Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, Drew Pickles, an investment banker and father of the famous baby, Tommy Pickles. Welcome, Drew!
Drew Pickles: (nervously) Thanks, Dr. Brule. It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Drew, tell us about your job. What's it like being an investment banker?
Drew Pickles: (professionally) Well, Dr. Brule, it's a challenging and rewarding career. I help clients make smart investment decisions and manage their finances.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Oh, yeah! Investments! (pauses) So, do you like, uh, play with babies all day?
Drew Pickles: (irritated) No, Dr. Brule, that's not my job. I'm a financial expert, not a babysitter.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Oh, right! (pauses) So, what's your favorite type of investment? (starts playing with a nearby toy)
Drew Pickles: (angrily) Dr. Brule, can we please focus on the interview? This is ridiculous!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) What's wrong, Drew? (still playing with the toy)
Drew Pickles: (fed up) That's it, I've had enough! (storms out of the interview)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Well, that was awkward! (laughs nervously) Tune in next time for more "Brule's Rules"! (to himself) Note to self: work on interviewing skills...
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, David Read, a caterer and father of Arthur Read. Welcome, David!
David Read: (nervously) Thanks, Dr. Brule. It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, David, tell us about your job. What's it like being a caterer?
David Read: (professionally) Well, Dr. Brule, it's a lot of hard work, but I enjoy providing delicious food for people's special events.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Oh, yeah! Food! (pauses) So, do you like, uh, make a lot of sandwiches?
David Read: (patiently) Yes, Dr. Brule, I do make sandwiches, but I also prepare a wide variety of other dishes.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Oh, like what? (starts playing with a nearby utensil)
David Read: (trying to stay focused) Well, Dr. Brule, I've made everything from soups to desserts.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Soups? (pauses) What's your favorite kind of soup?
David Read: (sighs) Dr. Brule, can we please stay on track?
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) What track? (continues playing with the utensil)
David Read: (frustrated) This interview is going nowhere. (gets up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Well, that was awkward! (laughs nervously) Tune in next time for more "Brule's Rules"! (to himself) Note to self: work on focus...
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, Dr. Katz, a professional therapist. Welcome, Dr. Katz!
Dr. Katz: (calmly) Thanks, Dr. Brule. It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Dr. Katz, tell us about your job. What's it like being a therapist?
Dr. Katz: (professionally) Well, Dr. Brule, it's a rewarding career helping people work through their issues and improve their mental health.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Oh, yeah! Mental health! (pauses) So, do you like, uh, listen to people's problems all day?
Dr. Katz: (patiently) Yes, Dr. Brule, that's a big part of my job.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Oh, like a priest! (starts playing with a nearby stress ball)
Dr. Katz: (trying to stay focused) Well, Dr. Brule, it's a bit different from that.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Different? (pauses) How so?
Dr. Katz: (calmly) Well, Dr. Brule, therapy is a scientific approach to helping people, whereas priesthood is a religious role.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Science? Religion? (pauses) What's the difference? (continues playing with the stress ball)
Dr. Katz: (sighs) I think we're done here, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) What? Oh, yeah! The interview! (laughs nervously) Well, that was...enlightening! Tune in next time for more "Brule's Rules"! (to himself) Note to self: work on understanding the concept of therapy...
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, Charlotte Pickles, CEO of MergeCorp. Welcome, Charlotte!
Charlotte Pickles: (confidently) Thanks, Dr. Brule. It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Charlotte, tell us about your job. What's it like being a CEO?
Charlotte Pickles: (professionally) Well, Dr. Brule, it's a challenging and rewarding role leading a major corporation like MergeCorp.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Oh, yeah! Corporations! (pauses) So, do you like, uh, make a lot of money?
Charlotte Pickles: (smiling) Well, Dr. Brule, I'm compensated fairly for my work.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Fairly? (pauses) What's that mean?
Charlotte Pickles: (patiently) It means I receive a suitable salary for my position.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Suitable? (pauses) What's suitable? (starts playing with a nearby pen)
Charlotte Pickles: (trying to stay focused) Dr. Brule, can we please stay on track?
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) What track? (continues playing with the pen)
Charlotte Pickles: (frustrated) This interview is going nowhere. (gets up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Well, that was...short! (laughs nervously) Tune in next time for more "Brule's Rules"! (to himself) Note to self: work on understanding business terminology...
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, Professor Frink, the brilliant and eccentric scientist from Springfield. Welcome, Professor!
Professor Frink: (nervously) Ah, thank you, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Professor, tell us about your work. What's it like being a scientist?
Professor Frink: (excitedly) Oh, it's wonderful! I get to invent gadgets and machines that can change the world!
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Gadgets? Machines? (pauses) Oh, yeah! Like that thingamajig you built that one time!
Professor Frink: (proudly) Ah, yes! My latest invention, the Frink-o-matic!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Frink-o-matic? (pauses) What does it do?
Professor Frink: (enthusiastically) It can turn thoughts into reality!
Dr. Steve Brule: (skeptically) Thoughts into reality? (pauses) That sounds like science fiction!
Professor Frink: (defensively) It's not science fiction! It's science fact!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Science fact? (pauses) What's the difference?
Professor Frink: (frustrated) Dr. Brule, you're not listening!
Dr. Steve Brule: (apologetically) Sorry, Professor. I'm just not very good at this interviewing thing.
Professor Frink: (exasperated) That's an understatement!
Dr. Steve Brule: (curiously) So, Professor, can you explain how the Frink-o-matic works?
Professor Frink: (excitedly) Ah, yes! It uses a combination of quantum physics and neurology to read brain waves and manifest them in the physical world!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Quantum physics? Neurology? (pauses) What's the difference?
Professor Frink: (patiently) Quantum physics is the study of subatomic particles, and neurology is the study of the brain. Together, they can create amazing things!
Dr. Steve Brule: (skeptically) Amazing things? (pauses) Like what?
Professor Frink: (proudly) Like a machine that can turn thoughts into reality!
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Wow! That's amazing! (pauses) Wait, what were we talking about again?
Professor Frink: (facepalming) Dr. Brule...
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the legendary musician and composer, Frank Zappa! Welcome, Frank!
Frank Zappa: (sarcastically) Oh, joy. Another interview with a clueless journalist.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) So, Frank, tell us about your music. What inspires you?
Frank Zappa: (sighs) My music is a commentary on society, politics, and culture. I'm inspired by the absurdity of it all.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Absurdity? (pauses) What do you mean?
Frank Zappa: (patiently) I mean that society is full of contradictions and hypocrisies. My music reflects that.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Contradictions? Hypocrisies? (pauses) Oh, yeah! Like that one song you wrote... (starts humming "Fish Heads")
Frank Zappa: (facepalming) Dr. Brule, that's not even one of my songs!
Dr. Steve Brule: (apologetically) Sorry, Frank. I'm just not very good at this interviewing thing.
Frank Zappa: (sarcastically) That's an understatement.
Dr. Steve Brule: (curiously) So, Frank, can you explain your creative process?
Frank Zappa: (sighs) It's complicated. I draw inspiration from everything around me, and I use my music to comment on the world.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Comment on the world? (pauses) What do you mean?
Frank Zappa: (frustrated) Dr. Brule, you're not listening!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Listening? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I'm listening! (starts playing with a nearby object)
Frank Zappa: (exasperated) This interview is over.
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the wealthy and evil Mr. Burns! Welcome, Mr. Burns!
Mr. Burns: (in a sinister tone) Ah, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Mr. Burns, tell us about your... um... business ventures.
Mr. Burns: (smiling evilly) Ah, yes. My beloved Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. It's a cash cow, I tell ya!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Cash cow? (pauses) What's that mean?
Mr. Burns: (patiently) It means it makes me a lot of money, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Money? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love money! (starts playing with a nearby piggy bank)
Mr. Burns: (amused) Ah, Dr. Brule. You're a simple man, aren't you?
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Simple? (pauses) What do you mean?
Mr. Burns: (smirking) Never mind, Dr. Brule. Just keep playing with your piggy bank.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Piggy bank! (continues playing)
Mr. Burns: (to himself) This interview is a waste of my time. (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Mr. Burns! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Frank Zappa! (excitedly) I love his music! (starts humming "Dare to Be Stupid")
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the foul-mouthed and alcoholic robot, Bender! Welcome, Bender!
Bender: (in a robotic voice) Ah, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here. (burps) Excuse me.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Bender, tell us about your... um... hobbies.
Bender: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah! I love to drink, gamble, and insult humans! (laughs)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Insult humans? (pauses) What's that mean?
Bender: ( mockingly) Oh, Dr. Brule, you're so naive! It means I love to make fun of humans like you! (laughs)
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Make fun of humans? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love humor! (starts laughing awkwardly)
Bender: (amused) Ah, Dr. Brule. You're a riot! (continues laughing)
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Humor! (pauses) Wait, what were we talking about again?
Bender: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah! My hobbies! (rolls his eyes)
Dr. Steve Brule: (apologetically) Sorry, Bender. I'm just not very good at this interviewing thing.
Bender: (laughing) That's an understatement! (continues laughing and drinking)
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Yeah! Laughing and drinking! (joins in)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the proud and patriotic Texan, Hank Hill! Welcome, Hank!
Hank Hill: (in a thick Texas accent) Ah, thank ya, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Hank, tell us about your... um... interests.
Hank Hill: (proudly) Well, Dr. Brule, I love my lawn, my propane business, and my family!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Lawn? Propane? (pauses) What's that mean?
Hank Hill: (patiently) It means I take pride in my yard, my work, and my loved ones, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Loved ones? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love my cat, Mr. Whiskers! (starts playing with a nearby cat toy)
Hank Hill: (chuckling) Ah, Dr. Brule, you're a unique fella.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Unique? (pauses) What do you mean?
Hank Hill: (laughing) Never mind, Dr. Brule. Just keep playing with your cat toy.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Cat toy! (continues playing)
Hank Hill: (shaking his head) Well, it's been...enlightening, Dr. Brule. (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Hank! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Bender from Futurama! (excitedly) I love robots! (starts playing with a nearby robot toy)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the eccentric and enthusiastic Mr. Dink from the classic Nickelodeon show Doug! Welcome, Mr. Dink!
Mr. Dink: (excitedly) OH BOY, DR. BRULE! I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Mr. Dink, tell us about your... um... interests.
Mr. Dink: (rapidly) WELL, DR. BRULE, I LOVE COLLECTING SODA POP TABS, PLAYING WITH MY PET SNAKE, AND WEARING MY FAVORITE HAWAIIAN SHIRTS!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Soda pop tabs? Snake? Hawaiian shirts? (pauses) What's the connection?
Mr. Dink: (excitedly) OH, DR. BRULE, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE JOY OF LIFE! I FIND BEAUTY IN THE LITTLE THINGS!
Dr. Steve Brule: (distracted) Little things? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love little things too! (starts playing with a nearby stress ball)
Mr. Dink: (laughing) DR. BRULE, YOU'RE A KINDRED SPIRIT!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Kindred spirit? (pauses) What do you mean?
Mr. Dink: (patiently) Never mind, Dr. Brule. Just keep playing with your stress ball.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Stress ball! (continues playing)
Mr. Dink: (laughing) WELL, IT'S BEEN FUN, DR. BRULE! (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Mr. Dink! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Hank Hill from King of the Hill! (excitedly) I love propane! (starts playing with a nearby propane tank)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the charming and manipulative Lindsay Naegle from The Simpsons! Welcome, Lindsay!
Lindsay Naegle: (smiling sweetly) Thank you, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Lindsay, tell us about your... um... career.
Lindsay Naegle: (glibly) Oh, I've had a varied career, Dr. Brule. I've worked in PR, marketing, and even politics.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) PR? Marketing? Politics? (pauses) What's the difference?
Lindsay Naegle: (laughing) Oh, Dr. Brule, you're so charmingly naive!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Naive? (pauses) What do you mean?
Lindsay Naegle: (smiling) Never mind, Dr. Brule. Just keep being your adorable self.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Adorable! (continues smiling)
Lindsay Naegle: (manipulatively) So, Dr. Brule, I hear you have a lot of influence in this town. Maybe we could work together on a project?
Dr. Steve Brule: (eagerly) Project? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love projects! (starts playing with a nearby building block)
Lindsay Naegle: (laughing) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule. (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Lindsay! Come back! (realizes) Oh, she's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Mr. Dink from Doug! (excitedly) I love soda pop tabs! (starts playing with a nearby soda can)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the infamous Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons! Welcome, Comic Book Guy!
Comic Book Guy: (sarcastically) Oh, joy. Another opportunity to waste my time.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Comic Book Guy, tell us about your... um... comic book collection.
Comic Book Guy: (proudly) Ah, my collection. It's the best in the world. I have every issue of Radioactive Man, including the rare ones.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Radioactive Man? (pauses) What's that?
Comic Book Guy: (exasperated) You don't know what Radioactive Man is? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Comic Book Guy: (sarcastically) It means you're not worth my time, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Time? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love time! (starts playing with a nearby clock)
Comic Book Guy: (disgusted) This interview is over. (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Comic Book Guy! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Lindsay Naegle from The Simpsons! (excitedly) I love PR specialists! (starts playing with a nearby PR manual)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the notorious Johnny the Homicidal Maniac! Welcome, Johnny!
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: (menacingly) Ah, Dr. Brule. It's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Johnny, tell us about your... um... hobbies.
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: (proudly) Ah, yes. I enjoy killing people, torturing animals, and writing in my diary.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Diary? (pauses) What's that?
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: (exasperated) You don't know what a diary is? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: (menacingly) It means I'm going to kill you, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Kill me? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love games! (starts playing with a nearby toy knife)
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac: (disgusted) This interview is over. (stands up and leaves)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Johnny! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons! (excitedly) I love comic books! (starts playing with a nearby comic book)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the talented and charming Lisa Foiles! Welcome, Lisa!
Lisa Foiles: (smiling) Thanks, Dr. Brule! It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Lisa, tell us about your... um... career.
Lisa Foiles: (laughing) Well, Dr. Brule, I've had a varied career in TV hosting, acting, and writing.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) TV hosting? Acting? Writing? (pauses) What's the difference?
Lisa Foiles: (patiently) Well, Dr. Brule, TV hosting is when you present a show, acting is when you play a character, and writing is when you create content.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Content? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love content! (starts playing with a nearby script)
Lisa Foiles: (laughing) I think we're going to get along just fine, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Get along! (continues playing with the script)
Lisa Foiles: (smiling) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule. Thanks for having me.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Thanks? (pauses) Oh, yeah! Thanks! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Johnny the Homicidal Maniac! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the tough and rugged Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butt-Head! Welcome, Coach!
Coach Buzzcut: (gruffly) Thanks, Dr. Brule. It's great to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Coach, tell us about your... um... coaching style.
Coach Buzzcut: (authoritatively) Well, Dr. Brule, I believe in tough love and discipline. My teams may not always win, but they'll be darn good at following orders!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Orders? (pauses) What's that?
Coach Buzzcut: (exasperated) You don't know what orders are? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Coach Buzzcut: (gruffly) It means I'm going to have to start yelling at you, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yelling? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love yelling! (starts yelling randomly)
Coach Buzzcut: (impressed) Well, I'll be darned. You're a natural, Dr. Brule!
Dr. Steve Brule: (still yelling) Thanks? (pauses) Oh, yeah! Thanks! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Lisa Foiles! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the bizarre and enigmatic Homsar from Homestar Runner! Welcome, Homsar!
Homsar: (in a strange, warbly voice) Ah, Dr. Brule, it's a pleasure to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Homsar, tell us about your... um... interests.
Homsar: (oddly) I enjoy doing... things. And saying... words.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Things? Words? (pauses) What do you mean?
Homsar: (mysteriously) You wouldn't understand, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Understand? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love understanding! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Homsar: (strangely) Ah, Dr. Brule, you are a curious creature.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Creature? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love creatures! (starts playing with a nearby stuffed animal)
Homsar: (enigmatically) Indeed, Dr. Brule. Indeed.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Indeed? (pauses) What do you mean?
Homsar: (mysteriously) Nothing, Dr. Brule. Nothing at all.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Nothing? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love nothing! (starts playing with a nearby empty box)
Homsar: (strangely) Well, it's been...enlightening, Dr. Brule. (exits)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Homsar! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Coach Buzzcut from Beavis and Butt-Head! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the lovable and psychotic Flippy from Happy Tree Friends! Welcome, Flippy!
Flippy: (in a high-pitched voice) Hiya, Doc! giggles
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Flippy, tell us about your... um... hobbies.
Flippy: (excitedly) Oh, I love to play with my friends! And by play, I mean torture and kill them! giggles
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Torture and kill? (pauses) What do you mean?
Flippy: (matter-of-factly) You know, the usual. Disemboweling, decapitation, that sort of thing. giggles
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Disemboweling? Decapitation? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love words that start with "D"! (starts playing with a nearby dictionary)
Flippy: (confused) Uh, okay, Doc. giggles nervously
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Yeah! Words! (continues playing with the dictionary)
Flippy: (awkwardly) Well, it's been fun, Doc. giggles I think I'll go now.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Go? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love going! (starts playing with a nearby toy car)
Flippy: (relieved) Goodbye, Doc! exits
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Goodbye? (pauses) What do you mean? (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Homsar from Homestar Runner! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the infamous Tommy DeVito from Goodfellas! Welcome, Tommy!
Tommy: (in a thick New York accent) Whaddaya mean, "welcome"? I'm only here because I gotta be.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Tommy, tell us about your... um... business ventures.
Tommy: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. I'm a businessman. I sell stolen goods, loan shark, and bust heads. You know, the usual.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Stolen goods? Loan shark? Bust heads? (pauses) What do you mean?
Tommy: (exasperated) You don't know what I mean? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Tommy: (angrily) Forget it, Doc. You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Understand? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love understanding! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Tommy: (disgusted) You're a weirdo, Doc.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Weirdo? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love weirdos! (continues playing with the puzzle)
Tommy: (fed up) I'm outta here. (exits)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Tommy! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Flippy from Happy Tree Friends! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the grumpy and lovable Mr. Horse from Ren and Stimpy! Welcome, Mr. Horse!
Mr. Horse: (in a deadpan voice) Hello, Dr. Brule. I'm only here because I was forced to.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Mr. Horse, tell us about your... um... interests.
Mr. Horse: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah. I love taking long walks on the beach, watching sunsets, and getting annoyed by Ren and Stimpy's antics.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Annoyed? (pauses) What do you mean?
Mr. Horse: (exasperated) You don't know what I mean? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Mr. Horse: (resigned) Forget it, Doc. You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Understand? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love understanding! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Mr. Horse: (disapprovingly) You're a strange one, Doc.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Strange one? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love strange ones! (continues playing with the puzzle)
Mr. Horse: (fed up) I'm outta here. (exits)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Mr. Horse! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Tommy from Goodfellas! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the strict and lovable Principal Prickly from Recess! Welcome, Principal Prickly!
Principal Prickly: (in a stern voice) Thank you, Dr. Brule. I'm here to ensure that my students are behaving properly.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Principal Prickly, tell us about your... um... educational philosophy.
Principal Prickly: (authoritatively) I believe in discipline, structure, and following the rules.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Rules? (pauses) What do you mean?
Principal Prickly: (exasperated) You don't know what I mean? (sighs) Never mind.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Never mind? (pauses) What do you mean?
Principal Prickly: (resigned) Forget it, Doc. You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Understand? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love understanding! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Principal Prickly: (disapprovingly) You're a strange one, Doc.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Strange one? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love strange ones! (continues playing with the puzzle)
Principal Prickly: (fed up) I'm outta here. (exits)
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Wait, Principal Prickly! Come back! (realizes) Oh, he's gone. (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Mr. Horse from Ren and Stimpy! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the fashionable and popular Ashleys from Recess! Welcome, Ashleys!
Ashley A: (in a valley girl voice) Oh my gosh, thanks for having us, Dr. Brule!
Ashley B: (also in a valley girl voice) Yeah, we're like, so excited to be here!
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Ashleys, tell us about your... um... fashion sense.
Ashley A: (proudly) Oh, we're like, totally into fashion! We love shopping and looking cute!
Ashley B: (also proudly) Yeah, we're like, the most popular girls in school!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Popular? (pauses) What do you mean?
Ashley A: (exasperated) You don't know what we mean? (giggles) Never mind!
Ashley B: (also giggling) Yeah, it's like, totally obvious!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Obvious? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love obvious! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Ashley A: (laughing) Oh my gosh, Dr. Brule, you're like, so weird!
Ashley B: (also laughing) Yeah, but like, in a cute way!
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Cute? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love cute! (continues playing with the puzzle)
Ashley A: (giggling) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule!
Ashley B: (also giggling) Yeah, let's come back soon!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Come back? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love coming back! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Principal Prickly from Recess! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the lovable and awkward Brandon Higsby from As Told By Ginger! Welcome, Brandon!
Brandon Higsby: (nervously) Thanks, Dr. Brule. I'm, uh, happy to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Brandon, tell us about your... um... interests.
Brandon Higsby: (sheepishly) Well, I like to draw and write stories.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Draw and write stories? (pauses) What do you mean?
Brandon Higsby: (explained) I like to create my own comic books and cartoons.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Comic books and cartoons? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love comic books and cartoons! (starts playing with a nearby comic book)
Brandon Higsby: (laughing nervously) Yeah, I guess we have similar interests, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Similar interests? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love similar interests! (continues playing with the comic book)
Brandon Higsby: (smiling) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Fun? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love fun! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! The Ashleys from Recess! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the renowned artist Marc Chagall! Welcome, Marc!
Marc Chagall: (in a thick French accent) Merci, Dr. Brule. I am delighted to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Marc, tell us about your... um... art.
Marc Chagall: (smiling) Ah, my art! It is a reflection of my dreams, my imagination, my soul.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Dreams? Imagination? Soul? (pauses) What do you mean?
Marc Chagall: (explained) I paint what I feel, what I see in my mind's eye. Colors, shapes, forms, they all come together to create a world of fantasy and reality.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Fantasy and reality? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love fantasy and reality! (starts playing with a nearby puzzle)
Marc Chagall: (laughing) Ah, Dr. Brule, you are a unique individual, no?
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Unique individual? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love being unique! (continues playing with the puzzle)
Marc Chagall: (smiling) Well, it has been a pleasure, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Pleasure? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love pleasure! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Julie Smockford and Sandra Scoddle from Pelswick! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the internet pioneer Max Goldberg, owner of YTMND! Welcome, Max!
Max Goldberg: (smiling) Thanks, Dr. Brule. I'm excited to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: (awkwardly) So, Max, tell us about your... um... website.
Max Goldberg: (laughing) Well, Dr. Brule, YTMND is a site where users can create and share humorous web pages using images, music, and captions.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Humorous web pages? (pauses) What do you mean?
Max Goldberg: (explained) You know, like a meme? A funny image or joke that gets shared online?
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Meme? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love memes! (starts playing with a nearby keyboard)
Max Goldberg: (laughing) Well, Dr. Brule, you're certainly an interesting host.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Interesting host? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love being interesting! (continues playing with the keyboard)
Max Goldberg: (smiling) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Fun? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love fun! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Marc Chagall! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Dr. Steve Brule: Welcome to "Brule's Rules"! I'm your host, Dr. Steve Brule. Today, we have a very special guest, the wealthy and charismatic Edward Crosswire, Muffy's father from Arthur! Welcome, Edward!
Edward Crosswire: Thanks, Dr. Brule. I'm thrilled to be here.
Dr. Steve Brule: So, Edward, tell us about your... um... used car salesmanship.
Edward Crosswire: Well, Dr. Brule, I love selling cars and making deals. I'm always looking for ways to expand my business and increase my profits.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Profits? (pauses) What do you mean?
Edward Crosswire: You know, like making money and being successful.
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Oh, yeah! I love money! (starts playing with a nearby cash register)
Edward Crosswire: (laughing) Well, Dr. Brule, you're certainly an interesting host.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Interesting host? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love being interesting! (continues playing with the cash register)
Edward Crosswire: So, Dr. Brule, have you ever thought about buying a used car?
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Used car? (pauses) What's that?
Edward Crosswire: (laughing) Never mind, Dr. Brule. It's a long story.
Dr. Steve Brule: (excitedly) Long story? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love long stories! (starts playing with a nearby toy car)
Edward Crosswire: (smiling) Well, it's been fun, Dr. Brule.
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Fun? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love fun! (looks around) Where's my next guest? (looks at notes) Ah, yes! Marc Chagall! (excitedly) I love... (trails off)
Beavis: (excitedly) Yeah, yeah, yeah! We're gonna be on TV, Butt-Head!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah, yeah! We're gonna be famous, Beavis!
(They both approach Dr. Steve Brule, who is sitting at his desk)
Beavis: (excitedly) Hey, Dr. Brule! We're Beavis and Butt-Head! We're, like, totally cool and stuff!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah! We're, like, the funniest guys ever! You gotta interview us, Dr. Brule!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Interview you? (pauses) What do you mean?
Beavis: (excitedly) Yeah, yeah! We're gonna be on your show! We're gonna make fun of music videos and stuff!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah! And we're gonna, like, totally mock them and make fun of them!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Music videos? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love music videos! (starts playing with a nearby toy)
Beavis: (excitedly) Yeah, yeah! See, Dr. Brule? We're, like, totally on the same wavelength!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah! We're, like, meant to be on your show!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Show? (pauses) What show?
Beavis: (excitedly) Your show, Dr. Brule! "Brule's Rules"!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah! We're gonna be, like, totally famous!
Dr. Steve Brule: (oblivious) Famous? (pauses) Oh, yeah! I love famous! (starts playing with a nearby cash register)
Beavis: (excitedly) Yeah, yeah! See, Dr. Brule? We're, like, totally meant to be!
Butt-Head: (equally excited) Yeah, yeah! Let's get this interview started, Dr. Brule!
Dr. Steve Brule: (confused) Interview? (pauses) What interview?
(Beavis and Butt-Head look at each other, frustrated)
Beavis: (exasperated) Never mind, Dr. Brule. We'll just go somewhere else.
Butt-Head: (equally exasperated) Yeah, yeah. This guy's, like, totally clueless.
(They both walk away, leaving Dr. Steve Brule still playing with his toys)