MISSED ME???? I'M SORRY! LIFE HAS BEEN WILD BUT I'M BACK AND EVEN IF IT TAKES A WHILE I REALLY AM GONNA FINISH THIS STORY (LOTS OF GOOD CHAPTERS COMING!) HOPE YOU ENJOY :D

Vanessa had taken off her heels and settled in on the couch for the night. She waited for Zac while he went to get them some water.

As Zac handed her a bottle, he saw her typing away furiously on her phone. "Sorry, am I keeping you from something?" Or someone, he thought. He hadn't even thought about if she was seeing someone. Was he overstepping his bounds?

"Nah, it's just Mama G. She sent me a meme of us…haha. Oh God, look at this one," she handed him her phone. On the screen was an image of the two of them meeting on the red carpet earlier that evening just as Zac enveloped Vanessa in a big hug. The meme highlighted a particularly zealous fan girl in the background with the caption "How it feels when your divorced parents come together for the holidays."

"Jeez… that's crazy, haha," he said as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh, that's not all. There are so many captions for this meme that there's already a Buzzfeed article with the best ones."

"Aww, man. People are nuts."

"True. Haha. Twitter is going insane too. Half of the people are saying it was an awkward encounter and the others think we're eloping tonight. Some of them say I was angry. One even says I spit on you?! I can't with the internet." She shook her head.

"Damn. What's Mama G doing up this late anyways?"

"Oh, she's a big night owl these days. This is early for her."

"Haha, well tell her I say hi."

"Will do," she smiled at his thoughtfulness.

The internet frenzy seemed like an alien world to him. People's reactions or comments rarely represented the reality of a situation. Social media in general could be a toxic space. He tried to navigate his relationship with his online presence by keeping his posts short and brief and to the point - usually about upcoming projects, a quick check in with fans or to highlight charity causes. But, there was a time during his early days of fame that he would obsess over the public's opinion about him. He wondered how the attention had affected Vanessa over the years, especially the scrutiny about their relationship.

"Does stuff like that make you uncomfortable?" he asked, settling in on the couch beside her.

"What, the memes?" she clarified.

"Yeah… I guess I mean that and the stuff about us in general."

"Hmm… is that one of your questions?" she asked, wagging her eyebrows, referring to his deck of cards.

"Oh shoot, right, let's play." They both put down their first cards upright. Zac's 8 of hearts trumped her 3 of spades so he posed the question again. "Yeah, so I guess how did it affect you when they wrote about us after we broke up?"

"Hmmm… I mean I think I felt different things at different times, you know?"

He nodded in encouragement.

"I think when the break up was so fresh I guess I had anticipated that they would write about us or ask me about it. But initially, I was grateful that it wasn't an ugly break up and I only had good things to say about you. Truly, there wasn't anything negative in my heart about you or us so it wasn't too bad. I mean, of course, someone prying into your personal life, especially after something tough like a breakup, is never fun but atleast I honestly never had anything bad to say or feel, you know? Later, however, there were times, I won't lie, especially when I was in a new relationship that I felt bad when people wanted to know more about us than my current relationship. I tried to be kind and patient but sometimes it was a lot. I felt that I was entering a new phase but people were still hung up over my past. Paparazzi would yell out things and interviewers were always trying to pry. It was hard… "

"Yeah, definitely that makes sense. I'm sorry it was so tough for you."

"Nah, I mean I get it. People were really invested in the idea of us and clearly still are!" she motioned to her phone. "Haha. I guess we did our job a little too well, haha. I mean as weird as it is, and while I never will fully be comfortable with "fame," it really is a part of the job. We get to do what we love but it can come with a price."

He felt terrible that she had to go through any discomfort because of him - even indirectly. He anticipated how it must've felt for her when the break up was fresh but years later, he wondered how she felt. He just hoped she didn't have any regrets about their former relationship. "What about now? Is it still hard for you when they talk about our relationship in interviews and such?"

"Sometimes when that's the ONLY thing someone wants to talk about like even with HSM or just pry about details about us it is annoying because there's so much more to talk about - like a new movie or a new business venture I'm working on. But, nah, you know what - it really isn't. I've even brought you up in conversations myself when talking about stories from the past! Haha. I mean, honestly and truly I've always been grateful for our relationship. It was young love - so pure and organic and it grounded me when I needed it most. To have your life turned upside down at such a young age is insanity and it was so important for me to have someone by my side who was going through the exact same thing. I honestly don't know how I would have managed without you. And so, I never had trouble talking about you but when that became ALL people wanted to know about instead of my work or other things that were important to me at that time, it was tough. Sometimes it felt as if I'd only ever be relevant again if I was attached to you or to our franchise. But now, I embrace all of it. With the passage of time you gain so much perspective on so many things. I know they're going to ask me about us or write about us in some way or the other just like they do with HSM. It can be a lot but it's also the greatest privilege to have this platform. And it really doesn't bother me because I realized something one day…"

"What's that?" He leaned forward, his curiosity peaked.

"There's this amazing quote - 'We are a mosaic of all the people we've ever known.' It's so true. We grew up together. There's a part of me in you and you in me. Unknowingly and unconsciously there are things I do, say or even laugh at because of you. And then when I look back I realize I'm so lucky. My mosaic is so rich and my tapestry is woven with so many people I've loved and cared about. And they were all good people - so how could that ever be anything but beautiful?"

Wow. Zac leaned back as he felt the weight of her words. It seemed as if she had encapsulated a lot of his own feelings.

"That's beautiful. I'm so glad you have that perspective and feel that way now. And absolutely that's so true - we are so blessed to know the people we know on this wild journey," Zac said in awe.

Vanessa put down her hand of cards on the table. Zac did the same. The cards had merely been a way to ease into the conversation but now that they were comfortable talking, the gimmick wasn't needed.

"What about you? Did it bother you that they'd bring us up in your interviews?" asked Vanessa.

"Honestly, it was such a crazy time. Initially and even now, yeah I had no problem with it or talking about you in general. Just like you said, I was so grateful for you and our relationship too and I knew it meant a lot to others as well. I mean, when I went to the Philippines that was naturally a big topic haha but it was such a special group of fans who respected our relationship and who only had immense love for us so it was easy to talk about you and our bond. But slowly, press in general became such a tough thing for me. They were always asking me weird shit haha. And you know press with you was really all I had ever known. It was so routine and comfortable. But then when we weren't together it was definitely a strange feeling. I felt I was on my own answering a bunch of questions about us or even myself and I didn't even have you to talk to or confer with. I didn't even know where we stood – I wanted to be friends but at the time I don't think it was in the cards for us. We'd only ever been in love. I didn't know how to exist around you without the hope and potential for more. And honestly, seeing you with other people after… I guess I didn't know where I fit in. That being said, I think I had an easier time… I mean they stopped asking me about us only because they had way more shit to write about like me trying to eff up my life haha."

Vanessa assumed he was talking about the dark period he went through a few years after they parted ways. She had heard about it from friends and seen it on the news but had never heard his side of the story until now. She stayed silent but her eyes conveyed support as he continued.

"I mean for me it wasn't necessarily about our relationship but more the public's perception of me at that time. I felt grounded with you and the HSM crew but after that I didn't know where I fit in anymore. And living in LA was just brutal. I mean perception is everything. All of a sudden I wasn't just a kid pursuing his dreams and doing what he loved. I was this "celebrity" , this "object" that people thought they knew but I didn't know who I was anymore. I was googling myself everyday - so concerned about what people were saying about me as if that was the truth - who I was and not just something they had imagined. They started seeing me as the type of guy I never wanted to be but what sucked was that the more they pegged me as THAT guy the more I started believing I WAS him. I really felt like I lost myself. All I wanted to do was keep on working - THAT'S what I always wanted - to do the thing I loved but aside from the work, I didn't know HOW I was supposed to live my life anymore. I couldn't do the normal things I used to do and as ugly as it sounds I had all this fame and power and everyone around me wanted to use it somehow and the only way they showed me how to do it was by being destructive… I started hanging out with the wrong people - I mean just really stupid shit. And when I realized I was becoming the kind of guy I hated, I just became even more introverted and started leaning on unhealthy coping mechanisms - using alcohol as a crutch. In short - I spiraled…"

"Rehab…." she trailed off. It wasn't a question but more of an offer to talk about something if he felt comfortable doing so.

"Yeah… rehab. It was a sobering experience in more ways than one. I mean I had to rebuild myself from scratch- my confidence, my belief systems and even my relationship with my family. Eventually, I pulled myself out of it with the help of Mum, dad and Dylan but yeah… a dark time," Zac grinned a tight lipped smile.

"I feel guilty…" Vanesa trailed off once again looking down at her lap.

"For what?" Zac asked, genuinely perplexed.

"I disassociated myself from you during that time… maybe I should've reached out to you…"

"Absolutely not!" Zac sat up straight.

Vanessa's expression morphed into one of confusion as Zac continued. "That was the best thing ever. Sorry, that came out wrong - I mean I would NOT have wanted to take you down this path with me. I'm so glad you weren't anywhere near all of this. You know, that was a big part of the reason I wasn't able to stay in touch with Corbin and the other guys too. Just like I isolated from my family…. Since we were all like family too, I pushed the people closest to me away. I guess I felt so ashamed and embarrassed I didn't want to let you guys see me weak and vulnerable like that. But also at the same time I wanted to protect you guys. If I was going to self-destruct - I wanted to do it alone. I couldn't bear the thought of you all being dragged down just for being friends with me."

"I'm so sorry… If you needed me or us, we would've been there for you. I hope you know that…" Vanessa looked at him with sincere and wide eyes. It was the truth. If he had needed her - she would've been there for him. But years of distance, miscommunication, rumors and salacious media didn't leave space for a simple reconnection.

"I know…" Zac said softly. He reached out and put his hand on top of hers and gave it a light squeeze. "But it was better this way. I think being away from all my support systems encouraged me to lean on myself. I hadn't done that in a while - especially not in this new phase of life."

"That's good. Sometimes, we have to be completely cut off from everything to find our inner strength… So, how are you now?"

"SO much better. I do sometimes get terrible insomnia and have way too many existential crises haha but I've learned to manage my mental health so much better. Being out in nature works wonders for me. It grounds me and reminds me that the world is so much bigger than my world. I also love to meditate these days, haha."

"That's wonderful. I'm so happy to hear that. Honestly, I agree. Being in nature and meditating always centers me - I'm glad they work for you too."

"Yes. And another thing I always keep at the forefront when I feel down: There are no losses in life, only lessons. Can't go wrong when you trust that mantra. Everything is a lesson - the good and the bad. The highs and the lows. Even if you can't always get a win, you can gain perspective."

"So wise… and absolutely true. Alright… now that you've been in the hot seat for a minute, it's your turn - ask me a question, Efron. Make it a good one." Vanessa attempted to lighten the heavy conversation.

Zac smiled at her, relieved for the break in heavy conversation. He thought about it for a minute before the thought that had consumed him for the past 40 minutes came to the forefront before he could stop it. "Are you seeing anyone? I mean last I saw you were married… which belated congratulations by the way!" He awkwardly rubbed his eyebrow.

"Thanks…but you might wanna hold off on the congratulations," Vanessa gingerly lifted her left hand to show her bare ring finger.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry I didn't know…" Zac felt terrible for broaching a sensitive topic but Vanessa felt comfortable sharing her story.

"Yeah, this was a tough one, I'm not gonna lie. I thought I was finally settling down. I felt really good and secure but you know life happens…"

"What happened? Sorry you don't have to tell me nevermind -"

"No, it's alright," Vanessa smiled softly. She had processed this breakup in a different way than before. She had gone through the motions of the separation but she still hadn't truly talked about it in depth. Her friends had been extremely supportive but they had wanted her to distract herself and focus on her work rather than dwell on what had happened so she never really had the chance to truly talk about everything. Perhaps, a kind, objective familiar face was the right space for her to unload. "I mean, on paper everything was perfect. In real life too. He was a walking green flag. So he was a baseball player. He wasn't super famous but he was well known and he was doing his own thing and I was doing mine. We were in sync. He matched my energy. He was super goofy but also really kind and had his priorities straight. He wanted to settle down young, have kids - the whole thing. And that's what I was looking for too at this stage in my life…"

Zac nodded to encourage her to go on.

"We met in COVID of all times, haha. On a zoom call. We were in this meditation group and we kinda DM'ed one another and then met up. Covid was such a different time though. Dating like never before. It was hard to meet up at first but once it was safe and everyone was vaccinated, I went down to meet him in his hometown. It felt really good. But then real life picked up again and I was filming and he was working. But despite everything, it was amazing. Long distance didn't seem so hard with him at all. We both checked in on each other and we both made sure to prioritize the other. And soon enough, we got engaged and married. It was the best kind of whirlwind. And then something even more amazing happened…"

"What was that?" Zac's curiosity peaked.

"The real love of my life made an appearance." Vanessa smiled shyly as she showed him her phone lock screen. A picture of a young boy with dark curly hair, mocha skin and Filipino features appeared.

"Oh my God!" Zac was floored. He didn't know how he had missed that. Vanessa was a mother. To a little baby boy. "Is that?"

"My son, yeah…Kai." She grinned proudly staring at the screen fondly before looking back at Zac and handing him the device.

"He's adorable," said Zac. He held the phone tenderly and with so much care as if it was a baby. "How old is he?"

"Two and a half. He's with Mama G. They have a sleepover every other weekend. They both look forward to it so much. That's why she was up - she was texting me updates. But also looking at memes haha."

"That's amazing. I'm so happy for you, Van."

"Thanks," she smiled before continuing her story.

"So after Kai was born, I really took the time to embrace motherhood. I wanted to be a present mom. I wanted to be there for all his firsts and wanted us to be a family. But, it was hard. Even though I was lucky enough to take a break from work, Cole couldn't. Kai and I worked really hard to travel and be there for him but it was so hard with a small baby. And over time, I realized both of us were spending more time on a plane or a bus than anywhere on the ground. While that worked when I was single and independent, it was much tougher as a mom. I wanted my baby to have stability. I also wanted to be in LA more - closer to my mom and sister. I tried so hard to keep it all together but I found that while I was prioritizing my baby, my husband, or my family, I stopped prioritizing myself. It wasn't anyone's fault - it's just life…"

She trailed off with a misty look on her eyes before she cleared her throat and continued.