I'm writing in, torn between my duty to my kingdom and my loyalty to a friend, if that's what he still may be. Our kingdom has suffered a series of calamities over the years - droughts, a rebellion, a coup, corrupt leadership, and casinos.

Through it all, there was always one person upon whom I could rely on to help me guard our country against these afflictions - my good ally, Pell.

It was during the overthrow of our illegally seated ruler that my friend Pell made the ultimate sacrifice. The former dictator had set up a megaton bomb to explode in our city. With seconds to spare and without hesitation, Pell flew it out of range.

Here's the critical part. My fellow warrior blew up in the sky in front of thousands of eyewitnesses. Upon this, there can be no doubt.

I was much grieved, but I knew he had died a hero's death and had saved many, many lives. I felt honored to have known and worked alongside him.

Can you imagine my shock when Pell returned, injured but upright? At first, I was overjoyed. My dear friend was not dead!

But then, the suspicions started. How could this be possible? This question plagued me night after night and there was only one answer.

It was not possible. A man cannot clutch a megaton bomb and live after it blows up.

I began studying Pell, looking for signs that he might be a revenant or zombie or some other unholy creature.

My efforts, so far, have proven useless.

Pell's goth make-up would camouflage any skin discoloration. I haven't caught him eating brains, but he does fly off to "patrol" and would have ample opportunity to indulge on bandits.

I've asked for extra garlic in our evening meals but he claims he has a delicate stomach.

I've tried sneaking into his bedroom at night to touch him with a silver blade, but he always wakes up. I think he's getting suspicious of my story of wanting to borrow some socks.

I am certain Pell must be a dead thing. However, he is still performing his duties and there have been no mysterious or untimely deaths in the palace.

Yet. And King Cobra has been looking more pale lately.

AITA for doubting my fellow warrior's credentials as an actual human being? And would I be the a****** if I just staked him through the heart to be on the safe side?

52card_pickup • 04/11/2004

NTA, but you're kinda dumb for not thinking of the more obvious possibilities. Stop thinking supernatural and start thinking evil scientists.

We KNOW the world government is up to some hinky shit. They can clone a person from just a fingernail. And they can brainwash that duplicate with any orders they want.

You're in serious shit, my friend.

Sure, a stake through the heart will kill a clone. But you'll be in prison for murder charges and they will send some new clone to carry out their plot.

The smart play is to feed this clone just enough misinformation not to reveal your hand, but enough to make him look incompetent.

Then the world government will just do your dirty work for you.

Peace out, brother and keep up the good fight!

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