"Hey Steve"

"Yeah?"

"What are cows doing in this?"

"You'll see."

…

Edward was getting old. Well, older. His bearings were worn, and he started clanking as he puffed along.

"I swear, if you don't shut up with the old comments." grumbled Edward while he pulled some empty cattle trucks to market. Why said market wasn't given a specific name is that the idea of taking animals to meet their end was too much for any sensitive engine, barring Edward or Eagle. Edward also knew that he'd have to take the animals' rotting carcasses to be dumped elsewhere, as none of the other engines liked the smell of rotting carcasses.

The sun shone like normal, birds sang, but Edward was soon heading for trouble. While he passed through Lower Suddery, a distinct clank was heard as three of the trucks rolled off. Edward had to make one long trek to go and get them back. As a result, he was starting to lose patience.

"Come on, come on!" he puffed angrily.

"OH! oh! OH! oh! We! Don't! Want to!" screamed the trucks. Edward puffed and clanked as the trucks rattled and screamed some more.

Edward felt immensely guilty when he spotted some cows grazing nearby.

As he clanked past, they broke through the fence and ran across the line, causing one truck and the brakevan to be left behind.

The guard came out, only to be baffled when he was surrounded by cows.

Edward had felt a sudden jerk (as in a brief tugging sensation, but he felt terrible) but he didn't notice much, due to being used to trucks at this rate.

"D'oh bother these trucks! Why don't they know how to come quietly and give me a rest for once?!" groaned Edward.

Soon, he was at the next station before he or his driver realized what had happened.

…

Later on, at Tidmouth Sheds, Gordon, Henry, 98462, and 87546 all heard about the accident. They all laughed and boasted.

"Fancy allowing cows to break his train!" laughed Gordon.

"They wouldn't dare do that to us!" chuckled Henry.

"We'd show them!" chortled 87546.

"We'd have to make them MOOOve out of the way!" added 98462.

As Edward backed in, he stared straight ahead, trying very hard not to punt the four engines off the line where they stood. But Toby, who was sympathetic with Edward, and was smart enough to never get on his bad side, pulled up and was unsurprisingly very cross.

"I know you couldn't help it, Edward! The four Chuckle Buttholes here have never met cows! I have back in my day and I know how troublesome they can be!"

"You once said it about this Henrietta lady." said 87546. "Just a hunch."

"I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE TO SHOVE YOUR HUNCH!" said Toby.

Meanwhile Edward growled and puffed off, as he had another train to pull.

…

Several days, and many cow puns later. Gordim flew through Edward's station. "BOOP BOOP! MIND THE COWS!"

"D'oh god no." muttered Edward while the passengers got in his coaches.

"Hurry hurry hurry!" puffed Gordon.

"Don't make such a fuss!" snapped his coaches, as Gordon had rudely awoken them earlier. A long stretch of line lay ahead, and in a distance was one of the new bridges. To the keen eyes of Gordon, there seemed to be something on the bridge. His driver soon thought so too, and immediately put on brakes.

"But we're almost at Crosby." groaned a melodramatic Gordon.

"Woah Gordon." The driver said as he shut off steam, though Gordon's wheels briefly spun for no apparent reason.

"Oh PAH! It's only a cow!" said Gordon. "SHOO! SHOO ALREADY!"

He moved slowly onto the bridge, except the cow wouldn't shoo. She had lost her calf, and was feeling quite lonely. "Mooooo." she said sadly.

Everyone tried to send her away, but no matter what, she wouldn't go.

Eventually, Henry arrived, coming from Crosby with his own express train. Gordon grinned cheerfully upon seeing him. "Henry old chum, old buddy!" he called. "Just the engine I was looking for. There's some creature on the line that won't get out of here. Can you use your animal lover words on it?"

"Oh what's this? A cow? I'll settle her with ease!" Henry took a moment to clear his throat. "BE OFF! BE OFF WITH YOU!"

"Moooooooo." said the cow.

Henry looked befuddled and surprised, but hid it behind a smile. The cow decided to move towards the big green engine, thinking he looked like a strangely shaped piece of grass. Henry nervously backed away, much to Gordon's annoyance.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to hurt her, you know."

At Crosby, Henry's guard told the porters about the cow, and warned them about the line ahead being blocked.

"Hang on! That must be Bluebell!" said a porter. "Her calf's here and ready to go to market!"

"How did they get separated?" asked the driver.

"Some fool had a tip off." said a porter.

"Percy will take the calf along." said another porter.

Percy soon appeared, pulling a single van alongside Henry while humming as he puffed right back to the bridge. At the bridge, Bluebell was more than happy to be reunited with her calf once more, and the porter led them towards the cattle truck. Percy watched this with amusement and excitement.

"Not a word!"

"Keep it dark!"

To say that Gordon and Henry felt silly would be an understatement of the month.

…

Later that following night, Gordon was the last of the engines to arrive at the sheds, as Percy had wisely laid low with 87546 and 98462 after the two cows' mysterious disappearances.

"Well, well, well." chuckled Edward. "Two big engines scared of a cow!?"

"SCARED?!" snarled Gordon, trying hard to ignore the knowing smirk from James and Eagle, the joyous grin from Thomas, and the knowing smile from Toby.

"That is just RUBBISH! We just.. didn't want the poor thing to hurt herself by running up against us!"

"Yeah! What he said." said Henry.

"We stopped so as not to excite her. You see what I mean, dear little Edward?" said Gordon.

"Yes I do, Gordon." said Edward, grinning like a loon. Gordon felt that Edward saw too well.

Gordon and Henry spent the rest of the evening in silence after that.