"What the fuck. "
"Hello, Jane."
"Don't you fucking 'hello, Jane' me, Agent Dean." Jane was fuming. If she'd ever seen Gabriel Dean again it would have been too soon, but barely more than six months since the Doyle fiasco was definitely way too soon. She took one quick look over her shoulder at the venomous expression on Maura's face before she turned fully to face him, crossing her arms across her chest.
Agent Dean was largely unfazed by the two sets of daggers being glared at him. Objectively he looked almost exactly the same as when Jane saw him last, but she was still seeing him in a whole new light. She'd been furious when they'd parted but she'd also still been operating under her too-slowly eroding belief that she was straight. Seeing him again, with his weak chin and unimpressive physique and tie that looked too long for him, Jane had the unfortunate realization that she hadn't just been dating men when she didn't want to, she'd been dating profoundly average men when she didn't want to.
Dean stepped further into the morgue, ignoring Maura's unrestrained grumble of irritation.
Jane found herself wishing that it had occurred to her a little sooner than five seconds ago that she and Maura had still not really discussed the role Dean had played in their falling out. They'd dealt with the aftermath of Paddy's shooting, that being Maura's anger that Jane hadn't made any allowances for Maura's complicated feelings, but they'd never discussed the precursor to the shootout. Jane was regretfully realizing this in real time as the cocksure, unavoidably physical reminder of the igniting force of their rift stood before them, with his bad haircut and his carnal knowledge of Jane, reminding everyone how Jane had betrayed Maura's trust by mistakenly believing Gabriel Dean was worthy of her own.
That Bureau arrogance was oozing from his pores as he offered them both an easy smile.
"Good to see you, Doctor Isles." He nodded politely at Maura, as if the last time they'd all been in the same room hadn't involved a hail of bullets. Dean was quite purposefully on his best behaviour and something about it felt outrageously passive aggressive. He looked back to Jane, his smile slackening a little at the expression on Jane's face.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Jane said. Dean's expression evened out into impassive lines.
"I have too much faith in your abilities to believe you're genuinely surprised these murders got flagged at the Bureau, Detective Rizzoli." Dean pulled his cellphone out of the breast pocket of his jacket and typed a quick message. "Whenever there's reason to believe we might have a serial killer, particularly one with a potential association to Charles Hoyt, we're eventually going to make an appearance. Your lieutenant was under strict orders to inform us if another surgical death showed up."
The professional validation that the feds also thought this was a serial killer was fleeting as Jane latched on to the second half of Dean's statement.
"This has nothing to do with Charles Hoyt," Jane snapped. Dean looked up in surprise at Jane's assertion and tucked his phone away. She couldn't believe she was going to have to deal with the FBI intruding on yet another one of her cases, particularly given the mountains of paperwork both she and Dean had to fill out after the near-disaster of his last bout of interference. Why, of anyone they could send, would it be this fucking guy?
"It doesn't exactly fit the pattern," Dean admitted slowly. Jane knew she was being treated like a wild animal and she resented it. "But the FBI isn't prepared to rule out a connection, especially when it happens in your city."
"It's not Hoyt," Jane said again, her voice steely but much calmer. "I knew him. I knew him better than anyone and the only thing in common here is a scalpel." She locked eyes with Dean and sucked a slow breath in through her nostrils, knowing her next statement would be something she'd have to answer for later. "Besides, don't you think it's too early to be so certain it's one suspect? This body very clearly wasn't mutilated by the same person."
Jane heard the incredulous intake of breath behind her, which both gave away her dumb gambit and also foretold of a very annoyed girlfriend. Very deliberately, Jane remained facing forward, but she could feel the force of Maura's stare against her back. She kept her eyes on Agent Dean, who looked at her skeptically and shrugged.
"I don't buy it, Jane."
"Nope, absolutely not." Jane bit off each word, annoyed with Dean and with her own weak attempt to throw him off the scent. "You don't get to call me that, Agent."
Dean gave her a long look then held his hands up in surrender. "My apologies, Detective." He stepped closer to Jane, his approach cautious. "I thought despite how we left things, we were at least on a first name basis." Dean was softening his voice, openly contrite, and it was off-putting in how familiar it was. He'd done this song and dance right before he left town after the shooting, trying to mollify Jane without actually admitting he'd done anything wrong. Jane set her jaw, watching him with as much detachment as she could muster.
"We aren't."
Dean nodded in an insincere imitation of acceptance. Jane's intelligence was being insulted and she wondered, not for the first time, how often she'd dumbed herself down for men. "I can understand that. It was awful, how things went." Jane rolled her eyes but Dean continued, undeterred. He took one more step, moving just enough to reduce the distance between them from professional to familiar. "Could I maybe take you to dinner and we could see about getting back to one? A first-name basis, I mean."
At that, Maura spoke for the first time since Dean walked into the room.
"Oh my god, you don't know." Her voice was tinged with disbelief as well as something else. When Jane turned around at her words and saw the look on Maura's face, she realized it had to be glee. Jane flicked a glance back to Dean, whose brow was furrowed in confusion. He looked like he'd completely forgotten Maura was in the room.
"Don't know what?" Dean asked.
Oh, Christ.
Jane shot Maura a warning look. "Maura—"
"Jane's gay," Maura plowed ahead, her satisfaction at being the one to deliver the news both evident and abundant.
Dean fell silent, his expression starting off suspicious before gradually turning into one of genuine surprise. Despite the circumstances, his shock was a little satisfying for Jane. Disbelief hadn't been a reaction that this information often inspired and it was oddly reassuring to know she'd fooled at least one person into believing she was straight.
Granted, she'd done it by having sex with him.
"Oh." Dean looked hesitantly towards Jane. She could see how all the pieces were clicking together in his mind, a total reevaluation of all their interactions. Slowly but surely his reaction to this information was morphing into one that was a little more familiar to Jane. The shock was nice while it lasted.
"In fact," Maura continued, a little too cheerfully. "I suppose you were the last man she—"
"Maura," Jane admonished. Maura went to speak again but instead pressed her lips together, chastened by Jane's tone. She wore an expression equal parts annoyed and triumphant.
As if sent from heaven specifically to end the awkward silence Jane now found herself in, Susie Change pushed her way through the morgue doors and looked apprehensively between the three of them. Jane had never been happier to see the senior criminalist in her life. She smiled gratefully and Susie could not have possibly looked away from Jane faster.
"Uh, Doctor Isles?"
"Yes, Susie?" Maura spoke without looking away from Agent Dean, her eyes fixed coolly.
"There's a body arriving, another one from this morning. You'd already been dispatched to North Point Park so Doctor Pike was the attending medical examiner. Detective Crowe and his partner were on the scene."
Jane watched as Maura wrinkled her nose distastefully at the mention of so many of their least favourite people. It's an expression she would have enjoyed under normal circumstances. Maura finally looked away from Dean.
"What was the preliminary assessment on the scene?" Maura asked, watching as two CSRU techs wheeled the body into the morgue.
"No visible injuries apart from an injection site. Doctor Pike thinks it's an unattended drug overdose." Susie's eyes darted mistrustfully to Agent Dean before she looked back to her boss. "Would you like Doctor Pike to conduct the autopsy?"
Maura shook her head. "I've finished up here. I may not get around to it until the morning but either way you can let Doctor Pike know that I will take the autopsy and he can return to his jurisdiction."
Susie's relief was palpable. The two techs hoisted the body onto the unoccupied autopsy table and Maura cast a derisive glance in Agent Dean's direction.
"Will you be joining us, Agent Dean? I'm not sure how far your federal edict extends—am I allowed to perform this autopsy unsupervised? I know I am but a humble state employee."
If Jane hadn't been worried about whether she was going to be the next victim, she'd be pretty impressed with the degree of sarcasm that Maura was achieving.
Dean narrowed his eyes, wetting his lips to speak but then exhaling instead. He cleared his throat, looking between the three women.
"No, I'll be heading upstairs. My team will be working out of Meeting Room B on the third floor. I'd like to have copies of everything you have so far pertaining to these three murders."
"You'll have exactly that, Agent Dean," Maura said before turning to the glove dispenser on the wall and getting down to the business of thoroughly ignoring the G-man. Dean made a face, glanced over at Jane, and wordlessly departed the morgue. She watched him carefully through the windows that lined the morgue, waiting until he disappeared out of sight before turning back to Maura and Susie, who was suddenly looking extremely shifty.
"Doctor Isles!" Susie hissed in a loud unnecessary stage whisper. "We have the results on the blood."
"The blood typing?" Maura asked, confused over Chang's theatrics.
"That too. But I meant the blood from Gregory Pearson, the liver resection death." Two sets of eyebrows shot up. Chang looked excitedly between the two of them and then began to ruck up the back of her lab coat. To the further surprise of both women, Susie produced two blue folders that had been tucked into the back of her scrubs. Susie offered Jane a nervous smile as she handed two file folders to Maura. "The polymerase chain reaction finally came back from the genetics lab where we sent it. When I saw him in here…" Susie's voice dripped with disdain and Jane had never felt quite so fond of her. "...I stuffed the results down my pants. Into my pants. I put the results into—I hid the results on my person."
Susie had slowly turned a bright, enduring shade of red as she spoke. The agony of discussing the inside of her pants in front of both her boss and presumed workplace infatuation was both painfully evident and not fleeting.
"Chang, I've never been more impressed," Jane said sincerely. Susie was now crimson all the way down her chest, positively glowing at the praise. Maura made an aggressively disappointed noise.
"Senior Criminalist Chang has been instrumental in providing the evidence that has closed countless cases, Detective."
"Yeah, what's your point," Jane said absently, still grinning at Chang who looked liable to dissolve on the spot.
"Okay," Maura said sharply. "Perhaps we'll take a look at the results, Jane?" Maura emphasized her name in a way that set off a few alarm bells and Jane. She looked over to find a very stern expression staring back at her.
"Yes. Results."
Jane watched Maura open first one folder then the other. She read them silently and pointedly, both of them well aware that even if Jane looked over her shoulder none of it would mean anything to Jane without Maura's explanation. Maura's face betrayed nothing as she went through both sets of results but the fact that Susie was wriggling with anticipation was evidence enough that the results were significant. Maura closed both folders and looked at Chang with a mixture of personal and professional appreciation.
"It was wise that you didn't come in earlier. We would have had to hand this over to Agent Dean right away."
Susie Chang was possibly having the best day of her life. Jane, meanwhile, realized that she was being punished a little because Maura was taking as long as possible to loop her in. If this was the worst that a visit from Dean would inspire, Jane could handle it. She folded her hands over her belt buckle and summoned all the patience she rarely deployed when it came to matters of evidence.
Maura finally looked over and if Jane had to pick one word to describe her expression it would be 'testy.' But deep, deep beneath the irritation she could still see the fondness and she chanced a big smile. Maura's lips twitched, but her expression remained otherwise unchanged.
"The blood from the underarm of today's body is a different blood type from the deceased and the PCR test shows that Doctor Pearson received a blood transfusion from our exsanguination victim."
"Holy shit," Jane breathed. Maura quirked her brow. Chang looked between them like she wasn't entirely sure she should be there for this interaction.
"You're surprised? Both of these results are in line with your hunches, Detective." Maura folded her arms across her chest, the two folders now pressed against her chest.
"Hey, listen, there's Jane-sure and Maura-sure, and your sure is much…surer." Jane shrugged.
"The surest," Susie piped in, which she followed up with a quiet squeak when both women turned to her again. "Uh, it may not be my place to ask, but I'm just wondering, will you be giving those to Agent Dean today?"
Jane was about to respond on their behalf, begrudgingly confirming that these results would have to be included with the copies going to the FBI team, when Maura cut in first.
"No I will not, Susie. I think Agent Dean's instructions were quite clear. He asked us for everything we had so far and I told him that's exactly what he'd get. We didn't have these results at the time." Maura pushed her notes from the earlier autopsy across to Susie, but kept the other two folders in her other arm. "Perhaps there's a version of events where I'd already sent what I had before you even showed these to us." Jane's jaw dropped open and Susie's eyes went big as dinner plates at her inclusion in the subterfuge. Maura's expression remained imperious. "Susie, could you please run these up to Detective Frost on the third floor so he can hand them off."
"Uh, yeah. I mean—yes. Yes, Doctor Isles. I would be happy to run these files upstairs, which contain everything we have…so far." Chang made a weird giddy noise as she scooped up the files before very nearly fleeing the morgue.
Maura watched her go with a slight frown.
"Have I just corrupted my employee?"
"Yes, but only, like, barely," Jane offered. Maura sighed and turned to face her. Jane mimed scratching her own neck. "Little itchy, Doc?"
Maura flushed and pressed her hand to her throat. "Maybe a little."
"Worth it?" Jane raises an eyebrow. She liked this scheming, dipping-a-toe-in-the-grey-area version of Maura a little too much, probably.
"I just wanted to give you a head start." Maura held out the two folders to Jane. "I'm sure he'll expect another update tomorrow but for now the three of us are the only ones that know the first two murders are conclusively connected."
"Is that the only reason? A head start for me?" Jane knew she was playing with fire but she had to get a sense of whether Maura was mad at Dean or whether Maura was mad at Dean and Jane again. She reached out and took the offered folders, watching Maura carefully.
Maura chews on her lower lip for a silent moment before exhaling loudly. "He's just so annoying. Arrogant and smarmy and ugh . I can't believe you slept with him."
"You said one of us should."
"Years ago. Oh my god, Jane—"
"Whoa, hey, hold on. You're right. He's awful. I had terrible taste, I see that now. Although you… shouldn't throw stones in glass morgues, if we're being honest." Jane barrelled right through Maura's offended gasp. "But I want to say I'm sorry. For picking such a loser and for telling him about Doyle. I don't know what I was trying to accomplish. I think I was trying to protect you and for some reason I thought he'd find that as important as I did."
Maura was taken aback. Jane knew that an unexpected apology from her stubborn self was worth its weight in gold and she was given immediate confirmation of that belief as Maura's shoulders slumped and her expression softened.
"I mean, I practically pushed you into his arms," Maura sighed. Victory.
"Yeah, you really did. Why didn't you want better for me, Maur?" Jane watched with amusement as Maura's features cycled through several different expressions before settling, quite unexpectedly, on seductive.
"Oh believe me, Jane, I did." Maura's voice was pitched low and it sent a shiver up Jane's spine. Maura appraised her carefully. "Any plans for tonight?"
Jane and Maura had spent every night together since the hotel, mostly at Maura's house, unless they went to the Robber which was just a short walk from Jane's apartment. Nonetheless, every day they still performed the same song and dance as if the fact that they would be together wasn't implied.
"Oh, uh…" Jane cleared her throat. "Actually, I kinda wanted to watch Game 2 of the ALDS."
It couldn't be more apparent that this was not any one of the answers that Maura might have predicted and she was visibly distressed.
"You—what? Baseball? The Red Sox didn't make the playoffs. They were awful. They finished in last place!" Maura was acting like she'd been dropped into an alternate reality, forced to defend her timeline's version of history.
"Wow, okay." Jane held her arms up to slow Maura's roll. "Don't remind me. It's the Yankees and Orioles."
Maura stared at Jane. "You hate both those teams!"
"I do." Jane nods. "But I hate the Yankees a lot more, and I watch in order to see them lose."
This explanation did not do much to alleviate Maura's confusion and she stood there like she were privately relitigating the pros and cons of dating Jane. "And what happens if the Yankees win?"
She'd never admit it out loud, but Jane loved these moments. She loved it every time Maura was forced to confront the many ways in which they were very different people, particularly the ways in which Jane was unrefined or blue collar or vulgar. She loved it because each and every time, Jane came out on top, and being chosen repeatedly by a woman like Maura was the best feeling she'd ever known. She leaned in close and bumped Maura's shoulder with her own.
"Then I'll be in a terrible mood, obviously. What time should I come over? You want to just leave together?" Jane grinned. Maura sighed.
"That sounds good," Maura said, and she didn't sound like she entirely believed her own words. "But I get to pick everything we eat and you're drinking wine, not beer."
Jane shot a finger gun and clicked her tongue. "Deal."