped around him from behind to get a grip on his hard cock.
Naruto happily stopped self-serving and focused on just holding the pot at the right angle while his wife gave him a handjob. She caught his leaking pre on the upstroke to get some slick lubrication, making the experience even better with each pass of her hand. The warm weight of her body, especially her glorious boobs with their little erect nips rubbing against his back, felt almost as good as her hand. She even made it a two-hand job, hugging him from behind while she stroked him towards orgasm.
Soon enough, Naruto reached the limit of his pleasure tolerance. Hinata helpfully aimed him like a firehose, making sure the first heavy shots of his seed were directed into the cooking pot. After the full minute of his orgasm (a consequence of just how much cum he had to pump out per load), he set the pot carefully on the nearby counter. Then he turned in Hinata's arms to cup her face and give her a loving kiss. *Thanks, that was an awesome way to start the morning.*
*Any way I could have made it better?* Hinata checked, honestly wanting to improve her technique.
*Would have been a bit of an awkward angle with your face in the way, but I've been dying to titfuck you, maybe next time,* was what came to Naruto's mind first. *Also… I mean, why would the gods have given all men a prostate if only gay and bi men got to enjoy them? I've played around with sticking a finger or two back there now and then. Only if you're up for that, totally cool if you're not.*
*Naruto-kun, I am not a hypocrite. Why would I ask you to stick me back there and then refuse to return the favor?* Hinata's mind-voice was playful. *Next time, and there will be a next time, you can sit on my face and give me a 'titjob' while I 'toss your salad'. Now I'm curious to see how you'll react. But we have all eternity to explore every sex act physically possible, for now let's just stop kissing and feed Anko.*
Naruto pulled back and turned back to the filled pot. He grabbed it, making sure it stayed level to avoid spillage, and brought it over to the waiting Anko. "Here you go. You'll pass out for 4 hours, I swear you'll wake up in the Ward body, and then you can go about your day," he said as he offered her the vessel of his seed.
"Cheers," the violet-haired professional sadist (Anko was a member of the Hidden Leaf's Torture & Interrogation unit) said before bringing the metal to her lips and tilting. Much as last time when it had been a glass beaker, her eyes went vacant as the narcotic laced in his precum hit her bloodstream and brain. She guzzled down the full load, her belly underneath the fishnet mesh she preferred becoming quite spherical. Naruto grabbed the pot before it hit the ground. He took it back to the sink to wash later, then concentrated.
Every Progenitor had mind-boxes, metaphysical slots they could fill with Runes or Connections. Naruto focused on the one that held his link to Anko, currently glowing a soft white to mark it was active with his cum in her stomach. He activated the Healing Rune and then rode out the steady, swift drain of his chakra reserves as thousands of calories' worth of biological work were crammed into a few seconds. He was almost halfway to chakra exhaustion before he felt the Rune stop working, finding nothing left to 'fix'.
Hinata had gone over to Anko and maneuvered her unconscious body to rest on their bed. *Just occurred to me, she and Tenten will be waking up around the same time. That could be interesting,* his wife mused.
*Oh, yeah, 14 hours from around 7:30 PM and 4 hours from 5:30 AM both equal 9:30 AM,* Naruto realized as he did clock math. *Well, Anko will probably be right out the door to make her shift at T&I. Tenten… crap, we didn't warn her about the 14 hours, she might get in trouble with either Higurashi's or her Team.*
*Well, we won't make that mistake with the next recruit,* Hinata finally said, knowing there was no way to wake Tenten up sooner. *Bath and shower?*
*You're on,* Naruto agreed.
A proper bath, as Naruto got taught once they reached the bathroom, was not a proper bath without essential oils, foaming bath salts, and some scented candles. Which seemed like an awful lot of work for what was in the end stewing in your own filth. But Naruto wasn't going to argue with his wife on how she decided to cleanse herself and him by extension. And besides, bubbles! They sank into his too-small tub and settled in for a long soak.
*I'd be happy living with you in a tent in the woods. And yet, would it be possible to trade up to a different apartment? Is it financially feasible?* Hinata asked when she accidentally knocked her elbow into the side of the bathtub stretching.
*We've got about 35k in the bank right now, almost all of it the leftovers from Old Man Hokage's wedding gift. All that might go into the first month's rent and the security deposit and all those little fees landlords slip in. That's just for a place only a little less crappy than this hole,* Naruto thought directly to his new bride. *Let's see how much we both pull in after a couple weeks of D-rank Missions with our Teams. We might be stuck here unless we start hunting and gathering our own food or get a loan.*
*I see. I suppose I lack perspective. Father spent 200 million on a single vase to put in the main tea room once,* Hinata hummed, starting to realize the reality of being working-class as opposed to Clan Heiress for one of the richest clans in the Elemental Nations.
*Hmm… well, worse comes to worst, I could probably use the Creation Rune and manifest some gold or diamonds,* Naruto joked. He probably could actually do that, but the chakra costs would likely be enough to kill him as he was right now. Give him a couple years of hard training and expanding the network.
*You can make something out of nothing. The phrase 'sex god' seems oddly appropriate in your case, all things considered,* Hinata giggled, a wonderfully feminine sound.
*On the subject of sex, we've got a time-limited 'yes' from Anko conditional on me winning a spar. And Tenten seemed pretty taken with you after you Gentle Fist-ed her but she's still a 'maybe'. Anyone else spring to mind as potential sister-wives?* Naruto checked. And what a life he was living, asking his wife who she felt like seducing into their bed together.
*I'd name almost any girl in our class but we'd have to deprogram them from the cult of Sasuke Uchiha first,* Hinata thought contemplatively. *And you see Ayame Ichiraku more as a sister than a potential wife, plus she seemed to be crushing on Iruka-sensei. For the record, he'd probably agree to be your Ward, remember to offer it to him at some point. The only other single woman I know in the village is my tutor, Kurenai Yuuhi.*
*You had a tutor?* Naruto blinked.
*My Father is a harsh taskmaster set in his ways, but even he could recognize his methods weren't best suited for me. He brought in an outside Jonin to try and 'toughen me up' to the point the traditional Hyuuga way would start to work on me. She wasn't very successful, but I did improve a little under her tutelage, enough to justify the expense in his mind. I credit my passing the Graduation Exam more to 6 months with her than all the years with Father combined, really. She mentioned she was going to be getting her own Team from the crop of our graduating class. I have her address, we might as well go to see her and read her into the Progenitor thing,* Hinata recommended.
*If you like her, that's good enough for me. So tell me about her,* Naruto prompted, even as he gave Hinata's neck a thankful kiss. Even if he ended up with hundreds of wives to juggle, he was sure Hinata would always remain his favorite. She was just so perfect, after all.
*Tall, slender but she's a Jonin so it's deceptive, raven black hair that never hangs straight. Her eyes are a distinctive red, I'm convinced she's a 3rd or 4th generation offshoot of an Uchiha. The fact her specialty is Genjutsu is more proof for that theory. She usually wears a red mesh blouse under a dress made from wide bandages with this rose-thorn pattern on them. She's almost as hot as Anko, but she's got the opposite reputation. She doesn't hate men or anything, but she was nicknamed the 'Ice Queen' in her year at the Academy because she turned down so many boys. She just has high standards, but it's gotten to the point people assume she's a lesbian or an extreme feminist or both. Early 30s, I'd say. She's great fun, but she's got total 'mom' energy. She practically wrapped me in blankets and made me cocoa when she got me right after a hard spar with Father or Hanabi-chan,* Hinata listed from memory.
*Sounds like a lovely woman. Now, in your opinion, what are the odds she'd actually join the harem once she got to know me properly? Or is she set to be just another female Ward?* Naruto checked.
*We might have more of an issue with the fact I'm your wife. She sees me as a little sister if not an adopted daughter assuming I'm more than just a charge to her. I'm sure she'd fall in love with you in no time if you were your usual charming self, but the idea of us sharing a man might disgust her on some level,* Hinata said after a proper thought of the situation.
*Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. No harm in asking, right? All we can do is offer all the information and then it's all up to her either way,* Naruto shrugged.
*What about male Wards? Weren't you close with Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji?* Hinata turned the earlier question back on him.
*Well, we did some remedial classes and detention time together, but we're not exactly brothers. And while I'm pretty sure Chouji has a little bi crush on Shikamaru, the other two strike me as pure hetero. Kiba might honestly rather eat my vomit than my cum, and that's not a joke about the Inuzuka hound thing. Shikamaru would just say 'how troublesome' but that's because of the sheer effort of drinking cum as opposed to water. Though the idea of him going through the Change is actually mildly terrifying. He's smart even for a Nara, though he's twice as lazy. His brain upgraded past its already genius baseline? He could take over the planet if it weren't too much hassle,* Naruto replied once he'd crunched the scenario in his head.
*So wouldn't it be great to get a super-genius firmly in your corner? And think of it this way, the Change will make it so he never has to physically exercise to still have peak fitness. He might agree just for that reason,* Hinata pointed out. *What about Shino?*
*Who?* Naruto blinked, not recognizing the name.
Hinata gave a somehow lady-like snort. *Shino Aburame, Clan Heir of the Aburame Clan? His clan utilize insects who live inside their bodies symbiotically? You sat two seats to his left all last year?*
*Oh, now I know who you mean! Huh, I always just called him 'Shades' in my head, he's almost as quiet as you were around me,* Naruto chuckled once it 'clicked' in his mind. *So, he's from that bug clan. I honestly have no idea how the Change would react to his body being a nest or hive or whatever. It could go terribly right or horribly wrong, I really can't decide.*
*Worth exploring, if he's up for the Change once he understands what it entails,* Hinata hummed. *Should I even mention Sasuke? I know you have issues with him, but acquiring the Sharingan makes a lot of tactical sense. You could even fix the whole 'Last Uchiha' issue by copying it into every Ward's DNA and essentially repopulating his clan.*
Naruto fought his knee-jerk rejection to consider the issue logically. *On the very slim chance he'd agree to drink cum, especially my cum, he just might agree. The Change is a great shortcut to the ideal body, and he'll have access to the chakra pool which is a big draw. Still, the thought of having a lifelong Connection with that bastard just rubs me the wrong way.*
*Why don't you two get along? Did something happen when you were kids?* Hinata asked curiously.
*If I'm being honest, we barely have said two words to each other. At least if you don't count him giving me smug, condescending smirks as he calls me 'dumbass' or me cussing him out for being Mr. Perfect. It's just this chemical thing, like cats and dogs. Every time I hear him talk or make that damn 'hnn' sound, I just want to pull my arm off so I can have something to throw at his head. And his attitude is horrible if you pay attention to it past his admittedly obscene good looks. Yeah, boohoo, his big brother went psychotic and murdered the whole family, doesn't give him the right to be an asshole,* Naruto mentally grumbled.
*Well, I suppose some people simply repel like magnets,* Hinata thought delicately, though Naruto could feel her shaking as she suppressed belly laughter.
They debated the merits of recruiting literally everyone they knew, more for fun than anything (Konohamaru was brought up but ruled out for being a minor, they had to have some limits). Once the water got tepid, they got out and had a lingering shower. By the time they finished, got dried and dressed, and were starting on breakfast, it was gone 6:30. Still plenty of time before both their other Wards woke up.
Once they'd finished the morning meal, Hinata eyed the stack of books on the coffee table. *Would you mind if I studied for Medical Ninjutsu? I really would rather get some of the basics under my belt as soon as possible. Plus, we only have 2 weeks until the check-out time expires and I can't make Shadow Clones to read them all for me.*
*... Can't you, though? I can loan you chakra as easily as I can borrow it. How about I feed you enough fuel to try the Shadow Clone Jutsu?* Naruto blinked as he had a 'light bulb' moment.
An impromptu lesson on the unique hand seal for the Jutsu and his best explanation on the right 'shape' to mold her chakra into, they got ready to try it. Naruto, still at barely over half a tank from healing Anko an hour ago, took a decent chunk from his remaining reserves and sent them through his Connection to Hinata.
*This feels tingly!* Hinata gasped as more chakra than she normally had in her whole body was psychically integrated into her chakra network. *I can feel my reserves expanding to fit it all!*
*Well, I'll remember to give you a little boost every day, then. Now try the Jutsu,* Naruto gently nudged her.
Hinata made the right hand seal. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
A solid dozen tangible copies of the Uzumaki matriarch poofed into existence. Naruto blinked. "Huh, if I'd done it I would have gotten 4 or 5 with that amount. You really do have way better control than I do."
"Well, I can teach you control while you help me expand my natural reserves," Hinata said brightly, recovering from the transition from overflowing energy to near exhaustion. "Ladies, there's only 7 books and 12 of you. 5 of you are superfluous. Any suggestions on alternate uses of yourselves or should I just recover the chakra you're made from?"
"I volunteer to work all day on a slow-cooked lunch and dinner for you and Master, Mistress!" one Hinata Clone raised her hand.
"I can go visit Kurenai-sensei and lay the groundwork before you two approach her in person," offered another Hinata.
"We can always use more Byakugan practice, especially since we can't ask for any tips or tricks from our 'family' anymore," brought up a third Clone.
A fourth Hinata made a hand seal and vanished in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, Naruto raised a brow. Hinata's Clone had modeled the Reverse Sexy Jutsu off Naruto's own body, though 'he' stuck to 2 balls instead of a quad. Otherwise, though, they were identical apart from the masculine version of Hinata's face and the hair color. "The last extra and I can practice our lovemaking skills. Takes 10 thousand hours to master any task and all. And while you and Master will doubtless reach that number eventually, there's no reason not to get in as many as possible, right?"
"I know Ayame was kidding during our reception, but I suddenly agree with her. Ninja sex can be creepy as it is hot. The thought of Minata plowing Naruko or us spitroasting Tenten is now stuck in my head and it's both arousing and disturbing me," Naruto confessed out loud.
"Minata?" Hinata asked through her sudden blush.
"Male Hinata, hence Minata. Unless you have a better idea, he's your genderbend and all," Naruto rolled his eyes.
"I'm inclined to stick with 'Hinata', just using different kanji, it is a unisex name," Hinata managed. "And all that sounds agreeable, by the way. The 'love' duo can use the bathroom for privacy, everyone else either do as you said or grab one of the texts."
"Yes, Mistress!" they all saluted, which looked rather humorous with the nude male Hinata. Then they all went about their assigned tasks.
"So, what do we do until 9:30?" Naruto brought up.
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door.
Naruto went to check the peephole and felt a flash of deja vu. "Yes, ANBU-san?" he asked once he opened the door with the chain still in place. Would prove no real barrier, of course, but it made him feel better. It was even the same one with the 'badger' mask.
"Uzumaki-san, I bear a message from Hokage-sama. He wishes you to know he has made great headway in finding a number of potential Wards. It is low-priority, but he would like to see you before the end of the day," the member of the Special Assassination and Tactical Squad said flatly.
"Message received, ANBU-san," Naruto nodded in genuine respect. ANBU were old school, and badass by any sane standard. It took a certain kind of person to be selected to be trained for the 'ugly' missions, wetwork and espionage and all the stuff regular shinobi and kunoichi didn't normally touch. Plus you had to be Chunin rank at minimum to get in. Even in his most rebellious and reckless phase, he'd never actually planned to go through with pranking the ANBU Headquarters. That project idea had always been more of a reminder of just how out of his league certain pranks would always be.
"Acknowledged, Uzumaki-san," the male ANBU said before vanishing in a Body Flicker.
"Well, might as well get that out of the way. I'll head to Hokage Tower. Honey, you mind staying here in case I'm held up so Tenten-chan and Anko-chan don't wake up with just your Clones?" Naruto asked his wife.
"Not at all. See you later, handsome," Hinata wished her husband, darting in for a parting kiss.
Naruto locked the door behind him and then strolled at a brisk pace towards the Hokage Tower, the most important building in the Hidden Leaf Village. He glanced at the Hokage Rock, idly imagining his own face up there with those legendary shinobi someday. He honed in on the Fourth Hokage's carving. "What made you pick me?" he asked under his breath. He wondered if he'd ever get a proper answer. The fact the Uzumaki Clan were a thing, as he'd recently learned, may or may not have been a factor. He'd have to ask Old Man Hokage, though there was no guarantee the man would be honest. He'd kept Naruto in the dark all his life, after all. For good reasons, probably, but if Naruto was honest with himself he trusted the Third a bit less than he had before the whole Mizuki incident.
He reached the main administrative building for the whole Hidden Leaf Village. Naruto, figuring he might as well play by the book now he was a REAL ninja, actually played nice at the security checkpoints. He made it to Old Man Hokage's office, where after a knock and a call of "Enter!" he let himself in.
"Yo, Old Man Hokage. You wanted to see me?" Naruto said in greeting.
"Ah, Naruto-kun! Indeed," the man nodded. Instead of sitting behind his desk, he was lying comfortably on the couch in the corner. Meanwhile, 3 Shadow Clones were steadily reading and signing their way through stacks of paperwork almost as tall as they were.
"I see your job's gotten a lot easier after I gave you the Shadow Clone idea," Naruto noted with amusement.
"Yes, yes, no need to reiterate my idiocy," the Third waved off. He reached for a file on the couch next to him and held it out. "I've been using my much greater amounts of free time to do some headhunting and pitching the benefits of the Progenitor Bloodline Limit. I've prepared a dossier of all the potential recruits for your own personal discretion on proceeding with any of them."
Naruto took the bulging manila folder but didn't open it. "I really don't care about specifics. And the bigger the better when it comes to the network for total chakra. If they're up for drinking my cum and becoming a Ward, all strings attached, then I'm up for filling up a cup and each of them getting a dose. Though I have to ask, how many people were interested? This thing's a good 2 inches thick!"
"You likely underestimate just how intense a draw the promise of restored youth or the cure to any ailment really is, Naruto-kun," the Third said in a grave tone. "A good half of those files are for retirees or amputees. Another third are for those with chronic medical conditions that impede their capacity to be the best shinobi or kunoichi they can be. Granted, I kept your identity masked as 'an anonymous donor' to prevent any prejudice against the Nine-Tails coloring them unfairly against the idea. Still, there's over 500 candidates there. You truly are giving blanket approval?"
"While we're at it, add their significant others if they have any. The men will get too big for any normal man or woman to take safely, and why should any of them get the fountain of youth while their lover is doomed to keep aging? Assuming they agree to the Change too, that might get a tad messy if one partner does and the other doesn't, but I'll let you deal with that," Naruto brainstormed. "Another million-ryo idea, John claimed we don't have the necessary technology to synthesize the proteins and make an artificial serum to use instead of my cum. But if I'm expected to keep 500+ people regularly topped up, I won't have any left for my wives. Might as well get the ball rolling on research into mass-producing fake Progenitor semen… I can't believe I actually just said that."
"All excellent points, Naruto-kun. Despite what your test scores would lead one to believe, you have a keen intellect. You simply seem to lack direction when utilizing it," the Hokage said, lightly making fun of Naruto at his expense.
"Hardy har har, I'm an idiot savant. And yes, I know the word 'savant'," Naruto huffed in exaggerated offense. "Anyway, we can get about 20 working portions out of a full load. Just doing some quick math, I'll need to donate almost 30 loads to recruit more than 500 people. It takes me about 4 hours to recharge from bone dry to full up. Assuming 4 donations a day, and that's if I don't have sex with my wife or any other Ward, that's over a week straight. I'd rather go with a more staggered schedule than that, but you're the boss here, Old Man Hokage."
"There's really no urgency, and I wouldn't want to deprive Hinata-chan or any other lover you two acquire of the joys of sex so early into your relationship," the Third said with a bit of a dirty giggle at the end. Naruto was reminded that an unexpected Sexy Jutsu had been enough to knock this man out cold. "Shall we say one donation a day? Once you have added everyone on that list, I'll have had time to pitch even more, we can rotate back through them all, or we can simply start to freeze and bank your semen for emergencies."
"Sounds reasonable," Naruto agreed. "Kind of silly that my sexual fluids are a legit military asset, but they are."
"I've long since stopped trying to find any rhyme or reason to this world we live in, Naruto-kun. Feel free to attempt to yourself, but I for one have settled for resignation to the insanity," the Third sighed, sounding even older than he looked.
Naruto tilted his head. "Um, Old Man Hokage? Not to make things weird, but are you in this file?"
The man he saw as the closest thing to a grandfather he had choked on his own breath. "W-what?"
"I mean, if you're ready to die or some shit like that, I'll hate it but try to respect your right to choose," Naruto rushed to say. "I just figured… well, if I'm going to live forever, I'd like you to stick around at least as long. I'd miss you if you weren't there."
The Third recovered his breath and gave Naruto an unreadable look. Finally, he spoke. "And that wouldn't bother you, Naruto-kun? The fact that I would become dependent on a semi-regular dose of your seed? I won't say the idea of putting this mind back in the body I had in my youth isn't tempting, or even a better one thanks to the Change. I simply abstained because I believed the power imbalance inherent to my sexual submission to you, even indirectly, would disgust or otherwise offend you."
Naruto felt a tad green at the very phrase 'sexual submission' coming out his former guardian's mouth (literally, the Hokage by law was in loco parentis for all unadopted orphans in the village until they aged out of the orphanage). And he saw the point the elderly man was trying to make. Still… "Not gonna lie, the idea of you blowing me directly makes me want to puke. No offense, but just no. But that's not what I'm offering, I'm offering to cum into a cup and you would happen to drink it. Then you'd just be a male Ward. If the fact I'll have total access to your chakra to borrow on a whim doesn't bother you, the fact you'll know what I taste like doesn't bother me. And seriously, why are these words coming out of my mouth? John Blake is laughing somewhere, I swear to the gods."
The Third Hokage took a deep, steadying breath. "If your offer is sincere, Naruto-kun… I would be honored to become your Ward. Not only for the personal benefits I'll enjoy. But the knowledge I, in a very real way, will be able to support you for the rest of our lives brings me comfort and joy."
"Now you're making it weird, Old Man Hokage," Naruto said, trying to come off as grumpy when he actually felt a tad choked up.
*This is so sweet but so obscene at the same time,* Hinata chimed in with her mind-voice.
*Don't remind me, if I think about it too hard I might change my mind,* Naruto insisted.
The Hokage seemed to have a similar realization of how this would sound out of context. "It goes without saying that if any rumor of me and an 18 year old boy engaging in any kind of sexual favors starts to circulate around the village grapevine, I will find the responsible party. Understood, ANBU?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama," came at least 2 voices in unison.
"Just give me a damn beaker and let's get this out of the way," Naruto said with burning cheeks.
After Old Man Hokage made all the arrangements to be unreachable for 14 hours, he handed Naruto the same beaker they'd used to feed Anko 2 days ago. It had probably been washed and sterilized, but it still made things just that more awkward. Naruto managed to cum and shoot a half-full load through sheer force of will and some helpful dirty talk from Hinata. Then he came out of the restroom and handed it off to the village leader.
"Ready when you are, Old Man Hokage," Naruto said, focusing on getting ready to use the Healing Rune on a new Connection rather than exactly who that Connection would be with.
"If this works, Naruto-kun, I insist you start calling me Hiruzen," the Third said with a grin. Then, pinching his nose but Naruto couldn't bring himself to care, the old man started to drink the collected cum. The precum narcotic kicked in, and it just looked different on a man than a woman. Naruto plucked the beaker out of a weakening grip before it fell to the ground.
"The things I do for my precious people," he huffed to himself. Then he focused on the mind-box filled with Old M– Hiruzen. He made a Connection, and then almost staggered. Hiruzen, as it turned out, had more chakra than Naruto when he was fully charged, Hinata, Anko, AND Tenten combined. And that was pushing 70 and after a solid 18 years working behind a desk instead of actively training and keeping his edge from his glory days.
*Guess you don't get the nickname 'God of Shinobi' for collecting bottle caps,* Naruto thought to his wife, still boggling at just how much the Third had in his tank.
*And you're about to put him through the Change, which will make him even stronger. Still, he likes you, so that's probably a good thing,* Hinata put in her two ryo.
Moving past the moment of awe, Naruto activated the Healing Rune. He was treated to the downright odd sight of Hiruzen's face becoming visibly younger by the second. Also his robes started to bulge and tear, when they'd been baggy on his withered frame before the Change started. Praise to every god and demon above and below, he didn't end up ripping out his own clothes and flashing Naruto. And then Naruto was left looking at a snoring, 20-ish looking version of Hiruzen with the 6' 2 brawny build of any male Progenitor or Ward. His hair and goatee were now chocolate brown instead of gray-white.
"Old Man Hokage… is now Young Man Hokage… yeah, I need to lie down," Naruto said, actually feeling faint from the cognitive dissonance of Hiruzen looking more like his brother than his grandpa now.
After a minute or two with his head between his knees (which reminded him, probably worth trying the whole self-suck thing again with his radically longer equipment compared to the last try), Naruto stood up. "So… I leave him in your care, ANBU-san," Naruto said before just showing himself out of the office.
*Alright… so that happened,* Naruto thought once he was a couple blocks away from the Hokage Tower.
*How do you feel, Naruto-kun? You're straight and you just recruited a man, let alone one you had a nearly familial relationship with. Is this going to bother you?* Hinata thought with concern.
*I mean, a dude drank my cum. It just registers as 'gross' instead of 'sexy' or anything else. That's how I'm wired. But now Hiruzen's young again, his huge reserves are in the network, all good things on paper both for our family and the village. Plus, I had no problem with the idea of donating and random guys I don't even know taking a sip so in theory it shouldn't bother me that he did. I… I'm just going to try not to dwell on it and move on with my life,* Naruto thought with a shake of his head. *Although, I suddenly understand the phrase 'I need a drink'.*
*Well, it's considered poor taste to have alcohol before 5:00 PM, so you'll have to hold out until the late afternoon,* Hinata thought with amusement. *Still, I'll make a martini for you at the strike of the hour if you're still upset by then.*
Naruto snorted. *See, this is why I love you. You can make me laugh and see the bright side even when I'm vaguely traumatized.* Reminded of just how lucky he was to be Hinata's husband, Naruto decided to take a detour on his way home.
*You don't have to. And that's not girl-speak for "yes, you do or you're in the doghouse", you really don't have to waste money on getting me anything!* Hinata protested as Naruto worked out the route from his current spot to Yamanaka Flowers.
*Woman, just shut up and accept my attempts to spoil you,* Naruto thought in a faux-severe tone. *Really, this is more for me than it is for you. I was pretty sure I'd die alone until you confessed in the hospital. So don't you dare stop me from finding out how it feels to be a doting husband.*
*... White lilies are my favorite,* Hinata relented.
Memorizing that fact for the future, Naruto continued to walk through the morning crowds to the most popular flower shop in the Hidden Leaf. He walked in, and the competing floral scents almost overwhelmed his nose.
Ino Yamanaka, his classmate from the Academy for the past 12 years, looked up from reading some fashion magazine behind the counter. "Welcome to Yamanaka Flowers!" she said with rehearsed good cheer. "Feel free to look around or ask if you need advice!"
"I'm looking for white lilies, where would those be?" Naruto asked, wondering why she wasn't commenting on his dramatic change in appearance since they'd last met.
"Are these to plant in a garden or in a bouquet for someone special?" Ino asked for clarity.
"They're for my wife. Definitely a bouquet, though if you have the stuff to set up a window box I'll also take a few seedlings," Naruto decided. Fresh flowers, that was a charmingly domestic thing to have on hand. And with Shadow Clone labor, they'd never go unmaintained.
"Follow me!" Ino said, walking out from behind the counter and leading him into the nursery section. "So, there's actually a whole language to arranging flowers, if you believe in that sort of thing. What would you like this bouquet to 'say'? The white lily stands for 'purity' or 'chastity' by the way."
"Well, not to be too crass, but is there a way to say 'I love you, you're my best friend, and thanks for saving yourself for me'?" Naruto asked with a hint of blush to his cheeks. He was still waiting for Ino to explode or make some comment about his new body or the fact he was married now.
"Oh, that's adorable! Congratulations!" Ino all but squealed in girlish delight. "Well, the white lily can definitely stay, it's a 'virgin' flower. Yellow and red roses would convey 'friendship' and 'sexual love' respectively. Maybe just a sprig or two of wisteria for 'longevity' and 'good luck' to round out the arrangement since it's for a spouse. That's for the bouquet, at least. For the window box, that's a whole other conversation. The science of what plants grow well together AND look good together can get a bit confusing…"
Naruto wound up relying on Ino's advice a lot more than he expected for what should have been a simple stop at the flower store. Still, it was surprisingly fun to learn how much he didn't know about botany and how seriously some people took the art of gardening.
"So, stranger, I hate to be rude but why are your ears pointed instead of round?" Ino slipped in once Naruto had laid all his purchases on the counter to ring up.
"They changed when my Bloodline Limit came in… wait, stranger? Ino, you actually don't recognize me?" Naruto blinked. He didn't look that different, did he?
Ino blinked then got a delicate blush. Rather cute, really, Naruto had to admit. "Oh, I'm sooo sorry. Have we met?"
Naruto cocked an eyebrow. "I'll give you one hint: believe it."
"... NARUTO?!" Ino shrieked like a banshee, her eyes popping wide and her jaw almost dislocating as she gaped at him in shock.
"Ouch," Naruto winced, an actual ringing in his ears. "I thought Sakura-chan was the loud one between you two. Shows what I know."
Ino's blush had turned into a flush of rage. "Haha, very funny, great prank– NOT! Now drop the Transformation! Are you even going to pay for these?"
"What Transformation? And of course I'm paying for them, why wouldn't I?" Naruto replied, getting a bit annoyed at such a hostile response to a perceived trick. Not his fault she hadn't recognized him.
"The one making you look like a stud muffin, idiot! And you said these were all for your wife, you're not married! Like any girl would slum it with a moron like you!" Ino hissed like a cobra spitting venom.
Naruto set his jaw and reached for patience. Screaming back would just be sinking to her level, or so he tried to convince himself. "In order: it's not a Transformation, it's part of my Bloodline Limit along with the ears; I wasn't married the last time we saw each other, but a lot can change in a short time; and ouch, that was just rude."
Ino seemed to just gape at him for a beat, then actually made the Ram seal. "Release!"
"... Convinced?" Naruto asked sarcastically when no Genjutsu got dispelled.
"This… this can't be happening! You're hotter than Sasuke-kun now! This has to be a trick!" Ino raved, seemingly mid-meltdown.
"Ino?! What in the world has got you so upset? I could hear you from upstairs!" asked an older brunette woman who was most likely Ino's mother that came out from behind a door into the back of the shop. Ino took after her pureblood Yamanaka father in coloring. The woman took one look at Naruto, blinked, and then got a cautiously neutral expression. Well, better than outright scorn upon recognizing him as the Nine-Tails' Jinchuuriki, Naruto figured. "Hello, Uzumaki-san, is there a problem here?"
"No problem, ma'am. Ino and I know each other from the Academy. I recently had a growth spurt, as well as practically eloping. She seems convinced I'm pulling a practical joke on her for showing up looking like this to buy my new wife some flowers," Naruto stuck to the facts.
"Ino, this is unprofessional. Just finish checking him out and let him be on his way," Ino's mother said in a sharp scolding.
"But Mom!" she whined like a girl half her age.
"Ino," her mother said in a much more threatening tone.
Ino visibly cowed under her mother's glare, and sullenly ran up Naruto's total. He handed over the cash wordlessly, then gathered the bouquet and the window box frame filled with his other purchases. "Oh, by the way, I got enough extra credit to graduate even though I failed the Exam. See you tomorrow," Naruto threw over his shoulder on his way out, purely to fuck with her head.
"NARUTO!" was the roared response.
*Oi, that went sour quick,* Naruto commented to Hinata once he was a few streets away from Yamanaka Flowers.
*While I am rather ticked off at her for insulting you, I can't help but remember that she thought you were hotter than Sasuke when she still saw you as the handsome stranger,* Hinata thought back in a mix of forced calm and suggestive hinting.
*Which only means if I recruit Sasuke, she'll be even more into him when he gets this build,* Naruto argued. *Though since we're totally honest with each other, I admit I wanted to shut her up by stuffing my cock in her mouth for a second there.*
*I can't say I blame you,* Hinata gave a dry chuckle. *Plus, she's the class gossip, the fact you're you and not some transfer student at Team assignments tomorrow ought to be common knowledge by the time we get to the Academy.*
*I don't honestly care right now, that's tomorrow's problem,* Naruto huffed. *For today, I need to get home and set these up, help Anko-chan and Tenten-chan when they wake up, and we're still set to meet with Kurenai, right?*
*My Shadow Clone popped, that's an interesting feeling by the way. She covered the basics of how I got a new body and the chakra to even make a Shadow Clone via my new husband's Bloodline Limit. And hinted Kurenai herself could get in on the action if she was willing to give informed consent. Which is why she brought up that she had been seeing someone recently. Luckily, Clone-Hinata had the quick thinking to mention how the offer was gender-blind and her boyfriend could listen to the recruitment pitch too. Two Wards are better than one, even if it means not getting Kurenai-sensei as a sister-wife. At least that was Clone-Hinata's logic and I tend to agree. We're set for a lunch double date at Yakiniku Q at noon,* Hinata reported.
*Never been there, but if some people don't even recognize me now there's a decent chance I won't be denied service,* Naruto shrugged.
*Didn't think of that, but if it happens we know never to go back and badmouth it to all our friends,* Hinata thought with something like a mental wince.
Naruto got back to the apartment around 8:45, having been gone for almost 2 hours. "I'm home!" Naruto announced, for once expecting a response.
"Welcome back!" Hinata wished, along with all her Shadow Clones. She seemed to have occupied her original self with cleaning the apartment, even though Naruto himself had done a deep clean less than a week ago. Still, cleanliness was close to godliness and it was as much her home as his now so power to her.
Naruto laid down all the purchases and walked up to his wife with ceremony. "For you, my love," he said with bottomless affection, pressing the wrapped bouquet into her hands and diving in for a kiss while they were close anyway.
"They're so beautiful, thank you!" Hinata giggled, knowing this actually meant a lot to Naruto: making a big, cheesy romantic gesture. He'd been so starved for love growing up he probably didn't even know his own love language. So part of him was eager to explore all of them, she reasoned. Gift-giving might be a big one for the blond, based on how warm and toasty and pleased with himself he was over a simple bouquet of flowers. All of which he heard go through her head like background noise via their Telepathy, but he declined to comment. She was likely right, but he didn't feel like digging into his own deprived childhood right that moment.
"Shadow Clone Jutsu," Naruto cast, making a solid 3 copies. "Set up the window box, bite the shuriken and read the instructions Ino wrote down so you don't mess up," he commanded.
"Yes, Boss!" they saluted before going about their business.
"Anything I can help with?" Naruto checked with Hinata as he refocused on her. She'd gone to lay the bouquet on the dining table, while one of her Shadow Clones patiently worked on that night's dinner.
"The washer just finished a load, could you move it into the dryer and start the next one, please?" Hinata asked, wiping her hands on a legit apron she must have found somewhere in the closet. He hadn't thought he owned one, but she wouldn't have run to the store to buy an apron just to clean… would she?
Deciding to keep the mystery alive, Naruto nodded and said "Sure, honey," before heading for his barely functional washer-dryer set. The washer leaked no matter how many times Naruto bugged the super to take a look at it (in hindsight, he was rather lucky the superintendent seemed to be one of the few who didn't give a damn that he was a Jinchuuriki. Toriga-san liked everyone, it seemed) and the dryer took 2 or 3 cycles at 'max' heat to get a load properly dry, Naruto had more than once resorted to air-drying on sunny days. But beggars couldn't be choosers, and the very thought of buying replacements made him wince at the hit to the monthly budget. Anyway, Naruto transferred the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. Throwing in a couple dryer sheets, he set it for the strongest, longest cycle the machine could manage, knowing it would prove inadequate to the challenge. Back to the washer, he loaded the second load after throwing in all the usual products.
"I was surprised you already had fabric softener, no offense. Common wisdom would say a bachelor living alone wouldn't bother with the extra step," Hinata made small talk as she resumed polishing the wood floors.
"They make clothes last longer. I figured it was worth a little extra each week getting groceries to avoid too many trips to get 'new' clothes," Naruto shrugged. He heard a squeal he'd only heard a few times but already had a strong association in his brain from the closed bathroom. "They're still in there?" he asked, mildly impressed at Hinata's Clones' commitment to 'practicing' sex.
"Going at it like dogs in heat. I'm a little worried about when they pop and I get the memories. Will I get so worked up I'd jump you in public, or will I feel as sated and mellow as they were right at the end? I see logic to both outcomes," Hinata told him distractedly, focused on one stubborn spot on the floor.
"We'll be ready either way," Naruto assured her, though the idea of a horny Hinata had a predictable effect on his anatomy.
They passed the time with cleaning, while Hinata's Shadow Clones stood out of the way doing what they were supposed to be doing. Naruto's own Clones got the window box situated without breaking anything or killing the seedlings and popped themselves soon enough. By the time Tenten and Anko were both expected to start stirring, the apartment was spotless. Which in an odd way just emphasized the poor quality of the whole studio, but Hinata felt satisfied with a job well done regardless.
"If you weren't allowed to study Medical Ninjutsu because that was beneath the Clan Heiress or something, then how are you so good at cleaning?" Naruto asked curiously while getting two large glasses of water prepared for both Wards when they woke up. The Change, for some reason, had a mild dehydrating effect on the subject.
"As punishment for underperforming in 'training', I was often assigned to work shifts with the maids to try and motivate me not to be so 'weak' next time. It was meant to be more humiliating than it really was, my ego wasn't nearly as high as Father seemed to expect it to be," Hinata shrugged.
Tenten was the first to stir. Naruto and Hinata went to where she was laid on the couch and helped her sit up. "Here, we know you're thirsty," Naruto encouraged.
Tenten blindly took the glass and chugged it at speed, spilling a little from the side of her mouth. Naruto and Hinata both tried to ignore the path of the water droplets down her neck and into the cheongsam she'd worn to dinner last night. She opened her eyes and immediately tensed.
"It's… daylight. Why is it daylight?" were the first words out the slightly older Genin's mouth.
"Our bad, we forgot to mention you'd be unconscious for 14 hours. Progenitor thing," Naruto said delicately, bracing for anything.
Tenten took a deep breath with a certain forced calm. "What time is it?"
"9:27," Hinata answered promptly.
"I have less than 3 minutes to somehow get changed and be at my Team's training ground. And I'm not that good," Tenten said, looking more resigned than upset. Was that good or bad?
"Don't suppose the old 'overslept' excuse will work? It's even a little true," Naruto offered halfheartedly.
"I am set to get a 15-minute lecture on my 'un-youthful conduct' from Gai-sensei for not being punctual before being assigned drills at Lee-level intensity to make up for it. To say nothing of Neji's sanctimonious sneer and his own 30-minute lecture on how it was my 'Fate' to be late today and prove my inadequacy as a ninja and human being. With all due respect to Hinata and her sexual prowess, last night wasn't worth all that. You both owe me for this," Tenten said with a bit of heat to her words.
"Agreed, it was our own fault not to warn you about the brief coma from first exposure to Naruto-kun's fluids," Hinata agreed with their Ward of precisely 14 hours.
"And what the hell causes that, anyway?" Tenten asked. She went to stretch and blinked. "Also whoa, I feel WAY better than even 14 hours of quality sleep should account for."
"There's a narcotic/muscle relaxant in the pre. First taste equals 14 hours out, second means 4, third on you stay conscious from building a tolerance," Naruto explained. "As for your current 'buzz', that's the Change. The template you're going to mutate to match is of a female shaped like Hinata in the very best of health. You're going to feel this way if not better after every dose of my cum you drink as you get 'restored' to the new baseline."
"Right, the Change. Wards. Progenitors. Connections. All that jazz," Tenten rattled off. "Wow, this is my life now, isn't it?"
"Yes," Hinata nodded, saying no more than that.
Tenten gave a heavy sigh. "Well, my own damn fault for being easily seduced and impulsive. Still, this is hardly my worst morning after. Now, the sooner I face the music the better. Anything else I urgently need to know before I take my walkashame out your door?"
"We covered all the major points last night, the 14 hours really was a goof on our part. You're part of my network so your chakra is communal now, but don't worry it goes both ways. You're basically 'dating' me and Hinata-chan until you make up your mind whether to join our immortal marriage. And apart from getting a few more doses of my cum to finish the Change, you can get back to life as normal otherwise," Naruto laid out.
"Duly noted." In short order, Tenten had written down her address and her typical week's schedule so they could coordinate when to see each other again. With a strained wave, she walked right out the door in last night's outfit and didn't look back.
*Could have gone worse,* Naruto ultimately decided. Before Hinata could respond, Anko started to wake up.
"Day-um. That was a two-syllable 'damn', Brat and Girly, which I only break out for special occasions," Anko said, standing up with much less disorientation than Tenten had exhibited. "Clothes feel a bit tight, which can only be a good thing in this context. And I feel ready to free-climb Hokage Rock. Nice work, Brat."
"You're welcome," Naruto said, offering the glass of water.
Anko methodically drained the glass, then tossed it carelessly over her shoulder. Luckily, it hit the bed and didn't bounce or break. "Anyway, I got a job to get to. I'll pop in when I have a free moment. Anko exits!" She did a Body Flicker before either of them could react.
"Now what? We have a couple hours before we need to leave for lunch with Kurenai-sensei," Hinata asked after Naruto got the glasses and went to dry and store them.
Naruto hummed in thought. His eyes were drawn to the neatly stacked books about the Uzumaki Clan he sped-read in one evening. "Well, let's take those back. I got so excited about finding out about my clan I forgot to check out anything about Sealing Jutsu. And I'm even more interested in it now I know that's what Uzumaki's are famous for. Then I guess we can just walk around for a while if there's nothing better to do."
They did just that, Hinata accompanying her husband as he returned all the texts from the Shinobi Library. Naruto got as many books and scrolls about Sealing Jutsu under D-rank clearance as he was legally allowed. Shadow Clones made to ferry them back to the apartment and join Hinata's in reading, Naruto took Hinata's hand and just let his feet take him where they would. They didn't even talk or exchange Telepathy that much during the walk, simply soaking up the quality time shared together.
They arrived at Yakiniku Q around 11:55. They waited outside the entrance until Hinata recognized half of an approaching couple. "Kurenai-sensei!"
Naruto got his first look at the woman Hinata had described in the bath that morning. She'd hit the nail on the head, Kurenai was almost exactly how he'd pictured her. Though the wary look in those scarlet eyes that didn't match her smile struck him as cause for concern. Walking next to her, not holding hands but a little closer than proper for just an acquaintance, was a man in standard Hidden Leaf Chunin/Jonin attire. The sash marking him as a former member of the 12 Guardian Ninja added some individuality to the otherwise cookie-cutter look. He was so obviously related to Hiruzen it wasn't funny, they were nearly identical apart from different hair colors and types of beards.
"Hinata, good to see you," Kurenai said with a nod and a polite distance. "You certainly have… turned over a new leaf since we last saw each other."
"True, but it's all for the best, Kurenai-sensei, believe it!" Hinata assured her tutor. Naruto suppressed a dopey grin at her picking up his verbal tic. "So, who's the lucky man who managed to turn your head?"
"Asuma Sarutobi. And we're just friends," he said, both of them getting an odd sort of blush at the same time.
*What's up with that? I thought you said they were dating,* Naruto asked Hinata privately.
*Kurenai's from a civilian family, she's had to claw her way up the ranks to Jonin. People would assume she's sleeping with the Hokage's son to get ahead rather than out of mutual attraction. They keep it all behind closed doors and have 'secret' dates in public where they pretend it's platonic. Just humor them,* Hinata's mind-voice replied. Out loud she said, "Now, I'm sure we all have much to discuss! Let's get a table!"
Naruto was a tad tense as they walked in, but the host turned out to be one of the few ignorant of Naruto's status. They were led to a table with a built-in brazier and directed to look at the multiple copies of the menu on the walls for reference.
"So, Hinata, what color is the sunset?" Kurenai asked randomly once they'd all gotten complimentary waters.
Hinata narrowed her eyes back at her tutor. "Tangerine, and I'm insulted that you're asking in the first place."
"I'm lost," Naruto admitted.
Asuma was glancing between his date and Naruto's. "It's a code that Hidden Leaf kunoichi use to check if the other is compromised. Kurenai-chan basically just asked Hinata here whether you're kidnapping, coercing, drugging, and/or raping her."
"Well, nice to meet you too," Naruto said flatly.
"You got married in two days, she claims her very DNA has been rewritten by some Bloodline Limit that appeared from nowhere, and she's behaving nothing like the girl I've known for half a year. I make no apologies," Kurenai said, not repentant in the slightest.
The waitress came to get drink orders, and seemed to eagerly back away when she picked up the tension in the air around them.
"I asked for this, Kurenai-sensei. Naruto-kun explained every relevant detail to the Change and becoming his Ward, and I made the informed decision to go through with it," Hinata stated, every syllable enunciated clearly. "Getting banished from the Hyuuga Clan was a bit more extreme a consequence than expected, I will admit. Getting married just made good sense since we'd be living together and I'd imprinted on him anyway. And are you saying it's a bad thing I'm no longer a stuttering waif afraid of her own shadow?"
"I, too, am lost. I thought this was just lunch with one of Kurenai-chan's freelance students and her new husband. Is something going on here?" Asuma asked.
"I think we all came here with different goals," Naruto said lightly. "I came to pitch you two to join my network of Wards, which involves a whole explanation of my Bloodline Limit and how it works. Hinata-chan came to offer me support and try and ease my way with Kurenai since they know each other. Kurenai, I think, came here to try and 'save' Hinata-chan from me, which says all kinds of things about how she sees me before we even properly met. You're the only one who came here for the food, Asuma."
"Wait… thought I recognized you. You're the Uzumaki kid, right? The one who got the new Bloodline Limit with zero warning?" Asuma titled his head. He didn't seem to have any strong opinion about Naruto either good or bad, which was actually pretty lucky considering how most people viewed the Jinchuuriki.
"You mean it's real?" Kurenai hissed to her date, turning to look at him.
"If it wasn't real, then how else would I have ended up looking like this? Did you just assume Naruto-kun pulled an Orochimaru and did mad science experiments on me? I'm losing respect for you rapidly, Kurenai-sensei," Hinata said with a frown.
"Okay, this is going nowhere. Let's just start over. Hi, Naruto Uzumaki, and this is my wife Hinata. We're both freshly graduated Genin. And you?" Naruto asked with an attempt at good manners.
"Kurenai Yuuhi, and I care about Hinata more than her own father," Kurenai said, some fire showing in her previously cold face.
"Like that's saying much," Hinata snorted. "And while I appreciate the reason you're so concerned, I will remind you I'm not a child. I am a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. You taught me that. Which is why I wonder at your flaming hypocrisy in treating me like some helpless damsel seduced by the villain rather than believe I choose Naruto-kun of my own volition."
"Asuma Sarutobi, innocent bystander," the other man said half-jokingly, though he seemed to be wishing he hadn't taken the wall seat and trapped himself in this situation.
The waitress came back with the drinks. "Can we interest you in an appetizer today?" she asked hesitantly.
"Actually, I'm not sure we'll be eating lunch here after all. Our apologies," Hinata said, getting ready to stand up and leave.
"Wait," Kurenai said, something relaxing in her frigid hauteur. "Please, stay. You wanted to talk. So let's talk. I'll listen, I promise."
Hinata met her tutor's gaze and relaxed back into her seat after a beat. She turned back to the waitress and gave a sunny smile. "We're still deciding, but how about a plate of those pan-seared gyoza while we make up our minds? Thank you!"
They all took a bit to cool off after the waitress left. Kurenai sipped her iced tea and set it down before focusing intently on Hinata. "If I made assumptions, it's only because the dots I have don't seem to make any logical shape. Walk me through what happened, Hinata. A week ago today, I left you with good luck for the Graduation Exam. Now you're married, have had a radical transformation seemingly both in body and in mind, got banished from your birth clan, and there's been repeated references to your husband's 'new' Bloodline Limit which I previously thought wasn't possible. Make this make sense, please."
"Very well, but only if you swear to keep an open mind. It's a rather extraordinary tale," Hinata said, equally as intent. "That goes for you as well, Sarutobi-san."
"I've seen a thing or two, no such thing as too weird to live," the 30-something male shrugged.
Hinata nodded and then turned to Naruto, prompting him to start.
"This all started the day after the Graduation Exam. I randomly passed out for 14 hours, and when I woke up I was in the hospital. According to the Hokage, I 'spontaneously evolved' triple-helix DNA and we called it a new Bloodline Limit. So far as we can tell, it has nothing to do with my 'tenant', I just won the karmic lottery for the most random biological leap in history," Naruto laid out. John Blake and aliens were an S-rank secret, so he tried to make the cover-up convincing. "I'm technically a new species, not even a human with a special trick like the Hyuuga with the Byakugan. We settled on calling me a 'Progenitor' now. There's a lot of ways I'm different from a regular person, but the one that's most relevant to why we asked you here is the unique proteins I now produce."
"Keeping up so far. Are these proteins the cause for Hinata's metamorphosis?" Kurenai asked, already connecting the dots. She was a Jonin and all.
"Yes," Hinata confirmed. "The proteins, when introduced into a subject, trigger extensive mutations that seem designed to mold a person to fit a standard template." She pulled out her wallet and slipped out both her old Shinobi ID as 'Hinata Hyuuga' and her new one as 'Hinata Uzumaki'. "Compare and contrast," she said, offering them to Kurenai and Asuma.
"Hmm… just stating the obvious: taller, chestier, more toned, slightly more attractive in the face. No wonder Kurenai-chan thought something was off, I've never seen anything like this. And it happened in less than 7 days?" Asuma asked once he'd scrutinized both cards.
"We call it the Change and the people who volunteer for it my Wards," Naruto picked up where Hinata left off. "Females who ingest the protein become like Hinata-chan: 5' 9, 32D, as much muscle as possible before it starts getting in the way, distractingly beautiful. Males end up looking like I do now. For context, I used to be 5' 6 and 120 lbs soaking wet. Now look at me. The speed is a mix of the proteins rewriting DNA and subconscious use of chakra to accelerate the process. I can actively speed it up, though, through a completely separate function of the proteins: the Connection."
"The Connection is a link between Naruto-kun's chakra network and every Ward's. He can send and receive chakra remotely no matter where in the world he or the Ward in question is. Combined with the Change, the Progenitor Bloodline Limit's most logical application is to recruit a private army of soldiers genetically customized for combat who happen to all share chakra with their 'master'. Naruto-kun, however, would never be so selfish. He's working with Hokage-sama to only provide the proteins for willing volunteers," Hinata laid out.
"But there's more, isn't there?" Kurenai asked knowingly after their gyoza arrived and they'd all had a bite of the savory dumplings. "You mentioned an 'imprint' and that there was a sexual component to the Change this morning. Elaborate, please."
Naruto sighed. "I didn't ask for this to be the way it works. It's just how it works. There's personality changes inherent to the Change. Every Ward is bisexual, polyamorous, eager to have children, and imprints on their first sexual partner after they're exposed to the proteins. That private army Hinata-chan mentioned? Make it an army of sex slaves. But again, the idea of going that route skeeves me out. I decided to personally only 'feed' the proteins to my personal partners with their consent and otherwise just 'donate' so other Wards could get them indirectly and imprint on someone else. And just to clarify, the proteins are produced by my prostate. The only feasible way to harvest them and introduce them into a potential Ward's system is for them to drink my cum, either straight from the tap or from a filled container."
"Back to the chain of events that led to us being here," Hinata said after both Kurenai and Asuma seemed to mentally blue screen at that information. "I visited Naruto-kun in the hospital the morning after he woke up as a Progenitor. We bonded over the course of the day, and I decided I wanted to become Naruto-kun's Ward as well as imprint directly on him. The next day, my Father learned that I had engaged in oral sex that would result in my DNA being altered and deemed it a crime against the Hyuuga Clan. I was stripped of my name and banished from the Compound. Since I had already imprinted on Naruto-kun, we decided we might as well get married since it was inevitable anyway. We've finished the Change in the days since. In that time frame, Naruto-kun has also indirectly 'fed' two women and one man and made them Wards. I approached Kurenai-sensei this morning with the original goal of seeing if she would be interested in becoming a Ward at least or my sister-wife at most. Given she's in a preexisting relationship with you, Sarutobi-san, the goal now is to try and recruit you both to the network and 'feed' you indirectly if you decide to give informed consent."
"Yeah… I don't know how to respond to that," Asuma said, reaching into a pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He mouthed one and lit it with a snap and some Fire Nature chakra trick like Hiruzen usually used.
"It's a lot to take in," Hinata agreed with a nod at the Sarutobi male.
"So… Uzumaki-san is building a harem?" Kurenai asked with a rather critical tone.
"We are building a harem, Kurenai-sensei. I'm the head wife, and I look forward to the day I have so many sister-wives Naruto-kun needs a damn rota to give us individual attention. That's the Change rewiring my brain to think that way, but I knew that would happen and I went for it anyway. You don't have to approve, but at least respect my choices," Hinata corrected immediately. "And even if you weren't seeing Sarutobi-san, I find myself less inclined to spend eternity with you after this conversation."
"Eternity? Are you being literal?" Kurenai blinked.
"I don't age anymore. Something about super-telomeres in my new triple-helix DNA. And the Change 'cures' everything about a person to fit the template of a Ward. Part of the template is that sweet spot where you've finished puberty but you haven't started getting 'old' yet. My male Ward has a teenage grandson, and now he's physically about as young as I am," Naruto explained. "I mean, a fatal injury or accident or disease would still kill me or any Ward dead. But assuming we avoid all that, me and the network have functional immortality."
"Gods," Asuma huffed, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "There's a panacea in your balls. That's a new one."
"So, just to sum it all up, drinking my cum will give you a better body, tweak your personality to be a lot more sexual albeit perfectly loyal to one primer partner, and make you a node in my communal chakra network. It's insane, but it's the truth. Take all the time in the world to decide either way, but either of you becoming my Ward is now on the table. Indirectly, I'm not going to try and 'poach' Kurenai from you, Asuma, and I don't swing the way where you could join the harem too. And… that's pretty much it," Naruto said.
The waitress came back for their entree order and they managed to agree on the right platter, which felt like an abrupt transition from the previous topic.
When the raw meat and other ingredients arrived, they silently began to cook them on the table's grill.
"Who else is in your network, Uzumaki-san?" Kurenai finally asked, breaking the quiet that had lasted a good 10 minutes.
"Hinata-chan is the only one I've 'fed' directly. Indirectly, I've recruited Anko Mitarashi, a Genin kunoichi named Tenten, and… Hiruzen Sarutobi," Naruto finally forced out his mouth at the end.
Asuma got a rather dead look in his eyes. "My old man drank your nut milk. Right. Thanks for the lifelong nightmares, kid."
"Hey, it was out of a cup. It's weird but it wasn't like that," Naruto weakly protested, but he was almost just as mortified as Asuma at the reminder.
"On the bright side, the longest-serving Hokage in the village's history now has all that experience and wisdom in the body of an 18 year old in peak fitness for this height and weight," Hinata chimed in, gesturing at Naruto next to her.
Asuma paled. "He could hand me my ass in his 50s. We haven't had a real spar in years, since I came back from the Daimyo's court, but still. That's actually a bit scary. In a good way, may our enemies tremble, but wow…"
"Moving past the absurdity of how to become a Ward, this sounds like a major boon to the village. Improved fitness, the idea of sharing chakra is as intriguing as it is outlandish, no aging… of course, assuming Uzumaki-san stays loyal to the Hidden Leaf or doesn't start abusing his powers," Kurenai for whatever reason felt the need to say.
"Look, lady, if you think I'm a monster just because of you-know-what then have the guts to come out and say it," Naruto ground out.
"I think you've been treated like a monster all your life, and that must have been hard. The idea you truly bear the Hidden Leaf no ill will is laughably slim," Kurenai clarified, though she had the good grace to look contrite.
"What it must be like for people to have faith in you," Naruto sighed.
"I have faith in you, Naruto-kun." Hinata's words were fervent.
"I know, honey. And that's all I need," Naruto said tenderly. Then he refocused on Kurenai. "This is my home. I am a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village. I became a ninja for my own reasons, but I swore to protect everyone in the village with my life the moment I put on this headband. Not saying I'd like it for a good 80% of the villagers, but being an asshole isn't a capital offense last time I checked. How people treat me, that's on them. How I react, that's on me. I'm willing to be the bigger person, forgive and forget my hellish childhood and focus on doing my job. And one day, I'll prove I'm worthy of their respect and love when I become Hokage. Believe it."
Kurenai stared at him flatly for a minute as she seemed to process that. Then her mask melted for just a moment, and she looked at him with something like admiration and approval. "I believe you," she said simply. Then she looked down and flipped a few cuts of meat.
"So, Sarutobi-san, exactly how are you related to Konohamaru?" Hinata asked to change the subject.
"I get to be 'fun Uncle Asuma' and my brother is the one who has to handle the headache of raising that pain in the ass," Asuma chuckled, and the moment passed.
They ate the tasty lunch, paid, and parted ways at the exit. "We'll get back to you," Kurenai told them both before she turned and walked away with Asuma beside her.
*You were right, she's a total mom. And more in the 'I know better' and 'because I say so!' way than the hot MILF way I was hoping for,* Naruto told Hinata as they returned to their apartment.
*That was a side of her I've never seen. Asking me about the sunset, really? I'm happy now, I thought she'd be happy for me. Instead it was a battle just to get her to listen to our side of the story,* Hinata grumbled in her thoughts.
*Well, got there in the end,* Naruto pointed out, counting their victories not their losses. *And they'll at least give it an honest think, that's something.*
They got to the apartment, where the majority of Hinata's Shadow Clones were still working. Male Hinata and his female partner, distractingly naked in the middle of the apartment, gave salutes. Then they popped.
The original Hinata made the most indecent sound Naruto had ever heard. In an instant, her nipples were straining against the fabric of her dress, her underwear got so soaked that Naruto could smell it, and her eyes filled with completely unrestrained lust and need.
"So sex memories from Shadow Clones turn you on?" Naruto asked, a little frightened and a lot horny at the expression on his wife's face.
Her response was to tackle him and take him right on the apartment floor.